Home Featured I Hate Weaves – Part Deaux

I Hate Weaves – Part Deaux

Two Indians & a Latino were killed in the making of this hair

About a year and a half ago, I wrote a post.  There was something bubbling within me and I had to release it.  A black bubbly hatred that was sure to soon consume me.

I dropped “I Hate Weaves”

It was an innocent post.  I had one goal with that post: tell the story of how I came to detest the lie to the world that many women wear upon their head.

What ended up happening was the reigniting of a battle as old as time. A war that no one knows when it started, but will never end.  Animosity that will be passed down from generation to generation.

You know what I’m talking about … you saw School Daze.

Natural Hair Wearers vs. The Perms vs. The Weave Wearers

I remember watching the drama unfold.  Someone with a weave would call me ignorant.  Then a proud afro rocking Jill Scott wannabe would step in and deal her something serious.  “You subscribe to a false sense of beauty.  Straight hair isn’t true to our roots … etc … etc.”  Then someone without a weave, but permed hair would step in to preach on the simplicity of a perm, and drop a casual “horse hair hoe”.  Nuts.

Now, a little older and a little wiser … I can revisit the subject with a new vigor.

See Also:  Bad Sex: Should Bad Sex End a Good Relationship?

But don’t get it twisted … SBM still hates weaves!

India Arie’s #1 Fan

First and foremost, my hatred of weaves isn’t me saying I love natural hair.  Don’t get me wrong … I do love most natural hair, but it’s not a must.  I do and always will love dreds and the love of my life has been natural for a year now … but I loved her just as much when she had a perm.

Those who take the time to look good and maintain their natural hairstyles … I love you.  After seeing how much extra work is required to go natural (don’t deny it … it’s work) and look good doing it … much respect.

But to all of you who just let your hair do whatever the f* it wants and then yell at those who wear a perm or weave … kill yo’self … I prefer the horse killers.

Chemical Burn Brenda

I have come to learn (and I’m ignoring anyone who disagrees) that having a natural hairstyle that looks good is a lot of work.  Sometimes it’s a matter of money, sometimes it a matter of hours in the day, sometimes your just a little lazy.  Whatever your reason for accepting the lye … I feel you.

As long as your hair is filled with your own hair … I appreciate you.  European sense of beauty … whatever.  You take the time to leave the house looking good and no Indian woman was snatched bald in the process.

See Also:  Are There Not Enough Black Men for Women, Or Is That Just an Excuse?

The Horse Haired Heifer Diva

What can I say … I don’t like you.

Mean?  Yes.  I don’t care.  The thought of cuddling up behind you and sticking my face into hair that didn’t come from your head makes me nauseous.  You can’t go into water, you can’t go in the rain, you can’t get into a fight, and your dropping hundreds on fresh yaki (or whatever the f* it’s called).

And if you hit me with the “What’s wrong with wanting to change it up … keep your hair fresh?” … I’m gonna have Dr. J smack you (yeah … I know he’s cool with weaves, but he doesn’t need a reason).  It’s hair, not nail polish.  If it was meant to be changed every 2 weeks, God would have added a release.  I hope your happy that some poor Indian woman is bald so you can think you look good.


2011 … Last year of the weave.  We can do it people … we buried n*gga, swag is dead, let’s do it.

– SBM aka “Is that horse hair?” aka “Look at all these bald Indian women”



  1. I like #TeamNaturalHair even if your hair is short…

    And I automatically assume if a woman has fake hair we will not get along…

    I just want to put it out there that a weave will not get you more positive attention from men

    "If you put a dress & lipstick on a pig, it is still a pig…"

    "Men dress up for women, while women dress up for other women"

    So, you wear whatever you want on your hair, but don't justify it by saying men like it… that & the lightskin argument needs to die a swift death…

    I just can't see men throwing away hot women for not having straight hair <DEL> eurocentric features </DEL>, although they might prefer it…


  2. I haven't really commented in a while, but I'm getting the opportunity to do so now, so I will. I still have (and likely always will) have natural hair. That said, I've been tempted to get extensions (not that I really need them to get long hair) or weave just to get easily managed hair. My temptation lies completely in the simplicity of dealing with the hair. It's only the price and stigma that keep me from doing so.

    I imagine that having a weave/extensions allows for changing up your style without actually making drastic and permanent changes, and that's what draws me to it.

  3. Ive been saying for the past couple of weeks that I want to put a weave in just to see what the big deal about it is, but the boo won't let me lol… Ive had put extensions on before but only temporarily.. Im definitely not against them, its a safer way to change up our style without damaging our hair.

    On another note, did you know that Indian women actually shave their head as an offering to their God? I actually watched a documentary on it, an the women offer it for a miracle, as a prayer, or favor. All the hair is then collected and the monastary where the women go and have their hair shaved they actually sell it and with the income generated from that they help these women with food, shelter, education, and medical assistance. So I dont feel as bad when I do spend that money because I know eventually my money will trickle down back to them in one way or another.

    Funny post tho, and Dr. J would smack any one if given the opportunity lol

      1. No, it actually was on the history international channel. It was like 2 hours long but very interesting

    1. Well, no shade to your documentary. However, the women rarely actually get paid for their hair sacrafices.

      1. Sorry, but those Indian women do not get paid for their hair. All and I mean ALL of the money goes to the Temple and the distributors. These women have no idea their hair is being sold. They still live in abject poverty even though the Temples and distributors are making millions off of their hair. They don't even have bathrooms in their homes in this day and age! It is sad to see how poor those women are and their living conditions are horrible.

  4. You have every right to your preference…every single right.

    However, just as you distinguished between the natural chicas who maintain and those who let the kinks do whatever, i think the same distinction should be placed for those who relax and those who wear weaves.

    Whichever category women fall into, those within that category are NOT all created equal. This is confounded by the fact that MANY women have been a member of at least 2, if not all 3 of those categories in their adult life (of course, we're all natural until age 7-8…hopefully), and either choose to change it up, or realize what works or doesn't work.

    Women are the most dynamic creatures after all…and Black women are the most dynamic of all, when it comes to our hair… and without even having to perm or weave, our natural hair alone bears testament to that. However, as you mentioned TWICE in your post, you do realize the hard work it takes to maintain natural hair.

    There are some women who relax their hair so much, they no longer have edges, and have chemical burns all over their neck, ears and forehead. In fact, their hair has become drastically thin, damaged, and fried! Not a good look at all. So, you would rather have that than a natural looking, well-maintained, low-key weave? Hmm…

    What about the woman who is actually natural under all that weave, however, her current schedule and/or geographical location makes it impossible to maintain without looking *as u described* when she leaves the house. Would you rather she grin-n-bear to make a statement? ( I know u said u'd prefer the horse killer over a poorly maintained mane…just making a point).

    We've all witnessed the good, bad, and ugly of all 3 categories. Again, I understand your preference, and you have every right to it, however, if I was a guy, I'd prefer a woman who maintains her herself up there to the highest standard, no matter how she rocks her mane…tis shows that she maintains her mane (or lack thereof) below the neck as well. Hygiene is sexy!

    And I will bet that you've drooled, fantasized and even beat off to a beautiful celebrity even while she left an ACTUAL poor Indian bald so she can look good.

    1. Tash, everytime I see your comments, it got the goddess yellow color…

      I don't like to get into intellectual heavy convo (moderate intellectual convos)

      So, i don't peruse alot of intellect heavy manifestos…

      But the fact that you are getting likes speaks well of your swagnificence here…

    2. Tash is on a roll! I always "like" your comments. nothing much else to add. I haven't been natural since I was 9 years old but I'm sure I will in my adult life so I will def be a member of all 3.

  5. Great Post! I've been natural for over 10 years now and deciding to grow locks was 1 of the best decisions I've ever made. I'm proof that a black woman can have healthy, thick natural long hair wthout buying it. No need to add extensions to "change it up". Find an experienced, patient natural hair stylist and she will open your eyes to the endless natural hair style options.

    Men love my hair and the compliments are endless and the best part is my man can grip my hair firmly while stirring the cocoa from behind and NOT have to worry about it coming out!!!!! 🙂

  6. #playing nelly's hot in here# it's about to go down like a hooker in this joint… I understand why women do the weave thing…money,time,etc I have seen an couple of nice ones, I can tolerate a nice one…but the women who wear ghetto,tacky and all kinds of colors ones need to swan dive off a roof but throw the girl who did your hair off the roof first…i guess I don't hate them enough where I wouldn't hit it, but I won't take you home. Sorry ladies, but at the end of the day a lie is a lie and I know damn well if men started carrying fake d!cks in their pants you would be pretty upset when you got them home.

  7. First time commenting* I'm natural now and I absolutely love and adore my kinky curly but I will be getting weave put in! The reason for that is to give me a break and its a protective hair style for my natural hair. I'm growing this beautiful healthy hair and every once in a while giving it a break from being handled is a good thing. Now when I actually get weave put in I get good hair and put out the money to have it done nice. There's nothing worse than busted weave. So sometimes we wear it to help our real hair grow healthier….

    1. "Now when I actually get weave put in I get good hair and put out the money to have it done nice."

      This. Right. Here.

      is what makes a world of difference between a good weave and a bad weave..

      You get what you pay for when it comes to hair, that prepackaged stuff although it has come along way still has restraints and honestly alot of it doesn't really match our hair texture so it always look a little off. With a good weave you can get it wet/go swimming as if it was your own..

  8. *rolls eyes*

    I'm not even trying to be rude, but I'm supposed to care about your opinion on my hair because…..?

    You're a random dude behind a laptop, I don't even know what you look like, you could be missing an eye for all I know, and I'm supposed to give a flying frick about you and your tirade against horse hair???? Seriously, why does this even deserve a post? Why can't we just be happy that black women have more options regarding their haircare than they've ever had an leave it like that? Why act like a woman with weave in her hair is some sort of personal offense to you? I myself am natural, have been for 6 yrs this past Monday, but honestly…. How does that affect you???? I could have a wig shaped like a purple birds nest on my head and it still would have no bearing on your life whatsoever, just as your opinion has no bearing on mine.

    Let's just give it a rest people. It's 2011…. can we stop obsessing over black women black women and their hair choices…. Actually let's just stop with obsessing and the critiquing of black women period. I understand it can be difficult to come up with new material, but let's give this topic a rest.

    1. Hey Lady,

      Thanks for the comment. I feel where you're coming from and I can understand how sitting around listening to men talk about their opinions on women's hair might be a little much, but it's a mans blog. I think we spend a lot of time extolling the virtues of our women or talking about what we, as men, need to do to be better (yesterday's post for example), so every once in a while I think it's fair that we talk about some of the things we don't like so much.

      Contrary to what you might think, we put a great deal of effort into bringing quality content to the site. We do our best to mix in fresh, new, never before discussed content with the age old barbershop/beauty salon conversation. If you happen to show up on a day when you feel the conversation is a little trite, feel free to just log off for the day. I mean that with all due respect.

      Of course, if you don't want to log off and you want to drop a negative comment, as you have today, you have the right to do that as well… it's just a little annoying. But whatever, were adults, we can take it.

      1. FUKKK THAT!!!

        lol.. nah im chillin. But I echo Most's sentiments.

        Why is it when we revisit a topic or talk about an adverse topic, certain commenters want to come here and look silly trying to ether us? Its funny but its the net and we love ALL comments.

        Look out for next weeks posse cut: All of the Gripes. Im.Goin.In.

        "I'll Lose some friends over this tonite! Cut that bomb off!!" – FunkMaster Flex

      2. @Most

        First off: You know damn well this is not a man's blog. It may be written by men, but its mainly written for the consumption of women. 85% (i made that up, but you know I'm probably right) of the readers are woman and you guys cater your posts to them all the time.

        For the rest of you guys….

        Why do I have to "log off"? I can't offer my opinion? Isn't that the whole point of the blog? Discussion? Commentary? I offer one dissenting opinion and people try to run me off the blog? Get butt hurt talking about I'm trying to "ether" them…. WDDDA???? That doesn't speak to anything but your own issues. I stand by my post. The topic is not only dumb, its TIRED. And SBM's opinion on hair remains as irrelevant to my life as it ever was.

        1. Lady: "I can’t offer my opinion? Isn’t that the whole point of the blog?"

          The funny thing is you don't see the irony of that statement.

        2. @Lady

          Sometimes they cater to women (a little,) & sometimes we have to drop fire on you & say (you're buggin')

          Like you, I have to get over the fact that women get what they SAY they want, and still complain…

          I'm lovin' it…

        3. *grabs Starita by the a$$, lifts her up off the ground, pins her upper back to the closest wall while returning the kiss*

        4. LMBO @Hugh!!!!

          Oh that's how you get down, huh?! Alright now!!! LOL… I bet the lion didn't even fall off your shoulder when you did that, LOL…playa, playa!

          If you ain't crazy…lol…

        5. WHOA!

          *trying to catch my breath*

          I do declare Hugh!

          *grabs Hugh by the hand and takes this into a place more private*

    2. So…. you write a comment on a Blog written by the creator of said blog, about a topic Mr. Blog Creator decided he wanted discuss on his blog… And then have the nerve to question Mr."My name is the Blog website" about his relevance to the issue…



      1. Listen it Friday, #WHY YOU MAD

        He picked a light hearted (in my opinion subject to start of the weekend). I read it and laughed. At the end of the day it @TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld blog he is writing about his feelings, actions and thoughts. Let the man live

        He doesn’t personally care what you do with your head, but at the same time like every other human being he has the right to an opinion. He's not knocking black women, but let’s keep it funky We love our hair we spend a lot of time money and effort doing it. So when a man see's all the time money and effort put into a trash weave all he can do is say (Forget this weave shit I hate it)

        Stop being so sensitive … You come on a blog written by men to hear their opinion/advice on how men think, see and feel and then get offended when you read something you don’t like. I don’t agree with everything they say on here all the time, but hey it's their blog, as long as none of it is poorly written then it’s cool with me and most of the people on here. But then again like @TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld you have a right to your feelings and opinions.

    3. Nothing new to add … the Family spoke on my behalf better than I could have.

      As always … appreciate your comment as with everyone's but …

      Why the f* you come to someone's house and then call their furniture offensive? I can't even say I'm on a soapbox because you had to come here, read the title … and decide to finish the post.

      I hate weaves … #WhyYouMad

      1. Hey Boo…

        Just wanted to make sure you understood my comment clearly:

        I don't think your "furniture" is offensive, just completely irrelevant. 🙂

        1. Girl bye… with your Florida Evans fro


        2. To say we always cater to women means you REALLY dont read our blog.

          Make some sense when you comment. Please?!?!!

          LOLOLLOLOLOL @sshole

          Nikkas outchea think theyre Nielsen or Reuters with their bullish stats.

          Go get your relaxer, your box braids and get allll theee wayyy the fcuk off the blog!

    4. @ Lady

      You do realize that this blog is called Singleblackmale.org right???????? This site was created as a place for MEN to come and discuss issues. Women do most of the commenting because they love to talk and sh*t, but lets not get it twisted. It doesnt matter if the poster is sitting behind a lab top or sitting in a spaceshit posting his thoughts, this is the place that the MEN behind the site designed to talk about ideas that are on the mind of men. @ Lady, you are clearly showing your insecurities in the post. It aint nobody fault if you are buying weave, to get the look and feel of hair that other women (whatever ethinicity they may be) have naturally. I to hate weaves, and I think that weave dependency in the black community is MORE Widespread that Welfare Dependency! Yes..I said it! I aint scurred…

    5. Wow lady relax! It is nice to get commentary from a brother on weaves and this is his take, no need to go all ballistic, he is just giving a point of view on the topic, which I for one am happy to hear! I dislike weaves for many reasons, for one, they make some women look older, a good ten years older than they actually are. Also, if it isn't done well, they look wiggy and who wants to walk around looking like they are wearing a wig, I mean the point is for it to look as natural as possible, but very, very few of them do!!! Finally, why are we trying to make those Koreans rich by buying hair from them. I'd rather make my own people rich. Carry on!!!!!!

  9. Awwww Streetz, I have much e-love for you but damn.

    *Stands on soap box behind bullet proof glass*

    I wear a weave.

    So I will hold up my corner.

    In an ideal world all women would wear their hair natural, we would all embrace everyone’s inner and outer beauty blah blah blah.

    Reality check.

    All women are not considered equally beautiful. Before any dude says “because their not”, we know that.

    Everyday women are bombarded with images of beautiful women and are told this is what beautiful is.

    As a growing woman, I realise that we cannot all fit the prototype but that is the beauty of diversity, and the different can be beautiful too.

    This is not necessarily built into the female psyche. For many it’s a lesson that needs to be learned. For more it is a lesson that never is learned.

    I’ve also grown to understand that acceptance of yourself and your own natural quirks is what needs to happen before you can embrace your own natural beauty or hair along with serious education as to how to manage natural hair. Don’t even get me started on the cost of a good hairdresser!!!

    This is the process I am undergoing as I take my self form weave to natural hair.

    After perming and damaging my hair I had to cut all my hair off and start again.

    This was not a look I was comfortable with at 20 years old. So I looked to weave to feel comfortable with my look. I have been complimented when my hair is either way, the gauged preference is another story.

    Over time I have grown my hair out and sported a mini afro for brief periods, even to my 1st grown up job. My confidence in myself and hair grew but I still go back to weave occasionally for comfort and ease. (FYI UK weather is not a fan of the afro)

    Many women are not ready, or may never be ready to embrace natural beauty and slamming their choice of hairstyle can further confirm their fears and insecurities that they can never feel good about their appearance.

    Some women get their on their own. Many do not ever get to that place. Young women have been bombarded with images and adverts in the media and the growth of the celebrity culture drums the message into young girls with ever-changing bodies and impressionable minds that beauty can only be received and revered if it fits a certain mould. Some girls only see the “cookie-cutter” beauty win.

    So what do they do. Cry about it? Maybe.

    Accept their own beauty? Possibly.

    Or set about to obtain the additions and changes to their own natural state to bring them a step closer to that revered standard of beauty.

    I have no excuse for the rainbow coloured weaves though.

    *gets of soap box and seeks medical attention for shots fired*

    1. UK weather is no bueno for natural hair? Great. I'll be in London for a year for clinicals, starting in January. So what do you suggest? I was hoping to rock my natural mane in the UK, b/c the hot and humid weather I'm in now makes that impossible..What do to, What to do?

  10. The main thing I've learned since I went natural is that natural hair is hard work. As long as your hair is healthy and you are happy with it, more power to you. Whether it's a weave, braids, locs, afro, perm or whatever women need proper maintenance.

    1. But…I don't get why people think having natual hair is hard work though. I've been natural for 6 years and I pretty much have a wash (or re-wet) and go routine.

      Its MUCH easier than when I had straight hair. No more worrying about the rain or swimming, no more having to make sure I have a brush or comb on me at all times, no more worrying about the wind, no more worrying about if I wrapped my hair JUST right the night before, no more flat ironing it in the morning…etc.

      I realize that everybody has a different type of hair, but I really think the key is to find the best products that work for you. Once you find them, dealing with your hair should pretty much be a piece of cake, IMO…

      1. I think you're in the lucky minority. For me I can't just do a wash and go. If my hair is out, I have to twist/ braid my hair or the next morning, I wake up with a bird's nest. I can't comb my dry hair or it breaks A LOT! But when it's wet it shrinks (obviously) I can swim, but not if my hair is out and I have to wash and detangle it almost immediately after. I wash and detangle my hair once a week (it takes like 3 hrs). My hair isn't long enough to just put myhair in a pony tail and even if it was it has too much puff to look good anyway. For someone who has been in braids/ twists practically my whole life, this has been a difficult transition for me. I doesn't help that a lot of people (ie family members) are very vocal about not liking my natural hair, think I'm just going through a phase of trying to prove some kinda a point about my afrocentricity even though that isn't the caseM

        1. My hair is super curly so its gets tangled easily too. I've found that if I put it all up on in a big bun on the top of my head at night before I go to sleep, it doesn't get too tangled too bad. I do wash it or at least wet it and comb through it with conditioner it it about twice a week to keep it from getting too tangled.

          I don't comb my hair dry either. If I tried that, I would pull ALL my hair out…lol. I just usually comb it out in the shower while conditioner is still in it and then I don't really mess with it once its dry. I do put product on it while its wet and that helps with the shrinkage once it dries.

          I guess I just don't get it because it seems soooooo much easier than when I was always messing with my hair when it was straight. Trying to keep it straight was such a pain…

        2. @ Sade and @Thereluctantsocialte

          Just curious since Im in the process of going natural, which products do you two ladies use on your natural hair?

        3. "I think you’re in the lucky minority. For me I can’t just do a wash and go. If my hair is out, I have to twist/ braid my hair or the next morning, I wake up with a bird’s nest."

          Same here…I can't wait until my hair gets long enough so for my lazy days I can just put that thing in a bun.


          I know you didn't ask me but if you haven't already you can go to blogs like bglhonline.com, curlynikki.com and naturalchica.com for all types of info on going natural a.k.a transitioning.

        4. I use Shea Moisture products. You can buy them at target or online on their website. I like them because they are all natural. I use the shampoo, and the conditioner… also I use the Raw Shea Butter hair mask and the Curly Cream. They also have a spray that you can use to rewet your hair.

          Those products work the best for me, now that my hair is pretty long. When it was shorter, I used Ms. Jessies products. The curly pudding is good to use if you"re looking for something to create curls. You'll also need to use something to mosturize it as well though.

          The best thing to do is just try out different products until you find what you like. My best friend went natural too and I find that she and I need to use different products because our hair textures are different. Certain things she loves, I don't like at all and vice versa.

          But I think those two companies are a good start. I've also heard good things about Kinky Curly. I've never used them before but I know people that have. You can buy them at Target and Whole Foods usually.

          I'm excited for you…Good luck! 🙂

        5. @ TellyLongLegs

          Of course your input is welcome as well! I welcome all suggestions because I decided to do this without being informed on the subject at all…..I was kinda talked into it by several people so I decided "what the heck" 🙂


          Thanks girl! Am researching these websites and products now! I'll let you know how it turns out, I could use the support cause I'm bought ready to give up lol

        6. WATER!!! I think people sleep on the power of h2o. I've been experimenting with a lot of different products and you'll probably have to as well. I use Shea moisture as well, kinky curly doesn't work for me. I end up with a lot of flakes and/or gunk in my hair. I like Eco styler gel but it has some ingredients I don't love. There's this Argan oil shampoo and condtitioner that i'min love with but I'm still learning and searching. Raw Shea butter is fun but I don't like the smell. That's all I can think of for now.

          I guess the bottom line is you'll probably end up doing a lot of experimenting. Another option if you have the time is to mix your own products using she butter as a base. Good luck!

          Oh and YouTube has been very helpful. There are lots of natural hair care people with interesting things to say. I'll put in some links later on. Hope this helps 🙂

        7. @QueenBinthestreets

          You're not informed at all?! Well, that's not a problem at all, the internet is your friend lol. Go to youtube and search natural hair and there's a plethora of videos on styling, products, and etc will come up. If you can't braid someone will show you, if you can't twist someone will show you, it's ridiculous.

          There's going to be plenty of times where you're going to get discouraged, especially since you're transitioning. The key is to focus on the end result, stay focus and surround yourself with people who are willing to support you whether online or IRL.

          Good luck on your journey!

  11. I’m a woman. I hate weaves.

    I did try to weave my hair once, a few years ago. It was a beautiful looking weave and cost me a lot of money. I had it on over night. In the morning I was back in the salon demanding they take it out. They couldn’t understand:

    I felt like I’d slept with a hat on.

    I like to touch my hair, and every time I touched it there were tracks on my head.

    It felt eerie to touch my head and not feel my scalp.

    It had to go.

    They tried to get me to keep it for three days and see if I’d get used to it, being my first time and all. I told them to take it off or I would. They took it off and I told them to keep it – do whatever with it.

    I appreciate a well-done weave on other people – I might even say ‘Your hair-do looks good’. But I could never weave my hair. I tried it and couldn’t stand it.

    Have you written an post on SPANX? Lol!! Coz I’d love to read that one! Email me a link if you have, won’t you? If you haven’t…well what are you waiting for – give us a laugh.

    1. I thought I was the only one! My first one I kept for 4 horrific days. It felt like a heavy hat, couldn't feel my scalp either. They told me I should just get less hair. The next one was 1 day. It just didn't work for me.

      Now, that being said, those 4 days were filled with men salivating over me. Some of the same men who I'd rejected before came at me with a new resolve because with all my curly weave I looked 'more exotic'. One guy said, "I hate weave, but it looks good on u." Now he swore up and down that if I ever got a weave he would never talk to me again, but the day I got it he was all in my face.

      There is a paradox of men who all claim they hate weave, but stay boo'd up with chicks who wear them. If men are going to rant and rave about them, it's cool with me bc I don't wear them, but pick a side and be consistent.

      I personally don't like how they feel on my head, but I don't have a problem with the next girl wearing them. I don't believe in all that self hate mess ppl spew, it's a personal choice.

      I just can't do it bc I was mortified when my man was running his fingers through my first weave. It was then that I made the decision to take it out the next day. After it was gone, he asked why I took it out, bc he LOVED it… *blank stare* I also hate weave, but I'll rock it again for my man… *shudders at the thought*

  12. I really don't care what other women wear on their heads to take a strong enough stance either way……but, I think it's really all about hair diversity…nobody is trying to piss anyone off with their weave..they're just trying to be diverse and look good….if the weave looks good, who cares about anything else…..I have never worn a weave myself but I have no problems with those who do…..

  13. As I've gotten older, I've stopped caring about the perm and the weave wearers. My only issue is those women who act like perms/weaves give life, and give it more abundantly. "Giving honor to God, Pastor, Dark&Lovely, Hawaiian Wave #32, Deacon Board, members and friends. God is good!!!" lol.

    Another thing that bothers me are the women who perm their daughter's hair as soon as they see a kink. You have all of these little 4-10 yr.old girls with damaged hair all because their mothers were lazy. Yes, lazy. It doesn't take a lot of money to do a child's hair, and with all of the blogs, videos, books, it isn't hard. Just lazy. So, the mother has on a full weave, and her daughter's hair is pulled into a tight, pathetic ponytail, hair broken all around the edges. That's child abuse.

    As for me, I rock my dreads, and I love every minute of it. I look in the mirror, and love what I see. I loved what I saw when I wore a loose natural, but I only kinda liked myself when I wore a perm, even though men in Atlanta everyone else seemed to love it. #shrug. Wearing my hair sans chemical straighteners has really made me see me, and I like me. Maybe its a similar experience for women who wear weaves/perms.Maybe they look in the mirror, and think they are seeing the best of them. I would disagree, but they have to do what they think is best for them.

    1. Another thing that bothers me are the women who perm their daughter’s hair as soon as they see a kink. You have all of these little 4-10 yr.old girls with damaged hair all because their mothers were lazy. Yes, lazy. It doesn’t take a lot of money to do a child’s hair, and with all of the blogs, videos, books, it isn’t hard. Just lazy. So, the mother has on a full weave, and her daughter’s hair is pulled into a tight, pathetic ponytail, hair broken all around the edges. That’s child abuse.


      It is sad that small women have to go through this… This where a strong father needs to come in and JUST SAY NO…

      Just setting your daughter up for follicle failure…

      Somebody does need to call ACS…

    2. My baby momma drama put this Brazilian perm in my daughter's (she's 9) hair..its suppose to not do as much damage as a reg relaxer, so she claims….Am I being bamboozled or is she correct?

      1. I'm no expert but from what I read it doesn't matter if it's a Brazilian perm or Australian perm, a perm permanently changes the texture of your hair. Now for some women (or girls) perms may not damage their hair but the key is to not over process and maintain it.

        Did her mom say it's a Brazilian perm or like a perm because then it might be the Brazilian keratin complex which keeps the hair straightened for like 6 months.

        1. That's it, that's the one..its suppose to last 6 months..and it looks pretty good..I didn't know if its bad for her hair or not

      2. My ex sister in law put that mess in her 11 year olds hair and her hair fell out and she is now rocking a short weave to help it grow back.. I wouldn't trust it.

    3. "Another thing that bothers me are the women who perm their daughter’s hair as soon as they see a kink. You have all of these little 4-10 yr.old girls with damaged hair all because their mothers were lazy."

      My mother permed my hair when I was 6. I dont think she did it because she was lazy. I'm what you would call tender headed. Who wants to cause their child pain. I honestly think she just didnt know what else to do. My hair ended up breaking off and the next step was a Jherri curl. ;-(

      1. "My mother permed my hair when I was 6. I dont think she did it because she was lazy."

        No it wasn't because she was lazy, but because we all are JUST NOW learning how to care for our hair in it natural state. She did what she thought would be easier for her to manage.

        Not all the products made for hair up unitl recently have been for OUR hair. In cosmetology school, they teach mainly how to relax and care for relaxed hair only. WHY? Did we not speak up and say, hey what about US?

        It is a beautiful thing to see all the blogs and videos on maintaining natural hair. As always, it took US to do what we should have done for US a long time ago. It's shouldn't have taken years of abusing and killing our hair and bodies to do it, but hey, we live and learn. We tried to fit in back in the day, we thought looking like our captors would lessen their hate for us…but did it?

        Relaxers are made up of some of the most caustic chemicals known to man. Yet, in order to look more 'beautiful' we breathe in and put on our heads something that could melt iron. Where's the logic in that?

    4. "My only issue is those women who act like perms/weaves give life, and give it more abundantly. “Giving honor to God, Pastor, Dark&Lovely, Hawaiian Wave #32, Deacon Board, members and friends. God is good!!!” lol"

      I agree. This reminds me of a when women like Joy Bryant think that they NEED weave like they need air. Like make-up and jewlrey, weave and hair is there to enhance your beauty ladies.

  14. Weaves, Lee Press-Ons, Spanx, Wonder Bras, Botox, colored contacts, etc. I'm through. Stop calling men liars if you can't pick your own actual face out of a lineup.

    The floor is yours…

    1. * plucks Spanx & Wonder Bras out of the list *

      Being real, I'm small but I've had two children who've done things to my belly and boobs that no amount of exercise will fix…and I was already a member of the itty bitty t.itty committee, lol.

      Let me have my Spanx and Wonder Bra!!!!!!!! I wear Spanx sometimes to smooth everything under my top layer of clothes and for belly control…keeps me from relaxing that muscle. I wear Wonder Bras cause I want to be a full B instead of a "mother of two" B, lol…

      Understandable, right?!

      1. "I want to be a full B instead of a “mother of two” B, lol…"

        ican't with you today…. BOL

        1. Girl, LOL!

          They just aren't the same after you have children…especially if you b.reast feed. Carrying loads of milk around on the regular does a number on "the girls"!!!!!

        1. If you gotta wear that joint everyday under everything, I can see men having a prob with that. If you get the chick home and she pulls that joint off and 20 muffin rolls pop out, I can see men having a prob with that, lol.

          That's trickery, lol…

        2. EFFFFF you and TWISM! LOL. I stay in spanx when I am wearing something very form fitting. Not because I am fat (nice size 8 here) but because it gives me that "smooth" look and hides panty/bra lines. It's called "looking put together"….half of the models, actresses you men pine over wear'em too.

        3. @BP

          BP: It’s called “looking put together”….half of the models, actresses you men pine over wear’em too.

          Don't pay them any mind…

          They know this already, hell — how many times we've seen pics of Bey's Spanx peeking out from under her micro mini numbers when performing? Now she just performs in a full out spanx with a jacket and a belt for effect.. *lol* Just Kidding — I hope.

        4. Thanks, Streetz.

          @C.O.: Thanks for agreeing on the trickery. That's exactly what it is.

          @BP & GS: Look, I'm fine when it's used properly. Really, I am. Buuuuut, when 95% of a woman's appearance isn't "her", it becomes an issue. And I didn't even fire shots at the fake breast and collagen lip injected crowd.

          Maybe next time….

  15. My hair has been natural for my whole life & with that said its been a tough road. It takes a lot to manage & maintain natural hair. But I do it because God blessed me with it. I can't do weaves…period. I wish everyone would "go natural" because I need more people to accept the hair that they were born with. That's not a shot at anyone who chooses to wear a weave or perm their hair, its just my feelings on the matter. I've already seen a rant or two posted so far (this is gonna be good). SBM you've probably started another sh*t storm this morning. Didn't anyone tell you not to mess with a woman of color & their hair? LOL *grabs popcorn*

  16. This argument will always be a touchy subject in our community. Its sad that it even has to exist. I wear a weave and don feel the need to explain why. I look great and my man gives a damn.
    If you want to be natural fine but how natural is it for men and/or women NOT to comb their hair and let it lock up? ijs

    At the end of the day whatever makes you look and feel best go for it!

    1. "If you want to be natural fine but how natural is it for men and/or women NOT to comb their hair and let it lock up? ijs"

      It's natural because when our left is left alone to do its thing…it locks. Most women know that manipulating their tresses too often causes breakage. Protective styles such as braids and locks allow for hair growth simply because our hair HATES to be handled too much. I am a braid wearer mostly and will be locking my hair soon and I am SO EXCITED!

      I am sure this is at least one reason why weaves and braids are so popular. Getting our hair 'done' weakens it tremendously.

      1. " I am a braid wearer mostly and will be locking my hair soon and I am SO EXCITED! "

        YAY! Have you decided how you will lock? I have sisterlocks and I think they are great!

  17. I wont pass up on a woman who wears a weave, but I will try my damnnest to get her to stop wearing it. Even the weaves that look "Good" just don't look right to me. I think its sexy as hell to see a black woman with a huge fro or cornrows, so seeing a black women with a weave just seems like taking a step back to me. Its also unique in that no other group of women have the same texture of hair and look right with those hairstyles.

    And as far as being too critical of black women? Well no one seems to have a problem going to see the self hating-white woman loving-lightskin broad chasing-angry darkskin dude-simp azz lightskin dude-black man is the devil-movies Tyler Perry comes out with weekly, but its a problem for us to say we just like black women as they are?

    We must be in Bizarro Land and nobody told me.

  18. Not a fan of weaves. Ive been a vocal opponent all of my adult life. Have i dated women that had weaves? Yes. But i've always expressed my opinons on them. I dont buy the whole "it's easier to manage" argument. Can't stand waking up to random weave strands strewn about across my pillows & bed.

    1. Ok so Rod, you know I love you like cooked food so don't get mad, but umm…you "don't buy" what the vast majority of the women commenting on the difficult mangement of their own hair are saying about it?! o_O Is that even allowed? LoL. What next, guys not gone buy it when we say our cramps hurt? Labor pains? "Nah it can't hurt that bad, suck it up!" *blank stare* In that case I guess we ladies can say "Blue B*lls?! We ain't buyin that one!" And leave yall hangin as we please. I went a little left wit it, but #imjussayin. LoL

      Anyway I say do what makes you feel beautiful, regardless of what societal standards or even the adamant opponent of societal standards has to say about it. I have yet to see a bad chick not get hollered at cuz she has weave or natural hair. And if there are those who determine whom they'll pursue based upon something as superficial as hair, as opposed to a woman's character (you know the stuff that actually matters?) welp you may have missed out on something special.

  19. This stance will forever and a day be funny to me. Because you have men who feel adamantly about weaves and you have men who just don't care. As someone mentioned above some of the women most men gush over don't walk out the door without weave or make up.

    This whole weave is a lie argument is even funnier – If a woman tells you its a weave why is it a lie. LOL I also think that men don't take into account that some women can't grow their hair or have lost their hair to things like alopecia or female pattern baldness. Even more drastic, my co-worker who has cancer she has strands so a wig or weave is needed. Would you suggest she rock a baldy?

    Maintaining a BLACK WOMAN'S hair is costly and time consuming no matter how you wear it so I am not knocking anymore who is putting their best foot forward and doing what looks good on them and most convenient for them.

  20. I wore weave once. Let me tell you, it's heavy. I have much respect for the ladies that wear it all the time. Their necks must be super strong. Seems like a strong neck would be a benefit to the men in their lives. Y'all gotta learn to look at the bright side of things.

    1. LMAO! I just disrupted everyone on my floor when I read this. You are too funny girl!

  21. I'm not a man….but I almost always hate how natural hair looks. If any one of you steps in here to say I am full of self hate, I might come behind you and tell you about how my self hate ejaculated on your mans face last night….ok no I wont. But I will be irritated. Take your boho shea butter carols daughter frankensence ass right on outta here though. I love myself. I love being black, I don't ever say wow, I wish I was white. Hell I even had natural hair for a good 4 or 5 years of my life. I just don't like how it looks. It s never looks as good straightened, mine had to be almost two years into growth to "fall" so for a good 2 years I looked like my hair was always running away from my face, and twist outs, bantu knots, braid outs and the like were time consuming as every f*ck I have to give you. Natural hair, in my opinion, doesn't visually look good enough to require so much effort and time. And for every style that you can front me that I like, it took some poor woman years to get there and all the before pictures make her look scarier than Mel B when Eddie Murphy denied her baby.

    I detest this natural hair trend running around. I wish I could go around with a grip of Indian Remy and a trunk full of No Lye and get all these women back to looking presentable in public…..but I get that its a total preference thing. So I wont….

    What I will say, SBM, is that youre totally entitled to your preference. However, remember that for every misconception you have there are several exceptions of note to discount your theories. You mentioned weave wearers who can't get wet or brave elements….and to me that's ludicrous. I rarely wear a weave (haven't had one since 2005, I believe) but my friends who do jump out the car and dash to the club on rainy or humid nights without a care. Their natural hair is braided up. Weave doesn't frizz terribly or fall prey to any style fallout like my relaxed tresses will in the elements. We go on vacations and they swim, go in straight, come out wavy and go. Meanwhile I go in straight, come out with my curl pattern, have to go home and wash blow dry and restyle before anything else happens. My natural haired friends are usually holding our purses coats and cameras during this time though, cuz men ain't checkin for those fro headed heffas anyway….Just kidding. That was mean. My natural headed friends get plenty of play. Sometimes.

    Honestly though, I see only advantages to weaves. I don't wear them because I am a single parent and I can't afford to maintain a quality one when it could go to something else like soccer camp or some other domestic parent and kid thing. As a matter of fact, most women I know transitioning to natural style utilize weaves until they feel like their hair is at a respectable length to be seen. I don't see this as a war of worlds really, I just think its a preference. And for every man who doesn't like them I know at least 10 who do/don't care.

    1. I always enjoy reading your comments…

      And This… "Take your boho shea butter carols daughter frankensence ass right on outta here though." *PushingUpDaisies*

    2. If any one of you steps in here to say I am full of self hate, I might come behind you and tell you about how my self hate ejaculated on your mans face last night….ok no I wont.

      Sweet. Baby. Jesus.

      I hope someone reads a beautiful eulogy at my funeral, 'cause my heart is about to stop. I literally Laughed out Loud. LOUD!


    3. Lmao

      I love all of this comment.

      Let these brothers know that there is weave that is meant for summertime/poolside fun aka Wet & Wavy and Spanish Wave. All that matters is that the women’s hair is healthy and looks good.

      Luckily there are a lot of websites dedicated to being natural giving out information, so I think it has made the process a little easier going from perm to natural.

    4. Wait what? You love being black but you think how the hair of your people naturally looks is absolutely inferior to the Europeanized look? Right right…

      1. Yes. I love being black, unfortunately, people such as yourself, place blackness in outward appearance and place value on trivial things like how one wears their hair or what color skin they have instead of how they FEEL, LIVE, AND EXPRESS their blackness. FOH with your side commentary unless you wanna add what an idiot you are. I can like how hair hangs with chemical enhancement just like men can use protein shakes to get better muscles. It has nothing to do with me being an excellent example of a black woman in my community or to my children.

        1. I don't care how anyone wears their hair or what their preference is. I take issue with the fact the fact that you think one of the biggest physical identifiers of being black is objectively worse looking than others. Yes, being black is in part based on outward appearance.

        2. I'm honestly half surprised you didn't come out saying black people are beautiful minus their big lips, brown skin, and wide noses.

        3. Ok so, its based on outward experience…am I being mistaken for not black, or biracial, or attempting to pass for or be less of a black person because I choose to relax my hair and like how it manages, looks and suits me better than natural styles? Emphatically and resoundingly no in all categories. Its a preference. Period. I don't like how natural black hair keeps (based on my experience TRYING it, mind you…) or looks. I don't hate black people. I don't relax my 3 year old daughter's hair, nor will I attempt to or suggest she gets one, I will leave her choice to her at an appropriate age. But because I prefer relaxed hair still doesn't suggest ANYTHING about the type of person I am, and certainly not that I hate myself or my people. I'm sorry. You're shooting propaganda.

        4. " people such as yourself, place blackness in outward appearance and place value on trivial things like how one wears their hair or what color skin they have instead of how they FEEL, LIVE, AND EXPRESS their blackness."

          And evidently, people like you place the idea of being "presentable" or looking "professional" in public on european beauty standards.

          Just sayin…

        5. @Malik

          They will only talk about african vs. european, to call you self-hating… When you do something they don't like

          When they do it is called choice, freedom…

    5. This just seemed like a fitting place for this quote…

      "Take the kinks out of your mind instead of your hair." — Marcus Garvey

    6. Lmao!! I'm natural and this cracked me up! You so wrong, but you were funny with it, so I can't even be mad.

      I will say, I am NOT a boho chic type girl. Just cause I don't have a perm doesn't mean I smell like incense, love Bob Marley and rock Jesus sandals every day.

      1. LOL! Right!!!!

        I smell like bath & body works black amethyst, lol. And I've never worn a head wrap…or a dashiki, lol.

        I def got the jokes though…very funny…def can't be mad, lol.

    7. "I detest this natural hair trend running around. I wish I could go around with a grip of Indian Remy and a trunk full of No Lye and get all these women back to looking presentable in public"

      Presentable in public? That sounds scary. You make it seem like natural hair wearers are walking around picking fleas out there ears and clubbing each other over the head. You do realize that 99% of US have this type of hair, right? If all black people took the relaxers out…we would all look UNPRESENTABLE!!!! Do you think God hated us or something? You must, if you feel we look UNPRESENTABLE….dang girl…you are mean!

      1. Slave masters also thought natural hair was unpresentable and women were made to wrap their hair…

        and we wonder where that sentiment comes from.

    8. "I detest this natural hair trend running around. I wish I could go around with a grip of Indian Remy and a trunk full of No Lye and get all these women back to looking presentable in public…..but I get that its a total preference thing. So I wont…."

      Wow… I… can't.

      Just because YOU don't like the way naturals look doesn't mean that a natural can't and doesn't look "presentable".

      I've seen plenty of people with straight hair that don't look "presentable" so being natual is not the culprit… it all has to do with the way that you style your hair and how you make whatever style you wear your hair in look best on YOU.

      I've been natural for 6 years and I ALWAYS get compliments on my hair… many more than when I had straight hair.

      People have such strong opinions about hair that isn't even on their own heads. I hate when people make statements about natural hair not looking "presentable". That is just completely untrue. Just say you don't prefer natural hair. I don't prefer straight hair… but I'm not going to assume that everybody that has straight hair hates their culture either….

      1. But if it doesn't look nice, or presentable, or attractive TO ME, why can't I say so? I can certainly say it nicely as to not offend the Boho-Coalition attacking my verbiage, but I guarantee you even if I had said it sweet as pie, most would still have found a way to undercut my "blackness" or suggest I am into a "European" standard of beauty (…even though at this point this "Euro-Standard" has been a staple in the black community for long enough that we could go ahead and call it something we originally emulated but later adopted and made our own…) So why should I mince words? Earlier, you added professionalism, something I didn't even touch on, to your reply to me. Regardless of what I SAID, it wasn't received well because of the content, not the way the message was put. I clearly am not REALLY out here running around with rat tail combs and big tubs of Hawaiian Silky, but I can say I don't prefer the way natural hair looks and often find it less attractive than a straight style. I can say it doesn't look presentable to me, and I will continue to do so, regardless of what exactly you think or feel about it. Its my opinion.

        Seriously though, guys, one things for damn sure, I certainly won't stop getting relaxers anytime soon. Aside from apparently scalding in a sense of humor, the lye must lock in a sense of balance and objectivity that you natural supporters are sorely lacking.

        And since I'm sure yall will pick that previous tidbit apart as well, I mean this: step back off your soap box, look at what I say as opposed to what a natural supporter says…..neither party is RIGHT OR WRONG. Each is simply expressing an opinion, just as the author of this post did.

        1. I don't have a problem with your opinion. I have a problem with the ignorant way that you expressed your opinion. Like I said, you could have just said that you don't like naturals. What you said was: "I detest this natural hair trend running around. I wish I could go around with a grip of Indian Remy and a trunk full of No Lye and get all these women back to looking presentable in public". To me… that sounds like you're saying that you think you are somehow better than a person who chooses to wear their hair in its natural state and you have to help us "poor misinformed negros" that don't know any better. I understand that you were trying to be funny… I just think it was in poor taste. And… it wasn't funny.

          And yes… the way that you word things do make a difference. I completely get that natural hair isn't for everybody. As I said, I don't really dig straight hair all that much, however, I also don't feel the need to be offensive to someone who has made the decision to wear their hair straight. Like I said, I’ve seen plenty of people with straight hair that don’t look “presentable” so being natual is not the issue there.

          And no, you didn't use the word "professional", so I don't mean to put words in your mouth. but I have heard that complaint from many people who think like yourself before. However, I don't think that assumption is much of a stretch. If you don't think that natural hair is "presentable"… then you probably don't think its professional either, since part of appearing professional would include looking "presentable".

          There were just so many other ways you could have made your point without being offensive.

          And nobody said that either party was right or wrong. And yes…you're entitled to your opinion… and I'm entitled to say that I thought the way that you voiced your opinion was ignorant.

        2. "the lye must lock in a sense of balance and objectivity that you natural supporters are sorely lacking."


          Objective is the key word here. Your words were subjective NOT objective. Objective information is based on facts and NOT opinions. See I can be objective here and give you the facts and not make you feel small about not knowing the definition of the words you use while being subjective…There is a difference.

          No one is upset that you don't like natural hair. What I am upset about, personally, is that you tried to make a joke about natural hair not being presentable, in your opinion somehow not worthy to be seen/accepted/respected. You made it a point to say that you walk around handing out tracks and relaxers to those that do wear natural hair as if you know better for US how we should be presented. THAT is the issue I have with your words. I could care less about you not liking natural hair in general, but to go as far to say that you would change our choices is ridiculous.

          Objective information would be that relaxers are caustic and cause your brain and body harm.

          Subjective would be that people look 'better' with relaxers.

          Some women are sharing stories of relaxed and natural hair as personal stories and feelings. Not as attacks on others. It's one thing to inform and share, but that’s far from what you did and you know it.

        3. Natural hair may not have looked "presentable" on YOU because you didn't know what you were doing and that's why you don't prefer it. I myself am transitioning and during this time I have been doing my research on how to take care of my hair from day one. I have seen PLENTY of natural women who are rocking the sh!t out of their hair, looking absolutely gorgeous.

          I think what is more important is how a woman feels about herself whether she's rocking a weave, natural, or "the creamy crack" lol. If a woman looks good, she looks good regardless. Any man that would automatically rule a woman out because of a hairstyle (a nice well done hairstyle, not a dirty skittles looking mess) I WOULD QUESTION WHAT TEAM HE'S REALLY PLAYING FOR…my opinion….

          But any-who, you're entitled to your opinion and what-not BUT what's good for YOU isn't what's good for everyone and your close mindedness and immaturity are showing.

          I hope your natural haired "FRIENDS" don't see your little comments about how dudes ain't checking for them *side-eye*


    9. Self hate? Yep. I think this is exactly what your comment is full of. You hate hair how it grows out of your head. And if it wouldnt be for the lovely relaxer you would be walking around looking fukced up like the women you talk about.

      I really wonder how women like you would survive without weave and and relaxers? Thank god for those Indian women and the rest or there would be a crisis going on.

      Comments likes these remind me why it is not just hair. If it was then why not wear it in its natural state? People like to disguise their self hate as 'choices' but nothing exist in a vacuum.

      1. hahaha I would survive just fine, as I did for the 4-5 years I talked about being natural. Just because it didn't work right away for me, I stuck with it. I tended to it,. Bought products for it and styled it. I gave it a try, enjoyed it for what it was and concluded that I like myself (and a good number of other women) when my hair is chemically straightened.

        But of course, I am dripping self hate. Yall need hugs and real world experience.

        1. "Yall need hugs and real world experience."


          girl… what does this statement have to do with ANYTHING??? What kind of real world experience are "we" lacking, my dear?

    10. @YoungestMILF

      Good Delivery, respectfully disagree…

      If you want to talk about PRESENTABLE when it comes to American Women…

      Get rid of the WEIGHT & THE ATTITUDE… (you can't get rid of your kid unless you are Casey)

      Nappy hair will not k.ill your swag…

      I believe most men are checking for a$$, tits & face first…

      I subscribe that y'all do these hairstyles for other women… Not to make yourself feel better…

    11. You're hilarious! I rock natural hair and in an ideal world I should really be offended. Unfortunately my sense of humor is much, much greater than my mildly wounded pride so I'll say thank you for the laughs! LOL

  22. "You can’t go into water, you can’t go in the rain,"

    BullSnickery and Lies remy hair and/or any prepackaged weave wearers tell…

    I wear weaves but here's the thing I GOT HAIR lots of it. My twitter profile picture is all me no "tracks on tracks on tracks" but my hair is in its natural state — no chemicals and its extremely soft so flatiron/hot rollers is a must everyday to hold a style which leads to breakage so I weave it up so I can play with it (style versatility) while it keeps growing..

    SBM can kick bricks!! *hmph* 🙂

    1. @GirlSixx is ChloeRayne516

      "but my hair is in its natural state — no chemicals and its extremely soft"

      Yo juices and berries game ain't that tight. lol

    2. Right. I was wondering what kinda weave he's been privy to. Even the cheapest of the cheap synthetic fibers can get wet for a few w/o wrecking havoc. My natural hair is waaaaaay more sensitive to the elements than anything else. If I have MY hair out and it rains, I'm not going outside. Period. Lol. Swimming? Fuggedaboutit. Chex? You betta have a fan on so I won't sweat out these roots! It is NOT a game.

  23. Weave or no weave it doesn't matter to me. Do I prefer natural? Yes. But I'm not a stickler for it like some guys. The issue I have is when women obsess over their permed or weaved hair. I do think women are in a catch 22. Men say they want a woman that's natural but then the same men will turn around and knock a woman for being natural. Its like its only cool for women to be natural if their hair is straight or thin and curly. I never understood the weight placed on hair. I don't care if she has a fade, caesar, afro, or dreads. I just don't put that much weight on it.

    1. You sound like my dad, he's not a fan of weave (but he just likes a beautiful women who keeps her hair done) so I can see why he's with my mom.

      I think when women wear their natural hair they have to feel confident even if it's not the curly soft kind. I see girls with natural hair pulling brothers all the time but I think it definitely comes with them feeling like they are the sexiest thing walking.

  24. "But to all of you who just let your hair do whatever the f* it wants and then yell at those who wear a perm or weave … kill yo’self … I prefer the horse killers."

    DEAD!! Too funny.

  25. Ok so Ive dated mostly Hispanic women my entire life (yea i know, i cant help it…lol). And one of the things I love to do is to run my finger through my shawty boo boo nu nu's hair. I can only imagine putting my fingers in there and running across a ghat damn track..cant do it

    1. Now if I had said this…

      but you ain't realize something my dude, your girl probably straightened her hair. Their hair is curly too, and tangles is worse than a track.

      1. Nah meng, the mami's got that straight straight all dey! An even if its curly its all good with me… I'm only speaking from experience..I can't say that I've dated Hispanic woman particularly because of hair but dammit it don't hurt..lol #cherryontop

  26. To quote the lovely Tash: "We’ve all witnessed the good, bad, and ugly of all 3 categories"

    Its all about the quality of the hairstyle (even though personally regardless of some cute girls i seen i dont like dreads on women)

  27. You crack me up. Can't we say "I hate bad weave"? All of the issues stated above come from a that of traumatic experiences with perhaps bad weave applications. You can get that same naseous feeling from hair that grows out of a girls head, if it is jacked up enough.

    I've always loved this topic. It gets such a rise of emotion out of chicks that wear weave. Being a weave wearer myself (and having a crapload of my own natural hair underneath) I understand the woes on both sides.

    And to the comment of not being able to run fingers through a girls hair that wears weave, don't fret. There are better things to run your fingers over :).

    Great Post!

  28. LMao #Team No Weave for you I see

    I've done it All natural until I was 14 then perm then weave (And trust It was the best hair out there and my hair dresser made sure a track was never out of place) and now I’m Growing it out going back to natural (the perm was killing my head) I have Braids now that I keep up and look very nice until I grow more of my hair out because I know me chopping it all off is a big NO NO


    Men Hate weaves because they think that women who wear it are bald headed/ has raggedy hair underneath.


    Men hate weave b/c too many women wear bad ones and can’t seem to realize it. In college I have seen some great weaves and some weaves that look like a raccoon died on shawties head. Great Human hair weave is expensive and putting it in is a cost too, most can’t afford to keep it up so they walk around looking like death. Imagine being a man and seeing the sexy girl in your office with the short hair cut one day then walking in the next and she has this stupid looking weave down to her ass. o_0. Also a lot of women don’t take good care of the hair under their weave, so when they do take it out their hair is in bad condition.


    All I have to say is the Lace front will lead to the down fall of the black community. If I see one more women walking around with those Jamaica Ave shag rug looking wigs on their head, I’m going to cry. It’s gotten so bad even Toni Braxtons wigs are starting to look trash and her sisters to (I watch the show I love Toni with short hair but those wigs her sisters wear are scary)


    As someone going natural I know it’s going to be a lot of work but I love my hair and I’m ready for it. Too many women think going natural means they don’t need to keep up their hair. Sorry but some of you naturals are out here need to really take care of your head; the hair looking like a dirty cotton ball. Just because you are natural doesn’t mean you shouldn’t comb (with a comb or fingers) Moisturize and do your hair. Just because natural A had the wash and go hair doesn’t mean the same will work for you.

    All in all LADIES DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY WIGS, PERMS, NATURAL, WEAVE. All the fellas want is for it to look Great on you. (This is all opinion so as always take it with a grain of salt)

    1. Weaves

      Men Hate weaves because they think that women who wear it are bald headed/ has raggedy hair underneath.

      I think alot of people not only men seem to think we are some hair follicle challenged females running around underneath our weaves — This and the fact I like to let my hair/scalp breathe a bit is the reason I take mine out for a month or 2.

      1. Its funny you guys brought this up. Men who don't like weaves probably don't like braids either. I remember I met a guy in college and had individual braids – his boys were like she's fine man but what if she bald. I am like seriously????? It bothered him too – so (being young) after I took my hair out I broke up with him because I have a ton of long damn hair. Then yesterday's post comes in to play LOL

    2. All I have to say is the Lace front will lead to the down fall of the black community. If I see one more women walking around with those Jamaica Ave shag rug looking wigs on their head, I’m going to cry. It’s gotten so bad even Toni Braxtons wigs are starting to look trash and her sisters to (I watch the show I love Toni with short hair but those wigs her sisters wear are scary)

      ^^^ ALL.OF.THIS. i HATE lace fronts and think they will single handedly cause Black America to implode.

    3. Smilez_920: "All I have to say is the Lace front will lead to the down fall of the black community. If I see one more women walking around with those Jamaica Ave shag rug looking wigs on their head, I’m going to cry. It’s gotten so bad even Toni Braxtons wigs are starting to look trash and her sisters to (I watch the show I love Toni with short hair but those wigs her sisters wear are scary)"


    4. OK, THEN…I have a question then: what do Black women, who suffer through hair-loss issues, do? Do we walk around with our bald spots shining for all the world to see? Having people asking us if we are sick or in treatment for something, or giving us strange looks?

      I wear lace wigs, not by choice but because if I didn't, I probably wouldn't leave my house…I don't have that much self confidence.

      Like I said in the previous posting "I hate weaves", please be mindful of who is wearing the wigs, or weaves…some of us don't have a choice…

  29. Glad to see that most brothers like natural hair! YAY!!!!! Anyhoo, on to my comment….

    I have worn weaves, but I sincerely prefer my own un-relaxed hair. I look better with my natural hair. Everyone should read Message to the Black Man–it explains how we got our kinks. Don’t you want to know WHY we are the only ones with this type of hair? We all have different types of kink, coils, and curls, but we ALL have them.

    I disagree with those that claim there is a catch 22 for women and hair. This catch 22 must be a self-fulfilled thing, because I have yet to have any issue with a brother regarding my hair whatever style I rock.

    The last 5 years have been very liberating to say the least. I see more fros and natural styles everyday and I love that we are coming back to our roots so to speak. People are no longer buying into the LIE that beauty = straight, long hair.

    Another's hair journey is not important to me. For me, as long as my man and me are happy, to heck with everyone else's opinion.

    All the images we have been bombarded with are straight subliminal brainwashing methods used to make us love other than what we are NATURALLY. Say what you want but this is true. We are the ONLY people that have this issue with our hair. Isn't this weird to any of you? Don't you all wonder why?

    1. I agree with your every words…except, unfortunately, Black women are not the only ones with the issue. It's a human phenomenon. We love what we don't have.

      This was highlighted just this afternoon. I saw my Mexican classmate/friend rocking her Brazilian curly mane. I've never seen it curly…maybe once on our medical missionary trip Peru…but she usually rocks it straight, and today it looked amazing! I love loose curls, myself.

      Anyway, she proceeded to tell me that she HATES it. It's too big! WHAT??? She has no idea what women do to get such hair: from Black, Asian and even Caucasians!! She's so deluded.

      So, yes, tis a human phenomenon…but I do agree that Black women are more vocal about it and more willing to to use their rent money to indulge their passion!

  30. I don't have any strong preference for any style really. But I don't really care about 'looking presentable' to other people either.

  31. Haven't commented in a while, but I had to say something cause this is hilarious.com.

    I'm getting a weave TODAY (in like 7 hours). So this is timely. Lol.

    I don't usually wear weaves, think my last one was two years ago when I was transitioning to my natural hair. I've been rocking my natural curls and the occassional press for the last two years and have seen a lot of hair growth. But, I feel like I've hit a length plateau.

    To give my hair a break, I'm having it braided up under a weave. I'm hoping it will last until at least mid-August. After that, I'm taking it out and prob won't wear one for another two years.

    My man hates the idea, which I took into some consideration. But we're long distance and I just saw him for the 4th, so he prob won't even see me before it's time to take it out.

    Anyway, weave is an OPTION. Wear it natural, straight or weaved up. Do YOU, boo!

    1. "My man hates the idea, which I took into some consideration. But we’re long distance and I just saw him for the 4th, so he prob won’t even see me before it’s time to take it out."

      ha! when I was in a LDR I used to look at it this way as well. or schedule my hair appts on the apart times, lol.

      but in my experiences getting a short hair cut is more traumatic to a man. I met a guy wearing a partial weave– decent length just used to make my hair fuller, no extra length really and he was BUTT hurt when I sent a bbm that I got a hair cut. lol

  32. This is gonna get ugly….

    I've worn all 3 and the natural is by far my favorite but I'm not going to knock my weave and perm wearing sistas. To each their own. Just don't worry about what's on my head and I won't worry about yours. Capache?

        1. actually it is Italian, capisci but the us spelling of the way it sounds is capiche. Capisci+ to understand…i

  33. I didn't get my first perm until I was 16, and I hadn't looked back until my friend went natural about a year ago. She puts so much effort into maintaining her afro, and I know I can't dedicate that much energy to my hair. But I so wish I could be natural just because I'd like to embrace my heritage.

    My other closest friend, however, is #teamweave. She doesn't wear it all the time, but I admit that sometimes I get a little jealous that she can buy hair & in a matter of hours, her hair is longer than the hair I've been growing for years. Granted, my hair is real and it's still long, but it seems like she's cheating.

    In any event, I figure I'll join #teamnatural when the time is right. But for right now, I appreciate the convenience I receive from the hair-crack. My natural fro was too long & too hard to maintain, and because I'm deathly afraid of hot combs, I predict I'll be #teamrelaxer for at least a few more years.

  34. I wasn't going to touch this but….anyway. I've been natural for over a year. I'm currently wearing a kinky weave. It's not that serious. I didn't go natural for any grandiose reason- I am just currently living somewhere where I absolutely could not find quality black hairstylists to relax my hair. Whatever style I wear, I refuse to run around looking unkempt. I like the option of being able to experience length without waiting years for it to happen – and why exactly should I be forced to wait if I can try it out now? I don't get why this has to be WWIII. I also don't understand why we gotta have different teams. You don't see white girls running around shouting #teamnaturalblonde etc. smh.

    1. First of all miss Cheeky shot out to them shoes(and LEGGZ) in ya pic up there..lol seconds wassa kinky weave? I thought all weaves were straight?

  35. swag is dead?

    either way i agree with you. i love all types of hair. doesn't matter what it is. locks, natural, permed, short, long. it doesn't matter to me as long as it looks good on you. what i don't like is weave. i'm sorry i just can't stand it. not saying i wouldn't date a woman if she wore a weave but i would prefer if she didn't.

    and if i first meet a woman and she has weave, i'm wondering what her real hair looks like. if i've never seen your real hair then that's a problem.

    down with weaves.

  36. I was natural throughout my 2 pregnancies but I relaxed my hair right before my 5 yr anniversary trip to Vegas. I love my hair relaxed because it's much easier to maintain. My natural hair did not look good because I didn't take care of it; I'm not a fan of extensive beauty regimens. I love my hair relaxed and so does my man so that's how imma keep it for now. He doesn't like waves either so I don't wear them. I'm also not a fan of spending hundreds of dollars on hair when I could be funding my Roth IRA.

    I think black people care too damn much about hair. I know there are some self-hatred issues that need to be addressed surrounding standards of beauty and whatnot but people tend to get really adamant about the topic. It's. Just. Hair. Why does how you style your hair have to be a political statement? If a woman relaxes or wears of weave, she hates herself? If a woman wears her hair natural, it's a statement of Black pride? Maybe, just maybe the woman just likes her hair a certain way. Maybe it really is that simple. Then again, black people refuse to let anything be simple.

  37. Funny post!

    I really don't care what other people do to THEIR hair.

    However, I have locs…been loc'd since late '04. I locked it for convenience only…I hate spending HOURS in a salon!!!! And, yes, I looked a hot mess for about two years, LOL! Well, to me, I did. I looked butch…and no amount of makeup or jewelry would fix it! But, I endured it for the end result and I couldn't be more pleased. I absolutely LOVE my hair and I'd never go back to perms again.

    I rock ponytails, mohawks, curls, crinkles, braids, twists…I have 3 shades of brown in my hair (so I'm not totally against chemicals, lol)…I love it! I get compliments everywhere I go…and every man I've dated has made it a MUST that I don't change it while we're together.

    In all other aspects, I'm an '80's baby/American/City woman…the only thing "back to my roots" about me is my hair, lol. I wear makeup (can't do 90 day lashes though…scared they'll take my already thin natural lashes out, lol), keep my nails done (no tips though…my nails with acrylic)…

    Anyway, to each, his own.

    But, since we're complaining, a few things that bother me are:

    – Anyone with color contacts (like…why?),

    – Men with super thick Bigen (it looks like a helmet…it really does)

    – Men with fake hair

    – Men with clear polish (its just not manly…at.all.)

    – Tatoos everywhere (that's gonna look real dumb when you get old)

    – Women who remove their eyebrows to draw them on (really? you know we know that's not hair, right?)

    – Men with raggedy feet (ewwwwww…not s.exy.at.all.)

      1. Every time I see Shamar Moore in Diary of a Mad Black Women, I laugh, LOL…it looks soooo dumb!

        I'll also add:

        – Men with permed hair (I don't care if its easier to braid like that…stop it!)

    1. Women who remove their eyebrows to draw them on (really? you know we know that’s not hair, right?)

      Yes this is so backwards to me … And then they have the nerve to draw them back on crocked , eyebrows looking like two Nike check symbols

    2. Men with fake hair


      What? Where is this happening? And where are they putting this fake hair, on their chest/face/mustache… what? I've never seen this.

        1. ohhhhhhh.

          I thought it was a joke when someone said "Lace Front Mustache"

          *lmao* I had no clue.

      1. Adding fake hair to cornrows…

        Trying to wear female styles (…dude had a tracked bob and still had sideburns and a mustache…OMG)

        Toupee or hairpieces to cover up bald spots… (just shave it all off like other men or something…accept it, it gone!)

        1. A mess is a mess…s.exuality does NOT give you the right to look crazy, LOL!

          It's MESSY!

  38. I like women when they look their best, whatever their personal best happens to be. I don't really mind any hair style as long as it looks good. That said, I've never been intimate with a woman who wore a weave so I'm not sure how it would effect some of the things I like to do when doing the do.

    1. Most,

      you might just not have known they were wearing a weave. Unless your numbers are SUPER low (which would surprise and delight me!), you may just have encountered some good weaves.

      1. Won't get into my #'s – will leave that to your imagination, but I will say, it's highly unlikely that I encountered a weave and didn't notice… I chronically run my fingers though the hair of women I find attractive, or interesting or friendly. I even do it to strangers. I would have noticed.

        1. "I chronically run my fingers though the hair of women I find attractive, or interesting or friendly. I even do it to strangers."

          You must be supa-dupa fine to get away with this, lol. Cause ain't no WAY a strange/interesting/friendly man is gonna run his fingers through my hair…I'd move or move your arm away and give you major eyebrow action that will tell you that's its best NOT to try that again. If we aren't real friends, in a rela, or in church ("hug your neighbor", "high five your neighbor", "run your fingers through your neighbors hair"), you don't get to invade my personal space to touch me at all. UNLESS, you're fine…as was pointed out yesterday, lol…

        2. LmaoOo @ cynical while giving her an e-hi-five

          Lmao @ Dr. J — why u gotta put his bizness on E-Front Street like that tho??!! But it makes sense now.

        3. Doesn't seem like you've been dating black women. Natural hair OR relaxed.

          As a black woman, we spend a LOT of money to get our hair done. We sleep with silk scarves to keep our hair in place. A black woman who has her hair relaxed, isn't about to let a man (random at that) run his hands through or even touch her hair.

          If she has natural hair, your hand will come back oiled up IF she even let you touch it. It's a question that she normally gets from various white peel who warn to "touch it".

          What I find interesting is the lack of consideration of the women with who may have experienced hair loss. Men want you to look good, but hates weaves or wigs. So what's the alternative? Relaxed hair with obvious bald spots OR natural hair with a bald spot at the crown?

  39. I ADORE/LOVE/NEED Black Women and what i love most about black women is their NATURAL beauty, so naturally i get irritated/frustrated/upset when i see tons and tons of black women doing their best to interrupt all that natural beauty. And when i say natural beauty i'm not talking about Afro's and dreds and ish, but i'm talking about whatever you came in the world with. I don't mind black women adapting what they have, but i do mind masking what you have.

    I'm not a fan of acrylic nails (actually i hate it), weave, foundation, colored contacts, fake eyelashes, WIGS (Loathe) … Basically all that the lord didn't naturally provide you.

    When i'm with my woman, I want to hold her face on my chest, rub my hand across her cheek, rub my hand through her hair, massage her scalp, pull her hair when appropriate, kiss her face, etc. and when I feel like i can't do any of that cuz either imma get a bronze makeup stain on my shirt (smh…Just sprayed stain remover on a shirt last night that has a beastly foundation stain), or I have to navigate through underlying braids, tape, Amtraks, what have you or i have random ish on my lips then i get ON SPECIAL (Sh*tty).

    Laziness is a cop out. You're a grown azz woman. Present yourself (YOURSELF) with pride and care. Take the time to up your hygiene game. It's extremely attractive and the confidence exuded is crazy.

    I appreciate all black women, but i pay homage to those who go the extra mile to maintain them.

    1. Praise Jesus that I don't need foundation…Lawd knows I don't feel like putting it on. I do wear concealer though (skin tone makeup under the eye)…but my man's shirt is always good, lol.

      Help me out with this part though…I've heard men say they don't like super long nails, press on nails, wild colors on nails ("white tips only please", lol)…but I've never come across a man who hates acrylic on his woman's nails until now.

      So please explain…why do you hate acrylic on women's nails?

      1. Acrylic gives women the opportunity to have super long nails or wild colors. You just made me google "Acrylic Nails" and check the images section just to make sure i'm not trippin. Do it and you'll see why i put acrylic nails.

        Another reason is that they damage your natural nail … I've seen nails after the acrylic has been off and it looks sooooooo bad and unkempt. The closest comparison is like bleaching your teeth. Yeah they may look whiter, but it severely damages your gums.

        1. Gotcha on the damage to the natural nail thing. I cannot deny that at all.

          For the record though, most professional "cubicle" women keep their nails short, as I do…and wild polish colors are for natural nails as well.

          But, as I said, the damage is a very real factor…although it can be masked, its a real issue.

          Thanks for responding!

      2. For clarity…

        I understand acrylic didn't come with the package but neither did bras, panties, boxers, eyeshadow, lol. I get how everything else you mentioned looks fake…or causes an inconvenience (makeup on your stuff, hair all over your place, can't run your fingers through her hair)…I get all that.

        But polish on a natural nail and polish on an natural nail with an acrylic overlay looks dag near the same…like you need to get them done again, lol. You're welcomed to your preference though, of course.

        1. Come on now … clothes are completely different.

          And if they are dag near the same, why don't ya just do the polish on a natural nail … Seems like it would save ya the inconvenience.

        2. LOL…the nail breaks and the polish chips easier without that acrylic protection.

          But, I feel you. I do…

      3. I once heard that many men actually hate a lot of fake ish women do. They just never say anything.

        I think that most women wear what they think other women will find cute, because if we really are paying attention to comments here, men are saying that all that extra stuff is unnecessary. Not saying they won't date, hit or wife a woman with the extra, just saying that may have been the case anyway without it.

        It's widely known that most women really have NO IDEA as to what men really deem attractive/sexy/cute. Some of the things my husband request, I know some women will bust out laughing if I wore out in public….but he's who I am pleasing not them.

        1. "men are saying that all that extra stuff is unnecessary"

          This!!!!!!!!!! I mean for real tho, you gonna walk outside with 3,000 bracelets on your arm sounding like a Cardigan Welsh Corgi with 2 dog tags.

          Or 30 earrings in yo ear and Not wearing earrings for 2 seconds doesn't make you a man.

          A request for my gf and future wife, cook butt azz naked in some 5in heels … Now that's sexy!

        2. Now, I'm not gonna lie and say I don't care what other people think about my appearance…cause I do. Generally, I want to be seen as well put together…that's the perception I want folks to have of me. HOWEVER, I add whatever enhancements (clothes, jewelry, etc.) I believe look nice on me…not the stuff other people think will look nice on me…simply because I'm paying for it, lol. My money…my choice…my pleasure.

          But, in general, I get your overall point…and, based on the conversations I've had with men and their comments today, I agree.

          And, LOL @Top5DOA…talkin bout women and their jewelry soundtracks, LOL…smh. And cooking naked just seems unsanitary to me, lol…you can't be naked near my uncooked food, man. No sir, lol…smh…

  40. Lol! I am a fan of looking decent. I'm a weave wearer when I feel like it. Imma. Wig wearer when I feel like it. It is a MYTH that you can't get into water or get caught in the rain! Lol weave wearers aren't Moguli (is that how to spell the little gremlin's name?). I do not, however like messy hair. I can appreciate anwoman who rocks the natural fro… Even the Lela James huge fro- BUT unfortunately that/those styles aren't for everyone! Lol just because you are natural doesn't mean u look cute! Lol. I'm a fan of a good perm. For me, it makes my hair life easier. But if you gonna perm don't burn all ya hair out trying to get Kizzy's hair Ming Lee straight!! Lol I'm back to rocking my hair short… Different reasons- mainly because my little sister was recently diagnosed with alopecia so if she can't have hair like she wants, I decided to go short with her… If she has to shave it off… I'll do it with her and wouldn't care what people thought! And for people like my sister who may have to wear a weave/wig for life- she'll surely be swept up in the whole "I hate weave wearers" wave of banning… It'll be his fault if he/they allow the physical accessory of weave/wig make him/them miss out on the PERSON attached! Weave wearers- rock on! Wig wearers- rock on! -natural rock on! Perms- rock on!

  41. When I initially read that post, I had my hair au naturel. My first time wearing a weave was for Prom, and some years after that, it became my main go-to style. I dabbled in the wig business for a little bit, and I was inspired to hack off my permed hair by my hatred of patting my hair only to feel my braids underneath. Here's the thing, though. As much as I loved my natural hair out, its make-up prevents it from developing into the awesome fro that I would love to rock. I can only have a toddler fro, and it starts looking mildly unpresentable after a certain length. Because of the thinness of my hair, it's not the greatest look (to me) when I leave it out & permed. Also, I actually look years older when I sport my natural hair, and I'm not the only one who knows that curly hair (the kind I can't make happen with my own) suits my face the best. What's a sista to do? The guy in my life at the time was ecstatic when I went natural, but he always tolerates what I have on because it's about me and not the hair.

    Mind you, while I received positive comments from women who wished they could rock out a mini fro like mine and some guys who were happy that yet another black woman was "fighting the power" (I was quick to remind them that my reasons were solely personal and had nothing to do with any form of rebellion), I eventually received questions about when I was going to do "something" (i.e weave, perm) with my hair and comments about how I'd better do so quickly so that I can find a man. Sure enough, the attention I received increased 3-fold as soon as I got back on team weave, although yet again, my decision had to do with the personal annoyance that I was experiencing with my uncooperative hair. I make this last point to say that, for as many guys who have a profound hatred for weaves & refuse to deal with women who wear them, there are three more who seem to pay more attention when a woman is wearing one. Call it self-hatred if you will, it remains the reality of the situation. I tend to end up with men who may have their preferences, but who've never really made a fuss about my hair. I think I'm more of a hair freak than they are, actually. I tend to sneak at least a second look at men with dreads & the like. Mmmm.

      1. Word. I had a thing for my ex before he got dreads, but I couldn't stop myself from running my hands through them once they took off. And as for the other natural hair-loving one, I absolutely loved when he would pik out his fro and have this massive ball of hair on his head. I also loved the intimacy of taking out his braids with him (sitting) between my legs. I'm always a little bummed when the hair disappears, but I'm with a man for his character and not his mane. Dreads stay winning, though, when it comes to getting my attention (at random).

        My mom always says that I'm hair-obsessed. I wish I could say it isn't true, but dishonesty isn't my thing. lol.

  42. i mean…

    it's just hair.

    i'm natural, have been since 2006, but i've been permed before. i've worn weaves. i have a whole collection of wigs, half-wigs, weaves, etc. when i want to switch it up, i do. i'm not going to dye or perm my hair so when i feel like wearing it straight without flatironing, or i want light brown hair for the day and don't feel like using that fake spray stuff… i will toss a half-wig on. i have a problem with sewing stuff in my hair, so i don't really get weaves that i can't take out/off at night, but i just don't think it's that big of a deal to be up in arms with either way.

    the only time i usually stick to one style of hair (usu wash n go fro or some other natural style) is when i'm un-single, and that's bc menfolk like the fro for the most part. so … yeah.

    i don't feel the need to make personal attacks on anyone because of hair. it's kind of ridiculous.

  43. I say to each there own. I personally wear my real hair relaxed most of the time…unless its winter time and most black woman know the winter season is dangerous and brutal to the black women hair. Whatever looks good on a person, they should rock it…as long as they dont look like they are wearing their wig or weave like its a hat….its all good with me.

  44. Personally I feel where ur coming from. As a professional in the Cosmetology field, I'd like to point out that hair is merely and adornment/appendage of your skin and scalp! Treating it well, whether its grown out of your scalp or sewn/surgically installed, is what essentially matters. I see a lot of people who dawn weaves and don't even understand that you have to take care of it like ur own hair. On a scientific basis" most" weave hair is cleaner then hair grown out of your scalp because it can be chemically cleansed and Disinfected at tempatures that hair on your scalp cannot! Therefore the cleanlinss issue shouldn't pose that much of a threat. However for my weave wearers whom don't take care in inspecting the hair that they purchase ,may end up finding out that the hair that they have purchased could be old/rotten. As hair that is removed from your scalp no longer recieves the norishment that your body supplies to it. None the less, one mans opinion is anothers guilty pleasure. Its a preference simple as that. Now the whole Lie thing is a different story. Cause Bigen has been making brothers fades and goatee's tight as far back as I can remember. And there is a process to "creating waves" for some men so those fresh caeser's can look tight so, a lie is a lie. Good Hair is exactly what YOU make of it. Great Post though! And if you still hitting those chicks that your weary of their lace fronts coming off tell them they can reach me on twitter @fuzzydino I can help them out with that Removal/Installation. I "Speacialize" in the proper managment of your Hair, skin/scalp! Be it Natural,Relaxed,Permed,Lightened/Colored,Bald or Weaved!

  45. If you don't like weaves then you must not like makeup either. For a good amount of women they both enhance our natural beauty, and if you can't tell if she has on makeup up wears a weave…who cares? That's the whole point right? Now I'm not saying you need either to "look better" just saying in most cases it acts as an enhancement…..and I have no problem with that.

  46. SBM has a right to his opinion, as does EVERYONE.

    Opinions are like assholes, but that doesn't mean you have to act like one.

    I wear weaves regularly, but I also relax my hair 3-4 times a year, but even still, my hair maintains its natural curl pattern….so I have no particular devotion to either "team".

    I do NOT support women wearing their hair in a style that is UNFLATTERING to them. I want ALL my beautiful Black sisters to be FLY when they walk out the door, regardless of whether you're rocking a twist-out, some Indian Remy, or you're on that creamy crack. I'ma side-eye you if your hair looks bad. My man loves to pull my hair regardless of how its styled. He loves me for who I am and my decision to change my hair doesn't affect him at all.

    (Unless I planned to cut it all off, but we have DISCUSSED that, lol!)

    At the end of the day, don't you just want your woman to look good? That's how my man feels. And that's what matters to ME!

  47. Hello everyone. I personally have had extensions and have worn my hair. I have worn my hair way more than extensions or braids, and have had everything from a relaxer, to a texturizer, a keraton and worn natural hair.


    Nine times out of ten black women where extensions for EASIER MAINTENCE. Basically, maintaining african american hair is difficult. And especially for active who have to find easier alternatives (hair extensions) which allow you to style hair quickly.

    ALSO people do not realize the VERY products and treatments us african american women use for our hair (relaxers, texturizers, keraton treatments, flat irons, hot combs) BASICALLY BREAK OUR HAIR AND MAKE IT WEAK. For some it has forced them to trim or cut their hair, or start all over again OR get extensions.

    AND LAST…the best way to maintain your hair is to wear it in its natural state. Then you would be able to simply wash and go. This hairstyle would only take some product to moisturize the curls. BUT if you are trying to 'go natural' the only way to indiscretly do that is to get extensions…this allows your new growth to grow without showing…Because if you just 'go natural' and you have a relaxer, that curly new growth will show and you'll basically look like a monkey

    BUT…I do think it looks tacky when black women where weaves that LOOK LIKE WEAVES! My extensions have always been modest, short and natural..Therefore MOST PEOPLE HAVE THOUGHT IT TO BE MY HAIR…even when I cut my hair short, and then put extensions on top (to grow hair back to its natural state) the people who had seen me the previous week (including my own sister) were fooled!

    IN CONCLUSION…Hair extensions are great alternatives for maintaining strong hair and eliminating style time. Be sure to choose a length color and style that compliments your face, skin tone and personality.

    -Tierra Marie Gray

  48. People should do whatever they want to do to make themselves feel comfortable with their looks. I mean, it is THEIR appearance. And whatever "look(s)" they are comfortable with, I may or may not think it flatters them. Oh well…

    I can't look at a person's hair and point out if they hate that they don't have time for certain styles/looks or that they hate their entire gene make-up.

    But let me be honest, and some of you may not like it b/c you'll feel I'm talking directly to you. I'm not… I'm talking about my experience. Everytime a woman informs me that what I see on their head isn't "theirs" in some aspect (wigs, weave, dyes, perms) I've been told me face does a -> (._.'). Now that's regardless of race. I know many of you talking about doing for the sake of "diversity." I'm calling BS. Ok. Then why does it look like people (women) as a large (and I mean large) majority strive for the same "look." And miss me with that its b/c many men are attracted to *insert some European feature.* Men (as a whole) are attracted to everything. Our collective desires cover the entire spectrum. However, I have noticed that the variations of "looks" that make women feel comfortable and "presentable" don't have THAT much coverage over all variations. Not saying their isn't people who exist with every possible "look" just that there's a huge discrepancy between the coverage of what men like and the coverage of "looks" women gravitate to.

    With that said, the women I notice in a crowd of look alikes has a 200% greater chance of me approaching them (while sober). Under the influence, it could be the fact that she look like she could shake that faster or something (even though she's sitting down and I can't she her face). Who knows…

    And yeah… if I ever had a daughter she is NOT getting a perm or weave (before she's ~16-18). We can share responsibilities but I hope my wife would know more about hair than me. So you know who's starting… I'll study the plays and be back-up.

    1. i like this comment.

      even though i have a stash of weave. lol. and when i say weave, i mean allllll different kinds. whenever i feel like having brown hair or short hair or anything other than my texture hair (and i have a lot of dang hair) i will toss it on.

      i will say the type of man that approaches me and even the type of people that talk to me in general vary GREATLY depending on if i'm wearing my hair straight or natural, and what hairstyle i have it in.

    1. Thank you! I was just about to say the same thing. Gotta get your French right, yo! Especially if it's in the title! 😉

  49. the fact that people still call weave "horse hair" is just woefully ignorant. I have nothing else to add–several comments have broke down how weave wearers can frolic in the rain, the ocean and everywhere else. I expressed my thoughts on the first post. I still have a weave stash and I'll wear it or not, when I feel like it. I'm currently enjoying a layered bob hair cut, and my hair is relaxed. I like to wear my hair straight and I don't like to use a lot of heat on it so that's how I wear it. its presentable, its healthy, and I LOVE IT. thats all that matters over here.

  50. Oh damn! So this ATL humidity is killing my natural hair (well no perm no weave but I do press it) I leave the house looking good and return looking a hot mess. So yesterday I put on clip on weave peices and I loved it! I was soo ready to go get a weave and then I read this and I rememeberd why I stopped weaving it up a year ago. I will say weave and perm is easier but my natural hair is healthier and grows faster (even though I keep cutting it). It was just so much easier to stay natural in Cali. So I guess team natural it is but really as long as your hair looks good I don't care!

    1. I'm from Cali too and live in ATL so I feel your pain – I have to switch up in the spring/summer and leave it natural in the fall/winter

  51. The guy I'm seeing hates natural hair on most women. We constantly have this argument where he says, "Black women can only wear natural hair if they have a 'good grain' of hair." WTF does that mean? #idiot. If he wasn't #winning in life, he'd definitely be losing me. I honestly don't think I can be with someone who equates nappy hair with birth defects. He believes getting perms "fixes" nappy hair the way glasses/contacts fixes vision….my argument is wth does he believe natural hair is a problem that needs fixing?! What's so un-beautiful about the way God made us?

    In any event, we're never going to agree on this. And I honestly believe he'd kick me far to the curb for weaved-up arm candy when I finally decide to nix the perm. I'll never understand how a man who's so smart can be so friggin dumb!

    1. “Black women can only wear natural hair if they have a ‘good grain’ of hair.”


      And this is coming from a black man I'm assuming who came out of a black women's womb.. *smh*

      You sure you ain't dating Wesley Snipes? *sideye* j/k but not really..


      1. LOL I feel like a hypocrite arguing with him about it because I'm chemically relaxed. But my fear isn't having nappy hair; it's the years it'll take the grow it back to the length I have now. I've cut my hair a few times before & the short look just doesn't work for me. And I only got a perm in the first place because I kept sweating out my presses playing basketball in high school.

        And his mom is black. Very light skinned (as he), but black. But some days I feel like he's the greatest man on this planet and then he says dumb ish like this. I wish I could "fix" him! Oh vey.

  52. " He believes getting perms “fixes” nappy hair the way glasses/contacts fixes vision…."

    Wow!!! I would not be able to with this guy.

    1. This is the crazy crap I am talking about. He sounds like the slave master. No wonder the little black girl in NY picked the white doll. SMH! I feel so sad for my people. I really do.

      What would happen if we woke up one day and all the other races begin to wear afros? Maybe then it would be cool or presentable again? damn shame….

  53. I don't care if a chick has a weave or not, WB. Warn a brother so I don't rip it out by accident.

    I've never dated a girl with a weave though, and yes, i'm sure… I haven't dated a girl who's hair wasn't natural since 2003. And by natural, I mean, naturally straight.

    1. It's cute how often you always seem to bring this issue up Dr. J. Yes, we get it that you only date non-black females. We got it 20,000 posts ago and all the other million and one times you've brought it up. Are you hoping that E-people care that much? Frankly, you're like a child at play, always trying to get some attention. People don't even bother to respond to you by replying anymore. They simply ignore you or just thumb you down. Keep bringing it up and very soon you won't even get the thumb downs. Then whatever would you do Mr. Attention-Seeker? **sigh**

      1. You wilding. This is an example of when a reader says some ish about a writer and he got to walk away instead of actually responding. By the way, black chicks can have straight hair too. They might be mixed or that's just naturally how their hair grows.

        And the only reason why I brought it up was to get this very reaction.

        Thank you. You really think I don't date Black women? That's crazy to me, but it's truly quite okay if you feel that way.

  54. I can't understand for the life of me why we're (Black women) offended because a guy doesn't like weaves, as though wearing a weave is something ONLY Black women do!! This is not the case. MOST celebrities, regardless of race, wear weaves to protect their hair from constant styling and heat damage, you just can't tell sometimes. Some non-Black women wear weaves to add length and to add volume to their otherwise lifeless hair.

    I don't particularly like weaves either, wearing them OR seeing them. Sometimes they look ridiculous. I wore one once because it was constantly being styled and I didn't want my own hair to get damaged. It was cute. Would I wear one again, probably not, unless it was absolutely necessary, like before. I don't like guys who wear ponytails (most women don't), but does that make me a bad person? No. Should all the Black men who have ponytails have to explain why they wear ponytails? Of course not. Now, if he would have said he hated NATURAL hair, those would have been fighting words lol

  55. Its not all that complicated, weaves, wigs etc, are like clothes, piercings, hair color, you wear it to switch up the looks, like fashion and the myriads of designs you delve into to step outside the box and do someting that is temporarily transformative, lets you play a little. For centuries men and women of every class, creed and ethnicity have been wearing them why sweat over it now?

    I personally don't wear weaves etc, but I don't hate on it either. There are more important things in life to lose oneself over (like the content of somone's character/malicious intent)-lets not put so much energy into wigs and weaves.


  56. Its not all that complicated, weaves, wigs etc, are like clothes, piercings, hair color, you wear it to switch up the looks, like fashion and the myriads of designs you delve into to step outside the box and do someting that is temporarily transformative, lets you play a little. For centuries men and women of every class, creed and ethnicity have been wearing them why sweat over it now?

    I personally don't wear weaves etc, but I don't hate on it either. There are more important things in life to lose oneself over (like the content of somone's character/malicious intent)-lets not put so much energy into wigs and weaves.



  57. Black women I say wear YOUR hair whichever way makes you feel beautiful and confident. I wear weaves because they are versitile and eaiser to manage. I cant afford to visit my hairdresser every week. However, some women can and more power to them. I think the misconcrption is that women wear weaves because they lack confidence or have no hair. I dont think men seem to realize that a weave isremovable and we still spend money to take care of our natural hair underneath. I would never change what makes me feel good for a man's sake. Black women are beautiful with weaves, fros, locks, permed, and bald as long as you keep it up. If you dont like weaves, fine. But why knock the sista who has one. Im from LA where EVERYONE wears weaves, and not just black girls. Its style, like fashion. And trust me, if you run your hands through many of these "natural girls" heads you may find they have a few hair pieces as well. Men its 2011, get over it.

  58. while i will admit i like women w/ longer hair look..i personally have learned not to say anything about women's hairstyles…whatever they wanna wear…good luck to 'em…

    except baldies/cesars. sorry, can't go for that, no noooo….

  59. Unless you style your hair daily, you can't exercise with natural hair. I don't care if it's curly or pressed straight, natural hair can't stand sweat or humidity. Even perms won't last long if you sweat 4-5 times per week. Weaves are just easier to manage, especially if you're active.

    Women don't listen to him. Men say one thing and then choose another.

    Most men say they like natural hair, but when was the last time you saw any natural haired woman on the arm of any celebrity, athlete, actress, politician, etc. People can say they like India Arie, but I haven't seen an India Arie look-alike with anyone.

    Polls show that men say they like women with less makeup. So they did a study comparing women with varying amounts of makeup. Consistently, the men preferred the women with MORE makeup.

    Men say what they ideally want, but really they don't want to be aware of your beauty secrets. They want you to have long hair, but they don't want to know it's a weave. They want you to look nice, but don't want to know you have makeup on. They want you to have big breasts, but they don't want to know you have implants.

  60. I am a PROUD perm having woman. I am also proud to say that I have NEVER in my life worn a weave. No real reason behind that other than, it's NOT my hair.

    I have no issues with women who wear weave it's just not my thing. I also have no issues with women who wear their hair natural. I will say though that I'm getting pretty tired of the "what's natural and what's not" debate. I'm also getting tired of seeing every woman go chemical-less in their hair. I don't care what your reason(s) behind it was, it's not for everybody.

    I call my hair natural b/c EVERY strand on it (even the grey ones) is MINE and not store bought. I will not debate that with anyone either.

    1. I'm a proud perm having woman too. I'm in total agreement with your second paragraph-it's not for everyone! I'm a "natural" too-it's all MY hair. People have their own reasons for not getting a relaxer but what about women who get relaxers and still maintain a healthy head of hair? My sister's hair is relaxer free, I get my regular 6-8 week relaxer. My hair stays growing…hers..not so much.

  61. *Sighs*……Is it really this serious!?!?! I say wear what fits and looks good on you, rather it be weaves, locks, cornrows, Bangs, Fades or a perm.. ITS YOUR DAMN HEAD!!!!!!!!!. And if a man let's a perfectly good women go because she wears a weave or has a nap somewhere on her head, I suggest you stop and re-evaluate your superficial self, if that doesn't work find a cliff *coughs* and jump…Just my thoughts(*_*)/

  62. So uhm yeah …little late to the post… as I have gone natural because I h8 the creamy crack. It doesn't straighten my hair so for me it is a waste of time! I am done with it. I have done the braids (Janet Jackson era of Poetic Justice) but the weave sewn and glued in..nope can't do it.

    Folk got their preferences and of course people are entitled to their opinion so if you have to wear a weave and most of us don't…..—–> I'm just sayin'…

    WHAT KILLS ME IS this so called time and effort to do your own hair as if weave doesn't need doing! Are you f'n kidding me?! Just because you put other hair in your head does not excuse you from combing it! Not only you are not combing your own hair but you don't want to comb the weave either?! GTFOH it is ridiculous! I have seen some mean weaves and I don't mean *mean as in good* I mean it as in horrible. Weaves are bad for your hair because it pulls on your hair and it snatches your hair out… ie. Naomi Campbell has beady b's along her hair line because of all the weaves she wears! Doctors have even cosigned that you are doing your own hair a disservice by wearing weaves! I don't want a receding hair line either… that is not sexy got your forehead looking like an eight head unacceptable!

    Just like I cannot accept a comb over I cannot accept a bad weave!

    A weave has its place, properly done and maintained but lets not get it twisted, you still have to do your hair/weave!!!

  63. I don't think SBMs hate weaves, I think they hate BAD weaves. Bad, un-maintained weaves are unacceptable. I understand that perhaps a man can't fathom a woman being real if any part of her is fake but in some rare cases, you have to ask yourself why she wears a weave.

    Everyone woman is not fortunate enough to have a head full of hair. There are some women that have hair of a new born chickadee. How about alopecia? Sometimes its hereditary. That's all she's ever had. That's all she'll ever have. Should she suffer through the ridicule of having no hair? Or should she shoot for looking her best and get a weave.

    PS. Yes, I made an attempt to lay the guilt on nice and thick.

  64. LOL. I wear weaves and I'm all natural. My hair isn't even short either, it touches my armpit. I'm not offended at all though, I actually don't like wearing the weave myself, it's just convenient sometimes–if that makes any sense.

    I'll stop one of these days, until then, this was funny.


  65. The naturalistas often use the chemical burn/damage to relaxed hair horror stories to prove their belief that natural is better. I am a great fan of "texlaxing–that is relaxing the natural curl in your hair just a little bit for a shorter period of time than a regular relaxer would take. You can have relaxed, superbly healthy long hair IF you take meticulous care of it. My hair is NOT straight, but it is thick and almost waist length. It is NEVER necessary to suffer a burned scalp and damage when relaxing the hair. Many sistas have come to expect the burns and damage. This is sad, because in the hands of a great stylist , todays relaxers are quite safe. My texlaxed hair is longer than it's ever been in my life-near waist length, because I have educated myself about how to care for it. I've never worn weave, but if I can grow my relaxed hair to this length, I'd say that almost ANY sista can. Let's lose the weaves and learn to nurture our own hair, whatever the texture!

  66. I am EXTRA EXTRA LATE reading this but i wanted to voice my opinion anyway (jus cuz)…..

    wellll… i think WEAVE RULES lol….

    .my hair its natural *un-permed* and its down the middle of my back but i STILL wear weave

    …… not because of dependency or anything crazy like that i jus like it…. i mean i can get blonde brown red burgundy dark black off black gray purple pink yellow turquoise or WHATEVER color and my hair is still perfectly safe and long and great.. plus my beauty supply got buy one get one half off shooooootttt….. im in there like swim wear lol =D

    n if you are pretty youre pretty and if you are ugly you are ugly…..your hair can be long and flowing n u be a horrible person and vice versa but those fros are horrble im sorry.. As a matter of fact… i cant STAND THAT FRO SHIT EWWWW No guy i have ever dated will go near that hard dry stuff … u look like ur walking around with a big brillo pad stuck to your head and decided to put a bow in it.. EWWWWWWWWW….. and guys u cant run your fingers through a fro so whats the difference it looks horrible to me……. EEWWWWWWWW!….Do you really feel like your are getting in touch with your black roots because you have a fro?? lol ok whatever floats ur boat sister….smh any woman that doesnt wear a weave strictly because she does not want to wear one fine i accept that but those that try to say other girls are trying to be "European" or "Caucaisian " because they want straight hair are ignorant and they need to sit their nappy shag rug head behinds DOWN…..

    but all in all im sayin.. guys leave us weave wearers alone lol.. we just want to have fun… fro wearers…. get a comb and brush something n tame that NAPPY SHIT yep… i said it…. and girls with perms….dont use the heavy ones us the light ones so u wont damage your hair and lets all live in holy matrimony =D

    P.S why dont you men stop getting hair cuts …. grow it out and fro it up and dread it up with your natural sisters..BE NATURAL… if god wanted up us to be able to remove and change our hair " he would have added a release" right….???. . no more bald cuts no more waves and definitely no more of that silky wave gell thats makes your hair wave up. no more do rags.. no more fades no more edge ups jus strictly fros and dreads and flourish with natural gals … Frolic in the flowers with your natural sisters and get in touch with your black roots…………..

    See how long that lasts lol…

  67. I'm against weaves!! They are so awful looking on girls and you can see the damage it does to a girls hairline. Most of the girls I know where them at work, and you can see how bad they look. It seems like ALL black women wear them. It turns me off to black women because if you are going to wear a crappy weave and not take care of it, then you may as well pay for a $10 haircut. Also, why are you putting that stuff in your child's hair? So by 15 she won't have a hairline either? What are we teaching little girls by doing that to them? I don't care if you have long flowing hair I just want your natural hair. If women took care of their natural hair they wouldn't need or want weaves. Other races of men might not care because they don't see it as often as a black man would.Half the time they are just happy enough to have a black woman in the first place. If you are paying 300 bucks for your tracks to still be showing, you need to get your money back. I have never seen a GOOD WEAVE before. They are done so bad.


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