Home Featured The Cost Benefit Analysis – How to properly rate the physical attractiveness of women

The Cost Benefit Analysis – How to properly rate the physical attractiveness of women

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So if you were black watching tv last night, you were most likely tuned into the BET awards. This award show is the most polarizing awards show ever. People continuously complain about he quality of BETs programming and how they abhor it, yet will turn in to watch faithfully. The best part about that awards show is the twitter commentary that ensues. The slander that is produced with everyone watching simultaneously is so sincere!! One of the highlights came after the awards show, where Free, Kevin Hart, and Big Tigger hosted the afterpaty show. It was pretty normal, but everyone was focused on Free and the phenom which is her booty. It was so crazy, that her ass literally became a twitter trending topic!! Men and women alike paid homage to the rotund and ravishing assets that she possesses, but you knew some people would talk sideways. None more vocal than the new n*kkas who claimed that any praise of Frees backside was null and void because “she has a stomach”. Blank. Fucking. Stare!! Are you new n*kkas for real? That’s what you harp on?! A tummy? I was incensed and went on a tirade, but I realize it takes a village to raise a child, so allow me to coach these youngins on why their position is asinine.

You see new n*kkas fail to understand the concept of the cost benefit ratio. My dude Webster defines this general term well:

cost-benefit analysis – an analysis of the cost effectiveness of different alternatives in order to see whether the benefits outweigh the costs

When we talk about physical beauty, you have to apply this CBA to women as well. In other words, you weigh the good aspects of her physical appearance vs. the bad ones along with factoring in certain demographics to determine whether those qualities that you deem physical deficiencies will outweigh the positive features to lower a woman’s “rating” (majority still use the dime scale, so I’ll stick with that). So let’s apply the CBA to Miss Free shall we?

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Positive physical attributes

Pretty face (sorry I don’t hit anything unlike some of you wildebeest wifing dudes so this matters to me), great body overall(anchored by that crazy caboose) nice hair(that real friends wouldnt let her cut), natural beauty overall.

Physical deficiencies

A stomach (not a gut, there’s a difference)

So, any sane dude would look on paper and may/may not be convinced that shorty is bad. Or they may take the new n*kkas route and say she’s average or wack because of said pooch. Let’s take the outside factors into the equation and see how they impact her rating

Age

“Black don’t crack” sounds good, but the reality is that we all age differently regardless of race. I will say that black women do tend to age gracefully. This factor is overlooked at times but is undeniable. If you got dudes talking about laying pipework to Patti LaBelle at damn near 70?! Sheesh! Free is 43 years old and she looks amazing. Yo… Shes 43 tho!! You new dudes need perspective. These new chicks will become old chicks soon. That’s when the real comparisons hold weight. Some of these 20 something chicks look ancient bro! The women get younger and you get older. You are not Hugh Heffner fam. Unless you want to rock out until Chris Hansen comes through and crushes the buildings, keep that in mind.

Income

So maybe this is my inner chicken head speaking, but if shorty got $$$ she’ll have the resources to pay for what she needs to get right. Either that or she’ll have enough hush money to keep you smilin & wildin! In a more practical sense, if she’s fiscally responsible, has a good job, knows how to make her money work for her, and makes it drizzle and hurricane when necessary, that’s two arms up \(. .)/ Touchdown!

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Lifestyle

Man cannot live by genetics alone, but by the diligence of a healthy lifestyle. If someone drinks heavy, smokes, does hardcore drugs, eats like shit, or doesn’t perform proper upkeep on themselves, it’ll show. This correlates to so many areas. How many times have you seen a BAD chick, and when you introduce yourself, her breath is kicking like Liu Kang? What about if she has a chronic case of yuckmouth. Biggest. Turnoff. Ever! Ladies and gentleman, looking good now is great, but longevity is the sexiest thing on this Earth. I’m trying to win the marathon not the 40 yard dash. You can’t defeat Father Time but you can work with him.

Body Type

Certain physical imperfections can be masked or it’s impact on her aesthetics can be softened depending on body type. Weight on a short woman can and will look way different than on a taller woman. If you’re tall and thick (not fat thick for real) then your body will be proportional. The physical standouts are the taller women who are in crazy shape and hit all those problem areas correctly. They aren’t  the standard however, and if we talk on average, then those women may have “a stomach” but it will look more normal relative to her current body. Free is like 5 ft 3 at most. A lot of women who are bottom heavy like her tend to let themselves go and disguise it as “thickness”. You look at Free and her body relative to her lower thickness is tight for the most part. It’s like she has the genes of a 5 ft 8 woman in condensed form. That means she’s in that “trim to tone” range and not the “Jesus take the wheel” stage of fitness. Yep! Good to go!!

Kids

This is very key! There’s a lot of women who have kids and fall off for obvious reasons, while others just have super Stacy Dash goddess DNA where they bounce back like it’s nothing. The older you get, the more you’ll run into women with kids. Some of these women may not look as hot after poppin out a few rugrats so keep that in mind. The ones that take care of themselves and look better than when they were kid-less, and kept the extra weight from the pregnancy and put it in the right places is a excellent combo! Free has no seeds to my knowledge, but imagine the women that look like her AFTER kids?!?! Man listen…

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The X-Factor

Can she cook? Is she a freak? Will she cut the hand off a nikka trying to steal from you? It’s these intangibles, and more, that keep women winning.

These variables, when introduced into the equation of a women’s rating, clearly prove that the beautiful miss Free is winning and these skinny jean wearing, planking ass new n*kkas don’t have good taste.

So now you have your own personal formula to apply when considering how physically appealing on a non biased scale a woman looks. Fellas, what’s funny is women have and continue to apply a CBA to men for years now. That’s why you’ll see “whack dudes” with the baddest women. I mean, I already tried to tell you how ugly dudes stay winning right? Y’all don’t hear me though!

 

 

 

Tune in next week when I discuss The Womens Beauty Recognition Paradox. A Can’t Miss Event!!

In NYC? Today, June 29th, come join me at Human Intonation’s Protection is the New Black: Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell. It’ll be an interactive discussion on sex, relationships, protection usage, and other topics. Not to mention your dude Streetz is a guest panelist! Slim there, Streetz there, Mama there, P there!! Come join us, everybody’s doin it! For more information on the event, click here.

 

 

Comment(230)

  1. i would like to say my dude Streetz, i have nothing to add.

    except, ladies: don't TRIP if you had kids and have a lil belly. As long as that belly don't look like Freddy Kreuger got to yo guts, or your over all "shape" is still presentable, just put on some spanx and lets hit the town!

    then again, I am old, so the rules of engagement differ for me.

  2. free is winning? because she has an ass? ehhhh her "stomach" aside i wouldn't wife her (didn't say anything about beating tho). my thing is that some dudes think that free (and women with asses like her) are winning just because of their ass. i see your point tho.

    1. My point is to discredit the flyness of a woman based off certain criteria is asenine. besides, you a different n*gga… ole picky arse…lolol

      Nah but I got you.

    2. youse a picky ass dude…then again, you're young, and shes not, so i can't be mad at you mayne…

      free ain't winning cause she got ass, free is winning because she looks good, is lightweight relevant, and got an ass.

        1. B/C its twitter and people are too busy trying to be funny instead of making a smart comment.

    3. Free is not winning b/c she has an arse. Free is winning b/c at 43, I [email protected] to the thought of her sitting on my face.

      That is a winner. You want to be picky that is cool, but don't expect your taste to be better based off of nitpicking. Just b/c a chick fits into Tunde's categories of six pack stomachs doesn't mean she is badder than free. Just means she has ONE THING that free doesn't. That formula isn't not how you make a dime. This isn't a science experiment where as long as you have all the same ingredients you will end up with the same outcome every time #[email protected] Pu$$y is more complicated than that.

    4. and i think y'all are misunderstanding me. i'm thoroughly impressed with her ass and i have no problem with her "stomach". she has a great body. especially for a 43 year old. i wouldn't wife free because one she's 43. i'm only 29. that's a little out my age range. second i don't think free is that attractive around the facial region. *shrug*

      i've have and always will say a nice face > nice body. for that reason alone the cost benefit analysis is a little too high. i know i'm in the minority but that's cool.

  3. Pretty face (sorry I don’t hit anything unlike some of you wildebeest wifing dudes so this matters to me),

    I have to respectfully disagree… As a man who aspires to have a high body count… I have to sleep with some strange, beastly women… I need stories to tell to my future sons yo….

    This is not rocket science…

    As long as her back is not one & a half times wider than her waist and/or she is not "precious" looking, she is good to go physically… (with few exceptions)

    For me

    What does she sound like… (BTW there is a female black blogger who's voice I just love… But I won't say)

    How does she treat other people, mainly women…?

    Is she supportive, am I becoming a better human because of her presence…

    Does she swallow…?

    The two things you can't instill in a woman is physical beauty & intelligence… Everything else you can create…

    I DVRed the BET awards, and I missed Free's As$, thanks for bringing it to my awareness

    1. Adonis,

      Of course darlin, you know how I much I love your zoned out arse. Anyways, I completely agree with what you're saying. I'm thinking you know what you're talking about here. I know for a fact I'm not at all a 10 but I have my good point (I'm NEVER gonna have Free's backside) and I think to some degree what you've said matters. I KNOW every dude on this blogged has down the south side slippery slide with someone who rates a .5, they just don't want to admit it. I think you're honest.

      You've got a soft side. You can be broken down. In fact, with the right woman I think you'd lend yourself to being an awesome dude. It's just a matter of people understanding you… and willing to be as honest and truthful as you are.

  4. I think this was thoughtfully written and delivered from the perspective of a polished male who has been around/with enough women to understand what's important, which is why you are able to attack the issue in such a balanced matter.

    I will say this — the problem with the perspective of these "planking new n*kkas" is that they are just that — "planking new n*kkas."

    They only hold a mirror to themselves when they are lining up their eyebrows.

    No disrespect, but it's gonna be quiet for a lot of the women y'all are idolizing in a few years. You seen Hoopz up close lately? Yeah, she was born in '83. Rocsi is cute, but I feel like in a few years her face will crack like an iPhone.

    You get my point. By the way — I'm not just saying all this because I know Free — and I've seen her natural beauty at her age without make up on. Actually, yes I am.

    Nice post gentlemen.

    @Rahim_TheDream

  5. i wish i was in NY so i could attend one of these dang panel events. they all seem so interesting. *throws michigan shade*

    this cost-benefit analysis i can't really participate in as i have no opinion besides i did NOT know she was 43 and she looks amazing for that age. wow. well, i guess that's my opinion. lol

    umm… iono if that's her hair though. but okay. she's still >>> rocsi

    ".. clearly prove that the beautiful miss Free is winning and these skinny jean wearing, planking ass new n*kkas don’t have good taste."

    ^ hilarious. lmbo. i feel so bad for the young girls that have to date these men.

    also, the whole tall thing and gaining weight makes me rejoice in my 5'8"-ness. lol.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-316721">

      muze:

      also, the whole tall thing and gaining weight makes me rejoice in my 5’8″-ness. lol.

      Amazon woman

        1. As you should be, I wish i was a lil bit taller, so that i could confidently step to women 6 ft. plus with heels on. Being 5'10 and some change, i'm still under 6 ft. with dress shoes on, so i'm losing. There's this chick at my gym that's a SMOOTH 6'1" and she's everything i need in my life physically with the exception of being in a different atmosphere. Saddens me that my ego won't allow me to talk to a chick that's naturally taller than me.

        2. @Top5DOA

          i think you should ask her out. never know she may like that. lol. and if she's 6'1" i'm almost positive she's used to it and has prob dated men shorter than her.

      1. Another tall girl checking in. ^_^ @Top5DOA I replied to what you wrote but I didn't quite get it in the right spot (in this conversation thread). I'll get it right eventually. Still a newbie here!

    2. *waving my church fan* all night on that being tall (5'8) w/ a lil weight… holla!! LOL. I imagine what I weigh and the softness I possess on a 5ft 3 frame would not be cute.

      1. Now i'm in a room full of above average height women and I'm scared.

        One of the most traumatic moments of my 25 years of living is my freshman year in college, I was walking around campus around dusk and all of a sudden a sea of Female Student-Athletes came walking towards me … I'm talkin 6'3" and 6'5" … Woke up later that night in a cold sweat. Still recovering.

        BTW @muze … I seen her out at a bar once with this cat who's at least 6'4", so i'd venture to say she likes guys taller.

        1. <blockquote cite="comment-316880">

          Streetz:

          LOL damnson… search the site for my Height aint nuthin but a number post. We feel your pain!

          …im 6ft tho…

          Found the post and It saddened me

    3. as a memeber of team tall girls (5'10 & 1/2 inches! – don't forget the half!) I am telling you DON'T holla at her b/c if she is anything like me, she will look at you, give you an awww your cute and laugh as she goes to her 6'4 boo…. I will date a short man but I aint marrying him believe that…Can you imagine the wedding pictures?!? SMH unacceptable…

  6. Yea I co-sign the ratio and can appreciate the business acumen displayed. However I need someone to explain this planking shyt that seems to be all the craze. Looks like a bunch of folks playing dead and that shyt is nothing new in the hood when it pops off.

    1. I had never heard about 'planking' until this post. I was sooo confused. Then I went to thefreshxpress… and what do you know? an article about planking.

      Im getting old…

  7. Damn I had no idea she was 43. Looks great though. I find it really silly to just look at a gorgeous woman like that and sum her up as "She got a stomach though." That's what it boils down to? Really? Thank God I just missed the planking new n*kkas age bracket. I hope…. did I? I'm 23…Tell me those fools are younger…

    1. I believe the universal line of demarcation between "thick" and fat is the collar bone. If you can see it, she's just thick…if you can't…well….

  8. Free looks amaaazing and I like your analysis.

    I'm curious where intelligence fits into your CBA, if at all? I'm always instantly attracted to beautiful features and an athletic build but if dude can't wrap his mind around a complicated concept or engage in stimulating conversation, it's over. The more he lets the dumb spew forth from his pretty mouth the less physically attractive he becomes…

    1. LOL, you knew it was coming men…no matter how much you title something "How to properly rate the physical attractiveness of women" or say "When we talk about physical beauty …" a woman will bring other ish into it lolololol

      No shots Elle, I know that stuff like that actually does effect how I perceive a man's physical attractiveness…but I don't think that's what Streetz was addressing today.

  9. Woah….I'm just seeing that picture as I have not had a chance to watch the BET Awards, as of yet….she has a donk for sure…big ups to FREE! We are the same age…and she is representing very well..I must say.

    Your analysis is pretty on point…..my only question is, if Free is so fabulous why hasn't she been wifed up yet? To my knowledge she has never been Married at all…something may be afoot with Miss Free..but, anyway I can appreciate where this post is coming from.

    I am going to lurk all day and see what the Men have to say:-)

    1. several dudes have proposed including Willy McGinest but she is on her independent bug. Heard she is hard on dudes

      1. <blockquote cite="comment-316741">

        CHeeKZ Money:

        several dudes have proposed including Willy McGinest but she is on her independent bug.Heard she is hard on dudes

        With an a$$ like that I can understand why she'll be hesitant to date guys for fear of being viewed as a sex object. The blessing and curse of a pretty bootay…

    2. #1 You def dont look 43 Queen #nosimpin

      #2 Looks alone don't make a woman a bride… or bride material…for most dudes, so I cant speak on her personality n shyt.

    1. It is the Melanin in the skin which actually makes "black not crack"…so, she really wouldn't fit into that category..nor would I for that matter..but, I think genetics have alot to do with the aging process of your skin..so, I believe that is Jasmine Guy's curse..not so good genetics. She probably also spent alot of time in the sun…which will age you quick as well.

    2. Such a Travesty.. She was so pretty when she was younger. I still say someone put some roots on ole girl..

  10. Yo Streetz if you ever need someone killed, give me a call b/c I got your back with this post.

    Yo I can't begin to tell you how much I love free's frame. And if you are worried about the shape of someone's stomach NOT THE amount of fat, but the actually shape than you don't know what true chexy is. Free is properly thick, especially when you take into account her age, 20 years from now I pray on my knees that I can stroke something daily that is in that kind of shape. And its completely relative to her body, being that short (which is a huge plus from a chex standpoint. Its easier to get that PTM/ATM going. Better angles to pull hair, Easier to pick up and better backshots b/c you don't have to stand on your tippy toes and can get a better stroke) her stomach goes with that frame. Sure I have seen some with a six pack and that frame, but can you guarantee me that their faces or voices are as chexy as Free? No? Than I will take Free and truth be told probably embrace that little stomach as being cute and adding to the shape of her lower half. Just b/c its not ideal doesn't mean it is not chexy. When I am looking at a stomach its part of a picture that makes up her torso. Who during missionary strokes just focuses on one ab muscle that is dumb. You are looking at how her chest,hips and stomach make for a chexy picture. These dudes just don't love a woman's body like me. Let me put is like this… some of you dudes fall in love with faces that have no sex appeal. Just b/c they LACK hideous feature instead of HAVING attractive features. Case in point, Beyonce, not worth the hype. You really want to know if a chick is chexy, look at her face when a d1ck is inside her, if she is still appealing than she has chexy appeal if she looks like she is taking a dump, you have a trophy wife.

    And another thing…. some of you dudes sleep on personality. Free is chexy as hell. She was crucial to the critical acclaim to Lil Wayne first Carter Album. Dude was a joke southern rapper before she told people it was actually good. She actually recommended it on her word that he was more than a Birdman sidekick.. and now we see. She has a great smile. She always had great jokes on the Ed Lover show and had the perfect mix of hood chick and sweet girl that we love. Plus SHE CAN SPIT! "A specimen with extraterrestrial estrogen

    Kick your intestines in, sell your testicles to Mexicans"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_VHoOD9b08 Are you kidding me? How can you not wife a chick with great rhyme patterns

  11. <blockquote cite="comment-316732">

    QueenT: my only question is, if Free is so fabulous why hasn’t she been wifed up yet?

    I think the one has very little to do with the other. There are tonnes of bad women in the world who are not married <del>such as myself</del>. Maybe she has a stank attitude. Or doesn't swallow.

    1. "Tell me when you're going to go/bust/nut"

      Basically a statement in which a woman will Fat Joe/Terror Squad/Lean Back when the flood gates are lifted.

      #NoBueno

  12. I've never understood how some guys didn't understand the cost-benefit analysis. Actually I think if more guys understood this they wouldn't f**k up the good situations they have with women. One of the reasons I never cheated was b/c I broke even in my cost-benefit analysis. If I was tempted by another woman physically I would weigh it out. E.g. yeah her @ss is killing my girl's @ss but my girl's b**b game is smashing hers. Its not all physical. I've always done a cost-benefit analysis including all the criteria listed.

    I seriously can't believe these new-ninjas were commenting on Free having a stomach. These guys cant be serious. I think these new-ninjas have been watching too many videos and think the video-vixen is the standard and not the exception to the rule. IMHO Free is the protoype for where you want your woman to be post 40 and after having children. Same with the new Jill Scott. I think what a lot of younger and some older guys fail to realize is that a 20-something woman is not hot she is young. The true hot women are the ones that still have it or get it in their late 20s and older.

  13. At 43 Free looks great! And I think the credit should be given for maintaining, year over year, a shape that she's broadcasted across America since her start on 106 & Park. But I'm blindsighted by the overarching theme that physical appearance is heavily weighted in society.

    I remember sitting in a restaurant on H st in DC with this dude and he wanted to find out my type… so we played the rating game: 1-10 give a number to the people that pass by. He consistently came across 7s, and I couldn't find higher than a 4.

    Granted the dudes were nice looking, definite eye candy… but is that it? Really? What if they turn out to be wife beaters? On the down-low (uhh, this is DC)? Pedophiles?

    The one dude that got the highest score (6) was white, tatt'd up, with a definite beer belly but he walked outside and gave a homeless dog a bowl of water.

    Case in point, this is where average dudes win! Show your personality when you think no one is looking, show your humanity, and we can see ourselves with you (despite your hunchback of notre dame appearance).

    So SBM, I'm wondering why that's so hard for guys to do? Don't you want someone to be ride or die for you?

    ehh… just a thought

    1. Men are visual creatures. It's not that we dont consider personality, especially when we're considering something serious with a woman, but at the end of the day, men are and will always be visual creatures.

      That's how even men who are not attracted to Free (or any woman) overall can still apprecaite the fact that she has a nice ass (or whatever nice attribute she has) – and it ends there.

        1. even dirty blonde? I understand surfer girl blonde.

          But Janet and T-Boz pull it off quite well.

        2. Janet is a sponsor of dirty blonde? I'll allow it (c) Mills Lane.

          @cynicaloptimist81

          Streaks are perfectly fine dear.

  14. Nice post, sir. I don't have cable nor do I watch BET even when I have access to cable so I didn't see the awards or Free's ass. However, judging by the picture and information you put forth in the post I have to agree with your CBA.

    I also see you went ahead and lined'm up so I can knock'm down with my post tomorrow. Lord, let me re-fortify my bunker tonight. But, brother Streetz…

    *throws blood in the water*

    You don't assess personality when CBA-ing these women?

    *shots*

  15. Am I the only who can see the similarities between her and Mary? I swear they look as if they can be cousins or somethin.

    Free looks great!! I didn't know she was in her 40's…. Free looks like a WOMAN, not a young girl THUS her shape; LisaRaye too.

    1. You are not the only one. I've said the same thing since the first time I saw her. Mary and Free has to be related.

  16. Free is the Bomb. Let her live. As for tummies tho!? Ladies get to the gym, eat right, do crunches. I'm sorry, but nobody gets a pass for the tummy if they're not working to get rid of it or over all not working to be in shape. It's not cute. Doesn't matter that a chick (or dude for that matter) looks good in clothes or under some spanks – they still gotta get naked & pooches are unattractive. It's a blazing hot neon sign that you don't pay attn to your fitness. Post-child bearing pooch is different, but that's not what I'm referring to. If you didn't have that pooch in high school, it's got to go. I'm looking for the win-win – winning with clothes on, winning with clothes off.

    Thanks,

    The Btich.

      1. Thank you!! I didn't want to be the one to say it cause I got a certified gut, not tummy, gut. But where exactly is this tummy that they seein on Free!!?

        SN: LaLa, are you and BP plankin in your Gravatar pic or do ya'll just need a V8? 😉

      2. <blockquote cite="comment-316769">

        LaLaBakir: It appears to be that there are. I have 20/20 vision AND I threw on the glorified magnify glasses (reading glasses) and I still don’t see a stomach

        The thing is her waist probably isn't more than 30 inches, and that's a conservative guess (unless she's wearing spanx). Judging by the size of her upper arms, her waist can't be that large.

        I could understand if she had a 44-inch hip measurement with a 35-inch waist. A big a$$ ain't impressive if everything else is big too. But the woman has a relatively slim waist! So what if she has a little pouch!

        File this under #standardswaytoohigh.

    1. Nah she do got a lil somethin… you have to watch the video and focus to see, but its there, but its not crazy. Its one of those "if she focused on it, it would be super tight in 1-2 mons" type flow. ut shes good where she is

  17. I only use the CBA of a woman when i'm trying to determine if she's date-able (The intent to hangout every now and then with no true intent of engaging in anything beyond that) or if she's smashable.

    When determining whether i want to make a lady my significant other, i use my own scale for each individual aspect and she has to meet a certain standard. I can get away with her being below standard for 1 or (maybe) 2 of those aspects, but that also depends on what that characteristic is. For example, she can't be below that standard from a facially attractive standpoint NO MATTER WHAT, but if she had no azz or no chest (can't have neither simultaneously) i'm not going to trip.

    But yea, I give Total Praise to Free and that meatwagon she's hauling around. I'd pray 7 times a day due East if my woman had azz like that (Lol…old school porn) or anywhere in that ballpark. Bless Him, her, and the meat multiplying underneath that azz skin. Sheesh.

    1. You are the source of my strength!
      You are the strength of my life!
      I…. lift… my…. hands…. in.. to… tal praise to You

      #IKnowImNotTheOnlyOne who thought that.

    2. "But yea, I give Total Praise to Free and that meatwagon she’s hauling around. I’d pray 7 times a day due East if my woman had azz like that (Lol…old school porn) or anywhere in that ballpark. Bless Him, her, and the meat multiplying underneath that azz skin. Sheesh."

      LMAO. You're hilarious

  18. "A stomach (not a gut, there’s a difference)"

    I've looked at those photos several times…and I'm so confused.

    Everybody has a stomach. What exactly should I be looking for? Free looks great! N*ggas kill me nit picking about a woman's body, when their body is in the [email protected] toilet *looks again* I see nothing wrong with her midsection. If she had on jeans, doesn't look like it would be hanging over or making her top an unintentional belly shirt.

    I'm digging your break down of CBA Streetz

  19. I thought y'all judged us based on an a$$ to waist ratio (scientifically, hip to waist ratio). Here, I learn something new everyday. Free is beautiful (an old friend looks almost like her twin) but when do ya'll think an a$$ is too big, like, is there dealbreaker a$$? I was chit chatting with a dude about this one day. He told me he wouldn't want a chick with a body like Buffy's. He said it caused too much of a scene. Is this attitude common? It was reassuring to me because I know I'm lacking in the backing. Maybe he was just trying to make me feel better. *shrugs* At any rate, I enjoyed this break down of the CBA. It's reassuring.

    1. There ita no hard and fast rule. Every guy has his own threshold.

      I prefer my women to be properly proportioned. It has to look natural on all accounts.

    2. Its an overall body picture. Not the size of bu++ but instead how said bu++ looks on that body. You can be as big or small as you want it to be. Its about the shape and slope that makes a difference. And when you get to the point where it doesn't look good with a certain set of hips/thighs and most importantly lower back that is when I say it is too big. You can't just take a bu++ and make it big, the curves won't come out right.

      That is the difference between a good plastic surgeon.

  20. <blockquote cite="comment-316757">

    GirlSixx is ChloeRayne516:
    Am I the only who can see the similarities between her and Mary? I swear they look as if they can be cousins or somethin.

    Free looks great!! I didn’t know she was in her 40′s…. Free looks like a WOMAN, not a young girl THUS her shape; LisaRaye too.

    Yes! Free and Mary look like half sisters!

  21. My husband is enthralled with Free, so I had to call him just now and tell him she is 43 and he was like–WOW! So was I. She looks GREAT! It is really funny how most young people fail to realize that time will reveal the truth. It's easy for young, pre-baby, high metabolic folk to criticize things such as pooches. Therefore, all these young folk need to see me in about 10 years to have any merit.

    I know how hard it is to maintain being 5'5…and 30. I was so happy to be able to fit into my pre-baby clothes within a month and a half after my baby boy was born. But that wasn't because of magic but because I do yoga and eat right. I know why 75% of America is obese or overweight. It's because people fail to understand that at some point WE ALL (men and women) have to work to maintain our bodies. Girls and boys alike think that they are exempt from the “I don't know how I got fat" thought. Ignorance is bliss…

  22. I agree with your overall analysis of the CBA. It is important to take into account the total package when analyzing physical attractiveness. However, I've seen Free look much better than that Vegas lounge singer look she had going on that the BETAwards after party. There's a reason why almost every pic of her is either a profile pic or a back shot. Yeah, those pic are not evidence of Free's flyness at all. Evidence of a good a$$ to waist ration, yes. Evidence of her being fly, maybe, but I don't think so. Hair, makeup, overall visage…

    Having a tummy isn't that big of deal. Hell, she is 43 years old. Eh, I like I said, I agree with your overall message, just don't agree with your example…

    1. " Yeah, those pic are not evidence of Free’s flyness at all. Evidence of a good a$$ to waist ration, yes. Evidence of her being fly, maybe, but I don’t think so. Hair, makeup, overall visage…"

      exactly.

      1. Say she's lying though. O_O Her and LaLa FAILED in their two for one, too much [email protected] material, neckline up to they lips, mirror ball dresses. Didn't flatter at all ('cept that @ss obviously)…

  23. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Free. Being a slim chick, I would kill for those kind of assets…but alas it isn't in my destiny. I think the most valid point in this post is what happens to that body after babies? I mean in Free's case probably not a concern since she is 43…but for that 30 yr old chick with Free's body don't you worry that post-baby you will be working with Precious? I mean a slim chick can end up looking like Free after kids, maybe, but a Free chick who knows where that is gonna go?!

  24. Here my thing go, i'm calling the Kim Kardashian rule on Free. Yes, I am. Let me preface this by saying, Free is a nice person, she is loyal to her peoples, and very talented. But because only like two people who are on here today actually know Free on that level this is about the "Free" y'all have known and come to love since Sunday.

    The Kim Kardashian Rule states, you cannot give too much credit to a woman who is doing something that Black women have been doing for years and even do better and/or at a higher rate than said woman.

    I see Free body on a lot of women in their late 30s and early 40s. This ain't no secret in the Black community that Black women age a certain way. Free got some yams? I'm from DC, and as Jeezy said, "Yeah, we got a lot of them." That's just how it is. Free is 43 thanksgivings in the making of what we like to call, Good Googly Moogly.

    The I'm Not Hating Rule states, you can't hold this against me;

    Most men have no clue what spanx are doing to the game these days. I'll leave it at that.

    The Everybody Ain't Got to Like Candied Yams Rule states;

    Not every man is into donks outside of the range of maybe a Jessica Biel. Jessica Biel got a donk, but it ain't that OD. Some men are just terrified that it's going to go left one day in a way that it can't be saved like these hoes. We was having this conversation while playing the Single Ladies drinking game. (Basically, everytime there's an assshot of Stacey, her nipples are hard, an assshot of Lisa Raye, Stacey hits Lisa on the ass, or a assshot of that white girl, who got ASS for days, you take a shot, you gotta take two shots for the white chick because she got ass for days.) But anyway we was talking about how there's some dudes who are into Lisa Raye and there's others who into Stacey Dash … and there's some into white chicks, but this ain't bout that tho… What that go to tell you is that there might be a dude who is like yo I wouldn't hit Lisa before i'd hit Stacey. NOT TO SAY HE AIN'T GON HIT LISA. A man is only as faithful as his options.

    #imdone

    Aiiyyoo Breezzy killed that Marvin's Room remix though. "He's jus saying you could do better, all i'm saying is he sound like a hater."

        1. Truth!!!

          I tried to support it so many times but I just can't stay focused. *shrug*

    1. "Aiiyyoo Breezzy killed that Marvin’s Room remix though. “He’s jus saying you could do better, all i’m saying is he sound like a hater.”

      Chris Brown is just mad 'cos Drizzy Probably smashed RiRi lol. The remix sounded like he was taking shots at someone.

    2. <blockquote cite="comment-316782">

      Dr. J:

      (Basically, everytime there’s an assshot of Stacey, her nipples are hard, an assshot of Lisa Raye, Stacey hits Lisa on the ass, or a assshot of that white girl, who got ASS for days, you take a shot, you gotta take two shots for the white chick because she got ass for days.)

      These 3 lines had me thinking i was losing … Sounded LIVE AS HE11 … Any sentence that has asss 6 times and nipples in it, is a sentence worth noting.

      1. You can watch the show on mute. Nobody said it was gonna win an Emmy. Single Ladies is like Travis Porter and Waka, stupid as f*ck, but I mess with it.

  25. Free has a banging body #nuffsaid. She would make a great cougar yo.

    Did anyone see the nude Amber Rose pics that leaked yesterday? All I can say is DAMNNNNNNNNN!!!!!! . It would be cool if any of the writers here can do a post on sexting and relationships.

    Time to google more of Free's a$$ pics….

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-316783">

      Lyrically Inclined:

      Free has a banging body #nuffsaid. She would make a great cougar yo.

      Did anyone see the nude Amber Rose pics that leaked yesterday?

      i just seen them today on MTO today, and i felt like an OB/GYN, now i'm sad. 🙁

  26. <blockquote cite="comment-316781">

    InsomniaPoet: Free after kids, maybe, but a Free chick who knows where that is gonna go?!

    I'mma Free chick at 30 (her a$$ is a tad bigger) but her shape and her shapely rear I have POST BABIES! As I stated before, it's all gonna take work. Just as big assets COULD get bigger along with the rest of the body, small assets will sag and lose shape with time, if not worked out.

    What's up with the thought that just because a girl is THICK that she will definitely get fat…not I said the Beef Bacon.

    1. cosign!

      I have two kids. I had the rear before the kids and my shape didnt go to sh*t after. It about understanding that as time goes on you have to work harder to maintain.

      In HS I just had to wake up. Now I have to wake up and do a little something (thanks Max for the Brazil Butt Lift idea!)

    2. Agreed.

      "Not I said the Beef Bacon."

      Girl you kill me though

      ***

      Side note, I'm new to the blog and I have no clue how to get my pic up to show with my comments. Could anyone tell me how please?

    3. Not saying every thick chick is going to get fat…what I am saying is that in the cost-benefit analysis if you have a 30, 5'10 and never weighed more than 135 her entire life chick she probably won't become Precious no matter how many babies, or how lazy or slack she is. On the other hand, if chick is 5'2 and never been under 150 her entire life, after babies and without changing her habits you might end up married to a manatee.

  27. <blockquote cite="comment-316794">

    Kema:
    I had never heard about ‘planking’ until this post.I was sooo confused.Then I went to thefreshxpress… and what do you know?an article about planking.

    Im getting old…

    Girl I thought he was talking about pilates. I'm over here like what's wrong with the plank? It's a good ab move. It always kills me. I guess I'm old too bc that remark went straight over my head at first. Lol

  28. <blockquote cite="comment-316771">

    @Top5DOA:
    Saddens me that my ego won’t allow me to talk to a chick that’s naturally taller than me.

    Not to jump in here, but as another tall woman I'm saying you should ask her out. I personally gave up the mindset of only dating dudes taller than me a while ago. I've dated shorter men (I'm 5'9 & 1/2). As long as a man is confident it doesn't bother me (or unless he's on some midget status). In my experience, it tends to bother men more than it bothers women, the whole height disparity thing.

    1. Yes it bothers me … Looking up to a woman… What?!?!? No can do. It'd be different if i was 5'6" or 5'7" … in that case it's expected that I'll come across a woman that's my height or taller, but i'm just barely above avg. height for a man, so I can't confidently say that i'm ok with a woman being taller than me without shoes. I've dated women your height tho, but not taller than myself (I can't). I've only holla'd at one chick taller than me in the club. She was sitting down when i rolled up on her and after conversing for a lil, she stood up and i was like GATDAYUMMMMM … Ended convo shortly thereafter and 2 stepped to the other side of the club.

      1. <blockquote cite="comment-316812">

        @Top5DOA: … and 2 stepped to the other side of the club.

        That made me tear up a bit, lol. I got a visual of this scene and I just can't stop laughing, LOL…smh. Sounds like something Martin Lawrence would do…two step away, LOL!

      2. Comment moderation hated on this post … Not sure why tho :-/

        Ya must have my IP address on default comment moderation … smh

  29. <blockquote cite="comment-316806">

    WisdomIsMisery:

    +1

    FTR, I’m not a fan of Buffy either beyond staring at her ass-ets. Plus, Buffy’s face? Not so much.

    For the most part, we were talking about her assets. He said he couldn't walk through a mall or anywhere with a chick with a body like that because too many people would be staring. Is this a real problem? My husband said it's a compliment to him when people stare for the most part. And what an unfortunate tragedy it must be to live as a butterface. I'd rather have a pretty face and noassattall.

    1. Depends on the man. I personally like having a woman on my arm that everyone else wants but that's not for every man because it can get annoying if every dude on the block is trying to get at your woman 24-7. That doesnt really apply to a chick built like Buffy though because dudes prob want her for all the wrong reasons. Still, I couldnt get past that face. O, I'd hit but I wouldnt gal her up. Going further, I'd actually applaud a man who did hit and laugh at a man who wife'd her down.

      To the other point, if you're secure that your woman isnt going anywhere it really isnt that big of a deal if other men try to get at her (or women in the reverse scenario). I also agree that it's a compliment if people see you with your significant other and want to try to tank them. Why be with someone no one else wants?

    2. The constant attention can be overwhelming and no matter how she dresses it always seems sexual even if she's just in sweats and hoodie. I don't know how I would handle it because I've always been the 'pretty' one in relationships, but after being constantly harassed by gay men on a daily basis in DC I know how frustrating people always coming up to you can be.

      1. <blockquote cite="comment-316832">

        Malik: no matter how she dresses it always seems sexual even if she’s just in sweats and hoodie.

        So unfair!!!

  30. So I'm assuming personality and intelligence fall under the X Factor? That's the only thing I found missing from an otherwise on point post. I'm so glad I found this blog- my best friend is a man so do I get his perspective however I feel that here it's pretty much uncensored 24/7.

    I'm still catching up on past posts here and was just reading the ones about pretty women being married and the correlation between good looks and bad head. I wonder if the two are related somehow. Unmarried pretty women being passed over due to a wack head game? Interesting.

    Free's pretty and unmarried too. IJS

    1. "Unmarried pretty women being passed over due to a wack head game?:"

      BullSnickery!!!!!

      She can learn how to give good neck as time progresses, — no man is passing up or over a pretty woman just because her neck game is lacking.. #WTDTA

    2. “Unmarried pretty women being passed over due to a wack head game?:”

      BullSnickery!!!!!

      She can learn how to give good neck as time progresses, — no man is passing up or over a pretty woman just because her neck game is lacking.. #WTDTA

      LiesMenTell2GetHead

  31. <blockquote cite="comment-316771">

    @Top5DOA:

    As you should be, I wish i was a lil bit taller, so that i could confidently step to women 6 ft. plus with heels on.Being 5’10 and some change, i’m still under 6 ft. with dress shoes on, so i’m losing.There’s this chick at my gym that’s a SMOOTH 6’1″ and she’s everything i need in my life physically with the exception of being in a different atmosphere.Saddens me that my ego won’t allow me to talk to a chick that’s naturally taller than me.

    You don't have it that bad. I'm not even 5'4".

  32. Sigh. This touched a nerve I suppose. This post sucks. It's silly. You list factors you don't even have all of the facts on (so an incomplete analysis I suppose).

    What is the difference between a stomach and a gut?

    I had to laugh at the "pretty face" comments. You realize makeup does wonders, right?… right? I think makeup does more than men realize.

    It makes me want to say "I am not my hair." Women are more than their bodies. But look at twitter and all you see is focus on a body part.

    1. You are very mad. Why dont you put up some pics so we can analyze you? LMAO

      Seriously, this post sucks? True.

      Great constructive criticism.

      but why are you so MAD tho?!

      Like for real!

      Are you a New N866a in disguise?!

      1. Well, I did say it struck a nerve! I don't really get your response though. Not every comment has to be constructive does it? And I listed all of my questions with the post.

        Are you being defensive? How does putting pics of myself prove my point? Anyhow, I ain't neva scared; Carver the Great can vouch for me. And what's a "new knee-grow" ?

        …still waiting on the difference b/w a stomach and gut,

        05girl

        1. Well, I did say it struck a nerve! I don’t really get your response though. Not every comment has to be constructive does it?

          Nope not at all, but when you answer with bullshit I respond with ether. Quid Pro Quo

          "Are you being defensive? How does putting pics of myself prove my point?"

          No defense here. Not my style. I just saw an asenine comment and responded in kind. This post sucked is hilarious to me. Posting a pic = puttin up and shuttin up and not talkin about shit when you clearly must be a 2

          Anyhow, I ain’t neva scared; Carver the Great can vouch for me. And what’s a “new knee-grow”

          Peace to Carver, but who fuckin cares? lololol Maybe he'll vouce for you inebriated…

          and a new nigga is you. Born in the power ranger era thinkin boufants are a new dance in the club lookin ass…

          …still waiting on the difference b/w a stomach and gut,

          These are slang terms. A stomach is a regular midsection with no real overlap of said stomach over belt. Usually flat or flat enough and doesn't protrude or contain immense size.

          A gut = a pot belly, a pounch, etc.

          And im done! Check out the rest of our horrible posts and you come back now y'hear?!

          05girl

        2. HA! while I'm not gonna take claim to being a "new negro" nor do I agree with what 05girl said (cause I liked the post) I am gonna embrace being born in the Power Ranger era! That is the most wonderfulest phrase I've eva heard! I was born in 88 and I looooved me some Power Rangers!

        3. F it, i’mma reply.

          Power ranger era? Negro I’m 28. I may be post erratically, but I’ve been frequenting this blog WAY before you brushed up on your writing skills and gained some fame on here.

          And again, what does posting a pic prove in relationship to your post? I am not concerned what you, one random dude on the internet, thinks of my looks. And that would also not give you enough info to make an effective cost-benefit analysis.

          I’m honestly surprised you even bothered to reply to my “bullshit comment.” What is your point? It’s one thing to respond asininely, it’s another to add insults. More like you just wanted to puff your chest and throw some insults. Did you feel better? Thanks for answering my questions, but you didn’t do much to segment your position.

          I previously had some respect for you, but now you’ve made yourself look like an a$$-hole. I’ve been giving this blog clicks, PVs and shit (support) for years, but I’ll think twice. In parting, here’s some constructive criticism for the team:

          -stop begging for web award votes; let the work speak for iteself

          -more posts from TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld; he brings a breath a fresh air to the tired, same-old same-old dialogue

          [email protected] off, toby

        4. In what will be the most uncharacteristic Dr. J reply you will ever read, because I actually just read this thread…

          If Carv gonna vouch for you, being as though that's my DJ, i'm going to say, "let's hear what you have to say." Carv is my 50-grand.

          Basically what happened here was that you and Streetz went at each other hard from jump. I think if you take a step back you'll realize that you called his article "hot garbage." That's going to piss him off. On your side, he's a writer, he needs to have tougher skin. On his side, that's not fair. Maybe, "I don't know about this one Streetz, not sure I agree" would have been a better approach.

          Lot of times in discourse, it leads to disrespectful exchanges and things are said that we don't always mean. That's a natural, however preventable, reaction. Artists and writers are sensitive people, sometimes our skin ain't as thick as it should be, or sometimes our fatigue levels are in the "red." But at the same time, the same way if Carv vouch for you and then do the same for Streetz then you know, you can't lose all respect for a cat and that's not right. Wouldn't want mutual friends hearing about malfeasance like that over a blog.

          Last two notes, on a lighthearted note, cats will keep saying, "I'll vote tomorrow or when I get home and have time" until the rapture comes. We had to do a campaign just like the opposition. Hell Barack is going to win the election in 2012 by a landslide, but he still tweets four times a day asking for folks to please donate to the campaign, ya dig.

          SBM is like the Temptations, while I think I am David Ruffin, and I have ammo to defend this claim. Most is definitely Eddie Kendricks. Now everybody always has their favorite member of the group, but imagine if all the tracks were by Eddie. 1) David would have snuffed him for always taking the mic, and 2) It would get boring after a while. The best thing about SBM is the diverse element of thought.

          But in the meantime between time; check out Most at his personal blog: thelowerfrequency.com. The SBM empire is great.

          Let's all hug it out Marty Mar style.

          *deep exhale*

  33. I love you long time for that CNN Drivers Seat reference!

    ok I'm gonna read the comments now. good post. I agree with you for the most part.

    1. i missed the reference but that song made NORE's career.

      I use to wait hours on end hoping Rap City would play that Closer/Driver Seat video

      1. Closer remix is my sh*T! do you know my high school ex stole my CNN cd and when I tried to repurchase it, the remix was NOT on there. I was so sad. I'm glad I was able to find it on kazaa back in the early downloading days. lol

  34. <blockquote cite="comment-316751">

    JustLissen:

    At 43 Free looks great! And I think the credit should be given for maintaining, year over year, a shape that she’s broadcasted across America since her start on 106 & Park. But I’m blindsighted by the overarching theme that physical appearance is heavily weighted in society.

    I remember sitting in a restaurant on H st in DC with this dude and he wanted to find out my type… so we played the rating game: 1-10 give a number to the people that pass by. He consistently came across 7s, and I couldn’t find higher than a 4.

    Granted the dudes were nice looking, definite eye candy… but is that it? Really? What if they turn out to be wife beaters? On the down-low (uhh, this is DC)? Pedophiles?

    The one dude that got the highest score (6) was white, tatt’d up, with a definite beer belly but he walked outside and gave a homeless dog a bowl of water.

    Case in point, this is where average dudes win! Show your personality when you think no one is looking, show your humanity, and we can see ourselves with you (despite your hunchback of notre dame appearance).

    So SBM, I’m wondering why that’s so hard for guys to do? Don’t you want someone to be ride or die for you?

    ehh… just a thought

    If even you who values those qualities are calling him average…he aint winning

    1. LMAO, love that show.

      Po, po Katt though…what the weed man done sold him? Baby's gone plum crazy… 🙁

        1. He was 4 hours late to a show and acted a donkey…spit chewing tobacco into his hand and slicked it through his hair, ran around stage like a crazy person shirtless, doing pushups, told not nan joke, was escorted away by police 🙁

          http://bit.ly/mrkm7v

  35. <blockquote cite="comment-316832">

    Malik:
    The constant attention can be overwhelming and no matter how she dresses it always seems sexual even if she’s just in sweats and hoodie. I don’t know how I would handle it because I’ve always been the ‘pretty’ one in relationships, but after being constantly harassed by gay men on a daily basis in DC I know how frustrating people always coming up to you can be.

    I know it has to hurt a little for a guy to hear "how did you pull her" but it must make a woman suicidal to be asked "how did you pull him?". Based on the way you comment and your wonderful way with words, I'm sure you're reassuring and all but I'd have to dump your pretty behind! Lol I guess I'm just not that secure.

  36. free has a wonderful shape and that arse is fat!! like how does one hold all that arse? she needs to share I'm desperate, and it's not like she threw it in your face by overexposing herself w booty shorts or anything, that thing just crept up on you. like POW!! lol i wonder when she sit does it look like she's floating on air? lol lemme stop

    oh and i'm 100% hetero i just really appreciate her arse.. that's all.

    1. No lie, I'd love to read a post about the physical challenges of chexin different body types. Like I'm curious for real. How do you get yo idck in/around that @ss? It'd have to be a foot long just to get to the holes o' glory. CHeeKZ touched on effin a petite woman verses a tall woman…I really, really wonder about these things…and as far as I'm aware, it not something that's been really explored in writing…

      1. <blockquote cite="comment-316854">

        Starita34:

        Like I’m curious for real.How do you get yo idck in/around that @ss?

        I'd be willing to Solve for that … No Question … I'd Find A Way on some A Tribe Called Quest type stuff.

        "Look woman, arch yo back some more … I can't reach it Arrgghgaicxzlknor … Arch MORE … Ahhhhhhhhh 😀 … Winning" *Perishes inside of 3 min, shrugs, and falls asleep with the Pursuit of Happyness smile*

      2. @Star: lol I love how you make simple things complicated (Re: that one discussion we had that one time on that one blog – Max's to be exact). Anywho, eventually – and I say eventually because I used to struggle with the force that is known as "the phat ass" back when I was young – a man learns you have to push (or grab) up and away. I’m sure every man has their own technique though. Men are like Mister Myagi. Wax on, wax off. Crane on’m. Whatever works! Bet we gon get it in tho.

        But if you want to "get up in there" you push up and away – leverage is your friend. I believe Sir Einstein spoke on this. Now if you want to watch it jiggle and admire it for the force that it is like ripples on a lake in the Spring you just let it bounce bounce bounce biggity bounce. It's a beautiful thing.

        *moment of silence and single tear*

        IDK if we can write about this in detail without getting everyone who reads SBM banned from their jobs. lol

        Fellow writers? What say you?

        About to form like Megatron.

        1. I wish I had some idea of what convo you were referencing…my memory is ish…

          It may be simple to you Homie, you've had the multiple experiences and time to learn your technique…you see the other ladies were intrigued as well…we only know what it's like to be with US and even then it's from our own perspective. And if the topic is too dirty, I'd be more than willing to learn through a personal gchat or perhaps Skype session…IJS 😉 .

    2. <blockquote cite="comment-316853">

      SamIAm928:

      free has a wonderful shape and that arse is fat!!

      and it’s not like she threw it in your face by overexposing herself w booty shorts or anything, that thing just crept up on you. like POW!! lol

      oh and i’m 100% hetero i just really appreciate her arse.. that’s all.

      I have a donk admittedly and if I could give you some I would. But I agree it wasn't displayed all crazy – the funny this is when she turned around me and my sister were like DAYUUUUUM look at her booty she's wearing the hell out of that dress!

      1. I think the world collectively gasped when the shot that Streetz used for the post was inadvertently taken, on some #WindowSeat type ish…I wasn't ready. The whole world gave a Smokey and Craig "daaaaaaaaaaamn!" I know I did.

        1. <blockquote cite="comment-316873">

          Starita34: The whole world gave a Smokey and Craig “daaaaaaaaaaamn!” I know I did.

          Me too…and I'm no slouch in that area myself for similar reasons (5"1 1/2 and small e'rywhere but the butt). If I'm like "WOW", it's def topic/trend/post worthy bootay, lol.

        2. <blockquote cite="comment-316879">

          Starita34:

          And if the topic is too dirty, I’d be more than willing to learn through a personal gchat or perhaps Skype session…IJS .

          #TheThirstDeletedScenesEdition

        3. @ Streetz – HA!

          I dunno about posting a pic…but I will say that it's been the topic of conversation amongst men AND women, lol…because I'm so tiny and, from the front, you just wouldn't expect it…cause I'm not hippy…at.all. LOL. I'm giving you "the word on the streetz"…not my opinion. I mean, Free's got me beat, fo'sho! But, I can def hold my own. 😉

          IMO…it's my proportions that make it seem bigger than it actually is. But, the fellas don't seem to go for that explanation, lol…smh…

  37. <blockquote cite="comment-316854">

    Starita34:
    No lie, I’d love to read a post about the physical challenges of chexin different body types.Like I’m curious for real.How do you get yo idck in/around that @ss?It’d have to be a foot long just to get to the holes o’ glory.CHeeKZ touched on effin a petite woman verses a tall woman…I really, really wonder about these things…and as far as I’m aware, it not something that’s been really explored in writing…

    I want to know the same thing. My friend told me she does anal with her dude. All I could think was how. HOW? Her butt puts Free's to shame. Absolute SHAME! I mean anything shorter than a baseball bat can't make its way to where they're trying to get it to. How is it possible? I lose sleep over these things. Maybe I need to take a physics class or something.

        1. Defined like what? Serena?

          MOST are NOT like that! lol! And I am talking about the behinds that look like they belong on Smooth.

          Not knocking… I know many men live the wave.

      1. Dead @ Smooth

        I mean, my thought process is there has to be at least an equal amount of muscle there. Ass ain't gonna sit up on its on. *shrugs* Who knows…I'm just gonna worry about my own tush,lol

        1. I will say there is probably muscle under all the fat.

          <blockquote cite="comment-316901">

          LaLaBakir: Ass ain’t gonna sit up on its on.

          It will while you are young…

          I had a friend whose claim to fame was being one of the girls in the Rumpshaker video. Well years later she still has the a$$. However it is not where it use to be. Dropped a few inches. still there though and looks great… in clothes

  38. Def a nice post…Imma call shenanigans about personality/character being left off the list though. However, when you first meet someone (in person or via TV), there is no way of judging their true personality/character…so, looks and initial vibe is all you've got to go on. I'm with that. I like this list…and I def apply the CBA to men.

    I was just telling someone else that super-picky (when it comes to looks) people (ex. new n*kkas) are masking an insecurity (or two or three). They need a certain look by their side to validate their worth or their own attractiveness. I can say this cause I used to fit the bill. I was very insecure about my huge eyes and Sade-like forehead…and being able to attract what I wanted (and others wanted) validated my attractiveness. Now, that I'm passed that, I'll date men of any complexion that's taller than me and is attractive…to me…I don't care what anyone else thinks. I missed out on a great guy back in the day being picky…worried about what others thought…totally not appreciating the beauty he saw in me (inside and out). Picked the wrong guy over him…for the most superficial reasons ever. I kick myself about once every 6 mos for that dumb move…

    Ah well. You live and you learn…

  39. <blockquote cite="comment-316830">

    WisdomIsMisery:
    "Still, I couldnt get past that face. O, I’d hit but I wouldnt gal her up."

    I guess this is why backshots were invented.

    "I also agree that it’s a compliment if people see you with your significant other and want to try to tank them. Why be with someone no one else wants?"

    Seems like a lot of dudes don't know how to peek really quick and keep on moving. They get disrespectful with it. Ain't there some man law somewhere that speaks on this? Should be.

  40. <blockquote cite="comment-316766">

    Malik: I’m just anti-blonde hair on black women. Hell, I’m damn near anti-blonde hair on anyone that isn’t naturally blonde.

    That ish kills me too. You know who I see when I see a black woman with blond hair? Uncle Ruckus' mother.

  41. <blockquote cite="comment-316884">

    Larry: I believe the universal line of demarcation between “thick” and fat is the collar bone. If you can see it, she’s just thick…if you can’t…well….

    Feels collar bone while looking around….whew, I can see it too…CHECK!

  42. <blockquote cite="comment-316850">

    Kema: So unfair!!!

    I am glad to see that it's not all in my head. I sometimes feel like a walking peep show no matter what I wear. And I do dress conservatively. What's a woman to do?

    1. *sighs* There's not much we can do. The booty is just there and if folks are looking…they'll scope it out whether your in sweats or a potato sack. Tush is one of the reasons I rarely wear shorts. Don't wanna look like one of Uncle Luke's dancers

      1. A regular chicks booty shorts def look super raunchy on me…cheeks all out the bottom. I can't even fit mine into most low-rise jeans…and I can forget super-low, smh.

        The bigger problem here is that they just don't make nice clothes for bottom-heavy women. We end up having to buy our clothes too big to accommodate the extras, lol…

        The skirt is always higher in the back…

        The banded shirt never stays on your hips, always rolls up on an angle…

        Your pants are always bunched up around the waist cause you had to buy the next size up to fit your behind in the pants so the pants are actually too big for your waist…

        Belts never lay in the belt loops right…

        There's no way to mask it in places like church where you def don't want it to be a distraction…

        Man, I tell ya…it's rough, lol.

        1. THIS!!!!

          Folk don't understand the struggle! I hate getting the "Why are you complaining?!"

          WHY?!!!

          Because I can't rock most strapless dresses b/c if it fits my bottom…its super large up top

          Because trying to find jeans is like searching for the Bermuda Triangle

          Because folks constantly feel the need to remind you of how big your ass is, as if you didn't know

          Ya'll don't know what its like to try on a pair of jeans and they're PERFECT…until they can't go over your ass

        2. LMBO!

          This "blessing" def comes with a cross to carry, for real. I posted a pic of me standing by my new car on FB not to long ago and a very hetero FEMALE made a comment about my butt, lol.

          I NEVER wear skin-tight dresses…and some of them are actually cute. But, I'd look skank in it, lol.

          I wore a pair of leather-like leggings to a party with my ex-bf (he invited me). HUGE MISTAKE! He left me in the basement alone with his "friends", and the conversation went something like this:

          "friend" A: I like those pants.

          other "friends": *snickers*

          Me: Um…thanks

          "friend" A: What kind of fabric is that?

          other "friends": *snickers*

          Me: You'd have to go to Express and pull the label to find out…

          "friend" A: Oh ok. Well, those are some really nice pants.

          Me: *polite nod*

          "friend" B: Those are some nice pants…

          Me: *praying that my bf returns soon before I catch an attitude and cuss out his "friends"*

          You woulda thought I was in a room full of teenagers, smh. I haven't worn those $50 pants since… -_-

        3. OMG! They were so lame!!! Girl you better wear thos pants again! That's $50 worth of clothing sitting in your closet! LOL

          I'm very selective about what dresses I wear b/c like you said…don't wanna look stank. Primary reason I put back this spandex mini skirt yesterday. I felt like it was doing the most and I didn't have a friend w/ me to tell me if I was bugging or if I should put it back.

      1. Throwing Sea and Snow Salt @Kema, Beef Bacon & LaLas….

        #BigBootyGirlProblems

        I hate yalll… *pouts*

        1. *hands GirlSixx some rock salt on my behalf*

          *files #BigBootyProblems under #ProblemsIdLikeToHave next to #HighTaxesForRichFolks*

  43. May I request a booty analysis post Friday? Hopefully some of SBM's more blessed women will (anonymously) offer the comparison photos needed.

  44. I think Free is very attractive and I did do a double take when I saw her behind. I wonder why she isn’t married yet. She seems like she’s down to earth. I’m starting to see that there is so much I don’t know about men. I honestly don’t know how men rate women. I think I’m a cute chick even on my worst day even with the extra weight. But I guess that depends on an individual’s idea of beauty (Hell someone who I barely even know said I was a 3, sigh social networking is the devil). I think I need to stop worrying about other people’s perceptions, ratings, or opinions. I need a blog break for awhile, or at least until I get tougher skin. Goes back to lurking…..

  45. Lyrically Inclined: With an a$$ like that I can understand why she’ll be hesitant to date guys for fear of being viewed as a sex object. The blessing and curse of a pretty bootay…

    Yesssssssssssssss.

  46. “Can she cook? Is she a freak? Will she cut the hand off a nikka trying to steal from you? It’s these intangibles, and more, that keep women winning”

    I love you Streetz but I have to call bullsh*t. I would bet BIG money that *most* dudes wife a women based on looks and like you said her head skills before any of those other attributes. I can think of tons of women who are being wifed on mere looks alone…they have little personality, burn water, don’t work. It’s called being a trophy wife…AKA Vanessa Bryant. #shotsfired

  47. <blockquote cite="comment-316906">

    cynicaloptimist81: lol…because I’m so tiny and, from the front, you just wouldn’t expect it…cause I’m not hippy…at.all

    And then when walk by it's like BAM!!! They like, 'where did that come from, I wasn't expectign that AT ALL!' I know that's right…I just got a lil hips with the last baby…so I totally understand you…TOTALLY.

    1. When I was in high school, I had the whole 90's baggy clothes & tims thing going on. Well, the one day I decided to wear a bodysuit shirt & a skirt (buttoned up on the side…loved that skirt, lol) to school, I walk into geometry class and the ONE black guy shouts out "OH MY GOD, *insert gov't my name*!" I was mortified! Then, he just kept looking at me going "I didn't know…I just didn't know", LOL. I was sooooo embarrassed, LOL. Smh…

      Rough, lol…I've got war stories for days…

      1. I so understand – the first time I was slim with nothing but a butt – and always wore baggy clothes – and the one time I wore fitted dress to homecoming I was coined "triple B" BigBooty(insert my governement name).

        They used to sit in the quad like wait for it wait for it LOL!

  48. <blockquote cite="comment-316931">

    Hugh Jazz:
    Don’t exclude krystllyght’s friend that puts Free’s butt “to shame.Absolute SHAME!”

    Dude I'm serious! Her azz was so big when she stood up it looked like she was still sitting down! I haven't seen her in years else I'd post her pic!

  49. <blockquote cite="comment-316770">

    krystllyght: I thought y’all judged us based on an a$$ to waist ratio (scientifically, hip to waist ratio). Here, I learn something new everyday. Free is beautiful (an old friend looks almost like her twin) but when do ya’ll think an a$$ is too big, like, is there dealbreaker a$$? I was chit chatting with a dude about this one day. He told me he wouldn’t want a chick with a body like Buffy’s. He said it caused too much of a scene. Is this attitude common? It was reassuring to me because I know I’m lacking in the backing. Maybe he was just trying to make me feel better. *shrugs* At any rate, I enjoyed this break down of the CBA. It’s reassuring.

    I've often wondered about this too…when is an a** TOO big? So I asked an a** man and, for him, it's NEVER too big, but I think at some point it looks cartoonish and ridiculous (i.e. Nicki Minaj), especially when it's not proportional. But, on the other hand, he could not fathom why some breast men ogle a woman with ridiculously large boobs. He thinks it looks silly. I think it's the same concept…if that's what you like, then I guess it's never "too big." I def would not want an a** as big as Free's (I would be sad if I had to tote that thing around all day). She must be tired of being viewed as a sex object. Who could take her seriously? I think it's bordering on ridiculous and a lot of men can't "handle" an a** that big anyway (I think you know what I mean), so why would you want that? #colormebaffled

  50. Yo for 43, Free is a major look. You have woman half her age not even looking close to her physically. If a little stomach is her only negative i'll take it and work that out. I honestly rate my women physically based off proportion. she has to be proportionate. Either you big up top and from behind or you small up top and small from behing. it never looks good when you large up top and have flat ass or vice versa. i agree with you streetz about winning the marathon rather than 40 yrd dash but if you cant get the 40yrd dash down then a good indication is that you wont get to the marathon.

  51. Ladies, really…

    You need to try a white man. Just try it, and you won't look back. No disrespect.

  52. The reason why Kim K is so hot is that she has a big butt and a flat stomach. As long as men like big cellulite butts the longer women will walk around overweight. Baby belly can be eliminated with some exercise. A big butt on a 5'3" woman is fat not sexy all of these women will be the ones that don't age well because they thought they were hot when they were over weight and sexy.

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