There’s a word that floats around the internet to describe sites like SingleBlackMale, VerySmartBros, This Is Your Conscience and Until I Get Married; we don’t have to say that word here. We all know it, and each of us would be lying to say, “I have no clue what you’re talking about.” I’m not Sallie Mae, you don’t have to act like you have no clue why I’m calling. Let’s talk facts, most blogs on the internet are written by women. That’s because most of the readership on the Internet is women. Most demographics of any of the sex & relationship blog sites will show that about 70% of its readers are women. This is pretty much an industry standard, not just SBM or NWSO, that’s across the board. There are a few reasons for that too. Face the facts, women are marginalized in society and no one really cares what they have to say in public. As far as we’ve come as a society most people still believe that women should be seen, not heard. Women flee to blogs — their personal soundboard for their thoughts without being interrupted by some man. The next question is, “Well if that’s the case, then how come nobody is reading them?” That’s simple, no one cares. Why? Women are more concerned with men than other women, and topics drive traffic. What I mean by “topics drive traffic,” is sex sells, but if it’s a man selling sex it’s “natural” if it’s a woman selling sex, “oh she a hoe.” But even hoes get more attention than your regular female blogger.
So how do some popular female bloggers who aren’t interested in talking about sex keep large readerships entertained? If you asked me, it seems as though they are constantly bringing men down, also known as blanketed hate for men, or Misandry. And let me qualify that statement by saying, they bring all men down. It’s never, “Ten Ways to Identify A Successful Man,” it’s always, “Ten Signs That Men Will Never Get.” Personally, I can let a post about a certain type of man rock out because I know that man has nothing in common with me, and it’s not condemning all men, which means there’s still love for men, just not that man. I am sure that most of my male counterparts are always very careful to make sure that they get across to their readers that they are talking about a certain type of female, and not bashing all women. I’ll be honest with you, there’s a reason I know this to be a fact; because every man knows that you cannot simply go around bashing women and get away with it. I’ve titled it, the Domestic Violence Effect, men can never attack women, but when a woman does it, the man should grow thicker skin and never, under any circumstances, respond to an attack with a counterattack. But, knowing how much it hurts when you read an article that seems like it bashes women like you, it baffles me when I read an article written by a woman that resembles what a wild bronco would look like in a small bar filled with men.
So with all that said, I’ve picked out a few signs of Misandry that stand out to me:
1) If you’ve made a conscious decision to stop dating Black men, or men altogether for that reason, continuing to critique and bash them is asinine.
I follow a few female writers on Twitter. I have read their articles and some times I’ve enjoyed them. At one point, I started to realize all their articles were either bashing men or blindly defending women in the face of malfeasance. As I continued to follow these female writers, I noticed one day that one of them is a lesbian, and then the other, and then the other, and so on and so forth. I found an alarming amount of women who spend most of their time on the internet bashing men were lesbians, “bisexual”, or single and not looking. I wanted to comment on one of their posts once and say, “If you’ve decided that you never want to date another Black man again in your life, why do you insist on bashing them every chance you get?” I can’t respect a woman who isn’t even interested in dating a Black man continuing to complain for no reason except to stand on a soapbox and be heard.
2) In fact, the truest form of Misandry in women is the blind defense of women in the face of malfeasance.
If I was able to go back and read some of the comments from posts I’ve read around the internet that described a certain type of ratchet or foolish woman, you’d be sure that you can count on a few female readers who always have a counter theory. Just last week, we’re talking about a girl who was talking to a guy and then that guy moved on and she got pregnant by a dude with a girl. Women defended her like it was Whitney Houston after she called Bobby Brown the King of R&B. I even read a comment that said, “This is all his fault he should have made up his mind.” I’m sorry, but how is his indecisiveness and her bad decision to have unprotected sex related? I think we all need to get this through our heads, “No one can make you do anything you don’t want to do.” But that didn’t stop many women from coming up with twisted theories on how this is actually his fault. But this ain’t new.
A chick is a hoe. It’s her daddy fault.
A chick is a cheater. It’s her boyfriend/husband fault.
A chick is a liar. It’s because men can’t handle the truth, they’re too sensitive.
A chick gets laid off. It’s because of the good old boys club.
A chick gets in a car accident. It’s because the roads were designed by men.
3) In order to skirt the issue away from their Misandry, women will often attempt to use words like, “male privilege” and “ignorance.”
Have you ever heard a woman insult a man and then try and say she’s not hating or attacking him, just pointing out “male privilege?” If I say, “Possibly the only reason why she even got that job was because she was a woman and they needed to meet a quota,” — I’m that word we agreed not to say today. But if she says, “The only reason why you kept your job and I lost mine is because of male privilege,” — she’s got a point. By the same token, “I typically only date men who are 6 feet and above” is a preference. “I typically only date light skin women” is ignorance. It’s a double standard, but we’re saying the same thing. I think Malcolm said it best, “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” It’s not fair to hide behind key phrases and hot terms. It’s not cool for me to say, “You don’t get it because you’re a chick” and if that’s the case then it’s not fair when the shoe is on the other foot. If you’re going to bash a man, don’t hide behind the excuse that you’re merely pointing out “male privilege” or “ignorance,” own up to it.
Misandry is the hatred or dislike of men. Many women don’t think they qualify, mainly because they love men and desire to be with them. I have always said, “in order to hate someone, you have to love them.” Therefore, just because you love men doesn’t excuse you from being able to hate them. In fact, when a woman argues that she could never hate men, that in fact, she’s the exact opposite that she loves men so much, tell her; “The opposite of hate is indifference.” If she didn’t hate them then she’d be indifferent, but her passion and the fact that she cares makes it likely that she will love and hate men at some point during her life, depending on the circumstances. The only thing women have to learn to do is to admit it. Admitting that they too themselves are guilty of the very thing they accuse men of everyday is the first step in finding common ground.