Home Featured Ugly Girl Swag (Guest Post by NC-17)

Ugly Girl Swag (Guest Post by NC-17)


Every man wants the prettiest girl in the room, no one wants the “she’s okay” chick and we damn sure don’t want the ugly chick. The thing about the okay chick is that she’s subjective; some guys may think she’s at the higher end of the Smash spectrum, while more picky guys may put her at borderline unattractive. Most woman fall into the “She’s Okay” category because different strokes are for different folks. Then we have the pretty girls. If a girl is bad, there is no debate. Sure you may argue who is badder out of her and another chick, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s a universal neck turner. The same rule applies for the ugly chicks. You can’t look at Busted Brandi and say, she’s kind of cute with that eyeshadow on, you know and I know, that girl is WOOF.

But Busted Brandi has just as much of a shot as Pretty Girl Rock. Why do men cheat on supermodels with mudducks? Ugly Girl Swag. I coined the term Ugly Girl Swag but I didn’t go into depth. In college there were several big girls, and I’m talking J Hudson before the personal trainer big, who were the go to girls after the parties wrapped up and you couldn’t bag the girl you wanted. The good thing big girls have going for them is that most of the time they’re cute in the face. The Ugly girl has no redeeming value. You can’t squint and say she looks a little like Tatiyana Ali, no fam, she looks like Muhammed Ali after the Frasier fight. But the prettiest dudes will get caught up with them. You see some Chris Brown looking cat, ladies love him, he could probably bag shorty and her friend at the same time. Then you look behind him, there’s a chick who should trade her Forever 21 for a WNBA jersey because she’s rough! Pretty boy is walking in front of her while she yells at him, and the other girls are like “I hope that’s his sister”. Because in their mind, ugly dude with pretty girl means ugly dude has money. Ugly girl with pretty guy means—what was he thinking.

The truth of the matter is fellas get caught up. Sex is always on a man’s mind, and when you can’t bang an Ashanti you have to dig for that Lil’ Moe. A girl who’s less attractive than the average female, knows it. This thing about “I don’t know why ugly girls think they’re cute” isn’t physical, it’s mental. An ugly chick has been ugly her entire life, it’s not an acne breakout—SHE WAS BORN UGLY. So she trains like a Ninja, preparing herself in the art of suck-jit-su, hand-job-fu, and Ride-it-shido. An Ugly girl is a sexual dynamo, but how will she practice those bedroom skills if a guy can’t get around her misshapen nose? The Art Of Conversation. I’ve been at clubs and had excellent conversations with girls who I would never go for. Sometimes it’s aggression. Pretty girls sit on the wall and are shy, ugly girls are in the middle of the floor busting it open for a goon. I was at a club and this one girl was so slick, she pulled my hand like a guy would a girl, lead me to the dance floor, worked me for a song, pushed up beside me, so her face wasn’t directly in front of mine, and started to whisper loudly in my ear all kinds of things. She was funny and witty. She did what guys do to girls, and it might have worked if I was on the hunt. This ugly chick, banging body, pretty voice, and knew how to grind on the dance floor, would be the toast of the town if she was a little prettier. But here she was in the club having to work for penis.

See Also:  5 Ridiculous Things Women Expect from Men

I guarantee that girl found her a boo that night. And once she got him, she either got her rocks off and moved on to the next dude in the next club the next week, or handcuffed him. This brings me to the final point. Ugly Girls know how to keep a man. I know dudes who are married to ugly chicks, they know she’s not pretty, but she helps out on the bills, listens to him instead of complains, and puts him in his place when he needs it. I love ugly chicks because they had it harder in life and are willing to work harder at things like relationships and applying makeup. I’m not saying seek out the 3’s and 4’s of the world, but don’t be afraid to give them a shot, in the words of Wanda she may just “Rock Your World”.


  1. This post literally had me laughing out loud…for several minutes! This is my laugh for the entire week…and thank you.

    I don't have much to add to this conversation but I will lurk around tomorrow to see what the fellas have to say about this…

    Congrats on the win….you guys totally deserve it!

  2. This pretty much sums it all. Its rare to find a down-to-earth pretty girl:I'm talking Model-type girls, and you know what? They shouldn't really get a bad rap for it. They always got dudes trying to ride their jock and errthang (guilty of that sometimes).But then… Girls with 'skills' irrespective of beauty>>>Girls with pretty faces.

    1. I learned this weekend that women who have pretty faces > banging bodies, or more likely to secure a commitment from a male than a girl who has the opposite…

      I prefer nice bodies with a ugly duckling face rather than the opposite…

      But I have to date alittle more to get a better handle on my preferences…

  3. I wld have bet money at the start that I wld have an insightful response to this, but after the trains like a ninja comment I was in tears for the rest of the post!! Suck-jit-su?! Rotfl!!! I will return to view other comments and also try to respond seriously because you do make a valid and interesting point. *wanders off shaking my head and giggling at suck-jit-su*

  4. I am glad we are on the topic of beauty today, I can easily side this in here (pause), right quick



    There is ugly, AND then THERE IS UGLY… I don't mind getting with a little ugly…

    End PreScript

    Sigh, LOL, Bananas… I was pumped once the saw who was lead role-ing today…

    These quotes did it for me

    So she trains like a Ninja, preparing herself in the art of suck-jit-su, hand-job-fu, and Ride-it-shido.

    The Ugly girl has no redeeming value. You can’t squint and say she looks a little like Tatiyana Ali, no fam, she looks like Muhammed Ali after the Frasier fight.

    End quote

    Ugly Girls know how to keep a man. I know dudes who are married to ugly chicks, they know she’s not pretty, but she helps out on the bills, listens to him instead of complains, and puts him in his place when he needs it. I love ugly chicks because they had it harder in life and are willing to work harder at things like relationships and applying makeup.

    What this tells me is that some pretty girls need to adopt an ugly girl attitude (in their dating prime, thank you…) hard thing to do when everybody is a "yes-(wo)man" in your immediate circle… so hopefully they read male-driven dating blogs…

    Ugly girls in my life are good for being bottom b!tches (I am still vacillating between chasing ugly fat white girls, or just regular white girls… But either way I need to be well taken care of), until I build myself up to play in the big leagues…

    The biggest takeaway I got from this post, was that the ugly women who succeed in life do three things…

    1. acknowledge their ugliness/station in life

    2. Maybe b!tch about a little bit

    3. Work like h3ll to make life more enjoyable for them & the men they date…

    I was looking forward to Slarack J starting off my week with a great topic to ponder about…

    But NC-17 swag, will sure more than make up for it…

    Enjoy your week guys

  5. Yes, when you're not desired you must gain skills to be accepted by society (whatever that may be) because human beings are social creatures and blah blah blah. So they have to develop a personality first and the rest is blah blah blah.

    I wouldn't call anyone I've been with 'ugly' but I've been with some average and below average women to varying extents and I often stand beside the fact that 'pretty people' do indeed have decent-great personalities the same as everyone else, the 'ugly' ones were certainly the easiest to be around.

  6. So…. Question: say you have an ugly girl with all the admirable traits and qualities that our writer so eloquently laid out above, if you pit her against a pretty chick who is a poor conversationalist, little to no marketable skills, and was average in bed (at best), which one would you sleep with and which one would wife up? Just curious 🙂

    1. Mmmmm mmmm mmmm … Definitely would sleep with the ugly girl and wife pretty chick … See the thing about this scenario is that you can't change ugly … She was born ugly, she'll die ugly … Makeup ultimately won't improve her situation, it may offer temporarily, slight improvements, but anybody with 20/20 or a good pair of glasses or less than 7 month old contacts can see through the overzealous application of makeup.

      On the other hand, you can work on the chick who is poor in all things but her face. I'd have her in the classroom reviewing tape of Pinky, Italia Blue, Strokahontas, etc… i'd have her attend small group seminars on how to improve interpersonal skills, basically i'd completely reformat her dome like a Windows XP operating system. Though i'm sure the journey would be arduous, i would at least have the pleasure of being able to look at her directly in the face anytime before 9p without needing a flask in my pocket.

      1. I gotta co-sign GirlSixx on your 2nd paragraph, yo…

        I think I laughed at that like I did today's post! LOL…


      2. @Top5DOA

        Is definitely onto something…

        If you want a good girl these days, you need to go pretty with a good template… And build her up…

    2. this is a tough decision. honestly i wouldn't just sleep with the pretty chick just to be sleeping with her. and on the other hand i'd definitely sleep with the ugly chick. now as to who i would wife up that would be a toss up. i mean how ugly are we talking?

    3. Hmmm… Good question.

      Who I would "wife-up" would be based on a few more factors. One main factor would be how does the older women in their family look. Some women are gorgeous in their 20s, but a no-no after 30. The question is does her looks scale (with age). A young face is only a young face for so long. Will her body end up like the blob at 45? Some people look "better" with age. Look at the family.

      Also it's about her mental state really… Some people get out their minds as they get older. seriously… Not a "crazy haha" either… More like a "that's messed up" type of crazy.

      1. That's too much analysis there bro … go with what u got … Analyzing the anti derivative of her grandmother in a substitution based proof while looking for the algorithm that projects one future mind state might be a lil too live for this basic azz scenario.

        1. I beg to differ. Lady asked about wifing some one. D*mn skippy I'm looking at how a woman would possibly look older. Why? b/c it's a factor in overall attractiveness no? Isn't that what we're talking about? The factors to offset/complement a person's looks?

          The mental state stuff… not so much, I agree. Was just a bonus.

        2. @Top5DOA

          You were riding hard up until this point…

          There is no good reason for men to get married in 2011, so if a man wants to still take that leap…

          I recommend that he be pickier that a mofo…

          Any little reason he can disqualify her from matrimony will suffice…

    4. I wouldn't date a woman who didn't offer anything beyond a pretty face, and I won't wife an ugly chick. (I am shallow). My solution is to sleep with both and wife up neither. After you reach the age of 25 I don’t' really see the point of just wifing someone up for the heck of it. I'm too old to just have a GF to say I have one .If I don't see the possibility of this woman someday taking my last name it’s not worth it. Sleep with them both for as long as that arrangement works then move on.

      1. Minus your last sentence, I'm with all of this comment!!!!

        "I am shallow."

        Accepting this about yourself up front is fabulous! I say the same thing about myself…with no shame. Doesn't mean I only take home 10's in the looks department, but you best believe a busted negro won't make it to Momma's house either, lol! Or, a man who can't dress…no earning potential…let me stop now cause there's a long list, lol…

        1. I'm sure -___- … Lol … its coo we all have a Perfect list, a this will do list and a No No list.

  7. i don't know whether to laugh or to cry.. but sheeeiiiiitttt i got my own problems… at least me and my people are not at the bottle of the totem pole anymore

    fat girl with pretty face swag

    1. Yes. and lets not forget some men desire big girls…. or simply just pretty girls–thin or big or otherwise.

      This was a great post.

  8. You may need to add stand up comedian to your list of talents! This was hilarious and I appreciate how I could visualize EVERYTHING you described! Nice job! Can we find a sugar coated word for ugly? No one should be called ugly, should they?

        1. I always use the term cosmetically deficient. Then again, I think the person would rather just be called ugly.

    1. just put ugly in parenthesis as such: "ugly". I think that's good enough. There will be someone who thinks shes not "ugly"…it's all about perception and opinion.

  9. "Pretty girls sit on the wall and are shy"

    I think ultimately, it all comes down to confidence. Like you said, guys wouldn't be checking for the ugly girl if she was standing around with a drink in her hand but instead she's bussin it wide open on the dance floor.

    What good does it do, if you're pretty and think like a basic female i.e. "I can't talk to him, he's the man he should talk to me"

    "It's been 12 hrs and he still hasn't called, I think I'm gonna have sex with with a bumass nicca"

    To my fellow [pretty]sisters, STEP UP YOUR GAME!!!

    You're pretty, you know how to dress, you just got your hair and nails done and you've been eyeing this omari-hardwick-look-a-like for 3 hrs without making a move. See, you're a pretty girl with bitchassness-syndrome.

    Do what those ugly girls do and if you don't know what that is, read the post above.

  10. #First things first, that pic of cappie pondexter… that girl from my hood west side chicago she is not bad looking in person *shifty eyes* me and my guys at work were just talking about this how the loudest chicks at any function are always ugly chicks not only the ugly ones but the fat ones with the oswald cobblepot body(danny devitto penquin off batman) lol…i'm not saying i'm idris but I know my position. But I will wife the 6 over the 10 that doesn't know to keep me…..plus this reminded me a comedian tony roberts off comic view that said ugly women have to stuff pretty women do like cook,clean,ski, sew, play the violin, take a fastball in the face and don't cry lol classic sh!t lol

  11. Interesting. Pretty girls have so many stereotypes. I will be forever put in a box as the typical “light skinned model chick”, that everybody thinks EVERYBODY wants. Not so. I think I will have to lower my standards if I want to get married cuz the only ones that approach me are alcoholics and dope-fiends. Even the prettiest ones with all the qualities a man needs and wants, is still subject to rejection.

      1. Queen – #DEAD at you and Most! But I was like huh?

        I understand what you're saying though – men with no inhibitions approach all the time #prettygirlproblems

    1. Thee only way we can be sure of this "light skinned model chick" box is for you to fill that box to the right that currently has a white outlined head and body with a picture. Thanks.

  12. LOL. Jokes aside, I agree w/ this post wholeheartedly.

    In my crew of friends, we have a girl who is a bit more "homely looking" (don't lie, we all have one) but STAYS bagging dudes. And most of the time, they're not too shabby. And by bagging I don't mean he was drunk enough to take her home and then ran away the next morning – I mean they're taking her out to dinner, calling her on the regular, the whole nine. That ugly girl swag is real and nobody's man is safe these days

    I really think they've got their "elevator speech" locked down – these chicks know how to "sell themselves" in 30 secs or less. Shoot, I need to take a page out of their playbook.

    1. "I really think they’ve got their “elevator speech” locked down – these chicks know how to “sell themselves” in 30 secs or less. Shoot, I need to take a page out of their playbook.".

      BOL!! I can't with you….

      1. Yo Adonis, I don't agree with 90% the sh!t you say on the site, but I fux with the SS3 Goku Avatar…

        That is All

        1. @DeKeLa

          DBZ is successful because they really goes DEEP into the male psyche… My only knock is that the men are white…

          10% is alot… I can rock with that…

          But ultimately as time passes, as men get slapped to raise children that aren't his… & men get as$-raped in divorce court (she in your house f*ckin' the new dude around your daughter…) and interracial dating in America balloons out of control… (cause BW, because of OVERWHELMING misplaced pride refuse to raise their stock)

          I would like the people of this blog to silently agree in the corner of their minds…

          "Adonis got it right, way more than he got it wrong…"

          Thanks DeKeLa

        2. Take your meds Adonis, he likes your avatar. #ItsNotThatDeep

          What I say about you silently in my head is certainly not "You were right".

          *bites tongue*

          *recites to self* Love thy neighbor, love thy neighbor, love thy neighbor…

  13. A bunch of people reading this should see why the ugly duckling/beautiful swan theory holds true. Its nothing like a pretty woman who approaches life with the same vigor as an ugly one. Its rare but when it happens its amazing. She can either end up being a jumpoff or one of those down to earth quan having females.

    1. "She can either end up being a jumpoff or one of those down to earth quan having females."

      the latter is such a beautiful thing. i know this chick who didn't grow into her own until college. guys never checked for her but she was funny, intelligent and had great conversation. when she developed physically. i.e.-braces came off, contact, learned how to manage her hair…. she became a stunner.

      too bad by that point we were just friends.

      1. One of my high school classmates said this about me during our senior year. He told my boyfriend at the time to watch out, because she's going to evolve and give you a run for your money. Lol.

  14. I was too thru after "suck-jit-su, hand-job-fu, and Ride-it-shido" lmao. I'll be laughing about that one for a min.

    " plus this reminded me a comedian tony roberts off comic view that said ugly women have to stuff pretty women do like cook,clean,ski, sew, play the violin, take a fastball in the face and don’t cry lol classic sh!t lol"

    I was lookin for that clip! That's the FIRST thing I thought of! Tony's a mess.

    And I wholeheartedly agree w Dimpz.

  15. "SHE WAS BORN UGLY. So she trains like a Ninja, preparing herself in the art of suck-jit-su, hand-job-fu, and Ride-it-shido. " THIS!

    This has me in tears and I'm on a con-call.

    Its funny I have a friend whose body is ri-damn-diculous but would not be classified as pretty. But when I tell you her husband is FIONE and she told me straight up – I had to work hard and put up with a lot but he knows I'm ride or die. She said Nina you've been pretty all your life (o_- and??) so its not as hard for you. But that just isn't true! Yet I understand – they were together 10 years before they got married. She is a phD and makes most of the bread in the family. I mean…….

      1. He really did because she is doing big things – where she is now – a high powered cat would scoop her up INSTANTLY but she loves him!

    1. I went to undergrad with a girl who I swear fits this description. The guy she dated was one of the sexiest (sluttiest) guys on campus but she was this "homely" looking smart chick. You never saw her out anywhere because she was always studying (but he was ALWAYS out being bad.) I'd see them together & I didn't understand why he wanted her (besides the fact that she paid his bills, blah blah). But she put up with him for so long and now she's a pharmacist with his last name & his child. She's cuter than she used to be (I think the success made her prettier) but she's still not "cute" but this chick is #winning and so is he.

  16. art of suck-jit-su, hand-job-fu, and Ride-it-shido.


    Please tell my momma I left my furs-n-jewels to her in my will.

  17. Let me think, has an Ugly girl bagged me before *Falls thru the list* … Hmmmm, I wouldn't quite call any of them Ugly … Ok i will … I remember saying to my homeboy about this chick that i visited one lonely night that "when she looked up at me, I ran in place (became de-stimulated)." So, i guess she qualifies and I must admit, her mouth game (interpersonal skills) was excellent. She was funny, coo, assertive, but not THIRSTY, intelligent, goal-oriented, even had a incredible body (dang near perfect asset), 6th degree black belt in suck-jit-su (HILARIOUS), but ultimately it wasn't enough to keep me wanting cuz i couldn't take her out in public with me or see her before 9p, so yeah they may fly with some, but in the long run not with me…tho i will give it a test-drive 🙂

  18. I've been out of commission. Good post to return to and it opens the door up for a question I've been debating for quite some time but haven't had a chance to write about, yet.

    It's funny that women (and men) are constantly saying you should "look below the surface" and looks aren't everything and blah blah blah and other Hallmark mantras of that sort BUT whenever we see a man (or woman) with an unattractive mate we assume something is wrong with them.

    "Why are they with that ugly person?"

    Does no one see how hypocritical that is? Lol we sit here and b*tch and moan about how people should just us and everyone else on more than just looks then whenever a post like this or similar is written we laugh and high five each other about how crazy an idea it is to be with someone who isn't the most attractive person in the room.

    That doesn't make sense. And for the record, I'm guilty of this too. I'm just sayin.

    1. Listen I told you on twitter – my goal is to marry and unattractive dude so no one else would want him and my aunt told me because I was with him someone else would want him so I mean what??

      1. @Wisdom K,

        Definitely heavy hitting with that comment…

        @NF you need to get with an unpolished jewel with good character… But if you get with an attractive man… It's a crapshoot whether he will cheat on you or not

  19. As a former ugly girl I approve this message. Ugly chicks are the coolest, funniest, most loyal and dedicated people to have in your life for sure.

    <del>Of course the problem is that you can't hang around them publicly because they bring down your property value…</del>.

    Long live ugly girls. Or former ugly girls who transformed; then you get the best of both worlds.

    1. Yes! I'm definitely the "Reformed Ugly Girl,"

      Sometimes it still surprises when I get extra "perks" or I am treated ..pretty like…It's hard to explain.

      But this article had me dying laughing because I could definitely relate- Being the ugly girl truly builds the character and integrity and whatnot..LOL

      Good post 🙂

      1. In all the history of Lil Wayne, Janet Reno, and Flava Flav you ain't never been "ugly" Whittiest, you need A LOT more people!

  20. read this in class this morning and started DYING…

    I don't believe in slipping whether you're pretty or not. Pretty faces might get you a mate but it certainly won't keep one. While I don't roll with ugly chicks (or I might be the ugly chick lol) I do have one friend who is pretty as all get out but can't keep a man for more than one week. But I guess if ninjas are replaceable…

  21. I think pretty girls may have less-developed social skills because they've never had to work for attention in the past and don't know how to do it when they're grown and have to compete with regular chicks. Just like the smart kids in high school who make bad grades in college because they never learned how to study.

    In any event, ugly girls be #winning. It's a phenomenon. I don't understand it, but I want to learn.

  22. LMao.. Great post

    Ugly girls have to have the best sex game on this side of the Atlantic to get a sexy man and ugly men have to be Chris Rock funny to get beautiful women. Trust I've seen some funny looking brothers with some beautiful women.

    I will say that Ugly girls have a lot of inner confidence. They are realistic about what they look like so they don’t let looks go to their head. Most pretty girls who you think are shy have that confidence to but imagine if You met a pretty girl with "Ugly Girl swag" the next thing everyone would say is "who she think she is" "She's stuck up" "She think she cute"

    The problem I hear some of my male friends talk about with Ugly girls these days (At least the twitter era ugly girls) is that they’re starting to get pretty girl attitudes. Think about how many times you been on FB or twitter and seen a girl yelling about how bad she is and her face look like Pookie from new jack city or face look like "Jim Carey from the Mask".

    1. THIS!!!!!

      "The problem I hear some of my male friends talk about with Ugly girls these days (At least the twitter era ugly girls) is that they’re starting to get pretty girl attitudes. Think about how many times you been on FB or twitter and seen a girl yelling about how bad she is and her face look like Pookie from new jack city or face look like “Jim Carey from the Mask”.

      And I feel like such an @ss for thinking it, but I'm like "really? REALLY!?" Even pretty girls shouldn't have pretty girl attitudes but c'mon with your Lyle Lovett lookin self. O_o

      1. That is what happens when girls have social media… They have guys all over the world boosting their fragile ego… F*CKS up the dating ecosystem… I have def contributed to that disturbance…

  23. The thing is pretty girls are saying that they never get approached by men who aren't like miscreants. The thing is, pretty women can be intimidating. A dude gets scared. When I was young I took this to mean that most pretty women didn't have game because they never used it, so I thought that means they would be easy. There is some truth to that. Ugly girl swag is effective because they lack a sense of entitlement. That is what ruins us all.

    Other thing is don't discount age for a second with ugly girls. Some of the ugliest people grow up to learn how to put themselves together so nicely. I know a bunch of girls who aren't all that pretty, but they find a look that works for them and they stick with it. Best way to do this is to come to grips with who you really are and then move from there. People get mixed up in the head easily. Everybody got a friend who think dudes is always checking for them — when no dudes are checking for them, they're actually checking out the cute friend. She's in denial.

  24. ….am I the only girl who basically refuses to go through a drive-thru just in case there's a guy at the counter inside who will give me the pretty-girl freebies? …do ugly chicks get these deals too? #seriousquestion

    1. Yeah them freebies are whats up!! But u can get them through the drive thru too Keona ….So no hunny you are not alone.

  25. #icant with this post and many of the comments today, LOL.

    I'll be honest and say that I've def evolved over time. Every post-marriage bf I've had eventually sees my high school pics and goes, "Is this really you? That isn't you. Are you sure that's you?" LOL…smh. I really didn't have any personal style (wore baggy 90's gear), I rarely tamed my manly eyebrows…I get it, lol. I def wasn't the "go to chick" during those days. But, even as an awkward teen, I kept a boyfriend. So, there's def something to this…minus the slutty stuff in my case, lol…

    Shoot, I can remember having a "where do I fall on the pretty girl scale (from 1-10)" convo with my very first teenage serious boyfriend (who was cute then…hasn't aged the best though)…and he told me I was a 6…just made his cut off list and my winning personality made up for everything else. I was about 13/14 y/o. Now?! We hadn't seen each other in years and decided to go out to dinner to catch up…back in '08. He met me at my apt and my Mom opened the door. When I walked into the living room, I could see his thoughts all over his face, LMBO! #priceless Clearly, I'd jumped a few numbers by his standards… 😉

    Plus, I started talking to my ULTIMATE TANGIBLE CRUSH last year…#WINNING…cause he is FINE FINE FINE! Totally boosted my ego, lol. Unfortunately, mental attraction is what keeps me interested. I like intelligent, thinker-type men…and he was a bit shallow…no depth at all. And, someone we mutually know confirmed that character flaw…cause I actually tried talking to him, stopped, then tried again…cause he was FINE! Shame.

    1. I talked to a "pretty guy" last year…finest guy ever..6'2, hazel eyes, caramel skin..LAWD .I called him my summer fling because after you get over his looks, you realize you really can't stand him. He's the guy that you HATE when he calls you because you want to talk about old movies & literature but he wants to talk about how good you looked in that dress you wore to the club Friday night. Then when you ignore his calls, you need a translator to de-code all those misspelled words in his text msgs *sigh*. But he was the ego boost I needed after a long-term relationship ended…damn he fine tho.

      1. Alright now! LOL…

        Girrrrrrrrrrl, lemme tell you! I'd been crushing on this man since age 15! Which means he was my tangible visual standard for 13 years!!!!! The only men that look better than him from my perspective are Hollywood type dudes. He was …hol'up, lemme pull up dis pic in my phone (never deleting that joint), lol…a lil lighter than caramel, dark-thick eyebrows, nice full lips, pretty but manly looking…and when he'd look at you, those eyes went deep into your soul…woo chile!

        He was literate though, lol…

    2. Don't worry … we've all talked to that person who's not quite up to par from a mental standpoint a lil too long because they were smooth as eggs.

      Our eyes may win battles, but only by using our minds will we win the war.

  26. Because in their mind, ugly dude with pretty girl means ugly dude has money. Ugly girl with pretty guy means—what was he thinking.

    Lol! Man, this reminds me of a blog post some dude wrote ranking women and a couple of the rankings were:

    Elise (at least)- When you see a woman who isn't all that cute in the face, but you say, "at least" she has a phat booty, or "at least" she has a good body, etc..

    Maybe baby's- When you see a dude with a girl who is not cute at all and you think to yourself, "Maybe" she gives good head, or "Maybe" that's his sister

    Must have (busted baby's)- When you see a dude with a straight mud duck and have no clue how she pulled him, you think to yourself, man she "must have" some good credit, or she "must have" took care of him when he was in jail….lol.

    You get the point. If I can find the link I'll post it..it's a pretty good laugh.

    1. I'm stealing this so post that link so I can give credit where credit is due……and uh I haven't seen those abs around these parts before, or maybe I just missed them, either way…hello there lol.

  27. This reminds me of one of Barney Stinson's schemes on 'How I Met Your Mother', he would start befriending 'befores' at the gym when they're ugly so when they became 'afters' and haven't settled in with being pretty yet they'll only remember him as the one guy who showed affection to them while they were ugly. Not that bad of a plan really.

  28. This is my first visit to your site (Linked from Black 'n Bougie) and I love it! Would you mind if I link you from my fledgling blog?

    I have seen plenty of women who are long in the tooth and face that have a gorgeous guy and is the life of the party. They are better at knowing the male psyche and are more willing to put in the hours and (wo)manpower to put a guy in a happiness coma. And he is less likely to be worried about her roaming off somewhere, as he feels she should be lucky to have him.

    More power to the aesthetically challenged!

  29. I knew I shldnt have read comments before comin to reply rotfl!!!!! I can NOT..w yall…TODAY!! Everyone tickled me (and I see my blog boo MIX up in here too) but today ADONIS sir you have me truly *so undone* Someone swing those sweet chariots low for me plz?! lol
    Ok….*exhale annnnd SERIOUS FACE* Now i'm thankful to pretty much be a medium. Well done wld be the model broads and rare wld be the "unprettiest of the unpretty". I am not #tigerbloodwinning enough to feel like the world owes me something for being born lucky, but I praise God that im not #epicallylosing to the point that you gotta keep me in a cage while you go out and feed me raw meat when you come home!!! Ole dnt get me wet or feed me after midnight type stuff.
    I wld like to thank baby Jesus for puttin me on the #CuteEnoughToPassWithThePersonalityToLast swindle!! Chyyyych!!

    1. "im not #epicallylosing to the point that you gotta keep me in a cage while you go out and feed me raw meat when you come home!!!"

      *G6 is now officially plant fertilizer /__________/ Coming soon to a Home Depot or Lowe's near you*

      These comments kilt me today.

  30. Oh and let's stop with the reformed ugly girl thing … When u were younger than 21 you're subject to being called ugly for various dumb azz reasons (i.e. too dark, your hair is too long, your nose is too big, you're too fat, your hair is too nappy, etc.). Being called ugly by other kids is usually not a credible source for ugliness. Now when ur 23 and u notice u don't get much direct eye contact from people in general then yes maybe Beauty is not your name (RIP Dru Hill).

    The ugly duckling into a beautiful swan is a cute, inspiring story, but it certainly isn't the norm.

  31. I have a theory I just wanted to run by you guys real quick: it seems to me that more often than not, classically good looking guys end up having ridiculous self esteem issues (ie. This 'low self' is manifested via cheating, wandering eyes, inflated sense of self entitlement, general misbehavior, (insert here), etc. I believe this largely due to the fact that they rely on female attention to affirm themselves in their good looks. The same could be said of good looking girls, I'd suppose…

    By the same token, as someone said earlier, I believe pretty girls suffer (well, not quite suffer) through quite a few negative stereotypes. Men think you won't try in bed, people are inclined to think you're not allowed to speak on certain issues because 'you don't know what it's like, being pretty and all'. Also, often times the opportunities you're afforded are questioned, seen as merely the perks of being pretty. And if you're a pretty girl who just so happens to have a great personality? It's harder to develop good, solid friendships (especially with men) because of your looks. Weaknesses in your character are automatically cited as the result of leading a pretty life, when the truth of the matter is…youre a person like everyone else, who sometimes just doesnt give a damn. Certainly, these aren't the worst stereotypes to be ascribed (because, inversely, it seems unfair to think that an ugly girl should have to put in work just because she is ugly. I've heard people claim fat girls or ugly girls should learn to be accommodating simply because of their looks!) Pretty girls are often called to task in a way that pretty boys are not, the way I see it. 'shrug'

    I will admit it, fixer-uppers end up being some of the most well rounded, functional people you will ever meet. They end up being great because they are in a constant state of adaptation, change, and progression because of their general open mindedness….also, because of having seen both sides of the coin, I guess.

  32. The not so cute girls have the best bodies…

    It is to the point that the azz is more valuable than the face for ME now a days.

    Long live Butsed Bolinda and that FAT ONE!!!!

  33. NC, sir, you never disappoint. I'm over here dying…anyway, I think some of these women average and above need to take notes from the ugly girls. There are women out here thinking their being attractive is enough to keep a man. No boo boo, it takes work, especially in the long run.

  34. First of all, Really?OMG. Pretty vs Ugly girls. It is a guys site so I understand. First of all, all that crap changes with age. So, your pretty/ugly better be real good in the beginning because it is not promised in the end. Next, regardless of how pretty/ugly the person is, and how many classes and clothes you buy, if the personality is not there-your stuck if your married. Next, how old are ya'll? Is this a serious conversation? Is this really a serious conversation?

    1. …..I would say most of us are low 20s to low 30s and unmarried so its relevant….at least to me I'm tryin ta find me a man! …..I would like to say I'm just kidding but its the truth!

  35. Why does everyone keep saying that pretty girls lack interpersonal skills???

    As if "ugly" girl is the coolest chick on the planet-

    Am I the only one who has met chicks that are ugly inside and out?

    Sidebar- the ugly chick who put up with the whoring fine guy, in my mind is anything BUT winning. It just sounds like she felt she had to put up with it becuz that was the trade off….sm

  36. An "ugly" chick posted along side a wall at the club…shy, laid-back, chilling….a "pretty" chick doing the same…arrogant, superiority complex….Is it that "pretty" women think they're better or that YOU think that they're better? Who knows. And what's with all this "working" for attention, acceptance or recognition? Hint of desperation in there even if it is subtle…at the end of the day, be a f@$&ing individual…be who you are, do what you love and live passionately…the rest just sort of falls into place.

  37. as usual, late…

    but i wanted to say what about Arnold S. mistress. she wasn't easy on the eye, but he had an affair with her for several years and is even taking care of her to this day.

  38. #DEAD

    I could not stop laughing. "An ugly chick has been ugly her entire life, it’s not an acne breakout—SHE WAS BORN UGLY. So she trains like a Ninja, preparing herself in the art of suck-jit-su, hand-job-fu, and Ride-it-shido."

  39. hahaha!


    Im guilty of being the shy pretty girl 🙁

    Dayum…Gotta step my game up! (taking notes)


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