Home About Me There Goes My Hero

There Goes My Hero

134
They Saved Each Other

For most of my life I’ve not been the type of person given to being particularly emotional. I cry at neither weddings or funerals, I rarely lose my temper, and rarely am I happy to the point of jubilation or sad to the point of depression. Feelings and emotions for me have always been completely controllable; tools I use to generate desired responses from individuals I’m in contact with.  I’ve been called ‘heartless’ more than a few times in my life, mostly by folks with whom I’ve been romantically involved; when they’ve said it they meant it not as a dig or as something hurtful, but simply as an observation.

I thought about that as I walked into the empty restaurant. The chairs and stools were turned over on the tops of their respective tables, the lights were off, the bar was empty and if I tried, I could probably ice skate on the film of dust covering the floor. Despite all of this, it looked exactly as I’d remembered. I found a broom in one of the closets and began sweeping up as much of the dust as I could. I placed candles along the bar and on all of the tables whose tops weren’t covered by chairs.  Finally, placing candles side by side along the floor, I made an aisle that lead from the front door all the way to the center of the restaurant. At the end of the aisle, I pulled down two chairs, placed them next to each other and sat. Looking around at all the lit candles, I was pleased; the place looked exactly as I imagined it would.

Sitting in that chair, I thought about how all those years earlier on a Friday night not unlike this, I sat in the exact same spot fiddling with my phone until she came and sat down next to me. We chatted for an hour or so and as she left I made sure to ask for her phone number. I would not have believed you if you told me then that a few years later I’d be sitting in the same spot at the same restaurant, waiting for her to come sit down next to me, but that this time instead of asking for her phone number, I’d be asking her to marry me. I especially would not have believed you if you told me that this would be possible despite the fact that the restaurant had recently closed.

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But here I was. Two weeks earlier I called the restaurant to make a reservation for dinner; at that dinner, I planned to propose. But when I called I got the voice-mail. I called back a couple days later and still, no answer. Finally, after a week of talking to voice-mail, I decided to go there to make the reservation in person. I was shocked to find that Mad28 – the restaurant where I met my soon to be fiancé, had closed. The awning was still there, and the inside was still as it had been, but it was dark and empty. In the window hung a realtor’s sign that said “space for rent” with a phone number. I was disappointed, but already moving on to plan B. Our first date had been to Justin’s (Diddy’s old restaurant) and so I figured I’d carry out the same plan there instead. On a whim, I took down the realtor’s number. Monday morning came, I called the realtor and, of course, got his voice-mail. I left a detailed message saying that I’d met my girlfriend at this restaurant and wanted to propose to her there, but that it was now closed. The next day, he called back. To my surprise,  he said he thought this was awesome and that he wanted to help anyway he could. He called the building’s super, convinced him to stay late to open the doors, let me do my thing, and then lock up when I was finished. God is good.

Finally, Friday arrives and everything is in place. I told her we were going to a friend’s birthday party and to meet me on the corner of 29th and Madison Ave to grab something to eat before the party. My phone rang.

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Her: Hey, you said 29th and Madison right?
Me: Yep
Her: Ummm, I’m here, and I don’t see you.

She was clearly annoyed.

Me: Oh, my bad, I’m actually one block down … just walk down to 28th.
Her: Urrgghh, o.k.

I hung up and figured she would walk down the block, pass the restaurant, remember that we met there, look inside, see all the candles and then realize what was going on. Not my baby though, blinded into obliviousness by her annoyance, I watch as she walks right past the restaurant without even flinching. My phone rings.

Her: O.K. I’m on 28th and Madison … where are you?
Me: You just walked past me, walk back up.

I hang up the phone before she can respond. Again, I watch as she angrily storms back up the block, right past the restaurant.  Picking up my phone, I call her.

Me: Yo, you just walked past me again.

Again, I hang up before she can respond. Sitting in my chair, I watch her as she walks toward the restaurant door, then she stops, looks inside and I see it happen. I see her realize that this is where we met, and that this is where she’s supposed to be. All annoyance instantly vanishes and I can see the nervousness begin to creep from way down deep inside her all the way up into her face. She enters, walks down the aisle of candles and sits in her seat next to me just as she had in our memory. Our words to one another from here are our own so you’ll have to forgive me for not sharing. All you really need to know is that I got down on one knee and she said yes.

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After that, we grabbed a quick bite to eat at a restaurant not too far. While eating I asked her if she wanted to swing by Justin’s and have a drink since we’d had our first date there and since it wasn’t too far from where we were.

We got to Justin’s, walked through the door, and just as I planned, all of our friends and family are there to share the moment with us at our surprise engagement party. It was an awesome night.

My last post was about a woman for whom I’ll always be a villain. Today’s post is about being a hero. And while I felt like a hero putting together such an awesome proposal and surprise engagement party, the true hero is my wife. By saying “yes” that day and then eight months later saying “I do,” she saved from my villainy all the Nicole’s I might have known and disappeared on; and she saved me from the abject life one leads when they’re completely disconnected from their ability to feel. Marriage has its ups and downs. Sometimes I’m great, and sometimes I fail. Sometimes she’s great, and sometimes she fails. And while I’m still generally closed when it comes to emotions, she is the conduit through which I am able to experience joy, pain, anger, disappointment, fear, hope, and sometimes … love. Without her, these would all be things I could conceptualize but never really touch or grasp. She saved me, she is my hero.

Do you have a hero in your life? Or maybe you’re someone’s hero. Doesn’t have to be related to a romantic relationship, could be your mom or dad or younger sibling. Or maybe it was someone you loved for a time. Someone that got you through a rough period, or just made you happy. Feel free to share.

See y’all in two Fridays … till then:

stay low and keep firing.

Comment(134)

  1. U r my freakin FAVORITE writer on this blog!! Point blank period!! I can visualize all of ur words.. it is as if I'm watching a movie! Mrs MOST is one BLESSED woman! Bravo sir!!

    1. what I meant to say:

      He is my fave too!!! And yes Mrs.Most definitely is blessed, I hope to be half as much blessed one day

  2. Your whole first paragraph had me quickly go from "Here I am in church again" to "Wayment… how the hell this dude keep doing this? Am I being followed?" I'm happy I kept reading, though. That's a pretty damn awesome engagement story. Pimp move all the way around.

    1. Haha… it's like that sometimes. But I appreciate your non-vicarious appreciation of my words though. It's always a good feeling when someone knows where you're coming from in a real way. Makes me feel like I'm doing my job.

  3. LOVE…LOVE…LOVE THIS POST. The hopeless romantic inside of me feels all happy & mushy. Had to hold off the start of tears while reading it (not ashamed to say reading this made me all emotional). Love, what a beautiful thing.

  4. One word: Awesome! I can picture her being livid about having to walk back and forth up that one block trying to find you lol Simply beautiful sir.

    1. Right!?! Then she sees the candles and the restaurant just for two and just melts into his hands… *sigh* Ish you see in movies man…

      *starts a full on ugly cry*

  5. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

    I started to recognize the story about the 3rd sentence into paragraph 2…and my heart just melted. What an awesome story and segue from last week.

    What a glorious love letter to Mrs Most.

    I'm still waiting to be/find a hero, but stories like this make it easier to wait. I loved someone for a time and he certainly had potential to be my hero, he simply wasn't up for the job. He's still a hero…just not mine.

    Beautiful Most. Just beautiful <3

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-312312">

      Starita34:

      I loved someone for a time and he certainly had potential to be my hero, he simply wasn't up for the job. He's still a hero…just not mine.

      ^^^^^^ This…. *breaks down in tears*

    2. <blockquote cite="comment-312312">

      Starita34:

      I'm still waiting to be/find a hero, but stories like this make it easier to wait. I loved someone for a time and he certainly had potential to be my hero, he simply wasn't up for the job. He's still a hero…just not mine.

      As man, I have to say great quote. Usually we're often relegated to the role of "villain" if we fail to fulfill the role of hero each and every time for each and every person.

  6. i can't even remember my own personal hero stories after reading this beautiful account of your ❦❧engagement❧❦… it was soooo ❤warming… ahhh ♡

  7. Wow, your stories always get me! I am jocking your writing style. That was a beautiful proposal; I know she still feels warm whenever she thinks about it.

    My mother is my hero. She taught me so many things about life. She never allowed me to do anything short of my best, and pushed me when I thought I could go no further. As a kid I felt that she was being unfair to me with her "unrealistic" expectations of excellence. Now I cannot thank her enough for showing me that mediocrity is not a becoming feature for anyone.

    It is kind of crazy because now that I am grown, she has revealed to me that I am her hero. She expressed that she marvels at some of the things I have been able to accomplish, and continues to push me despite my surpassing her visions for me. I just want to continue to make her proud.

    1. Parents are the best! Thanks for sharing your story. Nothing feels better than seeing pride in your parent's eyes. 🙂

    2. This is awesome. I think it such a beautiful thing when a mother and daughter have a great relationship. I hope I have a daughter, and I hope her and my wife are as close as you and your mom … but I also hope both of them love me more…

    3. lol. i totally forgot to respond to the question!

      without a doubt, my hero is my mom. as i become an adult and learn stories about the beginning of her life with my father, the wedding, the marriage and the aftermath of his passing…i know that every piece of strength i have in me comes from her.

      (i also get my stealth-ninja-subtle gangsta moves from her as well. lol).

      i do not. cannot. will not ever (and The Rock means NEVER) take her for granted.

  8. This was such an awesome post Most. I just heart you sir! Ok, so I just want to know did Mrs. Most cry? I know you are not sharing proposal words but were there tears?

    My hero (heroine) is my grandmother. She raised 9 children on her own when my grandfather (the rolling stone he is) left to soak his wild oats. Raising 9 children in a country like Belize is no easy feat (no such thing as food stamps). She is an amazing woman and I have learned a lot about what perserverance through adversity is really about. My grandfather eventually wanted to come back home but even if he didn't I am told she had everything under control. I think I may have to give her a call soon.

    Thanks for the feel good post SBM fam…keep up the good work.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-312319">

      BP:

      This was such an awesome post Most. I just heart you sir! Ok, so I just want to know did Mrs. Most cry? I know you are not sharing proposal words but were there tears?

      Yeah, she did. After she sat we talked for a good while. She was fine during that, still think she was kind of unsure what was happening. Once I hit the knee she broke down. She's a crybaby in general though.

      Love your story about your grandmoms. Grandmothers are some of the most unsung heroes in the world. Where would the world be without grandmothers. I was raised by mine, and if not for her, I might be a career criminal.

      Y'all think I'm jokin but I'm kinda serious.

      1. Awww, I love it. Nothing wrong with a cry baby though homieI say that because I am one too especially when the tears are warranted 🙂

        Say that again about grandmothers! They do not get enough credit…but Most a career criminal? You just got the sideye sir.

  9. OMG!!!!!!! I hope there is a man like u out there for me. I'm a hopeless romantic and your proposal was absolutely perfect!!!!! Your wife is a very lucky woman.

  10. Um..petition to get SFG posting again so that I can vicariously demand a love button? Throw a Pause in there if you must.

    All three individuals I've had a range of significant emotional investment in since starting University have been similar to, but not quite as "bad" as you. Although I had moments when I wished that they were different, there's something to be said for having the affection of someone who doesn't lavish it freely. As for me, nonchalant as I can be, my anger & other buttons can be activated at a moment's notice. The only hero I can claim in my life would be my mother, but I'm too lazy to expound on that. Suffice it to say that she's one heck of a woman, wife, mother, and Christian.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-312322">

      NaijaSweetz:

      All three individuals I’ve had a range of significant emotional investment in since starting University have been similar to, but not quite as “bad” as you. Although I had moments when I wished that they were different, there’s something to be said for having the affection of someone who doesn’t lavish it freely.

      You know, I don't know if I would recommend a man like me for a woman I cared about. Most of the folks I know who are like me are that way for some unresolved reason. And usually, whatever that is, it's not particularly healthy. I think I've found ways to compensate for my lack of emotion and that kinda makes me able to be relatively successful in marriage. But, I think most folks like me are a little too damaged to make a long term relationship work.

      Great comment about your mom though – she seems awesome.

      1. She really is. Oh, and believe me when I say that I'm not trying to promote that kind of a relationship. I eventually got to a point where I decided that my needs are better met with someone more passionate. I've been concerned about all three guys at some point, although the last one has recently gotten married and started a family. I simply meant that you sometimes get an extra glow from knowing that the affection you're getting is not something that this individual gives freely. At the end of the day, though, it wasn't worth a lot of the turbulence that came with the journey. I'm really happy for you that you found your heroine, and that she sees in you a hero as well. I'm definitely rooting for you guys.

  11. I don't even know what to say. I have to come back tomorrow when I'm not so emotionally raw

    *slinks into a corner and cries 'self to sleep*

      1. i saw that years ago and discovered that photog is in my school network of folks who know folks. i kept saying i was going to get him to do my wedding. lol. that engagement was super sweet.

        1. Muze

          if I remember correctly, didnt the guy like move in with his sister to save up to propose to her that way, and all of their family and his frat were in on it getting his fiancee' to the hotel by telling her it was a party for her brother or something??

          Anyways YES you sooooo should have him do your wedding, Lucky You!

      2. <blockquote cite="comment-312335">

        QueenBinthestreets:

        *hits Like button*

        Lol me too girl me too, have you ever seen that proposal “Remember the Ritz”?

        Cried the whooooooooole way through, I think the couple might have been on Oprah??

        Eh … son looked like JJ from Good Times with that afro. Made it hard for me to take the whole thing serious. I might be hating a little… not sure.

        1. he did!!! lol The whole time I'm watching im thinking hes a very odd looking man.. #noshade

        2. Lol, I was hesitant about posting that, I was like "I hope he doesnt think Im tryna still his shine with that link" but I figured Id share.

          But the guy does look "creative", but you love who you love

        3. LOL! Listen love haters! Everyone is not supermodel fine! I was super sweet 🙂
          Perhaps now that he has his hero, she's got that hair updated too…#UpgradeHim lol

      3. I need some kinda warning when you're purposely trying to make me cry! That was so sweet and the music was perfect. I love that even though all their family and friends were involved, the engagement itself was just between them and God.

  12. That was really nice of the realtor to make that situation happen. We need more kind hearted people like that in this world. What your wife did sounds like something I would’ve done. Walking up and down a block like, “Where is this guy at? If he hangs up on me one more time…” Lol…that part is too cute and too funny. That was a well thought out proposal and engagement party. Nice job you heroic, heartless villain…With your wife and this post.

    1. The realtor and the super who worked late are the unsung heroes of this story. I gave the super a huge tip for working late, and tried to get in contact with the realtor but couldn't. Was gonna invite him to the wedding … lol.

      The story was too long to include this, but, the realtor was so down to help that when he called me back he said that if the super wasn't willing to work late, that he would meet up with me himself, give me to keys to the restaurant (despite that fact that if anyone found out he could get in huge trouble) and then I could just give him the keys back at some point that evening. And people say New Yorkers are rude and indifferent…

  13. It's always when your ready to proclaim the death of romance. that you read something like this and put the black outfit away. You just save a few cynical women from themselves. I'll wait a little longer before I give up on romance and embrace bachelorette-hood. Notice I did not say spinster-hood because I'm too sexy for that cat-lady doo doo.

    *applauds Mr&Mrd Most*

  14. aww. this is nice.

    my fav things about the proposal were the fact that you kept hanging up so she could still discover it on her own, and that you two were alone. nice, intimate, romantic proposals for the win.

    1. I was being nice in the post … she gets annoyed really easy… like… super quick.. She was hot. The fact that she was so annoyed made it better though because the sudden change from annoyance to "oh sh*t what's going on here" was really dope.

  15. Good Morning,

    I know p*ssies are going to be gushing this morning after reading this post… It definitely is a magic moment…

    The first thing I thought when I read the title is "How has Adonis been a hero to others…"

    Hmmm…

    First, I remember my mom telling me a story about my dad… How he bought her a Scrabble game (I'm ok at Scrabble)… I think a typewriter was thrown in there too…

    But anyway, when the relationship fell apart… my dad turned into an Indian Giver… (I think that is the correct term…)

    He also had a saying which I playfully tell women… because I love to hear their response…

    "What's Yours Is Mine, & What's Mine Is Mine" LQL

    So, although I still need to get the other side of the story from dad… It made me think to myself…

    Well, I had a rule, that when I give gifts to people, tangible or intangible… that I will not expect anything in return… no strings attached…

    It is so weird sometimes because when I do good things for people, THEY have to remind me that I did that for them… I just do it and kinda it goes to the back of my mind & I forget… I think that is how things should be when you give people a gift…

    Also… I help people for my well-being moreso than for theirs… That is another topic altogether…

    Again, I tend to forget about the good things I do for others… So, I will just go with the stuff I remember…

    I used to work for Boar's Head in Brooklyn, NY (I think in 2008), and they like to hire convicts (I have no criminal record, but brother hooked me up), so they can work LONG hours, & make $8 an hour… or better…

    So, I don't know how the conversation came up between my mother & me, but she said I should buy her a computer… So, I did…

    I think I use the computer more than she does… But being that is it hers, I forget I am the one that bought it…

    On a more serious note, of course some of you know about my poor attempt at trying to win a girl's heart on V-Day…

    https://www.singleblackmale.org/2011/02/04/girls-a

    But I did something more important, at least important to this particular girl… (Names have been changed)

    Now, I am not a party guy, or a nightlife guy (don't drink, don't smoke) and my brother (Brian), & his friend (Kelz) got together with my brother's girlfriend (Alice) & her friend (Wendy)… And they were drinking in the basement… I was upstairs (don't know what I was doin')

    Well, to make a long story short, (WARNING… this is where it gets real… )

    Alice & Brian, I think were fuckin' in one room (that is what GFs & BFs do in serious relationship, have drunk s*x LOL)

    Wendy, who was a virgin at the time, was chillin' with Kelz…

    Kelz tried to take advantage of Wendy while she was drunk… (Basically trying to get some unconsensual oral chex)

    I don't remember the situation vividly, but I remember Wendy acting HYSTERICAL… & crying all over the place…

    So, at first she wants me to take her down the block to my friend Ty (someone who I play Madden 2008 with, I was nice with it too…)

    That was my only mistake and I KNEW it…

    My friend Ty is an as$hole with women, very masculine & aggressive (thinks that every other woman is a b*tch, except his mother, sister & girlfriend…), but of course he had no shortage of women trying to sleep with him…

    I take her to him, and he, as simply as I can put it… told her how stupid she was, and how it was her fault, and basically acted pretty sh*tty towards her (and he ended up sleeping with her sometime in the future…)

    [Maybe one reason why I look down on the Max's of the world & the Spectacular As$holes they love to entertain, but want to get mad at me when I act like an as$hole] #Shots…

    [Max, I still love you though… But I judge you to the men you have dated, not the men you say you like to date…]

    So, she is more hysterical & hurt at the fact that the man she was into, was a villain when she needed him most…

    So, my whole MO from the beginning of this situation was to get this girl HOME… That is all… So, after she got violated by Ty, someone called her a cab, and she asked me to stay with until she got home (it wasn't far from my house…)

    So, once I got her home, which was like 2-3 in the morning (which TWIsM81 says it is still night-time), and forgot about the whole thing…

    When she sobered up, she told me how wonderful I was, and how I did a good thing, and how Kelz was a douche (she didn't press charges, how most s*xual assaults go)

    But I didn't really think anything of it myself… I just got pulled into a situation I could have did without…

    The lesson I learn from this whole ordeal… Is that as a man… when a woman asks you something which you KNOW in your heart is not the right thing to do… DON'T DO IT…

    That is how Adam got swindled in the Garden…

    It really hurt to see her get verbally smacked down like that by Ty… She was very vulnerable… But what is worse is that I knew how Ty gets down…

    Adonis

  16. Hmm, I am about to cry…because I never really thought about it..but, my hero is my ex-husband's cousin…..(I got her in the divorce)….she's my cousin now! lol….The reason SHE is my hero is because….when my husband moved our family to philly so that he could continue to grow in his career…I supported….then the same year we got here…he met a woman,,,and acquired a Mistress…two years later we divorced…..his family literally turned there back on me…they stopped calling and everything…..(his family and I were very close before)……his Mom never called to say how you doing….they vanished…the only lone person willing to go against my ex…was his cousin……she was like "you aint done nothing to me"……"girl, get out of this house, ride with me"…..now, remember, I am totally depressed…and he has convinced his entire family to pretty much cease all contact..but, ONE……she pulled me out of the doldrums….we are still friends to this day….it's been 7 yrs and she is still a dear friend…and what I consider to be a "hero"…because she didn't conform, she followed her own mind and she saved a young lady, such as myself….from literally falling apart.

    I would like to add….my family was also very supportive but they all live in DC….his cousin made an unvearable situation in Philly bearable…and she was kind and supportive when none of his people were….she get's hero ranking for sure.

    1. Queen! No crying homey… you're a G.

      But, I am happy that you had someone that had your back during that trying time. Can't imagine what that would have been like. Sometimes, God puts folks in your life for a reason. Thank him for her.

    2. wow..thanks for sharing..now i teared at this…my hero's are the friends who helped me learn that is okey to get and give hugs, to say i love you, to be vulnerable..not not act like i have it all together..to be human…am for ever grateful for showing that it is okey to feel

    3. WOW! I am in Philly now… my sister just graduated from Temple (go sis!)

      I could not imagine moving here with a hubby and then going through what you did. Its great you had at least one person close to support you.

  17. Most, this is so beautiful. 

    **takes a tissue and dries my eyes**

    You need to write a book or something.

  18. Don't know how that stops you from being a villain. Doing one woman right does not make up for all the ones you've done wrong. How many women are worse off because they met you. If the answer is more than are better off..well..you're def still a villain.

    1. I think you missed the point. I'm not the hero in the post.

      Aside from that, for the most part I agree with your logic, so long as you agree that you don't know me, and you don't know what impact I've had on all the women who've known me. Deal?

        1. Exactly! And the post was actually an easy read. I can't even imagine the arguments/debates these individuals have with their mates if they can't even take the time & effort to properly process info from a 5 minute blog post, smh. No shots fired, seriously. This has happened one too many times to be directed at a specific person, I'm just saying reading is fundamental.

        2. <blockquote cite="comment-312399">

          TrackStar:

          I’m just saying reading is fundamental.

          looool

          Sounds like shots to me, not that I disagree

    2. how i interpret it?

      is that everyone can, has been, will be, has the capacity to be BOTH a hero AND a villain.

      but most people don't always own up to both sides.

      it's easier to point fingers out than at oneself.

      1. "Like" a billion times.

        Lemme put $20 on your Windex bill BBS, that glass house must be a b!tch to keep clean.

  19. *sniff* – you made my morning with this Most. To answer your question, my father is hands down my first hero. Although he's gone now, he is the prototype. My second hero is my husband. My soldier is not prone to showing alot of emotion (unless the Heat is playing or he's had too much to drink, then he starts telling anyone who will listen that I'm the love of his life). He hid my engagement ring in a box of Texas Toast, told me that he was making dinner then asked ME to put the pasta on and the bread in the oven. So of course I'm complaining about him to my girl on the phone while doing it, and as I'm getting ready to toss the box in the trash I hear this "thump, thump". I swear y'all like to piss us off just a little bit before springing the question, lol.

    *Begins knitting booties in preparation for the Most Interesting Kids in the World*

    1. Shout out to your husband on the proposal. I'm raising my virtual glass of champagne in salute to the fellow comrade.

      But yo, I'm so squinting right now, trying to see the twins. What are their sexes, names, all that? I feel like we need to add a photos section to the site so that readers can share photos and such.

      Mrs.Most is a twin and we're both hoping that, when the time comes, we get the 2 for 1 special.

      1. I have two little girls, Chloe Louise and Simone Marie. And did you say you actually WANT twins?!?! Witness me cackling and rocking back and forth in a corner, delirous from lack of sleep. Seriously, I'm somewhere between Ms. Sofia-fresh-from-jail and the Mad Hatter right about now, lol.

        And I would love to see a pic section on the site.

        1. I LOVE those names Teflon! If I wasn't scared of getting cut I'd ask you for one. LOL! ((hugs))

    2. *Begins knitting booties in preparation for the Most Interesting Kids in the World*

      I can't knit but I will bring the wine & cheese and keep you company.

      1. Girrl, messing around with you and that wine the booties gone be shaped like old school chicken nuggets with no holes for the feet to go in, lol.

        1. Hahahaaaa.

          BTW love the their names, especially Chloe..

          Me. Bias Much? Well Yes, Yes I am :o)

  20. You know what? THIS gives me hope. What a beautiful story. We're lucky to be able to read your posts every other week. I like how you bring balance to healthy relationships, and own your responsibility in them. Good or bad, we all play roles and affect the outcomes of our situations. You and Mrs. Most are beautiful people and I wish you nothing but continued success and growth!

    My mom is my hero. To an extent it's cliche, but she really sacrificed a LOT for me to have the opportunities that I've had. Because of God's grace I've recently been able to bless her back.

  21. This was really beautiful…

    I'm so happy for the relationship that the two of you have. You both are very lucky 🙂

  22. Awwww! Great post Most! That proposal was bomb. You def have a knack for story telling (that's why I had trouble believing that one story, you know…when I laughed )

  23. Damn, Most you never cease to amaze me!!

    *LipsQuivering*

    That proposal was just……… *Deepsigh*

    BEAUTIFUL.. JUST BEAUTIFUL!!!

  24. LOL at how more than 15 people disowned the rest of SBM for you Most, on some You were always my favorite ish. You are indeed a pretty dope writer though. This was a beautiful post. I don't think I have a hero. Or at least, I'm not trying to think too much about it. Of Overthinking is disastrous lol. Of course people have saved me from certain situations. Calling them my hero, ehh.

    P.S. I don't think I even have a favorite. Lol or maybe I do & you all know more than I do.

  25. This is an extraordinary story. Thanks for sharing. I'm such a romantic, I started crying darn near uncontrollably when I got to the end. Beautiful.

    My heroes are def my parents, each in their own very unique ways. They've supported me through every high & low in my life and I know that there is absolutely no way I could've made it without them. I'm thankful for them each and every day.

  26. This is an extraordinary story. Thanks for sharing. I'm such a romantic, I started crying darn near uncontrollably when I got to the end. Beautiful.

    My heroes are def my parents, each in their own very unique ways. They've supported me through every high & low in my life and I know that there is absolutely no way I could've made it without them. I'm thankful for them each and every day.

  27. this story made my eyes a lil wet. just a little.

    great storytelling. I definitely wouldve responded the way Mrs. Most did walking up and down the street, and I wouldve been elated by such a surprise! VERY NICE.

    <blockquote cite="comment-312386">

    Shi Town: I love that even as writer, you still honor the private moments.

    absolutely agree with this too.

  28. Do I even need to tell you what a dope story this is? *looks at previous comments* Nope.

    I'm with Queen on this one, you've helped me remember that romance is still alive and to believe in marriage again.

  29. oh man.. most…

    just when i thought..you couldn't outdo your villain post…

    what i appreciate most about your writing is that it is honest, with no hint of 'pandering' that male bloggers often get accused of when writing a post about heart from the heart.

    silent, quiet kudos to you sir…

  30. I have to get my awwwww out of the way…ok now,

    This is too sweet–like a fairytale. Love it.

    I know exactly where that restaurant is and the entire area. Your writing is so vivid, I felt like I was in the moment, with you guys.

    My hero is my bestfriend. She is in a very long distance relationship but remains 100% committed.

    A few months ago she "taught me a lesson" by making up this story about cheating on her boyfriend and I fell for it. Funny thing is no one believed her because they know her character and she'd never do that. I actually did believe it…In the end, she told us it was a lie but she wanted to teach me that if you have certain morals you should never ever compromise them; remain true to what you believe in. She says he may not be faithful but at least if we don't last I can leave the relationship knowing I kept my word. Yeah she's definitely my hero. Very well disciplined, trustworthy and faithful.

    Thanks for sharing and Once again…awwwwww. 🙂

  31. I'll let the ladies emote and wax romantic about the proposal. This was the most interesting part of the post today to me.

    <blockquote cite="comment-312394">

    TMIMITW: And while I’m still generally closed when it comes to emotions, she is the conduit through I am able to experience joy, pain, anger, disappointment, fear, hope, and sometimes … love. Without her, these would all be things I could conceptualize but never really touch or grasp. She saved me, she is my hero.

    I've noticed this to be true in my serious relationships. In my current relationship, we are good together not because she is like me, but because she complements me. I'm very logical, she's very emotional (of course, she's a woman (ducks tomatoes)). I experience the full emotional spectrum through her because I empathize with her. I am overly rational and logical to a fault, and many things that I would likely not care about or even notice, I experience vicariously through her.

    1. You quoting that line made me realize I missed a word in that. It was supposed to say "She is the conduit through WHICH I am able to experience …

      I swear I proofread this like 20 times and still didn't catch that. It's way better with the which.

  32. <blockquote cite="comment-312385">

    BP: I LOVE those names Teflon! If I wasn’t scared of getting cut I’d ask you for one. LOL! ((hugs))

    Thanks, BP! And no, you cannot have ONE, they come as a set! And you can borrow both of them the weekend after I loan them out to Most and his wife. We'll see if they still want twins after that, lol.

    1. Tef you crazy! I think she was asking to borrow the names not the actual children! You really are going crazy.

      But yea, they are more than welcome to come stay with Uncle Most and Auntie Mrs.Most. lol.

  33. I'm going to let the women have it today. lol

    Just wanted to stop by and commend you on a well written post, Most.

    "Yooo that rhymed. I should be a rapppper." – The Wood

  34. Now that the wave of estrogen has subsided a bit, let me answer the hero question from a non-romantic standpoint.

    My parents are my heros. They're far from perfect, but they always made things work and kept our priorities in check. They were the quintessential "mean parents" that cared more about your development as a human than being your friend or your immediate happiness. We were always poor, but showered with love and somehow credit card debt Christmas always happened, family vacations were taken, and our basic needs were met.

    They just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary and I couldn't be more proud. Their resiliency, dedication to God, pursuit of a strong family, and unwavering, unconditional love for each other and their family is something that I hope that I emulate.

  35. Now that I'm done being emo about the proposal, I can get serious.

    Before I got t the proposal part this line resonated with me:

    Feelings and emotions for me have always been completely controllable; tools I use to generate desired responses from individuals I’m in contact with.

    In a way I envy you, because I've always been super emotional and I fell that people have taken advantage of that fact a few times.

    So rather than using emotions to control situations, my emotions can be used to control me. I'm trying to work on that.

    I can't say I have a hero but I definitely have many positive influences. Both of my parents and each of my sisters show me what it means to be successful. Whether it's family life, careers, or school. All of my family members have this gift of juggling their problems gracefully and still being able to give a helping hand. It's actually kind of daunting having that much amazingness around me, I have a lot to live up to.

  36. Lurker..unlurking…..booooy stop. This was awesome. Awesome I tell you. This is the sweetest story ever. I've been married 17 years tomorrow…I shall share this with my husband and my girlfriends tomorrow at dinner.

  37. Well written my man. I have nothing much more further to say about the story other then a job well done.

    My father is one of my heroes hands down. The positive attidute he has on life no matter how well or how bad things are at a certain stage is an attribute I always greatly respected.

  38. THIS RIGHT HERE!!! (Said in my best Tamar Braxton voice) whole post is going on my visual board. Right next to the check made out to me for $10 million dollars #JimCarreyStylePlusInflation *grin*

    Thank you, my week is now complete. Namaste.

  39. Wow….

    Amazing post, thank you for letting us in to a very intimate moment of your life. I just ended a relationship with a man that reminds me exactly of you (or at least how you describe yourself). My EX, was unable to show the kind of emotion and support that I needed in order for us to take that eternal, "walk down the aisle". Moreso, he felt that he couldn't provide what I wanted (little did he know he already gave me everything I wanted). I think you are correct in saying your wife is the hero, she has a tough job and I commend her because I know how oftentimes lack of emotion and feeling can tear away at the fabrics of someone who loves you. But I think you owe yourself more credit than you give. Choosing to spend the rest of your life with your wife is the ultimate decision to "feel" something, that connection, that relationship, intimacy and comfort. This made me cry!

    My hero is my mother. She is my best friend, the only person in this world who knows EVERYTHING about me and doesn't judge. Love her to death.

  40. I tell Most this all the time in real life outside of the Matrix, that stories like his insoire all dudes, no matter how cynical, to still believe in the power of marriage and love and all that good ish.

    Writing is self explanatory.

    Great post and great week here on the site!

  41. hey man, dope post…like Hugh Jazz…the following was deep for me:

    TMIMITW: And while I’m still generally closed when it comes to emotions, she is the conduit through I am able to experience joy, pain, anger, disappointment, fear, hope, and sometimes … love. Without her, these would all be things I could conceptualize but never really touch or grasp. She saved me, she is my hero.

    because that is what i look for. i mean, outside of being cute or what not, that's really what i desire. and i salute you for finding your hero.

    Me, i got no heroes, i'm not a star #Bawse, i'm probably a Dr. Freeze until i find someone willing to open the icebox.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-312362">

      TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld:

      I think you missed the point. I’m not the hero in the post.

      Aside from that, for the most part I agree with your logic, so long as you agree that you don’t know me, and you don’t know what impact I’ve had on all the women who’ve known me. Deal?

      Actually i didn't say whether u did or didn't – I asked – and for the smart asses below I didn't skim the post – I actually read it and was responding to this: "By saying “yes” that day and then eight months later saying “I do,” she saved from my villainy all the Nicole’s I might have known and disappeared on; and she saved me from the abject life one leads when they’re completely disconnected from their ability to feel"

      The idea b/c his wife said said freed him "from my villainy all the Nicole’s I might have known and disappeared on;"

      But my reading and comprehension is good thanx.

      Try again.

      So by your own admission there was more than one Nicole – which is why I said treating one woman right doesn't negate all the ones you may have done wrong. AND if you've left more worse off than better when your ways parted – you're still a villain.

      1. you do realise that the key phrase was "might have"?

        which describes …"potential"

        by his own admission, in his dating future, there were potential 'Nicoles'…

        nevermind, you right.

  42. I like how the post itself is reflective of the event that it describes. Thoughtful, detailed, well-timed and handled with care. She clearly inspires you which is a very special component in partnerships. You are both blessed to have found each other…

    My hero is my Father. He taught me at a very young age that confidence and belief in my abilities are paramount to success. He would spend hours with me working on my jumpshot. He told me I was beautiful (even when I went through that awkward 11 year old phase where my teeth were too big for my face and my hair was offensive). Him and Moms sacrificed everything and they did it with style. He suffered through abuse and lived in poverty but fought every day so that I would never feel what he felt as a child.

    That's heroic to me, to give others the love that was never given to you. To be brave enough to put an end to a cycle.

    And that fool can dance his ass off.

  43. Very moving post! You done done it again…

    I don't know that I have one hero. Several different people have "saved" me at different points in my life.

    This post made me hopeful…and sad. Hopeful because I'm reminded that this level of love and devotion is possible. Sad because I don't see me being "saved" by a true hero anytime soon.

    Prayerfully, I'm wrong.

  44. *comes out from behind the bushes, hands in air*

    Well, Most you have pulled me out of e-stalkerdom like a true blog negotiator. Nice post and congratulations!

    Ironically, my relationship hero (I consider my parents my ultimate heroes) is also my villain. He has a personality much like your description of yourself and although I would not consider him heartless, can be cold. I hit a point in life where I swore I would not love anyone else until they practically begged me to give it to them. Then he showed up. He taught me how to laugh, even at myself. He understood my humor and got my quirks. I can be emotional too and he knew how to check me when I let them get the best of me like a man. He never disrespected me for it, he just let me know it was not necessary. Because he was so reserved with his emotions, he showed me how to appreciate the small things, doing things just because I wanted him to. He showed me hurt, that a man can and does apologize, and he taught me how to forgive. He doesn't even know it because I have never told him, but for all of this-I love him.

    I wear my cape everyday, but only a few see me after I SuperMan-style step out of the telephone booth. I have and am still bringing it out for him, but maybe he is color-blind to my cape. Maybe he will one day see it. I hope he will allow me to be his hero. Until then, I will continue to pray to the One that teaches me how to wear my cape and what it means until my villainous hero or the man that can see it clearly comes to me.

    *flips up hoodie and steps back behind the bushes, hoping not to get served with an SBM restraining order*

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