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The last time I was here, I gave a young lady some advice on her toking boyfriend. In case you missed it, he’s a cannibus smoker, she isn’t, and after several months of dating, she has now decided that she can longer tolerate it. Conventional wisdom dictates, if you’re in a relationship with someone that is doing something that turns you off, you break up with them. Unless of course, you think you can alter their behavior.
Women thinking they can change or mold a man into “the perfect man” during the course of a relationship is probably the biggest mistake they can make, and probably is an underlying reason for so many divorces. People choose to ignore early warning signs of incompatibilities and red flags that either become the reason or lay the foundation for future breakups/divorces.
You can’t change a man. You can’t change your man. You can’t really change any man. For those of you who met a man, and think you’ve had something to do with any changes he’s made in his life, I’ve got a nice bridge for sale and some land in Florida you may interested in as well. At a certain level, men can be like spoiled children, the more you tell them not to do something, the more they’re going to want to do it. If he gambles, he’s not going to stop. If he cheated on his ex to get with you, he’ll probably cheat on you at some point. If he went upside the last woman’s head, at some point he’s going to hit you too. He changed because at some level, he came to the realization that he had to make this change, and it was in his best interest…or he has a near death experience.
I’m not saying men can’t change. It’s just that men will change when they’re damn good and ready. Unfortunately, many of these desired changes don’t happen as fast as interested female parties would like, if they happen at all. Some of these changes come with maturity, and if you’ve ever spent significant time around a man, you know we don’t mature overnight. All that being said, women do have the ability to force a man to change (giving ultimatums and such). But when you have to force a man to change, he’s going to resent the fact that he basically got punked into doing something he didn’t necessarily want to do. When you’re in a situation when you have to force someone to change, negative behavior, you’re best bet is just walking away rather constantly fighting domestic battles.
Hey, even Obama promised change, and look how that turned out. Gitmo’s still open, Geithner kept his job, there’s no public option, and Osama still got clapped, probably using info obtained at Gitmo. He ain’t the first tall, lightskinnded negro to lie to you about changing, and sure won’t be the last. Yes, I said lightskinnded.
Whaddya think, am I off base here? Can women really make a man change? Is there a difference between initiating change and forcing change? Anyone out there try to change their man? How’d that work out? How long should you wait for change before you just walk out?
More sweeping generalizations for your reading pleasure,