Home Featured 3 excuses against working out that women need to overcome

3 excuses against working out that women need to overcome

106
Tryna lose 10 pounds, preparin for summer...

Fitness is one of my passions in life. I’ve been working out seriously since 2008, and have made excellent strides. I am not yet where I want to be, but I remain health conscious, I’ve improved my health 700%,  and I’ve remained active. I’m far from a fitness guru, but people will ask for advice and opinions on different areas of fitness. I even write about my fitness journey and provide articles over at my personal blog Streetztalk (and Yes Queen T it’s me writing about this, lol). I notice that a lot of women may have some aversion to working out, and even if they want to get in shape, they offer up a plethora of excuses and a defeatist attitude. I try to combat those excuses, and help them to see that it only takes effort and desire to change your body. Here are 3 common fitness excuses that women have used against going to the gym:

I don’t want to look like a bodybuilder
This is the most comical excuse. Whenever I suggest that women should lift weights along with cardio, I get a side-eye. They say that it’s either too hard, or they don’t want to be bulky and brolic. Ladies, the diesel women that you see in the magazines… it took them YEARS to get there (and often times a lot of steroids). Weight lifting burns 3 times the calories and fat that running or any other forms of cardio burn. You need to lift weights to tone, strengthen your muscles, build lean body mass to help burn fat, and to tighten up those trouble areas. Its the ultimate ends to a mean to service your fitness goals. You don’t have to lift super heavy, just enough to feel a burn, and gradually increase as you feel comfortable. Be ahead of the game and reach those goals faster!

See Also:  Work it out - 3 ways to get in shape before the summer

I look good how I am now, fcuk it!
This is cool, but then why do you complain about the way your dresses fit? Why are you upset that you got a “pooch”? Why suggest that you desire to change your body, then use “self esteem” as a crutch? Of course if this doesn’t apply to you then so be it, but for those that notice they do it, or their girlfriends do it, you can’t have it both ways ladies. By no means am I trying to project my own “wishes and influence” on you to do things to your body that you don’t want to do, I just want to point out the fallacy in believing you look good, yet pointing out your flaws. It shows that you are only content in word, not thought. It isn’t easy, but a little hard work and dedication is all it takes to see a change!

I don’t want to mess up my hair!
I feel you on this point. If the movie “Good Hair” or watching my sisters and mother’s plight over the years has taught me anything, its that women, especially black woman, struggle with haircare and hair management. I know that you don’t want to sweat out that new perm or hairdo after paying beau coup bucks for it, but ask yourself if the body that you desire isn’t worth a little sweat?

See Also:  Battle of the sexes: The Power of the good good

Your personal health and body composition shouldn’t have to be sacrificed for a hairstyle. I know there are ways around this issue. Unless you are famous/rich, I don’t think you get your hair done daily. Manage it during the week so you can get that workout. Make sure to get a workout in before you get your hair done for whatever reason or event is upcoming. I could be wrong, but I think having braids in your hair makes it easier to go to the gym and not worry about ruining your hair. Natural hair women shouldn’t have this issue either. A majority of you look fine already without the elaborate hairstyles, so make it work so you can achieve your fitness goals. Let me also say that working out isn’t an excuse to do something radical with your hair!

We all make excuses when things seem too difficult. It’s how we respond and overcome those excuses that define our success. I love helping people get focused about health and fitness and remind them that we are all human and make mistakes, but fitness is something that we can control 100% and change our bodies for the better. I hope the sisters will see some of these excuses and either laugh or cosign, and make that decision to get to the gym. Fellas, you ain’t exempt either! It’s officially summer now, which is actually a perfect time to work out, as you have many more options with the warm weather. Trust when I say, I need that motivation as much as ANYONE!

See Also:  15 Reasons Your Relationships Keep Failing

Ladies, what are some of the excuses you or your friends have used against working out? Do you think these excuses are valid in any way? How do you overcome the doubt to get motivated to get to the gym?

 

Comment(106)

  1. Man listen. My friends are the most "I wanna start working out" group of females youd ever want to meet.

    Came with me ONCE.

    ONE TIME.

    Ive been going to the gym for damn near 3 years. I had a perm, a short cut and now have it natural. Many different hairstyles and my hair was always on point.

    Its not a reason, its a poor excuse for laziness.

    The only one that ever made sense to me was "its difficult to make time".

    9-5ers have it rough- i know and agree but we make time for what we want to make time for.

    Get yo ass in the gym and stop crying about your stomach, b.

  2. Working out completely changes a persons' lifestyle! Ladies the rewards of being fit and working on your sexy are endless! Is worth it! 🙂 I would also say, stop saying "I will start soon" just start! Working out was the best thing I have done for myself and It will be the decision you make!

  3. Personally I work out basically every single day… and not no "weak girly" workout either. I talking bootcamp stuff. I've been an athlete my entire life and LOVE my physique. I couldn't imagine gaining weight! Oh my that's a sin! One of my biggest fears in life lol. We all know that hot girl from high school who is now that fat girl from high school lol. I will NOT be THAT girl ever!

    As for the hair issues…. wash it, wrap it, braid it up, wig it out, do something! That is not an excuse to gain weight.

  4. I guess the number one excuse my friends give for not wanting to work out is lack of time. However, as with anything in life, you make time for what you want to make time for. They sure as hell find ample amount of time to do activities not conducive with losing the extra pounds they claim they want to shed though…..

    1. Word. I'm new to having a consistent workout routine but my excuse was time. So one day I said, Excuses are the tools…. got my lazy a$s up, joined a new gym, and just go. I'm happy there so it makes the workout routine much easier. Even when I'm tired, bitter, whatever, I just go do what I gotta do and peace out. I now go 4-5 days a week.

      1. Yes for this! "excuses are the tools of the incompetent…" I think everyone should learn this and recite it daily, possibly hourly. That's awesome that you've dedicated time to making yourself better even if you don't necessarily feel like going.

        sp

  5. The hair thing is serious business – I just started a serious work out regiment back in October and looked a H.A.M the first 2 weeks (thank God for working from home) but my ex was DONE he was used to my hair being on point. My hair is natural I actually get a press when I wear it straight so as soon as I work out I have a half fro. To wear it in its natural state takes A LOT of work and product just to sweat it out again the next day. So I got a weave which he HATED not because it didn't look good (it wasn't too far from my natural hair) but he hated fake hair. In any case he is an ex (for other reasons) and I have to do what I do because being in shape IS NOT A GAME!

  6. I usually lurk on this site, but this post seemed especially relevant for me right now. I've been an athlete (track and field) for most if my life ad I realized something… I hate working out! I hated practice, waking up at 6am some days to get out on the track. BUT at the end of the day, I loved the competition. That was my motivation for staying fit, not to be sexy, not vanity, but because I wanted to be the best athlete I could be, although ain't no body like a track body!

    Now as I try to get I shape for summer, I recognize, exercise for vanity ia futile. The pounds will always come back. So I've taken to finding a competition to get me motivated once again. So I'll be running a half marathon in October. And I realize I'm so mch more excited to get in shape for this competition, than I'd EVER be to lose 5 pounds.

    As for the lifting weights, if you don't squat in the cage, you ain't doin nothin. And no, you won't look like a man, you'll have a nicely toned body from weight lifting. Also, as women we Lise bone density over time and lifting helps build bone density! Women should also do some push ups! One of the best upper body workouts you can do plus it'll keep your bust perky!

    Let's get it ladies!

    1. Can I just tell you I hate push ups but I have to do 200 of those mugs daily UGH! plank and on the wall. Did I say I hate it!

    2. <blockquote cite="comment-314014">

      IAAJ: I hate working out! I hated practice, waking up at 6am some days to get out on the track. BUT at the end of the day, I loved the competition.

      I feel you on that… I hate running but I love finish lines so I enter as many 5K/10K's as I can to give me something to train for.

    3. I absolutely HATE working out too! But there's different ways to stay in shape and fit without doing traditional workouts. I tend to take a lot of dance classes since i took dance up until high school. Dancing will make your body insane and will workout muscles you didn't know you had.

      All in all, just find something active you enjoy and make time to do it. hey even having sex frequently will keep you in shape and your man will enjoy it too!

  7. I'm going to go ahead and throw this bone out there even though you didn't ask:

    After a few bad experiences and witnessing more than a few women from high school/college go from elegant to elephant over the years, WIM is about 125% positive he could not seriously date or marry a woman that does not consistently work out.

    I'm also going to offer a preemptive rebuttal because I know it's going to be asked… "Yes I work out. 5 days a week."

    *exits stage right*

  8. Heart disease, "suga", and obesity are just a few things that can be prevented with proper exercise and diet. (And they are also things that are taking a disproportionate toll on black people.) Those excuses are small things when compared with long term quality of life.

    Hopefully, Streetz, you've given sisters/women the inspiration to move beyond excuses.

  9. I've worked out off and on for a while now and I've heard all of these reasons plus

    1. it's too hard

    2. if men don't like me the way I am then eff them

    3. Men are still checking for me so I don't need to do anything

    I never understood this one. Especially since ninjas are thirsty and will tell you anything to smang. As long as men are in their face they feel they don't have to do anything. But it's not about that. Why are you letting men be the determining factor of you being in shape or not?

    This topic has always amazed me. I stay in Detroit. A city that until recently had at least a million people and was 85% Black. How is it that in the city and its bordering suburbs I mostly see White women working out and not Black women? At the gym I'm currently at I see mostly White women. And when I see some Black women at the gym they don't go hard like White women.

    DISCLAIMER: I've seen sisters that go HARD in the gym. There are a few at my current gym that I couldn't come close to hanging with. So not all Black women are like this.

  10. I was an exercise physiology major in college and plan to go into sports medicine. . .exercise is my life! I love it and I try to get as many people to jump on the bandwagon with me, but it is way more difficult than it should be. Here are some common excuses:

    – "I don't like the gym." Some people are intimidated by the gym, especially the weight room. For someone who hasn't been to a gym before, it can be confusing for the first few times. And I know as a woman going into the weight room alone, it took awhile to be comfortable having the men in there constantly looking as if I don't know what I was doing. So I understand the hesitation, but this is still an excuse.

    – "My weight is in the normal range, I don't need to exercise". FALSE! Skinny does not equal healthy. I feel the need to repeat that: skinny does NOT equal healthy. Being skinny doesn't mean your blood pressure, cholesterol or glucose levels are fine. Exercise at any size helps control all of these, as well as just making you stronger and improving your cardiovascular fitness. I am not a small girl, I never have been and never will be, but I know girls half my size that couldn't run a mile in the time I can. Time to stop focusing on weight and start worrying about overall health. Of course being at a healthy weight for your body is never a bad thing, but it's not as simple as that.

    – "I don't like cardio or weight machines." I love this one. Most gyms these days have fitness classes for a reason. Don't wanna run? Fine, take spin or cardio kickboxing. Would rather dance? That's what Zumba is for. Hate lifting weights? There are fun resistance training classes out there; I take PowerFlex at Ballys. Got knee/ankle/back problems? Aqua aerobics are for you. My advice is always to find what you like; that way it won't feel like such a chore to get your workout in.

    – "I don't have time." This one is hard because people really are busy these days, but I think it is also an easy excuse. Exercise is not a priority for most, so they put it at the bottom of the list. I can't say what someone's priorities should be, but there are ways to fit it in if you really want to. If you have an hour long lunch break, why not go for a walk instead of sitting in a restaurant chatting? How about working out before work, so being tired after a long day won't matter if your workout is already in? If your kids are outside playing, play with them! There are ways to just move a little bit more.The simplest way to get started: wear a pedometer. Try to take more steps tomorrow than you did today. It's a small thing, but Rome wasn't built in a day. You have to build up to it.

    I could continue, but this is long enough already. Sorry for the rant, but like I said, this is an interest of mine and my future career. As black women, we need to start combating these things now so we don't pass on our bad habits and health to our children.

    1. "FALSE! Skinny does not equal healthy. I feel the need to repeat that: skinny does NOT equal healthy. Being skinny doesn’t mean your blood pressure, cholesterol or glucose levels are fine."

      Exactly! I have to tell people this all the time.

    2. cosign.

      Especially the last section. Not everyone can get it in with a steady workout schedule after/before work when you work schedule flexes. It's about being active throughout your day. Do you really HAVE to take the elevator to go up/down 3-5 floors? Hit the steps! Walk to across campus instead of drive. Make sure you have some comfortable shoes. I bought my dress shoes BECAUSE they were comfortable walking in. When was the last time you just turned on some music at home and just danced or did your own yard work?

  11. I TOTALLY agree with this post. I was a woman who made those excuses, until a guy told me that I should fix my body first then worry about hair. He was right! So for the last five months I've been working out regularly and hair hasn't been a problem. I have def seen results, but not quite where I want to be, but I know that now I'll never go back to where I was

  12. I can't stand excuses for not working out. Why? Because its as simple as finding something you enjoy doing. Zumba, The Micheal Jackson Experience game..something that gets your heart rate going. Don't fake yourself out by taking walks b/c 9 times out of 10 people aren't walking fast enough to get their heart rate up. Get moving! Who cares if your hair sweats out! What's worse, having your hair sweat out for an hour or having a coochie pouch?

    And I c/s WIM, I couldn't seriously be with somebody who didn't workout. Epecially the delusional dude who doesn't think his body is "that" bad b/c he played sports in college. Stop reliving your glory days and hit the bench press my n*gga. Furthermore, he wouldn't understand my hustle and I can't be with a dude I put to shame in the gym.

    Fitness is a lifestyle for me. I grew up in a household where my parents worked out….and at 50 years old they both still do. I plan on passing down the same attitude toward health to my future family.

    1. walks actually work..its my main form of exercise.as long as i do it 30min or plus..still eating right though..they kinda go hand in hand keeps the kilos down..swimming rocks too works the whole body

      1. I never said they didn't work…my point was that while walking you must increase your heart rate. So if someone is lesiurely walking around the track while talking on the phone…yeah, like I said…they're not really doing anything.

  13. Humph – well let me be the first one to raise my hand and admit it….I don't work out!! Yes, I know I should. And yes, I will. Bally's is still getting my money, lol! Here's where I'm at right now:

    – I've always had a body that I could be proud of. Never a size 6, but always rocking that 10-12 with the hour glass figure, C cups and donkey booty. How you think I snagged my man, lol?

    – I was an athlete since high school. And yes, I count being captain of the pom squad as athletic. I was also president of my college rugby team and I can say that the workout was comparable, if not the delicious violence. My team sports worked me out enough that I never had to think about "working out" but still had a flat tummy and toned muscles.

    – I have (almost) 6 month old twins. Needless to say, they did a number on my body. I didn't gain that much weight, but nothing is the way it used to be. I've always been a natural hour glass, now I'm a natural pear. Those stomach muscles have been streeeetched and they're not bouncing back. I've never had a pooch til now. Tragedy.

    – My husband is an Air Force fitness leader and works out erry day as part of his job. Erry. Dang. Day. That bamma is buff.

    – I work full time and take care of a home. Did I mention I have infant twins?

    So yeah, I can honestly say I've never looked this busted in my life. I need some suggestions. And don't mention early morning, because I'm up getting the girls ready for school by 5:45am and there is noooo way I'ma be up earlier than that, especially when one (or both) decide that they want to giggle and baby talk until 10pm when their bedtime is 7:30pm.

    Suggestions?

    1. Teflon, I feel you…it's really hard to get back into shape when you have one baby let alone two…I would start with some walking..put those babies in a stroller…and get out there and speed walk that stroller around the neighborhood…put some weights on your ankles..and power walk…that will work up a good sweat and get your heart rate up….I would start there..and maybe, go and get you some fitness tapes…I used to run fitness tapes out….its a way to work out without leaving home…and some are really fun and easy to do…I don't know what they have out there now but I used to do the Paula Abdul tapes ( a loong time ago) and Donna Richardson..clearly this was eons ago..but, do a search and see whose out there now making fitness tapes…….but, don't feel like you have to rush the weight off..it took 9 mths to get it on…it will take that and a bit more to get back to where you want to be…but, I am sure you will in time……

    2. @Teflon Temptress

      Have you tried changing your diet certain foods make us gain weight on keep weight in our stomach area as women which makes it harder to bounce back. Also if you’re not already doing this; stop drinking soda and juices with a lot of sugar in it. Since your daughters like to say up past their 7:30 bedtime , put them in the stroller and take a long walk with them around your community or go to the track and do it or if there’s a huge hill where you live do that, 30-45 min trust it will help you tone up, also try buying gym equipment to put in your house nothing big something like a mini stair master, my mom has one she just pops it up by the bed and does about 30 mins a night on it will help work your lower abs.

    3. Teflon, when I had my sons and I was home with them (my 2nd son did a number on my body, it was unreal) and I would go jogging every day. I would wait for my husband to get home and he would watch the babies while I did my 2 mile run. I would also do crunches. You will feel so much better if you can get out and about. Don't wait to drive to Bally's, just get out there, you will see results pretty quickly. Good luck!

    4. Hey Tef!

      I would say focus on that diet. Diet is 75% of everythign and if you aren't eating right, it will only compound you being sedentery. Ill let the women whove had kids assist in those workout tips, I would say try to mke time however you can and even do stuf at home if you're home with the babies a lot. A P90X or Insanity or one of those would do the trick

    5. Streetz is correct, start off with the diet.

      Starting off, walking with the girls will at least help you get some conditioning back after two weeks or so, since you're in no rush to get in shape. If you're going to work out at home, all you need is some adjustable dumbbells, a stability ball, some cables, and some Reebok steps (or other platform). There are several resources on the web for workouts (although few of them are free). That should give you enough equipment to hit the lower body (back squats, ball squats, step-ups, different variations of lunges, hip thrusts) and upper body (chest presses and flyes, shoulder presses and raises, dumbbell and cable rows, crunches, stability holds for core).

      If you have any questions on how to do the exercises, ask me (feel free to e-mail me at [email protected]), or probably even better, YouTube search the exercise with either John Romaniello or Eric Cressey's name. I recommend those two because there are a lot of trainers putting crap on YouTube, and I know they actually do the exercises correctly.

      1. Also dont sleep on the 8 min abs dvd … I used that in high school while I was on the swim team and trust your tummy will look great after.. just use it 4 times a week. Only will take up 8 min of your time then you can do whatever you want to do after that. also stay awaY FROM LOTS OF FRIED FOODS… bake meat as much as you can or eat fish

  14. Real Quick…

    – I would rather have a woman who had a legendary diet over a woman with a worked out all the time (outside of the bedroom…)

    – The best way men could help women work out & get to a healthy shape is by

    – Leading with love (Go to the gym with her… Eat the foods you would like her to eat…)

    – Don't date out-of-shape chicks (Enabling…)

    Mostly any reason not to eat well, & exercise well is BS…

  15. I am all for working out..but, why does it have to be at the gym? I had two gym memberships…one at Bally's in DC years ago…and another one at LA Fitness here in philly…I went faithfully eveyday…..I really love the step classes and the camraderie I developed with the other gym goers……I will tell you I thought the membership fees are a bit pricey…..I just really don't want to lock myself into anymore memberships at a gym…..I think you can work out at home (or wherever you want)…I think its about keeping yourself active and not falling into a sedentary lifestyle……My job is a work out all by itself…it requires me to be on my feet 80% of the time..constantly moving around..and walking up stairs(I work at a school) I break up alot of fights (these kids are on hormones or steroids or something they are big and solid) I maintain my weight pretty good because I stay busy moving….my boys keep me active as well…so, I am all for remaining active and healthy but the gym is not necessary,. in my opinion….

    I would like to know what specific exercises I can do to increase my glutumus maximus…and tone my thighs….I just want it tighter and rounder. lol.

    I knew it was you Streetz….I was like here he goes again with this fitness stuff…lol…but, I think, its good..you keep reminding me of what it is I need to work on with my body and health….

    1. If you want to work out at home and increase your glutes you need the Brazilian Butt Lift DVD. It's serious tings. <del>Get at me on twitter and I'll hook you up</del>.

    2. Run the bleachers at your local high school and do lunges up them as well. The weight machines at the gym took Tush to the whole nother level. I swear by them. I don't know how hard you go w/ working out, but sprints help too.

      1. <blockquote cite="comment-314035">

        LaLaBakir: Run the bleachers at your local high school

        I am always looking for a place to have a 'Rocky' moment. I will have to look into the HS thing.

    3. Its funny because I stopped working out for a long time because i hate gyms but now that I have a trainer, he trains me outside at the park which has some great trails and a track. Also in the winter months (when its too cold) or when it rains we actually do things in the mall before the stores open. You should see me running up that damn escalator its a SITE! You can do it girl!

    1. 150% of the time that you are in moderation, we actually know and are working on it. Not you as in QueenT, but anyone who makes a comment saying, why am I in moderation?

  16. I've gotten a bit soft in the middle, and I'm not trying to get diabetes or high blood pressure.

    I've officially decided that this is going to be "The Summer of Pain". I've knocked the dust off my P90X DVDs and I'm checking out places that teach Krav Maga and/or boxing. I took some Tae Kwon Do in college, but haven't kept it up. I've wanted to learn a martial art for a while, and it seems like a great way to get in shape too.

  17. It just so happens that I'm in a phase right now where I'm overcoming all excuses and working out regularly; but for most of my life I have used these and many other excuses to get out of exercise.

    I can definitely understand the thought process behind these excuses and I can even see a tiny bit of validity in some of them. Especially the hair thing – there are days when I have a morning presentation and I just have to skip my workout because I don't have time to deal with the after-effects. For some women, a serious workout means you have a serious problem on your hands and no amount of braids or sweatbands or ponytails is gonna solve it.

    At any rate, if you really want to work out you'll find a solution to your real and imagined obstacles or just suck it up and do it. Pause.

  18. Working out is a great way to release stress. Ladies the gym is not the only way to work out if you haven’t quite stepped up to the gym level yet start off by doing a lot of walking. Walking is the best workout you can get and it helps strengthen core areas. MY mother and me walked for years (were from New York and didn’t have a car for many years) trust she dropped all that baby weight quick fast and in a hurry when she had me and my little bro 10 yrs later by walking. Remember ladies being thick and juicy at 22 will be tubby and sloppy at 35 if you don’t keep it toned and sexy. I think some women get intimidated by the gym b/c they think ppl are trying to force them into being a size 2 and that’s not the case even if you a size 16 a toned size 16 is way sexier than a sloppy size 16.

    @StreetzZ and the 4th biggest excuse I hear is girl I gained all this weight when I had my son/daughter its just baby phat … your children are 16 and 17 … its no longer baby weight..so hit the gym

  19. I don't like going to the gym to workout so I won't. When I'm there I get bored, people are always asking "why are you here,you're already thin" and then I stop going….eventually. It wasn't until this past October I started working out regularly and now I do yoga and kickboxing.  I'm thinking about trying that Brazilian Butt lift (I've heard good things from Max via twitter). For me it's all about variety and not being stuck in a gym. 

    Personally, I think black women should suck it up and workout. Do something that you enjoy and grab a friend along. If you get discouraged just think about how much sexier you'll look in that dress, those jeans and etc. Although it's tough it's definitely worth it.

  20. Ohh SBM how I have missed thee! Great post Streetz…I def had this problem. And I agree with the poster who wrote about competition. That can be a huge motivate for women. For me…the only thing that finally convinced me to get back in it is the fact that I'm starting in Corporate America soon and most of the women in midtown look like they work out on their lunch break smh.

    1. "and most of the women in midtown look like they work out on their lunch break"

      Yep.

      My firm offers gym membership discounts to all employees to 3 different gym franchises but I refuse to carry 2 gym memberships and honestly my lunch break/hour isn't enough time to get in a good work out, by the time I get changed/warmed up 20-30 mins has gone by already.

  21. Honestly, there are some people who just do not enjoy working out. I am one of them. I never feel exhilarated or triumphant. I feel annoyed and bombarded. I have tried going to the gym several times and did not enjoy it and then came MJ Experience. I play it all the time so I am working out w/o feeling like I really am. If you do not have one you need to get one. If you do "Bad" "Rock with You" and "The Way You Make Me Feel" it is great…don't judge me 🙂

  22. Cosign Streetz

    I am a certified gym rat…..what he said is true…..the women who look like men are on steroids. You can work out 7 days a week and you won't look like that.

    Cosign Lauryn

    Skinny does not equal fit. I can easily tell if someone is slim because they workout or slim because they starve themselves. Or they are just naturally slim. There is nothing sexier than a gym body. People that are just naturally slim or small….it's not the same.

    Cosign Queen T

    I'm cleaning out a room in my house now to make room for some cardio equipment. I already have weights. I have gym memberships but I am realizing it gets harder and harder to find time for the gym. I need more equipment at home. Once I get the cardio machine I will have every thing I need to do my whole body except for my back and legs. I can do squats but I don't like to. And the back is just hard to do unless you are at a real gym. Same with legs.

  23. That bodybuilder line gives me a headache and I don't mean that in a good way. Maybe it's because I ran track, but I appreciate women who lift weights…properly and understand the importance.

    1. Word. Weight-training is my favorite part of working out. I never understood the correlation between weight training and bodybuilding– they aren't the same at all.

  24. Okay, I'm going to stop lurking just for this post.

    I work out now, maybe 3-4 times a week minimum depending on what my schedule looks like. It took me a while to get here because I didn't like working out…I still don't…it's just become a habit…I moan, groan and drag my a** to the gym. My dad was a firefighter and became a personal trainer/fitness instructor for the last 10 years or so. My mom works out every day in a sports bra and yoga pants and she's almost 53. My little brother played football and ran track. Me? I was just the girl in the band with the big butt and big legs. That was all good until I got out of college and was no longer sweating it out every afternoon on the practice field. It took awhile for me to get back in the groove of things and I'm still getting there.

    So for me it wasn't about hair, or time, or whatever….I felt like the black sheep..a fat a** if you will, in a house full of folks who woke up running and doing push ups. And I was intimidated as all hell. How was I supposed to go jogging with Mom and she's out there half naked showing off and I feel like a chub standing next to her? Or with my dad on these old school calisthenics about to kill me (his favorite phrase is "it's heavy aint it?)?? My mother being judgmental didn't help with her "are you really going to eat that?" comments or "Is that in your weightwatchers points?". It took me a while to realize that what gets it for them, doesn't work for me, so I took them all especially my mother out of the equation and I started doing all kinds of stuff…Zumba, Night Club Cardio, Belly dancing, pole dancing, line dancing…whatever would keep me interested…I even started taking my dad's classes (to my mother's chagrin…because she is convinced that he 'don't know nothing')…and lo and behold it worked and it's still working…

      1. LOL, Thanks.

        Too bad I went to a PWI in college…so the alums weren't checking for me like that!

        No, my dad isn't Tony Horton…Tony is inspirational….my daddy is just your typical run of the mill militant personal trainer…yet his clientele is 90% melanin deficient and they LOVE him.

  25. Hair maintenance is the number one excuse I hear, specifically the "I don't want to sweat my perm out."

    Sidenote: I used to wear relaxers, and I swear I've never said such nonsense. And I played basketball 6th thru 11th grade. Ladies, maybe you can help me, but can you really, honestly, sweat out your perm, or is that an urban legend, literally and figuratively?

    Anyway, I exercise because it makes me feel good. Insanity, running, P90x/weights/resistance training keeps me on my toes because I'm never doing the same workout everyday. I abhor running on the treadmill, but I do it when the weather sucks. Most days, I workout twice a day, and I bully myself if I miss my evening workout. I'm working on that, though.

    I hate excuses. Ladies, you don't have to go to the gym. Login to Beachbody.com, and find a workout that you can do in the privacy of your own home. Don't let the thought of "I don't like the gym" keep you from moving. Also, if you live in any city in this country, I know there is some outdoor space where you can workout, whether it be a park trail or a HS track. One of the things I love about Raleigh is the parks systerm, and the greenways that cut across the city. They're great for distance running or distance power walking. Also, don't discount walking. Walking is still a workout, you just have to do it longer, and more often. But its much easier on your knees, and you can do it for hours. Most people can't run for longer than an hour, but those same people can walk for at least 2. And with a faster than normal pace, you will definitely feel like you've worked out.

    Another thing that sets people back is trying to compare yourself to the next people. For some, its a motivator, for others, its a real downer. Which is why I suggest getting outside, or using a workout DVD, video game, etc.

  26. This past weekend, my little sister gave me a list of supplements she uses to help decrease fat/increase lean muscle. She's a dancer (#no pole), and her body is sick. Her dedication to working out in her off season, so she can stay in top shape, is my daily motivation. Girl is a beast! Its only been 3 days, but I'm excited to see how it all works together.

  27. I ain't even gonna lie, there are days I don't get home until after 7pm and I am too exhausted to hop back in my car and drive 6-7 miles to my gym, so I save my gym time for the weekends between 10am – 1pm (different classes and such). During the week I just grab my 2 furbabies, harness them up, and take them outside for a "Power Walk" don't underestimate the benefits of walking at a fast pace.

  28. Please do not shoot the messenger.

    I think way too much emphasis is put on working out these days and many people don't realize that it didn't always used to be like this. I think that offers some insight in some of the ways that people are going about this issue all the wrong ways. Pre-1980, working out wasn't anywhere near as widespread as it is now. Of course athletes and bodybuilders went to the gym, but outside of them no one was really showing this addiction to working out so much. There was those Fonda cassette tapes back in the day and the next thing you know people were running marathons. A lot of times people put emphasis on fitness and don't realize that they're actually addicted to fitness and looking for more and more ways to get a fix.

    Looking deeper, people in the 40s through the 80s weren't even as fat or overweight as people nowadays, and they didn't work out. Which leads me to believe that something is up and we're going about fixing it the wrong way. People were more fit in 1960 than they are in 2011, but in 1960 that person didn't go to the gym, but in 2011 if you don't go to a gym you're frowned upon.

    Of course there are reasons for this; people are lazy, diets are horrible, even the food has been messed with (adding hormones and all types of chemicals), active and healthy lifestyles aren't encouraged anymore. I was looking at an article about the breast size in America and how it used to be on average about a B cup, but now it's a full C. Moreover, most Black women I know have D cups. And while i'm discussing this with someone I had to tell them, that those percentages are off, like way off, that means people are getting fatter. And does diet and the fact that kids don't play anymore contribute to this? YES. It's very obvious that the amount of kids eating junk food has risen, they don't go out and play like we used to, they aren't encouraged to play sports or do anything to keep them from ballooning out of control. And by the time they reach their mid-teens they have bodies that people didn't used to have until they were 21. (Funny note, that Mase song just came on in my head, "Remember that girl you said was 19, she was not 19, I followed her to school, that's how I know.) But that's real, HS girls is thicker than snickers these days.

    I guess what i'm trying to say is that instead of pushing the gym or working out down people's throat we should be looking at ways to do preventative maintenance before corrective. Maybe we shouldn't be feeding ourselves what we are eating. And we need to get HONEST with ourselves. Like people say, "I eat healthy, but chocolate is my one guilty pleasure." I doubt most people know how chocolate and other harmful things manifest themselves in your body making it hard for you to lose weight. Almost like I told this woman, you know that when you drink alcohol, your body processes alcohol first and turns all those fats away and they go into your body. That's why you go to the gym everyday and work out and you lose like 5 lbs a week, if that. It's because you have to stop drinking alcohol to lose the weight. They don't want to do that though. But whatever, just don't go out to eat with your friends and eat a feast and have glasses of wine to go with it and then you wouldn't have gained the 20 lbs over the last couple years.

    Some other things that I try and live by and suggest to people who don't want to drop money in a gym every month:

    1) Walk.

    2) Stop standing there and move your ass. People who ride the escalator are lazy, walk your butt up the escalator. You don't need the elevator to go two floors either. These women at my job started a club of taking the stairs at work, they lost weight! It's real. Stop being lazy.

    3) Stop binge eating. I told someone today, "Hey I can't even date a binge eater, like if you are the type that whenever we're out you want to get food at midnight or after the club, it's an automatic turnoff." Cut that all the way out, stop the jumbo slice, the Wendy's, the Diner, the iHop, all that eating and then you go to sleep, that's horrid.

    4) Stop overeating. Eat until you're full, not stuffed. Don't eat it just because you love it, eat it because you need it.

    5) Stay active. Kickball, softball, or anything like that. When you go out to a lounge, club or bar, don't be the type who is always like, "There's no place to sit." Who cares? We could all use the little bit of activity it takes to stand on our feet for a couple hours.

    PS – Do not take those diet pills no matter what you do. They can help you to stop gaining weight or even shed pounds fast but they have this side effect called, bat sh*t crazy!

    I'm sorry and I didn't want to offend anyone, but I just felt the need to share my opinions on the subject.

    1. . Almost like I told this woman, you know that when you drink alcohol, your body processes alcohol first and turns all those fats away and they go into your body. That’s why you go to the gym everyday and work out and you lose like 5 lbs a week, if that.

      Is this a typo?

      1. No you can't lose weight if you drink because the fat in your body is not being processed the alcohol is and your body is turning the fat into triglycerides (sp), and it just won't work out for you.

        1. Of course you can lose weight if you drink alcohol. If you drink an excess of it then of course you won't lose as efficiently or as healthy. Bottom line is losing weight is a very simple calculation….If the calories you burn on a daily basis exceeds the calories you intake then you will lose weight. The more drinks you have then it's clear you are intaking more calories much like anything you consume in excess. If you are burning more calories, however, by working out, staying active, etc…then what you are taking in (whether that's by alcoholic consumption or otherwise) the pounds will drop. It's simple math. Also, losing 5 lbs a week is a relatively healthy pace to lose weight. Many trainers will tell someone 2-3 pounds a week is a good pace. Those cats on the Biggest Loser losing 15-20 lbs a week are not losing weight in a healthy manner, but whatever works for you, more power to ya.

    2. I love this entire comment. 

      I hear people say "I need to lose weight" then down a whopper, fries, a pie with a large drink or better yet they eat one time a day. o_O

    3. For out entire history on this planet our bodies have evolved to maintain weight and strength in environments where food was scarce.

      In the 20 century we transformed. Food is no longer scarce. And work means sitting at a computer for 10 hours a day. Not farming.

      Not to mention we work longer hours where as in the past we only worked when the sun was up.

      So consequently the bodies we have evolved are not built for the enviornment we exist in.

      To simply tell people to adapt is like telling a Ford 150 to start acting like a Toyota Prius. It can't be done.

      The best trainer I know always says "Be the best you can be within the limits of your genetics." Something like that……but basically he recognizes all of our bodies are different. If your genes say you are supposed to have think thighs you can exercise all you want and you will always have thick thighs.

      So please don't think you can manipulate and control every aspect of your physical appearance. Just be the best you can be.

      And don't take advice from people that are naturally skinny. They have never struggled with weight and genetics. You are better off taking advice from people that have been heavy and learned to control their weight.

      1. I'm confident that you have no idea what I was trying to say. You missed it, but i'm glad that you threw the random insult per usual to validate your argument.

        I've long been through with arguing with you on this website.

      2. <blockquote cite="comment-314080">

        il Duce the Grand Nagus, Master of the Rules of Acquisition: And don’t take advice from people that are naturally skinny. They have never struggled with weight and genetics. You are better off taking advice from people that have been heavy and learned to control their weight.

        I agree with this. I am in weight watchers and I tell everyone I swear its like an AA meeting for 'overweight' people. Its easy to say just dont eat so much. However, it is not so easy for some people. Its basically an addiction. People that have never had problems with their weight will not understand what it means to not eat that doughnut. It can be as hard as telling pookie to put down the pipe.

      3. Genetics do not make you fat..habits do.. If you eat more even after your full, have a large appetite, like your constant treats..etc..you are definitely gona get bigger unless your metabolism is as fast as they come… People always told me..u will never be small you took your fathers side..they are all "BIG"..etc..well all i could see is they had really large appetites..started eating right..walked every so often….do not remember the last time..i was big…its been 9 years..so this whole genetic thing…in my opinion was made up so people could feel better about their situation…

        No affront to you

    4. I think you feel this way because you don't work out and you've said many times that you don't and feel you don't need to.

      We've had health studies that says that seatbelts are safer, smoking while pregnant can harm babies etc. my point is, with research throughout the years things are discovered. With our shitty eating habits, more and more research shows the benefits of staying active and eating right.

      No one is forcing the gym down anyones throat. Its a FACT that without exercise plus a healthy diet you'll be at a disadvantage. Some people eat right but dont work out, some eat like crap but workout crazy.

      Staying active can involve the gym or any other form of activity. Working Out doesnt always = gym, so I think you gotta look at it like that too.

      We'll continue to agree to disagree on the point tho

      1. The only issue I had with working out, whether in the gym or outside is the addiction or the over the top. I don't deny that exercise and a healthy diet are key, that's why I said stay active. I think more of what I was saying is that we should look at the entire lifecycle instead of just working out. I think we can agree that once you get to the point of pushing yourself to exhaustion or personal injury, you've reached the point where you need reevaluate. For example, my coworker has torn her ACL four times from running, she's trying to run a marathon in October. I asked her one time, what she would do if the doctor told her to stop and she said, "He did, but I can't live without running." That to me is kind of odd. The same can be said for men who spend time trying to increase their bench press to some enormous amount, so I guess that's my question, at what point have you passed working out/exercise and turned to an addiction or overdoing it?

        1. I am gonna roll with Streetz on this one…

          I rather have people feigning to exercise, than feigning for Mickey D's… Even if it kills them…

          But I wouldn't seriously LTR any woman who is crazy about anything more than me..

      2. @Dr jay

        I feel you. Anything in excess can be an addicition though. Some people are obsessed with sports, music, $$, we all got vices. I dig what ur sayin though and agree that when you overdo it, you lose

  29. Alright…ALRIGHT! I'll stop with the excuses and get back to working out regularly.

    I've always been petite. But, I have to be careful with my belly region cause I had two sons…doesn't stay tight in that area (but my 'suck in' skills stay on point, lol…so you can't tell). Back in '08, I worked out religiously for months till my belly got tight then I stopped cause it got cold outside and I didn't want to be wet outside in the cold. I used 'on demand' ab workouts for a while till I switched to satellite cable. Then, I tried Hip Hop Abs…but dudes lisp kinda freaked me out, lol. My church does these super strict fasts twice a year which purges my system…so that kept my belly under control the last few years. But, I didn't fast this time…and my belly is looking like it. So, I need to do something.

    My excuse has been time. I'm not a morning person and I get off work around 6pm. By that time, I want dinner and rest…not a work out. When I have my boys, it's homework, dinner, and bed. After that, I'm SUPER exhausted. My hair is loc'd so that's not an issue for me. I'm self-motivated so the absence of a work-out buddy isn't an issue for me either. I just need better time management. I need to start my days earlier…but I'm so CRANKY in the mornings. Waking up before 8am is against my nature, lol.

    I dunno. Thanks for making me feel bad, Streetz, LOL.

  30. The excuses have to end at one point. Getting in shape and eating right doesn't cost as much as a lot of women think. Don't believe me then email me.

    The point about lifting weights is one that grinds my gear. I always tell my lady friends that resistance exercises and weights will give you the tone that you need. It is always rebuffed with the fear of turning into Ms. Olympia, but they will cardio all day, which does nothing after your body has cooled down. Hell…even doing pushups or pullups (and Iron Gym costs $20 and fits over your door…anyone can use it!) will provide your muscle with enough resistance to burn the fat and get rid of the lunch lady arms that I see rampant.

    Gyms aren't even that necessary also. Sure it is nice to work out around other people who are working out, but find a fitness park in your area that offers outdoors (fresh air is better than gym funk) and a variety of exercises. You'll be less bored and the cleaner air is far more beneficial. Plus you don't have to worry about those stupid contracts they lock you into in case you fall off the wagon.

    And if anyone is asking, yes I'm in shape…

  31. I agree so much with Dr J. Nutrition is the biggest problem we have in this country. The food these days is awful. When I was eating organically, I barely had to work out. I walked to and from the bus stop and at work, I would use my fifteen minute breaks to run the stairs in intervals. That's all took me to maintain back then.

  32. I'll admit I'm at a point in my life where I am focusing more on diet than exercise. But for me and my body type, that's mucho important. I'm active now in my daily life and dropped weight without even trying (my metabolism is still super high) so instead I'm focusing more on what I eat to maintain. I have kinda slacked off in my "gym days" but I'm looking to get back into my pilates and weights to tone. I hate the gym like many but I agree with what everyone else said about getting outdoors and doing something to break up the monotonous routines.

    very good post Streetz.

  33. I run 6 miles five days a week. The main reason I do this (besides fitness and heath) is because if some sh!t goes down, I know I can get away. If you're with me and something happens, just know that I gone, all you will see is the back of my heels and I'm not looking back, sorry. I'll just explain to your mom that you just wasn't quick enough. My neighbor is a trainer, a real strong built guy but its all in his upper body. He is the inverted triangle, he could tip over any minute. Anyway what I'm trying to say is work out the whole body please.

    1. ROFL…….Tank top bodybuilders……..They don't want to be healthy…….They just want to look good in a tank top……..Pay no attention to my toothpick legs.

      Funny things is……most guys don't realize how much women pay attention to legs.

    2. yes I hate to see guys that are super beefy up top only. I call that the prison workout. lol.

      and I feel you on running if some sh!t goes down. I am quick and I told my girl the other day, if I see people running I'm running too–ask questions later, I'm trying to live!

  34. honestly i hate working out. the key is to find something that you like to do. going to a gym and lifting weights for a hour is boring to me. so i play ball for a hour (or two), then i lift for like 30 minutes, then i might go for a run later on that day. it works for me, so i stick to it. if you don't like it then you aren't going to want to do it.

  35. The idea that my muscles get smaller when I don't workout is enough motivation for me to workout three times a week. If you don't use it, you lose it! Also, I was very concerned about my hair as well. Washing your hair three times a week just isn't feasible or healthy…but neither is dying before your tine, but having have a fly hair do.

    For about three months, I committed to a sew-in weave that protected my hair and allowed me to take care of what matters most – my body. Bodies don't grow back – but hair does!

    1. Washing your hair three times a week isn't healthy? lol Tell that to girls who have actual hair on their head but have oily scalps (and skin altogether) – Damn black women are NASTY. Shampoo may be drying but atleast wet and rub the dirt/oil off your scalp…that crap doesn't smell good, at all.

      1. yea there is nothing wrong with washing your hair often, that is a common myth. but african americans typically have dryer hair so its a must to keep it moisturized and deep conditioning is a plus. a lot of people also co-wash which is rinsing with conditioner only, but if you sweat in your head while working out I'd still use shampoo personally.

      2. Please do some research before you spout nonsense, because if anyone's "nasty", it's white women. Black women tend to have less oily scalps than white women and that's just a fact. So for us once a week with shampoo is optimal, not every single day.
        And for your information hair care professionals of ALL races recommend limiting the use of shampoo to at most twice a week.

        1. Most hair care "professionals" are bald headed, or have jacked up hair themselves, LOL.

          And if most black people have less oily scalps then isn't that just as nasty considering the skin dries and turns to flakes (dandruff)? lol

          My girlfriend is white, with long thick dark hair, washes it every day – she is on her "co-washing" shit too, and shampoos aswell – why can't a black women who most likely doesn't have half as much hair on her head keep her scalp clean? I mean your heads literally SMELL very bad ALOT of the time, wtf?

          WASH YOUR SHIT.

  36. Are yall serious with the ratings? lol you black women have less hair on your heads than most women in reality – why is it such a hassle to wash it when you wash the rest of your body (which I assume is every day, or atleast every other day? LOL) Maybe if you guys would stop trying to force your hair to be straight (because it looks stupid really, thin, no movement, and plain stupid in comparison to naturally straighter hair.) you'd be able to wash it more often.

    And before some moron whose "natural" but still tries to wear their hair straight the majority of the time tries to tell me that 'natural hair is hard work' uh no, I'm 24, black with nappy ass hair (Im a dude but whatever) and my shit was longer than any black woman I've ever seen when I was corny and wore braids.

    Co-wash that shit, shampoo it, whatever…keep it smelling decent, jesus christ.

    1. Maybe if black women would learn to wash their asses properly you wouldn't see the same old shit….hurrrrhurrr….hur. I know you guys don't have a problem with me wanting my girl to smell good – it's okay to be funky after the gym but there is no reason why I see white women with curly ass hair, wavy or straight hair washing it at the gym and they have more hair on their head than most of you do – and can still wash it.

      OH THAT'S RIGHT…most of them even if they do chemically straighten it still don't want to smell funky. Hell I wash my shit after working out, I'm black, my shit is nappy too..it isn't hard to smell good people, it really isn't.

  37. I have recently started working out and thinking about the things I put in my mouth. I dont like working out but I do because I think about the end result. I work in child care nine hours a day, m-f, along with other obligations after work so there are times I am tired. I just suck it up and work out.My hair has not been a reason to not get my sweat on ever since I began growing my hair out naturally. I could understand that a lil….. I dont know if any woman has mentioned this but when that visitor comes, I dont feel like doing a thing, lol. Just dont want to.

  38. I used to say:

    I'm to big to run….

    I can't lose weight….

    I don't like gyms….

    My hair isn't going cooperate….

    And then one day I just started. And it stuck. I made a conscious decision to make fitness a priority. And I structured my time so that I could maintain those priorities. I had a pretty robust 'fro that was hard to maintain with high intensity sweat, so I locked. I started by waking up at 430 am to get my workout in before leaving for work at 7am. I started working out outside before I migrated to a gym membership. I keep my playlists upto date to make workouts fun. When I move to a new town, I always search for a gym they way i search for a church. I also changed who I hung with–so we socialized around active events.

    I have learned a few things along way:

    – when I lived in NYC many of my AA female friends ran races in Central Park. It changed our conversations and got us out of restaurants and Bars to socialize all the time. What if we change where we gather with our girls. We weren't athletes per se, but it is a beautiful thing when you have regular black women (we are no where near Marion Jones level), size 12s, 14s and 16s sprinting miles and seeing how many marathons and half marathons we can get under our belts.

    – it's not BS, your body feels alive when you work out. You can feel blood running through your veins. that's cool.

    – you look like a better version of you–your posture improves, you rid yourself of excess nervous energy

    – you will get healthier. Really why would you want to pay for drugs to manage your diabetes, hypertension and high cholesterol when you could prevent it for free? Those drugs are for LIFE! Workingout can help reduce your dependence on them. Take this from a former 10 year drug company exec.

    – your job is an important factor. If it's stressful you need to have a way to manage your cortisol levels. This is critical. You may need to ask yourself which is more important: this job or my health (most of us won't have healthcare to pay for our chronic drugs when we retire). If you don't "have time" then perhaps you should determine if you are over committed and are spending your time on low value things. I personally saw the difference in my ability to stay committed to my healthy routine when I had a boss that was also serious about fitness than when my colleaguescould care less. It's just easier.

    – processed and fast food, juices and sodas are killing us. This is real.

    My people, we need to do better. There are no excuses. Unfit is not cute in men or women. Not at all.

    (please excuse the typos. My iPhone is trippin')

  39. All i wanna know is where is that woman in the pic at the top. Pleeeeeaaaaasseeeeee. I need that. The Thirst.

  40. Sorry namia I was trying to press the thumbs up but my finger is too stumpy and it hit the thumbs down. My bad. That being said, I agree with you 1000%. Ppl want to talk about genetics and disease being hereditary but that's not all true. Poor nutrition and bad habits are hereditary and that's what leads to generational diseases and poor health. Check out the underground wellness blog and youtube channel.

  41. I hated the gym, and now I get up early as all get out to work out at home. I've never had more self esteem. I had a relaxer and that used to be my excuse, plus my husband is a titty baby, I worried he would find me less attractive if they got too little. When we got married umpteen years ago, he only dated big girls because of his obsession. LOL, so I shaved my head and went natural, he complained until I could make it cute, and I got moving, he moved with me. The sex is stupid! I wake up extra early, i love doing yoga at home, he loves when I do yoga at home (he nasty). My daughter is loving everything about, we love doing Core Fusion together, they go on bike rides together. We're happier! We all go to the park together and play without getting exhausted. I haven't gotten to where I want to be, but my whole self feels better. Yes my breasts are smaller, but they're almost in my chin, plus my booty got hella big! He won't shut up about it. Working out is the best!

    My sister complained about being unhappy with herself all the time, we were both big, I sent her hip hop abs 1st month while I did the second and yoga. It's fun to talk about it and to do it together. Now when I go visit sometimes, me, her, my baby, her two kids and my momma will pile up in the living room and do a core fusion workout together, then the kids will go outside to play and can't keep their eyes open past 8 pm! Even when we play video games and they want snacks, they get fruits, they love fruit when that's all they can have! We go to the store and they get to pick their favorite fruits and vegetables for meals that week. I won't play games. I make my daughter pick one thing we've never tried and we try it together! It's easy and fun.

    Sorry the long response but nothing is more important than your health, it leads to happiness!

  42. I try to impress upon every black woman that i'm involved with or meet how important it is to not necessarily be thin, but to be healthy. Generally, being healthier comes with losing weight, which may or may not lead to losing that butt or your chest, but that shouldn't discourage anyone from overall feeling better. The half inch of azz you lose won't compare to the 100% increase in overall attitude/self-esteem you gain in dedicating yourself to something positive and beneficial.

    I am super active (basketball leagues, football leagues, gym membership, and complex workout room). It's IMPERATIVE that my mate/partner have that same lifestyle or at least embrace it. I want to only continue to get more and more in shape, I can't possibly be with a woman who isn't.

    *Kudos* to all the ladies that understand the importance of their health and are willing to do something about it rather than just talk.

LEAVE YOUR COMMENT

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Shares
Share This