Today’s Post is part of a new series:”Engaged Black Male”. I’ll investigate marriage, being engaged, and all of the thoughts that swim through the head of a black man as he enters engagement and prepares for that lifelong commitment.
As any man prepares to take that lifelong plunge, there is a lot that we think about and a lot of fears that we must overcome. There are a lot of personal demons that we fight, a lot of doubt that we expel and a lot of doubt injected by our best friends that we have to ignore.
Marriage is scare as f* … here are some thing
I personally all men think about after they buy the ring
She is only marrying me because she’s afraid of being single
Suppose the “love of your life” is just settling. Suppose it’s not that you complete her and make her life worth living, but she is just concerned about never being married and never having a good man to take care of her. No one wants to be “that guy” …
She got a man on the side
No one wants to be cheated on, but you really don’t want to marry the person who is cheating on you. Sure … you think that she is in her private room before the wedding making sure her veil is on right, but she is might be letting the “side piece” get a quick beat while she’s in her wedding dress … cause that sh* is hot. Can’t speak for everybody, but the day I get caught up… someone is getting murdered (talking to you love!).
You aren’t ready to be a husband
Any real man wants his woman happy. And if he can’t keep her happy … she should at least be fed and not hating life. Real men worry about being a good provider. Suppose I’m not supportive enough (I really don’t know how to support others … always seemed like too much work)? Suppose I don’t compromise enough (still not sure why people don’t just assume I’m right)? Suppose I don’t … man, I don’t know … whatever a husband is supposed to do? Sometimes I wish I could get another year or two to get ready.
One Woman … the rest of your life
Really … think about it. For the rest of your life you are committing yourself to just one woman. No exploring … no testing things out … no more pulling the baddest chic in the club back to your spot. You have made your decision and that’s it. Nicki Minaj (I don’t care if it’s fake or not) somehow got my number, is in town for one night, and just heard that I have that super mean pipe game. Well … I can’t do sh&. That … that is scary (cause you know she has been trying to get at me for a minute, but prolly just couldn’t get my number cause its not listed).
A Breakup will cost you 50%
One great thing about a relationship is that if it’s not working out … you can dip. Sure breaking up isn’t fun, but it’s always an option. You can leave, she’ll cry, you’ll smash again. Now … if you get tired or bored … it’s half of everything you own. As someone who has gotten accustomed to a certain quality of life … I don’t know if I can handle that!
Marriage is an elaborate plot by the government to keep black man down
I know I’m not the only one who is concerned about this …
Marriage … it’s scary. What about marriage scares you?
– SBM aka I confront my fears aka “I ain’t never scared!”