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30?!?!?!

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When I was growing up, I always looked forward to that milestone birthday that I thought would make life better. Turning thirteen meant my parents had to respect my gangsta as a teenager, turning 16 meant I could drive legally, turning 21 meant I could drink while driving , and turning 25 meant my car insurance wouldn’t be as expensive. Now that I’ve passed the quarter century mark, I’m trying to slam the brakes harder than Tiger on Thanksgiving. I’ve even resorted to lying to people about my age. I figure if I start now, by the time I’m 47, I’ll have lied about my age for so long, I’ll actually be convinced I’m only 31.

30 is that cliche age that people base their success on while they are young. Just about every smart move made by a person during their 20’s is designed to boost them across that 30 year mark with flying colors, hopefully with some time to spare. One false move can set you off pace. The job, finances, and love life all have to be figured out by 30 or you’ll spontaneously combust when the clock strikes 12 on your 30th birthday. Hence the origin of the pact formed between men and women, usually after drunken yet mind blowing sex:



Suzy Wong: GOTDAMN…that was good.

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Nicodemus: I know. You’re welcome. By the way, where’d you learn to do that thing with…

Suzy Wong: Don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answer to, homie.

Nicodemus: Fair enough. Listen, I think we make a good team, but I’m not ready to settle down. If were both single when we turn 30, we should get married. Deal?

Suzy Wong: Keep slinging it like that and you’ve got a deal.

30 is probably the reason for this reported epidemic of black women unable to find a man. I’m sure a woman looking to settle down can find a soul mate eventually, but they probably won’t/haven’t by 30. This is understandable as the proverbial biological clock rolls on and society continues to imply that you are defective if you aren’t married by 30. Men probably have the same concerns about turning 30, until they smooth talk some young dumb girl into sex but it’s clearly not made into as a big a deal as the woman’s plight. **cue James Brown’s It’s A Man’s World**

I could sit here and tell you not to sweat turning 30, age is just a number and all that jazz. But the reality is that everyone is fascinated with the turning 30, so as much as you try you won’t be able to avoid it. You’ll attend a slew of 30th birthday bashes and endure the agony of friends whining to you about turning 30 and still not doing x, y and z. I’m still on the fairer side of 30, but I’m not to worried about it right now because I’m still far away from 30 (look at that…lying right there), and I’m pretty sure my body is not going to combust or age dramatically overnight. (I hope)

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How do you feel about 30?

Seriously, I’m 24,

Comment(111)

  1. I got something near a decade to worry about that (if you round to the nearest integer), so with that said, I don't feel anything about 30… But I'm with that whole "life in place" by 30 move.

  2. I look to my left and my right, and I raise my middle finger to that middle school teacher who said to me, "look to your left and look to your right, one of you will be either dead or in jail by the age of 21." Me and my boys are still alive and record-free. I'm excited to turn 30, to keep proving that the hate we gave little black boys in the 90s was for naught.

    I got a few years to go tho…

    1. That's an effed up thing for a teacher to say. Did the teacher get fired for that? I can't see how that would fly.

      1. If you ask most Black men reading this blog they said it to them as well. It was a common saying in the 90s. Actually it's in Boyz in the Hood.

        1. I've had teachers say look to your left look to your right, some of you will go to college, some wont, some will be in jail, some will have kids, etc.

  3. This post makes me feel OLD AS HAYLE!!!!!!!! LOL – I wouldn't sweat turning 30. If you're doing what you want to do – its a milestone but a true blessing amongst all things! Embrace IT! If you're not aging your dead PERIOD!

  4. i make 30 on september 30th (be on the lookout for the "espn films presents: tunde 30 for 30" party). i'm actually excited about it. on my birthday i'm actually going to be working for the first time in my life. going to be living in a new city. new milestone. new life.

    1. I'm 29 on September 29th. Enjoy your champagne birthday. I'm already making some big plans for mine!!

    2. I think you just solidified my "NYC for my birthday" plans. Then I can <del>steal your shine at your</del> be at your champagne birthday extravaganza.

    3. I will let you know how it feels as I will be turning 30 a month before you… Aug 31

      I dont have a problem with turning 30… as long as I look good when I do so. So I'm gonna lose this 15+ and start looking for my 'I just turned 30' freakum dress

      1. "So I’m gonna lose this 15+ and start looking for my ‘I just turned 30′ freakum dress"

        Now That's What I'm Talkin Bout!!! *Samuel Jackson Voice* 🙂

    4. wait Tunde is moving to NYC?

      Or just partying at NYC?

      Dope theme though… but with a theme like that you have to have it at the over priced 40/40.

        1. you know all that southern chivalry you been talking doesn't run well on these ugly streets right homey? We are going to have to change that avatar to a mean mug shot.

          and I will tell you like I told Slim… If you live in Harlem you need to budget parking tickets into your life or pay for parking.

        2. i've already faced the fact that i'm going to sell my whip. well i still might keep it. haven't decided yet.

          and chivalry works anywhere. this i'm sure of. lol

  5. I am in no rush to get older…

    Although I obsess about women… I can do the single thing for 15 more years…

    As far as being successful by a certain, blah…

    I just need to keep improving as a human…

    Need more street smarts…

    Enjoy

  6. I'm two months from 29 and getting nervous, lol. The plan to have six children before 36 is looking a little bleak to say the least. Career-wise, Im set to have two doctorates and a six figure gig lined up by then but I'm anticipating at least a mild panic attack if my life is still headed in Oprah's direction come this time next year.

    Nevertheless, having lost several colleagues along the way, i'm incredibly blessed to here and will to make the most of my purpose-driven 30's…. making 30 the new… 25 ( cause 20 was a mess).

    *fingers still crossed for my soulmate though!

  7. I don't know why, but I love my age (27). I'm always asked and could never bring myself to lie. Growing up, I was always younger, relative to my classmates, colleagues, sibling, and friends in general. I hated always being the youngest.

    In fact, I love saying my age, b/c I know I don't look it, so it's an internal compliment. I thank my mom for the babyface…foreveryoung!

    Also, I hate the self-consciousness that comes with being in one's early 20s. I abhor trying to please everyone else. The older I get, the more comfortable I am in my own skin…and confidence is very sexy!

    So, it's not about an actual birth year, but the confidence, life experience, and opportunities that come with age that I enjoy. We all know ppl who act out of their age, for better or worse…or even yet, look out of their age, for better or worse.

    Therefore, I'm more attracted to the non-tangibles of a person, rather than their birth year!!!

    And 24? You're a babe! Still early 20s. Enjoy it well! And make sure you go skydiving on the big 3-0, as I plan to!!!

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-317159">

      Tash:

      I don’t know why, but I love my age (27). I’m always asked and could never bring myself to lie. Growing up, I was always younger, relative to my classmates, colleagues, sibling, and friends in general. I hated always being the youngest.

      In fact, I love saying my age, b/c I know I don’t look it, so it’s an internal compliment.I thank my mom for the babyface…foreveryoung!

      Also, I hate the self-consciousness that comes with being in one’s early 20s.I abhor trying to please everyone else.The older I get, the more comfortable I am in my own skin…and confidence is very sexy!

      So, it’s not about an actual birth year, but the confidence, life experience, and opportunities that come with age that I enjoy.We all know ppl who act out of their age, for better or worse…or even yet, look out of their age, for better or worse.

      Therefore, I’m more attracted to the non-tangibles of a person, rather than their birth year!!!

      And 24? You’re a babe!Still early 20s.Enjoy it well!And make sure you go skydiving on the big 3-0, as I plan to!!!

      <blockquote cite="comment-317159">

      Tash:

      And 24? You’re a babe!Still early 20s.Enjoy it well!And make sure you go skydiving on the big 3-0, as I plan to!!!

      I don't think he's really 24. I think that was sarcasm lol

  8. The big 3-0 used to be a big deal for me. I had my whole life planned out. The saying goes "Want to make God laugh?Tell him your plans." I can't complain about where I'm headed. Things didn't go quite according to plan but I'm blessed nonetheless. I have my beautiful son and I own my own home. There are still a few things on my list that I want to accomplish, but I figure everything happens when it's suuposed to .

  9. I don't really think much of turning 30. It's an arbitrary deadline. Anything between turning 21-65 (assuming they don't raise retirement again) is irrelevant. Having a zero at the end of the number doesn't change anything. Until here on out it's solely about whatever is personally on my agenda. And for me that will likely be when I'm 27 and out of the Navy.

  10. Yall are some ol geezers and farts on this site. J/K forreal Im just kidding

    However, Im looking forward to becoming 21 in December and hopefully I can just hover around these early 20's. I am in no rush to get older. More mature or intelligent- yes. Older- no.

    Nonetheless, I wanna congratulate all you older cats on doing your thing and giving younger guys/women like myself things to aspire to.

    Shoutout to all the cougars and milfs that read this blog as well.

  11. The countdown is on, I’m steadily approaching 30. I have mixed emotions about it, pretty much anxious and excited. I heard 30 and thereafter is great…I hope its true.
    Sometimes I feel so old though…mentally not physically. I was just putting together my 4th of July bbq playlist. Every song is old school thus, I am feeling extra old right about now! So far I have: The Gap Band, “Outstanding”. Freddie Jackson, “Jam Tonight”, Luther Vandross, “Glow of Love”…I need more. 27-30+ crew… please help!

  12. Liz sent a whats app to everyone letting them know when she gets back, aint you coming to the welcome back e party???…what that, you don';t have whatss app??? you don't have a smart phone???

    …well damn…

    *plays angry birds*

  13. I am excited about turning 30…next year! However, I will be 29 next month and I plan to get my Sasha Fierce on and be a new woman! I have to exit my 20's with a bang. Im changing my hair color to some wild sh*t, taking more risks and not caring cuz once I hit 30…I will be eating from life with a whole new menu : )

  14. I'm 24. I gives a damn about thirty. That age never even crossed my mind. I'm living too much in the now I guess. Bit my plans and goals and try to achieve them with not much of a significant deadline.

  15. I'm not close to 30, but I already know that it'll just be another year for me. I never follow the age milestone traditions. Didn't drive until 17. Didn't drink on my 21st birthday. Won't have to worry about car insurance at 25. Eh. I'm pretty sure I won't have it all figured out by 30. Only thing I know for sure is that I'll still be enjoying the life that I live.

  16. When I turned 30…I went on a cruise with my then boyfriend and now ex-husband…it was a pivotal time for me…I was hearing the faint ticking of my biological clock…and I was thinking about perhaps getting married..but, I wasn't ready for either one…I ended up getting married at 34, however…everything happens in good time….enjoy your 20s…..as most of your are still in your 20s…travel, live, love…..have the time of your life…I know I did……by the time you hit your 30's you will start pumping your brakes a lil bit and slowing down….and contemplating your future a little bit more……the 30's are pretty awesome..but, the 40's are where it's at…you really know yourself by the time you're 40…what you like, what you don't….what you will put up with, what you won't…..bull shytin' around is not an option….so, just live in whatever moment in time you are and make the best of it….:-)

    Good post RCLS!

    1. Queen, our bios are very similar chica! For my 30th I went to Miami with the then-boyfriend, met his people and we took a short cruise to the Bahamas. Beats a big club blowout any day. True meaning of Grown and Sexy, lol.

      1. late to this post but I'm planning a tropical getaway for mine this October. I have been to quite a few big 30 bashes so far this year and enjoying that scene with them–not my own dime!! LOL While I thought I initially wanted a party, I'm going with some good friends and will be bringing in my next chapter on a beach–one of my favorite places to be. I did Miami for 29.

        I have already purchased the official "birthday" dress and maybe the shoes however! gotta be fly no matter where I am! 😉

        27-28 were great times in my life and while 29 has been a true transition, I'm SO looking forward to the next stage in my life! I embrace all birthdays as a blessing to live and love and grow!

  17. When I was around 27 I started hearing about how 30 changes people. Friends would tell me about it, I'd read articles in which celebrities would mention it, everywhere I went it seemed people were talking about how sh!t just changes when you cross that mark. I wanted to know if it was true, so I couldn't wait to turn 30.

    Mid-way through my 30's I can say that everything people told me was true. You do change; pretty much effortlessly and for the better. I wouldn't go back to my twenties if you paid me.

    1. "I wouldn’t go back to my twenties if you paid me."

      I can understand that. Like MyBoyBlu, my mom would probably consider me too young to reminiscence, but the only time I care to think about and pine for the days of yore is when I'm not doing anything: gaining new experiences or acquiring more/new knowledge.

      1. LOL!

        I was a late bloomer, so the bod is definitely better now than it was in my 20s. In my 20s, I still had the body of a teenager and, for me, that was NOT cool.

  18. I turned 30 last year. My wife went all out and made it an awesome day. But I felt little pressure to measure myself up to standard. There are people I'm doing better than as well as people who are kicking my ass, and this will be true whether I'm 30 or 300.

    People put impossible pressure on each other. If there's any criticism that I've gotten it's that I dont have any kids yet. Never mind that I've traveled the world, been married six years, have a nice salary, little debt, and own a home – surely I must be a failure because I haven't spawned!

    1. "…surely I must be a failure because I haven’t spawned!" Well, trying is the fun part – get busy!

      Seriously though, enjoy every bit of your married life before you have kids. Once they're in the mix you can no longer prioritize each other the same way.

      1. <blockquote cite="comment-317190">

        Teflon Mom: Seriously though, enjoy every bit of your married life before you have kids. Once they’re in the mix you can no longer prioritize each other the same way.

        Sure it will be different but good different. There are times were you will look forward to them graduating and leaving you to run around the house naked with your spouse but all the little/big things that come with being a parent will outweigh that feeling. You will never do enough before you have children…NEVER. Funny because I now see that my children are a part of what I needed in my life in order to balance it.

        1. BB – you read my mind…running through the house nekkid was EXACTLY what I was thinking about!

  19. Still rocking my early 20's but I"m not nervous about turning 30 someday…or even 40. Age aint nothing but a number. I will only be nervous when I have accomplished very little when turning 30.

  20. As someone who is in their early 30s I can tell you 30 means nothing. One thing I've learned is that it's is not old like I thought before. But it is older. I don't miss my 20s because there was so much I didnt know then that I know now. One thing that has change is women. I still get confused as far the dating group. Is it 28-35, 30-35, or 35-40? Women over 35 seem to want the guys over 40. Also its not as easy to tell age by appearance as it is in your 20s. You basically see older, grown, and young until a woman tells you her age.

    1. Co-sign. 30 is just a number. I think depending on what kind of quality women you are looking for would depend on the age range you go for. Women can be retarded at any age, though.

  21. Like with many milestones, the anticipation is a bigger deal than the actual milestone, you were more excited about being a teen at 11-12 than you were on your 13th birthday, you're more amped to drive at 15 and you cant wait to drink legally at 18. Myself, having turned 22 2 weeks ago, i think im more excited for 30 than someone who is 29 1/2. I would like to think that i would be settled with the house,car,career,wife etc by 30 and the fact i have a little under 8 years to get it done theres a lot of optimism there. But in reality *cues Aaliyah-Age aint nothin but a number* and whether i cross the finish line at 26 or 33 doesn't matter.

  22. I turned 30 last year and I was sooo excited. As a matter of fact starting at age 28 my cake inscription was centered around that number. At 28 my cake read, "countdown to 30" and at 29 it read, "final destination in my twenty-something world." While others were lamenting about turning 30 I was rejoicing. As I got older and realized that there are many in the world who don't make it to 30 I realized that I had something to be thankful for. On my journey to 30 I have seen some people leave this world before they are anywhere near close to 30 and not all of it was related to violence. Growing up my mother would always ask me, "Which of the favors of your Lord will you deny?" It is God's favor that allowed breathe to move through my body and see another year and that is why when my LS asked me when I would start lying about my age, I told that I wouldn't because I am eternally grateful for the blessing bestowed upon me. I have this same outlook for this coming birthday which happens in exactly 35 days.

    1. <blockquote cite="comment-317185">

      divinepearlz: As I got older and realized that there are many in the world who don’t make it to 30 I realized that I had something to be thankful for.

      This is such a great point and is often overlooked. Thanks for spreading the positivity this morning.

  23. YAY for 30!!

    I'm looking forward to 30, mostly because I konw I'm blessed to be approaching 30 without any outtawedlock babies, a good shape, and the kowledge that I will not look like I'm 30. HAHAHA!!

    Milestones? Eh, I don't really think about it. I'm not married, and I'm not pressed about it at all. Will I be married by 30, who knows. Does that make me any less awesome? No, it does not! For me, turning 30 is truly about making sure I continue to live my best life, whatever that may be.

    But, for those who are interested, my friends and I are in the process of planning our "30 in 2012" birthday vacation party extravaganza for Memorial Day Weekend. #30FTW!!!

    1. #TeamTaurus

      I'm the oldest out of my crew (my birthday is 1st) and they're like "OMG…you're old" Bish…speak for yourself! I'm 29…I have no kids…I look great…I feel great. Sure, there a few aspects of my life I would like to change…but otherwise, I'm doing pretty good for myself.

      Thirty, smirty. It's just another birthday. Not that serious to me. It doesn't define anything I've done in life, or havent' done thus far. I'll be the same old LaLa, just smarter and hopefully still getting mistaken for a high school student *insert obnoxious laughter*

      1. <blockquote cite="comment-317201">

        LaLaBakir: Thirty, smirty. It’s just another birthday. Not that serious to me. It doesn’t define anything I’ve done in life, or havent’ done thus far. I’ll be the same old LaLa, just smarter and hopefully still getting mistaken for a high school student *insert obnoxious laughter*

        All of this!!

        When asked after how old do you think I am, this cashier in the store told me I looked 16 or 17,,,

        Taurus women have awesome genes!! And we look awesome in our jeans!! #TeamTaurus

  24. Eh,

    Age really ain't nothing but a number… When I turned 30 three years ago it was a big ToDo. Got my 1st full length female ranch mink coat as a gift from then husband, had a big party and just sat back and basked in the moment while thanking God for all my life blessings that he bestowed upon me so early on at such a young age. (good job, home(s), A beautiful mini-me, etc.). Now that I am 33 1/2 I'm lovin my 30's even more, I never got a chance to live my 20's the way most people did so I guess I'm sort of regressing……. Hey, 30 is the new 20 riiiggghhttttt.. *HardWink*

    Goood Post.

  25. Turning 30 was great, before the big day came, I intereviewed everyone I knew and asked them what it was like to be in thier 30's and everyone told me the same thing, Its so much better than the 20's. 30 is the age when you stop caring what others think, its the age when you say f*ck it, I'm going to do me, either you're with me or you're not, if you're not, cool. When I turned 30 i left all the drama friends and family behind, if it didn't directly involve me, I was no longer concerned. Now turning 31 was a different story, 30 was a new found attitude, 31 was a reminder what accomplishments I haven't achieved and the panic of my future, i.e. my finances are where I want them to be, second guessing the career path I chose, I will be like near my 40's by the time I have my first child, blah, blah, blah. I feel like eventually everything will fall into place, so it is what it is. But hands down, I take the 30's over the 20's anyday

    1. "30 is the age when you stop caring what others think, its the age when you say f*ck it, I’m going to do me, either you’re with me or you’re not, if you’re not, cool."

      This is Truth.com

      You finally become comfortable in your own skin so to speak.

  26. Wow…there are some old folks out here,lol.

    Still got an entire decade to get to 30, so…not very concerned.

    Have a nice day.

  27. I wont lie I was shook of 30. 30 felt like a finite, end of life age. Now that Im here, it's not so bad. Its actually pretty tight! Its all about how you take care of yourself ,how ou feel, and all that Jazz.

    Meet 30 head on and make it yo bytch!

  28. It's funny, when I was younger I thought that 30 was senior citizen territory…when you're 20, 30 is a decade away…and you're only 2 decades old. But I looooove my 30's. The 20's were more free spirited and fun, but all of the best things in my life have happened in my 30's. Better pay, bought a house, hubby, kids, better understanding of myself. More comfortable telling people "no". More set in my ways, but realizing there's a lot I still don't know…and that's ok. Like Max said, you couldn't pay me to go back to my 20's.

  29. Funny this is the second blog on getting older I saw today. Check out http://www.revdarylwilliams.com for another take on getting older. Anyway, there is nothing wrong with getting older, even crossing 30.When I think about who and how I was years ago, I fear for the workd if I had remained the same. Be clear plenty of people are a hot mess and to get older. Think about the 18 year old version of you with the resources you have now. I don't know about you, but for me that is a scary and dangerous thought. There just comes a time when you have to accept like Ced the Entertainer said, Dog You Grown.

  30. Out of no were I begin to panic around spring of last year…the year I turned 30. I was not sure why, but I begin to wonder if I had accomplished ‘enough’. I have the husband, children, homes, cars, great job and I am still in college to do what I really want. Yet, I felt unsure if I taken the right path. I was wondering if I had made the right choices thus far. I was wondering what more could/should I have done.

    Closer to my birthday I begin to look around me and realize that YES I had made the right choices. 30 makes you think about all the things that are to come: retirement, grown children, traveling, and all the other great things that the future will bring. I think the panic signals that you need to get on the good foot about your future if you haven't already. So, the panic was a good thing.

    I DO NOT, repeat, do not miss my twenties. In my twenties, I was invincible, now I know better. I also questioned myself a lot in my younger days. The lessons that I have learned are priceless and well worth my journey. I have so much more confidence in my abilities, my body, and myself, it is amazing. I am truly in awe at the ‘me’ that has come this far. I have seen myself transform from a young woman into a full grown woman. I know what I want and how to get it now. I actually take more chances now that I am older, good chances and not the risky ones.

    People have no idea how fast 30 comes. I still remember my 21st birthday as if it were yesterday. Time FLIES…so don't sleep on it:).

  31. i've never had a real birthday party as an adult.

    i want one for 30.

    unfortunately and fortunately, that's next Valentine's day and most folks are with their boo that day or weekend. sucks.

    my 20s have been a series of highs and lows so i'm thinking 30 will bring a little stability.

    i'll meet 30 with a smile. i don't feel it, don't look it, and i've a feeling 30 will be a mighty good year for me. 🙂

    1. My friends threw me a surprise party when I turned 24…that was fun!

      I wanted to do an Old School party for my 30th. Like everybody has to dress in 80's & 90's attire. A cake in the shape of a Kangol. Alladat! But then I figure w/ all the $ I'd be spending…I might just get a new car. *shrugs* who knows

      1. "I wanted to do an Old School party for my 30th. Like everybody has to dress in 80′s & 90′s attire. A cake in the shape of a Kangol. Alladat!"

        Oooohhhh LaLa that sounds Dope!! I mean Fresh!!

        Hopefully you get to make it happen. *DoestheCabbagePatch*

      2. oooooh i would totally come to your old school party! that sounds fun.

        and you know, since i'll be in NY and all now…

        woowoo. 🙂

        i had a mini surprise when i turned 25 but it wasn't a party per se. never ever had a party. womp.

        1. The last time there was talk of a birthday party for me was when I was turning 16 and my mom asked if I wanted one. I told her to cop me 2 boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts and we'd call it even.

          I guess other people have tried since then, but it's enough for me to be in attendance of my Libra sisters' parties.

        2. WAIT!!! You'll be in NY?!!! When did this happens Muze????

          Ayyyyyeeeeeeee! All ya'll invited *does the wop*

          The time was 6'o clock on the Swatch watch, not time to chill gottat date…can't be late…ayyyyyeeee!!!

      3. That does sond good! I can see it now…

        Wait whats that song you're playing?

        "The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump

        Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump.."

    2. One of my best friends was born on VDay. She's the oldest in our crew. Dang, so everyone is going to be in NY in 2012. "rethinks the location of the 30 in 2012 trip*

  32. <blockquote cite="comment-317185">

    divinepearlz: As I got older and realized that there are many in the world who don’t make it to 30 I realized that I had something to be thankful for. On my journey to 30 I have seen some people leave this world before they are anywhere near close to 30 and not all of it was related to violence

    A woman my age had a stroke last year…A STROKE! She is still alive but I was so caught off guard because she was only 30! I am no slouch with my health but that made me tighten up a little bit more.

  33. I'll be 30 next year and its nothing too big to me. I have no complaints about life even though I'm not as far along professionally as I would have liked to be but I'm thankful for what I haveand where I'm at in life.

    Definitely want in a rush to get married but now that I'm 2 months out…I'm still not stressing it. No kids yet thankfully and have only had maybe 3 scares in my life. I've pretty much accomplished every goal that I've set in life that didn't change along the way.

    I'm looking for a younger tender to spend time with though lol #imjustserious…lykidding

  34. I am excited about 30…it's just another reason to have a great party and take a fabulous trip!

    Great blog suggestion KIR…funny, thought provoking, and REAL!

    <blockquote cite="comment-317198">

    K.I.R.:
    Funny this is the second blog on getting older I saw today. Check out http://www.revdarylwilliams.com for another take on getting older. Anyway, there is nothing wrong with getting older, even crossing 30.When I think about who and how I was years ago, I fear for the workd if I had remained the same. Be clear plenty of people are a hot mess and to get older. Think about the 18 year old version of you with the resources you have now. I don’t know about you, but for me that is a scary and dangerous thought. There just comes a time when you have to accept like Ced the Entertainer said, Dog You Grown.

  35. wrong blog lol

    <blockquote cite="comment-317169">

    willfollow4cash:

    Liz sent a whats app to everyone letting them know when she gets back, aint you coming to the welcome back e party???…what that, you don’;t have whatss app??? you don’t have a smart phone???

    …well damn…

    *plays angry birds*

  36. "30 is that cliche age that people base their success on while they are young. Just about every smart move made by a person during their 20′s is designed to boost them across that 30 year mark with flying colors, hopefully with some time to spare. One false move can set you off pace. The job, finances, and love life all have to be figured out by 30 or you’ll spontaneously combust when the clock strikes 12 on your 30th birthday."

    Truth.com!

    Being that I'm a goal oriented person anyway, I had a very clear picture of what my life was supposed to be like when I turned 30. At 30, I was supposed to kick back and chill for a bit…enjoying the fruits of my labor. 30 was gonna be my "Rest Stop", so to speak. However, divorce downgraded my household income, caused me to walk away from my single-family home, and, obviously ended my marriage. A boyfriend at 30?! An apartment at 30?! Under $100K household income at 30?! About a month away from my birthday, I really started assessing this and going…"What the hell is going on in this here cartoon????!!!! What am I doing? Where am I going with this path I'm on? Is this the right path?" I'm not gonna say I was depressed…but I was def walking around with a bit of a Charlie Brown cloud. And when the clock struck midnight…just 16 days ago…I had an INSTANT ATTITUDE! I mean, I was pissed. I just wasn't happy…at all. I'm still a bit salty actually, lol. I can type all the "oh, I have so much to be grateful for" stuff for y'all but…its not real for me. I mean, I'm thankful…grateful for a great career, great kids, an involved co-parent, transportation, great fam & friends…but, my life is just NOT where I want it to be. I'm not satisfied…or fulfilled.

    What I've forced myself to do now is accept the cards I dealt myself and play this hand to the best of my ability…adjusting my plans as I need to. Acceptance has removed the Charlie Brown cloud…but…I dunno. Guess you gotta live it to get it, lol. * shrugs *

    1. i FEEL you.

      i was just having a convo yesterday about how my life is completely not what i planned it to be at 29. i was supposed to have a Ph.D, a successful husband, a child, a Range, and two best sellers by now. lol.

      i need to start having plan Bs. #nopreggo

    2. But that's the thing…changes and obstacles will be there forever so that's okay. Those changes give you a chance to show what you are really made of. Those obstacles give you a chance to utilize your wisdom and an opportunity to acquire more knowledge.

      Nothing I've planned has gone exactly as I mapped it out, but the journey itself has taught me so much about ME and life in general. I can honestly say that God knows what's best for us despite our plans.

      1. Not trying to trivialize what you are saying at all, but I'm positive I'll have that perspective once things are as I'd like them to be or at least close, lol…then, I can look back and go, "Aha! I get it now! The path makes sense!" LOL. Don't get me wrong, I've learned a lot about myself, others and life in general…gained a lot of wisdom. However, my feelings and my logic are NOT on the same page right now. What you're saying makes perfect sense on paper…but I ain't feeling it…just yet, lol.

        "Having" and then "Not Having" does something to your psyche. Like finding yourself back on the bus after having a car for a decade…like depending on unemployment after losing the job you had for 15 years. Never having…or still getting there…is one thing. "Having then Not Having" is a whole notha beast…

        1. Aw, *hugs* sometimes it's just like that….you know something with your mind, you're just waiting for your dang feelings to catch up. I get it. Stay strong, I'm praying for you.

        2. “Having then Not Having” is a whole notha beast…

          I Feel You!!!

          but the way I look at it is like this yeah my household disposable income is not what it used to be, my lifestyle changed somewhat too — not drastically, but it did change (I have to think 2x now about an extravagant purchase because that bill is on me now whereas before I never had to worry about stuff like that) but in the end I have Piece of Mind and I am in a good place emotionally which was my goal in the first place, so I just shake it off.

          You will eventually get there — just stay positive.. *E-Hug*

        3. I'm glad y'all can feel where I'm coming from…and I'm sure I'll be fine eventually.

          Don't get me wrong, there's a lot more to my life than worrying about what's not right…so I'm "living my life like it's golden" and all, lol. I've def gained a thang or two in my 20's. And, I don't regret my choice to divorce (I do regret putting myself in the position where it was necessary though). But, you know…"when I'm alone in my room, sometimes I stare at the wall…and in the back of my mind, I hear my conscience call", LOL…and, when it does, it says all the stuff I said above. Not, "yay, 30" or "forget those horrible 20's", lol…

  37. I'm going back to school for a year in September, and everytime I look at job requirements & salaries within the field of my program of study, I'm trying to figure out how to make sure I'm in an acceptable position (by personal standards) by the age of 30. I've done well for myself thus far by the grace of God, having found a job right out of University (I see what friends and acquaintances alike are going/went through; the job market is not friendly towards new grads), and having paid off all school loans and the upcoming tuition in the past year that I've been working. I'm trying to be strategic & ish, but I'm just going to have to work hard and leave the rest up to God. Easier said than done, though. Before I passed out last night, I was still trying to do a salary survey based on job postings. Lol, it's how I figured out exactly how to attack the job market by the time I graduated, though, so hey.

    I've already shed my naiveté and some undesirable aspects of my character, so I won't be one of those looking back on my 20's and saying that I wouldn't go back to them for the world. I'm not particularly reckless, and I think I have a good enough head on my shoulders. I would like to be headed towards or already experiencing wedded bliss by the time I reach that "magic" number, but que sera, sera. All in all, I'm not particularly eager for 30, nor am I dreading it.

  38. I am actually happy and anticipate my 30th Birthday (turning 28 this year) although I haven't reached all my goals thus far I can say I've done pretty well so far. At first it scared the hell out of me I'm single, no kids, yes I finished college so far with two degrees but I still don't feel accomplished. But you know what I can't stress myself… I'm still alive and kicking and I thank God each day he has given me the opportunity to do so and with his will I know I will do great things :- D I CAN'T WAIT!!!

    Yes I still remember my 21st birthday its crazy how time flies (cues small violinist on my shoulder)

  39. The only thing I'm really dreading about 30 is my high metabolism finally deciding to pack up and ship out (those will be dark times for me). Other than that, I welcome each birthday because you never know when your last one might be. Admittedly, I've got quite a while before I hit the 3-0 and the only thing I'm really hoping for is to be debt free, a home owner, and in my right mind. =)

  40. I turn 30 on July 11. Its a Monday. Guess where I'll be? At work. Just started a new job and don't want to use a personal day where I probably won't do anything anyways because………..its just another Monday. And I'd like to get paid. My girls and I will celebrate next wknd in Chicago and that's what makes me happy. No big bashes, no overseas trip that I can't afford in the middle of a recession. As a card-carrying member of the 'Common Sense Association' I am practical to a fault. Am I married or close to it? Not even. Do I want to be? Not right now. Do I have a phat condo or townhome? Nope. Just a nice apartment that I can afford where the rent is always paid on time. In my dream career? Nope, but what I do pays the bills and uses my skill set so it'll do.

    Sometimes I wonder, do I want "xyz" because I really want it or because that's what society tells me I'm supposed to want. There's a difference 🙂 I"m pretty self-aware. I'm not ready to be anybody's wife right now. A relationship would be cool…but I'm a believer in timing. You can't "force" someone to be in a relationship and even if I could, that takes the fun of the randomness out of it for me. So in the meantime, there's this thing called life, and I'm going to take it one day at a time and do what I know is best for me. The rest will come. And even if it doesn't, I'll be content and thank God for the blessings I have.

  41. At 24 (in November), I'm not even checking for 30, I'm currently on my 135 (lbs) by 25 campaign. The only thing I really want by 30 is a house and a good start on saving for retirement. There is no reason to be worried about your life being in this nice little neat package by 30. Some people don't really find their niche until after 30. Suze Orman was waitressing at 30 and Paula Deen was a broke divorcee at 42. They've both built empires. I will embrace 30 because I know when I reach that age, I will have matured and have more self-awareness. What's not amazing about that?

  42. <blockquote cite="comment-317238">

    cynicaloptimist81: Not trying to trivialize what you are saying at all, but I’m positive I’ll have that perspective once things are as I’d like them to be or at least close, lol…then, I can look back and go, “Aha! I get it now! The path makes sense!” LOL. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve learned a lot about myself, others and life in general…gained a lot of wisdom. However, my feelings and my logic are NOT on the same page right now. What you’re saying makes perfect sense on paper…but I ain’t feeling it…just yet, lol.“Having” and then “Not Having” does something to your psyche. Like finding yourself back on the bus after having a car for a decade…like depending on unemployment after losing the job you had for 15 years. Never having…or still getting there…is one thing. “Having then Not Having” is a whole nutha beast…

  43. I ain't never turning 30. I'll be 25 forever, in fact, I told myself that until I remember my 25th birthday, I will not turn 26. And since I start drinking at midnight on my birthday, I usually blackout by 10AM and the rest is just sleepwalking.

  44. This tickles me a little because I remember turning 30. It was great, I had a fabulous birthday dinner and thought I was on top of the world. And I was for a 30 year single, black woman.

    I turned 38 two weeks ago and life just keeps getting better for me. I don't miss 30, perhaps her body though..LOL!

    The age where you feel most comfortable in your own skin is the best age to be, IMHO. I'm finally there.

  45. I can't co-sign any of this positive energy my fellow commentors have for turning 30. I'm 28 now and I hate myself. Think of all the mistakes you made, all the money you haven't, all the good times you haven't had. 30 is just a number? Than why do people start judging you and what you accomplish based off your age? You can't be 30 living at him with your momma? You can't be 30 and not have a car? You can't be 30 and trying to rap? You can't be 30 and not have a degree? Options become limited. Not that I am trying to accomplish any of those goals still.. but I'm saying. What if I finally start that invest firm like Whoopie Goldberg in the Associate??? I would have to sacrifice and move back in with my mom to begin with? But I am a laughing stock b/c I am 30 living with my mom. See what I mean? Society encourages you to try less when you get to this age. Its not fun.

    Especially being a man. Especially being a man. You are expected be a bread winner, but there isn't room for innovation as you get older. When you are chasing mark zuckerberg….. you can't help but feel like you are constantly missing the boat on starting the next great .com

    1. Based on my comments above, I feel you, Man.

      I ain't bout this hooray 30 stuff either…lol

  46. I'm with Cheekz Money and Cynicaloptimist. I'm only 27 but I've been dreading 30 since I was 25. When I turn thirty, I'll be married for ten years and it'll be fourteen years we're together. I have a wonderful husband and wonderful kids and we're closing on the house we just built in just a couple of weeks. I KNOW I'M BLESSED. I DO. But it feels like the end of youth and not once have I ever truly felt young. (I hope that makes a lick of sense.) I'm hoping as that day draws nearer, I'll feel less like this.

  47. I am with cancergirl08. I didn't bankrupt myself and throw a baller party @ 40/40 because i turned 30. I live in a studio in harlem and am proud i have real retirement plan and went to on on that day. I don't even actually like my job and keep showing up on time and doing a great job thats called being an adult and turning 30 doesn't change that but its a checkpoint to revaluate your life and see how far you have gotten in your goals because as humans being we are taught to judge and sometimes you judge yourself to see where you are in life.

  48. Pingback: 30?!?!?!
  49. I'm 34. 30 is cool as long as you did what you needed to do in your 20s. I don't look "34-ish" and although these little mealy mouth youngins think I'm an "old head" now, I remind them my legs still kick with the same intensity that they did when I was their age.

    30 isn't a death sentence. Enjoy it and quit sniveling.

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