Home Featured The G-Code: Unwritten Rules That Separate Men From Boys

The G-Code: Unwritten Rules That Separate Men From Boys

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"We Owed Cuz We Throwed And We Stuck To The G-Code"

From as far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a G. Being a G means having a code. The G-Code has always been referenced but never actually defined; it’s been this mythical set of rules, with no traceable author, that governs the actions of the men who adhere to it. The G-Code is so unknown, and so misunderstood that many of us don’t even know what the “G” in G-Code actually stands for. This sort of ambiguity can stand no longer. Today, I want to take the first steps in putting some parameters around the G-Code.

The first thing we must do is come to a decision around the “G.” “G” means so many different things in our culture. Sometimes it means “game” – or a particularly high capacity for rhetorical talk especially when it comes to women. Often times it means “gangster.” In this post-crack epidemic era we’ve grown up in, young black males are obsessed with being gangster. Our fashion is cocaine-chic and our varying ways of earning money are considered our ‘hustles’ (there’s the corporate hustle, the side-hustle… etc.). But we can’t in good conscience adopt a set of rules and regulations for manly behavior that’s based on our love for G-Sh*t; no we need something a little more encompassing. From this day forward, as far as I’m concerned – and I hope as far as anyone reading this is concerned – the “G” in “G-Code” is officially short for “Gentleman.” What we are working on today shall be known as “The Gentleman’s Code.”

Let’s get started:

Rule # 1: You can’t knock the hustle

For those not in the know “You can’t knock the hustle” is a colloquial phrase coined on Jay-Z’s seminal debut that is essentially defined as the act of passing judgment on how an individual earns. As long as it does not directly infringe on your ability to earn, a gentleman does not knock the hustle. We’ve all gotta eat and a gentleman is too focused on providing himself and those he cares about with the lifestyle they deserve to be concerned with what someone else is doing someplace else. But not knocking the hustle doesn’t just stop at how a man earns it also extends to many other facets of life. So long as you and those you care about aren’t negatively impacted, it is unacceptable to pass judgment on how another man manages his time, his interpersonal relationships, his women, his lifestyle, his work ethic or anything else. In all cases, because he is so focused on himself and those he cares about: A Gentleman Does Not Knock the Hustle.

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Rule # 2: Chivalry is not dead.

You can’t call yourself a gentleman if you don’t believe in chivalry. Nobody’s asking you to lay your favorite blazer in a puddle so your woman can step off the curb but if you’re on a crowded train and a seat opens up, sitting down probably shouldn’t cross your mind. You should open doors, pull out chairs, stand upon introduction, walk on the outside, foot the bill during courtship unless she insists otherwise. This stuff should come as second nature to a gentleman. For me, it’s not even chivalry it’s just part of being well mannered; it’s how I was raised. I wouldn’t go to the kitchen and get myself a glass of iced tea without asking my grandmother if she wanted something so I wouldn’t go to the bar and get a drink without asking a woman in my company if she wanted something. Grams never had to open a door or worry about finding a seat while with me so neither would a woman who’s with me. It’s just good manners.

Rule # 3: A Gentleman does not console women or disparage other men for the purposes of winning.

Ladies, beware the man who makes it a point to point out all of the flaws of the other men in your life. If a man is too comfortable casting aspersions on the other men in your life sirens should sound and red flags should go up. You should most definitely question the moral fiber of a man who pushes you down, but unquestionably worse than the man who pushes you down is the man who takes advantage of you while you’re there. A gentleman should not be comfortable consoling a weakened woman for the purposes of sleeping with her. She should like you for you, not because you make it a point to tell her how wack the other guys she deals with are. If a woman whom you have romantic inclinations toward has been hurt, there’s nothing wrong with helping her through hurt so long as you keep your ulterior motives at bay till she’s healed. And even while helping, try to avoid talking about the man, make it about her and leave it to her girlfriends to tell her how terrible that other guy was. Talking about how another man is doing a woman wrong, or how she could do better is a violation of rule # 1.

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Rule # 4: A gentleman does not allow emotion to have undue influence on his actions.

The only thing worse than seeing the devolution of a man during a fit of uncontrolled emotion is seeing that man make a poor decision because of it. This is why a gentleman does his best to maintain control of his emotions and in the rare instances when he can’t, uses discipline and self-control to temper the resulting decisions and actions with reason and logic. A gentleman should always be prepared to do whatever a situation might require and you can’t do that when when you’re blinded by emotion. It’s also impossible to trust a man who can’t control his emotions because his behavior is completely unpredictable.

Rule # 5: Gentleman Do Not Sell Dreams

This is one of the rules that separates the gentleman from the boys. Above all else, a gentleman believes in keeping it real, particularly when it comes to the women in his life. A gentleman does not sell women dreams; he does not purposely deceive women about his intentions with them for the purposes of being with them. Guys who do this make life a little more difficult for gentlemen who are willing to be honest about what they are and aren’t willing to offer a woman. Women who are jaded aren’t usually jaded because a relationship ran its course and failed, or because a relationship did not evolve the way she’d hoped. Sure, those things are disappointing and hurtful but that stuff doesn’t always cause lasting emotional damage and baggage. What causes that sort of lasting damage is when a man leads a woman to believe one thing, knowing the whole while it’s something else. A gentleman is forthright and presents himself as who he is, regardless of how that impacts his interpersonal relationships.

Why does it Matter?

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At this point, some of you may be wondering why all of this matters, why the Gentleman’s Code is important. It’s important for many reasons. If you’re a man reading this and all of this stuff comes as second nature to you, chances are you’re a G. This is all part of your character. It’s important to take stock of it all because doing so aids your ability to silently notice other men who don’t carry the code and that can be useful in determining the depth to which you interact with them. If you’re a man reading this and all of this doesn’t come natural well, I can’t knock your hustle, I wish you the best of luck in life, but don’t be surprised if the men you admire don’t reciprocate your admiration and don’t be surprised if you consistently fall short of attracting the women you desire. If you’re a woman reading this, you need to internalize all of this stuff so that you can spot it in your dating life. You need to understand that you can’t count on a man who’s too beholden to his emotions, or that you can’t trust a man who knocks the hustle of other men. When these character traits are deficient in a man, it usually belies other, more egregious character flaws – and being able to recognize that early is priceless.

Questions

Ladies, have you had or do you have men in your life who you’ve noticed maintain a strict adherence to this sort of code? What about the flipside, have you dealt with men who habitually violate the above? Which side have you had better relationships with? Do you find one side more attractive than the other?  Fellas, is there anything else you’d like to add to the Gentleman’s Code? Consider this our Council of Nicea or our Constitutional Convention. This is a working document – let’s discuss the rules above, debate and add others and eventually adopt our full SBM Authorized draft of the G-Code.

Had a great weekend … I think we all learned a valuable lesson: hand down man down so protect yourself at all times.

As always – stay low and keep firing.

 

 

 

 

Comment(200)

  1. Good post. I respect “man laws” and definitely see the usefulness in them. The men I’ve been involved with have been split 50/50 on following G code. Obviously, I can get with both outlooks. I like the man laws in theory, but I also believe that a man/gentleman is capable of individual thought and making his own decisions regardless of society’s perception of his manhood. Basically I think the number one man law should be: when it comes to your family/beliefs-eff man law. Then I can get on board 100% 🙂

    1. There's most definitely a difference between "man law" and the G-Code. Man Law is like universal stuff. Stuff like: when out with a group of friends, men do not go to the bathroom together. Or, thou shalt always be a good wingman. Man-law gets you through the basics.

      The G-Code is the higher standard. Not all men are capable or required to stick to it, but those who do – those guys are the cream of the crop (pause).

      The code is not merely a set of rules to follow, but instead, the rules are indicators of the mans character therefore, they should never conflict with his beliefs. So – no need to ad that last law.

      My recent post The Millennial Manifesto: How 80′s Babies Can Save the World

  2. Rule # 5: Gentleman Do Not Sell Dreams <— Very poignant. Just be upfront, it's always worse in the end if you are not. Strong, stroooong resentment is bred when one bills lie upon lie upon lie to someone. It's just so disrespectful.

    Love this post. Most, you are by far my favorite writer on SBM.

  3. Let me just say..Rule #2 is the truth!
    But I must say I hate..(hmmm loathe?)… when a man remarks that chivalry is dead? Really?
    How about common courtesy then?
    "For me, it’s not even chivalry it’s just part of being well mannered; it’s how I was raised." <== THIS!
    IMO, Mothers and Fathers need to train/teach their kids better…smh!

  4. THIS! Absolutely Love it. Not much more needs to be added to that. You’ve done it again Sprads!

    Like Star, I’ve dated both G’s and non G’s, definitively preferring the former. I feel as though they’re a bit difficult to come by though, because one or two of the above laws tend to directly conflict with their other “G” (read: game.) Nonetheless the frame of reference is much appreciated!

    *Funny note* Reading this I keep hearin Lil Wayne in my head, “Real G’s move in silence like lasagna.” LoL. He, however does not strike me as a G, relative to this definition anyway.

  5. (dammit. had a longer *better* comment written, but your system wouldn't let me be great. *shakes fist*)

    I have a hard time coming across young(ish) men who value the Gentlemen's Code. Part of the problem is that those of us who came of age during hip-hop and found many of our lessons in the songs of the 90s/early 2000s…fell victim to the "I don't love them hoes" mentality.

    Being a gentlemen, chivalrous, and falling in love were seen as sucka moves. Somewhere along the line (perhaps when we traded Africa medallions for Jesus pieces), we began to devalue love, dating, and treating each other respectfully.

    That being said…i recognize that there are gentlemen that do exist…they just ain't ruling the day like these other knuckleheads.
    My recent post The Power of the P. . .

    1. I agree here. I think what happened was … the game got confused. I blame absentee fathers. Too many of our young men only got pieces of the game.

      So, I mean, the statement: "We don't love them hoes" is actually a true statement. And it wasn't coined in our generation, it's a concept that's been passed along for decades. We just don't know the full G. Being a gentleman does not mean you love hoes (we most definitely do not), it just means you take the time to recognize the difference between the hoes and all other women and you treat both with a level of respect commensurate with their actions.

      My recent post The Millennial Manifesto: How 80′s Babies Can Save the World

      1. I can rock with that…however, there's still a flaw in the "I don't love them hoes" G-code edition. Who & who is not considered a "hoe"? Men place women into these boxes for a myriad of reasons & someone labeled a "hoe" might not be the chick who is sleeping w/ multiple dude. Just might be the woman some THINKS is sleeping w/ multiple men.

        My recent post The Power of the P. . .

        1. that's great.

          But on the flip…i don't know very many women who go around calling themselves "hoes" and yet, I'm willing to bet there are plenty of men (and women) who lob that term at women all the time.

          My recent post The Power of the P. . .

        2. Umm….anything can be interpreted or questioned by anyone.

          If this code exists, women are affected by it (i.e. rules #2,3,5), therefore I can take a critical look at it. Does it mean I'll be happy with the outcome? Nah. But that doesn't mean I can't ask questions and/or draw my own conclusions.

          My recent post The Power of the P. . .

        3. You can question and dissect and analyze till you are blue in the face. Are you invitied to the table to make the changes? No. It's the same for me telling you how to run your household. All nice and dandy, but my input is invalid.

          That's why I made that statement.

        4. Who said my intent what to make changes?

          Also…
          1) I never told anyone how they should do anything.

          2) If you had some constructive/helpful suggestions on how to run a household, then yes, I'd take them under consideration & perhaps alter how I do things.

          3) Your assertion that men should only talk to men about men things & women should only talk to women things & never the two shall meet is sexist as hell. Never mind you hit me with the "household" argument (why go there? house = women's domain?), but your line of thinking is STEEPED in that patriarchal bullsh*t. Period.

          Here's the thing. Mr. Spradley wrote the post for each reader (not just men) to give their thoughts and OPINION, which I gave. So please, I'm sorry my questions/opinion offends what you think women should do, but you can miss me with all that. Cool?
          My recent post The Power of the P. . .

        5. whoucallin…. you are taking my words and meaning out of contextg.

          My messages aren't directed to you personally, but as a general statement. If you feel offended or if I'm coming at you, that's not the intention. My Bad.

          Of course we have open discourse on every dang topic on this site and we all encourage it. Regarding THIS topic, on how a set of rules for men to follow, is PATRIACHAL in nature. If you don't understand that, fine.

          And please miss me with the other nonsense, I meant household as in YOUR HOME, not being relegated to housewife duties. You knew that from jump.

          Ok? Ok.

        6. DeKeLa,

          1) apology accepted

          2) I understand the inherent patriarchal nature of this post, but if you reread yours it comes off waaaay sexist, even if you didn't mean it that way.

          3) Other nonsense? Sorry, I don't know you…so I didn't "know" what you meant from jump. Again, I took what you said, made an inference based on the other things included in said post & commented.

          4) We good. Have a good day.

          My recent post The Power of the P. . .

        7. How do you determine which women get respect? Is it based on the number of sex partners? How she chooses them? Does a gentleman believe a “hoe” as defined by sexual experiences is worthy of less respect? To me, a true gentleman would treat a streetwalker with as much respect as he would anyone else. Because its not about that person, its a code of conduct that isn’t variable. Because then your behavior is subject to an arguable standard of who is a hoe.

          Say, for example, you find out your virgin girlfriend gave head to the football team. Does a G alter his treatment of her?

        8. A woman is treated how she treats hersef. Were all grown, if your not a virgin a dude is going to atleast think you've had one or two partners for the most part. It's about how you carry yourself. Who you give your body to is your buisness but if the men you give it to disresepct you, call you out of your name or act crazy and you still sleeping with them and all his homies then, your not respecting yoursef. For exmaple look at some of those women you see on word star like the chick getting back shots while dude was freestyling and sexing her at the same time, she lets another dude video tape that, she didnt move to get up and leave the room just moved enough to cover her face, thats some hoe stuff and men will treat you accordingly.

          If if your a woman with a sexually healthy appetite dont worry about being a hoe if it dont aapply to you let it fly.

        9. I totally agree. I hate the "hoe" label. To me, a true gentleman wouldn't be involved with any woman he would consider a hoe in the first place. Secondly, I don't think a prostitute or loose woman should be treated any differently by a "true gentleman." That's probably why she's that way in the first place. She hasn't had anyone show her true love and respect. Why perpetuate the cycle by disrespecting her further?
          My recent post How To Defend a Racist Rant by Katt Williams

        10. Secondly, I don't think a prostitute or loose woman should be treated any differently by a "true gentleman." That's probably why she's that way in the first place.

          I do agree a gentleman treats a woman like a woman no matter what type of woman she is but just dont be a sucker. As far as how she got there a hoe is a hoe by choice unless she was draged into legit prostiution. She's responsible for her own actions just like a gentleman is responsibe for his actions. It's her parents(mom or dad) job to show her how to love and respect herself, its her job to make sure those boundries are being set and followed by the man or person in her life.

        11. I'm not saying he should take her out and wine and dine her, but I don't think a gentleman uses that kind of language ("hoe") when referring to a woman. I guess I'm different. There was a guy once who held the door open for me, but told me that he doesn't do that for most women, like I was supposed to be flattered or something. This turned me OFF completely. A gentleman is ALWAYS a gentleman, not only with someone he's interested in. The same goes for a guy who labels some women hoes. Just because he doesn't call me a hoe (to my face) doesn't mean that he's a gentleman in labeling any other woman as such, even if she behaves this way.
          My recent post How To Defend a Racist Rant by Katt Williams

        12. <div class="idc-message" id="idc-comment-msg-div-195967829"><a class="idc-close" title="Click to Close Message" href="javascript: IDC.ui.close_message(195967829)"><span>Close Message</span> Comment posted. <p class="idc-nomargin"><a class="idc-share-facebook" target="_new" href="http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http%3A%2F%2 Fwww.singleblackmale.org%2F2011%2F09%2F19%2Fthe-g-code-putting-to-paper-the-unwritten-rules-around-manly-behavior%2F#IDComment195967829&t=I%20just%20commented%20on%20The%20G-Code%3A%20Unwritten%20Rules%20That%20Separate%20Men%20From%20Boys" style="text-decoration: none;"><span class="idc-share-inner"><span>Share on Facebook</span></span> or <a href="javascript: IDC.ui.close_message(195967829)">Close MessageWhen you say "i don't think a gentleman uses that kind of language" – isn't he going to at least think it/use the term privately? We all make judgements on other people. We all label people. If anything its a risk management strategy that stops us being unnecessarily hurt. And a man who considers himself (and is generally considered) a gentleman ought to have a lady right?

        13. It's like hearing your dad, or better yet, your pastor calling a girl a hoe. What would you think of them using this terminology? To me, it's disrespectful. What that man thinks is his own business. I would never know, but what comes out of his mouth, is a different story. If I heard a guy talking to his boys or whoever referring to women as hoes, I certainly would not consider him a gentleman. Again, I'm not saying he has to get with a hoe. I'm just saying a gentleman wouldn't be referring to any woman as a hoe even if she exhibits that type of behavior.
          My recent post Big Love, Big Pain

  6. i'm going to give this a pretty strong no-sign.

    nothing against the points on what makes a gentleman.
    I don't really see re-claiming the g-code as 'gentle' as something I can really be a part of. Far be it for me to sit here and defend anything gangster, this isn't the forum for that. But they have their own thing. We if are just going to 'bite' off of them, are we really kicking the truth to the young black youth. That is like girls who dance to waka flocka in the club but complain about the lyrics in rap music.

    Also I don't see how you can have a code that people aren't forced to stick too. Rule 1 sounds like you can't call a negro out if he violates any of the other rules. As for Chivalry not being dead, it was SBM that taught me how overrated that stuff really is. But I would never claim to be a G. However I would claim I am a grown mature man and I don' think these are the differences between men and boys. And not getting the quality of woman someone wants… you.are.wilding. Since when did nice guys finish first?

    1. A few points here my good brother cheekz.

      In my mind, the gentleman and the gangster are not mutually exclusive. In fact, I think they are more synonymous than they are antithetic. If you were to sit down and write out the rules for being a successful gangster, and then compare them to the character traits of the gentleman I've described, I think you'd find that they are pretty consistent. You'd find this because the whole thing is about character. You don't rat on your friends. You stand tall and stick to your code, even in the face of adversity. It's all strictly business, never personal (you don't act on emotion), and unless his hustle is knocking yours, you can't knock the way a n*gga eatin. All the same character related traits.

      Next point: The whole entire purpose of putting this code to paper is because not all men are capable of following it, nor should all men be forced to follow it. I think the men who are able to follow this code, and still find all the success as it relates to money, women, and everything else – those are special men. When you can have all the chicks you want without ever having to tell a lie or sell a dream… you're in rare air… that's like OG status. It's never about being a nice guy… instead … it's about having the balls to do whatever a particular situation requires.

      And lastly, as far as Chivalry is concerned peep this … one of my favorite quotes: A man's worth can be measured in terms of his ability to evoke in the essence of a male the wish to be man, to evoke in the essence of a female the wish to be woman.
      -Jean Toomer

      Chivalry – no matter how antiquated or overrated, goes a long way toward making a woman feel like a woman. It takes minimal effort and never hurts. Why not add it to the arsenal.
      My recent post The Millennial Manifesto: How 80′s Babies Can Save the World

      1. Why would you make a big deal about small items? Why would you define someone's character based on how they treat women? I'm don't want to raise girls whose womanhood is based on the way others treat her.

        and once again, I don't do the whole 'good guy using a gangsta image' type of thing. Life is not a scorsese movie. Gangsters having rules makes it all seem romantic but the truth is these men define themselves on materials, not how a woman feels about them. If we want polite gangsters wait for boardwalk empire to comeback on.

    2. These rules are pretty second nature to me and I wouldn't necessarily call myself a nice guy, but a self-assured, mature man who makes sure his people around him are properly taken care of. I have qualities of a "nice guy", but i also have qualities that don't complement those two words as well and the majority of that is because I strictly adhere to Rule #5. I don't sell dreams or tell a woman what she wants to hear. Dream selling is the macro level, while telling a woman what she wants to hear is the micro level. When you are consistently honest with yourself and other's around you, that "nice guy" label will subside.

    3. @ CheeKZ I feel what you're saying here but to completely no sign when I am sure you are up on the G-Code in its purest and realest form is baffling to me.
      As Most put it the gentleman and gangster are not mutually exclusive. I am a 70's baby – I think I told you before I am not a youngster – so I grew up in a time of real gangster ish. My dad for one who is now a dr but hustled to pay his way through school. From the streets of Southside to Chicago to the streets of the LBC before Snoop was a thought!!! When you want to talk about a real G – my god-father, uncles and play uncles were G's and the epitomize what it means to be a gentlemen. I don't know all of the history or stories because they were gentlemen. Although the is was real they believed in God, took care of home, knew how to treat a woman and had their boy's back (some til death) but knew when to lay it all down. G-Code status!
      So again I feel you but a real G is a gentleman and not on some ol' rooty poot new age #thuglife crap we are seeing portrayed by these rappers and these fake arse gangbangers!!!
      IJS

  7. Love it. And I think the ladies need a G code of their own

    But – and you know I have to say this right? – I would add that a gentleman does not vanish into thin air but rather has the stones to tell people honestly and directly when he's chosen not to be in their lives any longer.
    My recent post Ask Max: FwB and Oral Sex

    1. Max, in the most eloquent words of the great philosopher Smokey:

      "Why you bringing up old sh*t?"

      That said, I cannot in good conscience add that to the G-Code. If I were to add something to the G-Code about how a G exits a relationship, it would've looked something like this:

      At minimum, a Gentleman uses the same amount of energy and effort it took to begin a romantic endeavor to end it.

      Sure over communicating is not a bad thing and maybe it helps sometimes, but sometimes it hurts, and until you've been in a situation where someone is irreparably hurt by your over communication of why you're leaving, I don't expect you all to understand. Women (and some men) will always call this cowardly, or BS, but to the real G, that doesn't matter. He does with the moment requires without thought of how he is subsequently perceived. G's don't mind being the villain. I'll be that, if that's what you need.
      My recent post The Millennial Manifesto: How 80′s Babies Can Save the World

      1. "At minimum, a Gentleman uses the same amount of energy and effort it took to begin a romantic endeavor to end it. "

        Oh ok, so if a man chases & borderline stalks you for weeks to express his interest in dating you then he should put forth comparable amounts of energy to express his disinterest in dating you?

        1. uhhh. I think that's what he's saying..

          (Ex:) If man chases – blows up your phone, text/bbm/emailing and borderline stalks you — pursues you heavily trying to get face to face time, then by all means once he decides he no longer wants you he should put in just as much effort to break it off with you instead of just disappearing.

        2. That's what I thought. But when I think about it, I don't think any man has ever "ended" anything with me. If anything, they just act up until I break it off with them. Idk where it falls into, but I wonder if it's g-code approved. *shrugs*

        1. Would you like to clarify the difference between a woman and a lady? And still when you say “grown woman” it evokes something else again. Explain? I always thought “being a lady” was ideal or maybe that’s just a southern thing. Coming up, when somebody told you to act ladylike you knew what they meant even though it had never been explained.

        2. I think “lady” rules call for a certain level of artifice, and creating of impressions for the public. The impression is often false. For the sake of being pleasant, demonstrating social class, and maintaining an appearance of being resistant to sex.

          The lady code is useful, but the rules would not be analogous to the G code.

          A grown woman is not as concerned with appearances. She will live truthfully in the face of scorn. She will be as sexually open as she feels and not pretend to have lower desires or fewer partners than she does.

          She will defend herself and go on the offensive if necessary with clear language that leaves no doubt about how she feels. Profanity or loudness is not necessary to achieve this, but she won’t pretend to be friendly with someone for the sake of appearances alone.
          A grown woman respects herself. Her respect is not based on other people. She knows her value does not lie in the vacancy level of her cookie, whether a man put a ring on it, the label on her clothes, or how well she can fool people about her true feelings.

        3. "A grown woman is not as concerned with appearances. She will live truthfully in the face of scorn. She will be as sexually open as she feels and not pretend to have lower desires or fewer partners than she does. "

          "She knows her value does not lie in the vacancy level of her cookie, whether a man put a ring on it, the label on her clothes, or how well she can fool people about her true feelings. "

          I agree… but good luck getting that amendment passed.

        4. Yeah, Imma have to call shenanigans on these descriptions. Being a grown woman doesn't mean that you're part of this new women's chexual liberation movement…and being a "lady" doesn't mean you're a prudish phony.

          I dunno bout this, lol…

        5. I feel this.

          also being a lady requires a level of discretion I think some people are just not comfortable with, or able to do. but I'm talking real life and not internet life and for some people there's a difference. it is what it is…. WC used the word artifice, but I just call it not everything is for public consumption….
          My recent post Dear Summer…

        6. Well Coug, I never took the time to define the two but your definition of grown woman evokes images of chicks wearing hair rollers in Walmart. Okay I'm kidding.
          A lady will be pleasant for the sake of it and I don't see how that's bad. That keeping the peace is mature especially out in public. She doesn't have to act like her enemey is her best friend but she will act cordially in her presence. A female goon is just not cute.
          Also, maintaining an appearance of being resistant to sex is also not true, she just believes in a time and place for such conversations and doesn't feel the need to talk about it every five minutes. A la lady in the streets, freak in the bed.(1/2)

        7. (2/2)
          I think your "She will defend herself and go on the offensive if necessary with clear language that leaves no doubt about how she feels" can describe a lady too. To be clear and concise with your language is just polite and considerate to the person on the receiving end. That double speak business is for the birds.
          Also, the "respects herself" part is ladylike too. A lady must maintain a certain level of self respect and air of confidence in order to carry herself like a person that deserves respect from others. A lady deserves respect and she demands it too but she never has to say a word to get it.
          And as far as demonstrating social class, I can't get with that either. Sounds like you're talking about a snob. A lady is polite to everybody regardless of their lot in life.
          Now to add to your grown woman definition, I would say that a grown woman gets sh.t done and she's ride or die. Some ladies can be too prissy I suppose. Or maybe it's the way they get things done that's the difference. Semantics I guess.

        8. Oh I almost forgot to mention that I used the word lady because gentleman was used in the post. Lady seems to be the gentleman's equal.

        9. "Also, the "respects herself" part is ladylike too. A lady must maintain a certain level of self respect and air of confidence in order to carry herself like a person that deserves respect from others. A lady deserves respect and she demands it too but she never has to say a word to get it."

          1000 likes for THIS RIGHT HERE!!!!!

          Sometimes, semantics make all the difference in the world, imo.

        10. I didnt say anything about liberation movements or prudishness. Im just talking about being honest with yourself and other people, whatever your level of desire and experience.

        11. Maybe I misinterpreted what you said (I don't think so, lol). But, mixing the desire stuff and false impressions stuff is what's throwing me off, lol. Being honest about any old thing doesn't make you grown, IMO. Depending on what you're being honest about, you can still be very immature, misguided, etc.

          I'll just stop there. Admittedly, I'm a bit old fashioned. I won't knock the hustle, lol…

        12. Based on what I'm reading in this thread, it sounds like the descriptions are similar, just depends on what comes to mind when you mention "lady" or "grown woman". To me, a grown woman IS a lady – but my mental of lady doesn't include lace gloves, finger sandwiches or curtsies. A woman recognizes her physical needs and takes care of them as she sees fit. A lady knows not to "talk up under her clothes". Most ladies are grown azz women who know how to keep their business personal, imo.

        13. "Most ladies are grown azz women who know how to keep their business personal"

          YES! And I'd slap "…without compromising their integrity" at the end.

        14. Well okay. Agree to disagree I say. You make being a lady sound like a bad thing is all and I really don't believe it is but I don't think being a grown woman is bad either so… Both have their merits.

        15. @krystallight you are talking in extremes. I’m talking about a person who is true to herself and others. Southern style old fashioned ladyhood rules call for a lot of unnecessary dishonesty for the puroise of appearances. That is fine and it works for a lot of people. Im just making a different definition for women to whom personal integrity is more important than appearance.

        16. That’s ironic because I thought your definition of lady was extreme, like something in a movie. Lol I’m thinking Tef is right tho.

  8. Here's another article of the G-Code in my opinion A GENTLEMAN DOES NOT PORTEND OR PRETEND TO BE SOMETHING OR SOMEONE HE KNOWS HE IS NOT.

  9. I must co-sign. Having dated Gs and non-Gs, I KNOW that real Gs are the men out here #winning. But Max is ABSOLUTELY correct. We need “The G-code, Ladies edition”. I’m off to write… Bbl with a link. If anyone has suggestions on what should be included, holla at me.

  10. Well, I know there will be a alot of co-signing from the ladies…but, most will probably feel like Cheekz does…because this post will hit too close to home for alot of fellas…..but, what is there really not to co-sign about this post….

  11. I think the term G, and the G-Code will always mean Gangsta. It's one of those words though… you know like the n-word. It's a lot cooler when you take off the -er and put an -a. I don't think this is a new thing post-crack either. 1) Mad people still using crack like it never went out of style, and 2) Gangsta rap ran at the same time as crack and that's pretty much when everybody wanted to be a gangsta. I think what would be an interesting way to look at it is to see the ways that we have legitimized the word Gangsta and made it to mean something that may not have anything to do with drugs or violence. Anyway…

    I agree with all of these. I would only add, maybe to #1.

    1b – Real Gs do not use subliminals to "knock the hustle". That happens everyday and people know it. It's a very awkward thing because it's the easiest way to gain plausible deniability and is in common use.

    1c – Real Gs do not run or blatantly lie when they're called out for "knocking the hustle." This could be expanded, but what this means is a G stands behind his words. You got a lot of cats out here these days who will deny three times on Sunday that they threw shade. Or even when they admit it, they pull the, "Nah I think somebody took it the wrong way, I didn't mean no foul." Yeah ok…
    My recent post My First Blog (The Final post on The Book of Jackson)

    1. Goons, Gangsta, Gentlemen: G code…hmm I think guys need to chill on what the term "G" means seriously just a call it "Guy code"

      1. Everytime I hear the word Goons, I think of Eddie Murphy, Delirious. So i'll never think the G-Code stands for that. Everybody here knows that G stands for Gangsta, Sprads just recommended that we bury that… and start anew.

        1. Oh so thats where Plies got the term! Ok…
          Honestly, the first thing that popped in my mind was "Gentlemen", and not goon or gangsta.
          Maybe thats because thats how I know "Most" via SBM. IDK

  12. Flat out, the latter part of rule 1 is bullshat. Simply because if men don’t police men, you are indirectly abdicating your responsibility & pushing it on other women. Especially in areas of combating the all too common instances of rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, reckless sexual behavior, etc etc. Yeah yeah yeah I can hear you complaining about the risks of stepping in and all that. Valid. Yet, if more men bothered to: 1. Acknowledge that more of their boys aren’t such nice guys; 2. Learn about & recognize the signs of their boys’ doing problematic isht; then the world would be a better place. A simple ‘dude, not cool’ dropped by a man’s ace when he shows the initial signs of douchebaggery/violence/sexual predation could stop a ton of ills. Silence equals cosigning to people who do harmful actions. A real gentleman doesn’t turn his head & keep his mouth shut.

    1. As I said below, I believe in good citizenship. Somethings supersede the code – consistent domestic violence is one of them, as is egregiously predatory sexual behavior.

      That said tho, I don't think it's possible for me to be friends with someone who's date raping chicks or doing all sorts of other universally terrible stuff like that. If you have friends like that you need to question what your giving off that makes someone like that feel like it's acceptable to be around you. People like that and people like me are allergic to one another.
      My recent post The Millennial Manifesto: How 80′s Babies Can Save the World

      1. "I don't think it's possible for me to be friends with someone who's date raping chicks…"
        Those a$$holes are not easy to spot.
        JustSayin: Its always possible…

    2. I would say that point #1 is against bad mouthing someone, or disrespecting their abilities, behind their back. I think it doesn't take into account a man going up to another man and telling him… Hey what you did is wrong, and here's how. But that's accountability to the character the man-in-the-wrong previously established, which reflects poorly on his circle (hence the other man questioning his motives). It's not a challenge (which I believe is the essence to #1), but a statement by Man B to Man A which requires Man A to reflect.
      My recent post Fool for you

      1. All this would be fine and dandy if men were really aware of just who is in their circle. Except a lot of men overlook problematic behavior in their boys simply because the behavior isn't the worst of the worst. Something isn't automatically "good" just because it isn't horrible.

    1. …which is great by the way. Although other schools of thought would say "A**holes win" by breaking Rules 3 and 5 to fight off competition, but that's another story…

      1. I think if that's the way a man has to win – if that's the only way for him to win, then I can't knock his hustle (until it directly infringes upon mine) but I can say I have very little respect for him.

        I think you can follow all the rules above and still smash as many chicks as you ever want to smash, and do all the other awesome stuff you'd like to do, and what's great is, no matter how many women you go through, and no matter how many feelings you hurt, people will always have a certain measure of respect for you because you kept it real and stuck to the code.
        My recent post The Millennial Manifesto: How 80′s Babies Can Save the World

  13. Sprads, I agree with most of your points, but ther touch the delicate side of the Code. Here are some more.

    There can many people with many opinions, only one decision led by one person.

    You lose money chasing women, but you'll never lose women chasing money.

    The hand knows when to caress and when to strike, may your caresses be gentle and your strikes deadly.

    Lie to women, Lie to children, Never Lie to Men.

    1. "Lie to women, Lie to children, Never Lie to Men. "

      How about don’t lie to any of the above because it will get you in some ish every time. Yes lying to children can cause them to act out, children aren’t as stupid as we think. Lying to women can get you shot, kick out, get your picture on "don’t date this ni**a.com", or hurt (the wrath of a women scorned is a wrath un matched). Lying to men will get your ass kicked ass a man or simple exed out of their circle.

      1. This phrase took some years to grow onto me but the older I become, the more I understand the message. It isn't directing men to lie to anyone, but the trust between a Man and another man is different between a man and woman (excluding husband/wife).

        If you don't understand or agree, that's fine. Once again, the G-Code is for Men, and not everything is to be agreed or even discussed by women.

        Cheers!

  14. This was a nice read. I, too, am unclear on the nature of the G. Gentleman code sounds nice. Gangsta? What makes someone a gangsta? I doubt a post will come up from that question. Moving along…

    At first, I thought that women could use a similar G-code of our own BUT that idea was quickly killed because it's in the nature of women to criticize (whether it's constructive, negative, logical, factual, etc). So the knocking hustle happens at first glance [of another's outfit, assets, and what have you]. Emotion-based actions? We live by them. Selling dreams? We've been accused of more.

    But I'm sure there are unwritten rules for everything. *shrug*

  15. A gentlemen doesn't let emotions affect his actions? I can't think of a single successful businessman in the history of successful businessmen that has not made a great many of choices based off emotions. Number 1 is problematic has well. How far do you extend it to those that you care about? Does your neighbor getting the sh!t beat out of her on a daily basis count? I'm sorry I question the moral fiber of a man who sits by and lets women, children, and other people in general get hurt because it doesn't affect him far more than that of someone who says a guy 'isn't about anything' trying to get the panties.

    1. Malik, reading is fundamental homey.

      "Rule # 4: A gentleman does not allow emotion to have undue influence on his actions."

      The key word in this rule is "undue".

      Further:

      "This is why a gentleman does his best to maintain control of his emotions and in the rare instances when he can’t, uses discipline and self-control to temper the resulting decisions and actions with reason and logic."

      To "temper the resulting decisions with reason and logic" does not mean to completely suppress your emotion but instead to not allow them to be the primary force driving your actions. Emotion, logic and reason should be used in commensurate measure as the situation calls.

      Also, monetary success is not everything. If sticking to my code means I have to sacrifice being filthy rich… so be it. But it does not, I'm sure of this.

      Now on the issue of domestic violence. I believe in community and I believe in good citizenship. If my neighbor is getting her a** whooped every single night I'm calling the cops every single night. But if my neighbor's husband is smanging the chick down the block every night, I'm not snitchin. Not my business, have no idea what's going on in their marriage.
      My recent post The Millennial Manifesto: How 80′s Babies Can Save the World

    2. Malik–

      How many of our female readers have you successfully been able to sleep with? I wish I could tell, but your money has no watermark when held to the light.

  16. This post is genius for a couple reasons:

    1. Women will eat this up.
    2. It's written in a way that any man that disagrees will look like a d*ck to the women that are eating this up.

    I agree on the importance of each of the code points, though I read the post 3 times because I couldn't 100% get onboard with it and here's why:

    1. As someone noted upthread, the latter part of #1 is basically saying men should never comment on what other men are doing. If I think someone is lazy, treating people like sh*t, or could be a lot more efficient in their life, I have the right to comment on that. Sometimes you need to just call someone what they are. Where the G is lost is when you just keep yapping about someone else's life, but never address them directly. At some point, it's either holler at them or stop mentioning their name. This applies to men and women.

    2. Chivalry ain't dead, it's just been redefined. I'll be honest. If I get out of work after a long day or I'm tired, back hurts (pause), or need to get some focused writing done, I'm keeping my seat on the train unless she's elderly, with child, or looks distressed. Then I'll get home and make boobookins feel all special, warm, fuzzy, and wet. I consider myself a gentleman (sans my vulgarity) so I have no qualm with any other part of this.

    3. #4 basically says stay calm, cool, and collected. Never let them see you sweat. I agree with the idea and men and women should strive toward this. But as someone that wrote a post called "It's ok to feel what you feel," I can't completely cosign. I think showing emotion is healthy. I think holding a bunch of sh*t in just to appear cool to a chick isn't. Negroes shouldn't be sobbing and eating sherbet though.

    It'll be interesting to see how this plays out today.
    My recent post I Be Paneling. Check Me Out!

    1. "Negroes shouldn't be sobbing and eating sherbet though." – The visual on this almost made me spill coffee on my keyboard. lol. iCan't with you.

    2. I don’t blame you about giving up the seat in the scenario stated above. I live in NYC and after a long day if the person standing in front of you is about to faint, you stay in your seat. I just don’t appreciate when a man tries to beat me to a seat. Don’t try to push me out the way for a seat you see me about to take. Also If you see me carrying a suitcase up the stairs all the way to the side by the rail don’t try to push me to the off the stairs cause you in a rush, either kindly say excuse me or help me with the bag.

      As Far as rule number one I read it as “a gentleman should never be a hater”. There’s nothing wrong with calling people out if they’re in the wrong just don’t act like a punk and talk mess behind their back and then try to dap them up when you see them in public.

    3. I feel you on the seat thing too. I think its more of a problem when I see a whole bunch of men (and women) sitting and no one gets up for the elderly. SMH…

      I dont expect random men to give me a seat but i DO expect it from a man I'm with.

        1. Many chivalrous actions stem from men helping out the 'weaker gender'. Women have fought to be considered equal to men. I dont know how we can all be considered equal if one portion of society treats the other like invalids. So although its nice when a guy gives up his seat I dont expect it and I wouldnt consider him less than for it.

        2. "Women have fought to be considered equal to men."

          I don't want to be treated as your equal.(men) I want to be treated better!!! *LOL*

          #Blanche Devereaux (RIP)

        3. "There is another side to chivalry. If it dispenses leniency, it may with equal justification invoke control.” Freda Adler

    4. "2. It's written in a way that any man that disagrees will look like a d*ck to the women that are eating this up."

      thanks for the heads up slim

  17. Good morning everyone 🙂 I’ve been an avid lurker for quite some time but I never posted anything lol. I just want to say I love this blog. The posts on her are insightful, funny and most importantly HONEST. Job well done on this piece. I especially love the the chivalry part. That in my opinion separates men from boys. In my experience I dated one guy who honestly had all 4 qualities. I was checking to see if he was all smoke and mirrors.His parents raised him properly. Sadly college tore us apart, but we’re still good friends.

  18. great post man. i agree with everything you've written 100%. two phrases stuck out to me.

    "For me, it’s not even chivalry it’s just part of being well mannered; it’s how I was raised."

    some people think i behave the way that i do or do certain things to get brownie points. that couldn't be further from the truth. i behave the way i do because i was raised to be respectful and have manners. there's a huge difference.

    "The only thing worse than seeing the devolution of a man during a fit of uncontrolled emotion is seeing that man make a poor decision because of it. This is why a gentleman does his best to maintain control of his emotions and in the rare instances when he can’t, uses discipline and self-control to temper the resulting decisions and actions with reason and logic."

    one thing i can't stand is seeing a man lose control of his emotions. i make it a point to try to be as even-keeled as possible. "if you can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two impostors just the same." i never try to get too high or too low.

    i like the moniker gentleman's code gangsta code.

    My recent post Marriage v. Children

  19. Hmm… let me just say Aha! The vocabulary! It really exemplified the essence of this post! (great!)

    Two things to add:
    1) Men that follow the G-Code are in cycle of continual growth, where the foundation remains the same. I think you can follow the rules of the code, but it's not until you're tested do you really understand their invariable nature.
    2) A real gentleman takes time to give back, be it to one or one hundred, they will find that other man on their journey of G-ness and try to teach them the right way. What the mentee does with that information is up to him.

    I also think that just because someone follows a set of rules or a moral code doesn't mean that their perfect. It doesn't mean that they always make the best choices or have positive outcome. For me, it means that no matter their circumstances they have the wherewithal to keep striving because the groundwork remains the same.
    My recent post Fool for you

    1. 1) Men that follow the G-Code are in cycle of continual growth, where the foundation remains the same. I think you can follow the rules of the code, but it's not until you're tested do you really understand their invariable nature.

      Co-sign 10000% …. Never settle with who you are, but always strive to be a better you … Constant Self-improvement should be a staple to a G.

  20. As usual, good work Most. I believe that I married a real G – he may be in the running for the Worst Dressed G of All Time but he's a good man, a great husband and father and a true gentleman. My dad was the same way. Didn't give 2 shyts about what anyone thought of them outside of their family. Never too cool to do what's necessary. Realize that their "manliness" quotient is defined more by how they care for their family than their wardrobe, car, who sees them poppin' bottles or how many women they sleep with.

  21. I agree with the general concepts. I have some slight dissenting points I'll discuss below.

    Rule # 2: Chivalry is not dead. I agree. However, I notice the majority of your chivalrous points are limited to how you act towards your woman. If that's the case, then we are in agreement. If you're saying this is how I should act towards all women, I’m going to have to disagree.

    I don't actively disrespect any woman anymore. Nevertheless, I'm not going to do all these chivalrous acts for a complete stranger either and I think that's part of the confusion. I'm more of the mindset that I am obligated to treat my woman the best and all other women good, excluding family, whom I treat relatively the same. As an example, I'm not likely going to give my seat up on the train for a perfectly able bodied woman I dont even know. That's just me. (1/2)
    My recent post Maybe I Should Have Called Her

    1. (2/2) Rule # 5: Gentleman Do Not Sell Dreams I dont disagree with this point more than I'd like to add my own clarification. I dont sell dreams but I dont discourage them either. By our very interaction, on a serious tip, I believe it is perfectly reasonable and natural for her and I to "dream" about where things may go. I think the confusion comes when the two visions dont align. I can only be responsible for what I said and did, not what she thought and assumed. I'm going to need there to be an open line of communication so I am not held responsible for "contractual agreements" I never agreed to.

      I agree, "A gentleman is forthright and presents himself as who he is, regardless of how that impacts his interpersonal relationships." I also believe to a degree, my responsibility ends there.

      PS – these character limits are refusing to let my comments be great
      My recent post Maybe I Should Have Called Her

      1. Regarding selling dreams; if you notice that she may be getting the wrong impression, and that causes her to behave in a way that is beneficial to you, do you clarify things or do you wait for her to ask you where your head is?

        1. Depends. I see this easily becoming a circular conversation. The fact that a woman is dealing with me is in itself beneficial to me. It would be foolish of me to preemptively terminate every relationship simply because I'm not sure where the relationship is heading, especially if I've communicated this information of front. With that said, every relationship is not going to work out – and that's life. Thus, every investment into a relationship, technically, is a risk taking experience.

          It's easier if she simply asks where my head is at because that would start the conversation. I'm not a mind reader. If she doesnt like the answer, she is free to move along. If she assumes the answer without ever asking the question – and she is incorrect – well, that's her bad.

        2. What if she truly believes the relationship is going in a direction you dont see it going? She has no doubt and no reason to ask. If you are acting like a boyfiend after you put out your initial disclaimer, you are expecting every woman to assume your actions are false and you cannot change your mind. That’s asking for a lot just so you dont have to be responsible.

        3. Like I said, this conversation is circular. What you're saying implies that every woman I treat nice, even in the confines of a relationship, should assume the relationship is going somewhere. As I said on Twitter, I think men and women wholly view relationships differently, which is why communication is key. All this conjecture and projection about another person's intent is flawed in my humble opinion.

          I'll write about this in full some other day. Dont have the time or energy to venture into this black hole today.

      2. "PS – these character limits are refusing to let my comments be great"

        Agreed! LOL… Your Rule #5 comment is very political. This is what I got from it (the Gangsta version):

        If I can tell this chick is practically dreaming/planning/etc. couple-dom for us (she didn't say it, but I can tell by her actions), I'm not gonna straight up tell her "it ain't happening"…even if thats the case…might end our "Cuffing Session" early. Now, if she SAYS something about us being a couple and I ain't feeling that, I need to be straight-up THEN…but outside of that…I can just claim plausible deniability (even though it'd be a lie).

        *reviews wording* MUCH better, lol. 😉

        1. I learned when I went to college that many young black men think like WIM. Even going to what may be the most racist college in American history, a white guy would offer up his seat or hold the door open for me before a black guy would.

        2. I'm a bit confused by your comment. You seem to be suggesting that white men – in your experience – are more gentlemen-like than black men. If that's the case, you're welcome to your opinion.

          In regards to the context of MY comment – for clarification – I'm not giving my seat up for a white woman or a black woman. Furthermore, I ride the train every day of the week and see plenty of white men not giving up their seat to white women or women of any race….Regardless, I'm impressed with your ability to inject race into a comment that had nothing to do with race. Such is life.

        3. Yea, that's exactly what I was suggesting. It was something I noticed in my (and many of my friends') experience: white men appear to be more chilvarous than black men.

          But I also think it has more to do with where you're raised & how you're raised. Of course what I experience down South will likely differ from someone on the east coast. But when you commented, I remembered my friends & I having a conversation in undergrad wondering why a white guy would offer up his seat to us before a black guy would, that's how I managed to inject race into this thread.

        4. "…a white guy would offer up his seat or hold the door open for me before a black guy would." Yup PK…sadly agree.
          Although I wont say a majority of BM are the culprits, but it is disheartening that this is a true statement. 🙁

        5. I don't think that should just apply to men though. Women should give up their seats for unable(?) bodied folks too. It's just polite. I've given my seat up to old folks, pregnant women and dudes on crutches before. It's just nice. Does that make a person a G? I think it's just considerate.

    2. I think the essence of chivalry is that these good manners are on display regardless of who is involved and whether or not it benefits your agenda to do so.

      Also I'm with Krystle, some of these manners apply to ladies as well…hold doors for the people behind you, give up your seats to the elderly or physically impaired.
      My recent post Race – an illegitimate concept.

  22. I like most of it. I carry myself like a lady so I expect the men in my circle to carry themselves like gentleman. I call my male friends out on their behavior repeatedly, and its worked. I definitely have noticed a change. Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect, they call me out on my stuff too lol, and I appreciate it, because I am a better person for my interactions with them. You can't just surround with people who won't knock your hustle, you need people who will critique and challenge and you force you to become better.

    So… I guess I do take issue with #1. I never really understood what that phrase meant, but I believe its important to hold ppl accountable. This whole idea that "live and let live" as long as it doesn't affect "me and mines" just rationalizes apathy and I think apathy is a big problem in our community. Its just not the attitude of a true leader and leadership is something that is painfully absent in our community. Take Malcolm X. Why is he the iconic figure he is, and not Elijah Muhammed? Technically, Elijah was Malcolm's superior, but why do remember Malcom and not Elijah? Malcolm he kept himself up above reproach and took other people to task for poor behavior. He refused to turn a blind eye to Elijah Muhammed's shenanigans like everyone else was doing. He knocked Elijah's hustle repeatedly and unapologetically. I really respect him for that.

    Now I know your code was about being a "G" and not a world changer, but I'm a pretty idealistic person, and one of my personal philosophies are that in order to really affect change, you gotta step out of your bubble and impact someone else's. So it colors my world view.

    My recent post Once Again… Not in Kansas anymore

  23. I know I'll get a million dislikes for this, but I've learned that non-G's are good men to keep around. They'll tell you stuff that your boo dsnt want you to know, thinking it's gonna catapult (sp?) them out of the friend zone. I'd never date a man who rats on another man, but these simps don't realize it. And you can actually get pretty good advice from them, even if you're getting it for the wrong reasons.

  24. First, kudos to Mr. Spradley. Another awesome post.

    Second, kudos to the S/EBM, the six writers, and the regular commenters that makes this online community what it is, on over 2,000 likes of Facebook.

    Reading the comments, I think some people have “You can’t knock the hustle” confused with “You must respect the hustle”. Being a gentlemen doesn’t mean acceptance of everything everyone does, just that you leave them to their own devices if it doesn’t affect you. I don’t have to respect the drug dealer that is degrading our people and our communities, but at the same time, I don’t knock his hustle because if there aren’t willing customers who purchase the product, the drug dealer wouldn’t do what he does.

    1. (2/2)

      In regards to the domestic abuse comments: if a man is a woman beater, I don’t respect him as a man. At the same time, if my neighbor is a woman beater, I may or may not call the cops, but I’m not intervening directly*. White-knighting can get you killed, and despite being a gentleman, all women aren’t ladies and all women aren’t worth defending. If this dude is beating a woman on a nightly basis, I may call the cops once. If she’s still there after the first beating, she’s on her own (#bobbybrown).

      *Granted, I may intervene by nature, especially if I see a dude hit a woman in front of me, because I don’t like the strong picking on the weak. However, I would likely stop and think if intervening is worth it.

  25. I just hope and pray that men would follow the original G-Code, the God Code. That takes real courage, strength of character and alleviates the need for anything else; in my humble opinion. I really do enjoy the positivity of your work Mr. Most. Thanks!

  26. The only thing I can say about Gs is that there are a few men that can be nice, chivalrous to every woman, treat all women with respect, always be honest and have women lining up to get with them. These women know the men have other women and they deal with it. I’m not talking about ballers. Im talking about real men who have such strong confidence that they can be generous and not feel like a sucka. They have high level game. They are masters to the point that women can know thier game and willingly fall for it.

    Low level game is when you feel like you have to be dishonest to get what you want. And that applies to ommissions and giving false impressions. If you have so little that you cant afford to buy a drink, dinner, open a door, give a compliment, call or send a text before shes indicated interest, show a little emotion, then you are on low level game and that might affect the quality o women you get. Which reinforces low level game.

  27. Nice Post

    Chivalry ISN'T Dead!!! I know this for a fact because lord knows how many times a complete stranger has come to my aide for whatever reason, the last time of something utterly significant was when my car just stalled while I was driving down a residential block because I hit a slight snow drift and since my tank was practically on E and still frozen, it shut down.
    This dude happen to be driving by and he stopped, pushed Kittygirl off to the side of the road and then HE went to the nearest gas station and brought me back some gas. I've had young knuckleheads see me in the parking lot trying to life a couple cases of water into the car and they offered their assistance, therefore it's hard for me to buy into this "Chivalry is Dead amongst the younger generation" business; I think it all boils down to home training.

    As for your Rule #1. I can understand the principle (G-Code) behind it but I can't 100% cosign it. "Each One Teach One"

  28. Ok, so I got super churchy while reading #2, LOL. It went kinda like this…

    "You should open doors" SAY IT!
    "pull out chairs" MY MY!
    "stand upon introduction" Use him, Holy Ghost!
    "walk on the outside" Preach, Preacha!
    "foot the bill during courtship unless she insists otherwise" YES YES YES!!!!!!

    This is a great post. I sense that a LOT of men will be finding fault with it, lol. Someone commented that fellas disagreeing with the list will appear to be jerks or some variant of that. If the shoe fits…

    And I agree that Rule #2 seems to be more about gossip/nagging type stuff…not close man friends having "real talk"…holding each other accountable to the G-code, man laws, etc…

  29. "For me, it’s not even chivalry it’s just part of being well mannered; it’s how I was raised"

    So true. Every time I come across ill-mannered men, my mind goes straight to how they were raised. I think more men need to think about how poor behavior reflects on their mothers/fathers(or whomever raised them)

    "A gentleman is forthright and presents himself as who he is, regardless of how that impacts his interpersonal relationships"

    I think this is gold! This should def make it into the L code too.
    My recent post Race – an illegitimate concept.

    1. "A Gentleman/Lady is forthright and presents himself/herself as who s/he is, regardless of how that impacts interpersonal relationships"

      Good insight!

  30. I am new to the site and I agree. I would also add a couple more or it can be collapsed into one. Never gossip about another man, that's not a G thing to do. If some one tells u another man has a messed up personality don't believe them till u interact with the person. I believe not all man are treated equal, a person may act one way to one person and act another way to you. It can be several reasons for that. Lastly, even if you personnel don't like a man u still should respect them. If not that's when the problem starts, like Mr. Spradley mentioned 'hands down man down!'

  31. Rule #3 is the absolute GOSPEL! I would have women ask me myu opinion on men and their moves. I wouldn't comment but when forced, i wou;ld offer the "I dont want to say shyt because Im not a hater and I dont break down cats to build me up" disclaimer. Its happened SO MUCH to me before, that i cant reciprocate. Better than that!

    1. I have to say that this is one of those mentalities that I dislike (no shots at, or disrespect to you in particular). The "no snitching" movement does not appeal to me in any of its forms. I once had a friend who'd told me that he would either straight up lie to any female friend inquiring about some guys' potentially shady character, or simply state that it was none of his business even though he was very much aware of what was going on. My thing is, friends look out for each other, and I expect that my guy friends would do their best to prevent me from getting involved with someone of questionable character. It has nothing to do with breaking others down to bring oneself up, particularly if one has been explicitly asked about something.

    1. I'll have to say, yes. But, I think there's a difference between healthy chauvinism ("loving man of the house", "Caring, concerned head of household") versus unhealthy chauvinism ("woman, fetch my slippers NOW"). LOL… Healthy chauvinism…minus the "he's better than me cause he's a man/tyrant" part…is cool with me. Doesn't scare me or detract from me.

      "The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants." – My Big Fat Greek Wedding

      "A good woman leads from the rear." – I don't remember who said it and it doesn't matter, lol. It's the truth!

      1. I'm not even thinking of the chauvinistic tyrant. I'm thinking more along the lines of the guy that has that 'healthy chauvinism' with an attitude like "Oh darling… Dont you worry your pretty little head about these decisions I am making. You wouldn't understand anyway."

        1. "Oh darling… Dont you worry your pretty little head about these decisions I am making. You wouldn't understand anyway."

          LMBO! Kissing me while treating me like I rode the short yellow bus to school won't work either though…LOL…but I get you're point, lol.

    2. Kema: "I remember reading once that men that are more 'chivalrous' are usually more chauvinistic."

      This is what Michael Eric Dyson meant by the "iron fist in a velvet glove". Chivalry by nature places women on a pedestal. While that means preferential treatment in some areas, chivalry also confines women to certain limits.

  32. This needs to be passed out to every man woman and child in the world! I am particularly fond of #2 and #5. I think I've only been with one person who has followed the G-Code but when we went our separate ways he kinda abandoned it with his post-Kriola relationships ( I know this because we are good friends now) it baffled me a little bit, maybe it was college and greek life……but I think he's in the process of adopting the rules again.
    My recent post this is what you call a strong…

  33. I think a lot of the men are confusing chivalry with plain old courtesy. To me, chivalry is going above and beyond simple courtesy, meaning a chivalrous able-bodied man on a train or a bus or wherever would give up his seat for any woman, no matter what her condition. I don't expect it, but that's, to me, what makes it chivalrous.

    If I'm walking out of a door closely behind a man OR woman, and they don't hold the door open, that's just rude to let it slam in my face. I expect this. These are called manners, not chivalry. Chivalry is a characteristic of a "distinguished gentleman" and sets him apart from the rest. Common courtesy is expected (that's why it's called common). See the difference?
    My recent post Dateable or Mateable?

    1. But common courtesy is so uncommon these days. We're trying to teach my son how to be a gentleman. I hold the door open for folks so I expect him to and he does, sometimes for a long line of people. Do you know how many thank you's he gets? Hardly any. It's hard to teach your kid manners and courtesy when other folks don't have it. So what's supposed to be common is coming across as chivalrous.

      1. I agree, coutesy is no longer common, but I guess I'm just trying to clarify the "G-code." These guys are calling it a "gentleman's" code, but don't even really understand what chivalry is, since a lot of them agreed that they would not give up their seat to a woman, unless she was in a delicate condition or somehow impaired. I'm glad you're teaching your son how to be a gentleman, but I also think, when it comes to women, there's more to being a gentleman than just opening doors and pulling out chairs. To me, it goes beyond common courtesy and a lot of men aren't learning this.
        My recent post Street Etiquette: Fashion and the Heterosexual Male

        1. Maybe these are half g's or pseudo-g's. lol IDK but if we're really courteous, we'll excuse them for their lack of courtesy since we don't know what's going on in their lives. Maybe they had a bad day, maybe their momma's didn't teach them or what have you but what would be chivalrous is for us to just let it be. Below, Malik just said he might have eight plus stops. I would feel bad for taking his seat. And a dude like Slim Jackson can sit all he wants as long as he lets me gaze upon his beauty.

        2. @krystllyght [email protected] (you might have something there) I sense someone has an e-crush…don't let me get in the way 🙂

          They're all excused for their lack of courtesy. As long as they understand what it means to be chivalrous. I think chivalry came about when women were held to be the "weaker vessel." Some women make it impossible for men to treat them as such, but I'm an old soul. I appreciate some good old-fashioned chivalry.
          My recent post How To Defend a Racist Rant by Katt Williams

        3. "…And a dude like Slim Jackson can sit all he wants as long as he lets me gaze upon his beauty."

          Co-sign on Slim's beauty and based on these e-streets, I truly believe he's quite the gentleman too, which is rare, considering he's in that supposed "highly eligible bachelor" status that gives a lot of these guys permission to be a**holes all day. Oh and I feel the same way about Most (Spradley?) too, not that I necessarily agree with EVERYTHING they have to say! Lol

      2. "Do you know how many thank you's he gets? Hardly any"

        I know! it's really sad. Sometimes i wanna look at people and be like "you're welcome" It especially irks me when women do this; A guy opens your door, pulls out your chair, picks up the tab – you ought to express gratitude.

        At the end of the day, you just have to teach him that his good manners shouldn't be dependent on others'
        My recent post Race – an illegitimate concept.

        1. Oooh chile! I think an old lady thought she was schooling me one day this summer. She was coming out of the door and so I held it for her but she didn't let it go and then she looked at me and was like "you're welcome." All I could say was "thank you" because I was so shocked, I was standing there trying to hold the door for her but she was holding it for me.
          What got me recently was at the movies, I opened the door to allow my son to go through and THREE teenage kids just walked through, didn't look at me or anything like it was my job. I said "you're welcome" but I guess they didn't hear me. Made me wanna find their momma.

  34. Good post! I've always been interested in these sort of things that men "abide" by, the whole 'G' Code and Man Law are always a point of curiosity.. thanx for the break down!

  35. Ladies, have you had or do you have men in your life who you’ve noticed maintain a strict adherence to this sort of code?
    I have some friends who adhere to the G-code, but most that I've come in contact do not.

    What about the flipside, have you dealt with men who habitually violate the above?
    Many men seem to be live by very little honor these days; however, there are some that have indeed follow such codes of ethic.

    Which side have you had better relationships with? Do you find one side more attractive than the other?
    I much prefer the Alpha male type personality. I like a man who stands for something. Flimsy, b1tch-a$$ men are the worst creation since the quick weave or $39.99 lace-front.

  36. Very refreshing post as the act of being chivalrous and a true gentleman 'seems' to be a dying art. I think men feel that women want to be equal and chivalry is just a thing of the past, but nothing could be farther from the truth. For women it's the little things that make us feel special. A simple date like a walk in the park can be most memorable with a true gentleman.

  37. Great article. Fortunately, I do experience the chivalrous side of a man but I still deal with those pretending to be something they aren't, making promises they can't or won't keep (whether it is intentional or not, it is what it is).

  38. I always reject these kinds of things. There is nothing in your code that prevents a group of slave masters from adopting it. If fact, some of the most racist, sexist people were consider the most refined gentle of their society. If so do your research, you'll find the genesis of the concept of the "gentleman" rooted in classism, racism, and sexism. Why am I saying this? I bring you down, no. There are many good moral things in the gentlemen code. But there are many other things that are deeply problematic. For example, look at rule # 1. If I started a business that exploited the poor, can you hate no my hustle then? Look at rule # 2. Do you really care about women or are you just motivated by benevolent sexism?

    I think these codes are useless. In fact, often they are the vessels of past -ism. All a man has ever needed was to be loving, a careful and fiercely rigorous thinker, and humble.

  39. I think you should add that a man that doesn’t protect and provide for his family is less than a man. I speak specifically about baby-daddies but it applies even if you have no children. A man who would willfully put his family members in danger (of any sort be it legal, physical, medical, psychological, or financial) has very low respect for his lineage and thus himself. I say this because your lasting rememberance on this earth will be through your family and children. If you forget your family, they will forget you. Don’t go out like that. Follow me on twitter @704boy56

  40. Why do you have to make this masculine & only reference a man? G means God. It’s following in a code that God put on this earth that people can either consciously or subconsciously follow but is in no means just a reference to men. If you do want to reference that in men’s behavior on the street it would actually be the women that truly follow this code & are honored for it as there are few & far between that can handle such a lifestyle or the truths within it. Regardless it IS GODS CODE & is meant for only a select few to recognize that is taught in secret in such a way that even the pupil does not know or ever see who is teaching them this. It’s laid out in color codes, symbols, shapes, & numbers. It is in NO REFERENCE TO A PARTICULAR SEX NOR IS IT IN REFERENCE TO A PARTICULAR RACE so perhaps before you take the time to write about this subject you should stop giving glory to a specific group of people to teach this to. Doing that makes the author completely unaware of this code as well. Preaching about very carefully following rules that even the most simple of this theory is being entirely ignored makes this entire rest of the article irrelevant & an attempt to steal this information & only give it to a particular group. Doing this will always end badly as those who know the rules will stumble upon these attempts & crush the agenda of the informant to suppress this information from the well rounded group in an attempt to only pass it along to a particular group of people. Gods disciples will be of every race, every age, of both sexes to successfully get the message of his enigma codes “properly” integrated into society. What the author is doing here is a complete violation of that. And even if he truly believes it does mean gentleman then I would have to say he has completely failed in acting that role. Stop being rude! Start digging deeper then what’s right in front of your face! The true message is never front & center, it’s always hidden in the background. This means that the G code will never be properly perceived by those you are putting front & center to get this message out to.
    Don’t shoot the messenger here, blame the author & the ignorance that consumes his mind.

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