Home Featured Wrappin’ It Up

Wrappin’ It Up

"Whaddya mean you're not in the mood now?"


I know her hair isn’t wrapped but I couldn’t resist…

The following conversation takes place between 11:47pm and 11:49pm:

M’Likshawnquan: You gonna take that thing off?

Jane: Damn baby, you getting straight the point tonight, huh?  ::Starts taking shirt off::

M’Likshawnquan: Not the shirt…well actually keep taking the shirt off…I was talkin’ about that scarf.  You in a dream gang or something?

Jane: Not.funny.  Look, I just paid Valencia $85 to relax this sh*t.  You lucky I don’t like sleepin’ with rollers.

M’Likshawnquan: I hear you, but it’s not exactly the sexiest thing in the world.

Jane: Deal with it.

M’Likshawnquan: I gotta grab a beer.  Be right back…

Maybe it’s a good thing I couldn’t find a picture of a woman adorned in a head scarf  because I’m sure there are some cats out there that have nightmares about them.  I’m sure at some point in a relationship, women have found themselves in lengthy discussions with their SO’s about them wrapping their hair at night.  You can explain ’til you’re blue in the face that the small effort of wrapping your hair keeps it looking fabulous and manageable, enabling him to run his fingers through it at his leisure.  (If he can, that is…)  Some men are adamant about not wanting to have their SO comin’ to bed lookin’ like an extra from Set It Off.  The benefits that come from her wrapping her hair usually are of no concern to him.

See Also:  Do Men Really Want Their Women With Six-Pack Abs?

The funny thing about the hair wrap beef is that it’s one of those things you don’t find out about until you’ve beat invested a significant amount of time with said woman.  When things first started and you were getting kicked out after she got her nut weren’t comfortable spending the night, you never really witnessed the hair wrapping saga.  Then you finally started spending the night and she comes up out the bathroom looking like somebody’s aunt.

Ugly head wraps, on the other hand, can definitely be a problem.  Your SO may be fine with the idea of a head wrap, but not so thrilled that it looks like his grandmother’s wallpaper.  Like any other unflattering piece of apparel, it’s simply going to be a turn off.  Fuchsia leopard print is a bad idea for pajamas, slippers and head wraps alike.  Knowing that some men may take issue with the idea of you wearing a head wrap to bed, don’t add fuel to the fire by wearing something ghastly.

As far as I’m concerned, wraps are fine.  No pain, no gain right?  The popular argument against the wrap is that it’s not the sexiest look in bed, but I would hope it take a lot more than a head wrap to send the mood south.  She’s naked for God’s sake! How does that not over shadow the head wrap situation? If it helps, keep in mind that it keeps her hair from flying all over the place while she’s sleeping and waking you up (For all you cuddlers out there).  Don’t panic…it’ll be ok.  There are alot worse things she could to bed wearing.

See Also:  We Made Love at Midnight: My 10 Favorite Artists from BET's Midnight Love

Wrap or no wrap?  What say ye?

Whether it’s wrapped up or let down it’s getting sweated out,



  1. It seems to me like scarfs in bed in a necessary evil… When I had braids, I HAD to wear a Du-Rag to bed… Or my hair would go south FAST…

    Do any White Women sleep with hair wraps (& you could have found a younger cuter white woman with her hair done up like that, that women up top is "serial killer, put arsenic in your food & I'll get away with it" creepy)

    But I think less of any woman who can't find the time to make their hair look decent… And end up scarfing it up in public…

    he funny thing about the hair wrap beef is that it’s one of those things you don’t find out about until you’ve beat invested a significant amount of time with said woman.

    Huge point… And my mentor Tom Leykis made a point about how "Women Use Sex As a Loss Leader" and how women will pull all the stops on getting a commitment (Great S.e.x., Attitude Under Wraps) & then once she gets what she wants from you, all the good lovin' STOPS & the unattractive truth comes out, but then, you are stuck!

    So,Adonis being Adonis, I like to put the important stuff out in the open as soon as possible, for time efficient purposes… I want to know all the nooks & crannies before I spend more than a week investing my time in any particular woman…

    And then of course, I set the terms on how the relationship should be ran, and operate from there…


  2. The benefits that come from her wrapping her hair usually are of no concern to him.

    …until she decides not to wrap her hair and you wake up next to someone that looks like who shot john and forgot to kill him (especially after a night of wild animal kingdom-type $exin).

    Personally, if there was $exin to be had, then i'd wrap my hair up after or snatch it off during if it were a surprise (since im down with the hair pullin and everything). And all my "in the bed" head wraps are solid colors, mostly black or blue

    1. "…until she decides not to wrap her hair and you wake up next to someone that looks like who shot john and forgot to kill him (especially after a night of wild animal kingdom-type $exin)."

      Maybe all women that need to wrap their hair should do this just once. After that he will be handing you that " Fuchsia leopard print" wrap

      "Babe…. aint you gonna put this on?"

  3. And that is why I say "free yourself"! I have no patience for headwraps or anything else tied to my head. Gave up that "narcotic" years ago!

    1. I pray you have the appropriate pillow case at all times and every where you sleep! The wrong fabric will tear our hair apart regardless of its state – relaxed or natural

    2. Girl… I'm with you on that!

      I'm glad I don't have to wrap my hair up anymore since I went natural. I used to hate waking up in the morning, after my scarf had fallen off and my hair was all over the place.

      I have a satin bonnet but that never stays on, so I gave up on that too. I just sleep on a satin pillowcase now.

      1. I hate them satin pillowcases or sheets … i don't have pedicured or manicured hands/feet, so that velcro sound/feeling on my ish irritates the hell out of me and i keep myself extremely well maintained w/o being on some Metro-sexual salon type stuff.

        1. Lol!

          I don't sleep on satin sheets. Just a pillow case for MY pillow… 🙂

  4. My ex never complained about it. And I like the way he handled it. In the heat of the moment, just slide that sucker off. No harm no foul. After the session, if I can move (hopefully not) I'll put it back on, or grab my handy backup Bonnet. 😉

    But again men, we do it for you. You want a fly woman on your arm right?

    1. Bless You @Tonya

      But again men, we do it for you. You want a fly woman on your arm right?

      That is the kind of attitude I like… That is how women go places in life…

  5. I have no problem with the wrap/scarf (her's is leopard print btw), its the bonnet I dont like. I never complained about it tho bc I know its purpose, and my girl can wear anything and still be bad as a muthaf…! But when were getting it in and I want it to come off, I take it off. Simple as that. But the scarf and bonnet (yea she wear both at night) doesn't over stay its welcome so its cool. She hates durags tho so we have a mutual agreement with the nighttime headwear.

  6. I don't put it on until I am going directly to sleep. I don't walk to the bed with it on. Never been a problem unless he is a sweater and then we may have to review it. Ew dripping sweat by my face, ew.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate,


  7. I'm from the Whitley Gilbert-Wayne school of never letting a man see my coiffure. If I must wrap my hair (which I absolutely hate doing), I wait til he's asleep to do it and make sure I'm up before he his to take it off so he never sees it. Necessary evil though it may be, that sh!t is not sexy.

      1. @Top5DOA

        it’s rough out here yes it is…

        When I dislike, I make it known… Anonymity is a little BS to me… But I don't understand what Max said that inspired 4 dislikes…

        Anytime a woman or man goes the distance for an attractive mate of the opposite se.x, it needs to be celebrated, not discouraged…


        1. Exactly … i feel as tho dislikes should be followed by a dissenting comment … Just to hash things out … it only makes sense.

          "Anytime a woman or man goes the distance for an attractive mate of the opposite se.x, it needs to be celebrated, not discouraged…"


          I guess alot of people are looking at how things are expressed these days rather than what is said. Dr. J caught some heat, you always catch heat, and now Max. I embrace the dislikes, but i would like to see the opposing view also.

        2. @top5DOA

          The likes & dislikes are a good temerature of who is reading your comments…

          I don't know how big the lurking ommunity is, but I always want to know how they are feeling…

          I just have to be comfortable with unreasonable <DEL> women </DEL> people…

        3. The problem with Max statement is not that she wants to go above and beyond for her man its that she messing things up for everone (read women).

          I'll put it like this… Its like the homeboy you have that buys flowers ALL the time, takes his woman to ALL the chick flicks, listens to her talk about her day while rubbing her feet EVERYday and ___insert other sweet gestures____. Basically he's the perfect boyfriend (messing up the game) that will have your girlfriends wondering why you dont ______.

          I dont even need to wrap my hair (nappturality!) and I disliked!

        4. @Kema

          Good point… I don't buy it, but it can make sense…

          Any Anecdotes… ?

          Can u imagine a guy complaining to his chick about what another chick does for her man…

        1. @MadScientist7

          I can only speculate that there are women out there who are so against the idea of pleasing a man… #Misandry

          If I am wrong, I am happy to hear any alternate theories…

          I don't find Max to be a polarizing figure….

        2. If I disliked it, it'd have to be because it seems fake. Sorta like women who wake up early to put make up on and then get back into bed.

    1. Don't tell em….I remember what what said on Good Hair about black men not being able to touch our hair. It made me feel sad for us that we are so caught up in looking good that we miss out.

      I can't imagine not allowing my man to touch my hair..who does that in real life?

      1. @ Beef Bacon lol I don't know. I love to feel a man's fingers running through my hair or lightly brushing it off my face. Makes my scalp tingle 🙂

        1. I love having my hair touched too. It's such a turn on for me but he always seems to forget that.

        2. Really? I thought playing with hair was an irritant. Nice to know I haven't been bothering women with my relentless need to run my hand through their hair.

        3. I can't speak for every woman. Different strokes but it's great for me. I think some chicks don't like it because they don't want you to mess it up.

        4. @Malik, I think that rule applies for women who don't want you messing their hair up. I don't care one way or another if mine gets messed up. It's just hair.

    2. I'm like you. I hate wrapping my hair so I normally just don't do it. Even when a guy tells me he doesn't care about seeing me wearing a head scarf, I know I don't want HIM (or any other non- relative/homegirl) to see me wearing one.

    3. @Max I'm like you. I hate wrapping my hair so I normally just don't do it. Even when a guy tells me he doesn't care about seeing me wearing a head scarf, I know I don't want HIM (or any other non- relative/homegirl) to see me wearing one.

        1. @top5yeah that's pretty much true!

          I don't know about very one else but my hair doesn't look that effed up without the scarf so its realy not super serious, and the scarf makes me hot with all that activity.

    4. "I wait til he’s asleep to do it and make sure I’m up before he his to take it off so he never sees it."

      honestly, I would prefer him not to see the hair wrap either. But that's just doing too much, especially if we're living together. Eventually the hair wrap will come out. I be damn if I'm lying awake waitin on him to go to sleep, or half sleeping, nodding trying not to fall alseep, so I can sneak and put on my head gear, or waking up earlier than I have to. Nope. He can live with it or not. Or pay for my hair to get didid lol..

    5. I like what you said here Max. I thumbed it up but I have fat fingers, maybe I accidentally hit the thumbs down. Idk but if I did, my bad. Maybe there are other folks here with fat fingers as well. *shrugs*

      Anyway, I admire your dedication to maintaining some mystery in your relationships. It's a lost art I tell ya. #OldSchool. I know some women who have been married for twenty-thirty years and their husbands have never seem them without makeup or with stubble on their legs. I admire what you've said here though I don't aspire to it.

      1. If someone's going 20 years wearing make up, and their husband have not yet once seen them without it, he's not really loving the real you. That's just absurd to me. mean looks doesn't make the person. But it does if you get all made up. I mean, I know I look different when I get all dolled up compared to my lil ole plain self without make up. But I'd rather any man I'm with love the real me, than to have to put on this persona everyday of this fake barbie doll. Sure if you do it all the time, maybe he will expect it all THE time. What are you hiding though? There's really no REAL mystery. I mean I'm sure he can see you are wearing make up. He's probably more curious to see who he really married, if nothing else. But I mean if he's not complaining, that's cool, to each his own. I would just rather be me, the real me. If you want the 10 from head to toe ring and all, well I'm not that, all the damn time. Who has time for that? Then I guess you ain't for me either. *shrugs*

        1. I don't do it but I can't hate on those who do. I congratulate them. They hold their husband's opinion of them in high regard, nothing wrong with that.

        2. No, there's nothing wrong with holding your husband in high regard, but it is something wrong with you low self-esteem if you go the rest of your life trying to please somebody else to make you feel good. heck naw. Now there's nothing wrong with wanting to look your best all the time if your'e doing it for you. But for somebody else… nope.

        3. Besides, all that make-up and head wrap business (ALL THE TIME) would make a shower together kinda difficult. And she better wash her face!!!

          "Wait, you expect me to actually kiss you now?" *scrunched up face*

        4. I think that's a bit of a leap personally.

          Does the "real me" reside in the epidermis of my skin? Is the real me my appearance, period? I don't know about you but the real me is my personality and my feelings and my randomness – not how I decorate the exterior.

          So yeah my husband could go twenty years without seeing me bare-faced and still know the real me because that has nothing to do with whether I wear makeup or not.

        5. I really don't get the correlation between the head wrap and the makeup argument you made? Maybe i'm getting bogged down with semantics, but isn't wearing makeup to bed harmful? Additionally, you really believe there is something wrong with a woman who spends her life trying to please her man? Are you serious? Isn't that what marriage is about? I mean isn't doing for others supposed to make you feel good? Am I trippin? Was I unplugged from the Matrix and no one told me?

          I just think these kinda comments are ridiculous. Look at how the men of the forum have responded to what Max said. Men are visual creatures and we appreciate that type of effort. That doesn't mean we expect you to be dressed in an evening gown every night when we return home from work. Women can be just as sexy in a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt. It's all about the effort you put into your appearance.  I wouldn't even expect a woman to go as far as Max does, but the fact that she does deserves a standing ovation.

        6. @ Max “I don’t know about you but the real me is my personality and my feelings and my randomness – not how I decorate the exterior”

          I agree with this statement. But you can’t deny part of who you are is also your outer appearance, that’s just a given; You can say the “real” me is on the inside all day long, but we are talking about outer appearance. So, I’m just saying, why should I have to disguise the outer me, all the time, when it’s a part who I am.

          for the record, I didn't click dislike on your comment. I just responded to it.

          @ The Black Mamba *** I just responded to someone else’s comment about someone she knows in regards to her husband not seeing her without make up, wearing it for 20 years. That just seems kind of ridiculous to me, TO BED? 20 years? Not natural, Literally.

          “Additionally, you really believe there is something wrong with a woman who spends her life trying to please her man?”

          Of course you’re supposed to please your man, and vice versa. Again, speaking on the 20 years of make-up and sneaking to put a head wrap on, in the middle of the night, is just doing too much, FOR ME. If my man loves me for me, then why shouldn’t he love me without make up or a head wrap on my head. That’s all. Period. Nothing else to it. Now there is a time and place for everything. Just because I may wear a scarf sometimes, doesn’t mean all the time, and I’m not coming to bed looking bummy either. Not saying that. But again, I said the man for ME, would want me, all of me, with or without the head scarf. he might not like it all the time, but he would deal with it.

    6. Wow. Eleven dislikes because Max said she prefer her man not to see her in a wrap. She didn't even say anything to the effect of "no woman should let her man see her in a wrap", just that she personally doesn't. What were we saying about preferences earlier this week?

      Some people take way too much liberty with that thumbs down button.

        1. Umm… so we cant dislike opinions? GTFOH! lol!

          Please do tell… What exactly is that dislike button for?

        2. By all means, disliking opinions comes with the territory. But usually the purpose of blogs is to open up discussion, not hide behind a button. It's fine if you disagree, but please share why.

          Also, if you look at the comments that normally get a high amount of dislikes, it's typically because it's judgemental or attacking in nature. Since Max's comment was neither it just makes all the thumbs down look petty.

          Good enough answer? 'Cause I can keep going.

        3. Kema: "Umm… so we cant dislike opinions? GTFOH! lol!

          Please do tell… What exactly is that dislike button for?"

          General: Maybe it's just me, but I don't dislike comments I don't agree with. Even during Streetz The Hyphen Issue – Should She Change Her Last Name? post, I disagreed vehemently with quite a few people, but didn't dislike any comments. The only time I dislike a comment is if someone is taking personal shots at other writers or commenters. But that's just me.

          Specific: How did Max get fourteen (14!) thumbs down because she wants to look a certain way for her man? Seriously? How often do you see any comment get that many thumbs down? People are taking that much issue because SHE wants to look presentable to HER man? This doesn't even pertain to anyone else. This reminds me of all the comments women were making about Destiny's Child making that Cater To U song. Heaven forbid a woman do something for a man!

        4. ok I was gonna comment on Streetz comment below but I see the convo about the dislikes is here. does it really matter WHY people dislike comments? for the record, I didn't dislike it. but I've disliked comments before without any commentary added. And? who gon' check me? LOL

          It is MY theory (and I could be totally wrong here) that the majority of people that dislike without commenting are lurkers. yall know there are TONS more people that read this blog than the regs that comment daily. I mean… what is the point of having the option if folks are gonna get called out for using it? SBM staff can remove it, or do like facebook and just have likes only.

          I've liked AND disliked stuff without commenting before. sometimes you don't feel like explaining–is that not okay?

          serious questions yall. I mean…

        5. I mean when there is an excessive amount of dislikes with absolutely zero explanation, so it reeks completely of intellectual cowardice. This isn't like a point that Max has continually made and been addressed time and time again either. There also isn't anything about the comment that is obviously offensive about it where we could really assume a reason it would have a gauntlet of dislikes.

        6. @ Star

          *giggles at a$$ slap*

          @ Hugh

          It wasnt that what she said had my nose flaring. I tend to dislike posts I umm… dislike. But I did give a reason (valid or not). I thought the dislike button was kinda like a way to agree or disagree without commenting.

          *remembers how many dislikes I had for saying I was sexy* Hmmm…

        7. I think most people are taking issue with the sheer number of dislikes, when she didn't say anything that crazy. It usually takes an Adonis-level of disrespect to get 16 (as of 1:44 pm CDT) dislikes. I'm not sure if I've ever seen someone get that many.

          But I bet you don't get any dislikes for saying you're sexy with your current avi. Even Starita wants to smack that a$$!

        8. I'm mad at ya'll policing the dislike button. LOL Let the 'dislikers' have their button and the 'likers' have theirs, who cares? I guess all this expressing of opinions about how people express their opinions is unnecessarily recursive.

          I here by give ALL readers and skimmers of my comments the freedom to 'dislike' without fear of trial. LOL

      1. lmaoooo @ "Adonis-level" catch-phrase…. so that's what we calling a high number of dislikes now. Got It!!! 🙂

        1. @GirlSixx

          Geez #ThatIsAllI'mGonnaSayAboutThat

          I am not owed an explanation for why Max got so many dislikes, & I think people should dislike as they please…

          But I would like to know, what the deal was…?

    7. I don't know why there were so many dislikes on this. LOL. Yes, I feel like that is #doingtoomuch but it's also kind of commendable. She's trying to preserve her sexy for her man.

    8. The block is on FIRE for Max's comment and I totally agree with Hugh here … I'm still outraged over that Hyphen comment that received a milli unwarranted likes. Anything above 15 likes or dislikes is like either GOSPEL or BLASPHEMY … I guess in this case, it's both.

      1. I guess I've never been disliked or liked that many times to care. **waits for all the dislikes now**

        outraged though? *stretches arms out** you need a hug? 🙂

  8. At this point in life….in this day in age….I have to look at any man who is shocked about a woman wrapping her hair and be like "Come on son…….really????". "Did you just wake up from the 70s or something?".
    I just look at it like this, any man with any sort of knowledge about black women, particularly those with permed hair and/or weaves, knows that odds are she is wrapping that up at night. Common sense. Common knowledge. So me getting bothered by something I already know is happening is foolishness. That would be like her acting surprised to know that I pee'd standing up. Like serious…"Hello McFly! Anyone in home! What did you think I did?"

  9. I will rarely allow an SO to see me with my hair wrapped or in a bonnet…I only wear them when the SO is not around….but, that is more about me and not them…I don't feel I look at my best wearing my hair wrapped up so I always want to try and look my best in the presence of my SO….if I possibly can…but, that means I have a lot more work to do on my hair in the morning…but, it's worth the sacrifice, for the most part…but, for those ladies who do wrap…I understand.

    For those men who don't like to see a woman's hair wrapped up..I understand that too..but, I think most black men understand why black women wrap their hair..and they may not like it..but, they know there is really nothing they can do about it..if they wan to keep the peace.

  10. Generally speaking…I don't tie my hair up until all is said and done. During the do? All bets are pretty much off…and if I have a scarf on at the time…heaven help me because after the fact I got to find it.

    Mr. Rich doesn't mind my scarf….but let me come out in a bonnet…

    1. BeBe, I like mr. Rich… He sounds confident and shows that his love for you is unconditional… I don't mind the scarf either…

  11. At this point, most men shouldn't be surprised that women wrap their hair at night. Trust us, we don't WANT to wear the head wrap either but as previously stated, it is a necessary evil if you don't want us looking like we were electrocuted in the morning. Now if we're ready for some sexy time, I won't wrap my hair until after. Or I'll snatch it off as soon as the touching begins.

    What I can't understand is how a woman's sex appeal goes out the window for the eight hours she's trying to sleep. Some men seem so grossed out as if she went from Halle Berry to Shenaynay just because she had a scarf on. It's not that deep.

  12. I don't wrap my hair at night…don't do the Geisha lean on my pillow when I get my hair did either. The few times I did have styles that required a wrap (braids and such) I did go get the most beautiful scarf I could find to do the job.

    (Note to the ladies: unless you're role playing and rocking full on cowgirl you should NOT be rockin a bandana in bed. It is not cute and its not even good for your hair!)

    Oh, and I'm talking to YOU lady on front of me on the train…do not rock your headwrap on the street unless you're doing a j lo…fancy…big earrings….stylish. NO grease stains!

    1. In Richmond, these women walk around DAILY–OUTSIDE (not a little, A LOT) with those grandmas looking things on when their hair is not done. I often wonder why one would rather walk around like that for a few days then to comb hair? I have always wondered what they do when they get home….

        1. LOL @ Geisha Lean

          I am guilty of finding the most uncomfortable positions on my pillows so my big curly hair won't be all flat on one side…but when I'm rocking a wrap…it's all over and I might not have that scarf on when I wake up.

          I firmly believe that walking further than the mailbox with a rag on your head (except in extreme cases: workouts/sport and what have you) should be a criminal offense.

      1. I'm from Richmond and I actually never saw this occur until I moved to FL a few years ago. it may be a generational thing now, but nobody I know comes out in public looking that way. Even now that I live in MD I've seen chicks in the mall rocking bonnets–WDDDA? I'm definitely not of that school of thought.

        I went to Qdoba yesterday and a chick had her work visor on and no lie turned around and had a bonnet covering the back of her hair. I think a hair net wouldve sufficed for work, but I'm convinced she's a hoodrat so…

        1. "in the mall rockin bonnets!!!" LOL! I'm sure we'll hear that as the chorus of a song real soon. You'd better copyright that.

        2. OMG – Reecie chile what part of MD were YOU in? I can't allow you to put that kind of wack behavior on MD just because Richmond got called out! Matter fact…..I'm gone DISLIKE YO COMMENT! Take that! *logs off* *logs back in with a different email addy* Disliked again!!

  13. I feel like I am in the strong minority here. My beau has no worries with regard to my headgear. In fact he is a bit of a scarf Nazi! There are nights I am too tired to even think about wrapping my hair and it's almost like he can see me thinking of going to bed without it. Just when I am about to lay down, I get a tap on the shoulder "where's your scarf?"

    It is a prerequisite for bed. Sexy time or not! He has a momma, a grandmomma, a sister, aunts, cousins, he knows the drill. And he knows what my head looks like when it is a hot mess.

  14. Honestly if im about to smash it out, I dont give a good ghat damn what you have on ya head..although i do mainly lay wit the mami's, they dont really wrap it up like that..lol

    1. What he said, the first part anyway. I honestly can't remember the last time I saw a head wrap, which means women have either been hiding it from me or they don't wrap it up at all. But either way, I doubt I'd care enough to be passionate one way or the other and I def wouldn't pass up beats over it. Of course, if there is a choice a nice head wrap is obviously > a tacky one.

  15. I give my best to my husband, therefore, why would I wear my hair all pretty out and about and then come home and give him the ‘I’m saving it for them other people’ look. At home is where my sexy STAYS out. I will never wear things in the house to preserve my beauty for the rest of the world and NOT share it with my husband….this makes NO sense to me.

    I try to stay looking cute and sexy for my SO. That is how it was when I met him and it shall stay this way. I have natural hair anyway and even when I get a different do that may require more maintenance, that’s what a silk pillow case is for. It is not that serious with my hair, it doesn't care about a scarf…I still manage to look fly all day every day without it.

    Besides, I don't want to have to take the necessary step of pulling it off so he can yank it and pull it during our connection time.

    Happy Friday!

    1. I just wanted to add this was an awesome comment and I especially appreciated the point of showing off for the world but hiding the sexy from your SO. that is def NOT the move.

  16. I love messing with my guy about this lol. He'll come over and just be like "scarf" with a pout and say it's not sexy. I'll joke and say i'm not tryna be. That's if he comes after I've already gotten ready to go to bed. If he comes a lil earlier, i'll hold off and he'll smile and be like "hair!" I know he doesnt care for it so usually i try to hold off. But if I kno nothing's going down that night for whatever reason and we're just watching a movie or something, I don't really care. Regardless, he'll still lay me down either way. So that just tells me it's really not a big deal.

    1. Hmmm – I would tell him your hair is his motivation to come rushing over to your spot. If he makes it before __ o'clock he gets hair. After that time, scarf.

  17. I'm with you @BeBe Rich…I have to wait until it's over because the scarf is coming off during sex.

    I don't feel sexy with my hair scarf on.

        1. Girl I swear you're reading my twitter, lol I laughed too!

          Or maybe someone really thought: "Booo BeBeRich and her man are having good chex, Star is the debil." Obviously. Yeah, I'm sure that's it…lol And someone hates Dwele I guess… *smh*

  18. Is my hubby the only one who actually likes my head scarf? Maybe he only likes it because it's novel. I don't wrap my hair often so I guess when I do it gives him something new to look at. He thinks it makes me look a little thuggy. It's like he's cheating on me with me. Maybe he's just glad my hair isn't in his mouth or eyes when we're in the middle of things. Hell I'm glad it's not in my eyes or mouth but I do miss feeling it brush against my back when it's wrapped up.

    1. *plays Dwele "I'm Cheating"* Thanks for that Krys, good start to the morn after reading Maxfab's site. It's definitely FRIDAY!!!!

        1. I see SD feelin feisty today…*nods heads slowly* I got my eye on you homie… *fingers to my eyes and back to yours, repeat as necessary*

      1. I'd never heard that song (or any song by dwele come to think of it) but it does kind of fit this situation. That's funny. Thanks Star.

        1. Whaaaa? You're welcome! While I'm listening…he did a nice remake of "Open Your Eyes" but this is the best compilation EVAH (((echo))))! http://bit.ly/rbZHSw Dude is hyper talented. And again I say. You're welcome! 🙂

        2. The US credit rating is downgraded.

          There's a Black man in the White House.

          A pig was seen flying down Constitution Avenue.

          And a white woman is putting a black girl onto Dwele.

          At least 14 of my boys said they was falling back from Deltnic this weekend.


        3. Krystl,

          You're always good with me. Everytime I see your gravatar I think about Andre 3K's Protoype interlude…

          "She so got damn sweet, sweet as she wanna be, I just like … wanna lay in her hair."

        4. There's a song I've heard before! Doc, if I read this right, that's probably the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me. *swoon*

    2. Is it just me or have any of ya ever woke up at like 3/4 in the morning in the pitch black and not have a clue who's next to you or think the person next to you is someone from the dream u just came out of … I swear i be thinking i'm cheating (back when i was in a 'ship) or i'm blazing a celebrity. Then the light comes and i come back to reality. Smh.

  19. I normally don't wrap my hair even when I sleep alone. And yes, my hair is all over the place when I wake up, but it only takes a few seconds to fix. To be perfectly honest, when I get in the bed, ESPECIALLY if Ima get sum, my hair is the last thing on my mind.

  20. I dont wear a scarf to bed because I have satin pillowcases and my hair is natural. Plus, I absolutely love making my husbands' arm go numb and laying on that. I comb my hair in the morning, and I will twist and wrap my hair while I'm getting dressed. When my husband and I first started living together and found out I didn't wrap my hair at night (relaxed at the time), he acted like he hit the lottery. SMH, then he started wearing one when he started growing his hair out. LOL, we argued about it then. This is exactly why I don't wear a scarf, IT'S UGLY! Where is your bald fade my man and your mustache? Who told you to cut that off too?

    Those were dark days in our relationship…..I digress, I hate scarves and doo rags in the sack.

    1. JG,
      You're to funny and it reminded me a time gone by for me when I was in a relationship with a woman who didn't like doorags in her bed… I remember my arm going numb too.. that was crazy, but worth the feeling… Thanks for bringing back some good memories..

  21. I can agree with the non wrapping of the hair but it's understood that when it's time to get another wash-n-set — Imma need you to open that wallet. #FairExchange

  22. I'm ok with looking a little worn after the deed is done, however, nothing makes you pro-scarf like getting a little "something about mary" projected into your hair. At that point, eff a scarf homeboy, we're scrappin (or you're taking me back to the Dominican Salon–PAID. IN. FULL)!

        1. @Reecie I'm originally from Oklahoma but now I am in Indiana. That don't mean all Oklahomans are dingy though just me, because I actually live under a rock.
          @Malik I actually don't listen to secular music often because I have two small children and I don't want them to be exposed to some of the lyrics out there. Yeah hearing your small son sing birthday sex is devastating. You'll feel like a failure as a parent. We stay up on some PBS during the day and the hot song in our house right now goes "I love to spell. S-P-E-L-L….."

        2. @Krystllyght

          " I actually don’t listen to secular music often because I have two small children and I don’t want them to be exposed to some of the lyrics out there"

          I totally understand. I can remember my son asking me what "I bet the neighbors know my name" meant. Yea… time for radio disney

          Oh and I dont know this Dwele either *goes to find out*

  23. SO doesn't mind the head scarf. He actually prefers that I'm comfortable at home so as soon as I get home he makes me change into comfy clothes and wash off the makeup…plus having 2 little ones means dressing down at home anyway as to not get spit-up/baby food/marker on my nice clothes. We also tend to get intimate in the morning so it's time for the scarf to come off anyway!

  24. This is hilarious, but it's reality. I don't adorn my head with the "scarf/bonnet" every night but when I do my bf always has something to say. He can tolerate the scarf more than the bonnet he always says I look like the mushroom man from the Super Mario video game. But, anyway guys it's just something you have to deal with when dealing with. Most black women wrap their hair, I'm sure if you spent hours washing, combining, flat ironing, trimming and all the other ish we do to our hair you would wrap yours too! We can't be sexy all the dang time! lmbo.

  25. Good post. I personally started out not wrapping my hair when I went to his house. I didn't want to scare him off. Now that I'm this deep in the game, I'll get up and be like,"Let me go wrap my hair" …He has no problems with it. I have a bonnet and all that mess over there too.

    I just think it's best for him to get used to me as I am whether at my flyest or in maintenance stage. I can understand giving him my best but hell, he's only requesting my hair at it's silkiest when we're headed out… Like today… Let me get me arse together!

    (And tonight, just for his 33rd birthday and in honor of bestie getting married, he's meeting ROLLERS!)

  26. The last woman I dated lived in her head scarf while being at her home when I was over there it seemed….well after awhile at least (wasn't like that in the very beginning of course). It was like I'd get off work and give her a buzz to let her I know was coming over. Mind you she had flawless, long, beautiful hair (all hers) and on top of that she had an awesome physical shape to boot. I swear, though, every time I rolled over she'd open the door with a big ol' smile and hug to greet me, but she'd be in that head scarf, some regular old t-shirt and sweat pants! smh lol. I think she surprised me once by answering the door in some scantily lingerie and some 4 inch heels…needless to say it was on and cracking immediately! lol.

    It was kind of weird to me for a bit…she had the sexiest body..I was her man…and she'd come to bed almost every night we'd sleep together with that same get up…sweat pants, t shirt and head wrap. I remember I bought her a $100 gift gard to Victoria's Secret for Christmas one time…don't you know the first time I saw the rewards of my gesture was like 3 or 4 months later, lol! smh. I'll tell you what ,though, when we did step out in public she was dressed to the tee it made me appreciate it a whole lot more , ha ha.

    1. Sounds like she was just comfy being around you. That's a true, blue sign of love to the highest degree. On the other hand, I think it would have nice… JUST ONCE to get her wearing nothing but hair and heels…

    2. I agree with Jaci, she was just comfy around you. men don't realize its kinda hard to maintain a lot of hair, and outside of rocking a ponytail, she prob doesn't like to have it down, falling in her food, sticking to her lips if she has lipgloss on etc. at home, she's chillin and keeping it up and out of the way. I do agree she prob couldve had it out SOME times just because she knew you liked it (did she know?)

  27. I can make a head scarf cute, but I know my satin bonnet is the UGLIEST sh*t ever. I KNOW it. but I still rock it on the solo dolo. In a perfect world a man that truly loves you won't mind. I do like my hair ever so slightly tugged so during sexy time I'd probably wait until its over to put my bonnet on. but some days when I'm in a relationship, its gonna come out. I'm sorry. its a realistic part of my lifestyle. *shrugs* I like my hair to look good, and that's part of the maintenance.

  28. The progression of a college man's room.

    It all started freshman year, the first thing you had to add was… POW, the stars on the ceiling… didn't have those you wasn't going nowhere with the ladies. Then I went and got one of those sound joints that had the nature sounds and the different lights, #winning.

    Next thing, got to get some Capri Suns for the fridge. BADOW! You ain't got no capri suns you can't get no ladies…. Then you go and buy a couple books just for the room. I always had Nikki Giovanni's Love Poems on my bed, and always make your bed… it's important. Women came over thought I was reading it but I wasn't reading it because I liked her poetry, I was just trying to get at the Deltas and being as though they was all Spring 01, I had to act like I was cultured. TIPPY TAO!

    But most importantly, I had four regular pillows and a body pillow, and on two of them pillows was two silk pillowcases. As Katt said, "Just in case she ain't want to get her hair messed up f*cking with a n*gga." Now that body pillow was so that when chicks came over they just wanted to lay down. For some reason women love body pillows.

    By the time I moved out the dorms and off campus, bruh man had the pillow top mattress. (That eggshell mattress pad is for young bucks.)

    Wait this post is about head wraps…

    I don't like head wraps, I really don't. I go out of my way to make a bed for women to lie in where they don't need it. If I wake up and you have a head scarf on, then i'll probably go home or take it off. I don't have silk pillowcases anymore. Chick put me onto game… if a chick come over your house and you got silk pillowcases she knows you done had other b*tches in your bed. Plus, after a while, all that crap you have in your college bed needs to get replaced with a bedframe, 650-thread count sheets and a duvet, not a comforter.

    PS – Reecie is lying, I have never seen a head scarf.

    PPS – If anymore of you women say, "scarfs" i'm kicking you off the blog. It's "scarves".

  29. I don't wrap my hair, ever, maybe it's because i wear it natural, i just put it in a ponytail.

    But to be completely fair, it takes women a while to get their hair laid the way they want, so if some want to wrap their hair before they go to bed, so it looks the way they want in the morning, your opinion is not needed.

      1. That was rude, very rude actually, and i wasn't even angry typing this, but i guess you still have a grudge from the last post, hmmm… how emotional, maybe you should try the silver bullet 🙂

  30. I have no issue with the head scarf. I have an issue when you lookin like my grandmother. Have a NICe looking scarf please, not the one with the beat up holes in it!

    And also them dislikes on Max… lol there are some bitter b.. people on the e-streetz today!

  31. I'm iffy on the head scarves situation. Shout out to the women who don't wrap their heads that much. Lucky you! Now, if I don't wrap my hair at night I have to take more time in the morning to straighten or curl it and most mornings I don't have time. Guess I'm lazy.

    But head scarves round the boo? Maaaaaan, I'm too scared to do that. Once when I was dating a guy I thought he likes me, he knows how i look I'ma rock this scarf round him. Needless to say… he didn't like that ish. After we stopped dating he told me I got too comfortable around him and he hated that scarf. Lesson learned. Even though I love my scarf (I hate wrapping my hair tho), it'll take me a very long time for me to let my man see me in it.

    1. I can't imagine a head scarf (or being too comfortable) being a dealbreaker. Besides, if he disliked it that much he should have said something before you stopped dating, not after. Dude kinda sounds like he's full of it. Just my outside-lookin-in opinion.

      1. I agree Keona. I'm all about normalcy in a relationship–this is me, take it or leave it. But I guess there is a such thing as too much too soon. and she did just say they were dating… I mean some men don't believe that women have bowel movements either. *rolls eyes*

        when you are with some, and down for them down for them— the women that births your babies and cleans your dirty draws should be able to walk around with her scarf on, I don't care if its ugly mustard yellow and matches nothing she's wearing if she wants to. but yall don't hear me tho…

    2. Maybe you and I have the same trifling, full of it ex. Lolz the things niggas say….'too comfortable'. Dudes say things like that and it makes a girl feel like she should be sleeping with one eye open! I'm a very open, free person so I need to be comfortable. I don't wear makeup, my hair is natural and froed out most of the time…that's justmms. I hate straightening my hair bc I keep it pin curled during that time and it's not always comfy to sleep on. If done right, it's a pretty alternative to a wrap and head scarf though…

  32. A woman should do what she has to do to maintain the look SHE wants outside the bedroom. Eff a scarf (or not). But could you just make sure you wash the makeup off? I don't want that ish on my pillowcases ma'am. Thanks.

    FYI, tho… I've been successful in having "bed time" with a woman with an atrocious scarf once. It didn't take away or add to the festivities. To me, it's not even a big enough deal to have a "preference." Also, I sleep with both my eyes closed and in the dark, so…

  33. I have natural hair, so when it's pressed/blown out, you better believe I am wrapping my hair.

    I have two suggestions, one that my grandmother taught me.

    Buy different color silk/satin wraps to go over the tight wrap and have it match your night gowns. Tie that wrap in a cuter fashion than the notorious black wrap and BAM– you're ready for bed and he has something cute too look at.

    Buy a satin/ 500/600 thread pillow case. If your is freshly pressed, you have a good 3 days to not wrap and still do some damage ;-).

    Seriously though, not wrapping it up is not cute, no pun intended. It's much much better to be fly 17 hours, and a little less cute for the remainder 7.

    1. JaneanAriel says:
      August 12, 2011 at 2:49 pm
      "I’m mad it just registered that his name is M’Likshawnquan and she’s just plain Jane. Lmbo!"

      Hahaha, that was exactly my thought too! I was even madder that I spent the first five minutes on this post trying to figure out how to pronounce his name. Why couldn't he simply be Dave? Lol

  34. I never realized this was such a contentious issue lol. Having a boo never really influenced whether I wrapped my hair or not. Then again, where I'm from women wear headwraps as a form of decoration and to go out, its apart of the outfit.

    If your boo has an issue with it, maybe find some cute scarfs? Or make sure your nightwear is extra fly. No man has ever told me my scarf bothered them… maybe cuz their attention was elsewhere LOL

  35. Party over but i was just wondering why people were talking about the many 'dislike' max had…umm cos her post was 'disliked'…? I don't see nobody asking for reasons why the person who responded to her and said the opposite got 20+ 'likes.' It's pretty simple…her comment while it is completely hers, was 'too much'…superficial more like

    …how you gon wait up just to wrap you hair and get up super early just so he doesn't see you?? LST!!..it's exactly like wearing make up to bed just so your man doesn't see you without…you that 'tow up'? And of course the men are all for looking like barbie 24/7. Get real please!

    That said…headwraps are pretty natural where i'm from so i've never had a problem with it or rather never met anyone that had issues with it.

  36. So I'm guessing women who dont wrap their hair change their pillow cases everyday? What with the oil(natural or artificial) and different hair products getting onto them – or absorbed into the pillow itself; that causes my skin to break out. For me it really isn't about the hair as it is the skin health/hygiene.

  37. My husband never really mind me covering my head at night. but the fact that I don't wear much to bed may be the reason for that…lol. 😉

  38. Well I am not even gone front like I read all the comments on here but the tone is saying that there are many people that don't understand why someone may dislike something and not explain themselves. Personally yes I disliked her comment because I disagree. Period. Not trying to put her down or anything else needs to be read into it. I have read many posts and liked or disliked without explanation. One because I be at work reading this and don't really have the time to go into some long drawn out convo. Didnt know there was a rule that you had to explain your like or dislike. But some of these comments is throwing me cause I know a ton of females who like myself is tying up there hair at nite. I done heard all the complaints a man has to give. Don't change nothing for me. I got gripes too that I put up with him so he can deal with a scarf or bonnet on my head.

    Plain and simple. Imma wear a scarf to bed. Erynite. My boo already know the deal. I plays no games on this. Plus my boo wear a wave cap so I wish he would. Yall can't have it all. It some stuff that just come with the territory. And so it wasnt personal I just disagreed.

  39. Max, do ya thang. Period. Your house, your man, your rules.

    Personally, I read it and was like "Damn, I need to step it up. That lil hint of mystery you got going on is worth it."

    I knew a woman who told me she has never pumped her own gas. She's been married 32 years and said her husband keeps her car filled up. Does he have to do that? Nope. Does he want to do that? Yep. Does it make him a punk because his woman has never pumped her own gas? Boi stop!

    Ya'll on here acting like Max was preaching the gospel, when she simply gave a testimony.

  40. If you want her to look fly in the morning, she has to wrap it up at night! I tie the scarf on after the BF has gone to sleep usually.

  41. i've happily shagged my woman with her headwrap on…my chick bad though headwrap on or off…at first she was all weirded out by me seeing it but after awhile of her dealing with me she's rode the MTA to my crib wearing a wrap…

  42. "You in a dream gang or something?" Absolutely, dead…

    I pretty much retired scarves unless it is a dire necessity. Tried a bonnet once and wanted to bludgeon myself. I just bought better pillowcases. I sleep like a normal person. If maintaining my hair through the night is that deep, I bend the pillow. Hair should never get in the way of good sex or sleep.


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This