I have a confession to make, the readers really drive content on the site. As a writer at SingleBlackMale.org, I can tell you most people read a post one time, but they’ll read the comments many times over. And in our minds we’re able to classify our readers into several categories, so it’s no surprise to me that I believe that many of our readers are believers in God and also are sexually active. I’ve spent a lot of time discussing the topic over the years, it’s been about eight years since I first sat down at a campus forum and discussed, Can you love God and sex? I think it’s possible, but really where does that conversation go, and how can we really support our love (not obsession) for sex within our respective religions?
Many of our religions preach no sex before marriage, but I’ve always thought that rule was kind of out-of-date. I think about that from time to time, I mean back in biblical times people were getting married at age 16 and starting families. Nowadays people might wait until their thirties in order to pick a spouse. I’m not sure that God intended for us to wait all that time. I mean, what’s that saying, “God knows my heart”? I’m pretty sure that as the Man on High looks down upon us mere mortals he has given it some thought, “I never really planned for these guys to wait thirty years for sex.” I also think that previously maybe the good Lord was looking out for us, he didn’t want us to have so many babies running around because we didn’t pick a spouse and had no contraception devices. Well, now sex is a recreational activity that you can engage in and not have to worry about childbirth if you take the necessary precautions.
Does that mean that it’s an out of date request by God that we wait for marriage? As I read the bible as a youth I noticed that the word of God was changing with the years. There was the scrolls, and then the Old Testament, and then the New Testament, then if that wasn’t enough there several texts that never made the cut for the Bible. And let’s think about that for a second, do you remember how after Biggie and Tupac died we listened to all those tracks that never made the album and said, “There’s some good stuff here”? Yeah me too, and that has me thinking, maybe there was a few books that got left out because they said, “Actually if you agree to be with one woman on an exclusive basis that’s a marriage and you can go ahead and have sex.” I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
But that’s neither here nor there.
I think this is very important to me, “Thou shall have no other gods before me.” That’s an important verse in this conversation, so I would always advise that people not let sex come before God. And for that, I have to commend the amount of promiscuous women who wake up on Sunday mornings and find their way home, shower, change and make it to 11AM service to praise the Lord. I make it clear that I don’t think people should obsess over sex, and I truly believe that’s where we go wrong as a people. We go through great lengths for great sex. But, do we go through great lengths for God? That’s a rhetorical question, you don’t have to answer that.
On the flipside of this conversation, I look at people who make the decision to not have sex because of their religion and I’ll be lowkey honest, I judge them. That’s not fair, that’s just the way it is. I believe that society has its ways of trying to force people into sin. The same way we encourage cheating, the same way we chastise people who are virgins into their 20s. As I’ve gotten older I’ve stopped negatively judging people who make that decision, it is a prudent one. They’ve got a “take no chances” approach to their salvation and that’s worth commending.
And for the rest of us…
We hope that our God is a forgiving one, if not, then I say, where’s that number for the adult film business? If in fact, our God has said that if you sin and keep sinning there’s no chance at heaven, we might as well go balls to the wall at this point. But that speaks to where I stand on the issue, I think that all sin is bad, but everybody sins so all we can do is await judgment day and see what happens. There won’t be much to say to God, it’s not like we can deny we ever knew that it was a sin, but at the same time, maybe if we are good people and we do our best to follow the path all will be forgiven. At least, I hope so.
Off the record, I’ve got this vision of judgment day and the pearly gates. I think there will be a short line for those people who sinned less and a long line for those who spent their whole lives in sin. There will be a spectrum because “all have sinned and come short,” so you can’t expect everyone to be lumped into the same group to decide who gets in. I pray that the waiting area for heaven doesn’t look like the DMV, and looks more like an upscale club. After all it’s supposed to be a grandiose time!
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