Russell Stay Winnin
Sometime around 11th or 12th grade, as all of my male classmate’s growth began spurting and they became taller than our female compatriots, I came to one of my life’s more important realizations: Height Matters.
I’d always known that height mattered if you wanted to be a professional basketball player or a model or something like that – but those things never really interested me. It wasn’t until my late high school years that I realized that height mattered in a more fundamental way, a way that would actually impact my life. I could sit around a list all of the advantages being tall might afford an individual, but instead, just think of it like this: If a guy who’s 6’’5’ wants to walk 10 feet he probably has to take three or four steps. If a guy who’s 5’’8’ wants to walk 10 feet he probably has to take four or five steps. That’s pretty much life for a guy who’s not so tall. What I realized when I came to the realization that height mattered and that I was not going to be a tall person was that if I wanted to have the fullest life I possibly could, if I wanted to have the sort of influence I desired, if I wanted to win the way I think I deserve to win, I needed to buttress my not so tallness with complete and utter awesomeness. In today’s post I’m going to share with you all some of the things I’ve learned along the way
Look Closely at #3 - Prince Rogers Nelson the GOAT - Think he Cares about his Height?
1) Accept the fact that you’re not tall.
One of the worst things you can do if you’re not a tall person is be self-conscious about your height. If you’re not tall you need to accept that fact and keep it pushing. You also have to accept the fact that people will have no problem pointing out to you the fact that you’re not tall. A dude who’s not tall can be 35 years old and a woman will have no problem telling him he’s “adorable.” You just gotta eat those. There’s something inherently wrong about making fun of a fat person because they’re fat. Likewise, if a person is universally ugly – by every standard of beauty of the face of the earth, it’s not cool to remind them of that. But if you’re short, it’s perfectly ok for someone to call you an oompaloompa. #LifeIsHard, deal with it. You also need to understand that some women have height preferences. When a woman tells you that she only dates men that are over six feet, you have to be confident enough in yourself to look her in her eyes and tell her that she’s totally entitled to that preference and that you make it a point to avoid dating women who prefer to date men who are over six feet.
Being a World Class Chef Makes Height Irrelevant ... Marcus Samuelsson FTW
2) Be Interesting
If you’re not tall, you can’t be lame. There’s nothing worse than being corny and short. Instead be a renaissance man. You need to always be reading a book and always have a new hobby you’re in the middle of developing. You should try to stay up on on the latest happenings in the areas of music, fashion, art and politics and you should be able to convert that knowledge into interesting conversation. Nobody cares if the 6’3’’ dude that just walked in the spot can explain in adult English why we needed to raise the debt ceiling, everyone is too mesmerized by the fact that he had to duck to walk through the doorway. But you and your 5’7’’ self, nobody even noticed when you walked in so when it’s your turn to speak, you need to be Obama. I don’t mean 2011, compromise on everything, Obama, I mean spring 2008 “so what my pastor is racist, you still love me” Obama. Your references and taste should be impeccable. You need to be able to lead a conversation seamlessly from Tolstoy to Tyler the Creator without missing a beat and without sounding pretentious. Because evolution and genetics did all the work in developing the tall man physically- personal internal development on his part is beneficial but not always necessary. The not so tall man needs to make it a point to continuously strive to make himself the best possible person he can be if he plans to win at life.
Sharp
3) Develop your sense of style and keep yourself immaculately groomed.
When you’re not tall you have to be really careful about what you decide to wear. I never got down with the whole baggy clothes phenomenon because oversized clothing makes a not tall man look like a kid playing dress up in his dad’s closet. You also have to be wary of some today’s more current trends. Right now for men, the trend seems to lean toward this semi-couture/semi-urban I care but don’t care sorta look. I blame Kanye. Thing is, when you’re not tall, dressing like Kanye is not a good look. Wait, let’s be clear – at this point dressing like Yeezy isn’t a good look for anyone, but when you’re not tall somehow, super trendy is easily mistaken for effeminate. Being short and trendy when you’re a guy is like when a girl is tall and only wears sweat pants and t-shirts. You kinda just assume they play for the other team. Develop your own sense of style. Familiarize yourself with the classics and borrow a few of the more current trends to accentuate the look.
4)Understand the Concept of Home Games and Away Games
It Works if You're T.I.
Home field advantage doesn’t only exist in the realm of sports- there are practical advantages to understanding the difference between a home game and an away game. As it relates to those of us who aren’t tall, you need to understand that certain environments will rarely be conducive to success for you. A perfect example is a club. I have a friend who’s about 6’’3’, 215 lbs. To whit, he’s a handsome dude who’s brown enough to not be light, but light enough to pass the brown paper bag test. When he walks into the club, women don’t just want to sleep with him, they want to procreate with him. They don’t just fantasize about having mind blowing sex with him, they fantasize about mixing gene pools with him. That’s not what women see when they see a not so tall guy in the club. That’s why the club scene, for guys who aren’t tall, will forever be an away game.
Also, women always make it a point to wear their highest heeled shoes when they go out to the club which makes it seem like every chick in the spot is amazonian. Next, if the club is crowded, you might as well be Stevie Wonder. It gets really annoying when your boy keeps trying to point out an attractive woman across the room and all you can see are the shoulders of the four guys in front of you. Besides that, it’s really awkward when that attractive woman starts throwing it back at you as you’re dancing and her a** keeps landing in your stomach area, knocking the wind out of you. It’s just really, really awkward, seriously. Most importantly, the club is a loss for the not so tall man because the loudness of the music mitigates your best asset … your words. You’ve spent all this time developing yourself, making yourself the best conversationalist on the planet but it’s all worth naught because it’s too loud to talk to anyone. The club is an away game. Home games include BBQ’s, Dinners, Lounges and certain house parties.
Look, the purpose of this post isn’t to say that guys who aren’t tall are handicapped or seriously disadvantaged. We don’t need to pass around the collection plate for the vertically challenged. Truthfully, everyone – regardless of height – should work on developing themselves in the aforementioned ways. But for the man who’s not very tall, working on these areas will help even the playing field between you and all the nephilim descended folks you might find yourself competing against. So fellas, especially those of you under 5’9” – do you think your height has had a positive or negative impact on your life – particularly your love life. Has a woman ever told you that you were too short for her? For my tall dudes out there… why are y’all so corny? Just kidding … sort of … No shots though. Ladies, if you were a ride at a theme park, what height would be the minimum? Where does height fall on your list of desired attributes in a potential mate?
Lastly, quick admin note: For the time being, the homey CEO Slim Jackson is going to be alternating on Thursdays with our comrade Wisdom Is Misery. I’m rocking out on Mondays … gotta keep yall on your toes.
As always… stay low and keep firing…
Good entry.
Yes, maximizing your assets is actually the BEST way to minimize whatever real or imagined liabilities you might have. The reason I say "imagined" is to reiterate the point that you've already made:
MANY of our "shortcomings" can sometimes be more imagined than they are real.
There is a disappointing amount of brothers out here committing dating and relationship suicide. What they do is blow away their chances with women by REFUSING to even try to Man Up in the areas of life that are within their control. Their whole mindset is wrong. They have chosen to adopt a loser's mentality rather than a winner's. This is a HUGE mistake.
However, the good news for these kinds of guys is that every victory in this battle to be a better man today than they were yesterday begins with them "daring" to believe that they CAN be successful with women and in life in general.
Guys who can adopt a victorious mindset are guys who will soon know from experience that a man's true "height" is determined more by how highly he views himself mentally and spiritually rather than just by how tall he may actually be physically "only".
Victory Unlimited
I strongly agree with all of this. I'll try to form a better response latter on tonight or in the morning.
When a woman tells you that she only dates men that are over six feet, you have to be confident enough in yourself to look her in her eyes and tell her that she’s totally entitled to that preference and that you make it a point to avoid dating women who prefer to date men who are over six feet.
Most, I'm happy you stay composed and professional in all of your posts, but I would have literally laughed out loud if you would have written
When a woman tells you that she only dates men that are over six feet, you have every right to say "That's okay, I only date light-skinned women with long hair." LMAO…. but I digress.
I agree with everything you said. Especially that all men should work towards these goals. I once heard that Impressive is what you have to be when you're not interesting enough. I always took that to heart…. and made it my goal to never intentionally impress anyone again.
When a woman tells you that she only dates men that are over six feet, you have to be confident enough in yourself to look her in her eyes and tell her that she’s totally entitled to that preference and that you make it a point to avoid dating women who prefer to date men who are over six feet.
Also #winning.
"Impressive is what you have to be when you’re not interesting enough"
Hmmm….I like it, I like it *scribbles in notepad*
"When a woman tells you that she only dates men that are over six feet, you have to be confident enough in yourself to look her in her eyes and tell her that she’s totally entitled to that preference and that you make it a point to avoid dating women who prefer to date men who are over six feet.
Most, I’m happy you stay composed and professional in all of your posts, but I would have literally laughed out loud if you would have written
When a woman tells you that she only dates men that are over six feet, you have every right to say “That’s okay, I only date light-skinned women with long hair.” LMAO…. but I digress."
TWIsM, your rebuttal for a woman who tells you she only dates men over six feet tall (in your attempt NOT to be composed and professional) is to say you only date light-skinned women with long hair. I'm confused. What if the woman who said that is light-skinned with long hair?
I can dig it. 🙂
I like to believe that I would date a man shorter than me. I could probably wrap my head around it, moreso if we could talk about Chinua Achebe and hip hop in the same conversation.
Plus, I appreciate the fact that a lot of the time…short men try harder. #win
Homey has one of my all time favorite quotes:
"No matter how prosperous a man, if he is unable to rule his women and his children (and especially his women) he is not really a man."
This is hilarious but as a short man I do agree. I would only add that as a short man its ever so much more important to be in good physical shape. You don't have to be built like you came straight off the cover of Muscle & Fitness but you don't want to look like the #1 customer in Dunkin Donuts either. How you dress combined with your physique can give you a slight optical illusion of length. And a nice body definitely helps when it comes to the "he's short but his arms/chest/back/abs…..YES" thing that women do. Wont work for/on every woman but im short and my fiancee is taller then me sooooooo…… lol
Fact: Every time a man gets a woman who's taller than him to say "I do" a starving child is fed in some poor village somewhere… so shout out to you for helping end starvation good brother.
And your point about being in shape is spot on. When you're not tall, pudgy is not the move… neither is all the way swole. Gotta find that middle ground of being perfectly tuned.
Happy to help the kids lol.
But yes, short and pudgy or overly brolic only accentuates the lack of height. Especially the brolic….makes you look like you are overcompensating. This one I also know too well as I at one point swole up like a half sized Hulk. Was meaning to do so either lol
Hah! I once went on a date with a man that was 5'3 and swole. Interesting look!
Soul06: "I would only add that as a short man its ever so much more important to be in good physical shape. You don’t have to be built like you came straight off the cover of Muscle & Fitness but you don’t want to look like the #1 customer in Dunkin Donuts either."
I personally prefer to keep the Muscle & Fitness look, but at 5'-8", I have to dial back the weights if it looks like I'm coming remotely close to passing into Flex or MuscleMag territory (ok, not that steroidal big, but I know when I'm getting too big). When you're short and too wide or thick, you start looking like a cube.
Lmao @ looking like a cube! I've seen a couple of dudes that fit that bill.
Ronnie from Jersey Shore comes to mind :-).
Looking like a cube, though? lmao!
Great post. I think everyone has to have this kind of attitude going into the dating game. What you lack in one area you make up in another important area. I rather have a short gentleman than a tall A-hole.
One thing though I hate when I hear women who are 5'1 talking about they need a brother that’s 6 ft or taller lol YOUR 5"1 you better give that 5'7 brother over their giving you all that attention a shot. Like if you 5 '1 and put 4 inch heels on you will still be shorter than your man so what’s the problem.
Also I love how you write about people’s right to preference. I think we all have to understand that to one person we might be all the bells and whistles but to another we might not quite rock their socks and that’s OK, let them miss out, especially when it’s over something like height.
Funny you mention that because I had a friend like that. She is like 4'11" but preferred dudes about 6'1" or taller. I have to laugh at that because even with 5" heels dude would still need to kneel just to kiss her. I look at that as the female version of the Napoleonic Complex.
I think short women who want tall men have as much a right to their preferences as anyone else. I think it's unnecessary, but who am I to judge.
A woman who is 6ft does not NEED a man who is 6ft she wants one… and my 5'1 one self wants one too! lol!
But like someone said up top… A nice physique will make me take notice of the "5’7 brother over their giving (me) all that attention".
Yeah, I used to be one of those too, lol. I wanted my children (especially my sons) to have height so I figured I needed a tall man…and it worked! My 7 year-old wears 10 year-old clothes, lol. He's long and lean!
good post, but can you explain something to me about short men? I know this is probably a stereotype but it has been true in my experiences. I am a tall girl, almost six feet barefoot…and I find that short men would have a chance with me if they weren't always sooooo extra. Why cant you just approach me like a normal person. Why does it always have to be "hey girl you know we the same height in the bed" or something else along those lines. We both know you're short so why mention it? If a short dude approached me and was just like hey what's up, I'd at least have convo with him but when they come at me on that napoleon-ish I have to kinda laugh and keep it moving…
That sort of approach is exactly why I wrote this post. I think that's the approach of a man who's stuck in the beginning stages of working out his insecurities about his height. It's his was of stating the obvious, putting it on the table first, so that if that's a problem for you, you can let him know early before he actually starts talking to you and developing an attraction. He doesn't want you to make him feel inadequate, so he's pointing out what he feels is in an inadequacy first.
The proper way to approach a woman taller than you is… the exact same way you'd approach any other woman. If you know your worth, if you know you're awesome, then you should never feel inadequate. When someone prefers something you're not and can never be, it doesn't mean you're not good enough, it just means you guys aren't compatible.
InsomniaPoet: "Why cant you just approach me like a normal person. Why does it always have to be “hey girl you know we the same height in the bed” or something else along those lines."
While Most is probably right about insecurity, I think that speaks more to that man's corniness to approach a woman with a line like that. But having a modicum of corniness myself, I wouldn't know for sure. I just can't imagine approaching a woman like that.
LOl that is the tamest of the lines…trust me they can be ugly…one guy told me he was the perfect height to please me orally b/c he was literally at my belly button! LMAO
Ha! This is funny… I'm 5 ft 9 without heels, 6 ft with them on … One time I had this little non engilsh speaking fellow say to me "wow your big, me little… I like big women" All I could do was smile and say thanks. Been this height for half my life and I am okay with it, actually I wouldn't mind another inch or two but there is no need to point out how tall or long I am; I ALREADY KNOW!!! lol
Speaking of which I swear I have a magnet on my forehead that's only visible to short english as a sceond language guys… They say the craziest mess I've EVER heard…
Good post, Most….I'm not the shortest guy on the planet (a little over 6 foot), but relative to the people I hang out with I'm one of the shorter ones in the crew so I can relate to a few of your points here.
And it's no joke about women's heel game in the lounge/club. The last couple times I've been out it seemed every other woman I came across was eye to eye with me or close to it, lol. It's kind of funny, but I notice any time I meet a woman initiallly and she has on her 4 inch "stripper" heels and then we meet up again and she's wearing flats she always gives me this weird kind of look and says, "Hmm…I didn't realize you were so tall before.." Umm, maybe you didn't realize it because you're a whole half a foot shorter now, smh. lol.
Lol as a tall man a little over 6'1 do u like short women 4'9 – 5'4 do u have a height preference or is that something that women take more into account?
I really don't put much weight on height (no pun intended) as I won't immediately dismiss an attractive woman because I feel she is too short or too tall. I believe women take height into account more…you know..the whole security thing.
The last woman I dated was a shade under 5'6" and she was happy with my height because I was still a few inches taller than her when she wore heels. She claimed taller guys made her feel more like a woman. *shrugs*
That's the same way I felt about taller guys. I'm no giant, just 5 ft 6.5, but when a guy is around five or six inches taller than me, it makes me feel small and dainty like a lady. Weird I know.
Who you hanging out with, Carmelo and them?
Lol, I know, right? My main roll dog I hang with is 6'6" 285lb…so yeah, I know I look all kinds of small when we rolling up in the spot together. In college, one of my roommates (my cousin, actually) was 6'5" and another was 6'2" …Needless to say, when we played pick up ball at the rec we more than held our own, lol.
I always took pride in waxing teams of giant dudes like you and your boys the basketball court… lol. #NoShots
yo most don't forget to hit me with places to hoop and leagues.
@MadScientist – I got you fam, soon as the fall leagues start up I'll pass them along. I'm looking at playing in at least 2, maybe 3 leagues this fall…
SMH now we gotta worry out Tunde at Battle of Sparta
what's battle of sparta? some hooping tourney?
and most. cool that's about how many i normally play in in the fall.
Good post Most! I'm about 5'8 myself and my thing was I was always understanding to the fact that women want to feel small..so If i come across a chick that's 5'10 (without heels) and fine as hell, she still may not be feeling me, no matter how dope I am..took me a while to be comfortable with that..that 5'10 chick needs to feel small standing next to me, I'm sure there's an adolescent connect in there somewhere but it is what it is…I think I was about 21 or 22 when I decided to accept that im the sheeeeit at any height and imma do me..oddly enough when my attitude changed and I came off like I didn't care, id actually get taller chicks…its def boils down to attitude…women dig confidence at any height
I've dated mostly Hispanic women since about 17/18..I dont know if the height thing has anything to do with that..Now that I think about it I seem to come across some dope ass 5'1-5'5 types that fit me perfectly, but we'll save that for another rant on another day..lol
"its def boils down to attitude…women dig confidence at any height"
Truth.com
But being too overly confident to the point of having a "Napoleon Complex" is not a good look.
Ahh, so SBM has finally posted the story of my life.
I'm 5'7 and nearly 90% of my friends and family tower over me by at least a head. In High School I would wonder why the ladies would not take ya boy seriously, but that was…at that time there was nothin serious about me *glances at Pokemon Card collection across the room*
Luckily for me, I adopted the mindset that despite what I don't have, my genetics gave me one thing I can use to my benefit, and that was intelligence. With that in mind, I threw out the old Southpole giant Tees and the crusty Fila kicks and copped some boat shoes lol. If you are *short* your clothes must fit perfectly to look good. Its an unfortunate truth, or you get what TMIMITW outlined above.
Also, instead of complainin about "why wont shawty accept my Go-Kart invite?", I decided to actually take the time out to at least try to understand women a little better, which has led me to this site in the 1st place.
Height matters a lot, but confidence is extremely important, in addition to security with oneself. Without those two…shoot…have fun hookin up with your hand 😛
LMAO @ *glances at Pokemon Card collection across the room*
Great post and it's right on time for me. I JUST figured out I have a preference. While it's not extreme I was surprised and I'm not sure what to do with it. I guess nothing? Anyway, I met him on set. Exchanged info. Had sporadic convo for 3 or 4 mos. Met for drinks. I'm not sure but I'd guess he was 5'3", maybe 5'4". I'm 5'7". Not a huge difference, but I didn't like it. I guess I've dated my height & taller which means with heels I am taller than some of my dates, so again I never realized I have a preference. And then… he was swole. I'm not a fan of swole at any height, so it just compounded his height. Regardless, of why he stays in the gym unfortunately many people will think he's tryna compensate for his height. I did. It's eff'd up really. Still feeling some kinda way about myself on this one.
Mel, there aren't a lot of 5'7'' women out there who are willing to give a guy who's 5'3'' any sort of shot at all. You don't have anything to feel guilty about.
Whew, thanks for the pass Most… lol. I was just dead when I saw him again. I was so asking myself why I hadn't noticed his height when I first met him? Kicking myself actually, I don't like wasting anyone's time. It also didn't help that he had on long camouflaged shorts and running shoes with the soles that look like they're made with springs. I was just done.
5'3" … GatDayum that's tough … My mans needs to move to Hobbiton or some other community for small people.
Funny how this "hobbit town" comment comes in a thread that was just pointing out how its only okay to make fun of short people while making fun of people who are ugly, fat or disabled is considered wrong. *shrugs* just thought that to be an funny observation.
@Soul06 I was thinking the same thing… it's like the perfect example. But now, if a guy who's 5'3'' comes on here and goes at Top5, everyone would say he has a Napoleon complex.
*Walks up to podium, pulls out loose leaf piece of paper, clears throat and takes a sip of water*
For all the fellas that are 5'3" or shorter, I apologize for my immature, insensitive remark made in jest. I have much respect for you guys and admire the strength, courage and self-confidence it takes to strive in today's society. And in attempts to right my wrong, I'm committing to 45 min of service to assist anyone needing help retrieving products on the top shelf at the local Wal-mart.
*Damage Control Attempt #1*
LAUGHED OUT LOUD @Top5 because of this line:
"And in attempts to right my wrong, I’m committing to 45 min of service to assist anyone needing help retrieving products on the top shelf at the local Wal-mart."
So backhanded while trying to be sincere…
#done
Yeah #Isawwhathedidthere Smh lol
Lmaoooo my baaaad … Trying to keep things light here.
@Top5DOA just kind of died at that ol backhanded arse apology. Lol.
In undergrad my homegirl set me up on a blind date with a guy who was like 5'4-5'5. I was cool about it, wasn't rude and I had a good time. But I called my friend every morning for 2 wks at like 6 am singing the "oompa loompa" song from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. She knew better.
"oompa loompa doopity dooo"
One of my homegirls is always making fun of me because I like short guys…but I'm 5'1," I don't need a tall dude. Even if I wear my highest-heeled eff me pumps, I'm still only gonna be 5'6.5." So a guy who is 5'8" is just perrrrrrrrfect. I dated a guy who was 6'3"-220-brown skin (yes, chicks stared at him wherever we went, very disconcerting) and it was seriously a pain in my neck. I was always looking up at him. And I felt like my back was breaking (not in a good way) whenever he bent over to hug me. It was just not comfortable. Give me my short guy and I'm good…
I do despise how it's okay to make fun of short people though..
Being on the Shorty-do wop side my side, I feel u one hunnid Most.. Doesn't help that I have a younger sibling who is over 6'5 (FML). I learn to accept it and just be the best man that I can be. It's all about confidence in your demeanor and your approach.
Funny enough, every girl I have ever dated has been my height (which at 5'7-9/10) is tall for a girl, but they all say they appreciate not having to wear heels all the time. So there are advantages lol.
"Doesn’t help that I have a younger sibling who is over 6’5 (FML)."
My little brother is 6'-3". I have no idea how he got an extra seven inches in height on me.
Haha Hugh – my dad was 5'4", my mom was about a half inch taller, my brother is 6'4". Do what I do, and tell him that he's the mail man's baby.
Great entry.
I'm 21, 5"9 but with that Jay-Z/Jadakiss facial hair issue which I reckon looses me an inch of height. So I got the babyface. My girl has called me cute more times than sexy/handsome. In fact I get called cute more than anything by females. So when you said:
A dude who’s not tall can be 35 years old and a woman will have no problem telling him he’s “adorable.” You just gotta eat those.
It hit home. I can be mad as hell for the rest of my life or just deal with it. By most scales i'm successful with the opposite sex but I've always thought if I was 5 inches taller and could grow a beard i'd be unstoppable. But when I look around, my tall friends tend to be not as open, confident and willing to talk to females as I am. My lightskin T.I. type don't have the swagger/body that I do so I guess we all do what we must to get by/get some. Unfortunately for me that requires unbridled confidence, long conversations, benching 100kg and the swagger on Mick Jagger.
I'm in the middle ground at just about 5'10" and I can't imagine having to deal with being shorter than 5'9" cuz it seems as if nowadays women are getting taller and taller. I think it's sometimes harder for guys like me dating/talking to/hitting on chicks around the same height as me with heels on because they're not necessarily tall chicks but with 5 inch heels on they look like Amazons and since i'm either eye level with them or an inch shorter, i'm not an obvious short guy, but i'm also not that 6 foot dude either. So it's still hit or miss. I'm starting to develop a confidence that i didn't have to before simply based on height. I'm still not completely comfortable with talking to or dating a woman that's taller than me. Although, I was recently successful with a chick that was 6 ft with flats on in the club (I thank my dancing skills and a few donated chicken wings I bought in the club for that move … If u give a woman some chicken in the club You.Can't.Lose).
But yeah, 5'9"-5'11" is like standing in the area on the tennis court between the baseline and the service lines —-> No Man's Land … Be prepared for alot of balls (Pause!) to come at ur feet … Your height is still in question. So bring an A game Justin Case.
5'9" with a babyface makes you look short. In this day and age 5'10" is the safest you can be without being called short.
Exactly 5'10" is safe, but I have a considerable amount of facial hair, so I can rock a beard in 2 weeks if i wanted to, which prevents the cute/adorable compliments. Although I hated working at UPS and being a part-time Supervisor…All you can have is a mustache…I looked like a pedophile.
UPS regulates your facial hair!? #Fascists
This post is funny, yet real.
I'm 5'10, maybe a little over but unlike short women I dont measure down to the quarter inch. This means I'm on the cusp. To your average woman, I'm not tall but I'm not short. I get by. Ever since I got over being shy in like 5th grade, I've been confident so there's really not a woman out there that I think is "out of my league," height or otherwise.
I will say in college I went through a streak of dating 6ft plus women, so I begin to think that was the norm. It also let me know "I could do it." As you alluded to, we're all a product of our environment, so having gotten the tall women out of my system in my 20s, I had that confidence going forward. Sort of like bagging a bad chick when you're young, then for the rest of your years you can look at other bad women and be like, "I've done this before — or better." I look at approaching taller women / FINE women like coaches advise rookies scoring their first touchdown in the NFL:
"Act like you've been there before."
As a final note, I do find it annoying/weird/kind of dumb that (some) women have the "I must be taller than him even in heels" rule. Doesnt make sense to me with the alleged "man shortage" that women would further convolute the issue by ruling out perfectly good men who arent taller than them…in heels.
I forgot to add 2 things:
1) Like TMIMITW, I almost want to stand up and slow clap or high five someone any time I see a short dude with a tall chick. lol The bigger the difference the better. I usually give him the "you did that my n-word" nod instead.
2) I got fussed at for pointing this out on Twitter before but it's funny that short women like tall dudes because, assuming they have a son, they will have a short(er) son more than likely. Now this chump will grow up and be doomed to be discriminated against by women. Soooo, you're lowkey [Rooster]blocking on your future son.
I say by 2025 everyone's going to be 5'5.
*slowly cranes head around and makes awkward eye contact with Animate*
No shots.
I used to just chuckle when girls would dismiss any man under 6ft. Great girl, sit over there holding out for Lurch to come find you, I'll be over here actively dating and having fun.
I dunno bout your #2…
Both of my sons are tall for their age. Their Dad is 1 ft. 2 in. taller than me.
My 7 year-old is the height of a 10 year-old. My 3 year-old is the height of a 5 year-old (he'll be 4 in a few weeks though).
But, my father is a 6 footer…and so is my dad's bro…so, umm, yeah, lol. My kids are #winning so far!
Careful with that cockiness now… they might peak early!
*knock on wood* LOL… I don't wanna jinx my babies now, lol…
Whatever the height, they'll be fabulous either way. That ex-hub and I produced some handsome lil'fellas…
Watch your daughters, lol…
How big were they when they were born? I'm over here feeling sorry for your womb.
My 3 year-old was a normal-sized baby 7lbs or so…17' or so…(you never remember anything after the 1st baby, lol).
But, my 7 year-old was 8lbs .06oz…and that was 2 weeks early! They induced me so that I could avoid a cesarean. That thing was 23' long! You read that read…1 inch shy of 2 ft at birth!
Imagine what I looked like at 5'1 1/2 dragging that stomach around, lol…ridiculous, lol…
Ooooh chile! Almost two feet tall is just crazy. My babies were average height, but they were big. My boy was 8 lbs 11 oz and my girl was 9 lbs 8 oz. Dragging that belly around was a chore too so I feel your pain but I can't imagine if they we're any taller. I had a friend who had such tall babies, one broke her rib while being delivered, his foot got stuck there. Ouch!
WIM, you're probably right about us all being 5'5 by 2025. If the way we eat doesn't change, that'll probably happen. Too much estrogen and soy in our foods.
Looks like I'm in the running for shortest guy commenter on SBM! I'm a whopping 5'5.
Excellent post though. Pretty much everything was on point. The thing I must stress is not drawing attention to your height. Make youre good qualities stand out. Sell yourself just like any other time.
And for the love of all thinga holy stop calling short adult guys adorable. My first urge is to pinch you in the throat.
Nah I got you beat coming in at 5'4". Funny thing is pretty much ever woman I've dated or "dealt with" was about 5'3" to 5'8". My fiancee now is 2" taller then me. Our first date she wasn't to sure if it would work because I was shorter. But about 20 minutes into conversation I had her laughing and interested enough in my conversation she was sold. She says the "manly hands and arms" helped too lol
Lol I forgot you were that short…if you are who I thinl you are. It's ruff out here.
If how you are thinking I am is Larnel then you are correct lol
This sounds about right. As a lady that's 5'8" on paper but said to be 6'2, the first thing guys notice is the height and that it's the avg height of a guy. *shrug* what can I do? The list is right though. Guys my height and shorter usually get the "cheek pinch", but only if they really are adorable. I try not to do that. I've accepted the fact that standing up straight and being in heels will change my height & I might be taller than dude. It's not a requirement that he's taller than me when I wear heels. There are some 5 in heels out there. I don't even like being that tall. It's okay
"cuz we're the same height in bed".Great post.
A chick pinched my cheek a few months ago and I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. Like say i'm a puppy. Pinched my cheek and said "you're so cuuuuuute."
Unbelievable.
i used to prefer the 6 ft taller dudes (I'm 5'1) til I met my current dude, he's 5'8 so he's still taller than me. But the thing that attracted me to him was that he just oozes sexy because he's confident, almost to the point of being cocky, and intelligent. Brains + confidence = sexy
Well, I love shorties, my daddy was only 5'4". The hubby is about 5'10". There will always be a certain something about tall dudes, but really they're a little over rated. Gotta have something else going for you. Here's my Chick Perspective add-ons to your list Most (because I'm feeling real extra this Monday morning, lol):
1. Sing – Real convo from a few months back when I went to see some live band play.
Me: Oh my GAWD-T, is it just me or is that little n**ga sexy as hell? If I wasn't married I'd throw my draws on stage.
Friend: Girl, YES! I was just thinking the same thing. Put a hurtin' on Lil' Scooby Snack.
*cackle, cackle, sip, sip*
2. Be Un-broke – not in the "lemme trick all my cash" kind of way. Just don't ever be that dude that asks a girl out then looks confused/angry/bewildered when the check comes. Or as one tall useless dud said to me once, "Umm, what are we gone do about this?" Negro we're at Dave and Buster's and the check is $18. I don't know what you're gonna do, but I'm gonna tell your mom that you're rude on dates the very next time I see her at church.
3. Pack a Punch Where it Really Counts – There's just something about hugging a man who is your exact height….and feeling something like an anaconda brushing up against your knee…that makes a girl say, "I must investigate this further." Seriously, there's a 6'10" guy running around with a button mushroom because this short fool elbowed him out of line when they were passing out length and girth.
I agree with all of this. My dude does all of those 🙂
Damn! He sings? LUCKY 🙂
I would luv that!
Of all the women who post here frequently, I find myself agreeing with you more than any other Tef. The truth is, I had about 10 different things I wanted to add to the list but it would have been too long. But on that list would have been your #2 and #3.
Money is the great equalizer. Women will overlook a whole lot of things if they know they'll be taken care of for the rest of their lives. Also, in many ways, money and success are somehow tied to masculinity. One of the things I think women with height preferences don't like about shorter guys is that they don't seem manly. Somehow, being successful makes a man seem more like a man.
And yeah, you need to get busy in the bedroom. Ask any short dude if he'd trade the extra two inches he's been blessed with down low for an extra two inches in height and he'll tell you no 10 times out of 10 … even if he was still above average after losing those two inches down there.
The singing thing I'm not sold on. I can't stand crooning a** dudes. I think I'd like to be able to sing a little bit. Like, enough to join the brooklyn tabernacle choir, but not quite good enough for a solo. I'd want to be able to sing well enough to run through a quick rendition of one of my favorite songs. Nobody likes that guy that can sing and always wants to show you he can sing.
Awww Most – don't hate on sangin' ninjas, even Choir Boy from the Five Heartbeats was getting it in, lol! Any artistic ability will do. Por ejemplo: Lil' Wayne, the rapping roach. There's not enough swag in the world to account for the number of fine women he's impregnated. It's the money and the music. Playing an instrument or being able to paint/write works as well.
And you know we're >here< on so much stuff I wonder if you're long lost kin, lol.
"Like, enough to join the brooklyn tabernacle choir, but not quite good enough for a solo."
Most, you just won mad cool points with me on the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir mention, lol…
* hums "Only A Look" to myself *
haha – do you go there or just listen to their music?
I grew up Seventh Day Adventist…and Adventists love them some Brooklyn Tab, LOL. Like, that's dag near the only place my Youth Choir pulled material from, smh.
* hums "Cast All Your Cares" *
In the words of one of my closest friends " I can't stand no singing as ninja! In the bed trying to sleep and he's over there singing trying to be passionate and sexy…Shut up and put some bass in your voice"
Meanwhile I'm quite… thinking "he would sure sing the panties off me"
HA HA I love it!!!!!! My dad is short too ( i think he and my are the same height) and you can't tell him a damn thing!
Picking up on your #3… Even if you pack a punch – if your arm pits are on my ears and my lips can only caress your rib cage, then it just not as much fun. And yes that's specific to one position, but the scenario plays out similarly no matter the position. If there is a huge difference in size neither person can multitask with the same effectiveness that someone more your size can.
Agree 100% Mel!
As for your #3, my biggest length/girth was a 6'6 brotha. And my smallest was an ex who was my height(5'7). So, until I meet a shorty doo-wop who can prove the statistics wrong, 6'+ FTMFW! lol.
Good list though. And good post, Most. Confidence, and having a great personality will alway get you further in life, whether you're short, fat, or ugly. The key is to recognize your limitations early, and then began to develop those other areas. Basically, I agree with everything in your post.
Ideally, I prefer not to be able to see the top of my date's head when I'm in flats, but I guy my height wouldn't be so bad. As long as he's not like my ex mentioned above. lol.
Loved this post!
I am 5'1 1/2"…used to love trees and that was certainly my preference. My ex-hub is 6'3", lol. But, the older you get, the more you realize that having the right man in your life is more important than having a tall (or substitute that with any preference) man in your life. Right now, dude just needs to be taller than me and attractive…and, considering my height, most men who approach me have nothing to worry about in that area, lol…
My bf is 2 inches taller than me…quite the change, lol. It was an adjustment at first, but he's quite the replica of Most's list above. Well, maybe not exactly…I don't think he's fully accepted the fact that he's short. He doesn't joke himself or anything. But, if you ask him a "if you had one wish" type questions, his answer is always "to be taller". Plus, he's quite judgmental when it comes to other people's appearance…which, IMO, is a sign of insecurity.
I think I'll read this post to him later (these are my stomping grounds, lol, he's not invited here)…
Agree! My current bf is only an two inches taller than me (5;5), but I chose him over the other guy I was talking to (who was 6'5) for all those3 reasons. My bf makes me laugh, can hold a convo, has great style, and above all has major confidence which is a must for any guy I date. Either way, hope is not lost for the short guy! I'll take you as long as you're an inch over me!
I've dated guys 5'5 to 6'10, so height is a factor, but it's not in my top requirements. I'm 5'7, so I'm relatively tall. I'm not going to miss out on a good man because of his height, that's not wise. My only requirement is that one can pick me up cuz I'm on the thick side. If he can pick me up, I'm good to go 🙂
That brings up another point. Women associate height with strength which is a fail. One of my previous exes, I lifted her up and threw her on to a bed from across the room, and she looked shocked as sh!t that I could just lift her up.
"…I lifted her up and threw her on to a bed from across the room, and she looked shocked as sh!t that I could just lift her up."
This doesn't sound fun…this sounds dangerous, lol. Across the room, though???? LOL…
It can't be that serious…
See! a tall man would never do that. Cause I'm so much smaller he would be worried about hurting me. lol!
lol!
Well alright Dekela!
#Winning 😉
This was pretty damn funny there hombre. I think everybody with one of the natural afflictions (short, fat, or ugly) should have to work on their personalities to the utmost.
By the way, the part about not calling ugly people ugly or fat people fat but being able to call short people short is so funny, so wrong, but so true.
Here is a different angle on this short guy taller woman stuff.
Have any of you ever noticed the hate and/or envy directed towards short men who date taller women by their taller male counterparts? I have experienced enough of it to fill a book.
Liken it to the hate that comes from those opposed to interracial relationships. It seems that they (taller guys) hate the sight of a woman they would pursue giving her attention to a man shorter then her. Ive heard from the misses, past and present, comments like "Yo you really with little dude?", "What you see in dude? He short!", "You not worried about people saying something? I don't know how you deal with that". That last one being their attempt to create doubt lol.
That's so weak on those dudes part. Major man-law violation… but it's like it doesn't count to these guys because you're short. Keep pushing homey. You might just have to knock one tall dude out one day to stop all the chatter.
I honestly get a huge kick out of it. Its an ego boost.
It's always amusing to see that. I get it all the time with my 5'-11" gf. But if you're short, and she's tall and good looking, what exactly can they say? I let them talk until they actually realize they're hating and violating man law.
Dude 1: Look at that Spud Webb a$$ n!gga with that six-foot tall chick!
Dude 2: They look like Boris and Natasha! LOL!
Dude 1: Yeah. She fine as he11 though.
My husband isn't tall but some light skinned dudes have said stuff like that in relation to his dark skin. This behavior surprises me because I've been lead to believe that dudes don't compare themselves to each other physically the way women do.
You have been led to believe a lie lol. We most certainly do. Particularly if we see a dude with a female that we want and we think that we are better then that dude.
*gasp* My hubby told me that but it's cool I won't tell him you called him a liar. Your last sentence made sense though. That must've been what that dude was doing. Guess I hadn't considered that because normally light skinned dudes didn't check for me.
interesting POV
Short Men Excel… #RealTalk
I have yet to see/meet a man under 5'6 who isn't successful in his own right. My ex-husband was 1 1/2 inches shorter than me. I'm flexible in regards to height requirements but it would be nice to wear my 5 inch heels and not be able to see over dude's head once in awhile.
Yes – something about being short makes most men aggressive when it comes to getting what they want out of life…that can either be excellent or horrible depending on how they carry themselves and treat others.
All. Of. This.
So true!
My ex had a saying…"Yeah I may be short but my pockets are tall" *smhl*
Yeah, he was a lil extra with his cockiness.
It's because when you're not tall, you're used to having to work harder for everything so when everyone starts slowing down, you're still running.
Most you never said how tall you were……..
I am attracted to taller men i.e 6ft+ but My type is intelligent, well groomed, respectful, and affectionate! So I'm 5'4 3/4 and I think the shortest person I've dated was 5'8.
This is a great post – If I met more under 5'9 who matched this criteria I would be much more open.
Oh snap, you're right… I didn't say I tall I am.
Lol @ the Evasive Maneuver
As someone who's average height, I'm perfectly fine with missing out at the 12% of the women's population that are taller than me. Short girls are more fun to cuddle with regardless.
Yeah but when roughly 50% are without heels…
I've always felt that there is something so sexy about a confident short guy who's lady is taller than him!
#shortboyswag
I always thought I wanted to be with a guy over six feet but I ended up marrying a dude that's only like a half inch to an inch taller than me (he swears it's at least an inch). I tower over him in heels but it never occurred to me to not date a dude that didn't meet that height preference, seemed unfair. Women really do this? Doesn't seem like it would matter in the long run.
krystllyght: "it never occurred to me to not date a dude that didn’t meet that height preference, seemed unfair. Women really do this?"
http://www.singleblackmale.org/2010/02/26/sbm-ans…
http://www.singleblackmale.org/2010/06/16/does-he…
Yeah krystllyght … Let those links wash and condition yo dome.
Just read them. I understand where women are coming from with this but I wouldn't let something like that ruin my chance at love. To each her own I guess. My husband used to complain when I wore heels because I'd tower over him but now he says he likes it.
I like this post. Growing up, the shorter guys were always the funniest and were able to get the girls attention by doing something. I would like to say that I would date a shorter guy but I don't know, it depends.
I don't know if it's me but I don't think baggy clothes looks good on short/tall/average/regular height men.
Telly how tall are you?
I'm almost 5'9.
Gotcha! Was just trying to get a frame of reference…
"I don’t know if it’s me but I don’t think baggy clothes looks good on short/tall/average/regular height men."
Can you repeat this and say it a little louder for the men in the back of the room that may not have heard you?????? LOL
It's NOT JUST YOU!!!! *raises hands and feet*
I mean, I don't want y'all walking around in "spandex…all spandex" all the time. But, your clothes should fit. Not too tight, not too big…fit.
I agree – baggy ain't for anybody at this point.
**stands up and faces the class***
Gentlemen, baggy clothes DOES NOT look good on short/tall/average/regular height men. Your clothes should fit.
**gives cynicaloptimist81 a high five before sitting down**
1000 likes! LOL…
great post man.
honestly growing up i never wanted to be short. thankfully, the summer before my junior year i had an abnormal growth spurt where i grew almost 4 inches. the next summer i added another 2.5 inches. before that i was really short. i actually credit the growth spurt to all the frosted flakes i ate that summer.
i had my yearly physical examination last wednesday and i'm as of then i'm 6' 6 on the dot. being tall does have its drawbacks as well. finding clothes that fit. riding in the backseat of a car (like i did for 10 hours last night) or in the window seat of an airplane is torture on your knees. also, everyone thinks that you're automatically supposed to be attracted to the tallest girl in the room. just because she's tall doesn't mean she's attractive.
i do agree with you though. no matter your height you should work on developing yourself. sometimes i am also self conscious about my height in combination with my weight so i also try to make myself more interesting in other ways.
lol @ crediting frosted flakes. Whenever we question why the heck the baby of the family is damn near the tallest (he's closing in on Pops), he says it's cuz he was eating his beans unlike us slackers. He was eating FF at some point as well. I think I'm gonna raise my kids on beans & Frosties.
Don't believe the hype … All we had was Frosted Flakes in the crib when growing up … Eff you 6 foot azz dudes.
lol I know, I ate 'em too. Although, I'm supposedly tall, myself.
Random aside, the cereal is weaksauce compared to the generic brand that I mess with nowadays. More crunch for daaaaaaaaaaays.
you a lie. frosted flakes are the sh*t. stop hating. i was eating it damn near for breakfast, lunch and dinner that summer.
Chill. I will not allow Frosted Flakes Slander on this blog. I will delete any further comments pertaining to Anthony D. Tiger and the porduct he promotes!
lmao, I didn't even peep you guys' comments til now. Nah, hombres.. I squeeze my nose at my brother's bowl everytime he brings out that ish that turns soggy in 1.2 seconds. I got frustrated with that mess years ago, and I don't plan to ever get back on that bandwagon.
ohhhh 6'6 on the dot?? how you doing??? LMAO
Not to be funny, but yo azz looks like a creature off Avatar in that avi or Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars. You gotta be every bit of 6 feet. By the way, what is that on your head? Or is that blond hair?
Tof5 iQuit you, that is clearly a sun hat! I wish I could borrow a few inches of leg though…
*TeamStump
Yo, Top5DOA has mad jokes today. Son look like Mr. Cheeks from LB Fam tho…
Shout out to the JEEEEPSSS!
#ShotsTaken
Mr. Cheeks tho?!?!? Meh….
OMG!!! I thought the same thing when that new avi was added! Mr. Cheeks!!!
lol i'm well.
This is funny because I always imagined you as a tall dude who walks like Obama.
Haha, this is funny. Nah yo…
"They said I couldn't play football I was too small, said I couldn't play basketball, I wasn't tall, they said I couldn't play baseball at all… now everyday of my life… I ball…"
~Weezy
And even after this post, I'm probably still going to think of you that way. The way you use words makes you seem tall. Doubt that makes any sense but it's true.
None…no sense at all. lol.
Mayne, I know! *shoots self in foot*
Krys don't listen to Larry! It makes total sense… If you're in NYC, we'll be having a happy hour in the next couple weeks and you'll be able to put a name – and height – to the letters.
Most that would be so fun but I'm in Indianapolis. 🙁
Listen man, the words you would have to use for that to make sense would make you 8 feet tall by her logic, homie. lol. #NoShots 🙂
You can say no shots but why did I still feel them? That's alright though Larry. *gives Larry the stink eye*
I'm about 5'8, and the first guy I liked in my HS days is 5'9. As far as preference is concerned, I think that's my minimum. In terms of who I've actually dated afterwards, it's ranged between 6'1-6'4, with 6'1 & a bit being my favorite. I've considered some guys a bit shorter than me, but it hasn't happened for reasons other than their height. Someone mentioned strength. 6'3 or not, there's definitely something sexy about a man being able to lift me up as though I were a bag of feathers. I (think I) can be partially fluid on height – I belong to the 6'+ in heels & often crowd – but only to a certain extent. I don't think I could date someone shorter than 5'6, and like I said, my preferred minimum is still 1" taller than me.
Yeah strength is a big deal. I'd like being picked up myself. That plays into my wanting to feel small and dainty issue. Seems like it would be easier for a tall dude. As if tall = strong. Seems like a natural assumption people make but can't be all the way true.
Definitely isn't. The elder of my two brothers is the strong one, while the younger, taller one does not have much upper body strength to speak of. I love him and all, but I remember asking him for some support some months ago when I was in a really rough area with some high ass heels (I had no idea it would be that bad), and I was almost no better off than when I was struggling by myself. I couldn't help but wish the other one hadn't been left behind because he was ill.
I dont ever think I'll underatand how a man being taller than you makes a woman feel like a lady. It makes no sense. A woman being prissy our whatever doesn't make me feel more manly.
#napoleancomplexrage
well it isn't necessarily that it makes you feel like a lady. But you know how those toppers on wedding cakes the groom is always taller than the bride? It seems like one of those things that is just supposed to be. I tell people all the time I will date a short dude but I can't marry him…what would my wedding pictures look like? Or is he gonna stand on a step everytime we pose for photos?
Thats shallow as heck…true, but shallow.
Lol! I have a friend who was dating a chick taller than him. Dude is on super short mode, been the same height since I met him in sixth grade. Anyway, he was telling me to look at pics from a trip of theirs. In every pic, it looked like she was squatting down to his height. Just looked crazy. And unlady like in certain outfits. Smh.
I understand how important it is to look right in your wedding pics. Maybe you can sit on the pew and have him stand behind you. Lol. Idk if that'll work either. Your photographer should get creative if you do end up marrying a shorter dude.
In my high school homecoming pics, I asked the photographer if my feet would show, she said no, she'd cut them off. I took my shoes off in an attempt to not look taller than my husband. That heifer didn't do what she said and I'm just looking like a country bamma in that pic now!
Girl they used to make my dad stand on a box for the annual family photos at Sears. The clowning was merciless.
Everyone has a right to their own opinions/preferences and all that. And I respect it all but this right here "I will date a short dude but I can’t marry him" is just f**ked up. You have every right to not want to marry a short dude but I have to ask, why waste his time or your own? Just to, at some point, say, "Well its been fun but I think this ride has come to the end. Relationship aint going in further then this"?
“I will date a short dude but I can’t marry him” is just f**ked up.
God, why does this sound so familiar…
It's not about being prissy. Him being taller makes me feel like I'm the small, cute one or like he could just pick me up without me having to count to three and then running and jumping. Like he could pick me up all on his own effort.
Wtf is up with being picked up being the only reason being used lol. Honestly if you are a woman that is 5'8 or taller you are not small when it comes to height. We have to accept our height, you should do the same! All this short girl envy is funny to me.
If you read her earlier post, she ended up with someone less than an inch taller than her, so she didn't exactly let her preference dictate her love life. She also stated she didn't feel it would matter in the long run. Nonetheless, it's her general sentiment, and we all feel some way or the other about preferences that may seem unjustifiable to others.
lol Then again, I guess .5" is still "taller" for the sake of argument.
It's ridiculous I know and maybe I do have short chick envy. I truly believe I was meant to be shorter. I'm 5'6 but my legs are still really short. Anyway, you ever see a movie in which the dude picks up a chick and flings her over his shoulder and carries her or is carrying her in his arms over the threshold of their new home or a couple is reunited at the airport, she runs into his arms and he grabs her tightly and spins around? That's just romantic and fun. It would lose all effectiveness if he did that and her feet were still dragging on the floor. Plus if he can pick me up, there's a better chance for stand up chex or up against the wall chex.
Like it's been mentioned in other comments height does not equal strength. I can do all of those fun things. Lol
Yeah I know but my feet would still be dragging though because even though you're strong you're not tall enough to keep my feet up off the ground. #noshotsfired
See Krys, I'd never run a pick you up and swing you around at the airport, not because I couldn't but because that's just not my style. I'm more apt to give you the head not and dap it up like "welcome home."
"It would lose all effectiveness if he did that and her feet were still dragging on the floor."
*Dead and Gone at that mental image*
Krystllyght — girl you crazy.. BUT I understand
lmbooooo
Lol @Most, not the nod and dap! Mayne, I'd need a warmer welcome than that. At least a chest bump or something!
Oh, and ladies, remember how pissed some of you get when you dont fit into some guys' superficial preference while you are saying you have a superficial preference
I think it's safe to say that men on average have more superficial preferences, so a lot of women feel as though they have the right to a few of their own. As far as I'm concerned, to each his or her own. We can't be everyone's cup of tea, nor they, ours.
We have absolutely zero control over the superficial preferences women have for us though.
True, my bad. I, on the other hand, simply neglected to tick the right boxes under the categories of shade of skin, boob & ass size, etc.
@Naija
Tell em! LOL!
Skin? Nope. You can change/enhance/improve your bust and bum though through dieting and exercise or if you want to be extreme surgery or pregnancy.
Of course, I was waiting for you to counter with those points. Whatever diets can enhance bust size will not make any dramatic difference, and some of them will increase a woman's overall size. I'm not about to gain weight for the sake of some breasts, nor am I about to bring a child into this world for the sake of meeting some guy's preference. Let's forget about hollywood and some glamourized stories for a second and think about the percentage of average population of women who are able to afford or willing to undergo surgery for bigger breasts and bum. Let's not even bring up the potential complications involved. These options are not realistic for the average woman. We're not talking about cutting out pop from your diet and going to the gym 3 times a week. I see women's asses getting more firm and gaining some definition, but I've never seen a woman go from having a long back to filling up her jeans after embarking on a special regimen.
@ Malik shallow…shallow…shallow…
Still haven't learned the lesson huh?
Extreme Surgery? GTFOH!
*Although, your right a woman can do all that, but you would still be too short for her… smdh
I don't think he's particularly superficial; he was just saying that surgery is at the extreme end of things that can be done. And while I do understand what he's trying to get at, the fact that these means exist doesn't mean that we're overall at an advantage if it's not exactly a viable option for most.
There are options is what the point was though. Not about how realistic they are to achieve. Guys don't have any. I have no idea why you're getting offended. Life isn't fair, no need to pretend that we're in anyway equal in hyperbolic expectations. The majority of guys isn't going to not date a woman just because she doesn't have back problems because of her chest or she doesn't have *insert whatever black guys think is the most desired booty at the moment*.
lol @ Soul06. I know guys who would say ish like that regardless, just because it's exactly how they feel. A lot of statements are made that don't quite hit that extreme, but if you dissect them at the end of the day, it all boils down to the same thing.
Pardon the wrong placement of comment.
@Naija,
There are always natural ways to enhance your body. If your issue is you dont feel like doing it, then so be it. I think that should be said
I think the super ficial preferences of men & women are equal. Women just swindle us into thinking otherwise. Shyt, look at these comments on not so tall dudes!
Women can just get away with saying things that men never could.
Like what InsomniaPoet said, "I could date a short dude but I could never marry him". Imagine a guy saying, "I could date a [whatever type of] female but I would never marry one". No matter what our preference is or isnt we could never get a statement like that to fly. Women would air out any dude who even thought to say that.
Picture it:
I could date a darkskin female but I would never marry one
I could date a chubby female but I would never marry one
I could date a black woman but I would never marry one
I could date a woman with natural hair but I would never marry one
Bullet holes if I tried to spit any of those.
@soul06
Your "picture it" points would def bring a brotha some heat, LOL…
'specially since I fell into the 3rd and 4th category! LOL… #whatdididotodeservethis
Bullet holes, indeed…
Don't worry, I got Captain Americas shield and the Iron Man suit for protection. Hulk is on call and Deadpool is on standby with Cable as a last resort. No short man will be lost today!
Streetz, how much of a difference is the natural enhancement going to make? How many cases have you seen of an A cup working her way up to a C or above (without gaining 50lbs additional)? I've personally come to terms with most of my perceived physical shortcomings, so I'm not trippin' off any guy's preferences. I get my sexy on whether or not I appeal to x,y & z.
@ Malik: Alright, so I'd now like a list of things besides height that women place importance on but that men have no control over, if you would be so kind as to indulge me. I hear women talking about guys with muscles and big penes, and there are enhancements even for the latter (supposedly). And I hope the "offended" comment was directed at "Oh Ok," and not me. It ain't that serious.
I remember my brother's girlfriend telling me something to the effect of, "I couldn't date a guy like you because you're too short." My immediate reaction was to say, "I couldn't date a woman like you because you're too fat and your hair is too short". If this was some random female, I would have, but this was my brother's girlfriend, so I let it slide.
I be knowing! LOL
As a man when women say something about preference we are expected to just eat it and move on. The reverse however……with y'all we had better select or words carefully.
Example, I need a woman to be a D-cup or better AND/OR have a 38" a** or bigger. Missing both criteria and you are a fun snack but not what I'm ordering for my entree….ya feel me. Of course I could never just out and say something like that without taking MAJOR heat.
"I could date a darkskin female but I would never marry one"
Too bad it's said all the time in reference to white chicks…
And even further than that, "I'd eff her but I wouldn't date her" is said, oh, every minute of every day – what else is FWB/JO/No Strings Attached/F@ck Buddies/Whatever else cutesy name they've developed to cloak the disgusting idea of using another person for chex…?
But that's ok because you're only using a person for meaningless chex, not money…that makes things way better. Sex never causes emotional damage like losing money does. #Sarcasm
I hit a nerve some where huh? LOL
And yes all those things are said BUT how do you ladies react to them? Do y'all not get angry or verbally lash out at the dude?
Your response is a prime example of how comments like that not only ruffle the feathers but enrage the whole damn bird. But when women say things like that towards men its supposed to fly easy
They're making people taller over in China. It's a radical surgery but some are saying it's worth it for a few extra inches.
#HereYouGo @Star!
Great post, sir. Once I accepted the fact that I was short, it became easier to develop other aspects of my personality and recognize that feeling sorry for yourself is a waste of time. Life isn't fair, but you still gotta live it.
"So fellas, especially those of you under 5’9” – do you think your height has had a positive or negative impact on your life – particularly your love life."
I think the only times that it has negatively affected my love life is when I allowed it to. Being self-conscious about my height or doubting myself because of I had perceived my shortness to be a handicap that I couldn't overcome.
Hee hee! Loved the post! Probably explains why my longest relationships have been with shorter men. Always did prefer brains over brawn!
lol That kinda makes it sound as though tall guys don't have much working for them outside of their height.
*reads various NBA players' Twitter accounts*
Yeah, bunch of Rhodes Scholar candidates in there. ;p
lol, hush. I'm tryna stand up for the tall brothas in the house. My three tallies (dating-wise) are currently Law student, PhD student & Chemical Engineer, respectively. There are a lot of silly short men around, too, ya know. =P
This is true…there's a study that shows many male CEO's are well above averaged height. I know that doesn't make them Einstein, but it also doesn't make them a push over intellectually, either. Plenty of rapper's/singer's aren't the brightest and are known for being short.
Great post.
I always appreciated the not so taller dfudes who had the confidence and Le swag to compete in this world. My cousin LOVES taller women! Hes like 5ft 6. The most confidence I ever saw. I wont front, I used to be intimidated by women who were taller than me, but taking from points in this post, you get over that
All right, who's on "remove comments from moderation purgatory" duty today?
I got you Hugh… fell asleep at the wheel… my bad.
@Hugh Jazz
"I remember my brother’s girlfriend telling me something to the effect of, “I couldn’t date a guy like you because you’re too short.” My immediate reaction was to say, “I couldn’t date a woman like you because you’re too fat and your hair is too short”. If this was some random female, I would have, but this was my brother’s girlfriend, so I let it slide."
*****VIOLENT LAUGHTER***
The only thing that really bugs me about short men is when they are self conscious about being short. Outside of that I really, truly hardly notice. Maybe it's because I'm short, maybe it's because the men in my family are short, but no love is lost from me with short men.
There is something to be said about masculinity being equated with height though, I do need for my man to feel very "manly". I haven't had any trouble finding that in short men, but when a man already isn't "manly" AND he's short, it's certainly exacerbated -same thing could be said of super slim men though.
5'10" isn't short – it's perfection.
"5’10″ isn’t short – it’s perfection."
😀
5’10″ isn’t short – it’s perfection.
I love it…. That is the name of my production company, 5 Foot 10 Productions…. YEESSS!!!!
I rarely post and will probably be blasted for this but I prefer the men I date to be over six feet tall. Before you give the side eye, I am over 6 feet barefoot. I love wearing heels and doing so with a man in the 5'+ club feels awkward to me. I attempted to lower my "standard" last summer but that failed miserably. I know I may be missing out but I have yet to meet a shorty with the characteristics you've outlined above.
SuperShy – your preferences are welcomed here… there's absolutely nothing wrong with you preferring a man over 6 feet, especially since you're over 6 feet. No need to lower your standards, especially if you're finding the success you desire. Thanks for commenting, come again… don't be shy… oh wait…
Lol. Thanks Most!
I'm in the thick of that which they call the South. Forgive me for not being able to respond until just now.
I'm not tall, i'm not short, i'm average. I guess one day my feet stopped growing and I realized that I was done. It didn't really hit me like a ton of bricks. It was just a quick decision to stop buying shoes a half size bigger than my current, because I wasn't going to grow into them.
I've got some friends who aren't that tall and it's really in how they carry themselves. Do they overcompensate in other factors of their life because they're not tall? If so, then it stands out that they are short. Or do they just carry on being comfortable in their own skin and keeping it pushing? If so, it doesn't even matter.
I've dated women shorter than me and taller than me. I don't really have a preference, I tend to just like beautiful women.
Dr.J
I dated an WNBA player for a couple of months and it was really cool being seen with a 6'4 super beauty… I'm 5'10 and she is 6'4. Because of our busy schedule we decided to put dating off… It was my first time dating a woman taller than me and I felt really comfortable being with her… she was cool with my height and all… I have to honestly say height really doesn't matter…
How tall are you and how big are your feet? Didn't hit you like a ton of bricks huh? How old were you when you stopped growing? My husband used to say he was insecure with his height because his feet are so big. He's around 5'7 but wears a 13 in shoes. He's says he's over it now but I think it still bugs him when shoe shopping.
Height is a very important attribute to me in a man. For some reason I was brainwashed into believing the man should be taller than me. Well maybe it is because I am super tall for a woman. But how could I not be considering that my mom is just shy of 5'10 and my dad is over 6'6. The shortest guy I have dated was 6'2. I am 5'11 with flats. For me height is a priority. I guess I never felt feminine so I tried to get taller guys to make myself seem more feminine and girly.
It's all about confidence guys! I'm 5'8 and I've dated women who ranged from 5'0 to 5'10 and in order to do that, you have to be sure of yourself. Keep in mind there is a difference between confidence and cocky. Yeah, you are going to get some rejection from those sisters who look for the 6'0 and up brothers, but you can't give up. Like the article says, be interesting, make a woman want to be with you.
If a man is in shape than his height doesn't matter so much. I generally don't date a man shorter than I am but same height is fine. Petite guys aren't usually my type.
Guys guys guys.
I agree, I take it to grow assets etc. Etc. and he does say the truth about the home and away 'game' – cold hard fact, women want to have better genes passed on, that's what the truth is; in general, anyway…
You can also get that height once you grow your assets, ever heard of LL surgery? Go google MMT community and you'll see what it is, guy from I think under 5'9 became to a person vertically 6'2+
This is all nonsense. I'm 5'8", won two tough man shows in my youth, and have taken girls off guys plenty taller than me. Handsome beats height every time and so does strength. A real tall guy, 6'3 or 6'4 can look like a goon in a club because he's way outside the norm. Plus, they're frequently cowards because they've never had to prove it in the parking lot, whereas a regular size man has to do that all his life. One of my favorite things used to be punching out tall guys. See what a woman thinks of him when he laid out and bloody…ain't to tall then, is he? Most of these guys are cowards hoping to get by on their height. You can make a ass out of them if you've got the guts. Call their bluff and most will back down. Height is overrated. You think tall guys never get blown off by woman? You think tall married guys never have wives who have affairs with guys that are shorter and end up leaving the tall guy to be with the shorter one? After years together, you don't think that the superficial "tall thing" doesn't wear off? Handsome and confident beats a guy who thinks he can get by on just his height every time.