Last week, we talked about the cost benefit analysis that needs to be performed by men when they dismiss perfectly fine women. The response was what I expected. One conversation that I had was with women who were angry that Frees Ass was trending. Not because they were jealous, but because the buzz was centered around her butt and nothing else. Mind you, the vast majority already sees Free as a pretty woman, but the women who spoke to me felt that it demeaned her overall worth as a person due to the superficial emphasis. I mean I feel them, but I don’t tho. It’s comments and viewpoints like the one above that confuse me. I actually witnessed this many times with women. This is a perfect example of a little thing that I call the Women’s Beauty Recognition Paradox.
The Women’s Beauty Recognition Paradox states the following: A woman wants to be recognized for her beauty. She is upset when those people she finds attractive or respects their taste, either do not compliment, or complement enough, her physical attributes. However, when a physical attribute receives an overwhelming amount of accolades, the woman feels insulted, demeaned , and hopes to have non physical attributes about herself more revered than visual beauty. This, in many ways is part illogical and part asinine to me and I’ll explain why.
I’m pretty sure that women with big breasts, big butts, killer legs/abs, or even a gorgeous face, are fully cognizant of this reality. They also know how to highlight those specific features to better appeal to men and look their best. So if you highlight those parts of your body, why are you so incensed and appalled that other people would comment and applaud those same features?! Now, I’m not talking about the lude, unwanted advances of pervs and creepers, I’m talking about the genuine appreciation for those aesthetically pleasing aspects of you. It makes me think that you are hitting us with reverse psychology; you say you hate it when people highlight your body parts almost to make us talk about them MORE!
Whether women want to admit it or not, men don’t notice your personality first. We see you, and we immediately process your appearance and how it correlates to our personal tastes. If we find you attractive, we let you know and pursue. What’s funny is that the less attractive the women, the more other aspects, like personality, may be enhanced similar to blind or deaf people whose other senses are enhanced to compensate for the impaired sense.
Your appearance generates immediate reaction, because it’s tangible. Your personality, character, and every other non physical aspect that make who you are only become appealing after conversation. If you have a great personality it will be recognized quick, but people will need time to confirm it. Other than the spanx swindle, a woman’s attractiveness is clear cut. It’s you’re attractive or not. Personality? I gotta get to know you better to comment or make sure your not a lame. I can salute a great character as vigorously as a great body. Good is good!
I hope to gain a better understanding of women’s feelings on this paradox. I hope to get all points of view and really dissect this topic.