Home Featured Don’t Be Trifling at the BBQ

Don’t Be Trifling at the BBQ

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Memorial Day Weekend has come and gone, and the summertime BBQ season is now upon us. No matter how busy you are, you will find some time to check out a few BBQ’s over the summer, and on into the fall depending on the climate where you’re at. If you’re lucky enough to get invited to a BBQ, avoid the following social faux paus when heading out the spot:

Don’t Shame Your Mother



Please don’t embarrass yourself by being the greedy friend or the invitee of an invitee that leaves with enough food for lunch everyday next week. Times aren’t that hard my friend. This is the quickest way to get un-invited to future events. There are some gracious hosts that will encourage their guests to take something for the road, but don’t confuse that with license to spread foil over their entire pan of chicken and exit stage left. And don’t think we don’t see you muthaf*ckas that try to sneak sh*t out one by one. We know that ain’t the same plate of food you’ve had the whole time.

Bring Your ‘A’ Game

Don’t even bother looking at the table(s) where dominoes and spades are being played if you know your game isn’t universally respected. Losing to worthy opponents is one thing, but losing a game because your brain dead partner insists on sending passes your way or cutting all your books without making any of their own can cause a healthy person’s blood pressure to rise. I’ve seen several BBQ’s lose their thunder over games of spades and dominoes gone wrong. Tread carefully when talking sh*t, because if you’re game can’t back it up, word will get around on the circuits that you’re a bum. Sad, but true.

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Don’t Wear That

Ladies, I don’t give a damn how fine you think you are, there are just certain parts of your body I don’t need to see while I’m eating. This includes your crow’s feet. The same goes for men. If you look like “George the Animal Steele” (no relation) or usually have man boob hanging out the side of your wifebeaters, consider wearing a T-shirt you think makes you look buff or something. No one wants to see that. Your sporadic use of P90X and/or Insanity workouts does not allow you to opt for more revealing clothing.

No Store Brand Liquor

By no means should you empty your pockets on some booze, but try to do better than bringing the headache hooch. The only thing more annoying than you bringing that cheap sh*t is the fact that you’re making it a point to take home your $6.25 bottle of liquor because nobody ain’t drink it. What’d you expect, there’s enough dust on the bottles to plant something. That’s not a good look. I’m not asking you to shell out Sam Adams money, but don’t bring half a 12 pack to a spot with 40 people. Resist the urge to explain to the host and other that a major brewer or distiller actually owns the p*ss water you brought. Also not a good look.

No Ridiculous Requests

If you know you are anal particular about your food, eat something before you arrive, or bring along your organic tomato ketchup, because I can guarantee you will be sorely disappointed. I’ve never had grilled squash, and I’m sure it is as splendid as you say, but an unplanned trip to the store will not be made to accommodate you. I think I’ve incurred enough expense procuring this salmon that I was mindful enough to pick up. I’m also afraid I don’t have a separate grills for the pork and the rest of the meat.

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I know you’ve had your share of experiences with trifling people that have shown up to your BBQ’s or friends you’ve brought along that have embarrassed the hell out of you. Do share.

Admiral Nelson and Wild Turkey? Really?…,

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Comment(92)

  1. Hahaha funny post!

    My momma always taught me to never go to any one's house with empty hands, ever.. what made this saying so real to me was when I got invited 2nd time around to a party bus, the host of it made sure to tell every one when I got there that out of all of his friends that he had made and knew I was the only one to never show up empty handed… that was a good feeling…

    As far as BBQs go, I always, always, ALWAYS, eat before going for the mere reason of being allergic to chicken 🙁 So I can't risk having food that was grilled where chicken was grilled before…. by the way, it sucks too!

    1. Allergic to chicken? Man, I'ma go to bed and wake up and see if this comment is still here. I ain't never heard such a thing.

      On the real, I can't eat uncooked apples. People don't be grillin' apples though.

      1. Yes Slim, it is true, I am extremely allergic to chicken, I go into anaphylectic (spelling?) shock soon after consuming it… I carry epinepherine pills and hospital dose benadryl with me at all time cuz I never know specially if I'm eating out… Chicken broth or imitation broth doesnt give me the same reaction but I'll start feeling like trouble breathing and/or itchy throat…

    2. Allergic to CHICKEN?!?! Wow, that really sucks! It may sound dramatic, but I really can't imagine life without chicken–the thought of that just saddens me.

      1. +1

        Chicken is a universal/multicultural kind of meat, every ethnic group has their own way of hooking it up and I LOVE them all so a life without chicken is just………..

        #ShedsTear4Lola

        1. What realky gets meis when its being cooked, if its marinated good, man that damn bird smells like heaven!!! Lol

      2. Whats really sad is how I found out I was allergic! Man I remember, high school, sophmore year, lunch time, having my favorite, deep fried chicken strips with a chipotle bbq sauce, man that sauce was soooo good! I remember eating them and just chillin, it had not been the first time ever eating chicken, next thing you know Im having trouble breathing and this pain is doibling me over the chair, then I guess I passed out lol woke up on a stretcher with a syringe on my thigh and every one staring… Havent had chicken since then 🙁

        1. Can someone start a ChipIn fund for Lola!? Maybe it was that sauce girl! Don't give up hope! We'll have you tested by the finest allergists! Try every kind of chicken. Experimental drugs, whatever it takes! This. CAN'T. Be life!

    3. * puddlin up *

      Lola…I don't even know how to respond. I wish there was something someone could do…

      (((e-hug)))

      May seem like a silly question…but what's you're 'go to' meat? Turkey? Fish? Beef? Chicklets (veggie chicken)?

  2. I slightly feel like less of a real n!gga since I don't know how to play dominoes or spades. I'll drop you in some uno though.

      1. I'm with you about Dominoes…I always told myself it was a west coast thing (I've seen one too many 90's hood flicks, LOL). I haven't gone to ONE cookout in the DMV with a Dominoes game going down. It just hasn't happened, LOL.

        But, y'all have some 'splainin to do bout these Spades comments… Black folks MUST know how to play Spades and Uno and do the following line dances: the electric slide, the booty call, the cha cha slide, and the cubic shuffle. If not, your Black Card is in danger of being revoked at any moment!

        1. I don't know hot to play Spades but I will destroy you in Uno…lol. I can do all of the aforementioned line dances…..and yeh, people don't play Dominoes in the DMV……not anywhere I've been anyway.

        2. The only people who get away with not doing the line dances are shy people and folks with two left feet…can't have you messin the line all up, LOL.

          Y'all are tempting me to google some Spades instructions…I can't have my people living like this, LOL…all Spadesless and stuff…

        3. <blockquote cite="comment-314177">

          GirlSixx is ChloeRayne516: Ummm. The booty call???? o_O Please explain…

          Girl, trust me…it's a pretty common line dance. You gotta YouTube it. Get this one under your belt ASAP. It's actually pretty old but you may need to whip it out at a moments notice. It's fairly easy but it can potentially be a party starter. It's no "Cow Funk"…that line dance is tricky (don't ask, lol)…so you should be good catching on to this on the spot actually.

        4. It maybe a West Coast thing I'm from Cali and most family functions we get down. I live in ATL and rarely EVER see dominoes – I actually have a set of my own dominoes (in a wooden box and err'thang LOL. Spades Bid whist, tonk, uno . We play it all my family.

        5. <blockquote cite="comment-314184">

          cynicaloptimist81: Girl, trust me…it’s a pretty common line dance. You gotta YouTube it. Get this one under your belt ASAP. It’s actually pretty old but you may need to whip it out at a moments notice. It’s fairly easy but it can potentially be a party starter. It’s no “Cow Funk”…that line dance is tricky (don’t ask, lol)…so you should be good catching on to this on the spot actually.

          Okay. Cow Funk and Booty Call…. *lol* I just can't with these names. WTHTDTA???

          but I'mma youtube tho.

        6. Hol' up! Wait, I'm late as EFF and ya'll just gon' let this "cubic shuffle" ride? All day. Not gon' say nothin? She pullin folks Black cards and messin up the name of the dance and no one gon' say anything?

          Oh. That's how we do? Well I ain't got a Black card. So, lemme go ahead and say it: the dance is the Cupid Shuffle.

          I loves ya CO, just ribbin 😉 It is Cupid Shuffle though…

          *note: I went ahead and google'd cubic shuffle though and this is an epidemic – wonder if it's a regional thing? I'ma still post this though…cuz I don't know what you've been told – #ItAin'tTheButterflyIt'sTheTootsieRoll *

        7. * LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY *

          It is indeed the Cupid Shuffle…and I have no excuse because I know this without fact checkin you, LOL!

          * clutches my Black Card in case someone's lookin to snatch it *

          And there's a HUGE diff between the Butterfly (emphasis on the legs opening and closing) and the Tootsie Roll (emphasis on a booty sway), LOL!

        8. "And there’s a HUGE diff between the Butterfly (emphasis on the legs opening and closing) and the Tootsie Roll (emphasis on a booty sway), LOL!"

          You say Hoochie Dancing, I say Dancing like a Hoochie – it's all just air sex. :-p

          *pelvic thrusts outta here*

      2. "Hol’ up! Wait, I’m late as EFF and ya’ll just gon’ let this “cubic shuffle” ride? All day. Not gon’ say nothin? She pullin folks Black cards and messin up the name of the dance and no one gon’ say anything?

        Oh. That’s how we do? Well I ain’t got a Black card. So, lemme go ahead and say it: the dance is the Cupid Shuffle.

        I loves ya CO, just ribbin It is Cupid Shuffle though…"

        Honestly, I was gonna go ahead and give her the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to an "auto correct" error. I looked at that 'cubic shuffle' and just thought, "She must have been typying that reply in via cell phone and the auto correct got her…that gotta be it, smh" lol.

        Oh well, CO, you done told on yourself now. You shoulda played the "auto correct card" lol.

    1. I feel your pain. I can play dominoes but I aint no damn expert. When those 'old schoolers' start telling me what dominoes I got left in my hand and what I "BET NOT PLAY" ….sad times.

      Yeah and I never learned how to play Spades. Mostly because if you ever ask a black person to teach you how to play, they just make fun of you. I gave up on that life about 10 years ago.

      1. That's it…here's a quick-n-dirty Spades Training Session, lol. Print these and thank me later.

        The ultimate goal is for you and your partner to win the most books.

        You need 4 peeps (you & a partner are on one team). 13 cards are dealt to each player. Hieracrchy of the cards is pretty logical (Big Joker, Little Joker, Ace, King, Queen, Jack, 10-2…A Deuce (2 of spades may be wild which makes it higher than a Ace of Spades)…and spades beat any other suit (hearts, diamonds, and clubs)). You assess your hand and count all the top cards (Big Joker, Little Joker, Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Any spades in your hand, 10's can possibly work too) as potentional opportunities to win a book (a book is all four cards placed on the table). You and your partner negotiate the number of books you can win collectively…the minimum you can do is 4 (or board). The first player will lay down a card. The type of card on the table leads the book (if they lead with a heart, place a heart on the table that will beat the other team's heart…if your partner puts out a high card that can win the book, put out a low heart). The goal is for you or your partner to have the highest card in the book. If you do, you win the book. Repeat that, and win the game!

        NO NO's:

        Renege: to play a card that is not of the suit led when one can follow suit…meaning you still have cards in your hand that look like the leading card (a player leads with a heart, you have hearts in your hand…but threw out a Spade to win the book…bad move). This has been known to cause violence and end cookouts early, lol. And blacklist you as a potential partner.

        Cut Your Partner: Here's the scenario. The other team leads with a Queen of hearts, your partner puts out a king of hearts, the other team's 2nd player puts out a 5 of hearts (sign of defeat), and your silly behind puts out the Ace of hearts! WHY?????? Your teamate clearly won the book already…and you just gave away an easy win for a future book. YOU'RE FIRED!

        1. What spades equivalent-of-Smush-Parker wrote this?

          The ultimate goal is NOT to win the most books, but to get the most points by actually winning the books you bid on. Getting ten books means next to nothing if you bid six.

          What loser counts a freaking TEN as a potential book? You'd be lucky if a jack walks, unless your partner doesn't have the suit your jack is in, and is playing off you.

          And you can count "any spades" if you want to, but you better hope someone on the opposite team isn't cutting the same suit you are. It's not that hard to beat a four of spades.

        2. LMBO!

          Hugh Jazz…the key label you missed was QUICK-N-DIRTY! *strokes the dead animal on your shoulder to soothe your nerves* lol

          Explaining the points system to someone who doesn't know how to play is…pointless. Teaching them how to win books is priority #1. The point system is something they can pick up along the way…or have explained at the table.

          The 10's are actually what I'd consider a possible and not a sure win…again…I can't 'splain all that and keep folks attention, Hugh…come ON!!!! If you're as good as you think you are, you can't say you've never pulled a book on a 10. If you haven't, that's YOUR bad, lol.

          True. This is where Spades wisdom and experience comes into play. I usually consider low Spades as possibles…again…didn't want to get into all that.

          BUT…at least your comment 'splains a few other Spades elements. I def left some stuff out but you GOTTA admit, these instructions will get folks through the game without too many problems…

        3. Hey, if you sit down at the table, you gotta play for real! If you ain't playing points, you ain't playing.

          I understand this is for the neophytes, but I'm just saying.

        4. Good point…

          Newbies to Spades should always announce themselves as such and master their skills in private settings or smaller family gatherings. During these types of games, the goal is get you up to speed (teach you the point system, answer all your questions, teach you what to watch out for during the game, etc)…the pros won't expect a super serious game.

          If you do want to play at the fam's Annual Cookout, after revealing your Newbie status, a mentor will be assigned to you. The mentor will keep you from doing something completely ridiculous and try to quickly answer any questions you may have…or share Spades tips that they can tell you are unaware of.

          Remember, we all start out as Newbies. There's not a Spades player around who didn't have a mentor or a training game. Its all a part of the learning process. 🙂

        5. SEE!!!

          Lives. Lost!

          Friendships. Ruined!

          LOL

          And this argument totally made me wanna play! lol

          For real though, if you're really trying to learn, use the net. The tips sites, the online games. People WILL still get angry, but they can't shank you or excommunicate you from the family online.

        6. Dr. J…the fact that we both have dictionary links to our preferred spellings is crazy, LOL. Cause I sho'nuff thought I silenced you! 🙂

          And please know that I'm not scared of your gangsta…I've got my own.

          #Bmore #westside #hilltop #wussupwussup #slouchsocks #redkoolaid #halfnhalfs #saltpeppaketchup #tennisshoes

          LOL

        7. I'm sorry, but I'm with Hugh on the whole counting 10 as a book. Who looks at their hand sees a 10 and bids that as a possible??? Where they do that at? I'm not saying I have ever won a hand with a 10, because I have, but best believe I didn't count that as one of the books I thought I'd get, lol. I wish you were my partner and you bid 4 and ended up with 2 and us getting set b/c you counted your 10 of hearts and jack of diamonds as books, lol.

          Even if all 13 in that suit was distributed evenly (with one person having 4 of the same suit) it's darn near numerically impossible to win with a 10 unless all the spades are gone and there's no trump, but who ever assumes that? lol.

          Sorry, I was playing spades over the weekend with a pretty bad partner so I'm kind of venting here. No disrespect, though. Just don't ever count no 10 as a book…or a possible..ever. 🙂

    2. This thread just needs to reread and heed the advice in the author's 2nd point and you'll be a-ok…

      Dominoes is not a game. Relationships have ended, teeth have been lost, children disowned.

  3. I went to a BBQ before and a guest showed up 1) super late, 2) empty-handed, and 3) with 2 friends! I wasn't the host or owner, but had it been me…three strikes and you're out!

  4. Put a leash on your badazz children

    Deodorent

    Don't get drunk and "get your eagle on" in a mini dress. Especially if your drawers are to' up.

    Don't push up on someone else's man (I saw a girl get cracked in the head with a beer bottle for that)

    Don't be the sore loser at the spades table. All mad and shyt like a dang toddler and there wasn't even any money riding on the game.

  5. Sometimes the people giving the BBQ can be trifling to…..I kid you not, I was invited to a BBQ and the person had a George Forman Grill plugged up outside with some dried up chicken breasts/burgers on it…..what happened to the GRILL? I mean the real grill..with charcoals (and) or wood or a gas grill…..geez. Nah, I ate already……sigh.

    I agree with all of your points…I would add, don't be the person who doesn't know when it's time to go HOME….you're the only one there….people are cleaning up, the hosts are in their PJ's….and you are just sitting at the dining room table….for what? Don't let the people start flicking the lights on and off so you can get the hint…that it's time to go…….

    1. Not the George Forman!!!! Lawdamercy. My girl got invited to a cookout that had no utensils, no chairs, no grass and not enough food. But there was plenty liquor.

    2. Word at people giving the BBQ being trifling. I HATE when I go to someone's for an evening of dranks, cards and shenanigans, I expect the bathroom and kitchen to be clean. I've been to one house where there was standing water in the tub, and the toilet was broken. And please, clean the stove, sink and counter. Ugh!!!

      1. See, I would have lost faith in the kosherness of the food and bounced, lol.

        Nasty Kitchen = Trifflin Cooking Habits = Me getting sick after consuming your food

        That's a 'no go', LOL…

        And the second I have to pee, I'm leaving. I already don't do public bathrooms. Ewwwww…

  6. <blockquote cite="comment-314144">

    Teflon Temptress:
    Put a leash on your badazz children

    Deodorent

    Don’t get drunk and “get your eagle on” in a mini dress.Especially if your drawers are to’ up.

    Don’t push up on someone else’s man (I saw a girl get cracked in the head with a beer bottle for that)

    Don’t be the sore loser at the spades table.All mad and shyt like a dang toddler and there wasn’t even any money riding on the game.

    #cosign all of this but especially the kids part. Don't expect my little brother to watch your kids. He is specifically there to watch the grill!! 😉

  7. I was once invited to a BBQ thrown by militant vegans. You know the type. These are the assholes that can't eat anywhere without saying how meat is slowly killing people, and saying it AS LOUD AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.

    I went, because they're friends of mine. They couldn't figure out why everyone brought burgers, hot dogs, and packages of chicken with them. They really expected to throw a BBQ with Morningstar burgers, tofurkey, and fake chicken nuggets. Once the alcohol started flowing freely, everyone started to clown them.

    1. Wow! They should have just had two grills. Or at least called it a vegetarian BBQ. I would love to go to one of those.

  8. I've heard of allergies to chicken before. The woman said she didn't used to be but developed the allergies over time. Said it was whatever they're adding to chicken these days. Made me curious to know if she was also allergic to organic free range chicken too which shouldn't have anything added.

    As for bbqs, I'm the one that shows up empty handed most of the time. I always ask if there's something I can bring and I'm always told no or drinks. I don't drink alcohol so I'm limited in anything interesting to bring. I don't drink soda much or anything beyond water really. Would I look suspicious if I brought something and didn't drink it myself?

  9. No chicken. I couldn't imagine a life with no Harold's …Chi-town stand up!

    Uno, that is hilarious and I can beat anyone @ Uno, including 5 year old children. I love it when people leave with their liquor I think it is hilarious. My #1 pet peeve is when the host is waiting on mofos to bring stuff…and then they are late. So you mean to tell me I can't scarf my sausage because you are waiting on buns and I can't get my Diddy on because you have no ice. ~blank stare

  10. I'm so with you on that store brand CHEAP beer/liquor. Don't show up to a bbq with a case of budweiser but yet everytime I see you you chugging a heineken or stella.

    We used to have of these in our circle. *smh*

  11. I have seen it all, the people who drink all of the good stuff, but bring the cheap stuff with them, and why do black people always drink out of those red plastic cups? I am not sure that I got the memo that said that red platic cups were mandatory at a BBQ.

    One year we had a BBQ and I had gone to Costco and bought white plastic cups with butterfies on them. Some of the men were complaining that they couldn't drink out of those cups because they weren't REAL picnic cups!

    1. The red cups with the white rim is synonymous with alcohol at black gatherings. You'd get the sideeye for bringing cups with butterflies to a picnic for adults. You can't put Ketel One in a cup with butterflies on it, you put Yoohoo in those cups!

  12. Don't let Peyso handle the grill!

    I kid I kid.

    Seriously though women dressed like it's a quincinera. Mad pissed because 5 inch heels are sinking into the grass. I get it- I love wearing heels everywhere but wedges can be your bff here

  13. Don't bring your own containers. Also, do not sneak chicken into your pockets. I actually saw this happen. Things were winding down and this dude eased to the kitchen. Or he thought he was easing but we were watching him. He put a chicken breast in one pocket and a couple wings in another. For the rest of life, he's been known as 'chicken hawk'.

  14. Don't bring your kids, and then leave them just because you think other people are around to watch them.

  15. My cousin brings fruit every time. I go no beef with fruit, but he brings three apples or two oranges. What happen to the rest of the bag Bro? And how are we splitting three apples amongst 30 people?

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-314170">

      SillyAli: My cousin brings fruit every time. I go no beef with fruit, but he brings three apples or two oranges. What happen to the rest of the bag Bro? And how are we splitting three apples amongst 30 people?

      Wowwww.

      *lmao*

    2. <blockquote cite="comment-314170">

      SillyAli: My cousin brings fruit every time. I go no beef with fruit, but he brings three apples or two oranges. What happen to the rest of the bag Bro? And how are we splitting three apples amongst 30 people?

      Wowwww.

      Maybe garnishing was the motif he was going for perhaps. NO??? *smh*

      *lmao*

  16. I learned how to play Spades about a year and change ago. I surprise myself at times. Dominoes is my game! I learned the right way & played old folk who only talk bullsh*t so you gotta prove yourself, watch, listen & learn. You don't want it in UNO, Bullsh*t & any other card game where you count cards. I saw 21. LOL

    But as for BBQ Etiquette?

    I. Dress comfortably. I agree with LMS on the heels. You're about to be in grass & you're wearing heels? #CutTheShit.

    II. Act accordingly. I'm not saying be on your best angelic behavior. But you're about to be around some friends & some potential (insert something on line of acquaintanceship). Try not to show ya ass so soon.

    III. Enjoy yourself. I've seen people go to BBQs and bitch & moan the whole way through. Shoulda woulda coulda stayed home. But you're here now. Loosen up and stop being a friggin prick.

    There's more but good things happen in sets of three. 🙂

  17. lol so i was at Dr. J's cookout and his co-host lost to me and her brother on the spades table. we lost the next game and she said something to the effect of being good in spades. i had to let her know that she just lost to me and her brother. i think she was offended by my willingness to talk trash even though i didn't know her. *shrug*

  18. Agree, esp. with the last one rofl….sadly it is my mom usually being extra and shit about her food so trips are made lmao.

  19. Great list!

    For my crab eatting folks:

    If you aren't prepared with some cash, you BET NOT TOUCH THOSE EXPENSIVE CRABS unless you are offered some. And, if you are offered some, be modest and just take 3-4 crabs. Two dozen cost me $60 this past weekend! You don't wanna know how much a bushel (a whole lotta crabs) costs…

      1. LMBO!

        Trust and believe…no Baltimorean is counting how many crabs are in there. #justfilltheboxpleaseandthankyou

  20. I'm about to sound like a super nerd here but I don't play bones or spades (I know how but I just don't play) and it's been some years on uno but I will clown you in a game of boggle! I'm the undisputed champ in these parts but nobody wants to play boggle at a bbq. Why is that?

    1. I'm wit u krystl! Skip spades & bones…Can we get some Taboo! or CatchPhrase going in this piece!?! Esp. after the adult beverages start flowing it's gone be chuckles for days!

  21. Do not bring your kids, and let them run all around the house, slamming my doors and sh*t. No, seriously, if you don't want to watch your kids, don't bring them. I believe it takes a village to raise a child, so I will not hesitate to beat your unruly children.

    Red cups make everything better…

    1. I won't lie, I agree with you 110%, but I don't think I could get away with whoopin' somebody else kids, so I usually manipulate 'em into situations where they bust they own ass. Then look at 'em, like, "See? I told you. Now sit yo' narrow behind somewhere and be good." Works like a charm.

    2. "I believe it takes a village to raise a child, so I will not hesitate to beat your unruly children."

      Welp!

  22. This is BBQ Etiquette 101…. hilarious and so true! I will be laughing at this all day.

    I actually hate BBQ's but I'm forced to attend at least 1 every summer. Blah.

    1. I hate bugs and sitting in grass (yes, a chair in grass counts as sitting in grass, lol). So, I have a love/hate relationship with BBQs. But I love good laughs, food, and clean fun…so I usually plant myself on the deck! 🙂

      1. LOL! exactly. Though I love sitting on grass.

        I love picnics…thats like a bbq without the grill right? I love them. Small bites to eat, wine, fresh fruit…. 🙂

  23. I was told Im not allowed to comment on this because I was provoked into breaking rule #1, but f*ck that! lol

    1) If you dont know how to play spades, you are not African American. You need a passport to the black community

    2) Do NOT bring friends who have NO HOME TRANING to a BBQ! When they get banned from future events, you will too, collateral damage! (look RIGHT at you @______ LOL)

    3) For pool parties, ladies, stop STUNTIN and get in the pool! All that dippin ur toe in shyt is wack man. Wear a bikini thats flattering to your body, and don't be scurred! And the hair excuse? smh… crazy!

    4) Bring a bottle even if they dont ask! Classy stuff

    5) Try to clean up after yourself as best possible. Its cool to give a little helping hand to the hosts

    I didnt read comments too tuff so apologies if these have been repeated

  24. <blockquote cite="comment-314193">

    krystllyght:

    I’m about to sound like a super nerd here but I don’t play bones or spades (I know how but I just don’t play) and it’s been some years on uno but I will clown you in a game of boggle!I’m the undisputed champ in these parts but nobody wants to play boggle at a bbq.Why is that?

    That's definitely some nerd ish right there. Now I don't feel so bad that I can't play spades or dominoes at any group function. I get my hi-yellow ass handed to me every time. I'm cool at checkers though! And scrabble; don't NOBODY want it in Scrabble. Usually, I just man the grill or play with the kids. No judgement from them.

  25. Whole post and ain't nobody bring up Taboo?

    Although this rule is always suspended at any function that I got brewing, "Don't drink like a college student." People get to your cookout and drink like the shit is going to go to waste if they don't drink it. Now everybody on they ass trying to figure out why the ground won't straighten up. Last year's cookout a few of you was there, people had to take naps in their car before leaving. A few was still sleep when we got home from the club. A few woke up at 2AM and met us at the club for the letout. But that's one rule you must keep in mind.

    #imdone

  26. What about Bid Whist? (or Bid Wiz as I like to call it). They played it alot where I was from, but everyone my age tells me they thought that was an old man's game. I keep on trying to tell them that once you learn to play bid whist and effectively, you'll never want to go back to spades.

  27. <blockquote cite="comment-314167">

    Ms. Smart: Don’t bring your own containers. Also, do not sneak chicken into your pockets. I actually saw this happen. Things were winding down and this dude eased to the kitchen. Or he thought he was easing but we were watching him. He put a chicken breast in one pocket and a couple wings in another. For the rest of life, he’s been known as ‘chicken hawk’.

    I laughed soo hard at this visual an then somehow Foghorn Leghorn popped into my head and the giggling began anew

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