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Stop Bodying Yourself on Twitter!

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Why did he suddenly stop calling?

I’m all for freedom of expression and living your life (no Rihanna), but sometimes people take it too far and don’t even know it. As someone that writes publicly and shares personal details of my slightly above mundane existence, it’s a fine line to walk between keeping it honest and relatable, and turning my life into a sh*t show. As most of you know, I’m on Twitter. I say a lot of foolishness (ranting about getting a ticket for public urination), silliness (claiming that it’s as hot outside as donkey nuts), and thought-provoking or empowering stuff (things that aren’t funny). It’s no different than how I am when I’m not at a keyboard. The biggest difference between the e-me and real me is that the real me smells better. The real me also knows how to stay out of trouble online.

A few of my lady friends — not to be confused with women that I’m pretzeling or pumping with my full tank that is soon to be emptied — tell me about the men in their lives and wonder why they can’t get them to commit or consider going beyond hugs, kisses, and post-sex silence. Kegel-certified cooch will impress a man, but it won’t keep one. Random, but I had to say it. Anyway, they’re also on Twitter along with a lot of people that I don’t know in real life but choose to follow for whatever reason. And honestly, though I’m never not, it pains me to see how many women are bodying themselves and destroying their potential relationships with men because they’re going too hard and too raw in their tweets. Take that however you’d like.

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Most men aren’t completely adverse to relationships. They just need to see that pulling themselves off the market and passing up on free bunz is worth it. We’re pettier than we’d like to admit and we have feelings that we choose not to share for a multitude of reasons. And though we may not be saying anything, we’re watching what you do and what you say in hopes of finding a reason to keep you where you are, which is in the category of rightlessness. This basically means we’re not together and you have no right to tell us what to do or require anymore more than safe practices. It’s a cold but surprisingly warm place. And yes, we may not be thinking too much while you’re riding us off to Planet Nut. But once we’ve returned to Planet Rational-Reality, the evaluation and analysis continues. The title of this post says it, but let me say this again because it affects my soul and cell phone minutes:

Stop bodying yourself on Twitter!

If you’re trying to get a man to commit, do you think he wants to read about the men you’ve been on dates with, the density of your space, or see you drunk tweeting about why n*ggas or the guy you just got off the phone with ain’t sh*t? Do you think he wants see you playing along with the #mybestsexwaswhen hashtag? Do you think that he wants a ratchet? I don’t want a ratchet and I have no interest in training one. Your degree(s) won’t keep him satisfied, but your ability to keep your business your business will. It’s pretty simple. What’s so hard to understand?

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Yeah, men say a lot of dumb stuff online. Some of us participate in Titty Tuesday and Ass for Days Thursday and get away with it. There’s a double standard around decorum. I get it. But let’s be real, it’s not going anywhere fast. It’s as close to being forgotten as something that ended in the 1800s.

So no, you don’t need to deal with so many assholes that you’re a board-approved rectumologist to finally qualify for a good man. Just stop doing dumb sh*t. You can have your freedom, be expressive, and enjoy social media without creating missed connections that end up on Craigslist.

Men care about appearance. And regardless of confidence level, we care about what people think when it comes to the women in our lives. I had a friend that dated the uncouth. We stopped hanging out with him. He left the uncouth. Now we hang out again. It’s really simple stuff. I’m telling you.

This is my PSA for the week and month, but most certainly not the year. Stop it with the “I’m doing what I want.” Because sometimes doing what you want doesn’t get you what you need.

Checking Handles Before I Check For The Handles,

P.S. I just launched my 1st personal blog in 3 years at http://www.therealslimjackson.com. Please drop by and check it out, add it to your feed reader, and all that good stuff.

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P.S.S. This is the last week to nominate SBM for the Black Weblog Awards. Please take a moment to do so if you haven’t already. Best Group, Best Sex and Relationship, Best Lifestyle, and Best Blog Post Series (Use this url for series), and Blog of the Year are best bets. Thanks!

 

Comment(122)

  1. This is pretty timely because although I don't tweet a lot of personal stuff, I have gone OD with the drunk tweets once or twice and it came back to bite me both times. Men definitely get away with more than women in the virtual world and it's pretty clear that the rules apply across the board.

    What have I learned? Well if I'm enjoying the spirits, stay away from Twitter or the internet in general. I wish that I had read this PSA about a month ago, but better late than never. Thank goodness I have a pretty fast learning curve.

  2. So now women can't tweet what they want if they want a man??? Yeah nah, who wants a man caught up in double standards and too insecure to date me cause of my tweets. I'm good. I'll tweet what I want as you men do and wait for a non douche bag who doesn't care what people think. I ain't no trophy.

    1. i dont think folks are implying that you can't tweet that you want a man…but if the majority of your tweets are about how males ain't s**t, how it's all about you you you like a Mya song, and in general, high school crachety stuff (when you in your 20s)…

      then don't be surprised when a dude judges you off that.

      just like how most (regular) dudes with twitter learn not to say too much, because it just kills their chances with the opposite sex (just like in the real world)

      just saying…if someone moos like a cow, then a vegan's gonna back away from the beef.

      ^ this made sense at 4something…hope it makes sense in 12 hours*

    2. "Yeah, men say a lot of dumb stuff online. Some of us participate in Titty Tuesday and Ass for Days Thursday and get away with it. There’s a double standard around decorum. I get it. But let’s be real, it’s not going anywhere fast. It’s as close to being forgotten as something that ended in the 1800s."

      So… I don't think there is a double standard. If you're a guy and you're participating in something called "Titty Tuesdays"… you gets no love from me.

      It irritates me when people do too much on social networking sites…whether your a man OR a woman.

    3. i dont think they care what you tweet their just say they take it into account when thinking about being committed to you. If you tell all you buisness on twitter, then when your in a relationship with that man nine time out of ten you will talk about the trouble you are going through in that realtionship on twitter. I see it all the time girls mad at their man tweeting for attention. It gets so bad that ppl dont even have to be around during the argument between you two and will know all of what is going on b/c shorty is tweeting her feelings away like a child. So in some context yes men and women should take into context some of the things your potential partner is tweeting. Im not saying you have to clock their tweets but its just like being on a date you look at their actions..and yes tweeting is an action not just words .

  3. I get exactly where you're coming from. But the message won't be gotten. The behavior will be defended. Plus, most men are good with this because they get the benefits that come from interactions with these women and they get to know the truth about them what the women are capable of before going too far down the relationship path. Seems like a great idea to me.

    Also, I encourage women who want to do those things to do them and do them often. They self-select themselves from being considered for anything long-term with certain dudes. However, there are men who will publicly claim those women. They make themselves knows so that those types of men can pursue relationships with them. And that's fine.

  4. yes women do themselves bad on twitter sometimes. let me tell you a story. there's this guy i'm cool with. he talks to a woman. a friend of said woman found a picture of me on twitter. she asked both of them to meet me. i didn't have a problem meeting said young lady. we added each other on twitter. she tweeted: "i didn't know the government was about to get shut down." this was like a week after the furlough was avoided. in my judging tone i tweeted: "a woman who isn't abreast on current events is a turn off." her friend immediately tweeted: "shots". so i know she knows i was talking about her.

    also, don't think i'm gonna take you seriously if you tweet about all these other dudes you date like they ain't ish. i'm gonna think you're the common denominator.

  5. I look at it like this. My mom follows me on twitter and she's a facebook friend. She's up to the time so she can't help being "with it". So basically anything I wouldn't want her to read I don't post online. Plus I was lucky enough to become a mom in January. And I'm sure at some point my child will be able to "Google" me or whatever the equivalent of that will be in 16 years and I'd like for him not to be ashamed of his mother because I didn't have the foresight to "censor" myself. Good post Slim!! Checked out the new blog today. Looking forward to all that's to come.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-305390">

      Andrienne: I look at it like this. My mom follows me on twitter and she’s a facebook friend. She’s up to the time so she can’t help being “with it”. So basically anything I wouldn’t want her to read I don’t post online.

      Co-sign!

      I won't embarrass my mother. It's okay to keep some things to yourself…

  6. This is interesting.

    Honestly, I don't think people should look for relationships on twitter. Twitter isn't real, and it isn't a true reflection of a person's character. If that was the case, a lot of men would be low class, sexists, egotistical, misogynistic, vile, vulgar, disgusting emotionally immature human beings who degrade and objectify women daily, and do so happily. Who's checking for that?

    Now, do some women get out of hand with sexual stuff? Not in my TL. But then again, I don't consider a RT of a #wangwednesday pic to be out of hand. Especially when my TL is filled with T&A 7 days a week. Add on the degrading and misogynistic RTs of unfunny comedians and other imbeciles, and I think women are justified in expressing themselves freely in space like twitter.

    There is a whole world outside of social media. Sometimes, I think people forget that. Everyone isn't on twitter. So, if you want a relationship, get off of the computer, and get out of the house. There are amazing people out there who aren't watching your tweets, waiting for you to say something about a big p*nis, just so they judge you as not good enough to date…

    1. I'ma be straight, I really don't know where I stand on this subject, but I dig this response and Red's and Andrienne's. I can tell you that there is no one on Twitter that I'm trying to date and there is a reason for that. The double standard is infuriating but deadly real, so raging against it is futile. I guess that's why I've done the workaround that I have: FB for public me, Twitter for my Id.

      I know it's best to introduce your crazy slowly to folks, but any man I date will definitely see the Twitter side of me sooner or later…one dude has already googled me and tripped the eff out about my "secret life".

      Asking for civility is never bad, but censorship and sexism certainly rub me the wrong way, no matter how necessary to the game I acknowledge that they are…interesting post Slim, the convo has serious potential *insert actions referring to making food and drink to enjoy the show*

      1. I'm waiting for someone to throw an egg at me.lol

        The thing with this post is that it wasn't just geared toward people looking for relationships online. Most folks I know look for them away from the computer, but they're also active on social media platforms. It's common to be talking to someone for a bit and find them on FB, what their twitter name is, etc. And similar to an employer screening, people get curious and take a look to see what they can find. It's not even a whole lot of work.

        1. Not to mention the folks who somehow have their twitter 'handle' connected to their real names seem not to understand that employers know how to use Google. Employers see that twitter name @dankyheaux is connected the Karmiletta Brown-Henderson. Do you want someone working for your company who doesn't have basic discretion? If she OR HE is on the innanets saying all sorts of things, it's not a hard leap to think they'll be in the streets spreading proprietary information about the company. Loose lips sink ships, relationships, and careers.

        2. I hear you Slim, I really do. Certainly no eggs over here, it's a valid argument. And I do wish that I'd have known how much ya'll would pull me in so that I would've chosen a more generic handle that no one in my real life would've been able to associate with me, but I didn't and the fact is Starita34 is me. A more brash me, a more unfiltered me, but me none the less. So if a man goes running because he doesn't like Starita34 then he wouldn't like *name redacted* either once he got to know me past the pleasantries and the "representative". If my family finds Starita34, I'm cool with that. They know the whoooole story. They can put it into context. Do I want them to read my every post? No. But I'm not ashamed of who I am or what I've posted.

          The real reason that I wished I'd built a more anonymous handle is for work and privacy purposes. Some stuff should never be associated with a professional's name IMO. But when I made a comment here and there in the beginning, I had no idea that SBM would become a daily ritual or that I'd really like the folks, and certainly I never thought I'd meet ya'll – so I used my go-to nickname from college.

          People from real life have asked to be on my Twitter and it's just not an option. Twitter is for me and my blog peeps (I do have one gf though that may become active on SBM and I would allow her, but she already gets me all the way raw anyway). When I wanna talk about someone IRL that's irking/exciting me, I need to have that outlet. That outlet used to be my guy…but, well, we all know what happened to that…

    2. <blockquote cite="comment-305393">

      N.I.A. naturally: There is a whole world outside of social media. Sometimes, I think people forget that. Everyone isn’t on twitter. So, if you want a relationship, get off of the computer, and get out of the house. There are amazing people out there who aren’t watching your tweets, waiting for you to say something about a big p*nis, just so they judge you as not good enough to date…

      I was wondering if anyone was going to bring this up. Granted, Slim's subsequent comment in this very thread shed some new light on his thoughts. Anyone who follows me on Twitter (@WISDOMISMISERY!) knows I heavily passively participate in #T*ttyTuesday and #ThongThursday with the best of'm. I also don't actively recruit women on-line, especially not using Twitter but I don't turn down easy pum no matter the forum in which it is thrown. However, this may be more reflective of where I live than my unwillingness to do so. I simply don’t view Twitter as a reliable means of meeting women. Maybe I'm going about life all wrong, it wouldn’t be the first time.

      I think another point I wanted to address is that I didn’t realize how much double standards were in play until I began formally blogging. It's crazy. I'm not complaining but it's strange how blindly double standards take place on the Internet. For example, Max and I essentially wrote a blog on the same subject (about a year a part) and WOMEN ate her alive for it – no pun intended – whereas, I largely got a pass from both men and women. I mean this is only one of many examples but it's interesting to watch it all unfold. Oh well, what can ya do.

      *puts on Joss Stone – It's a Man's World*

      1. For example, Max and I essentially wrote a blog on the same subject (about a year a part) and WOMEN ate her alive for it – no pun intended – whereas, I largely got a pass from both men and women.

        *Putting my cross referencing cap on…*

        Links please…

        1. I can be dense at time… But Great Guy & Regular Girl… I Still have yet to read the comments @ FreshXpress.com… But I doubt I will learn anything new

      2. I guess the thing that bugs me about the double standard is that it's just so silly on so many levels. Like the #T*ttyTuesday and #ThongThursday stuff – I mean do women really think that if a man doesn't RT that stuff that he doesn't still ogle the pics and enjoy them?!

        ***This just in: men like chex and chexy bodies.***

        People aren't mad about what a man/woman actually thinks and feels in their life, they just care what they have the audacity to SAY?! That's backwards to me. Personally, I respect a person that can just do them (let me say for the record, just because I respect something, doesn't mean that I have to like it or think it's a wise move). I also don't think that a man enjoying or even objectifying a woman that has posted pics of herself mostly nude or allaway nude is mutually exclusive of him being a good man. I just wish that more men were able to differentiate in this same way. The fact that I fantasize about doing so many terrible, lascivious, nasty things to Idris really has no actual bearing on what I'd actually do to him in real life outside of my head.

        ***Breaking News: Women like chex and chexy bodies too. It doesn't even mean that they'd actually sleep with those people that they drool over. Yes, even if it's YOU.***

        1. <blockquote cite="comment-305821">

          Starita34: I guess the thing that bugs me about the double standard is that it’s just so silly on so many levels. Like the #T*ttyTuesday and #ThongThursday stuff – I mean do women really think that if a man doesn’t RT that stuff that he doesn’t still ogle the pics and enjoy them?!***This just in: men like chex and chexy bodies.***People aren’t mad about what a man/woman actually thinks and feels in their life, they just care what they have the audacity to SAY?! That’s backwards to me.

          I agree with your entire comment. I think in my case I give myself a little bit more freedom because I don't care. I know a lot of folks think they "know me" cuz they follow my little Twitter account and blog and that is hilarious to know end, but folks are welcome to draw their own conclusions.

          I started using Twitter to promote my website and it's been wildly succesful. I recognize some folks find me cras, cocky, an a-hole all or none on Twitter but if I'm not your cup of tea, then I feel you should try a different drink. Twitter is defined by the folks you choose to follow so when someone @'s me with a complaint I'm hella confused because there are so many ways to avoid me. (I'm not on Facebook so Twitter is my main means of contact. That's why I always liken things to Twitter).

          To your other point, I think it's COMEDY how many emails and DMs and @ replies I get from folks co-signing my Tweets/blogs/rants/raves that won't do the same in "public." That's fine and dandy but folks shouldnt throw glasses even if they think they live in a stone house.

        2. Oh yeah, forgot to add: My website and by proxy, my Twitter, didn’t get NEAR as much love UNTIL I started speaking on personal matters. Anyone that has followed my website from the beginning knows I use to be really generic and fairly private. In council with another successful blogger/mentor I made the decision to make my blog more personal and it's paid dividends.

          On the flip side, I've opened myself up to more judgment. It's cool because this was a conscious decision as opposed to a forced one. At the end of the day, you can't please any of the black folks all of the time. If I'm not personal, people will complain I'm too private/boring. I open up, people complain I'm putting too much of my business out there. lol

          Like Slim said in one of his former post, the blacks people love to gossip or as my dad advised me: Son, unfortunately, people are going to people.

    3. <blockquote cite="comment-305393">

      N.I.A. naturally:

      There is a whole world outside of social media. Sometimes, I think people forget that. Everyone isn’t on twitter. So, if you want a relationship, get off of the computer, and get out of the house. There are amazing people out there who aren’t watching your tweets, waiting for you to say something about a big p*nis, just so they judge you as not good enough to date…

      i get what you're saying. and to date, i've only known 2 people in real life that i knew of first online. thing is, i've met many, many people (men and women) at various events or just going about life, and the first thing they ask is if i'm on facebook and then later, if i'm on twitter. i don't think it's necessarily meeting folks online… it's the people that you already know, finding you online.

      my first conversation with a guy i met at this happy hour for a professional organization was him running down my WHOLE entire facebook life. lol. it creeped me out and i'd wondered why he asked me how to find me on facebook when we met, but i thought it wasn't a big deal so i gave it to him. brothaman had noted every picture, status, and hair change i'd had in the last year, plus details about my education, family, likes, etc. the whole convo felt like a job interview. my first experience being single in the facebook era. now i don't even give it out. lol

      1. ^^ That…sounds so creepy on his part. *shivers* ^^

        To the topic at hand: This post reminds me so much of someone I used to follow on Twitter.

        At any rate, I don't think there's as much of a double standard as one would think. I know plenty of women like Therelucantsocialte who are turned off by dudes who are way too announcy about their lives or too perverse in the content they share on Twitter, Tumblr or any other social media outlet.

        Hell, I get hell A LOT from women about some of the things I post to Twitter from Tumblr. That's not to say that I don't get a bunch of cosigns from other women though.

        At any rate, I can't agree enough with this statement: "It irritates me when people do too much on social networking sites…whether your a man OR a woman."

      2. I've been asked for my facebook a few times. That gets a tilted head "why?" followed by a "nope." I just don't understand the point of wanting to delve into my "personal" life so quickly.

    4. I don't know if this is the right venue to ask this, but Nia… you had mentioned a while back on Twitter that you were going to create a separate account to participate in #tittytuesday and #thongthursday, can I get that Twitter handle? I been meaning to ask you, but I forgot until just now.

      My apologies to the people who ain't interested.

      1. #iseewhatyoudidthereDoc

        1. No, never created it. Decided to RT #wangwednesday pics instead. Give the ladies something to ogle as they work to get over the hump.

        2. Just because I'm not extra on twitter doesn't mean I co-sign the BS "double-standards are here to stay so get over it" mentality. I judge people equally, men and women. So, I judge the women who speak proudly of being side-pieces, and I judge the men wo support them. I don't judge the trending topics as much as I judge the men who tweet or RT some of the woman bashing tweets on twitter. All is fair in love and war. Unlike most, I judge men just as harshly, if not more harshly, than I judge women. I'm not a fan of double standards, and try not to perpetuate them in my life. I'm more of the respect for all… #shrug You act like a fool, you get the side-eye from men, man or woman.

        1. That was my dislike BTW…

          Blah Blah Blah Blah… I hear you Nia…

          That being said… When you DO decide you show you ratchetness (anonymously or "name & face")

          Let a Ninja know… Let a ninja know…

          It is my immature POV is that when you do decide to let it all hang out… in ratchetness, you will outshine Max, and it will not be close…

          So, please keep a ninja posted…

        2. Nia I think you misunderstood me, I was serious, I stood behind you creating that account. I do not stand with Adonis on this issue. I still think you should go for it.

  7. Oh my goodness…

    Lol at “ranting about getting a ticket for public urination” and “claiming that it’s as hot outside as donkey nuts.”

    I have to have the paramedics on standby when I read these posts. Laughter will be the death of me if I continue to read the posts on this site.

    Titty Tuesday and Ass for Days Thursday?

    Lol. What the hell is going on in cyber space? Wow, this is all confirmation as to why I don’t want a Twitter account. The women who are bodying themselves probably aren’t trying to get a man to commit to them. I’m guessing the photos are a cry for attention and approval.

    Well, these are my thoughts on this topic. All the laughter has left me speechless.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-305411">

      Christina: Titty Tuesday and Ass for Days Thursday?

      Lol. What the hell is going on in cyber space? Wow, this is all confirmation as to why I don’t want a Twitter account.

      lol… I'm with you.

      I just don't understand why EVERYTHING has to be so public these days. I'm not opposed to people voicing their opinions, whatever they may be… but I don't understand why people feel the need to talk about everything in public forum? I think there is a time and a place for everything… and twitter/facebook may not be the best place to talk about certain things…

      But then again… I'm a pretty private person, so I like to keep my business to myself. Some people aren't as private… so to each its own, I guess.

  8. I love me some twitter lol! But I don't talk about relationships on there, I don't have a relationship status on facebook and I only talk about relationships that are done and gone on my tumblr.(I'm obviously a social networking junkie!) I don't really like when people put their whole life on the internet, no one cares that ray ray only called you once today!

    But I must admit that this post has made me a little self conscious about what I tweet..am I turning people off with my words? But I'd like to think that Kriola and E-Kriola are the same person so if you don't like my tweets you probably won't like me!

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-305448">

      Kriola:

      I love me some twitter lol! But I don’t talk about relationships on there, I don’t have a relationship status on facebook and I only talk about relationships that are done and gone on my tumblr.(I’m obviously a social networking junkie!) I don’t really like when people put their whole life on the internet, no one cares that ray ray only called you once today!

      this whole thing. i've seen women tweet stuff and it turned ME off, and i've no desire to date a woman, so i can see how a guy would view it. i simply don't understand why people feel the need to put their whole lives on twitter or facebook. funny thing is, every time i tweet something like that, everyone RTs it. so, people must agree. i guess "whole lives" is just a very relative concept. lol.

  9. I don't know. I get what you're saying but I think the overall message should be have fun but respect yourself/don't play yourself. I'm not a fan of societal prescription of what is appropriate behavior for women mostly because we(society, the media, etc) implicitly encourage overt sexuality as a means but then strike it down indiscriminately. Let's face it, so many women/people body themselves/over-share/FRONT on Twitter because people, <del>Triflin' A$$ Men</del> respond to the madness- be it in mentions or DMs. But really, I do and say what I want, whether its on Twitter but more importantly in real life. I'm more concerned with people who actually meet me and have the opportunity to assess my character rather than those who read my timeline of random or even purposeful musings said in 140 characters or less.

  10. I agree with you, even though I admit I get a little rowdy sometimes on twitter, such as tweeting that the pause-worthy grapple I was watching during UFC looked a lot like what went on in my bed last night. I think that was a bit TMI, but I'm still chuckling at that. I give myself a pass though because I'm not looking for a relationship so I'm not all that concerned about what a man would think if he read my tweets.

    I think though that women need to accept that if they're trying to get boo'd up they have to be hyper-aware of the image they're presenting. Not many men are going to wife down a chick who is tweeting her ass on Thursdays. That's just the way life goes. You can get yourself all hopped up about the unfairness of it all, but let's just hope all your righteous indignation keeps you warm at night.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-305603">

      max: I think though that women need to accept that if they’re trying to get boo’d up they have to be hyper-aware of the image they’re presenting. Not many men are going to wife down a chick who is tweeting her ass on Thursdays. That’s just the way life goes. You can get yourself all hopped up about the unfairness of it all, but let’s just hope all your righteous indignation keeps you warm at night.

      Basically…lol.

      And… I don't really see that its that different for men. I know if I see a man tweeting or posting a whole bunch of craziness, I'm usually turned off as well. So I guess I don't see that there is really a double standard here…

    2. " That’s just the way life goes. You can get yourself all hopped up about the unfairness of it all, but let’s just hope all your righteous indignation keeps you warm at night."

      Exactly!

    3. <blockquote cite="comment-305603">

      max: I think though that women need to accept that if they’re trying to get boo’d up they have to be hyper-aware of the image they’re presenting. Not many men are going to wife down a chick who is tweeting her ass on Thursdays. That’s just the way life goes. You can get yourself all hopped up about the unfairness of it all, but let’s just hope all your righteous indignation keeps you warm at night.

      GREATEST QUOTE, EV OR.

      I hope I see this again on Saturday's top comments but that's not up to me. lol

  11. A wise man once said, if want to know a woman, ask the proper question and she will run her mouth,all you have to do listen, and on that conversation I will found out everything I need to know about her which means run like hell or get to know her better. This works for social media,talking on the phone,etc. This post is great, because no real man likes his business in the streets or on facebook, it's a major turnoff. No offense ladies, I know men talk too, but women already talk too much and now they can broadcast it to the world with a click of a button and have more people in your business. To the ladies, it's all about how you carry yourself, yeah we may be looking at your measurements. But to a man of substance, that means a lot more

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-305605">

      Mix: This post is great, because no real man likes his business in the streets or on facebook, it’s a major turnoff.

      IMO… this statement means that the 'real men' will not be tweeting T& A foolishness and then in turn are justified in not condoning ratchet behaviour in potential mates.

      However if you are participating in Titty Tuesday and Ass for Days Thursday maybe your soulmate likes tweeting about her ratchet behavior and you will just simply have to learn how to train her.

        1. Well I am not on twitter much so I dont exactly know how this goes but I'm thinking 'like' behavior.

        2. Posting any kind of "T&A foolishness" is not the same as a man putting his "business in the street"; posting any kind of Peen foolishness is not the same as a woman putting her business in the street, either, regardless where it's done (Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Craigslist, messageboards, etc). Either way, I don't care, and I don't think a person should be judged by this kind of behavior.

          If s/he is going into excruciating detail about a lot of sexual events, relationship qualms or detailed events about their life, NOW we're talking about being unnecessarily announcy with their life. I can see how anyone would have an issue with THIS behavior.

          That's all I'm saying.

        3. <blockquote cite="comment-305740">

          Wit, Tits or STFU:

          “Tweeting T& A foolishness” isn’t the same as a man putting his “business in the streets” (unless he’s tweeting T&A of the women he frequently sexes). lol

          Pretty much. I'm not gonna write off a chick because she tweeted Mr. Glade. I'm sure some of yall know what I'm talking about. But if she's been dogging out dudes that she meets…ehhhhh, put that in a sarcophagus.

  12. "Yeah, men say a lot of dumb stuff online. Some of us participate in Titty Tuesday and Ass for Days Thursday and get away with it. There’s a double standard around decorum. I get it. But let’s be real, it’s not going anywhere fast. It’s as close to being forgotten as something that ended in the 1800s."

    ^^^^^^^This.

    *side note* That is one CREEPY picture of a bird right there lol

  13. I don't have a problem with women putting there ish online. I don't think you can get a person's whole persona off of it. I will say I think it makes a guy's job easier as far as who to deal with and not deal with. I don't think these women are the problem. They basically let men know what they're getting upfront indirectly to a certain degree. I'm more worried about the chic that's ratchet and tries to hide that ish. Women tend to bury or downplay their current and historical ratchetness and men get snuffed by it. This is why it's important run a carfax on the women you may want to get serious with.

      1. I really can't help but laugh at the thought that ya'll may really possibly believe that just because a woman is a chexual being that she is a ratchet or that whomever isn't saying whatever you deem nasty or oversharing that they are somehow less ratchet IRL…I'm taking a leap here, but in my head, it's astounding.

  14. <blockquote cite="comment-305368">

    true2me:

    So now women can’t tweet what they want if they want a man??? Yeah nah, who wants a man caught up in double standards and too insecure to date me cause of my tweets. I’m good. I’ll tweet what I want as you men do and wait for a non douche bag who doesn’t care what people think. I ain’t no trophy.

    Women can tweet whatever they want– It's a free world. But when a girl I'm talking to starts tweeting hashtags like #shewantsthed*ck, then it's a wrap for me. I don't care if it gives the impression that I'm Insecure (I'm not): I just don't want a female who gives out TMI.

  15. In my opinion ppl aren't stupid. Intially I knew ppl who joined twitter because it was the thing to do, and before I knew groups of friends (while in college) were joining twitter because of the drama they heard rumors about. I truly believe that everyone knows wut message they are trying to send via twitter and how their audience (followers) on twitter will response to what they tweet. Frankly women who tweet the ratchness, "nuckas aint sh*t" and their starting line ups like and thrive off that attention (#AttentionWhores) and there's nothing that we can says to change their minds.

  16. As much as I want to disagree with this agree I cant. Heauxs on twitter really do a disservice to themselves on twitter trying to prove to their 'twitter fam' how nasty and raunchy they can get especially females in my age group. I censor myself not because I'm trying to get boo'd up by any of the men at my university but because I dont feel the need to release my sexual information all willy-nilly because that information is on a need to know basis and my followers don't need to know all that sh*t! Of course some girls are gonna cry foul on the double standard thing and I understand it is unfair, but really what man of substance and character is gonna tweet about #tittyTuesday? lol .

    1. "but really what man of substance and character is gonna tweet about #tittyTuesday?"

      <del>names redacted</del> Many of the "good" men that we fawn all over and put on a pedestal and note how they are so "different" on this very site. Men like chex, women are beautiful. Acknowledging that doesn't invalidate all of their positive qualities. I really don't know whom ya'll are going to date if you eliminate a man/woman that does such things. Regardless of Twitter…don't you date fellas that have been to a strip club? Watched p0rn? Ogled a chick? Are currently chexually active? I guess every person's line is different, but a chexually alive man is a positive for me. I just need him to respect me and our chex.

      1. <blockquote cite="comment-305841">

        Starita34: Many of the “good” men that we fawn all over and put on a pedestal and note how they are so “different” on this very site. Men like chex, women are beautiful. Acknowledging that doesn’t invalidate all of their positive qualities. I really don’t know whom ya’ll are going to date if you eliminate a man/woman that does such things. Regardless of Twitter…don’t you date fellas that have been to a strip club? Watched p0rn? Ogled a chick? Are currently chexually active? I guess every person’s line is different, but a chexually alive man is a positive for me. I just need him to respect me and our chex.

        For me… its not so much WHAT they are doing… but the fact that its all over the internet for everybody to see.

        I really could care less if a guy I'm dating goes to the strip club or watches p0rn. Thats perfectly normal to me. What they're doing is not really the problem … its the fact that they want to share the details with 500 people that they really don't know via twitter/facebook. That's not attractive to me AT ALL.

        I know I sound like an old lady when I say this… and I guess maybe its because I'm a private person…but I just don't understand why everybody has to be so public about everything they're doing these days. I have no desire to talk about my s.ex life to random people on the internet.

        1. its not because you are an old lady. its because you are a private person. I agree with most of what you've posted today because I am a private person too.

      2. So as long as they hide it from you it's all good? *Scooby Doo huh?*

        Naw, I know what you mean…that really was my initial thought, but I do know what you're saying. And you hit it on the head; you're a private person. I'm not. My peoples overshare with me and I with them. I'm from a tiny town where you couldn't have a private life if you tried. Honesty just feels right to me. I'm not completely without discretion, but most of my life is an open book. Respect for my partner and his wishes is about the only time that I would not answer a question that is asked of me, I just don't have much to hide.

        1. lol… I hear ya.

          I'm from a semi-small town too, but I guess it had the opposite affect on me. I learned not to be so forthcoming with just anybody about my business because of the fact that everyone is in everybody else's business. Word spreads quickly in small towns.

          Anyhoo… I don't mind people who are an open book. I actually admire being able to be so open…to a certain extent.I just don't get why some people who are so open get mad about other people being in their business and being judged. It kind of comes along with the territory, in my opinion.

        2. I think it's the judgment that irks me, especially when it's not applied evenly. Now if you're looking to find a mate, you should be judging, a lot. Your opinion of them is the only thing that really matters, you're trying to see if they can be your life partner.

          But the judging of women at random, the unequal standards applied, the arrogance to think that you knowsomeone based off of a few 140 character statements, or that your opinion even matters, the thought that they really believe that the girl who says nothing is actually a better person because she doesn't tweet/say that she finds some guy hot (#Whore), or she's feeling herself that day (#ThirstTrap), or that she would like someone to cuddle with (#LonelyTweet), or *gasp* compliments someone (#Thirsty), or whatever egregious offense someone committed online and is being judged for…basically a man has to straight up put pictures of his wang out there weekly for him to get the same judgment that a woman gets for simply saying, "my b00bs look good in this top" or "I really miss having a man around for when I'm feeling frisky".

          I see things said alllll the time that make me wonder why on Earth they'd think that was a good idea/necessary to say, but what I eat doesn't make them ish. What's it matter what I think? And I totally do judge, and I judge women more harshly than men…I'm as guilty as anyone. I guess I just try to temper my judgment and wish that others would do the same.

          You could "follow" someone online for 30 years and still not know who/how they are. So I guess judging people off this small bit of info just rubs me the wrong way, especially when laced with boldfaced sexism.

          And baby, you 'on't know small town like I know small town lol 😉

          I think today is the first time that I didn't completely agree with all your posts. In general, we're >aqui<

        3. <blockquote cite="comment-305932">

          Starita34: But the judging of women at random, the unequal standards applied, the arrogance to think that you knowsomeone based off of a few 140 character statements, or that your opinion even matters, the thought that they really believe that the girl who says nothing is actually a better person because she doesn’t tweet/say that she finds some guy hot (#Whore), or she’s feeling herself that day (#ThirstTrap), or that she would like someone to cuddle with (#LonelyTweet), or *gasp* compliments someone (#Thirsty), or whatever egregious offense someone committed online and is being judged for…basically a man has to straight up put pictures of his wang out there weekly for him to get the same judgment that a woman gets for simply saying, “my b00bs look good in this top” or “I really miss having a man around for when I’m feeling frisky”.

          Lol…I agree with you on that. I'm not on twitter, but I see some of the same things on facebook. You're right… just because a girl doesn't say something doesn't mean that she's any better than the girl that DOES say something. And just because someone does speak on something doesn't mean that is a comprehensive reflection of who she is. I just think it all goes back to what we were talking about last week… perception. We all play some part in how others view us…

          I will say this… some of the convo's that my best friend and I have, people would really be shocked to hear… but thats the reason why I keep those convo's between her and I. She already knows me and she knows what I'm about… I don't have to worry about her judging me based off of one or two thoughts…because she knows and understands the complete "me". If I said some of the things on Facebook that she and I have talked about, I'm sure I would have gotten a lot of side eyes. But I just choose not to share that side of me with everybody.

          <blockquote cite="comment-305932">

          Starita34: I see things said alllll the time that make me wonder why on Earth they’d think that was a good idea/necessary to say, but what I eat doesn’t make them ish. What’s it matter what I think? And I totally do judge, and I judge women more harshly than men…I’m as guilty as anyone. I guess I just try to temper my judgment and wish that others would do the same.

          I agree with you on this as well. There are tons of things that people say on Facebook that I think are crazy. I'm not one of those people who will respond to their status updates and tell them how stupid I think they are for putting all their business out there. I wouldn't do that… I think thats kind of rude. Its up to them if they want to represent themselves that way. Who am I to tell them otherwise? If it gets too much for me, I just take them off my friends list. But if I'm asked my opinion on how I think people should manage their online presence, I'm going to be honest.

          I'm harder on women than I am on men, as well. I'm trying to be more aware of when I'm doing that, though.

          I came across this quote the other day… thought it was so true:

          “A woman can defend her virtue from men much more easily than she can protect her reputation from women”

  17. i don't think women should tailor their tweets according to the type of man they want. i think women should tweet according to the type of woman they are. which is why, single or not, i will never be twitpic'ing a pic of any body part that is covered by a bikini, i don't participate in any of the incredibly ignant "topics" and i definitely don't talk about the details of my love life on any social media outlet. and this is solely because i wouldn't do any of this in real life. i'm not walking around naked in front of 700 random people who in turn share it with the 700 people walking behind them, i'm not talking with random strangers about how Jay blew my back out last night, and i don't strike up conversation with people i sort of kind of know about why #shewantsthed*ck. it's just not me.

    i think us women look at a man's twitter in the same way though. it's a good filter to see what people think worthy of tweeting. now, some people do have completely different e-lives than real ones, but those people are usually aware and make that known. those people also aren't usually dating or interested in anyone who happens to be on twitter. i knew a girl that used to tweet THEE most ignant things. as soon as her boofriend (yes, boofriend) joined twitter, her tweets looked like they'd been though a hot water cycle in the washer with added bleach. pristine clean. lol. she also went through and deleted a alot of old tweets. i'd say that was pretty smart.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-305669">

      Muze: i don’t think women should tailor their tweets according to the type of man they want. i think women should tweet according to the type of woman they are. which is why, single or not, i will never be twitpic’ing a pic of any body part that is covered by a bikini, i don’t participate in any of the incredibly ignant “topics” and i definitely don’t talk about the details of my love life on any social media outlet. and this is solely because i wouldn’t do any of this in real life. i’m not walking around naked in front of 700 random people who in turn share it with the 700 people walking behind them, i’m not talking with random strangers about how Jay blew my back out last night, and i don’t strike up conversation with people i sort of kind of know about why #shewantsthed*ck. it’s just not me.

      All of THIS!!!

    2. I agree with everything you said but this:

      " i think women should tweet according to the type of woman they are."

      should be in bold!

      People say that twitter isn't real so they can say whatever they want but I beg to differ.

  18. I seriously can't believe that women are speaking out in opposition to this.

    People seem to think it's okay to have these extra-hard twitter personalities, and it's not. My mom always told me growing up that you receive the respect you command. What kind of respect do you command acting a fool on twitter? Do you think its okay to release your raunchy secrets for the world to know? If so, then don't be disappointed by the men you attract.

    On that vein, the girls who tweet all day about how "men ain't shizz" are the same ones releasing their dirty little secrets for the world to know. Hmm…and you don't see some correlation there?

    Carry yourself correctly, and eventually, things will fall into place – or at the very least, you'll provide yourself with the best possible chance of them dooing so. And don't forget that in the internet era, your twitter personality and your "real" one (whatever that means) are one and the same. It only takes one Google search for your boss to see your worldstarhiphop audition tape.

    And don't think you're in the clear just because you protect your tweets -especially if you're adding every Tom, Dick, and Harry add you.

    Bottom line: you acting low-class is only going to make you popular around low-class men. Upgrade yourself before you demand a higher caliber man.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-305681">

      Shamira:

      Bottom line: you acting low-class is only going to make you popular around low-class men. Upgrade yourself before you demand a higher caliber man.

      pow.

  19. i like twitter it's all fun for me…

    usually the the fun stops when i follow someone 1) who talks about having their menstrual cycle 2) anyone who does #twitterafterdark or 3) i personally know, who's lying in all of their tweets.

    all 3 annoy me, those ppl get an instant unfollow and i keep it moving.

    if i'm dating someone, following them would be the worst thing to do, and i wouldn't want to meet any guy on twitter bc they act so thirsty IMO.

  20. Listen ppl forget that even though your twitter personality doesn’t represent you as a whole person it does represent a piece of who you are. So if you’re on there sounding like a bitter Bi##h or on there sounding like a pop, jump off or hoe then that’s what ppl are going to think of you. It’s that simple it’s just like when you see a man and you constantly see him around a lot of women flirting or such some might perceive him to be a player off sight until they get to know him then that perception might change. Plus why do you want to tell all you business to strangers on a social network anyway. I have seen women actually tweet things like “damn forgot to take my birth control today :(" or " Damn that one was so cute…wish I could suck on that candy cane" then put lol and get mad when ppl don’t take it as a joke or take it as them being a groupie (this is a real life example). Don’t get on twitter and forget common sense it’s that simple. And same go for men b/c the thirst on twitter is real … I mean REAL

  21. "Because sometimes doing what you want doesn’t get you what you need."

    So true and applicable to many aspects of (real) life! I think I'm gonna tweet that or make it my FB status or something. 🙂

  22. If you are actively looking for love on twitter, you are losing! Let's get that out of the way. Nxt, this post highlights how people will judge you based on your social media interaction. This is no different than any other type of interaction. You know if ur thirsty or ratchet online don't be surprised if ppl judge accordingly

  23. OFF Topic

    God, please let me sum this up really quick…

    My new favorite show besides Smallville (Season Finale 5/13/2011!), is "Deadly Women" and my new favorite white b*tch is former FBI agent…

    Miss Candice DeLong[Stroke] (her last name is suspect)

    So, basically I am watching this show in the wee hours of the morning… And these two women caught my attention HARDBODY…

    Two old women (73 & 75) in Hollywood, Cali… trolling for men in homeless shelters, helping them out of their situation, paying their rent, grooming them for two years, only to kill them to collect a six million dollar life insurance policy… (as the great Dr. J would say #ColdBlooded)

    They pulled it off once, and the last dude I just mentioned, got them caught…

    My initial thoughts were…

    1. Why did I think of that scheme… (sh*t)

    I say all that to say this

    2. Because collectively as a human species most of us hold women to a certain esteem/assumption (esp. old/young ladies), and take away the information age, where we are exposing bad female behavior relentlessly

    Women can get away with alot of stuff, off of the strength that they are women…

    So, I will continue to hold women to a super high standard…

    End Off Topic

    Ooops, so this blogpost wasn't about checking me *Takes off Bulletproof Vest* & my Twitter f*ckery

    I see once I get on the side of eternal consisent beats, I will have my share of thirsty women…

    No further comments

  24. ladies men dont care what u do (tweeting crazy, sexing the whole campus, or just be wild) they dont care what you do .. they just dont want to hear you complain when there are negative reactions from the negative actions you put out there. Just like titty tuesday men love titty tuesday and they will follow those girls that put them up there nipple and all but trust they wouldnt want to take her seriously if she's putting her body all over the internet. Just like ladies would'nt take a guy serious whose on twitter aklways talking about money over hoes..blah blah or being thirsty

  25. Ironically, if this was about censoring certain information on social networks due to potential employers access to it everyone would be on board. But since this is about censoring information due to potential suitors discovery, women want to buck the system. Ladies you have the right to tweet/facebook whatever you want, but don't complain about men not practicing courtship, when you're telling the world how much you're "getting it in" without any requirements or anything resembling courtship. Men don't want women who's business is all in the streets, let alone all on the internet for the world to see. Yes it's a DIFFERENT standard for a DIFFERENT group, but that's life. Deal with it.

    You better believe that if a guy was considering "rolling out the red carpet" for you, those plans would quickly be discarded due to some unladylike tweets. The wrong tweet can demote you from wifey material to jump-off material.

    Men learn early to not talk ourselves out of potential p*ssy, ladies don't tweet yourselves out of a potential spouse.

    1. Yes because ironically if this post was about

      <blockquote cite="comment-305739">

      Rick: censoring certain information on social networks due to potential employers access to it everyone would

      be held accountable not just the women folk.

  26. Maybe I'm a jerk but I like when women put their bitterness hosting when out comes to men in their tweets. Why? Because checking them is funny as heck! They never know how to respond and sound sane.

    I dont really fall for double standards most of the time do no one gets a pass in my book. The big thing I notice is women are a lot quicker to put their relationship business out there than guys are.

  27. All of this is why I don't have a twitter account. By nature twitter is an outlet for all the random thoughts that cross your mind but I'd rather not have the entire world having access to my unfiltered thoughts. As for facebook, I have too many aunts and uncles who have no business knowing all my business as friends to not think before I type.

    However, I do think people develop e-balls and type things they would never actually say. It's as if the e-world gives people a sense of anonymity even if they're followed by/ friends with people they actually know.

  28. I don't have twitter but I have posted somethings on this website and facebook that have made me smh…. I'm single and I worry about the way people perceive me in my personal and professional life so no I will not be taking part in a questionable behavior on twitter or facebook. Also I have a rule that if I'm dating someone I do not add them to my facebook. Its not because I don't want them to see my status. No its because I don't want to see their status cause I'm a person that get turned off really fast so I want to get to know you before I past judgment.

    Also I'm more worried about my professors and employers googleing my name and having things pop up in the google search that makes them question my character. And while I could make the argument that my personal IS my personal and my boss & professor should not care about what I do after 5pm or when I'm not in class. I do care because these are the people thats writing me recommendation letters and introducing me to CEO's of non profits. So its all about my BRAND and how I choose to market it to the public.

    And for women still tweeting about ninja's aint shit. Its 2011 maybe you should sit down and think about your BRAND and the kind of customers you keep attracting and why they aint trying to buy your BRAND.

  29. <blockquote cite="comment-305669">

    Muze:

    i don’t think women should tailor their tweets according to the type of man they want. i think women should tweet according to the type of woman they are. which is why, single or not, i will never be twitpic’ing a pic of any body part that is covered by a bikini, i don’t participate in any of the incredibly ignant “topics” and i definitely don’t talk about the details of my love life on any social media outlet. and this is solely because i wouldn’t do any of this in real life.

    exactly that. I don't really subscribe to "twitter isn't real life" because Twitter is as real as I log on every single day and interact with people on a daily basis moreso than my own family and some friends. People that know me offline would not be surprised at anything I tweet except that maybe I'm hella random. I'm the same potty mouth music obsessed girly girl with an opinion about everything that watches too much tv. I also don't type anything I would have to justify to my employer or any family members. But I would also do the same when in the presence of these people.

    The whole "im not looking for a man on twitter anyway" thing is kinda interesting to me. You don't have to look to still find like minded people in any venue. I'm not looking for friends online either, as I have tons already, but I've met a few people that have grown into friends–online, so of course that's based on only our communication initially. It goes the same way with the opposite sex IMO. There is something to be said about having a filter and knowing the time and place for certain conversations. Some things just are in poor taste, regardless if you are looking or not.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-305789">

      Reecie: There is something to be said about having a filter and knowing the time and place for certain conversations. Some things just are in poor taste, regardless if you are looking or not.

      YES!!!

    2. Ima just place my cosign right here, although I certainly agree with other posts I've read thus far, particularly Muze's.

  30. I can't get enough of this name Slarack Jobama, #Classic

    Alright, now that I got a grip on the topic at hand… My thoughts

    Speaking for me… And my social media (SM) presence… I did the SM thing because mainly because

    I wanted to learn & evolve…

    Also I wanted to see how far I have come with my knowledge base… Because I believe that most of the sh*t I say is 90% accurate… And I needed to affirm that (I did, BTW)

    I could care less about what most people think (to a point!), because chances are, in the grand scheme of things, y'all don't matter in the grand scheme of things…

    And I really believe that I can't still f*ck most of the women who I struck out with the first time around

    Now, the consequences of me being all wild on-line right now, is that, when I become a TRUE grown-up…

    Alot people won't let "Adonis 1.0" die & allow "Adonis 3.0" to flourish (I have to manage that)

    When I become a B-list celeb… I might have to continuously answer for all the sh*t I did in my early twenties

    I'll deal with that when I get there…

    But at the end of the day, (as I also demand this from women relentlessly), I have take responsibility for the sh*t that happens to me, & for the sh*t I made happen especially when the sh*t hits the fan…

    Adonis

    1. And for the naive, I just want to let you know

      "Everything I do, I do it for a purpose"

      "And I am alot smarter and diabolical than alot of y'all will give me credit for"

    2. If you change your handle down the road and keep your pics out of the mix, you can start fresh. I'm trying to wrap my head (pause) around what exactly being wild is accomplishing other than the experiment to prove your theories are correct. Is there a book being written somewhere?

      1. I don't believe in starting out fresh

        I will be annoyed by people who bring up the past but will deal with it maturely…

        Unless I am trying to do something that I need to hide my past, then I will… But this is the internet… all my comments can be tracked…

        Everything is on the table, a book, seminars, if necessary…

        Wild is fun, especially when in control of your wild…

        Thanks

  31. I tweet. Sometimes it's borderline reckless, but it's me.

    I find Twitter to be a good way to learn about how I think. I'm not going to cater my tweets to potential suitors but I'm also not going to show my nakeds. But that's just me. If a woman so chooses to show her nakeds, that's her business. If she cared about potential repercussions, she wouldn't do it. I'm always up for discussions of s*xual nature but it's not about my bedroom activities. It seems that as much as I disclose on Twitter, people STILL really don't know about me. I prefer it that way.

    Throwing subliminal shots and psycho rants on Twitter will typically backfire on you. How stupid does it look when a woman bashes her "him" on Twitter and then goes back to lovey dovey the next day? People are going to side-eye.

    I've seen a girl @ her child's father and ask Twitter friends to tell him that their baby needs milk.

    Really though?

  32. If you interact with me outside of this blog on a regular basis you know that my memory is too sharp. Like i'll bring some thing up that you did and forgot about. So as for chicks bodying themselves on Twitter, I think it's hilarious. But doesn't that make Twitter beautiful? Twitter after dark is the best thing going right now.

    1) There's nothing like the sub-tweets at 3AM.

    RT @RatchetBorn1991: So rude, so f*cking rude.

    RT @Forever21born1976: I don't know why I even had kids with this dude!!!

    D @RandomJawnThatSendsMePics: So what's good with a pic?

    … I've just realized that i'm on the web application and not Tweetdeck and my entire timeline just saw that.

    2) I don't know if you guys follow some of these chicks, but it's the ones who aren't that cute, but no one will tell them that because they not that cute, but they cute enough to smash, or they got a fat a*s for a white jawn. But they will rant all night about some sh*t and you will just be like, "Why don't you just tell us who you talking about?"

    2b) I lowkey judge people who rant like that because you can tell a lot about yourself by the way people treat you. READ THIS SEVERAL TIMES LADIES!

    3) You ever seen someone put up a Twitter avi that was not becoming and then take it down a few minutes later?

    4) And the person that everybody is thinking about in this post probably won't comment today.

    5) If you have been tweeting for less time than me and you have over 80k tweets, YOU AIN'T GOT NO FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE. How thee hell do you have that much time on your hands? Literally.

    6) This is just for the fellas but if you really want to follow some hilarious ish, follow an adult film star, their tweets are hilarious!

    RT @SavanaGinger – Hard day at work, time to take a shower and relax.

    RT @TheRealJada – So trifling! That's why nobody likes working with you!

    RT @GiannaMichaels – Got an extra $2,500. I guess you could say that was overtime since it was going above and beyond what they asked me to do.

    Let me go, I will say this though. Women should not subscribe to the thought process that they can define everything for themselves. A lot of people will justify their actions by saying, "I don't take Twitter that seriously." Well, the harsh reality is, so… other people do. Don't tweet stuff about wanting to have something in your mouth and then the next day say, "People take this Twitter sh*t way too seriously!" You can't define Twitter, Twitter has a homepage, a mission and a vision, you should check that out.

  33. I don't mind de-lurking and commenting on this. Obviously, I'm pretty ratchet online. I can honestly say that I'm okay with it. Everything that Slim is said is TRUTH.COM. I'm aware my every word is being judged. Granted, I'm not tweeting pics of my @ss or talking about my bedroom encounters…half of my tweets are jokes BUT I'm aware that I'm being judged nonetheless. I think it doesn't bother me because I'm not ratchet in real life. The only people who know this side of me are my family and friends. I do not show my nasty side when I'm in the street or conversing amongst strangers/associates…like at all. I'm actually extremely reserved so for me, twitter is a fun place to let my hair down. I think my ratchetness is pretty harmless and all in good fun. If anyone wants to judge me, that's okay too. I would judge me. Judgement is a part of life. Anyone searching under my government name won't find my SFG twitter and that's how I like it. There's a reason why I don't advertise my fav blogs/twitter on my facebook. I try to keep that separate. As far as dating goes, I'm okay. I don't seem to have any problems in that area. I don't show my ratchet side until months in or I get really comfortable. If you're a friend, we can make ratchet jokes. Like I said, it's all in good fun to me. I know who I am and okay with any twitter judgement from the men folk. Maybe I'll remove the word ratchet from my twitter profile but I will continue to be myself. My tweets reflect my personality minus the filter. If I get in a relationship tomorrow, I'll have to change. Until then, I'm okay with it.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-305916">

      SmartFoxGirl: I’m aware my every word is being judged. Granted, I’m not tweeting pics of my @ss or talking about my bedroom encounters…half of my tweets are jokes BUT I’m aware that I’m being judged nonetheless. I think it doesn’t bother me because I’m not ratchet in real life. The only people who know this side of me are my family and friends. I do not show my nasty side when I’m in the street or conversing amongst strangers/associates…like at all. I’m actually extremely reserved so for me, twitter is a fun place to let my hair down. I think my ratchetness is pretty harmless and all in good fun. If anyone wants to judge me, that’s okay too. I would judge me.

      Lol! Well at least you're honest…lol! 🙂

      If you're going to say what you want to say, then you might as well own it…lol. I actually have a friend who is one of the SWEETEST guys in the world, but he posts the most REDICULOUS stuff on a regular basis. Luckily, I got to know him before I saw his Facebook page. Anyway… I know he's a sweetheart, so I don't trip… but when he complains about people jumping on him for the things that he says, I let him know that it because he sounds crazy. If he doesn't want to get jumped on, then he needs to chill out. If he wants to say what he wants to say, regardless of how its percieved… then he needs to deal with it. Judgement comes with the territory.

      1. sounds like my ex. lol. his fb statuses are just… but in actuality he's a very sweet guy. not for me. but very sweet. lol

  34. WIM I'm. So glad you decided to get personal, your stories keep me laughing! I'm still chuckling over the subway cookies and the girl with the name you didn't know!

  35. First things first, @my_level

    People should always be aware of what they put out there. Sometimes, they don't care and that's fine. But they shouldn't be surprised when people do take their internet contributions seriously or are asked about them. They should equally not care. But that's usually isn't the case. It's entertainment and people SHOULD judge you based on how you entertain yourself. Aside from things we have to do, the rest of our lives is spent entertaining ourselves and others. So women showing off their bodies don't make me want to judge them since I'm don't care to know them.

    I don't need to manually prune my contributions on any networking site since I don't OD on any of that. I use twitter for what's it's intended, microblogging. That means, the silly, the funny, the thought-worthy, making connections or simply stating the randomness that flows through my head. If someone judges me, fine. It's not like I'm going to recant any of my statements… I'm talking to myself and if (IF I accept you request to follow) you overhear, fine. I'm the same everywhere (except on the basketball court and in the sack).

    With that said, some of people's life stories are on twitter. I don't care enough the connect the dots between their statements to even make a hypothesis. My statements are usually so disjointed that people wouldn't be able to ascertain much, fine. If they can, so what? I'm not saying anything that wouldn't truly reflect how I think or who I am. With that said, I don't RT #tittytuesday (I lurk tho).

    Just like with any community, regardless of the medium of communication, people grow closer or at least grow closer to a perceived persona. In real life I'm random, artistic, fast, slow, boring, spontaneous, handsome, mean, ugly, logical, dependable, quiet, and a goof ball. Everyone wants a certain amount of exposure of some facet of themselves in some chosen context.

  36. I'm RARELY on twitter so my presence there is pretty non-existent.

    I'm me 100% of the time. I'm completely comfy with all my 'sides' in any environment…well, there's one side that I reserve for my man alone. With that, I don't need to go to twitter or FB to let one of my 'sides' loose. The classy lady I am in real life, is the classy lady I am online. And, like a few others mentioned, I TRY to function in a way that won't embarrass me or those who care about me at all times…not that I'm always successful, but it IS the goal. I'll never 'body' myself on twitter.

    But, I do see why it can be an issue for others…and it would certainly be an issue for me to see random ridiculous posts from someone I'm interesting in, dating, or with.

  37. Slim you are READING MY MIND! I just turned 25 and I am starting to think seriously about the future and where I want to be in five years. For me that includes being married (or very close to it) and with a good start in a career (working on B.S. #2 right now).

    I've realized to make this happen I have to change up my whole way of thinking and how I carry myself. I now realize what men REALLY want in a WIFE. You have to be a LADY, period. Now I'm doing a complete 180: new hair, new body, new clothes, new career … all new everything basically. It feels a little inorganic right now, but I'm hoping that feeling a little inauthentic now wll pan out in the future.

  38. I have always felt that women take "attention-seeking" too far. They think that tweetin about all the nasty-fake kinda stuff will make men think they are less borin and that they actually do have a "life". Now I actually do agree with the scientific fact that women make their decisions based on circumstance rather than consequence, blind to the facts of the after-affects.

    Telling the world about all the things they don't wanna know about you is just making points that really don't matter. After all it's hard seeing the point if the point is you. Women are always on some "the-world-revolves-around-me-tip" that men always ignore just to get laid… and after that, n***a now don't return calls after gettin a slice of that cake. Same cycle continues and she tweets about it again…and…then….there…goes…the…female…species on some intellect extinction.

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