Home Featured If Black Men Win, Do Black Women Lose?

If Black Men Win, Do Black Women Lose?

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Answer Hint: No.

Site founder, fellow writer, and sell out of single men now engaged SBM aka EBM wrote a post last week called News Flash: Black Men Still Winning. Fortunately for him, and a strategic move of epic proportions, he prefaced that blog with the news of his engagement so it tempered the comments.

Still, I noticed a number of comments attacking the points put forth in the blog supporting the notion, “black men are winning.” I began to wonder why. If someone states black men are winning, does it indirectly imply that black women are losing? If yes, does that mean we are on competing teams? I assumed, perhaps incorrectly, that black men and women were on the same team. I guess I missed the memo where we diverged and pitted ourselves against one another in battle, where the success of one group is to the detriment of the other rather than the betterment of the whole.



EBM quoted mainly from a Wall Street Journal article alleging that in order to cure the black marriage “problem” more black women should date interracially. He also cited another write-up called, New Research Shatters Myths and Provides New Hope for Black Love and Marriage. Today, I’d like to focus on the latter piece. Due to word limits, I can only highlight a limited number of points. If you want to comment on others, feel free to do so below or write your own damn blog.

The [Nightline] article asserts, “Let’s take 100 black men. By the time you eliminate those without a high school diploma (21 percent), the unemployed (17 percent) and those ages 25-34 who are incarcerated (8 percent), you have only half of black men, 54 percent, whom many black women find acceptable.”  Here, the article assembles numbers to assert, rather audaciously, that nearly half of all black men in America are unworthy of marriage because of their undesirable social characteristics.  First, for this statement to be true there has to be zero overlap in these categories.

Degree production has not brought about parity in the personal income of black women and black men.  Nationwide, although more than 800,000 more black women than black men have at least a bachelor’s degree, almost 200,000 more black men than black women earn more than $75,000 per year.

The top five occupations for black men who make six figures without a college degree are: (1) managers, (2) truck drivers, (3) police officers, (4) construction workers, and (5) bailiffs, correctional officers, and jailers.

When the Nightline article first came out, I didn’t notice it lumped all the categories together without accounting for overlap. It actually makes me wonder how often the media does this. I recognize they have to sell stories; however, it is insulting when they do so at your expense with skewed “facts”.

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What also surprised me is the list of professions that make over six figures without a college degree. Other than “managers,” I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman whose preferences include a man’s income mention she was seeking to date men in any of other the other professions listed. Maybe, despite their income, their professions are not glamorous enough? Depending on your viewpoint, dating a broke popular rapper is better than dating an unknown well-off correctional officer…I guess.

And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for:

When analyzing the black women who are 35 and older, the percent who have never been married drops to 25%, indicating that a solid majority of black women get married before they turn 35. Granted, the total percent of unmarried black women is still twice more than for white women who are 35 and older.

The most recent data in fact shows 1.9 million more black women than black men.  However, the same data show 4.6 million more white women than white men.  With this statement, they are exercising arrogant ignorance or deceptive omission to sell the story.

8% of black males who are living at or near poverty have a white wife, and 9% of black males who are middle class or better have a white wife.  Among married black men with a personal income of more than $100,000, 12% have a white wife, 83% have a black wife, and 5% have a wife who is neither black nor white.  Six percent of married black men who are high school dropouts have a white wife and 92% have black wives.  Among black men with college degrees, 10% have a white wife and 85% have black wives. Among black male professional athletes, 72.8% are married to black women, 22.2% are married to white women, and 5% are married to women who are neither black nor white.

There are two ways to view this data: 1) As black men increase their income earnings, while still heavily in the minority, the less likely they are to marry a black woman. 2) As black men increase their earnings, the more exposure they have to women of other races, and therefore, the odds that they will only associate with black women as potential mates decreases.

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People who want to believe rich black guys are marrying white women because of some form of subconscious favoritism that they can now finally act upon will likely argue the former, while those with an economic viewpoint will side with the latter. Neither side is wrong, because both sides have evidence to support their opinions; however, both sides tend to be biased in the facts they’ll accept, often use facts to support opinions as facts, and claim to be objective in their conclusions when they are far from it.

Which brings us to you, the readers. What are your thoughts on these stats and the media’s portrayal of black men, women, and marriages? Do you think the authors adequately served their role as “myth busters”? Did any of this “new” information surprise you?

Save the Date! Next Wednesday, August 31, 2011 – The SBM Fam will be hosting Happy Hour at The Empire Room at The Empire State Building from 6-10pm, please RSVP to [email protected] for further information and confirmation

Comment(142)

  1. "As black men increase their earnings, the more exposure they have to women of other races, and therefore, the odds that they will only associate with black women as potential mates decreases."

    I am leaning more towards this option. I think when you expose people to diversity they are more open to marrying outside their race. As a latina, I really enjoy dating outside my race and it comes from experiencing different cultures.

    Great food for thought.

  2. I can see how both points make sense. Yet being one of a few Black Women living abroad there is still nothing more striking and amazing to me than a beautiful Black Man and it saddens me that Black Men often times don't take that same view of us.

        1. True…people tend to focus on the lowest common denominator to gernerally drive home home their assertions. Such is life. *shrugs* …I'm guilty of it, too, lol.

        2. Energy flows where attention goes. And a man who looks like a pushover a woman will take advantage of easily. Vive Versa for a man as well. We find what we look for in this life. Expect disappointment, you get disappointment, expect the best in life, you get the best in life.:) Expect the best! 🙂

    1. "8% of black males who are living at or near poverty have a white wife, and 9% of black males who are middle class or better have a white wife. Among married black men with a personal income of more than $100,000, 12% have a white wife, 83% have a black wife, and 5% have a wife who is neither black nor white. Six percent of married black men who are high school dropouts have a white wife and 92% have black wives. Among black men with college degrees, 10% have a white wife and 85% have black wives. Among black male professional athletes, 72.8% are married to black women, 22.2% are married to white women, and 5% are married to women who are neither black nor white."

      Didn't you look at the statistics?

    2. It’s funny how people are speaking on Black Guys as if they are making big moves. lol

      #JDUHB82
      Please believe me when I say that Black guys still find Black Woman Beautiful.
      Pay no attention to the way the Media is trying to mix up ethnicities.

      I mean who wouldn’t want a little black in their coffee, so I ain’t mad!

      But if were a white chick, I would only be with a Man, black or whatever who genuinely loves me.
      Right now I see black guys dating white woman out of spite.
      When little do they know, we (African Woman) Feel like we dodged a bullet.
      I say, keep going and thank you!

      Back in the day, the trend was to not date light skin men.
      Then it went to not dating dark skin men.
      I have even heard people being called a “sellout” for dating outside of their ethnicity.

      Black Women were frown at for showing that they’ve been hurt in the past.
      And since that has stopped and we stopped accepting BS from tired black guys, their games and we have also moved on instead of staying with a cheater who doesn’t even want to get a job.
      Black Guys now feel some kind of way. Smh lol
      hahaha

      Now we have the Black guys showing us how bitter they are from past relationships.
      The script has flipped…
      And the dating outside of your race should be a personal choice but unfortunately, I think most black guys are doing it out of spite, and because it’s the trend right now and they’re looking for some attention. #silly rabbit

      So the way I see it, there never was enough Good Black Men with a clean record, decent credit and I could go on! We need to let they’re interesting new ways open our eyes to better things.
      Or shall I say, they’ve opened my eyes to other ethnicities. All this time I was missing a refreshing person to complete me! Allowing my time to be wasted by some black men who were foul.

      When there are millions or gorgeous respectful men out there who actually want to be happy.

      As I stated before, there are good and bad people in every ethnicity so why stick around waiting for the same old crap we got from brothas when we could be out seeing the world and falling in love.

      Black is fantastic! Or shall I say Africans and yes I should!
      I will always love my CHOCOLATE BROTHAS and the Sexy soft brown skin brothas too!
      I’ve just had enough and now I want some different candy.

      So for all of the Black Queens out there doing their thing…
      Keep doing what you’re doing, because that new man will respect you for it.

  3. I go with the fomer. It seeems that once a man becomes successful he wants the trophy, the arm candy. In our society, the top of the line or cream of the crop in women is the white woman. The woman these men choose is the symbol of their success, a white woman. I admit this may not be the case in all cases but I do believe it is the case in many instances. Sure, some men are exposed to more women of other races the more successful they become but I think it only explains a small percentage of the stats.

    1. Still getting used to this new system. Let's try this again…

      "In our society, the top of the line or cream of the crop in women is the white woman. "

      Not at all! It's a combination of factors. Some see white women as "forbidden fruit". I'm sure much of it has to do with history. There's also the "grass is greener" effect. People are always drawn to that which is not easily accessible.

      I could go into this more, but I've got to get back on task.

      TO BE CONTINUED…maybe.

      1. "Not at all! It's a combination of factors. Some see white women as "forbidden fruit". I'm sure much of it has to do with history. There's also the "grass is greener" effect. People are always drawn to that which is not easily accessible. "

        ALL OF THIS^^^^^

    2. I can't get with this White women are the "cream of the crop" of women…

      If you have a stat or black men on tape stating that, I'll buy it…

      Two thoughts…

      Men usually check for the hottest women they can afford (and even then, alot of your upwardly mobile black men & athlete marry plain jane's of ANY race), Black men are no different…

      And your chronic white women daters of BM, are probably black men that GREW up in a suburban neigborhood & is acclimated to stereotypical middle-upper class white culture… aka "Tiger Woods" type Black man… Those guys are not well suited for the average black woman, and will either go Becky or get a black woman with/from the same temperment/culture…

      SSTTE

      1. Also… Black men have a different standard of beauty than the rest of America… Check our magazines (King, Sweets, BlackMen, XXL, Source, Smooth) & Check @WisdomIsMisery's Recent images #MoreShots… #ThankMeLater *No Drake*

        The kind of women that black women should be worried about is NOT the white girl, but the "Multi-Ethnic" girl in a black woman's body….

    3. "The woman these men choose is the symbol of their success, a white woman. I admit this may not be the case in all cases but I do believe it is the case in many instances."

      Sooo…from what I read the most "successful", monetary-wise, black man is the athlete and 73% of them are married to black women and 22% to white women ("trophy"). When did 22% become "many cases" ?? Is this that new math people are talking about? Maybe I'm taking this statement out of context. *shrugs*

      1. lol! but I think TNT was only referencing the 22%. Out of that 22% she/he is saying bm pick white women because they see her as a trophy instead of the alternative WIM gave "As black men increase their earnings, the more exposure they have to women of other races, and therefore, the odds that they will only associate with black women as potential mates decreases."

        Not that I agree…

      2. that's what I am saying. Worst, the 22% applies to a select group of black men. Most black men are marrying black women in the 90s. SMDH

    4. "In our society, the top of the line or cream of the crop in women is the white woman"

      You debunked your own argument with this sentence.

  4. My Thoughts

    – There is a few of ugly paths to $100,000 (Correctional Work is a brain drain)…

    – I already disagree with the notion that black men are winning … Just like all black men are not thugs & pimps (my favorite role models, until "you offer me an alternative"), Not all black men are killing it with red bone models & working for Fortune 500 companies… We are an interesting mixed bag

    – As far as BW winning, Personally, I judge women on the basis of the basis of being able to attractive & inspire a quality man to marry you & how well you can be a supportive wife & mother … Everything else plays second fiddle…

    Note: Unlike Dr. J's 'Evelyn "The Predator" Lozada' pic on Tuesday #Shots, this heartwarming pic is everything that is right about black couples

    SSTTE

  5. I think men who marry white women have always been attracted to white women….that's why I don't understand the STUPID "exposure" argument…what you've NEVER watched TV, gone to the bank, had a drink at the local pub, etc….I always ROTFL at that one!!!

    It's OKAY fellas!! LOL:) I've always been attracted to white men…and it's not because I'm not treated well by black men…I just have always found SOME of them cute….

    Does that men I will MARRY a white man…maybe…maybe not.

    At the end of the day…we need to STOP acting like EVERY black man wants a WHITE WIFE…and EVERY black woman wants a RAPPER/ATHELETE…and QUIT looking at these STUPID ass "news" stories that, as the blogger has pointed out, are inherently FALSE.

  6. Um… How in the h.ell did they get all this data from a sample size of 100 men? Am I crazy and just reading wrong at 6am? So after they throw out the men who fall under specific categories listed, they end up with 54 percent of eligible black men. Ok so we have 54 black men of marriage material, and out of those 54 men: “8% of black males who are living at or near poverty have a white wife, and 9% of black males who are middle class or better have a white wife.  Among married black men with a personal income of more than $100,000, 12% have a white wife, 83% have a black wife, and 5% have a wife who is neither black nor white.  Six percent of married black men who are high school dropouts have a white wife and 92% have black wives.  Among black men with college degrees, 10% have a white wife and 85% have black wives. Among black male professional athletes, 72.8% are married to black women, 22.2% are married to white women, and 5% are married to women who are neither black nor white.”

    How skewed is this! How is this sample of 54 men selected? What area of the country did they pull these men from? Would it happen to be mainly from a state/region with more AfAmer. Population? If you know that the African American pop. Is 12.6% which happens to be around 39,000,000, why is the sample size only 100? That’s less than 1%

    This is why I ignored articles that present statistics to back up their claims because often times its skewed. If you want stats it best to at least consult a scholarly piece. Stuff like this makes me mad because most people I know will read something and except the “facts” instead of taking the time to analyze the data. I’m glad that you recognized these stats were skewed WIM.

    As far as your question “What are your thoughts on these stats and the media’s portrayal of black men, women, and marriages?”

    Clearly this data is innacurate and skewed. I am not silly enough to make claims to “the percentage” of inter/intra racial marriage rates. I never did have a thing for speculation, serve me the facts please

    1. Excuse the brevity of my comment, trying to address a few folks before work today (mobile). Anyway, the sample size was far greater than 100 altho I don’t remember the population offhand. You’re also combining statistics from two different articles/sources in your latter paragraphs.

      Another point I didn’t make about the top statistics (from Nightline), is they made the (somewhat reasonable) assumption that women wouldn’t consider men with these faults – jail, no college, etc – dateable. That theory, however, is debatable but I think they would argue they had to start somewhere in determining what women are ideally looking for in a man.

      1. Ah ok, I didn’t gather fron your post that it was two different articles, I only saw the Nightline article listed as a source.
        I would like to do my own personal research, could you provide the source of te other article you gathered info from?

        1. Found it!

          I still wouldn’t take that as bible though. They still don’t state how they gathered there data and you know how Statistics goes…..

  7. People often forget who easily statistics can be played with to prove your point. One thing that stuck out to me was this

    The top five occupations for black men who make six figures without a college degree are: (1) managers, (2) truck drivers, (3) police officers, (4) construction workers, and (5) bailiffs, correctional officers, and jailers.

    It's crazy because I feel like a good amount of black women who do have degrees and are looking for a man with a "good job" usually pass these brothers over , because they don’t have and a suit and tie or they feel like a job of that nature won’t produce the lifestyle their looking for.

    1. Well, we also need to consider these six-figure professions are for men without college degrees. Some women won’t date a man that didn’t go to college regardless of his profession or income.

      1. Some women won't date a man that didn't go to college regardless of his profession or income"

        I never understood women like this especially TODAY (recession/bad economy/) because having a master's degree NO LONGER guarantees a higher income, hell it doesn't even guarantee a JOB anymore, my father worked for the Dept of Sanitation for years and retired and he did EXTREMLY well for himself, he owned real estate, land and put me through private school all without having a college degree and a stay at home wife.

        My Ex, owns and runs his own company which generates in the mid six figures per year and he does not have a college degree either.

        So I say to those women who refuse to date a man because he lack college credentials… GOOD LUCK and buy shares in Cat Nip.

        1. I’m glad your wrote this example. Not saying college isn’t good or doesn’t open doors for many people, but let’s not act like there aren’t people with 100,000 dollar degrees making only making 45,000 a year. Just because a man didn’t go to college doesn’t mean he dose not value education. Most men who don’t go to college usually work extremely hard for their kids to get their. Let’s be honesty most women want a man with a degree because they think he will generate more income which is true in most cases. But even with all the competition there are still good jobs (like the ones stated above) that don’t require a college degree just long hours and dedication. I know if I meet a sexy good man and he smart. I won’t let the fact that he handles garbage for a living stop me from giving the number especially if he’s making 50,000 or more hell I know sanitation workers with houses.

        2. "Just because a man didn't go to college doesn't mean he dose not value education."

          Exactly, it's just that sometimes certain circumstances make it unforeseeable for him to obtain higher learning so he has to take a different route.

        3. I may catch a barrage of dislikes for this one, but I think one important factor thats being left out in this discussion is compatability. Not dating a non-college educated man because you think they make less is the superficial aspect of it. Many women don't date non-college educated men because they often don't have much in common. I have dated both types, and I have found this to be true. This is not to say that it isn't possible, (My Dad is probably more knowledgeable about lots of different things in this world than like 85% of people that I know, and he is not college educated) it just hasn't happened for me thus far. Many of our experiences and fundamental viewpoints on life have just been too different.

          Now if I were to meet an amazing man who is a hard worker, intelligent, and we are compatible who happened not to have gone to college, I certainly wouldn't turn him away. I just don't think its fair to assume that the reasoning behind not dating these men is purely monetary…

        4. Compatibility counts but some ppl won’t even give a person a chance to find out if their compatible with the other person. Were not saying go to burger king and give the guy flipping the fries ya number but to think that a piece of paper would not make you compatible with a person who for ex: owns their own business but just doesn’t have a degree is a little crazy to me. Plus let’s not front the monetary aspect is the biggest aspect because the first thing a women mentions when describing a man is him having a “good job” $$$ .

    2. Honestly, how often does your college degree prepare you to enter into your professional field? College prepares you to think, to rationalize, gives you an incubator in order to mature, but it doesn't necessarily incline you to be intelligent and do the work set before you.
      My dad has worked as a truck driver for the past 13 years. Goes to work everyday, provides for his family, provides for his kids and grand-kids, goes on vacation, etc but he's never been to college. I would never say he's not smart or doesn't have a good job. He knows more about politics, world events, literary movements, and sports than I ever will.
      To me he's winning!
      My recent post I’ve been loving you too long

    3. I agree! But I think its because I know personally that a hard working man is a hard working man regardless of his career choice.

      My mother (accountant with a master's degree) married my father (NYC taxi driver) and 30 years later they are still together.

      So when looking for a mate I think it is more important to me for a man to have a strong work ethic rather than a ritzy career. Also he should be intelligent… but I dont think you have to have a degree to be so

  8. None of the new information surprised me. Despite the fact that the media has been going on and on about how hard it is for black women to get married to black men… I see black women marrying black men EVERY DAY. So… something about all the "research" wasn't really adding up for me.

  9. I'm surprised that anyone would be perplexed by the negative reactions to the latter part of his post. I'm supposed to be heading out, so I'll try to make this brief. I quickly scanned it and will quote the following:

    "Yes, we still are killing it in the dating world. We still got the power and can still justify our egos. We still are highly desired and in minimal numbers. If we get tired, we can be on to the next one before the “ex” is out the door. If we get afraid of committing … no problem … we’ll just “date” for 5 years straight with no labels and the option to smash other people. When your winning … you make the rules."

    Make no mistake about it, black women want black men to win. Ideally, we do all win together. In practice, and as SBM explicitly pointed out later, however, the black men who are "winning" as defined in his post are few and far between, giving them an upper hand that, as pointed out above, they can exploit at their will. And believe you me, a lot do. What that means, essentially, is that a lot of black women are losing. Yes, they can go outside of their race and all that lovely stuff, but let's for argument's sake only consider the woman in the corporate world who is looking for someone as outlined in his post.

    1. So basically black women lose when black men win because of the way winning and having so many options makes them behave according to that post.

      1. And if I may be so bold as to assert…this is a man/woman thing as well. Not to discount the particular nuances of the Black man/woman relationship. But the "men are winning, women are losing" battle crosses all races and ethnicity.

        *slips away*

        1. "But the "men are winning, women are losing" battle crosses all races and ethnicity."

          *GrabsStaritabyherLongGoldenTresses*

          Hey girl get back here :o)

          Care to give us some examples?

        2. Oh, I gotta have long, blonde hair now? You lucky you my girl… I'm a redhead for the record… as if that ish matters…

          For real? You want examples?
          Men, all types of men, like to have chexual relations with womens and not marry them.
          Men, all types of men, that are generally desirable by the masses (good looking, smart, good job, stable life) have many options of women, partly due to their less stringent dating requirements.
          Men, all types of men- even "good" ones- take advantage of women that put the man's needs above her own.
          Men, of all kinds, tend to want to "settle down" later in life.
          Men, of all types, tend to not stress on relationship things as heavy as women.
          Men, of all types cheat/degrade/go to jail/don't get educations/insert all other things that folks like to place on the Black population.

          Seems like when discussing white folks, people reference the best of the best white folks like they are the norm. And inversely, when referencing Black folks, people reference the worst of the worst Black folks like they are the norm. What about all of us in the middle, like the MAJORITY of us?

          It bugs me often that I hear Black folks talk about how good white folks have it…how white folks respect each other so much, how the white brothers so fiercely "protect their women" (!?!??!!??), and their men are so good to them and they get married and live happily ever after, how white women are the ultimate prize…since when? Like seriously. I understand the sentiment. That you mostly see skinny, white women as romantic leads, in commercials, on TV, on runways. That it sucks to not see more heroins that look like you (believe it or not, I feel the same way – just cause a chick is white doesn't mean that I identify with her).

          But look at your life – where's that unicorn of a skinny white woman in your life? She doesn't existrank. At least, she doesn't rank in my life..because that's not my experience, I got plenty of single girlfriends, white and Black and other, and even the married ones, have the saaaaame ishas with their men folks.

          Yeah, I've got some pretty, skinny, girlfriends with long blond hair…but they aren't that chick from the movies. They've been chexually assaulted by their dads, they've made some horrible decisions in college, they grew up very poor, they have missing fathers, they've pined for a (white) man for years only to be dogged out, they are single mothers. That white chick from the movies is propaganda if you ask me. I know it's easier for me to say, cause I'm not a Black woman. But that imaginary chick just doesn't rank in my life and I wish she didn't rank in any of my girlfriends lives. If a dude is dating a Black woman, good for him. If he's dating a Costa Rican woman, good for him. If he's dating a white woman, good for him. If I happen to like that dude, I'm sad either way if he's not dating me, but I just don't care if she's my skin color or not. Again, I realize that I'm white and can never fully comprehend "The Sting", I just wish that you didn't have to feel it either…trust me, ish sucks on both sides of the coin.

          *says 4 hail Mary's even though I'm not Catholic*

        3. *slow clap*

          I don't dismiss the racial aspect at all, but always thought the social/class aspect is never magnified enough in discussions revolving around things like this.

        4. LOL!

          I think its easy to get all "woe is me"/""I've got it worse than anybody"-ish when you dwell on your less than desirable circumstances.

          You threw reality back into the ring. You deserved the daps, girl…

        5. "If I happen to like that dude, I'm sad either way if he's not dating me, but I just don't care if she's my skin color or not"

          THIS!!! It's okay to be sad or hurt but it's certainly not ok to pile on top of that, the mental torture(or even worse, inferiority complex) that results from comparing.
          My recent post Got Colo(u)r?

    2. "Make no mistake about it, black women want black men to win. Ideally, we do all win together."

      "Make no mistake about it, black women want black men to win. Ideally, we do all win together."

      true, but this is what I meant when I cosigned Beef Bacon about unifying and folks got real up in arms about that. I won't touch on her intent as I don't know it nor the UNOI stuff but I do think teaming up and loving, caring, and supporting and genuinely being NICE to each other is how we BOTH WIN.

      Its really gotten to a point where pointing finger and landing insults has made us really defensive towards each other. It really makes me sad when I think about it. I know I'm only one person so I'm focused being the change I want to see in the world (and by world FOR ME, I mean black, heterosexual loving relationships).
      My recent post You said you were different…

      1. Defensive is right. We seem to permanently be at war with each other, and there's always a debate about whose side is the worst. And I agree with the above about how we both ultimately win. I can easily break down arguments from both sides, but more importantly I treat the black men I come across with kindness, respect and love (where applicable) unless or until I'm given a reason not to. It's sad to think that some consider me an exception because of this, for I am certainly not one.

  10. Thank You, WIM. I don't know why I was somewhat annoyed reading the tempered criticism that SBM (EBM) got last week. Announcing the engagement was a good ball of yarn to distract a few people away from the rest of the post though, so I do say kudos on both fronts, lol. But why is it a bad thing if Black men are indeed winning? Why would Black women feel the need to be threatened and/or become defensive at that statement? Aren't we ultimately in this together, or am I mistaken?

    As far as the new article, I was quick to tweet it. I even presented it as a "gift for the ladies" thinking it would be well received. I thought it confirmed a few things that I've seen. Where are all these men that are married to non-Black women? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I haven't seen interracial marriages. And I'm not against them either, but of all the other young, married Black professional men I know, they're all married to Black women.

    The "Successful Black Man White Trophy Wife" paradigm has been very overblown and overhyped. Even if you look at the lineup of last year's NBA All-Star Game, outside of Kobe, Mr. Kardashian, and Ray Allen the rest of the [married] players are married to Black women. The numbers just don't add up. But just like WIM said here, you're gonna believe what you want to believe despite little details like facts and a lack of evidence in the contrary. #KanyeShrug

    1. I co-sign your entire comment. As far as:

      But why is it a bad thing if Black men are indeed winning? Why would Black women feel the need to be threatened and/or become defensive at that statement? Aren’t we ultimately in this together, or am I mistaken?

      I really have no idea anymore. Maybe we’ll get some answers throughout the day…

      1. We love to see black men( win well at least I do). It’s just when u get into the dating realm everyone wants to win no one wants to lose and the women feel like they have been taking a beating. Some women feel like winning for men in the dating game is ( having countless options of good/ not so crazy women to choose from, stringing good women along or playing games until your 30 and still end up finding love regardless of your past). Basically no matter what BS yall do. “Men” some how can still end up with a cooked meal and a bed to lay in from some woman. Where as women can only make so many mistakes before they become “undatable” too damage etc…

        1. I see your point but in regards to age men are typically older than the women they date/women (in their 20s who’ve never been married) don’t usually like dating men younger than them. So it’s normal for men to be in their late 20s to early 30s when they “finally” decide to settle down. I don’t want to sound like I’m giving men a pass but at what point does a woman who’s being strung along have to accept responsibility for her stringability? If you’re not being fulfilled by a relationship and he is, what reason would HE have to end it?

        2. I agree I was”nt trying to give women a pass but I was just trying to explain how some view the situation. My focus is more on the “past issue” a woman’s pass can harm her future relationships sometimes, while a man past is just his past.

          Sidenote: some men are winning in regards to some women in the dating field b/c they don’t deal with bs, a man wants what he wants and doesn’t settle for anything else. If a man is hungry and wants a steak he will check every steak house until he finds the best for him. A woman will check a few until she is tried and too hungry and just settle for Mcdonalds. (Not all women but a few too many)

  11. These statistics have been rehashed time and again. One thing that's great about statistics is that you can present the numbers any way that you like to create a favorable outcome that supports your opinion. I still believe that people are individuals and that they create decisions based on their upbringing and personal preferences. Because of that, I still believe that there is someone out there for everyone and feel that black men and black women will still pull together in the end to create the desired outcome.

  12. There is a group of black men out there, late 20's early 30's, great career, fit and healthy, can probably date whomever they pursue..honor women of all races and are all around good dudes…..THESE GUYS ARE WINNING RIGHT NOW (i include myself in this group)…winning because they have the upper hand when it comes to selection..women (of all races) want these guys..as sad as it is its a rarity to be all of the things i mentioned above and be a black male at the same time…so yea we winning

    Black women have been "winning" for years…graduation rates, salaries and such have always been higher then that of blk men to my knowledge…loosing??? i don't think so..blk women are far from loosing…possibly loosing yall blk men to other races, but that's because ya'll don't date anything outside of black men..who's fault is that?

    1. When you suggest white men as the solution…you're sorta implying that Black men are the problem and I can't get down with that.

      1. I'm suggesting any man that fits ya needs as the solution. He can be purple, if he treats you like a queen then go inn…just be open to purple dudes thats all..lol

    2. Therein lies the reason black women are supposedly loosing.

      Do we know the stats of other races that date outside their own race? It'd be interesting to know. Do we hear other races continually harp on their women to date outside their race??

      I'm not holding brief for women who want to 'keep it in the race' but what is so wrong with that? A black woman wants a black man it's just sad that the black man don't want her back!!

      *gross generalization but you get the point*

  13. I always wondered why the media (and a percentage of black folks) think that because black women aren't getting married, we aren't winning. Even more from the 54% (roughly) of black women who aren't getting married, how many of them WANT to get married? How many of them actively search for marriage-minded men?
    Personally, I get EXCITED when I see black men winning. I don't care if you marry white, black, asian, latina, etc I just want to see MEN get MARRIED. Yea, I said it! Do you know how hard it is to get a man to commit? Are we joking here? I would rather see them married to someone, then see another fellow woman, single the rest of her life!
    I've never met a woman yet that didn't get married who wanted to be married. But it seems like once they attain the glorified trophy they stop polishing it. So another statistic that interests me is how many of the 46% of women who are married get divorced? And how many of them are on their… 2nd, 3rd, 4th marriage? And of the x% of men that get married in this study are faithful to their wives? How many are violent?
    I think in order to determine whether black people as a whole are #winning i'd like to see us working to become holistic beings before we buy into these crappy studies that depress us more.
    My recent post I’ve been loving you too long

  14. Well that's what happens when you let people interpret statistics. Regardless, the other post about black men winning was in reference to dating and 'smanging' because most other black men are doing terrible that even the mediocre black men look great by comparison. It was not about black men 'winning' because they continue to marry black women in droves.

    For the second set of data quoted, I agree with your second interpretation.

  15. "Depending on your viewpoint, dating a broke popular rapper is better than dating an unknown well-off correctional officer…I guess."'

    There's some truth to this. Social status goes a long way.

  16. It's funny when they do the filtering 100 black men based on eligibility……yet they NEVER do that to sisters. There's always this unspoken assumption that either all sisters are eligible, or all sisters with degrees and good jobs are eligible. And that's Far from the truth.

    What if you filtered out sisters based on what men wanted.

    After you remove the sisters who:
    Are Overweight
    Have kids (many eligible men don't want a microwave family and want to build a family from scratch if they have no kids)
    Can't cook
    Have bad attitudes
    Don't respect men
    Come to the table empty handed
    Frankly ARE NOT attractive
    And whatever else men don't desire.

    Once you removed all the sisters that aren't eligible based on what MEN want, I'd bet you have a small percentage remaining, similar to the same size of the eligible brothers who made the cut.

    The problem is the eligible brothers and sisters aren't meeting each other because the field is cluttered with undesirables.

    Not to mention that no matter what their situation is, seems like Every sister STILL thinks they're a catch and deserve the best of the best of brothers.

    1. “Not to mention that no matter what their situation is, seems like Every sister STILL thinks they’re a catch and deserve the best of the best of brothers”

      Men think they deserve the best of the best too. brothers do the same thing, say they don’t won’t the things listed above , but don’t meet those requirements themselves ( can’t cook, has no kids, really in shape, respects all women, not selfish, come to the table with nothing ok/ maybe good sometimes sex, no that damn cute)

      1. We aren't disagreeing with you in your statement, just making the point that the argument is never flipped to look at from the Black Male perspective. If we are looking for mutual understanding, the statistics have to show the other side of the story.

        Either way, there is a lot of people thinking their sh!t don't stink..

        1. no I understand I was trying to make that point too, its not men, its not women its people in general that think their god’s gift when their really just a pain in the butt

    2. @Rick

      I think you got it all in there…

      Coming from an entitled brotha who will "end up with a cooked meal and a bed to lay in from some white woman."

      #Mooch

      SSTTE

    3. Well, if you want to get technical….

      Non-black women are always put on this pedestal as if they have BW beat when it comes to your list. HOWEVER, have you ever thought to look at the picture in its entirety? Non-black women are protected and honored by their men as a whole. If women were made for men, its safe to say the women are a direct reflection of the state of the MEN.

      1. "If women were made for men, its safe to say the women are a direct reflection of the state of the MEN."

        Interesting….. *rubschin8

        Fellas… what say you?

    4. You bring up an interesting perspective…one that I can't necessarily 100% disagree with. I was thinking about this the other day. I see a few women on the interwebs tweeting, status updating, etc.. about I can't find a good man….and see men boo-hooing about no good women out here, etc…Next thing I see is said woman tombout they had to give out 3 fake numbers this weekend, lol.

      At any rate, someone said earlier that social status is important. I think a somewhat disconnect is that it appears women, generally speaking (not all), are only open to someone with a similar social status or one that's above theirs. Contrastly, Men it seems are open to…well…any woman really, lol…but generally someone with a social status at his level or below. I believe this leads to Men, that are at an equal level of accomplishment of Women, having a wider dating pool.

      1. I have no sympathy for these people, be they male or female.

        Frustrated Person: I can’t find a good (wo)man anywhere out here. I’ve tried everything.

        Me: Really? Tell me the last 25 places you’ve been with the intention of meeting someone new.

        FP: 25?!? Damn, I ain’t got time for all that.

        Me: Okay, how about the last 12?

        FP: Nevermind, you don’t get it.

        This is the summation of many, many different conversations I’ve either had or been privy to. Don’t whine and complain about what you don’t have and then say what you “don’t have time to do.” If you want something you haven’t had, you have to do something you haven’t done.

        1. lol ture but at least for women when we go looking we either find more of a headache or people try to call you thirsty. Think about the show "Girlfriends" Joan use to go all over looking for men and her friends would just shake their head. Damn Joan.

  17. Damn.. Did you guys change the comment section again? I can’t keep up anymore.

    “Basically no matter what BS yall do. “Men” some how can still end up with a cooked meal and a bed to lay in from some woman. Where as women can only make so many mistakes before they become “undatable” too damage etc…”

    Sad Truth.

    1. Here is the deal

      If your internet is flawless, you will get "IntenseDebate"… If your internet is slow & sputtering… You will get the original comment section which will Mighty Morph into "IntenseDebate" once you comment…

      Happens on Lincoln's TIYCs site too…

    1. I hate you sooooo much for that pic! LAWDAMERCY, I can't stand you Rita! That was too funny.

      *purchases I_HATE_RITA.com url*

  18. Meb and women winning are mutually exclusive. Its like we are two separate sports all together or in the same league but different conferences or divisions.

    Men are like the Afc north or easr. Women are the nfc west

  19. According to the stats, most black men, of all incomes and professions, are married to black women. And the truth is, most of you who comment on the site, constantly repeating this "black women should explore their options" notion, will marry a black woman, too. So, what are we really talking about here? Black women want to marry black men, and overwhelmingly, according to those stats, black men want and will marry a black woman. Looks like we're all winning!!

  20. As a mom to a son, I constantly reinforce the fact that black women are beautiful to my son, and thats where I think it begins. Alot of men my age are quick to disrespect black women but think white women are the ultimate prize, and I often wonder what they think of their own mother, and what their home life was like for them to have these type of views as an adult.
    Beautiful picture for the post too, I love it.

  21. I am truly amazed that just because a handful of us have gotten some money that we consider ourselves "winning'…WOW!

    The prisons are full of…..
    Unemployment is currently affecting…..the most
    Most out of wedlock children come from….
    Highest rates of STI's are affecting…..
    …. people are the least educated

    Add whatever worst possible scenario to the list and tell me what actually are BW or BM winning?

    Self preservation is understandable (that comes first naturally) however, what about the us as a WHOLE…how are WE doing? Our situation as a whole is what needs to be looked at.

    The difference between US and the other people doing better is…U-N-I-T-Y. Most of of would be winning as opposed to just a handful.

    I can't celebrate anybody winning until a 49 year old Blackman won't get beat down in Mississippi anymore JUST because he is black.

    1. Well by your logic if we purged the world of stupid people then we will all be winning. Humans have always found a way to exclude and then discriminate.

      Keep working on your method…I’ll work on mine

      1. Discriminate? How am I discriminating by wanting us to to want more and do our best? That's not my logic ;). I did not say I would come back to take away wrong from this world so it could be paradise…did I? Don't give me the credit….I have no idea what works best for us, but I am willing to learn, I'll say that much.

  22. I dunno…maybe I'd feel some kind of way about these statistics if I felt I was in danger of ultimately never obtaining what I desire…a loving, healthy marriage to a great black man. I've never felt that way…even after experiencing a divorce…and I still don't.

    I'll admit that I prefer men with glossy careers and hobbies…and obvious intelligence (if that makes sense). I was recently kinda reprimanded by my Cuz who told me that Barbers can actually make a lot of money. My response: "Well, can I at least expect the brotha to own the shop? Be the top Barber in the city?" LOL…pray for me. This post, and the visual of her shaking her head at my superficial response, made me wanna address my superficiality…to a degree, lol. The first step is admitting you have a problem. Truth is, I've always known that, lol. I just need help desiring to change it…

    Lastly, I'm only bothered when I see a white woman with a man I want…which rarely happens, lol. Plus, I'd be bothered by any woman with a man I want, lol…so ummm, yeah, lol.

    1. Lastly, I'm only bothered when I see a white woman with a man I want…which rarely happens, lol. Plus, I'd be bothered by any woman with a man I want, lol…so ummm, yeah, lol.

      That is how I feel about any taken attractive woman

  23. Being a number nerd myself. I always love exploiting the flaws in statistics. Not showing the overlapping in categories pretty much negates every point made after it. Pretty sure that the dude in Jail is also the dude UNEMPLOYED. and the #'s are proabably closer to 80% of "eligible" black males.

    The second stat shows what black men already know. We continue to date and marry black women by a Super Majority. We all know when to play and when to come home.

    In the black men and women are winning, and other black men and women are losing. Simple and plain.

    1. Being a number nerd myself I say there are no 'flaws' in statistics…. just the way they are presented

      The problem is most people do not really understand statistics and the people using stats know this.

  24. This is part of the problem with relationships: We (as a people) tend to look at relationships as a win-lose situation, which promotes an adversarial mentality and the need to be getting over. Successful relationships are a win-win, not win-lose. The sooner people realize that, and look at relationships as a merger, not an acquisition, the better off they'd be.

  25. From what I've heard from and from experience and from what I've seen there are a number of very successful intelligent "got it goin on" single good and decent black men. Especially in the DMV.
    Has it ever occured to folks that not many black men marry because of our "human natured pickyness" and they never find the "pure perfection" in a woman that they search for.
    You also have men who aren't ready to get married and be with one woman…like George Clooney. Handsome successful elgible bachelor…everyone says he needs to get married but he just doesn't want to for his own personal reasons..simple as that.

  26. Previous Comment Continued……..
    Or you have great successful men who get in long-term relationships with great successful women but they aren't on the same page. They don't want the same things long-term, or the woman is rushing him and pressuring him to get married and he is just not ready and/or not sure she is "the one".
    Also ladies please be mindful of the fact that the "truly intelligent and responsible and mature" brothers honestly do want to have their finances and their life in order before they commit to marrying and having children and their is nothing at all wrong with this. In fact this is a great thing because it shows how responsible this guy is and that truly wants to be prepared as best he can to be the best husband and father that he can be…..now ladies I dare yall to tell me this is a problem for you??? If it is then you have the problem…not the man.(something to think about)

  27. Previous Comment Continued…..
    So from what I know from having this convo with many brothers reasons why more sisters aren't married have little to nothing to do with good black men marrying white women.
    Honestly it's that they are striving to marry the best black woman they can possibly find……problem is they can't find her.

  28. Previous Comment Continued…….
    I know it's a hard pill to swallow because folks rarely wanna take responsibliltiy for their sh** and their own short-comings and problems but the fact of the matter is…..We are the reason more black men aren't marry us. We are part of the problem. We are not the kind of women black men want to marry.
    And it's sad that so many beautiful black sista's who are attractive, sexy, and well educated with great careers and who are independent can't keep good black men satisfied and happy long enough to want to marry you because of some things Your Doing and how Your Treating Him.
    I know many women won't like this and don't want to hear it…….but it is what it is.
    To get what you want the change should start with You, not necessarily just the men.

  29. I think Rick's Comment summed it up best

    The problem is the eligible brothers and sisters aren't meeting each other because the field is cluttered with undesirables.

    The reason why black men are winning and women think they are losing is because men have the upper hand. The eligible men with the qualities that every woman wants know/think they are the best of the best and can and do as they please. Yall show it everyday on comments and the things you post. You get to run through your pick of woman with out anyone labeling you anything, your just dating and trying to find the one.

    For a woman it gets disheartening especially when she wants and need to sift through all the men as well until she finds the eligible, but as she shifting through that she can't date and get to know men because then she is labeled something. Like another commenter said Where as women can only make so many mistakes before they become “undatable” too damage etc…"

    The dating scene would be a lot easier if all the eligible's (with references) were meeting up at the same time and same place and all the undesirables were left at home

    It would be like the millionaire matchmaker for us, who wants to fill out an application and turn it in with their picture and w-9?

    1. Ivory I agree with your points as well……many black folks don't get out enough and do things like going to museums and hiking and camping or art shows and things like that.
      I'm about to be like Patty the millionaire match-maker and open up my own dating service….

    2. 100% agree ( women can date as they please they just can’t get caught lol. You also don’t have to sleep with everyone you date; that way you don’t have to worry about a label if hoe was the label you were referring to)

      1. Yes and no cause there are plenty of girls who go out on plenty of dates with guys no stirring the cocoa involved but its still a topic of conversations. Assumption is an MF! and you know this. You see a chick always tweeting fb whatever about going out with different men and many folks will assume that she is stirring the cocoa as well.
        Let a dude do it and he is just dating! lol

        1. "You see a chick always tweeting fb whatever about going out with different men and many folks will assume that she is stirring the cocoa as well."

          She's her own worst enemy.. *smh*

          Discretion Ladies……

        2. Exactly, why is she tweeting all of her business? This isn't a reality show. The world doesn't care about your day to day activities.

    3. Well, men biological imperative is $3x, whereas a woman's is commitment from a high quality man…

      To get a man to commit, you have to sweeten the deal for him…

      And I have said to infinity & beyond, committing to a woman in Western Society in 2011 is like playing Russian Roulette with your financial & psychological health…

  30. I just feel that the based on the parameters listed in Friday's post, the bar for "winning" was set really low. I'm all for high self-esteem, but y'all were patting yourself on the back using a mediocre level of accomplishment as evidence of winner status. I'm just saying as a people, we need to aspire for higher.

  31. I'm torn on this whole topic in general. When I read most of the publications, blogs, or whatever posting these types of stories and stats as WIM indicated, I feel like they don't apply to me or anybody I associate with. If those with similar interest flock together, then I guess that makes complete sense.

    Black men who want to marry outside of the race have always been open to that, but just weren't around other races until their success or hustle led them to an environment with exactly that (Noted in post). And if you're a decent looking dude that's well-versed in interacting with a diverse group of folks, of course you're gonna win. I don't think it becomes an issue of who's a trophy and who's not. I also don't think it's an issue of who's losing. In general, I believe people need to be more flexible with their dating standards if they consistently talk about the shortage.

    But then there are the other black dudes. The ones who may not have been as fortunate as me or any of my cohorts. The ones that can always be seen in the passenger side of their white girlfriend's car. You know who I mean. The dudes that usually never left their hometown and are content to toil there forever. They're also the type to get a little bit of money and head straight for the bad bunnies (no offense. the rhyme worked). Their mindset is completely different because of their life experiences. This applies to rappers and whatever else.

    Random thought:

    Losing is necessary for greatness. We learn some of the greatest lessons in life from taking losses. If anything, folks should be flipping "the losses" into something they can apply in their lives moving forward. There's a lot of complaining these days, but little action.

    My recent post Motivation, Laziness, and an Empty Fridge

    1. My sentiments exactly Slim….Folks need to not over-analyze every little thing people do and say and make more out of it than what it is.
      True some folks get together for the wrong reasons…but thats true within every race and culture…Some folks get with a person because of their financial status or their looks or whatever the superficial reason….has nothing to do with race.
      I've honestly never known any black man to say I purposely will only ever date and/or marry a white woman.
      If anything I've heard many men I know say "I love my sisters and I will never date outside of my race" and I'm the one telling them to be more open-minded and open to all the possibilities.

  32. AWW, that pic is too adorable. Wait a sec….looks again…realizes that everyone in that pic is sleep and comfy except one person….mom gotta make sure none of them babies slide off daddy's back…so everybody gets to doze off but mom?…DAMN YOU BLACK MAN, YOU WIN AGAIN!

    What can I say? I'm done with this weird fascination we have with Black people dating/mating/childbearing habits. We're like the Venus Hottentot of the 21st century. I see my people doing well all around me, folks who weren't doing so well before. Folks working in a bad economy. Going to church. Winning. If you have something to be grateful for you're winning, that includes all of us. Even 'Rita, who I still hate, lol.

    1. LMAO!!!!!! –> "DAMN YOU BLACK MAN, YOU WIN AGAIN! "

      "I see my people doing well all around me, folks who weren't doing so well before. Folks working in a bad economy. Going to church. Winning. If you have something to be grateful for you're winning, that includes all of us."
      ALL OF THIS!!!!!

      And you know … http://bit.ly/pMlSht 🙂

    2. Teflon this line is soooo on point " If you have something to be grateful for you're winning"
      So very true and such a great perspective….Props for that sis….*smile*

  33. Getting married is easy – ain't nothin' to it but to do it! Notice I said getting married is easy, actually being married/marriage is not. But way more folks (Black women/myself included) could be married if they/I really wanted to be. The question is would they be in "happy" marriages? Would they be content? Seemingly on the surface, the hows and the whys of people getting married have changed over the years – we aren't living on farms and popping out 12 kids to work the land, women don't necessarily need their husband's income to support them, an unmarried woman is no longer the bane of society (allegedly), and let's not forget the illusions of choices and the refusal to settle! With the passing of Nick Ashford, did y'all know he was homeless when he met Valerie? Came to her church looking for a meal. Would this happen now? Could this happen now? Point is it's plenty of good, nice folks out in this world, looking for a good, nice mate/help partner, etc. Just gotta find what's good and nice for you. And that's where the drama begins…
    My recent post Why Worry Wednesday?

    1. Great points Diana….As Savon said in my fav movie Love Jones…"Getting married ain't sh** …somebody please tell me how to stay there"

  34. WIM, thank you so much for pointing out the overlapping factor. I have been screaming at the reporters on my tv for years regarding this. 🙂

    Also, while the reports state the owerwhelming percentages of the unemployed, uneducated and incarcerated, my female associates are often remarking on the too short, wrong profession and wrong style characteristics they have an aversion to. Then they go on to date men that meet their requirements but refuse to commit because they want a woman with longer hair, sexier legs and flatter stomachs.

    If a man wants to date women outside of their race it doesn’t affect me in the least. Quite frankly it actually helps me clear distractions from my view and allows me to see the real selection. Wasting time on an attraction to one who is not completely attracted to you is in itself preventing some from being in a relationship headed toward marital bliss.

    “Still, I noticed a number of comments attacking the points put forth in the blog supporting the notion, “black men are winning.” I began to wonder why. If someone states black men are winning, does it indirectly imply that black women are losing?” – I was wondering the same thing. I was happy to hear black men declare their feelings of winning and saddened to see black women take offense to it.

    And finally, your photo selection touched me deeply. It embodies my feelings of family and motherhood. It honors the black family. It is simply beautiful.

  35. Uh oh. They talking about the Black man choosing a NON black woman. I guess Dr. J chose to stay outta this one. LMAO!

  36. Am I the only one who isn't receiving comments to my inbox even though I subscribed to the post earlier in the day?

    1. The vast majority of black men who marry, marry black women and ya'll huffing and puffing over the minority?

      Pretty much sums it up. I think it's WHO'S in the minority that gives them problems. When it's superstar athletes and movie stars, the social elites, that's what bothers them.

  37. In what world do black women lose??? In reality we all need to start working together and figuring out how as a race do the men allow us, the women, to be talked about and riduiculed. Black women aren't married-ok so marry us. Black women are single moms- ok stay with ol girl. Black women are angry- ok soothe us and give us reasons to be pleasant. It is not rocket science.
    My recent post Mystically Surreal

  38. Funny even though the statistics show that BM are losing economically, educationally, and legally, they seem to think they are still winning. Maybe BW need to adopt that same inflated sense of self. Sisters, my world changed for the better when stopped dating Black men exclusively. Those doctors and lawyers you want are on the other side of the fence – stop trying to find a needle in a haystack and play games you know you can win. Ditch the weaves and afros and stop hanging at watering holes with mostly Black patrons. Hand with your white or other coworkers after work and go to their spots. Start working out and eating healthy to boost your confidence and attract men with healthy attitudes. Now I am dating an African engineer that is kind, smart, confident (not arrogant), has no problem letting me be a woman. After i started to think positively BM suddenly started approaching me. The “good” BM at my job who would turn his nose up at every sister in the company suddenly wants to strike up conversations every since he saw my Cuban date at the office cocktail function. Poor thing thinks he’s entitled because he’s a BM who’s “winning.”

  39. I like start by saying I love black women. Men choose good women based how the treat them and make them feel It's economicbut it moreabout who you trust i find and some people find that in mates of other races and being 30 alot of us were raised to believe we are all equal and you don't judge some one by their skin color. So some black men are going to marry white women damn even richard pryor did. They're isn't a shortage women are just more shallow than we think.

    My recent post Marriage?

  40. Delayed. Black men and white women are losing. If it's one thing white people know and respect about marriage it's the potential for wealth and asset building and that two is better than one. While I would love to be married for all the romantical, lovey dovey reasons – I also long for the day when I can call up Suze Orman and tell her we make X amount a month and have 500k in our retirement fund and 200k in our savings. Like BAM, BAM! But that's just me…
    My recent post Angels We Have Heard On High

  41. Thanks a bunch for sharing this with all people you really know what you are talking about! Bookmarked. Please additionally discuss with my website =). We will have a link alternate agreement among us

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