Home Featured Will & Jada: Don’t Cry. This Is Not Your Life.

Will & Jada: Don’t Cry. This Is Not Your Life.

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We are not role models. Live y'all lives!

Streetz

I understand that some women look at successful marriages and relationships as the beacon of hope for them. In this cold, single struggle of a universe, we can look towards Will and Jada for a sense of solidarity and love. Well, I’m here to say that relying solely on people like them for your inspiration is beyond irrational. Here are a few reasons:

1) You don’t KNOW them like that! You don’t wake up with them in the same bed every night (unless the Will and Jada swinger rumors are true), and you don’t walk every day in their shoes. You don’t know their daily relationship issues. Men and women always have that one thing that they can’t stand about another person in a relationship, yet they tolerate it out of love. What if one of them was fed up and left? What if they had issues that were insurmountable? What if there were previous relationship issues swept under the rug that were hidden that resurfaced at the wrong time? Well we wouldn’t know because…. WE DON’T KNOW THEM MAN!!!

2) Perception does not always = reality. I know in a past relationship everyone that “knew” us thought we were super tight and that nothing could break us up. Needless to say that union was divided eventually. People know how to keep a brave face despite issues, and always want the facade of success to permeate through their aura in order to deflect any inherent criticism from the masses. We eat that up because we see ourselves in them, and hope to be like them. yet we act like they don’t have the same type of problems “normal people do.”

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Life isn’t perfect. We all have issues. Putting blind faith in high profile relationships is a recipe for disaster. We don’t know the inner workings, their past, or their current difficulties. We need to remember that the quest to love is a marathon and not a sprint. A successful relationship takes more than blind faith, it takes work. Stop believing in Fairy Tales and hoop dreams and start believing in real life and real work. God forbid Barack cheats on Michelle, the Matrix will have to be reloaded!

Dr. J

You’re onto something Big Bro — for that is the inevitable question. What if Michelle and Barack didn’t make it?  What would it mean to Black America and what would it mean to Black love?  For Black people in America, Michelle and Barack represent everything that we strive to be.  But here’s what I ask: what is it about Michelle and Barack that represent Black America?  What is it about any of these people that ever adequately represents Black America?  Not every African-American will go to an Ivy League school. Not everyone will practice law. Not everyone will have the opportunity to be a community organizer and eventually get a six figure job.  Less than 0.001% of all Black men will ever have the opportunity to be President of the United States. And breaking that down further with a 12% chance that a powerful Black man marries outside of his race, it’s even less likely that there will ever be another Black First Lady of the United States.  So if Michelle and Barack didn’t make it, it would be another political couple that didn’t make it.  I’m not gon’ cry. It’s not the time cause they’re not worth my tears.

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When we cheer for celebrities like Will & Jada, Bobby & Whitney, Halle & Eric, or even when Kenny & Chante break up, we’re left feeling lost.  But when we look inside ourselves, what about us is anything like these people?  To be honest with you, I’m more interested in cheering for Mr. and Mrs. Most. Those are the people who resemble me.  I’d be devastated if I ever heard anything bad about their bond. But I’m sure I won’t because unlike the celebrities and the notables, they are people like me.  I’m not surprised and I don’t spend time thinking about those who I have nothing in common with because I’m not sure their lives are wrong, but I’m not sure they’re right either.

PS – I always thought something was up with Lena when Piccolo came to visit her and nobody believed for a second that he was really dating that girl.  I’m done.

Slim

I’m just happy to be here closing out this post. I feel like I’m on the Monster track with Kanye, Jay, and Nicki. Gossip gossip, everybody stop it. Everybody knows there’s a 50% divorce rate. What do y’all think about this Will and Jada fiasco? Gossip or not, the news of their possible breakup rattled a lot of people at a level that would have you thinkin’ these are personal family and friends. I’m all in favor of folks feeling how they feel, but sometimes it goes too far. Drop your thoughts in the comments. Let’s make this a good one!

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Hoping for successful marriage and dreams achieved,

Team SBM

Save the Date! Next Wednesday, August 31, 2011 – The SBM Fam will be hosting Happy Hour at The Empire Room at The Empire State Building from 6-10pm, please RSVP to [email protected] for further information and confirmation

Comment(71)

  1. Well, I’m here to say that relying solely on people like them for your inspiration is beyond irrational.

    Lord have mercy! I have been screaming this^^^ all week. People are really taking this ish to heart. Seeing a celeb couple break up has no ramifications on my life, how i view love and how successfully i think my own future marriage. Honestly, i have no clue why people are getting so riled up.
    My recent post Friends with Benefits

  2. I always thought it is best to look up to relationships that most closely mirror your situation. Now, if I was a sexy petite black actress who never seemed to age, then I would be crying if I heard that Will and Jada broke up. Their relationship is a celebrity relationship after all. They live in the spotlight, spend months away from each other on film sets and live life in a fish bowl. Being an actress I know my relationship would go through the same hurdles and seeing them fail, despite their extreme amounts of PDA would make me fearful for my own relationship. But I'm just a 20something from Jersey. I rather find relationship role models in my community.

    I admire Will and Jada because they are celebrities that manage to stay together, but I won't be shedding tears if they decide to call it quits.
    My recent post NYC Earthquake 2011

  3. Ok maybe I'm in the matrix here, but did anyone ever REALLY cling to Will and Jada as their last hope for successful black marriage? I mean REALLY? I tend to gloss over sentiments like that as simple theatrics. " OMG Will and Jada are no more?! Black marriage is surely doomed now!!!" just sounds like something I'd say to be dramatic as opposed to actually believing it. Now I'm guessing there may be some small percentage of folk out there who genuinely did feel devastation due to the rumor, but they are far from the majority. Who knows, maybe they really don't have any personal examples of successful black marriage in their lives, in which case that is an even more troubling issue…

  4. On the other hand, I don't think its wrong to be sad if a celebrity/public spotlight couple such as them don't make it. (Many of us did essentially grow up watching Will and/or Jada. #Shouts to Dr. J for that A Different World reference!) Barack and Michelle especially, because at one point before his success, they were just an average struggling couple like anyone else. No we don't know them personally , but you can't help but root for them anyway. Lasting black marriages (not just shackin-up "wifey" relations) aren't extremely common these days (neither is lasting marriage among any race for that matter) so I personally dont like to see any of them fail. Now of course I'd be much more devastated to see Mr. & Mrs. Most split, but yall see what I'm gettin at…

    *Sidebar I heard the breakup rumor isnt true anyway. *throws confetti*

  5. I heard that the oldest kid came forth and said it was a rumor. So people might be getting all flustered for nothing. That being said, I get disappointed when I hear that ANY marriage is shaky or ending. When I heard that they may be separating before I heard that it was a rumor, I thought “Aw man, not Will and Jayda! They seemed so happy.” Then, “another one bites the dust” accompanied with a shrug. It just so happens that I have a friend who is separating from her husband right now. That overshadowed Will and Jayda’s problem for me.

  6. First thought…oh yall redecorated up in here, nice. Now to the post

    Will and Jada’s marriage doesnt affect me, because my marriage will likely never be like Will & Jada’s I’m sure my wife aint gonna let me smash other chicks or is that a rumor too . I look for inspiration in my family marriages (though sadly there are some horrible examples but “thats family business” (c) Yeezy) and i look for inspiration in my friends marriages. Black marriage is dying but Barack and Michelle aint gonna save it.

  7. One thing I wanted to add but didn't due to the nature of this post… You have to take into consideration what you try and take away from celebrities. Will & Jada are entertainers, and we get entertainment from them based on the characters they play. You don't go to your hair dresser and ask for groceries, so I don't understand why you go to entertainers and ask for relationship guidance or advice. That's what's so problematic about this:

    1) Steve Harvey — A three-time married and divorced man giving relationship advice, he's a comedian, not a relationship specialist, he doesn't have the resume.
    2) Mo'Nique – A comedian, who is telling women, I let my man sleep with other women, but I have no desire to do so myself. That's not an open relationship, that's your man cheating on you and you trying to justify it to save face.
    3) Halle – I know a lot of people look at Halle and say, "She can't keep a man" I don't care about those people. I care about those people who look at Halle and quit. If you think that because Halle can't find a man, no one can find a man, then you need to stop looking at Halle. Maybe the problem is Halle, or maybe Halle just ain't never really been interested in having a man her whole life.
    4) Will & Jada – I would LOVE to dig into this "open relationship" thing that has gone around for years, but i'm going to touch on it on my blog early next week. The rumor is that Jada was cheating with Marc and Will found out and flipped. I think there's a better chance she was cheating with Regina King than that. But that's just my opinion. All that to say, until I see some paperwork, I really can't say with sincerity they're breaking up or even why.
    My recent post Morning Mail – 8.25.11

    1. "Steve Harvey — A three-time married and divorced man giving relationship advice, he's a comedian, not a relationship specialist, he doesn't have the resume."

      Failure DOES give people insight/wisdom. Yes, you don't want to emulate them completely but he's probably learned a thing or two along the way that someone's who's never been married may be unaware of. Not that I like Steve Harvey, read that act like a man or something book and i thought most of it was bollocks.
      My recent post Got Colo(u)r?

        1. Really? lol I will just confess and say that I like the discourse that comes from 'arguing' – sometimes. But that is not the case here.

          I agree with you in that maybe steve harvey is not the person to take relationship advice from…I was just saying that two/three failed marriages should not be the basis for that conclusion because people do infact get wiser from failure. Personally, I came to that conclusion after reading his book.

          Sorry about the caps…I wasn't shouting, i just did that to emphasize the word since there isn't a way to italicize.
          My recent post Got Colo(u)r?

  8. First and foremost, folks gotta be happy or they'll make us miserable too!

    I think Will and Jada were idolized as the "Ozzie and Ruby" of the 21st century for black folks…celebrities and actors with a decent reputation for their crafts, Will and Jada's union to many people is happy and successful, and when two happy, successful people come together, they bring with them the energy that promotes and creates happy and successful. They're both likable as individuals whether you like one more than the other, there are few people, unless they are haters typically that dislike both of them (Will appears to friendly to dislike and while Jada comes off as a b sometimes, she's a b for a reason and that's my kinda b-sistah. Whether its a fantasy or a figment, is up to the viewer, but things like 2 beautiful and creative children in Jaden and Willow don't really make the dream seem so figment. So, I'm sad to hear if the rumors are true personally because I'd like to see more successful black couples that are media-profiled staying together, since I don't consider Steve Harvey's last attempt at marriage an example and there are some others but not as many that are this generation or as relevant with successful creative work and reasonably good personalities to show for it.

  9. LOL I mean I was kinda surprised but overall I didn't really care. Their relationship has nothing to do with me, but I hate to see any family break apart, black or white, celebrity or not. But I'm ROFL at the Lena/Piccolo reference. Yea I thought he was hitting that. But I mean it's Tupac, can you blame her?

  10. I hardly ever know what's going on with Hollywood couples, so I tend to find out about breakups 3+ years after the fact. I saw a FB status related to Jada & Will, though, and I simply commented that it was possibly a rumour, but in the event that it wasn't, I hoped they manage to work things out…depending on why they broke up. I knew I would forget about them within the next 10 minutes, and I didn't bother to look further into it. I smile when I see couples like Will & Jada who have been going strong and seem happy, but their lives don't affect or mirror mine in any way. If my best friend and her bf of almost a decade happened to break up tomorrow, I wouldn't be devastated then, either. It doesn't mean I don't care, because I do. It just means that I do not base my chances of success on them or their relationship. My girl and I are very different people, as are the men we date. It simply wouldn't make sense.

  11. I think any marriage in general that is in trouble is sad to say the least. True, they are celebrities; however, they are still people with feelings. Having money does not take away from the reality of what everyone experiences during a divorce.

    I may not cry for them, but I will have sympathy for them. Although they are celebrities, I am sure they desire for their marriage to last just as I do. A celebrity is a person.

    1. You don't know that though. There are several different perspectives on marriage. There are some people who get married and already know in their mind that if it doesn't work out for them in a few years, they'll just file divorce. We don't know if Will and Jada just wanted to be married while they had and raised their kids to the point that they are now. The reason why I would advise you to look away from their relationships is because they don't subscribe to the same school of thought as you, or you cannot confirm that they do.
      My recent post Morning Mail – 8.25.11

    2. The majority of the time celebrities marry to further whatever their personal brand or public persona is. They both go in knowing that. J. Lo didn't marry Marc Anthony because she was attracted to him. She tried to corner the Latin market, kinda backfired on her.

  12. Lena and Piccolo almost made ma fall out with laughter. I agree with #2. I teach it to my students all the time. Perception vs Reality is a mofo (ok I don’t teach that). Either way what people assume is not always what is real.

  13. This is so odd. I like the new Comments section/system, but I’m not getting comment updates to my inbox, it’s now giving me Mobile theme and won’t allow me to shut it off even though I’m on my laptop, and I think my comment disappeared. It’s probably still there, but..yeah.

  14. Idk what to make of it… I know as a bachelor, I don't look to Will Smith for dating, mating & relating… & as a future parent, I would hope that my influence will be a stronger influence than a celebrity influence…

    If the rumors hold up, Will Smith needs to go younger anyway, & Jada is going to have enjoy the trappings of Cougarhood touching 40…

  15. All the 'No hope for (black) marriages' comments i read when the 'rumor' broke was funny and slightly irritating after a while. I truly hope everyone was just being dramatic. I concur 100% with Dr J…we typically have nothing in common with celebs so why should be our standard?
    It's also herd mentality, i think….everyone is saying it, it seems to make sense/shows empathy, let me say it too.

    We have parents that are still together after xx years and folks wanna use Jada and Will as a compass…GTFOH!!

  16. I totally agree with this post. I really don’t care for celebrities and relationships because we don’t live the same life. These people have little to no privacy and have to constantly be on the public eye. You think you know them but you don’t because half of the shyt we hear about them is not true. Unfortunately some people look at them as role models because they don’t have anyone else or so they think. Sad but true. I am blessed because I have a example at home. My parents have been married for over 15yrs. I have never seen them argue or do it. Thank u Jesus. I know they do both but they make sure is done when we not home. That’s what I look up to not these folks who I seen on tv. Because like Streetz said we dont know them! Well done guys, see y’all at the happy hr!

  17. Ossie and Ruby had an open marriage and said it really worked for them. Maybe that’s why Will and Jada chose to go that route?

    Anyway, I wasn’t depressed about the rumor, cuz I refused to believe it until I saw the receipts. I was really rooting for them as a couple, I was surprised to see the extent that other people were rooting for them too. I liked them cuz I think their published statements on marriage were really mature and well thoughtout. They also mirrored my own beliefs that in a successful marriage, partners must be committed to the commitment, not just to each other. It was in line with what my parents told me was key for their relationship, and they just passed their 25 yr anniversary benchmark.

    Also, the black people is in DIRE need of positive and healthy representation period. We have a negative representation of everything under the sun; unfortunately, in the media, I really feel the negatives outweigh the positives. Everybody doesn’t have someone to look up to as an example in their lives, for some people the industry is all they have.

  18. "PS – I always thought something was up with Lena when Piccolo came to visit her and nobody believed for a second that he was really dating that girl. I’m done."

    Huh??/!!! who the hell is Lena and Piccolo??

    Running late today but I will be back to comment on this thread later.

    1. You are now in danger of losing your black card…I know you watched "A Different World" when Jada was on there, LMBO! Redeem yourself quickly, lol…

  19. Listen it probably just a rumor and if not who cares they'll both bounce back. It's just said that we actually looking at the situation and going “What’s going to happen to black love now"? Umm the same thing that’s been happening, Normal not famous black people will still get married have babies and argue at the family reunion. Sh%t don’t change because Lena and the Fresh Prince not kicking it no more. My people are we that desperate for guidance; I mean yea black love has been getting a lot of shade lately but GOD it isn’t that serious. When you been married for a long time sometimes you separate sometimes you get mad at each other and hey sometimes you get over it and work it out.

  20. LOL @ this post!

    I took all the "Mama NOOOOOO's" as folks being comedically dramatic. I even threw a few "Man, if they can't make it, I ain't neva gettin hitched again's" in there. Did I really mean it? Of course not, lol.

    I didn't believe it anyway. I did care enough to google it and post to someone else's FB link that their reps hadn't confirmed it…trying to douse the mayhem ensuing there (which, again, I didn't take seriously), lol.

  21. i thought nooooo when i heard this. simply because i think they're cute and i want them to stay together. just like barack and michelle and bey and jay. some relationships you just want to believe in. it doesn't affect your life, but it's a good example, and people need to see that, to counteract all the ratchet basketball "wives" and such. lol
    My recent post The Acquiescence

    1. Not being a hater at all but ummm…if I were to really care to give the issue any serious brain power, I'd prob be championing the idea that Bey & Jay's union is for business and entertainment purposes only, LOL…

      1. "I'd prob be championing the idea that Bey & Jay's union is for business and entertainment purposes only, LOL..".

        You ain't the only one.. I've never seen pics of them swapping spit. lol

    2. "I thought nooooo when i heard this. simply because i think they're cute and i want them to stay together. just like barack and michelle and bey and jay. some relationships you just want to believe in. it doesn't affect your life, but it's a good example, and people need to see that, to counteract all the ratchet basketball "wives" and such. lol "

      Right! For a lot of folks, it's not so much that they believe their marriage will affect ours (or the possibility of having one), it's just the image it projects. Sure, B and Shelly may not represent a lot of us, but it does represent what we want. It's better to have them represent us than the negative ish that too many folks accept as representing us… lol

  22. I just think folks glamorize celebrities IN GENERAL, so of course that's gonna include love. And given the shoddy track record of celebrity relationships, of course folks are gonna hold on to some glimmer of hope when a couple actually makes it through a marriage for several years. Several. That is a lifetime using Hollyweird math. Especially with the faux quickie publicity marriages that have happened.

    Still, though, as much as people say that they look to celebrities that have been married awhile as role models, they shouldn't look to them as saviors. There is still self-work to be done.

  23. "Even the sun goes down heroes eventually die. Horoscopes often lie and sometimes why nothin' is for sure nothin' is for certain nothin' lasts foreverI" Sorry had to get that out the way – there's an Outkast lyric for erythang!

    I wasn't torn apart by the Will and Jada breaking up rumor – but then again I recognize that I'm blessed to see loving married couples (my parents included) who are in it to win it. And the older folks in my Bible study who have been married for 50, 60+ years serve as an inspiration but are also a constant reminder that marriage is hard, hard, hard work.

    I will say that I was rattled my mom's friend's divorce – she had known her husband for almost 40 years (since high school), had worked to help put him through law school. They had it "all", two kids, nice house, etc. And he dropped the divorce bomb on her and was on some 'Waiting to Exhale' hiding assets and ish. That was my first encounter with real nigs who do shady ish. And that rocked my world…

    My recent post We Who Believe In Freedom…

  24. I'm sorry but I don't believe these rumors — How can there be cheating in an open marriage O___o what, one of them didn't inform the other they were sliding off for the evening; but if the rumors are indeed true guess what…THAT'S LIFE!!!! don't get me wrong, I always thought they were a very cute couple but wake me if Barack and Michelle ever call it quits.

    1. Apparently, there can be cheating in any open relationship; it all depends on the rules that they've agreed to. Couple A & B can be cool with hooking up with others, but may have agreed that it can only happen if both parties know of and are ok with it. According to what I've read, anyway.

  25. yeah I dont think anyone shouldve been taking it to heart, we don't know them personally but its nice to have visible people being happy and in love–whether you know them or not! I'm team love all day. I'm glad it was just a rumor but even if something does go down, its not the end of the world.

    people will really lose their minds if something happens to the Obamas. but not me because well, I am not surprised by politicians at all…
    My recent post I’ll drink to that!

  26. Since a lot of folk are claiming to not care about the state of another's marriage….I think that may be part of the reason black marriages are not respected. In some cultures, before a couple can get divorced…the families of the couple get together to see if they can assist the couple. So that it can be fair, the person that is not the blood relative is the person the families have to lobby for. Also, we already are aware how some cultures look at adultery.

    1. Having human concern (ex. "Aww man, that's jacked up. (pause) What's for dinner?") is understandable, yes. Trying to involve yourself in the affairs of someone's personal life that you don't know is a whole nutha issue. I've been through a divorce…and I can assure you that random peoples opinions and advice was bothersome and, in some cases, destructive.

      If we want to see less divorce, we should make the process of getting married harder, it should be more expensive to get a license (ex. $1000), counciling should last waaaaaaay longer than 6 wks (more like 6 mos to a year), there should be an age limitation higher than 18 (IMO, it should be 25), and certain issues should result in jail time (adultery & abuse) or a fine (irreconcilable differences, $5000), lol. That way, folks will think more than twice before signing on the dotted line.

      1. I see your point, especially that last paragraph. I don't think a lot of Americans would appreciate the courts involving themselves in their affairs. I would dare say I would much rather my family (people that know my husband and me) involve themselves in our affairs.

        I would be more nervous letting a strange court official dictate anything concerning my marriage.

        1. I'm not suggesting meddling from the court system as much as I suggest more stringent rules concerning the legality/laws of marriage. If you do a non-licensed shindig in your yard, do whatever you want. But, if you want the U.S. of A. to validate your union, you best be abiding by all the above or A) you gets no license, B) you're going to jail, or C) cough up the required fees!

          Oh…and the pay scale for fees should be dependent on your income…so celebs should have to pay some random ridiculous "ouch that hurt my fat pocket" fee, lol…

  27. My point is, maybe we should care. Once divorce became just another thing to do, we got to the point where half of the marriages in our country fail. Once adultery became the thing to do, well you get my point. IJS, I think we should care on some level. I think we should consider the ramifications that come from accepting failure as an option. Once something is considered cool to do (despite the lasting consequences), people all over the place begin to jump on the bandwagon. One family divorcing may not seem that big a deal…now multiply that and what do you have…the state of marriage, as we know it.

    I am starting to understanding that whether we like it not, we are all apart of the same. What affects one part of us, will eventually affect us all.

    1. I don't think the point of this post was that we shouldn't give the slightest bit of a damn. If it turns out to be true, I'm not going to automatically shrug my shoulders and say "Too bad…but moving right along." I like both Jada and Will, and I smile when I see them together. I hope that their union stands the test of time. What the authors are saying is that your odds of success or failure are not necessarily reflected by popular icons' outcomes. There are some people we may love seeing together, but who at the end of the day are not well-suited for a relationship with each other. I am concerned about the general state of marriage and the lack of respect that the institution is accorded in present times. Nonetheless, I do not believe my future to be doomed if Michelle & Barack Obama were to split tomorrow because, as was pointed out, we do not know the inner workings of these people's relationships. We are only privy to the little bits and pieces afforded to us by tabloids and gossipmongers, in addition to whatever image they choose to project (be it real or fabricated).

  28. For me it wasn't about them in a personal sense, but more in terms of the image. Since black marriage is talked about so negatively (divorces, cheating, etc etc), its sad to see people who have been together for so many years that have publicly stated that divorce isn't an option separate. I also thought about it in terms of the kids. I'm sure divorces effect kids more than most people think they do. If they do separate its just sad in general, not because they are celebs. Especially if we (black people) lose one of the few positive famous black couples in the media.

  29. I don't think anyone uses these relationships as their standards per se *halt* Actually let me speak for myself – I don't, BUT(not yelling) I did feel sad when I first heard the rumour. I am team successful relationships – doesn't matter whose it is, I'm always on the sidelines cheering for people who manage to hold onto each other long enough; A couple falling off the team wagon always elicits a grimace and I think that's pretty much what it was.
    My recent post Breeding style

  30. This is an interesting post. I don't really get too caught up in celebrity relationships. I do however respect the Obamas. Publicly Michelle Obama is the model of a wife and mother (just my opinion). That's not to say I think shes the best or even that their relationship isn't without flaws. However, I love the way she plays the role. She supports her husband 100% without stealing his lime light. Michelle Obama is a powerful woman in her own right yet as first lady she takes the position of supportive wife and mother. My ideals concerning marriage is that the man should always be the representative of his family while the woman serves as his support. They are a perfect example of that. Now whether they secretly beat the crap out of each other, they always present a united front.
    My recent post I like my coffee black… and my men too!!!!

  31. People need role models. For many celebrities become that. I don't think that's hard to understand. Successful relationships – I root for everyone cause yes that gives me hope. Even after reading this post I don't understand why its so wrong. Not saying celebrities make the best examples but I am not gone act like I don't pay attention. And I am saddened if I hear that a long turn relationship has ended.
    And as a final thought if the Obama's don't make it. Yes! My world will crumble. I will shed a tear and lose all hope cause if they can't do it then what the h*ll am I even trying for.

  32. I'm never that shocked about celebrities breaking up. Sometimes I may be surprised, but it doesn't do anything to me personally cause like you said, I don't know them. (Same goes for celebrities dying, though Amy Winehouse's music had a fundamental effect on me unlike any other artist so I actually did feel sad to see her go, but for my own selfish reasons).

    I've been heartbroken about a breakup twice, and both were my close friends who I thought were in perfect relationships with perfect guys… They didn't agree as both breakups were initiated by the females. But yea just showed me that you never really know what does on behind closed doors.

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