I listen to a syndicated talk radio show and it seems like their sole purpose is to come up with inflammatory questions to ask their listeners each week. Last week’s question was:
When is it OK to deny your husband xes?
Responses fell into three general categories.
Category 1: Never. Other than the monthly visit from Aunt Flo, these women said they never deny their husband’s xes when he wants it.
Lord, I hope my wife falls into this category. I recognize my wife is more than a xes symbol and I hope you’re intelligent enough to recognize I realize that. If you are not, you have issues, not me. Why would I marry a woman just for xes? Don’t be stupid.
However, to want to have xes with my wife is normal, if not expected. I see nothing wrong with having a reasonable expectation to have xes with my wife when I want to and vise versa. I am not married, so maybe I live in a world of fairy tales and unicorns to assume that my wife would be willing to have xes with me, her husband. What a crazy concept.
As an additional note, in High School a girl told me the following: You can swim in the Red Sea as long as you don’t drink the water.
“That’s all I have to say about that.” – Forest Gump
Category 2: When I’m not in the mood.
Fair enough. I imagine under the rigors of work, marriage, kids, and life in general, there will be times were my wife, I, or both will not be in the mood to have xes at the same time.
My only concern would be – and I’ve been in a relationship like this – we only have xes when she is in the mood. If her mood does not align with my mood, then too bad. That’s fine, it’s your body and you can do what you want with it.
However, in this instance, xes can easily become not an act of passion and connection between the woman I love and have chosen to spend the rest of my life with, but instead it is nothing more than an abuse of power whereby she uses xes to manipulate and control the relationship on her terms. Don’t act like this is a far-fetched concept. If you’re not in the mood, you’re not in the mood but if you’re strangely always in the mood when you want something and never when you don’t, that’s a problem.
Category 3: Whenever I feel like it, for whatever reason I feel like, and I don’t owe him any explanation, because I am more than a vagina! *finger snaps and neck jerks*
In my humble opinion, a man should not have to go through hostage negotiations to have xes with his own wife.
The majority of these women made comments like, “if he only wants an O he should [master his domain].” This is a strange concept to me for a multitude of reasons. First of all, no one ever says this to women. I have never heard a man remark, “if she only wants an O she should [master her domain]!” How silly would that sound?
Further, we’re not talking about some John off the street. We’re talking about your HUSBAND. The person you supposedly love and vowed to be with for the rest of your life. Is there no taking one for the team? Your husband, whom I assume is faithful (for now) is trying to sleep with you, his wife. Isn’t that how it is is supposed to happen? Lastly, I’ve been a man a long time and without going into too much detail I am 99.8% positive they have not created anything that comes remotely close to [insert politically correct preferred term for your lady part here]. If they have please point me in the direction of that flea market. Otherwise, telling the man who loves you to mastur-his-bate instead of have xes with you, his wife, is the dumbest comment I have ever heard anyone make in my entire life – and it reflects poorly on both the view of your xes skills and emotional connection you two have if you think you are that easily replaced.
According to NBC news, there are 20 million Americans in xesless marriages (marriages where couples have xes less than 10 times a year). I’m sure many started out in one of these categories. Where do you see yourself falling when married or, if you are already married, fall currently? Which statements do you agree or disagree with? If a husband/wife turns their significant other down, do they owe them an explanation? Would you remain in a xesless marriage?
PS. Check out my latest video blog, Her Second Option.