Being single has its perks. You don’t have to talk on the phone. You don’t need to check in with anybody. You don’t have to fight for your right to your free night. S*x doesn’t have to be followed by cuddling. I mean…you could get up in the middle of the night and leave and it would be perfectly fine. She may never speak to you again and tell all her girls that the D was trash, but that’s okay because she isn’t your girl and you probably already bagged one of her friends. Being single can be awesome. Let me rephrase: Being single IS awesome. But being in a relationship isn’t so bad either. It has its fair share of perks beyond easy and consistent pummelage. That’s nice too though.
I hate to say it, but I tend to operate better when I’m in a relationship. Well, I tend to operate better in certain aspects of my life that may or may not be obvious to those around me. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m not walking around with a completely loaded weapon everyday. That could keep me out of jail. Maybe it’s because the smell of her hair brings me hope and catapults me closer to my dreams. That could keep me ambitious. But really, who f*cking knows? Aight. So I do know. If I didn’t, there wouldn’t be a post today. But since I do, let me tell you about a few ways that being in a relationship make me better.
My laundry gets done more frequently…and no, not by her.
So after monitoring my habits for the last 3 months, I’ve learned that I do my laundry like once every 3-4 weeks. That’s pretty bad. I know. And with each week that goes by, the abominable clothesman in the hamper becomes more and more of a hassle. So I keep procrastinating until I realize draws are at an all-time low. But when in a relationship, laundry gets done every 1-2 weeks. A lot of that has to do with s*x. Let’s be real. If you’re regularly having s*x with your significant other, there’s gonna be collateral damage to the sheets. And honestly, neither of you wanna sleep in an accumulation of dried love remnants for weeks at a time. Neither do I. So if the sheets need to be washed, then I might as well wash my clothes and the towels.
I eat healthier.
She doesn’t count. But for real, my dietary habits when in a relationship are the opposite of when I’m roaming the land of singledom. It’s not like I just date Whole Food chicks that beat me over the head with free range chickens and granola. I simply watch my diet. Another thing is that it’s much easier to eat healthy when there are 2 of you. Quality food products ain’t cheap. Third, I hate being scorned about my love for cheesesteaks, halal, and Taco Bell. Lastly, I can make a much more convincing case for regular oral extractions with kid containment if I’ve turned myself into a walking antioxidant smoothie.
I work out more.
I don’t wanna be the dude that falls off because he has a girl. I also don’t wanna be picking my stomach up off her back. That sh*t ain’t cool to me. And I have this fear of getting involved with someone that looks fine/healthy today and then when I blink she turns into a Klump. It’s a lot easier to motivate someone to work out when you’re doing the same.
I dress better.
Nearly every casual shirt I own that gets regular compliments was picked or influenced by a woman. In a relationship, I’m looking to her for fashion checks and balances. I hate shopping. I really f*cking do. Just get me my size, send me to the dressing room, tell me it’s cool, then push me to the register. I love you sideways for it later.
I go out and do more sh*t.
Partially because she wants to and partially because I want to without her.
I’ll close with a message to the fellas avoiding relationships like the plague: Women are like vegetables. Sometimes you don’t wanna eat ’em, but deep down you know they’re good for you. Having one really might make you better in ways you didn’t even think about. So think about it.
But yeah, these are just a few examples for me. What about you? Do you find that you operate better in relationships? Are there things you normally suck at (pause) that improve when you have a significant other or vice versa? All other thoughts are welcome.
Keeping it light,
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