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So Your Girl Said My Name While Ya Was Sexin

I know one thing, her man's name isn't Devon.

“There are three things you need to know about me, One, I believe in God. Two, I ain’t shit without you. And three, most importantly …  I ain’t shit without you.” – Lil’ Wayne.  And every time, I start writing I think of all y’all who continue to support me and my projects on the Internet.  So if I ain’t said thank you in a while, Thank You All.

With that said, this post is inspired from one of our readers.  They know who they are.

Long story short, a shorty said her ex man’s name while she was doing the #nassameanyaheard with the current dude.  And the current dude pulled an Electrik Red, and disappeared.


That didn’t have nothing to do with this, but it’s an excellent way to start a conversation. Now before we get into the post, I want to introduce some new ish to my posts. Dr. Jay and DJ Todd have put together a short mix just for this post.  A special treat, a nice mix; some old school and some new school.  You can stream “So You Said My Name While Ya Was Sexin” and keep reading, or download it here.

As soon as I read this email, I thought to myself, “NO YOU DIDN’T!”  Then I thought back to my collegiate days and I think I speak for all men in attendance today, there’s been a time when you woke up and looked to your left and said, “Whoa, swear I was laying next to someone else.”  Actually, I heard a crazy story the other day, my boy told me that he was sleeping with a girl who had a man and he made her yell out her man’s name each time he… well let’s leave that at that.  


Only thing I can say is, “sometimes it be’s like that, babe.”  I listened to DMX – How’s It Going Down, while writing this piece and remembered when he said, “Heard he smacked you ‘cuz you said my name while y’all was sexin’.  Ran up on this cat, thought was me, and started flexin’.”  So when you think about it, a lot of dudes would have resulted to blows after hearing another man’s name while he was trying to give you the business.  Only analogy I can give is that it’s like ordering a Whopper at McDonald’s.  #Freudianslip. In the grand scheme of things, it happens, but still you can’t let that rock out.  Would you seriously respect a dude who let that type of thing go?  Nope, and I wouldn’t either.  I could picture it now.

Jay: What’s good my dude?
Face: Nothing just chilling, let me tell you though, last night my girl said another man’s name when we was doing it.
Jay: Wow, your girl f*cking that guy tho.
Face: Naw, it’s her best friend, it was a slip, I acted like I ain’t hear it.
Jay: Oh I see what you mean, yeah, ain’t no reason to catch a dime over a pistol whipping.
Face: That’s what I’m thinking, plus you know I had told you I was ring shopping last week.
Jay: [Texts the hood, “This n[egro] Face is a b*tch.”]

Thing is, this opens up a few opportunities; you could tell your ex this happened and see what he says, he might try and get a new job, get his teeth fixed and get back right with you.  Also, and I say this from a good place, it’s the summer, time to get a new boo anyway.  I’d like to say there are things that you can do to get back with the guy, but it really isn’t.  Men go through this all the time though, so it happens, we date a girl, we think we got a good situation and then she just stops returning our calls, and don’t frequent the same places we used to go to.  This all ends with a text that says, “Please stop hitting me up.”  

(Random side note: The reason why dudes go text crazy is because they get upset because you won’t answer the text and they just got to keep texting until they get an answer.)

All this because she want a relationship, but when we met she said, “Nothing serious.”  #nochangingmindsgirl

That isn’t exactly what you’re going through, but it’s just to show you that sometimes situations end off messed up circumstance.  The best thing you can do is learn from it and move on to the next.  I mean, what can you do?  You can only rock out on a prayer that it will come back to you.  Maybe in a little while he’ll calm down and you can have a conversation and explain yourself.  A very interesting friend of mine said to tell him, “Stop fronting like you wasn’t thinking of Roxy Reynolds when you was with me.”  And I mean, if you got a trick up your sleeve like some uranium you keeping between your hips, then use that.  Most men have had good reasons to leave a woman alone and because of a good batch of uranium they bitched up and just stay in the moment, smoke some weed and drink some wine.

As for me, in this house, I couldn’t let that rock out. But I feel your pain.

More Information on, So You Said My Name While Ya Was Sexin’, Playlist:  how’s it goin down / sleepin in my bed / creep / freak like me / raining men | Download links, here or here.


  1. I'm not even going to lie. There are all sorts of things I can think of to say, but, honestly…it is what it is. Even if you're not even subconsciously thinking of the other dude like that, the fact that your mind could possibly be anywhere else during sex is just downright insulting, offensive to man and his pride.

    There really is no coming back from that. Theres no point in trying to apply feminine logic to it, a man just has to have his pride. I say this as a person who has more pride, I believe (and have been told) than the avg. Woman. As a woman, if I ever slipped up like that, id be upset by it…but I'd respect his decision to cold shoulder me. I'm sure I'd be traumatized enough that I sure as hell wouldn't make that mistake again lol

  2. So I'm gonna de-lurk for this post. This one hits close to home. My SO and I have been together for 6 years. Before actually becoming a couple, we were friends with benefits. There was a lot of sexual tension for months before we actually slept together. Long story short: after months of roaming in the same circles and hanging out, we both had one too many drinks and ended up having s*x. I don't remember much about that night. But I was told months later that I called out another man's name in bed.

    Needless to say, I was mortified. In my defense, I was 19 and had only slept with one other person before him. My drunken self called out the name of the man I lost my V-Card to. I don't think I ever bothered giving my BF that as an explanation. In my mind there was no explanation that was going to make saying another man's name in bed even remotely ok. However, since we were sleeping together regularly in the months following my faux pas, I figured I had a chance at coming back from that..

    Indeed I did. Six months later we were an official couple and we have been going strong ever since. Lucky me!

    1. Well first congratulations on the new man lol

      And yea situation is a little more understandable you were drunk and that wasn’t your man yet so he probably figure he let it rock once and not anymore. Plus you lost your v-car to the other guy and you were drunk so old memories probably just popped up, its not like you been with no one else so It would be a little natural to think of your first just a little before starting a new sexual relationship with someone else (not for everyone but for some people)

      Most men are going to assume if you are yelling out other names you are either a) screwing that dude already b) thinking about screwing that dude. I would be a little offended if my man said another girls name with me I would also wonder if my man was cheating. So I can see how a guy might not be please with this or at least just shrug it off when his girl does it.

  3. I know I wouldn't be cool with my guy calling another girl's name so I'm not even going to pretend like it would be ok if I did it.

  4. Yeah, I've never done that and never had it happen. That would take the cake for Awkward Azz Moments in Bed, lol. And I've had some awkward azz moments in bed my friend. Can you say…mid-coitus charlie horse? Yaaaaaay 30's!

      1. You know you dead wrong. Did you at least make sure she was ok? My man massaged in some Icy Hot, gave it an hour and we went back to it. You gotta show that you care!

    1. "Can you say…mid-coitus charlie horse? Yaaaaaay 30′s!"

      this has happened on numerous occasions in my 20s. that's what i get for trying to work out after working out.

    2. I got a Charlie Horse or two before, you have to stay hydrated and eat bananas, pause.

      Awkward moments in bed,

      1) when a chick says I love you, but you don't say it back

      2) when a chick cries

      3) when your Jordan 5s are still on your feet

      4) breaking the bed

      5) bebe's kids; that's when you let it go, but you don't have a hold on it, it just goes wherever and it might end up in the wrong place. chicks do not like when it's in their eye.

        1. I think I was like 8 when I was that game… Jordan looked like a slithering snake every time he went of for a jumpshot… Made 38 points tho…

          Even better is that you referenced him

      1. I actually take pride in making a chick cry … Idk what it is … it's the ultimate aww moment … And i'm not talking pain cry, i'm talking emotion cries. Only happened with 3 ladies tho. My ex started doin that ish randomly after we broke up and kept things goin … i got used to it, but the weird thing is that it would happen right after i gave us free. That sudden rush of emotion is crazy.

  5. This has happened to me, BUT under a different circumstance. She called out her bf's name, while we were smanging. That ain't even my girl and it through me off … I wanna say i kept making all the necessary moves, but i think the next 10-15 strokes my dome was hemorrhaging a lil. Anyways, we talked about it after we finished and I was just on some … "Yeah just don't do that ish again, but at the same time DO NOT SAY MY NAME when ya smanging. Matter fact, just don't say no names at all. Say "baby", "daddy", whatever." My feelings weren't hurt, but it just interrupted my thought process as were grinding. Anyways, yeah it is what it is … hopefully i don't have any cat comin at me sideways out of nowhere (but not really) cuz his girl effed up and said my name. Anyways, its best that he just deal with that internally cuz he don't want……….

    *Good Day Folks*

    1. This is a good point, I don't know why chicks have to say a name or talk about love during sex.

      But what about those chicks who ask you questions, "P*ssy ain't supposed to come with a pop quiz." – Kain.

    2. “Yeah just don’t do that ish again, but at the same time DO NOT SAY MY NAME when ya smanging. Matter fact, just don’t say no names at all.

      WORD & Please

  6. if a guy actually approached me like my girl called ur name during sex…i think besides mentally high fiving myself and wondering if maybe she put him on to a "patent pending" move of mine i would just find it too funny prolly he would wanna swing on me

  7. Ive never done this or experienced it, but I can image that I would either be embarrassed or pissed. I'd definitely give the cold shoulder so can't be mad if a dude cant or wont bounce back from it. On a completely different note though, I want that mix!! *turns up Dru Hill station on Pandora*

    1. I'm glad you all like the mix. Creep makes dudes get right with their lady. More dudes have been inspired to call their lady after hearing that song, than any other song in the history of music.

      1. Clearly someone hasn't heard Tank's 'Maybe I Deserve' (chopped & screwed is the worstest!)

        Be having a no-good-brother on the verge of #RealTears singing in the shower off key, misty eyed waiting for her to reply to his text.

        *pounds the shower wall*

        "oooooh, laaawd, LAAAAWD, Maybe I deserveeee!"

        1. "Be having a no-good-brother on the verge of #RealTears singing in the shower off key, misty eyed waiting for her to reply to his text*pounds the shower wall*

          “oooooh, laaawd, LAAAAWD, Maybe I deserveeee!".

          I just had to excuse myself out of class just to LOL real hard in the restroom.

        2. <blockquote cite="comment-316092">

          WisdomIsMisery: Clearly someone hasn’t heard Tank’s ‘Maybe I Deserve

          Be having a no-good-brother on the verge of #RealTears singing in the shower off key, misty eyed waiting for her to reply to his text.

          *pounds the shower wall*

          “oooooh, laaawd, LAAAAWD, Maybe I deserveeee!”


  8. I love the playlist as a new addition, thats dope.

    To my knowledge no man has ever done this to me…but I can think of times when I ALMOST slipped up and said another mans name. :- /

  9. one time i was talking with my ex. we weren't having sex but having a regular conversation about something mundane. she called by the guy who she dated right before. i immediately called her on it. i should have dipped though because i found out later on she was f*cking said dude. sometimes those slip ups aren't as innocent as they seem.

    1. #MartinBoysHug


      This never happened to me, but i'm sure you felt a certain of way. A lesser man might have hit a woman over this. Ain't nothing like finding out that his lady was f*cking another dude. That phone conversation must have been real though. "B*tch you f*cking him. Do I go to holla his name?!"

  10. I’m just happy I’ve never been in that predicament. I honestly would be so embarrassed that I would leave. As a woman I think it would hurt my ego a little if he called out another name. There really is no explanation or comeback after that.

  11. I am so glad I'm not a name yeller. I'm all about the "baby" and the "ohmahgawd"s. Seriously, if a man yelled out another woman's name in bed with me I don't see how I could get past it. I'd forever be wondering who he's thinking about when he's with me. It would ruin the whole vibe.

  12. Never been in that situation before and honestly I can't see it flying right if it ever was to happen.

    Yes, grant it we all tend to think/fantasize about someone else beneath or on top of us at some point especially when in a long committed relationship but you don't ever ever ever ever verbalize it unless dude is into that — that's how chicks get choked.

    1. but you don’t ever ever ever ever verbalize it unless dude is into that — that’s how chicks get choked.

      Really…? Do have any real world examples…? You gotta school the young one over here…

      1. Some men are into asking chicks, "which one of my boys would you ____ if you could" during thrusting it's like a fantasy game, she says name.. then SPLAT!!!


        1. Don't guy also make girls do real perverted sh*t then put them in h*e category, when pretty much she was in the running as a serious girlfriend

        2. Depends on the girl. Some men treat women like hoopties. They push them as far as they can go and then they get a new one after the damage has been done. Others treat them like Maybachs, they never want to drive it, but they wash it every Saturday morning.

  13. yeah I haven't done this, but I have COME CLOSE. I had a convo not too long ago on twitter with someone who has done this. I wouldve flinched like sh*t cuz I just feel like that is dangerous behavior!

    however in regular convo I say wrong names all the time, I call it early old age–I got it honestly from my mother and grandmother who would call me 4 about different people's names–their sisters/daughters before actually getting to mine. smh.

    1. "yeah I haven’t done this, but I have COME CLOSE."

      you aren't getting off with that vague story. Exactly how was this mistake almost made?

  14. I haven't been in this situation before. Knowing me, i'm the type to stop what im doing, put on my clothes, and BOUNCE upon hearing that name. Too much pride. Im not laying pipework for you to say the next nikkas name. chilll

  15. When me and my man had a brief separation, I thought about him all the time while sexing the other dude. I made a GREAT effort not to ever say his name though cuz it would have been like admitting that I still loved/cared about him. I tried it a few more times with random dude but I just couldn't stop thinking about my ex. I told the random dude that I thought about my ex a few times and he said he didn't care cuz I wasn't with the ex anymore, I was with him and he was going to make me forget about him. LOL! Funny how men think their penis can change a woman's mind about so much right??? Anyway, me and random dude fell off over time. Probably cuz he was a little weak in the sack but I think it was because I finally realized that he was NEVER going to make me forget about the ex so I killed it. Needless to say, I'm back with my man and his is the only name I call out now. Honestly though, I thought about random dude once while with my man but then my man hit a spot only he knows how to hit and all thoughts of randomness went out the damn window! Saying all that to say, sex with women is emotional and if she's calling out another mans name, its probably because shes thinking about having sex with him (or thinking of a time she already had sex with him and can't get it off her mind).

    1. I would like to examine this brief separation a bit deeper.

      This is why I don't believe in taking a break. If you take a break with a shorty, she'll probably pound another dude in between. It may not be as good as you, and it might convince her that she wants to be with you instead, but she still pounded dude.

      I tell you one thing, a lot of people think Quinn is a jerk for not marry Stacey Dash on Single Ladies, but Quinn got the best breakup s*x I ever seen on TV.

  16. Once, an ex whom I had recently started jonesing with texted "i love you _______ ______" Insert my first and last name to his most recent ex. He then proceeded to call me the devil for his slip up. Idk how she rebounded from that. But he's always been super honest with her about his feelings for me, they are married now and to this day he will not hesitate to say some 'thats how i feel and it wont change' shit to her, but its caused her to live in constant fear of me messing things up for her. Luckily for her AND myself, that is a bridge I will never cross.

    1. Wait!!!

      So he texted "I love you trueprototype" to his most recent ex who he is now married too? o__O

      Ohhh. Okay then.

  17. I never been in this situation frm either end (knock on wood) but I kno I would be PISSED if my man or guy I'm dealing with called out another's shorty's name ..

  18. wow. I agree with Streetz. I'll get up and leave. Condom still on.

    I'd admit, part of it is pride but it's also about the person not being mentally involved. Let's be honest chex is mental. If you're my lady and your mind is elsewhere then there's no excuse for that. Why do it if you're actively mentally elsewhere? That's NOT cool. Call out a another dude's name, you might as well be f*cking him. Hence, that's how I'll treat it.

    1. That's because there are various ways that sexual intercourse goes down, you know?

      At times, a dude and/or chick are just trying to get a nut. That's when you these slip ups occur mostly because someone is pushing their mind to connect on something to get them back to the place where they can get that nut. So you have a difference between; f*cking, having sex, and making love. And depending on how you connect with those, then your mental psyche is all messed up.

  19. This whole post is a great look into the mad scientist mind that belongs to Dr. J. First off, the music. I heard DMX come on and started to chuckle. You're right. Face is a bitch. Tis All.

  20. (Sidenote: Writing this comment post from top to bottom, brings me to all kinds of awkwardness internally)

    That DMX ish was a beautiful ballad with dope lyrics…

    But I need to listen to "Next 2 You" with Chris Brown & The Bieber to complete this comment

    This would seem like a topic that I would have a riveting story to tell,

    BUT I DON'T!…

    Because I don't like to put women under surveillance… & restrict their movements… I believe in cheat-proofing my girlfriends…

    – Best S*xual Partner

    – Best Boyfriend (READ: Be Attractive, Be Irresistible)

    – Money is irrelevant, even with the money-hungry b*tches

    I always ask myself, if Chris Brown, Trey Songz, or Usher, tried to make a pass at my girlfriend… Would she say yes… If yes, I have more work to do… And if a celebrity can't hit… Then I have nothing to fear from the neighborhood drug dealer…

    And I think men should always be assessing how much his girl is into him…

    (Alright, here is where my comment goes sideways, for the faint of heart, you can stop reading)


    I was hanging out with my black militant gay friend yesterday, cause he needed my help picking up his drums from Union Square, Cool. Dandy.

    He was telling me (I'm sure if it was true or not), that the guys from the Gay Men's Health Crisis http://www.gmhc.org/ (GHMC) see me coming to take HIV tests & ish (thanks to @WisdomIsMisery who wrote a post about condoms a few weeks ago), and they thought it would be cool for me for a straight guy to march in the Gay Parade this weekend…

    (As far as parades & parties go… I am scared of random heterosexual African Americans, yes y'all Negroes need to do better… I also heard of the West Indian & the Boricuas can be wild too)

    My friend said he doesn't march and he stays on the sidelines because people he knew might see him and they might say

    "I Knew It, I Knew This Guy Was A Fag" (Please Don't Send This Comment To Moderation)

    So understandable, I feel his apprehension

    My only objection to the whole thing was, yo, will I get hit on, or physically harassed by any overzealous HOMOsapiens…

    And he basically said, there are guys who are much more handsome, muscle-bound, dipped in oil grease, who work our all year, and they go from Gay Parade to Gay Parade to take pictures with guys, & collect a small fee for it ($5 – $20), but there not gay (sideeye), there just out to make money o_O :-?… So, he said I will have little to worry about…

    So, I am alittle apprehensive myself, (READ: Scared As Hell), but if I do call up the testicular fortitude to show my face in the parade & MARCH, I figure I might as well document it…

    Post Script: And for you men out there, who try to go into my wallet and pull my ManCard out… I got a crowbar waiting for you… Get Over Yourself…


    1. Yeah see you need to talk to more lesbians. Most of those girls got turned out by being put in situations where "don't know it until you tried it" came up and next thing you know, she was done with men. Be careful out there, you might get out there and find that you like it. Not that you would be into that type of thing, you just got to be careful.

      1. Lesbianism is different… Nobody is getting penetrated (unless Strap-ons are involved)… So, even though being a gay man & a gay woman seems the same… It isn't

        I still err on the side of caution…

        I don't like to be under homosexual energy for more than a few hours…

        Ask Michael Jackson & Quincy Jones about that…

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfR0U7ABRiA (Michael Jackson & Quincy Jones Interview)

  21. OK….I only come on via mobile…but foreal I came to the site JUST FOR THE PLAYLIST!! LOL yall did that.

    Anyway, never have called out another mans name (Amen and knock on wood) never had a man call anybodies name but mine (Amen to me not having to appear on the newest episode of SNAPPED!) I wld not blame a man for hitting me with the cold shoulder (or maybe even taking a shot at me right there in the bed lol depending on how deep we're supposed to be) Hell I don't know if I would be able to face him after that in any case. Believe you call out some girls name in bed with ME, that relationship is pretty much dead unless The Father, The Son AND The Holy Spirit visit me like the ghosts of Christmas past present and future!

    I did call a guy the wrong name before, but just in conversation. It was an ex and I called him my current guys name. I apologized profusely but he just ate that ish like it was ice cream *shrug* I shudder to think if it wlda happened in reverse tho!

    (Randomly speaking, you ppl are HILARIOUS. Intelligent as well. I must say some of you give me the tingles. IJS. Carry on )

  22. <blockquote cite="comment-316074">

    Dr. J:

    I don’t like when girls bring Jesus into my bedroom, I feel like all of sudden he’s watching me.It’s a random pet peeve I have.



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