Home Featured 3 Increasingly Lame Blog Rebuttals

3 Increasingly Lame Blog Rebuttals

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A tired rebuttal isn’t an ace in the hole, it’s an…

The best thing about the sex & relationship blog niche is the discussion. It’s the only niche that brings out men and women in such great numbers to share their thoughts in the same place. Regardless of if you’ve never had a boo or an earth shattering orgasm, sex and relationship talk is universally relatable. Discussions on which hair product reduces frizz the most or why one rapper’s punchlines are better than another’s, on the other hand, are not. So basically, it makes sense that this is what people choose to talk about. If you think I’m setting the scene for me to start b*tching about how we don’t wanna come together (ll) to discuss anything else, fear not.

Let’s face it though. Men run most of the popular sex and relationship sites in our vacuum of the blogosphere.  Both sexes come to our e-homes to read our perspectives, to challenge their and our thinking, to join the discussions, to be entertained, and in some cases to learn. Sometimes readers jump onboard, raise their hands, and get a case of the “holies” in the aisle because they agree so enthusiastically. Other times, and for some writers more than others, they boo, hiss, and march into the comments section with the Buffalo Soldiers.

The cosigns are what they are, but the disagreement is what makes things interesting. And with the thousands (**The Rock voice** AND THOUSANDS) of comments I’ve had the opportunity to read, I’ve noticed a distinct and growing pattern in the accidentally humorous rebuttals of some women. It’s Monday and I don’t feel like being deep and thought-provoking, so let me talk to you about 3 of them in a hybrid hyperbolic-real world context.

See Also:  Do This or Else: 5 Reasons Men Hate Ultimatums in Relationships

“You’re a misogynist” or “If a woman did that…”

Chicken-egg or egg-chicken. You pick. This is my new favorite rebuttal that’s appearing more and more frequently in response to a man’s opinion on just about anything that can involve women. It goes a little something like this:

Dude: I like to eat all my french fries before my burger and then the 2 apple pies after a sip of coke.
Chick: Oh, if a woman did that, you’d have a problem with it.
Dude: What? You’re wilding. Who said anything about what a woman should do with her fries?
Chick: Oh, you don’t care about our fries rights? You’re a misogynist!

OR

Dude: I couldn’t date a woman that’s against giving me a sloppy floppy.
Chick: Oh, so her being on her knees is a prerequisite for dating? She gotta be able to cook too?
Dude: I mean Steak and BJ Day is real. It’s on The Google. The day is pointless without the whole shebang.
Chick: Disgusting. You clearly don’t respect women. Misogynist.

“You hate yourself.”

There have been a lot of articles over the past couple of years that have drawn comparisons between Black women and White women. Black men have expressed dating preferences and the logic behind their thought processes regardless of how unsavory they may have been. And for the record, I know that some of these articles have been written with the sole intent of creating a firestorm. But sometimes, I think people hear an opinion they don’t like and attempt to justify it like this:

See Also:  Revisiting a Classic: What's Your Love Language?

Dude: White women are so nice to me.
Chick: Oh, and Black women aren’t?
Dude: I never said that. It’s just been my experience that White women are nicer to me.
Chick: Maybe if you didn’t hate yourself so much you’d see that Black women are nice too.
Dude: Wow. This isn’t just about Black women. What about Latinas—
Chick: Grrrr. Stop turning your back on your people!

“You’re insecure.”

This one is probably the most classic of them all. “You’re immature” gives it a run for its money. Insecurity is responsible for a lot of the problems that we have in our relationships. No doubt about that. But if I choose to express my thoughts on why I’m against dating someone that had a dorm room nickname in college or is close friends with her former booty buddies, why does it have to turn into this:

Slim: Yeah, I’m not really trying to date a chick that’s still good friends with her former mates of varying statuses.
Chick: Stop being so insecure. You’re just worried that one or all of them was bigger.
Slim: Actually, not at all. Don’t make me whip it out. I just don’t want my girl regularly in contact with a bunch of dudes that have seen her naked and/or had their paninis pressed by her pleasure pocket. Is that a crime?
Chick: A crime of jealousy and insecurity.
Slim: I’m gonna write a post about you and when you ask me if it’s about you, I’m gonna deny it and say it was based on a friend.

See Also:  Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

So these are just three of the common rebuttals I see thrown out there nowadays in response to what we have to say on certain topics. In all seriousness though, where do folks draw the line with these being legitimate arguments? Are there other arguments out there nowadays that you hear or read that have become tired? Aside from what I mentioned, are there other reasons people seem to be leaning on these rebuttals at a growing rate?

Rebuttingly Tired,

P.S. Don’t forget to check out my personal blog, The Real Slim Jackson, where I literally say whatever is on my mind.

Comment(114)

  1. "Slim: I’m gonna write a post about you and when you ask me if it’s about you, I’m gonna deny it and say it was based on a friend."

    LMAO! I knew it!!

    I so feel you on these cop outs. No doubt they are real and applicable sometimes; it's the tendency to immediately default to these go-to rebuttals to the exclusion of any other that makes me hate myself and feel like an insecure feminist.

    #SWIDT

    1. Oh, and if I never hear, "what you won't do, other women will" again it will be too soon.

      Let em do it! I'll not compete with every triflin' skank on the planet to get a man. Ummm, have you seen two girls, one cup? Disgusting.

      While we're at it, "that's why you're single" can die a painful, embarrassing death on youtube too.

      1. I was thinking about that as I was writing my comment post… I am glad you beat me to it…

        My bro put me on to that… watched 5 second of it, and had to turn it off…

        It is a great video to watch to build up your masculinity…

  2. Yeah its time to delete all rebuttals that say "you're being defensive","stop being sensitive", and "you're insecure" because the second you reply you justify their played out defense

  3. Why do all these arguments have to come from women? Are you insecure, misogynist who hates himself? LOL (I kid).

    It's just the classic argument technique: If you have nothing to say, place the blame on the other person, no matter how ridiculous the argument.

    Didn't Kevin Hart make a joke about men doing the same thing when arguing with women?

    "Be Loud. Say what you gotta say..then walk out."

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZcCog-G7SI

  4. Anything regarding physical attraction is always on a show and prove basis. Apparently 'average' and ugly people never have sex or get into relationships!

    There's the ol' generalization vs. exception to the rule. Of course we speak in generalizations, we're not doing a scientific study. Just because you know 2 or 3 people that are the opposite of what the conversation is about doesn't mean the generalization is false. It actually validates it. By virtue of it being a generalization there will be exceptions.

    1. Yessssss.

      It is not possible to talk in specifics on a large scale.

      I totally find myself saying in my head, "I'm not like that" or "who are you dating?" but then you gotta breathe and realize that other people's experiences are different from yours…

    2. "There’s the ol’ generalization vs. exception to the rule. Of course we speak in generalizations, we’re not doing a scientific study. Just because you know 2 or 3 people that are the opposite of what the conversation is about doesn’t mean the generalization is false. It actually validates it. By virtue of it being a generalization there will be exceptions."

      THANK YOU. Folks gotta realize that you can't take everything you read personal, especially if said blogger doesn't PERSONALLY know you. All you can do is offer an alternative, but to completely disregard their experiences ain't fair. And, yeah, generalizations must be made… because realistically, mofos can't be like "6,49497.85 women, but only on a Sunday, and most are from this country, [insert other specific details that don't mean shat and take away from the topic being discussed] eat salads on first dates."

  5. Awwww this wasn't foolish at all. I cosign on everything that you said. There are just some women who like flapping their mouth for nothing else but words. I think if they put it to other use they would realize that they have a new skill set. On another note you are wrong for your, "Google" comment. I am in tears still.

  6. Yeah, bruh, those are easy rebuttals that often "hold no water". It's like somebody wrote a bad script and then handed it out to be memorized and recited. lol

    Oh, and my personal favorite is…

    "You're just intimidated by a strong (black) woman!"

    Ummm, okay.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-315900">

      UrbanMecca:

      Oh, and my personal favorite is…

      “You’re just intimidated by a strong (black) woman!”

      I cringe every time … The first thing that pops in my head after that quote is "HEAUX…", but instead i just clinch my teeth and smh. Poor attitudes aren't intimidating, they're annoying.

    2. “You’re just intimidated by a strong (black) woman!”

      Everytime a black woman says this, a lil white baby angel gets their wings…

    3. You’re just intimidated by a strong (black) woman!”

      Wait!!! Sistas are still dropping this header in 2011? *smh*

  7. "Slim: Yeah, I’m not really trying to date a chick that’s still good friends with her former mates of varying statuses.

    Chick: Stop being so insecure. You’re just worried that one or all of them was bigger."

    women can't comprehend the amount of disrespect that goes into another male 'being around' your girl. All this 'He is just my friend' nonsense needs to stop. That dude is disrespecting me and scheming on the buns and if you want to be with me you can't let some dude disrespect me still flirting on BBM. i know what goes on in his head.

    A couple of years ago wifey made me feel bad. She said "I gave up all my male friends for you. I use to have good friends. Blah Blah Blah." It actually cut like a knife b/ she had lost male friends b/c of me and I never wanted to be that type of boyfriend who made his wifey sacrifice what she didn't have to. Than I realize… dem ninjas where some fcuk boys and they lucky I never beat their ass cold. Coming out their mouth talking about she could do better, pulling out their D and flashing her, waiting for every fight we had to come over and chill AND THEY NEVER MADE A MOVE ON HER BEFORE SHE KNEW ME! I'm sorry to my boo, but those soft dudes HAD to go. Go be male friends with my ninjas who I trust..

    1. This is an interesting discussion in itself. It doesn't have to be a sacrifice if done properly…or it shouldn't feel like a sacrifice at all if the relationship is important enough. Men be lurking in real life. So do chicks. Sometimes they just got to go from the picture.

    2. <blockquote cite="comment-315904">

      CHeeKZ:

      Go be male friends with my ninjas who I trust..

      Mmmmmhhhhh … Wish that was a fail-safe move, but these days you never know … you never know. Some friends will continue communication with your ex-boo, while you were the only link b/w the two.

    3. <blockquote cite="comment-315904">

      CHeeKZ: women can’t comprehend the amount of disrespect that goes into another male ‘being around’ your girl.

      I think this is an age thing. My daddy told me long ago, no man WANTS to be my friend. They might sit in the friend zone but when they get the opportunity, they'll try to get out of it. I tested it and he was right. Not only were the men waiting for an opening, they would try to offer advice that would have me single and available.

      1. Speaking from my own experience, its not that dudes are waiting for the opportunity its that when you know someone its just natural to have a level of attraction in most cases. I want waiting gor my fiancee to get single before we got together but I want opposed to getting with her when the opportunity presented itself. I dont think a nifer of women know this difference.

        1. let me ask you a question my dude.. man to man.

          Before she became the love of your life… you are fantasy about her? With or with out the aide of Baby Oil?

      2. <blockquote cite="comment-315915">

        Ms. Smart: Not only were the men waiting for an opening, they would try to offer advice that would have me single and available.

        I'm doing the same thing right now to this bad Jamaican Redbone. Talk to me about your marriage is just giving a slime more ammunition to use in my effort to pump up her pum pum.

        1. <blockquote cite="comment-315944">

          CHeeKZ Money:

          let me ask you a question my dude.. man to man.

          Before she became the love of your life… you ever* fantasy about her? With or with out the aide of Baby Oil?

          Idk why, but for some reason I literally laughed out loud … Smh … My bad

    4. Man my fiancee used to get rid of all her male friends and out pissed me off. Theres are dudes shes known for years and she would just disappear when she got into a relationship. Then she would be on that whole not getting along with females kick so that left me being the sole source of entertainment. I'm glad she has gotten out of that for the most part

    5. "Why beat around the bush, when you can beat the bush"

      This is how I feel most of my male "friends" think. And if they do, I understand why my man wouldn't want me around them. It's about respect, not insecurity. But believe if you want me to distance my male friends, I expect the same. No, "she like my little sister, it aint even like that" Sorry Bro.

  8. Googles Steak and BJ day (why the fcuk didn't I know about that)…. Well I'll be damned…

    S'more favorites

    – You are a hater of (insert random topic you disagree)

    – You are agnostic, atheist, satanist, Catholic(j/k) if you question anything written in the good book.

    – You are homophobic when you express dislike for LGBT culture

    Can I Live?

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-315910">

      DeKeLa: You are homophobic when you express dislike for LGBT culture

      It goes beyond expressing dislike. They've got great PR. To have a discussion on the biological implications of being born with an attraction that doesn't cause reproduction is so taboo. That's not dislike, that's observation and discussion.

    2. @DeKeLa

      So agree the word hater is the reason there are so many thinking they have talent (singers, rappers wanna be models) when that is not the case.

      Wanna Be rapper: You listen to my song

      You: ok (listens to song) its alright but personally I think its wack come better

      Wanna Be Rapper: What you a hater Bi*ch and that’s why you don’t have a man

      Or

      Wanna Be model: Girl look at my pictures do you think they cute for a modeling agencies

      You:ok (looks at pictures all of them are taken in her bathroom with her ass cheek up on the sink with tooth paste stains and her lips poked out )Uhhh girl I think you should take some different pictures were you not so naked for a modeling agency if you want to be big like Tyra

      Wanna Be Model: You don’t like my pictures… Man you a hater cause you not cute like me and wish you could model

      “You are homophobic when you express dislike for LGBT culture”

      While I know some people who express their dislike do it in a manner that is just disrespectful and hateful. Everyone who doesn’t agree with what that community does shouldn’t be labeled homophobic. As long as I respect you as a human being it shouldn’t matter if I don’t agree with your life style choices.

  9. Wait. I think an honorable mention has to go to, "Blah, blah, blah, I learned a new word and shall apply it to everything…Patriarchy…Blah, blah, blah…"

  10. Usually any response that starts with "well the bible says…" Turns me off completely. Wer weren't discussing the bible! I more than likely already know what their argument will be and can quickly poke holes in it

  11. I love how your creative transcripts so thoroughly support your statements. Hilarious.

    Misogyny, self-hate, and insecurity are real issues though and it's negative impact (on males in particular) is often understated. I recognize this may not be the venue to deal with them seriously, but just thought I'd add that.

    1. I agree with this. They are real issues, but they get diluted and lost in the sauce because they're so commonly used as scapegoats and excuses. This is the venue to discuss these things. I just didn't have the energy to put together an in-depth post. Maybe in the near future.

  12. I love a good debate, so by nature I’m going to have a rebuttal. I just want to know the mythological bitter, angry, insecure, crazy, black-men hating women that you guys keep running into. I look at myself and all my friends and wonder where these women exist in such high numbers. So when I say “Not all women are like that” it’s honestly speaking from personal experience. I frequent these blogs because I want to see the male perspective and learn from it. I’m trying to become a better RxBeauty and not be so clueless when it comes to men. Plus I normally get a good laugh from the comments section.

      1. Because I'm a newbie and I'm not here to start any trouble. I also take constructive criticism very well. I'm here to learn.

    1. Sweetheart,

      I am a huge softie… And I love to fight with pillows, so let me address you for a little while…

      Where do you live… (I live in NYC)

      Now, when first came onto SBM, and I was going in on BW… The Most Interesting Man In The World (Most), told me that the BW single friends he had were the "BOMB"…

      Now, if any moderately beautiful woman is single in NYC, that is a redflag right there… With men that can also be the case… But men have to approach most of the time… Unless a woman REALLY wants you, she not going to take a chance… But ugly women turns down her share of guys on a daily basis, almost sometimes altering her routes to work/school/grocery store… So for a woman to be single in her s*xual prime… You got issues dude

      Now, in NYC, the BW suck… The older ones are alittle better… But some of those are in extended adolescence… Obviously the more beautiful/voluptuous a woman is, chances are she is a b*tch… I understand some of her frustration with men… But b*tch, you have been blessed with a beautiful body… Make the most of it, because when that sh*t starts fallin' off, you would have wish you would have learned some wifey behavioral traits & a personality…

      Now, assuming RXBeauty, you & friends are who say you are (Sweet, Supportive, Womanly), these kinds of American BW are RARE in NYC… & from what I hear from some of the BM around the country, they are rare over there too…

      And guess what, when I meet some of these BW, they are either married, in a relationship, or maybe just broke up, but have men scheming on the buns…

      And yes, women like Teflon Temptress, SmartFoxGirl & Maxine do get married… but rarely do they make good wives…

      If you want to be a better BW… The best lesson is to learn what NOT to do… so here…

      https://www.singleblackmale.org/2011/03/01/i-love-

      1. Sigh, I guess I can give you some background on myself.

        I was born and raised in the south. At 18 I was married with a kid, and right now at 24 I’m divorced and living in the DMV. When my ex left I took time to look at the things I did wrong in the marriage as well as what he did. I didn’t walk out into the street and belittle every man because one hurt me. I dusted myself off and became a better parent, daughter, friend, student, and humanitarian.

        Now I’m not going to lie and say all my friends are models. But all my friends are attractive, sweet women who are looking for love. I realize that I am a wonderful person on my own, but I want that support and companionship that a relationship offers. I look at the beautiful relationship that my parents build, and I know I am worthy of having the same. I want to build a life with someone and show my child what love and a healthy marriage looks like. Most of my friends have the same values and morals as me, so I wonder why are they still single. So I decided to get a man’s perspective, which led me to this blog.

        I’ve been hurt before, but I don’t let the mistakes of others determine my future with someone new. If there are things that I need to change in order to make me better, then I’m all ears. I’ve always been more of a lover than a fighter. However, when the gloves come off I go for blood. So I choose my battle wisely. I respect the opinions of other’s enough to agree to disagree. I guess I can only vouch for myself and my friends when I say there are good women out here.

      2. Adonis, you live in America, where divorce rates are hovering around 50%! Stop making out like being married is the most important achievement a black woman could accomplish. Did you know that 75% of divorces are filed by the wife? Wanna know why? A lot of women will fall for that kind of pressure, get married and discover what they'd known all along during their single days…a lot of men aint shit! Take you for example. You will make some woman 'wifey' someday, (most likely a black woman, because despite that black-woman hating persona that you give off, chances are you don't have the resources that a black man needs to snag a white woman) and think you're doing her favor but she'll probably divorce your ass sooner or later. Like I said, 75%!

        ***waits for the "that's why you're single, because you're an angry, bitter, black woman and no one wants to marry you" rebuttal*** sigh

        1. Morning…

          If your singleness isn’t an issue… WHY DO YOU KEEP BRINGING IT UP… If everything was smooth… Then you would be silent on the issue…

          But you do come off bitter & shyt, but that is not important here…

          Stop spreading false propaganda saying I hate BW… I don’t… I hate the lack quality of BW I have to choose from… And because of that extended reality… I would rather go WHITE…

          Now… as far as resources are concerned… WW do have higher standards, so I applaud them… But I am looking to FyCK them, not take care of them…

          So, Kat, sweetheart, I will keep you updated on my WW pursuits… my e-mail is [email protected]

          Oh, and get you some dyck, maybe 2-3 #TeamDP

  13. <blockquote cite="comment-315896">

    Malik: generalization vs. exception to the rule. Of course we speak in generalizations, we’re not doing a scientific study. Just because you know 2 or 3 people that are the opposite of what the conversation is about doesn’t mean the generalization is false. It actually validates it. By virtue of it being a generalization there will be exceptions.

    This. It's funny when you cite a source and present statistics stating, "95% of people are _____", then someone inevitably replies with "I'm not like that, and neither are any of my friends!" Well congratulations on being in the 5%, but that doesn't change the reality of the situation.

        1. Smh … I wanna say four: Cheeky, CheeKZ, Cheekie, and Cheekz ____

          Guess ya just missin the Lil, Yung, Young, and Big now.

  14. Off Topic

    There was alot of bloodshed in New York State this weekend… (Condolences) Besides maybe Cali & Miami, New York has shown me that nowhere is 100% safe… Your beaches ain't safe, your drug stores ain't safe, & obviously (I doubt I will ever go to some random black) house parties in dangerous parts of Brooklyn are not Kosher

    I need to study Public Relations, because that White Man got that sh*t down to a science… I mean, this white guy yesterday shot up four people in a drugstore in cold blood… But Black Men can never seem to shake off the Heavyweight Murder Belt… I need to know how they do it…

    It just so happened that my body broke down on me & I was semi-bed ridden for the entire weekend, and I finally get to watch this show called "Taboo" on National Geographic… And to speed this up, they were doing a short special on this woman in San Diego who was addicted to anonymous s*x…

    There was a point where her addiction escalated where she said something along the lines of "The guys got weirder, places more randoms, the s*x acts more bizarre" with alittle bit of shame in her voice… I am sitting there with large eyes staring at the TV screen yelling

    "BUT YOU LOVED IT!!!"

    I just think White Men are into some wild sh*t, I'm not ignoring the maniacial sh*t my race does, I just don't think we give White Men enough credit for their contribution of perversion

    End Off Topic

    Morning,

    “If a woman did that…”

    For some strange reason I feel like there is a little bit of legitimacy to this statement… Although you used a ridiculous example, I need something that actually happened to speak more on this…

    I just know that women have lost their lives doing the same acts that man did & will continue to do…

    “You hate yourself.”

    In 10 years when the Interracial dating between BM/WW in America balloons to astronomical porportions, alot of BW wish they would have listen to Suki in 2011…

    WW are nicer BTW

    “You’re insecure.”

    The woman was actually right, you are insecure… Me too…

    I am not at that stage in my life where wifing ho*s is the cool thing to do… But there are men out there to accomodate those women… Go where your market is… I'll keep chasing my unicorn

    1. I have to say, I enjoyed this comment.

      As to the WW are nicer statement, there's some truth to that. But i'll put it like this;

      I was having a conversation with my boy about women in SE DC, and how they have a certain way about them. I'm from Uptown, so I didn't want to generalize, but I basically told him. Well, you have to know that women from SE are like those Vick pitbulls. They been fighting their whole life, they're constantly attacked, they're constantly used, abused and left for dead. That's why when you dealing wtih them, they just attack everything right away because they so used to being in a fight, they don't know nothing else.

      That's actually a very interesting point I made there and there might be a post that comes from it. That's sort of how Black women are. They been attacked, used, abused and left for dead so much that they are always ready for a fight. (Or they are intentionally submissive.) You can't even blame them, society made them that way it's sad. Only thing you can do is just point it out to them. Don't hesitate to keep saying:

      "Why does everything have to be an argument?"

      "I'm not attacking you, i'm just suggesting something different."

      "Stop screaming."

      "Everything is not a conspiracy."

      "I'm telling the truth."

      You get the picture.

      1. "That’s actually a very interesting point I made there and there might be a post that comes from it. That’s sort of how Black women are. They been attacked, used, abused and left for dead so much that they are always ready for a fight. (Or they are intentionally submissive.) You can’t even blame them, society made them that way it’s sad."

        This whole point is true, except the very last statement. Society didn't make them this way, black men did. Have you seen the men that black women have to deal with? As a non-African American male, I can truly give an outside perspective on how everyone views black men in America. Which group of women have to deal with as many deadbeat dads as black women in America? Which group of women are likely to end up with no-good, non-educated, jobless or minimum-wage making partners? Which group of women are likely to conduct their marriages from jail because chances are their men would end up there at some point? And finally, which group of women are more likely to end up being cheated on? Believe it or not, constantly dealing with these on a daily basis are likely to have a certain type of effect on people!

        The things that boggles my mind more than anything else is why black women continuously refuse to deal with any other group of men than their men. Sure, white women are nicer than black women, possibly. But it's not just white women though. Every other group of women in America, think Latinos, Africans, Asians, etc. are all arguably nicer than black women. And you know why? Look at their men. They all have their differences – men and women, always will. But men in other groups respect their women, show them love and support in public and settle their differences in private. If you think white women are nice, go to the hood and look at the white woman who has dealt with a black man all her life. She's not very nice.

        Sure, a lot of black men are screaming about interracial relationships and how they'd much rather deal with white women etc. etc. But if you're honest with yourselves, you'd realize that, that option is not open to 95% of black men. Just look at the black men who have white women. Unless you're Kobe Bryant, Seal, Lamar Odom or at least in college with the potential of making these people's kind of money, chances are you won't be adding to those interracial statistics. And you can scream about it in blogs all you want…. I'd also just like to say that in my community, the worst thing a girl could do is bring home a black guy. It's a no no….

        1. You what Sunny, you are right… Or at least, let us go by your perceived notions…

          If BM are so bad… why are BW dating them unilaterally… Nobody is forcing them to date one particular race of guy… There are doing it to themselves… So, you should be redirecting that anger toward BW for screwing their lives up with inferior men… (which happen to be black, cause, jerks come in all races…)

          Now, as for you, what are you doing to help the plight for all these troubled BW… Are you putting them on a ship & sending to a country where their services would be more appreciated… I mean, why are you so concerned as an Non-American Male (assuming non-black also…) about the plight of BW, if you plan to nothing about it, but annoy me & my fellow black brothers, who probably don't fit the diescription of the BM you speak of in your ill informed rant…

          Another thing… we negroes are on a different swag than the universe… who gives a sh*t about what the international community thinks of us…

          Black Men has never had a fair shake in America & never will…

          Next time on a blog you gonna ride out like that… say some sh*t worth repeating

          And when you have a daughter Sunni, I can't wait to when she turns 18, so I can turn that p*ssy out… Cause I know she'll love it…

        2. <blockquote cite="comment-316222">

          Adonis:

          Another thing… we negroes are on a different swag than the universe… who gives a sh*t about what the international community thinks of us…

          Black Men has never had a fair shake in America & never will…

          Next time on a blog you gonna ride out like that… say some sh*t worth repeating

          And when you have a daughter Sunni, I can’t wait to when she turns 18, so I can turn that p*ssy out… Cause I know she’ll love it…

          Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee … Well said young man.

  15. Here are some that kill me.

    1. If the number of chex partners or the man/woman chex double standard comes up you will always have a few women say this..

    Man: I don't want a chic that's been around like that. Of course we know you've had your fun but we ain't trying to wife Pinky.

    Her: As long as the other person tests clean why does it matter what happened in the past?

    Online it seems women are willing to date a man that put his peen anywhere as long as he is disease free.

    2. The woman that takes a select part of your comment and runs with it even though you addressed her issue in said comment.

    Man: SOME highly attractive women tend to have the personality of a door-knob. Of course there are exceptions to the rule but for the most part it holds true.

    Woman: So all highly attractive women are dumb and boring? How can you say all dimes don't have a personality?

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-315943">

      Humble_One: 2. The woman that takes a select part of your comment and runs with it even though you addressed her issue in said comment.Man: SOME highly attractive women tend to have the personality of a door-knob. Of course there are exceptions to the rule but for the most part it holds true.Woman: So all highly attractive women are dumb and boring? How can you say all dimes don’t have a personality?

      !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    2. <blockquote cite="comment-315943">

      Humble_One: Man: SOME highly attractive women tend to have the personality of a door-knob. Of course there are exceptions to the rule but for the most part it holds true.

      Woman: So all highly attractive women are dumb and boring? How can you say all dimes don’t have a personality?

      LOL! It is funny reading comments like this. You don't know if you should reply with #youmad or #learntoreadthewholearticlebeforecommenting.

  16. <blockquote cite="comment-315938">

    Starita34:
    HOL UP!

    We got THREE versions of Cheek commenting now?

    Oh SBM fancy, huh

    Oops…sorry. That was my first time commenting- didn't know that it was a repeat. I just knee-jerk responded to the above comment.

    *looks for another alias*

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-315950">

      Cheeky: Oops…sorry. That was my first time commenting- didn’t know that it was a repeat. I just knee-jerk responded to the above comment.

      *looks for another alias*

      Oh no, don't let me discourage your participation! Welcome Cheeky!! 🙂 Add a pic on gravatar.com and we'll be all gravy, no question which "one" you are 😉 I was just talking – I do that…you're cool.

        1. <blockquote cite="comment-315959">

          Starita34:

          Heeeeeeeeeey Cheeky!! How bought them legs sister! *cartoon wolf howl* Nice avi!

          Was thinking thee exact same thing…

  17. LOL this post made me chuckle.

    I just hate the lame copout of "this was poorly written" or "did not address the topic". How are you gonna tell a writer that their topic… didnt address the topic?! hats almost as asenine as the son being older than the pops in Dont be a Menace…

    Disagreement is always welcome, but don't try to discredit a dudes writing as a basis for your argument. You get no wins in this casa

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-315960">

      Streetz: How are you gonna tell a writer that their topic… didnt address the topic?!

      Sir.

      *hits you with the blankest of blank stares*

      And that's all I have to say about that.

  18. I hate, hate when we're discussing attractive women. Because there will always be that particular one to try to bait men in elaborating on what they mean even though we all know what we're referring to in the discussion. And then there's her counter-part that says 'everyone is pretty to someone'. No, stop it. The word becomes meaningless if it is applied to everyone. Everyone can't be funny, smart, good-looking, etc. These are qualitative words that mean what they mean because there are things better and worse than them.

    There is no need to write 'women deemed conventionally attractive by society' when 'pretty women' or any other shorter variations suffices. Stop being so sensitive. PLEASE believe the majority of the guys here have faced rejection where when it was said that we aren't exactly the *insert fantasy man here*.

    1. I see where you're coming from, but beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

      I think the issue is that for some men "pretty" is code for light skin/long hair. For some men "pretty" means a pretty face with no real reference to skin color. And this, "…try to bait men in elaborating on what they mean even though we all know what we’re referring to in the discussion." just amps up that "what the hayul do you REALLY mean?" factor. Don't act like you don't know some men who think a redbone mud duck is the bees knees.

      After a while you get familiar with the posters and you know what they mean when they say attractive or pretty.

      1. I'm not saying people don't have their own preferences. But that 'beauty in the eye of the beholder' is garbage. It reeks of 'everyone is a snowflake' sensibility when that's not true considering every single culture ever known on the planet Earth has a bar of aesthetics that is deemed attractive by the community at large.

        Not to mention, it almost always takes into consideration things other than what the person looks like. This is what you're supposed to do when considering a partner of course, but is rarely ever the type of point the blogger is talking about. The only reason it's ever brought up is to obscure the point and for the person to attempt to seem that they are not shallow or are a deeper person.

        1. <blockquote cite="comment-315978">

          Malik: Not to mention, it almost always takes into consideration things other than what the person looks like. This is what you’re supposed to do when considering a partner of course, but is rarely ever the type of point the blogger is talking about.

          This right here.

          I hate when we're talking about looks (aesthetics) and women people want to bring in personality. In my world, PERSONALITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW PRETTY A PERSON IS OR IS NOT. I think this is at the root of a lot of disagreements between men and women on the Internet when it comes to "pretty" or "attractive" discussions, not to mention the fact that it's all subjective.

          In other words, I think men can talk about attractive women all day long, wholly independent of their personality or anything beyond what greets the eye. Whereas women tend to take a more encompassing view of what defines beauty. Moreover, they (often) refuse to or simply cannot separate what greets the eye from what lies below.

          Whenever a woman begins a sentence with "She is pretty but…" I already know whatever comes after that "but" will likely be 50% ridiculous and 150% unrelated.

        2. This is one of those issues women KNOW in their hearts is true… But the denial is so deep… Get over yourself…

          They will private co-sign you, but not public…

    2. I agree. I made a comment about "pretty women" once and someone who considered themselves "cute" caught offense saying I executed "cute women." wha??? LOL #youknowwhoyouare

  19. Can we PLEASE get a comprehensive list of key words or phrases that sends our comments into moderation? I have no idea how people can write (Richard), (donkey), or (coitus), and their comments post just fine, but I don't have any bad words at all and I get sent to moderation.

    1. "I have no idea how people can write (Richard), (donkey), or (coitus), and their comments post just fine, but I don’t have any bad words at all and I get sent to moderation."

      Why do I picture King Joffee Joffur's jowls all a flutter saying this?? That avi is priceless!

  20. all these counterpoints are weak. its easy when someone states an opinion to be attack the character of that person instead of the argument itself. i really don't speak on it but when i see these type of comments it really bugs me. and i'm not even the author so i can imagine how y'all feel.

  21. Dudes who are single as a dolla bill hold the "that's why you're still single" or "if you want a ring" over a woman's head. Granted, I see women do that too but I see it more from men. It's like a single man is single by choice, a single woman is just a lonely man-hating confused person who will find an issue of Cat Fancy on her doorstep if she doesn't straighten up and fly right. Miss me with that logic.

    While we're at it, these same tender dudes are the first one to act like "wifey" is the biggest compliment you can give someone. "If you wanna be wifey…." If I want to be wifey I'll call Teddy Riley's nephew n'em. That sand box in the corner is for you, little one.

    And I'm surprised you didn't mention this, but that whole "If you're a REAL man…." probably has to go the way of the dinasoar as well. And since I'm guilty, I'll go head and file it away. For now, until I think it's appropriate again, lol.

    1. Thank you for offering this perspective from the other side of the table. A lot of folks went ghost today. Also, the "if you're a REAL man" is a great one. That one agitates me because it's like "who are you to say what a real man is?"

      1. They didn't get ghost, they're probably busy at the 9-5. I know I am, I'm taking some me time right now dangit. And I know that one agitates you. I've hit you with it several times over the years, and it never fails to piss you off, lol. *insert semi-sincere sorry face here*

    2. <blockquote cite="comment-315972">

      Teflon Temptress: Granted, I see women do that too but I see it more from men.

      This right here is what I read/hear from women ALL the time. Everything that isn't so great that both men and women do is always followed up by this statement. It doesn't matter what we are talking about.

      1. True. I be bout ready to put a Latrell Sprewell style choke hold on anyone whose only contribution is:

        "But men/ women/ cats/ dogs/ Whites/ Blacks/ Asians/ Mexicans/ Latinos/ East Cost/ West Coast/Europeans/ Intergalactic Aliens/ [insert the oppopsite of whatever you're talking about here] do that too."

    3. Dudes who are single as a dolla bill hold the “that’s why you’re still single” or “if you want a ring” over a woman’s head. Granted, I see women do that too but I see it more from men. It’s like a single man is single by choice, a single woman is just a lonely man-hating confused person who will find an issue of Cat Fancy on her doorstep if she doesn’t straighten up and fly right. Miss me with that logic.

      Some (Black) Women, are going to need some Purina & some Fresh Step with that Cat Fancy

      What difference would it make if I was booed up laughing at your a** because your stock is so low that no man wants to entertain… You would find something else to disqualify me with because you don't like my comments… Case Closed

      Now, you get mad at dudes for calling women out on their singleness… I think you need to address the women who keep going on TV looking stupid, wondering why they can't find a man… Thirsty for TV cameras…

      While we’re at it, these same tender dudes are the first one to act like “wifey” is the biggest compliment you can give someone. “If you wanna be wifey….” If I want to be wifey I’ll call Teddy Riley’s nephew n’em. That sand box in the corner is for you, little one.

      I think wifey IS the biggest compliment I can give to most girls… But again, girls put alot of value in their romantic relationships… When they stop, the hecklers will stop…

      Stop blaming men for your man troubles…

      1. The whole calling some one wifey is BS..i know guys think it makes gals feel all warm up inside..sorry to break it to you it does not!!!. if you want to call some one wifey..get with the real thing. My BF took to calling me that..and am so not into cliches..told him to stop(he reluctantly accepted)…yeah we are still together..he's awesome.

  22. Am I the only one who feels really sorry for that donkey in the picture? I just want to give it a hug and find some rope to hoist it out of there.

    #MotherhoodmademeCharminsoft

  23. I had a busy day today.

    The thing is that most people actually truly in their heart believe that me as a writer is all three or four of these rebuttals. So if I actually spent time to speak on this, i'd be leading the league in dislikes once again.

    All i'll say is that this is a funny game to play, because someone can say something completely disrespectful to you and you have to take it on the chin and not retaliate. Truth be told, a lot of readers take advantage of that. You call me misogynist, but can I call you a name too? Nope, because I might lose a few readers who get upset that I stoop to your level. Not many people actually think about that. I assume it's like an artist or comedian who has a disruptive person in the audience, there's not much you can do, but if you keep pushing them, one day they will go off.

    I've gone off on a few occasions, Slim, Streetz, WIM, SBM, RCLS, maybe not Most, but his day is coming. All that to say, it builds up over time when you constantly have insults shoved at you and then you just want to go to the mattresses. But you can't ever find a way to do that and not look like a jerk.

    1. *nods in agreement* The freedom of expression comes at a cost, eh?

      I think we've forgotten that 'active listening' must occur in whatever forum that we use to communicate. These rebuttals can easily be attested to laziness:

      – Too lazy to consider the other's point

      – Too lazy to ask follow up/clarifying questions

      – Too lazy to actually understand how an individual came to their POV

      – Too lazy to address the topic and NOT the person

      And my absolute favorite: too lazy to read for comprehension.

  24. Ionno. This post sounds whiny to me. I could understand if we were having policy debates and stuff on here, but like you said…. its a sex and relationship blog. Something ppl read and comment on while they're bsin on the job. If people wanna be "lazy" about their comebacks/rebuttals/dissenting opinions…. why not? Lol you're not paying them.

    I think many people come here as entertainment, not necessarily to engage and stimulating discussion, ragging on them for not using proper form of argument is a little silly. That would be like me ragging on the bloggers for their grammatical/spelling errors (of which there are a lot). Its a sex/relationship blog… not English class. Not that serious.

    I don't think I'm one of the offenders, but that's because I don't comment much. I do tend to disagree with most of the stuff posted here, but I appreciate the insight into the male mind, so I just lurk and read.I like Most the best. I think a lot of the other bloggers and quite a few of the commenters can be really inflammatory, one-sided and sexist.

    1. For the record, I totally come here for stimulating conversation, whether I agree with the post or not. If you want dancing jesters that's what World Star Hip Hop is for.

    2. That is because Most is female friendly… It Is What It Is…

      But I think I can be inflammatory (Life isn't fun without a little FIRE), one-sided (Nope, Not me) and sexist (I believe Men have roles & positions, & women have roles & positions…).

      I just want to see you run your household with equality (sideeye)

  25. I've always been too lazy to comment, but here goes:

    <blockquote cite="comment-315916">

    Starita34:

    Oh, and if I never hear, “what you won’t do, other women will” again it will be too soon.

    Let em do it!I’ll not compete with every triflin’ skank on the planet to get a man. Ummm, have you seen two girls, one cup? Disgusting.

    While we’re at it, “that’s why you’re single”can die a painful, embarrassing death on youtube too.

    Lmaooo…Hate this too. Another reader mentioned this too, but it's so tiresome when men (I say 'men, because to date another woman has not actually said this to me and I TRULY believe this to be a defense owed to some Entourage wanna be) give this retort. It's so easily thrown back in response to almost any and every issue a woman puts her foot down on or expresses a preference in regards to. (like on the previous post when people were so genuinely baffled that woman reserved head for marriage) I've been hearing this since high school and my first thought and eventual response has always been 'I'm sorry, is that supposed to scare me?'.

    Why are women supposed to be so afraid of being single? Why is that viewed as spinsterhood even in 2011?

    Am I really supposed to shadow box all these potentials, these phantom women of past, present, and future? Lol please! The fact of the matter is, forget about the skanks, but there will always be another woman (perhaps perfectly respectable!) who will be willing to do something I might not be willing to do. Even if it is something as innocuous as rubbing your feet. Coincidentally, there are also women who will let you beat them. How would I top that, short of letting you kill me, should I choose to compete? That there are other women goes without saying…so why this would seem a valid point, beats me.

  26. It seems like I will be running the nightshift again… The bullsh*t never stops…

    I think if women would thoroughly address their own psychosis…

    I could focus on improving BM & praising women…

    See you later…

  27. OMG!!! YOURE GOING TO LET SUNNIL SAY THAT!!?? AND NONE OF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY BACK TO THAT?? I thought this was singleblackmale.com, this has to be one of those "imposter" websites they warn people about…..

    1. You know I am not going to just let that pus$y get that off like that… Be patient… & Enjoy yourself… I hope you & Sunnil aren't the same person…

      Enjoy

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