Home Featured The Dark Side of Fairy Tales: Influence on Men’s Perception of Women and Themselves

The Dark Side of Fairy Tales: Influence on Men’s Perception of Women and Themselves

Dont take this the wrong way but I usually date light skinned women.

Random Factoid: It was 84 years before Disney marketed an African American princess in 2009. The more you know…


As fellow site writer Dr. J wrote about in Fairy Tales: Lies Your Mother Told and as I wrote about in You Can’t Always Save the Damsel, made for cinema fairy tales mess women’s heads all the way up and everyone suffers. Unfortunately, women are not alone. Fairy tales mess men’s heads up in a similar, yet opposing fashion. There are a plethora of effects but I’m only going to cover three due to word limits and laziness.

1. Men feel they need prince status before they can secure a princess. If every movie you watched as a kid showed a prince acquiring a princess, at some point you’re going to internalize what qualities he possessed in order to obtain her. Men see this prince residing in his castle, surrounded by material goods, and women from all across the land fawning upon him in the hopes that they will be the chosen one. In slang terms, this guy is “balling out of control” and there is no shortage of “groupies.”

Men see this and assume they have to possess the same status and material wealth if they ever hope to find a princess. If he fails to do so, it fosters insecurity in himself and spite for the women he believes require this of him. Ironically, this goes against the thought process of (most) women. While women want a “prince,” most are perfectly content being with a man they believe has prince-like qualities. However, if the man cannot overcome his perceived shortcomings, he will often pass up the very woman he could already possess because he believes he is not good enough for her, yet. This is known as the “I’m not ready for a serious relationship” phase.

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2. Men feel they can do whatever they want for however long they feel like doing it. A common theme between all these prince and princess movies is the prince randomly shows up whenever the hell he feels like it, puts a ring on it (no Beyonce) and everyone in the village rejoices. There is rarely a back-story detailing exactly what the prince was doing all those years before he decided to commit.

We know the story of the princess, because she is often described as sitting around waiting on the prince or in the case of Cinderella, sitting around the house in a do-rag cleaning up after her no-good, boy crazy sisters. Thank goodness for that Fairy God Mother or she wouldn’t have even made it to the ball to show off those magical red bottoms, I mean glass slippers.

Side note: Glass slippers can’t be comfortable. Even in the fairy tales, the woman is primping and preening herself and forcing her foot into some uncomfortable shoes for some man she hasn’t even met. Funny. Moving on…

The point is while women tend to focus on the happy ending where the underrated woman met her prince, men focus on the idea that they can essentially find a princess whenever they feel like it or one will come conveniently stumbling into his field of view, looking and presenting themselves for him no less, right along with all the other desperate village women, all in an effort to impress him.

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3. Men feel entitled to a princess and settling for anything less is an abject failure. I can’t speak for women but I truly believe a lot of men don’t settle down and/or are not faithful to their significant other because they believe they can do better, even if all evidence points to the contrary. And who can blame them?!?

No fairy tale ends with the prince passing up the princess to get with the regular girl that held him down before he had the castle, the fame, and all the people of the land chanting his name. Aladdin didn’t interrupt Princess Jasmine to say, “I’ma let you finish but regardless of what you’re talking about, I’m going to end up kicking it with Jasminiqua from the Block. She had my back when I was poor and genie-less.” Sorry, fairy tales don’t end that way.

In fact, Jasminiqua from the Block doesn’t even get honorable mention for holding Aladdin down when all he owned was an apple stealing monkey. Second place is nothing more than a first place loser. As a result, men feel like failures if they don’t end up with Princesses.


Fellas, do you or anyone you know fall into these categories? Do you believe childhood films have had an effect on your perception of women, dating, and Jesus no, Love?

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Ladies, we often hear of the “detrimental” effects fairy tales have on the psyche of women but what about men? Have you met a man that falls into these categories? Are there other areas that fairy tales, and their sinister cousins, ‘romantic comedies’ have negatively influenced the men you have dated? Do these types of films set us all up for unrealistic expecations for Love and relationships as adults?


  1. The media is the most powerful religion in the world. If anybody denies that, s/he is crazy.
    I think Hip Hop is guilty of some ridiculous tales. We cannot deny the influence of the Hip Hop musics' tales on our love and relationships any longer.
    There's no inspirations coming from Hip Hop other than this: "Good man f*ck a lot of hoes. The way to do that is to be a baller or a rapper. The more hoes you get, the better a man you are. Since you'll be a good man when you have hoes, if you can get them without the financial requirement, you're still THE MAN." That's a ridiculous standard! FAIRY TALES are ridiculous STANDARDS (the real definition of it). Failure f*ck many hoes by some ridiculous time and age is comparable to a lady's failure to get her prince charming by some ridiculous time and age.
    It takes time for most young black men to figure out real standard to live by. I wonder how long did it take for our president to figure things out for himself. He must have been accused of not living up to these standards a lot of time. ie, You're acting white!

  2. I have a friend who has been w/ his girl for 5 years and he definitely falls into the first 2 categories. I believe I fall into the third category for simple fact that I tend to pass up on numerous "opportunities" I live by a certain standard and I expect the woman that I am interested in meet that standard –regardless if she just going to be a jumpoff or the potential wifey. ..I know it sounds crazy, but that's just how I think. Even the few serious relationships I have been in, I tended to be constantly "looking for someone better" even though my girl (at the time) did meet my standard ..weird I know lol. Have no idea why I do that ..possibly boredom getting the best of me ..maybe she "fell off" –which was true in a few situations ..or I wasn't as sure of her as I thought. Regardless I've learned from past mistakes & feel like I've reached that "price status." So Im on a current mission of trying to find the "special one" –my Princess Jasmine.

  3. Beauty and the beast is the illustration of your post. Some men expect beautiful commendable women to look pass for their “seemingly” innocuous intrinsic flaws and be with them.

    1. and we do…and I think we're better people for it. Belle won.

      and c'mon, he lived decades as a Beast…you KNOW he laid it dooooown 😉

  4. Great post. I fall into category 1 but not because of fairy tale movies or anything, I dunno, I guess I absorb everything reality offers to me whenever I'm in a situation where the girl is obviously getting more paper than me. The last girl I went out on a date was a biochemist straight out of college— we had a good time and everything, but anytime i tried texting her later on, things come to my mind like "yo this girl is getting middle-class bread and she aint even 25 yet while you still in college with a part-time job; you need to fall back a lil' bro"
    I don't feel like it's insecurity, it's probably a "you are not in her league…yet" feeling, and it's possible I might have missed a good relationship but in these recent times where Love comes with a price tag you need to have form of prince-esque (at least a Knight or Page or something) parts in your life.

    1. Oy! Are u serious? Dudes are so dramatic… I mean u couldn’t be in a relationship becuz she was making moves while you weren’t? Really? No bueno! Grow up…ur princess is prolly happy u at least got a job! Its not that deep. Smh

    2. "you are not in her league…yet"

      Yeah, it is insecurity – albeit temporary. As someone who has this same issue(i don't even know many women who judge themselves based on how much they make) I can tell you for sure that it is insecurity. But the way to get over it is the "yet" part as you rightly put it; Be proud of your potential and let the other person decide for themselves, don't do it for them: )
      My recent post Race – an illegitimate concept.

      1. @ 48

        Yeah I understand you. I still stand by my assessment that It’s not insecurity because I just feel like I have to be in a stable ground to pursue a serious relationship. It’s not like I feel intimidated or anything…I can see why that rubs off as insecurity, but it’s all good.

        1. So Lyrically what do you do when your in a marriage and "things fall apart"???? This is in part why so many people who do get married can't seem to stay together to save their lives. They want a relationship under the only the best circumstances with the perfect person for them and when they do get married and things change for the worse they are clueless as to how to handle their issues. If things are always "ideal" in relationships how do you expect to ever learn how to deal with things when they aren't ideal………..
          Point being whether your on stable ground or not, if your with the "right woman" and she loves you for the right reasons she will love you when your on shakey ground and help you get back on stable ground………now thats what a true "ride or die" chick does.
          I agree it may not be insecurity but you definitely seem to have that "foolish pride" thing.

  5. So, you're saying in point number one…that if a guy feels he has shortcomings….he will say he's not ready for a relationship..and pass up a girl he likes….I am going to ask for more people on that one..but, the other points you made did ring true….good post WIM..and umm. what happened to the other post about the other thing? lol..:-)

    1. That's exactly what I'm saying. lol A man has to feel he is both ready and worthy of a woman he is interested in. I think the main difference on viewpoints here is that men do no look in terms of finality when it comes to relationships. Just because he passes up one girl or lets one girl go does not mean he will not find another. It's interesting to me that women seem not to view things that way. Maybe there is just a shortage of "good" men or maybe that dont feel like starting from scratch. Either way, it's interesting.

      To your other question, I tried to get that post in last night but I missed the "deadline." It will be up next week and I believe it's worth the wait. Pertaining to story about the woman I liked but stopped calling anyway, I will post that on my personal site tomorrow since it's more of a personal story anyway (I try to right broader reaching subjects here).
      My recent post A Review: What These Bitches Do Wrong

      1. For a long time I viewed things that way. I was always in the 'not ready to be serious' phase because I knew how fickle I could be. Also, I knew that as a college going young woman, there would never be a shortage of male companionship. Another, somewhat unrelated reason for that phase, was that I don't think I honestly cared about ending up 'alone' the way most women do or are expected to. I never felt that pressure 'shrug'

        Coincidentally, my favorite 'fairytale' was and still is Alice in Wonderland. Which has nothing to do with love and just simply effs up your head, or rather, expands your imagination…All that jazz

  6. Excellent write up! I've always kinda wondered how these movies might affect the male psyche but I never actually attempted to dive into it. The first example especially struck a chord with me – that's a lot of pressure. I mean, Simba had to kill his uncle before he could really live his life with Nala o_0.

    All of these sound like very probable situations and the standards almost force men and women away from each other. Women are always looking for that perfect prince (who is perfect by the worlds standards) and men are looking for the perfect princess on their time when the truth is there is no universally perfect person – you gotta find someone who is perfect for you. And like a lot of things in life, love doesn't necessarily happen on your time.

    I also feel like this is partly a generational thing. Older guys have a fairy tale complex, but these new aggins have a media complex – and I think the latter is worse lol
    My recent post Secrets.

  7. While I don't think men are necessarily sitting around with butter popcorn watching girlie cartoon movies (not even as boys), I don't think that's kept them from having these Dreamworld-type goals you've outlined. Men and women both have unrealistic, irrational expectations that we strive to have met when it comes to love and relationships. The trick is realizing this before you completely screw yourself.

    I actually appreciate men who desire to be providers. I think that's the way it should be. And while I generally agree with #1 and typically date men on the come-up, men-in-progress can be a headache in some ways because they're unstable. We can't establish roots till you stop flopping around. Stable men-in-progress make better partners.

    I think #2 is truth mainly cause women allow it. And #3 is ridiculous…yet, true. How you gonna be a 7…8 at best…demanding a 10?! I can understand not wanting to date down but you better include your league in your "I'd sign on the dotted line with THAT girl" list. The nerve…

    1. Cynical you hit the nail on the head on a lot of points….Cosign.
      Everybody has all kinds of unrealistic expectations with regards to relationships……which is why many of them don't last. The ones that do last when folks "Stop dating according to their preferences, and start dating according to their priorities and focus more on what they need, not what they want" (quote by Neicy Nash.

  8. So according to WIM:
    " Men feel entitled to a princess and settling for anything less is an abject failure." So if a man marries a "regular" girl as you wrote about in "Why He Married the Regular Girl," then will he consider himself a failure for doing so?

    1. Honestly? Some men do. However, settling for a 1 – 5, in some cases, is better than settling for nothing. Like women, most men dont want to be alone forever either.

      Also, as I said in that post, with age, a lot of men become better at assessing what's important. It depends what you're describing as "regular." In that post I was talking mainly about looks – which is usually what these conversations revolve around. Just because a girl looks like a 5 doesnt mean she's a 5 all around. Just like a girl who looks like a 10 isnt always a 10 all around. In summary, men have to learn to prioritize what's important to them and this is not universal.

  9. Don't know many guys who fall under category 1 and I'm not at all opposed to the attitude that comes with category 3; Everyone should feel entitled to the best – as long as they themselves are striving to be the best. You'll only get what you think you deserve out of life.

    But this quote below is mostly what i have to deal with:

    "men focus on the idea that they can essentially find a princess whenever they feel like it or one will come conveniently stumbling into his field of view, looking and presenting themselves for him no less, right along with all the other desperate village women, all in an effort to impress him"

    I think men need to let go of the myth that women get more desperate as they get older.
    My recent post Race – an illegitimate concept.

    1. "I think men need to let go of the myth that women get more desperate as they get older. "

      My standards have not changed no matter how much Teef Harvey, media, meddling loved ones, or men suggest that I do lower them

    2. I dont know if "more desperate" is accurate but older women definitely want a commitment quicker than younger women and this makes sense. You cant tell me that a 20 year old woman, 25 year old woman, 30 year old woman and 35 year old woman have the same outlook on life and expecation from their relationships. In fact, if a woman does, that's a problem because it shows a lack of growth…in my humble opinion.

      1. Lack of growth?! I resemble that remark. I’ll have yoi know, sir, that it has taken a great deal of growth for me to get to where I am today. Not wanting to get married and lookjng for short term fun. I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt, ring on it, pickett fence, two car garage, and all that. It’s not all its cracked up to be. IJS. But I’m sure yours will be a happy ever after. Pay no attention to the old skank. (Tee, hee)

      2. I think I understand what you are saying. The range you listed is a fifteen year range. If a 35 year old woman has the same outlook on relationships and life as she did at 20 or another 20 year old, 15 years have been wasted.

  10. If this was 5, 10 maybe 15 years ago I would have cosigned your #1 but TODAY ican't because men are no longer trying to become that prince before conquering his princess.. we got a whole lot of court jesters out here stepping to princesses in hopes of her upgrading his status to a noble at least.


      1. "#shouttothecourtjesters"

        THIS is some MESS, LMBO! Don't shout out the court jesters, MANNNNNNNN!!!! LOL…smh

        1. IMO, you gotta just know that jesters are just for sh!ts & giggles!
          Leave that ish and find ur prince!

      2. Mr. SD raises a good point. I mean, what's the other option? Some women (especially in the black community) are becoming more educated, as far as time spent in school anyway, than their male counterparts. It's safe to say these women may make more money, too. Sooo, are these men suppose to now approach these women at all? This goes back to my "She's Out of My League" post I wrote last week.

        On this very thread I see women saying "it doesnt matter what material goods a man has he should approach and leave it up to the woman" then conversely, you have women leaning towards what you've said above. At the end of the day, the game has and is changing and I think both men and women are trying to figure out the new "rules."

        Lastly, just because a Jester steps to you doesnt mean you have to let him in your court.

    1. Girl Sixx you can say that again about court jesters….lol
      Quite a few men feel like if they look good, and are packing like an African Mandingo warrior prince and can lay the pipe thats more than enough and entitles them to as many Halle Berries, Alicia Keyes, and Jada Pinketts that they can "sleigh" lol

  11. I think the above mentioned behavior continues because women make the myth true. It's a social pressure that's applied to women that I don't believe is often applied to men. Besides that, I believe older women have a tendency to be a lot more well rounded and stable than their male counterparts. Then it becomes a game of numbers rather than a matter of desperation: a dude can pull it together almost as late in the game as he wants, just in time to snag him a ring and start a family. As long as he has it together (I mean really, how often does a woman 'punish' a man for spending his youth frolicking about if she only just met him? As long as shes not the woman whose been waiting around and hurting during this period of frolicking, most women could care less. They declare themselves the winner and keep it pushing down the aisle lol)

    Even if he doesn't, but is just simply 'ready' to get married, there will always be some enabling female around. In general, its the 'norm' for men to be frolicking, not so much for women. It's not impossible for women to hold the same attitudes and status as men in the regard, it's just not the average.

    1. TeaCup I agree with the Social pressure comment. Definitely American society as a whole plays a huge part in the roles between men and women and how they see themselves and each other.
      I think with movies and stories and fairytales more often than not "art imitates life". So many of these things come from real life idealogy.

  12. And that's only taking into account a man whois looking to settle down with a woman his age, rather than a younger woman.

  13. I’m thoroughly confused how this can only have 20 comments. I really enjoyed this post.

    I have a question: do ya’ll think that we behave as princesses and princes because of the fairy tales that we were told or that the fairy tale characters were created in our image to be more relatable?

    I think happy endings give hope and make sales so they will always exist. But I think a lot of the story telling is just a reflection of the way humans act and dream. Of course we want the romantic prince to sweep us off our feet, of course he wants the fairest maiden in all the land on his arm, yeah it’d be extra sweet if our Love’s daddy gives us the keys to a castle and a kingdom just for saying I do…they’re stories, they’re supposed to be superlative.

    But the characters, some real ish lies within them. The girl that feels like she’s the ugly stepchild and seems to toil hard for every scrap of bread that she gets while her cruel, ugly stepsisters are given the world on a platter (hos be winning), the child sent away due to her stepmother’s jealousy, the girl that loved nothing more than to just read a book, but got constant pressure to be more of a “lady” and go find her a man, the girl with the over protective daddy that saw more for herself than just begin a sheltered princess her whole life, the girl that has worked hard, scrimping and saving and making sacrifices for her life goal, only for that to have a negative effect on her social life…these are relatable stories. Not because we saw them play out and emulated them, but because art imitates life.

    I can’t speak on what men got from the fairy tales, honestly I didn’t know they read/watched them. But I think men (and humans) will always strive for the best, always want a partner that they feel worthy of and happy to be with. And the sad fact (for women, awesome fact for men) will always remain that men – because of our society, because of their more laid back approach, because of their wider appeal, because of women’s very specific requirements, because of our biological needs – will not only feel they can do whatever they want for however long they feel like doing it, but that they really can and still come out the winner in the end. Such is life.

    1. Girl if I could've hit the thumbs up button 6 more times I would. #SuchIsLife

      To answer your question though: No I don't think the stories or characters have much to do with someone having a princess or prince complex, I think it has to do with their childhood upbringing because Mommy and/or Daddy treated them as such, their were given almost any and everything so this princess/prince entitlement continues to flourish into adulthood.

      1. Basically.

        People are arseholes. End of story.

        Tons of factors, but in the end, you decide the type of person that you are going to be every day.

    2. "And the sad fact (for women, awesome fact for men) will always remain that men – because of our society, because of their more laid back approach, because of their wider appeal, because of women's very specific requirements, because of our biological needs – will not only feel they can do whatever they want for however long they feel like doing it, but that they really can and still come out the winner in the end."

      I don't know about this one, y'all. I think this is true because women have allowed it to be true. If women, in general, didn't have an "I'll do/put up with anything to get a man/keep a man" mindset, the tables would turn drastically. I don't think it has anything to do with society at large, specific reqs, or biological needs. I think women carry it like they don't have any control at all so men treat it like THEY have the control. Such is the life we make it…

        1. Imagine if all women decided not to sleep with men in relationships and lived by that. Cheating would STOP! (down-low brothers not included)

          Imagine if cheating/lying/disrespectful men were put in some Cheaters/Liars/Disrespectful registry and women avoided the names on that registry like the plague! Cheating/Lying/Disrespect would STOP! (down-low brothers not included)

          Why would it stop? Cause men really REALLY don't want to live a womanless *cough*vagin@less*cough* life. They'd come up to the standard.

          But this will never happen cause desperate women will continue to sleep with other women's men and forgive cheaters/liars/disrespectful men…thus giving men the impression that they can do whatever they want and still have us.

        2. While I agree that cheating would reduce dramatically, you have to keep in mind the fact that not every man in a relationship advertises the fact. A lot of women find out after giving up the goods that they are sharing someone else's man. A lot of men would simply devote their time to becoming more crafty, rather than giving up their waywardness altogether.

        3. That's why I added the registry part, lol. Cause the truth ALWAYS comes to light. If he lied to you and you didn't know he had a woman, once you know, you add him to the registry. Ain't nobody that crafty that they NEVER get caught. SO when his crafty butt slips up, he's going in the registry. Life ruined, lol. Dudes wouldn't risk it if they knew getting caught would cut them off from all vagin@l pleasure, lol. There'd be stories going around about crafty dudes who eventually failed. Fear would run rampant. It'd be FABULOUS! Bwahahahaha!

          Why am I talking about this like its a real plan or something? LOL…

        4. I'm nice, trusting (if its earned), generous, and forgiving…ok, maybe not very forgiving, lol…working on that. But, I'm not THAT nice, THAT trusting, THAT generous, or THAT forgiving that I'd allow anyone to knowingly and consciously mistreat me repeatedly…and no woman should be.

    3. Thanks Star! Well, I dont always write for comments and honestly didnt expect this post to be a "comment winner." Mama said there'd be days like this… With that said, I AM enjoying the comments that have been shared and the discussions that have come from them.

      To your point questions: I think the main issue is that "fairy tales" or whatever medium, can create an UNREALISTIC expecation. It's all fine and dandy to have dreams, goals, and expectations as long as they are within reason. What I'm seeing is relationships failing, in real life, because people are too caught up in the dream to put in the work to make the reality work. (1/2)

      1. (2/2) With men and fairy tales, I'm surprised by the number of people surprised men watch fairy tales too. I'm talking about kids movies here so I believe up to a point, young men and women, are exposed to the same movies. We diverge (sometimes) with age. This is where men start moving away from the "romantic" films women still enjoy. Either way, I think even if you lived under a rock as a man you would have some cursory knowledge of the dreamy expecations men have of women because it's every where you look. The "princess" theme permeates a wide array of society and media, thus, both men and women are exposed to it.

        1. I wasn't really surprised at the idea that men (or young boys) watched these fairy tales. The surprise came at the realization that these stories might actually affect the way a man thinks about relationships to the same magnitude that it affects the way a woman thinks about them. Probably just goes back to the double standard that exists with men and emotional influence.
          My recent post Secrets.

  14. Fairytales and Disney movies are just one example of how the media affects us since we're children. Yes, our parents matter, but the older a child gets, the less control parents will have. A lot of eating disorders start when girls are teenagers, because that's when parents begin to lose control of their children. They see what they should be in the media, they talk about it with their friends, and no matter what your lame mom says, you feel fat and ugly and everyone keeps telling you being thin is the way to BE. That's only one example… Another one is sex. Very conflicting, because you're not supposed to give it up but the cool kids are nonetheless hanging out with guys and doing SOMETHING. You can never really get it right. This goes all the way to motherhood, which is the most horrible example of unrealistic expectations women have of themselves. No one is perfect.

    Men aren't exempt from expectations either, sometimes those expectations are even more strict than with girls. And they start very, very young. You're not supposed to play with dolls, you're not supposed to care about clothes, not really supposed to care about looks, but you still gotta look good. Can't be friends with girls, cause that's uncool. Not supposed to do a lot of things cause they're girly. So men become like lambs, they don't do anything deemed by society as "uncool", even if they want to. Another question altogether is, why are the things girls do considered less valuable than the things boys do? Why is it ok for girls to play with cars but no ok for boys to play with dolls? I've always found it very strange.

    Fairytales. Princesses, princes. Everything affects us.

    1. Boys play with dolls…except instead of dolls, they call them "action figures"…of which, my sons have plenty, lol. Wrestlers, Power Rangers, Bumble Bee, lol…Buzz Lightyear…

  15. Interesting idea. Moreso than fairy tales tho (do young boys actually grow up watching/reading about them?), I "blame" hip-hop. LOL

    I guess hip-hop is the modern day Grim's Fairy Tale where a virtual nobody can become a somebody seemingly overnight. Never mind the years of grinding & chicks who held them down along the way (i.e. Jay's 'Song Cry'), when rappers–and by extension men at large–DO make it they want a woman who's "made it" as well (that could mean in the looks department or status).

    That said…allowing yourself to comfortably fall into one of those categories is just wack. If you recognize that you fall into a category (all y'all that say, "wow…that's me") you can continue being shallow & complain about the shallow women you meet along the way, or you can start adjusting your outlook on life & wise up.

    As Dres said…"the choice is yours."
    My recent post Am I Dreamin’?

  16. Wow, you are hitting on so many truths….I love this article. I don't think men can settle down unless they feel accomplished in some sort of way, especially with the level of accomplishments women have nowadays. Women will pass up a man who looks much better on paper for someone that makes her heart sing, I wish men owned this fact
    My recent post God Womb-Men

  17. 1. Men feel they need prince status before they can secure a princess.
    2. Men feel they can do whatever they want for however long they feel like doing it.
    3. Men feel entitled to a princess and settling for anything less is an abject failure.

    Narcissism is our generations' worst enemy and probably a major reason why relationships continue their downward spiral. If you spend anytime on facebook or twitter, you will see how self-absorbed people are. People are going after partners they FEEL they are ENTITLED to, as opposed to COMPATIBLE with, in the end leaving behind all these bitter people with a sense of entitlement but ultimately disappointments!

    It is safe to say that if Cinderella was a part of our generation, it's unlikely she would've ended up with the prince, because the prince would assume he was entitled to better. But this is not just a male thing, because in the same vein, the Beast would not have ended up with Beauty either, because Beauty would decide Gaston was more deserving of her. See where I'm going with this?

  18. It is easy for many men to fall into these categories due to the fact that psychologically gender roles are placed upon us as small tikes. Hello-baby dolls and Hot Wheels. What it does to adults is put people in positions where all parties involved are living and existing in a land of make believe when what most people need to do is face reality. These fairy tales hinder our belief system in true love that may or may not arrive on a white horse, with a little homie who is reading an announcement from a scrooll about his reason for just so happening to be in your town. I change the stories when I read the "Princess Stories" to my 5 year old twin God daughters because I don't want them to think, even this early on, that is the making of love and happiness (yay Al Green) That is also the reason that Princess Tiana, albeit a kabillion years too late as a black princess, is the bomb because she has a job and her own moola and was playing dude to the left 😉
    My recent post The Big 50 🙂

  19. sorry i'm quite late. long day.

    but yes, i'm guilty of #1. i don't think of it is insecurity, but as the cost to get with women these days. many women talk about not getting with broke dudes, or dudes who have nothing but lint in their pockets and dreams in their head. welllp *mechanical shrug*

    the type of women (that i end up being attracted to) seem to be on level X, so i need to be there, or on the way there.
    My recent post kjnetic: looks like espn got another winner winner heheheheh

    1. Level X looks or Level X big picture? You can work your way to a Level X big picture but if we're talking looks, money and prestige really doesn't help. Yeah, you can snag a Level X looks woman with money and prestige but wouldn't it mess with your mind that…for real, for real…you know she wouldn't be with you or stay with you if you lost it all…cause what attracted her to you is now gone??? Not that a Level X looks woman is never physically attracted to a Level VII or below looks man but…I think you get where I'm going with this.

      Or, do you fellas not care about WHY a woman is with you????

  20. I read the first point and felt the need to pose the question. Before there was Tiana, there was definitely Aladdin, where dude came up basically from nothing rescued the princess and she was hooked! How does that reinforce the idea that you have to have all ur stuff together before you can pursue a "princess?" She was diggin him even as a street rat before he got the genie and magic carpet. Sorry if this was already posted didn't get to the comments yet…

  21. my concern is the notion that men feel they must rescue "shatterred women" and then feel "locked in" to that no matter how dysfunctional the realtionship is. I am seeing a lot of men becoming traumatically bonded to very unhealthy females but try again and again to resuce them or "fix" them only to be swept "to the curb." thos men will then go get ANOTHER women who needs "rescuing" and the whole dysfunctional cycle all over again. Once men view thmselves in this way, it is very hard for them to view themselves otherwise; and this id hurting them; sometimes killing them.


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