Home Featured Engaged Black Male: Quirks of an Engaged Black Male

Engaged Black Male: Quirks of an Engaged Black Male


Today’s Post is a part of the Engaged Black Male Series. Now that I’m engaged (yeah … no more Single in the name) life is different.  This series takes you into the mind of a Black Man preparing for Marriage and all that it entails.  Enjoy!


SBM Bachelor Party: A celebration of life!

I’m weird.

Not crazy “Don’t talk to that n-bomb” weird … just about certain things.  But for real … so is everyone else.

Sometimes, all I want to do with a blog post is expose myself a little more (pause).  Put a little more of me out there for public consumption in the hopes that I magically connect with someone else who realizes … they feel me.

Every once in awhile I sit and reflect.  I think about those random things I like or hate … things that make me … me.  My Quirks.  Today, you get the EBM version, the SBM versions were here, here and here though.

I don’t need my parents at my wedding.

I’m surprised how odd this is to people.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents.  They are still in my life, still supportive of me, and still celebrate my successes.  A lot of what I do in life is so I can make sure I can give them a comfortable life as they age. BUT … I don’t need them at the wedding. I don’t need any suggestions, criticisms, or anything that will distract me from the latest addition to the family.  I would love them to be there, but I’m not crying if they aren’t trying to make the 25 hour flight to the Greek Isle (which is where the wedding would be if I had my way!)

See Also:  Are you standing in the way of being happy?

I don’t need to be congratulated … just doing what I had planned to do.

I know … it’s a joyous occasion.  I’m getting married, people are happy, ladies are crying and all that nonsense.  But for me … I planned to get married years ago and this is just the next step in my life.  I’m happy and looking forward to it, but please stop.  The attention was nice for the first week, but let’s move on people …

I want my bachelor party to be bigger than my wedding.

I am dead ass serious.  A wedding is an intimate ceremony where two people go through a process that results in a new union.  It should really be focused on them two and no one else really.

A bachelor party … ssssshhhhhhiiiiiiiiit.  That’s a party.  Everyone I ever knew, went to school with, worked with, shared a drink with needs to come out and send me off in style.  I get one last chance to go hard before I have to consider someone else in every decision I make for the rest of my life.  A bachelor party is a celebration of life … just so happens that titties are needed to remind me how great life is.

I’m not wearing pink … or salmon … or teal … or …

See Also:  Stay At Home Wife ... Thats Bullsh*t!

Wedding isn’t for me, I get that.  But can I at least ensure that I am not forever captured with a pink vest on?  Funny thing … I wear pink, salmon, and teal … but it’s different when I have to show my kids the pictures for years and years.

Quirks are anything that you like or hate … that you think most other people won’t agree with you … but who cares.  Some more examples:

– Men not dating women who don’t own smartphones
– Women refusing to date a guy who won’t wear sneakers
– Men refusing to date a Delta … because they are crazy

My quirks … crazy or make sense?  Your quirks … what are they?

SBM aka Making it rain with a wedding ring on aka “Yes … I rented out the entire city of Magic”



  1. I don't want a wedding. Have never dreamt about it, planned one, want to plan one etc etc…I've been told this is not the norm for females…*shrugs*

    1. i hear that from alot of women now a days not that wierd at all. I have only thought about it because i have been to three of friends so its a matter of what i want to do and don’t like wearing pink .lol

    2. Me neither, not really. I don't know if I really had a great example of weddings. All the African weddings I've been to have been mad fun–for the guests. But the bride and groom always look uncomfortable as shit and I think it's ingrained an apprehensiveness about weddings in me.

      1. really? my sister married a Nigerian and her wedding was literally the BEST wedding I have ever seen or been to in my entire life…people are STILL talking about the wedding and it has nearly been 2 years….guests had a blast and so did my sis and her husband…

  2. I don't want a large wedding because I feel like its awkward to have 100+ people stare at you for almost an hour and then again for the entire reception. That ish makes me nervous.

    I agree about going all out at the bachelor/bachelorette party.

    1. Agreed…aside from fam/close friends most audiences consist of coworkers, neighbors and respective dates. I barely let these people know im in a bad mood now they are finna witness me at my emotionally highest.

  3. Before i get into my quirks i gotta address one thing you said, ” I get one last chance to go hard before I have to consider someone else in every decision I make for the rest of my life.” My friend you past that point long ago. As soon as you decided in yourself that this was a serious relationship and that there was a strong possibility that you could marry this woman you should have been conditioning yourself to think WE and not I. Marriage isnt some magical ceremony that will instantly change you. If you are thinking “I” now then you will afterwards. It takes time to really make that change.

    Mark my words. Copy that ish down. Memorize it. Print it. Paste it on your frigid. Im trying to keep you from many bad nights.

    Now as for my quirks….I felt very different from you. For one my parents had to be there. I couldnt picture it any other way. Maybe im just traditional in that way but i needed that. Maybe its because my wife and I had already had it set that its OUR wedding. And that whatever decisions WE make are final…..Period. Whether you are helping with money or not.

    As for the congratulation comments….i feel you. At some point it does get annoying. Especially the constant “So are you nervous” questions. That was actually pissing me off.

    The Bachelor Party!!!!! Wanting to be sent off right…..nothing wrong with that. I however didnt need any foreign titties or asses for mines. I looked at it like this, i never cheated on her at any point during our dating so why in the final days before we wed and I going to intentionally do so? And especially with some dirty stripper who’ll suck any dick wrapped in a dollar!?!?! Nah Im good. Them chicks got no standards with who they dealing with. I know they done sucked off at least 3 different kinds of VD. Nah…..smh…..not trying to explain to the misses why im taking medication for the Clap on our honeymoon.

    As for colors….i actually picked out our colors. It was basically the only thing i asked for. The rest of the wedding was pretty much whatever she wanted. Had a big reception; almost 300 people. Amazing time of which i only remember about 45 minutes of lol. Just so much happening it felt like a whirlwind.

    1. "I looked at it like this, i never cheated on her at any point during our dating so why in the final days before we wed and I going to intentionally do so? And especially with some dirty stripper who'll suck any dick wrapped in a dollar!?!?! "

      That ain't really what happens is it?

      1. I could tell you some stories lol. Its not at all though. Some dudes might just have dancers that only entertain and, well, dance. But yes, for some, it most definitely can and does happen.

    2. Preach! You pulled out exactly what I was going to say about the, "before I have to consider someone else in every decision I make for the rest of my life" comment. Everything else you said is the truth & I love you for it 🙂

      1. LOL thanks. Im just speaking from my own experience as well as that of close friends and family. I use to do things as a single dude that i had to get out of the habit of doing. Just one example….i have many female friends on FB. On occasion when one i had a certain amount of comfort with would post a nice/sexy pic i would leave a comment that could be considered quite flirtatious. It could be something as simple, from a males perspective, as “Damn! I see you”. Let the misses see that and its a problem. Let one of her friends see it and bring it to her attention…..nuclear meltdown. Because now she is not only upset i wrote it but she is embarrassed that her friend(s) saw me “flirting” with another woman. When i was single id do it without even thinking about it and meaning nothing by it. Problem was that when we started dating i still did it out of habit. Again not even thinking about it. Got in a lot of trouble with that one….smh.

    3. "i never cheated on her at any point during our dating so why in the final days before we wed and I going to intentionally do so?"

      ~ I've never understood the mentality of men or women for that matter that have the stripper parties. And most reasons surrounding them falls under the "one last time…or one last free feel on random women/men"…. If you look at your upcoming wedding ceremony as some death sentence, why are you getting married? smh

    4. "Mark my words. Copy that ish down. Memorize it. Print it. Paste it on your frigid. Im trying to keep you from many bad nights." — LAUGHING HARD AND OUT LOUD……

      This Boy Good…..^^^^^

  4. Wedding at the greek isle tho….shiiiiiit i need to start a blog lol.

    But ummm random quirks of mine

    My girlfriend is just my girfriend: Shes not my wifey, my other half, I go out without her, i dont know where she is 24/7 and every status/tweet doesnt involve her.

    Random nicknames: I’ve learned to tolerate “T” (apparently Tristan is sooo hard to say) but T Dog, Big Guy, Young Fella, T-Man will have me ready to take it to that ghetto university

    Dont ask me why am i so quiet: Idk why people suddenly think when they say i’m quiet i will suddenly open up to them.

  5. My Quirks :

    I didn't want to get married without my mom being there. My dad on the other hand, I told him about the wedding 4 days before the nuptials in a sort of after-thought convo. Didn't expect him to come…my older son was giving me away.

    I didn't want to have a large wedding nor reception. Not my thing. To have a bunch of folks I only see at other weddings and funerals come to see me get married and have me feed them at like 30 bucks a head. Nah…I was good on that. We had a small intimate wedding and a small fly reception with only our closest family and friends.

    I don't hang with uncool nerds. I love being an undercover nerd and associate with those that are like me. What are undercover nerds? Great sense of style, awesome sense of humor, often attractive, yet smart as hell. Usually in very intellectually challenging career fields yet they know how to have fun when off the clock.

    My recent post Second time around….

  6. I don't think any of that is quirky. In fact, I can co-sign all of it except maybe the bachelor party thing. The way you describe it though, it makes sense kind of. I don't want you looking forward to the bachelor party more than the wedding though. Just saying. I didn't have a wedding but I would've been cool if my people didn't show up to the JOP, and the wearing of certain colors, I can understand. I used to be that way about certain articles of clothing, like I used to hate boots. We cool now though. I didn't get a lot of congratulations though. That's a little weird. (1/2)

    1. My quirks? Hmm. I don't like when people crack the eggs in the egg carton out of order, floss their teeth in the kitchen or put the toilet paper on the roll upside down. I don't know if that's quirky though. When I look at the clock, I try to make the numbers mathematically relate to each other somehow. When I watch movies I like finding inconsistencies. I like wearing mismatched socks. And to ride on Tristan's comment about nicknames. I don't like shortened versions of my name as a nickname. Irks me to no end but maybe that's because there are at least three men in my family that go by Chris. I do however like cute pet nicknames but it looks as though I've been stuck with baby. I can co-sign Chunk's thrill with the word girl too (I thought I was the only one). My hubs accidentally called me that one day and I was just so lit up about it but he has his own quirk about using that word. He thinks it's disrespectful. Crazy.

        1. I think he does it on purpose too just to get under my skin. I’ve told him how I feel about it and yet it continues….well if he even bothers to change the roll that is. Lemme stop talking about it though bc I’m turning into the hulk over here.

        2. LMAO, at least ATTEMPT to change the roll, the sad lil new roll sitting on top of the empty one brings out my Hulk too…. *smh*

        3. lol I asked my husband about it recently and he asked "would you rather I touch everything and then change the roll?" Ew. Maybe that's how other people see it? I said change the roll and then touch everything! *rubs ears* woooo-saaaaaah

      1. "When I look at the clock, I try to make the numbers mathematically relate to each other somehow"

        I thought I was the only person on the face of this planet to do that.. I've been doing this since I was like 7 or 8. Awesome quirk, though I no longer feel unique…

  7. I dont really want a wedding..no engagements either..i want a direct marriage…Vegas style through the drive thru!

    Quirks: pens wit no tops – toothpaste on my bathroom mirror (pisses me off!) – unread messages on my BB – Young Money Artist (I'll change the song quickfast) – bad toes on a pretty chick (soooo annoying! its like why ma!?) – voicemail (i don't leave messages, i called to to talk to you)…i think that's its for today..lol

      1. The pen deal bothers me..specially if its one of my good pens and its dried up..I'll usually trash it..im xtra..lol

        yea damn the voicemails..unless its an emergency i wont leave a vm..the fact that you see my missed call is enough for you to either call me back and find out what the deal is or dont..

        1. I can dig it.

          I'm beginning to notice that a lot of people fall on one side or the other when it comes to voicemails. I can understand why people don't leave them, but it used to irk me. Now I just figure that it wasn't important if they didn't leave a message and I'll just text them back. lol
          My recent post Not Every Woman is Strong Enough to Date a Rapper

      2. I don't like leaving voice messages either. I feel like it's a waste. I don't regularly check mine so I guess I assume it's like that for everybody. Besides, if they can see they missed my call that's enough for me. I recently learned that my hubs likes when I let the baby talk to his work voicemail so I guess I'll be doing that more often but other than that miss me with the voicemail.

        1. See! That's my point. It can go either way. People seem to want others to leave voicemails or they hate it. It's just funny to me how strongly some people feel about not wanting to leave a voicemail. I've always believed and still do believe that the call must not be important if no voicemail message was left.

          For example, I would prefer people leave voicemail messages if the call is important. Don't get upset with me when I call you back hours later or the next day and tell me that it was important. My response is going to be "Why didn't you leave a voicemail message?"

          In those situations, "You should have seen my missed call" isn't going to cut it…for me. If it's a missed call I'm going to treat it just like that. I'll recognize it, get on with my business and call (or most likely text) the person back when I get some time available. Now if they left a message I would call them back depending on the urgency of their message.

          It's all subjective and we're all different. I still think it's an interesting topic. I did a blog on it awhile back, I may have to resurrect that post and start a new discussion on this topic. Thanks for the inspiration MR. SD & krystllyght.
          My recent post In Search of True Love

        2. Yeah, I don't leave voicemails either unless its for business reasons…or if we're beefing and I'm thinking you missed my call on purpose, lol…then I say my piece via voicemail.

        3. LOL! I can't even imagine what that message sounds like. A person who is upset and hates leaving voicemails doing so…WHOA!

          I can't lie…I would love to hear a snippet of how that message would go. You care to share? lol
          My recent post In Search of True Love

        4. Stop bringing up old stuff, yo, LOL. I haven't hit a man since 2001…and I haven't thrown anything since 2009…

          I've changed, LOL…

        5. Once my anger is maxed out, God only knows what Imma do, lol…

          I work hard not to get that mad…or to have people around to take me there. It's not my fault…its these West Baltimore/Southside Chicago genes I got running through me from the parentals, lol. Both sides of my fam are extremely scrappy, smh. I got stories for days. The struggle to maintain my composure while pissed is a very real one…

        6. LMAO! See, now that is progression. I'm so proud of you.

          They say change isn't easy…but you did it!

          I really like your style! I don't know if you would be interested, but I'd luv for you to swing by my blog and share some of your insights on the discussions we have brewing at the moment. Thanks cynical optimist…I luv that name by the way. lol
          My recent post I Wish…(Week3)

        7. See thats the thing tho Up's I think i dont leave vm's because i have ego issues..lol its like look you see i called, call me the eff back or we gawn have problems!

          Im a Leo, its not my fault..lol

        8. LMAO! You know what? I don't think you're alone homie. I think it boils down to ego for a lot of people. It's like "I'm important! You ain't know?! Well now you do…so call me back dammit."
          My recent post Question of the Week

        9. Haaaaa!!

          You know what.

          You both got a point, I never really looked at it like that til now because come to think of it I've gotten tight a few times with my homegirls when my outgoing missed call got returned more than 30 minutes later.


          Me: (Salty) "WTH, Dang you can't call a chick back — it's about time!, I could've been dying or something!!"

          Her: What you talkin about I was getting my hair washed, I couldn't pick up.

          Me: Oh. So what now your nobs (finger) broke or something? *sucksteeth*

          Her: laughing… you need jesus, what's up?

          Me: Nothing too much just calling to see what's up with you. #Whomp Whomp

          LOL Craziness I know.

        10. I'm with UP4Dsn, if you don't leave a message I figure it wasn't important and continue with my day. Imma be honest I don't even call back unless there is smtg imparticular I need to talk to you about. I figure if you needed to speak to me then you would of left a vm or text call me when u get a moment or smtg other than that I figure you was just shooting the breeze and seeing what I was up to and since I was unable to take that call moment passed. LOL It is funny how dfft ppl are about it tho. My brother for instance never listens or responds to any vm's I just have to call throughout the day till I get him.

        11. Yup! That's the same way I interpret it when people call me and don't leave messages.

          Your bro is wild! He just ignores the calls and the messages. Now that is classic! Or is it just ego? lol

          I'm curious…how many calls does it usually take before he finally picks up?
          My recent post In Search of True Love

        12. I don't know I used to get mad at him cause sometimes what I needed to tell him was in the vm so no need to talk but here he go calling me back a million years later. But that's my blood acting extra as usual. Most times I just text him now to keep confusion down plus he answers those much better. I would like to talk to him on the phone more cause I can tell better where his head is at when I hear his voice but he probably knows that and is why he avoids my calls. LOL I was like second mom to him so he know Imma pick up on his tone quick and be like "What's wrong??"

        13. +1

          I will go days with at least 3 or 4 vmm icons on my blackberry before checking them all the while sighing and rolling my eyes while doing it. *smh*

        14. So you detest checking them more than you do leaving them…now that's a new angle. I'll have to work that into the upcoming post. What is it about checking voicemail messages that elicits sighing and eye rolling? Fill me in…if you don't mind.
          My recent post Question of the Week

        15. I don't leave them. AT. ALL.

          Anybody will tell you G6 does not do the vmm thingy. If I call you and you don't pick up, I will depending on who I'm calling; either hit you with a text if applicable (cellphone) or call you back later (housephone). My peeve is that I don't like talking on the phone as it is so for me to now have to go through the task of checking a vmm, although I saw your missed call plus your text or bbm as well is asinine to me.

        16. This is me too. I already don't like talking on the phone so listening to your vm and then having to call you back is just too much. Thing is, only one or two people in my life leave me voicemails so I know exactly who it is before I even have to listen to them and then I call back and there is nothing to talk about. If I get a missed call from a number I'm unfamiliar with and then a vm too, I'll check it though. That normally means it's the doc's office.

        17. Voice mails are sooooo 2001. Unless it's an emergency, if someone left me a voice mail in 2011 we might have to break-up because clearly we come from different places in life…

        18. You got me cracking up over here. Its like the great VM debate. I don't know VM is still a viable form of communication for me. I have my own business so I am always checking my vm and listening to various messges. I will take it a step further and say I was uber excited when my friend turned me onto google's vm system. Shoot I think I'm doing it with my custom messages and the fact that I can always go back and locate a message. we just from two dfft world's WIM. 2 dfft worlds. LOL

        19. Im the same way. I like voicemails maybe because at work if someone calls and doesn't leave a voicemail then I'm calling back blind and I don't know what I'm getting myself into.
          I really like Google voice. The way it turns it into a text message? That way I will know whether or not it's important.
          I think my family leaves the silliest voicemails, I always save them. They are usually about the most ghetto, inappropriate, devious schemes or baby-mama/daddy drama. It's a stress reliever to hear that type of "normal".
          My recent post Dance me to the end of love

  8. LOL @ the post! Ain't no way my fiance is making it rain on anything the night before our wedding…I ain't havin it! Hmph…

    Now…my quirks:

    1. It takes me a few minutes to prep my plate and environment before I eat, lol. My show needs to be on. The fixins on my burger need to be in a particular order. Anything that needs to be cut must be cut. Salt & pepper must be sprinkled. Cause once I start eatting, I hate stopping for any reason.

    2. When I dry myself off, the tag for the towel must be in the bottom right corner…facing me. I wash my face with the cloth on the tagless side. *shrugs*

    3. I'm brand conscious. From clothes to food to paper towels, lol. Its worth the extra money to me.

    4. I like my music loud.

    5. I am a klutz, lol. I walk into, trip over, spill, miss EVERYTHING, LOL. I don't even get embarrassed anymore. It happens that often, lol…smh…

      1. LOL…my bf finds it entertaining and has several common responses while laughing:

        "LOL…How and why?"

        "LOL…you're so cute…"

        "LOL…give it here before you kill yourself…"

        For as long as I don't destroy his precious electronics, I'm good, lol…

    1. I'm a weirdo with my food too. Sandwich Artists rarely ever get it right and I have to reorganize my sandwiches before eating. It's all about even distribution. I don't want a bite of pickles, then a bite of chipotle, I want it all in one bite marrying together. Sheesh.

      And don't let anything with juice on my plate. It should really have it's own bowl or else I'll just have to eat it on it's own. Which again, is another quirk. I prefer to eat my food in a round as well. A lil meat, then a lil potato, then a lil veggie, repeat. Unless it's a veggie I'm only eating to be healthy, then that goes down first so that I can remove the taste from my mouth ASAP. Annnnyway…

      FTR: I can consume food normally, I'm not full retard OCD, these are just preferences.

      1. I so get the sandwich thing! I used to eat my sandwiches plain but I eat them with stuff on them now because I want to enjoy it thoroughly. It's like I've fallen back in love with sandwiches or something since I wasn't eating them right for so long and I want it right dang it! I'm like how hard is it? Don't give me a bam of lettuce and one pickle! I will get mad! I have to act preemptively though and order extra extra pickles and mayo.

      2. Nothing worse than a sandwich without even distribution. Nothing. -_-

        And I don't wanna eat that thick hard white part of the lettuce, MANNNNN! -_-

        I'm glad you feel me on that, LOL…

  9. Very interesting quirks.

    It's funny that I just did a podcast discussing women who have the quirk of refusing to date rappers. It intrigues me, but like you stated, we all have our quirks.

    Here are a few of my quirks:

    #1 – I refuse to date a woman who smokes

    #2 – I will not approach a woman with sunglasses on (I like to see a woman's eyes…plus those glasses make some women look better than they do without the glasses)

    #3 – I would never seriously date a woman I met in a club

    #4 – I get annoyed by women who don't know anything about sports but constantly want to debate about something they are completely wrong about (yeah I said it!)

    #5 – Women with super long nails (like seriously?! I don't even wanna know what those nails smell like)

    I could go on, but I wanna read some of peoples quirks.
    My recent post Not Every Woman is Strong Enough to Date a Rapper

    1. lol, it's called a nail brush and proper hygiene, lol. But I can respect that, I do have long nails, but SWV nails aren't my bag either.

        1. "if she can't wipe or pat herself down there without scratching herself…then that's a problem."
          We are in FULL agreement! 🙂

  10. Wait…I didn't list relationship quirks…

    1. Once you're good and grown…and working, I think the car you choose to drive says a lot about a person's personality. Therefore, men driving certain cars are a turn off. For example…a voltswagon beetle or a camry. o_O #icant

    Oh, and I think men who drive Chargers are overcompensating for something, lol…

    2. I like neat hands and feet on men. Nails must stay clean and filed…must have enough nail to file.

    3. I can't date men that have no problems wearing reeboks, filas, or sketchers. I just can't…

    4. If you don't like the show, Martin, we ain't gonna work, lol. What's a life without random Martin references???? "Rent'em spoons!!!!" LMBO!!!!

      1. I need my man to get it if we're in Best Buy, walk by a slick TV, and I stop, turn to the TV, bow and say, "Hichitachiiiii"…

        I need my man to get the joke if we're kinda beefin and I just start singing, Fire and Desire…

        What if I see some nasty looking food and call it Chitlin Loaf?????

        What if something sad happens and I start singing, Ol' Man River?????

        Will he know what I expect him to do if I say, "Give me some love"???????

        LMBO! My man needs to get it, LOL…

        1. Exactly! And you already know the list goes on. This type of stuff is VITAL to a lasting relationship. LOL! You know?

          *breaks out in song* "Don't cha know no good…"
          My recent post I Wish…(Week3)

      1. Hey…there are blogs/articles about what your car says about you…so its not just me or that I'm shallow, lol.

        This is serious business…

    1. I can't be down with #3, I saw this dude wearing throwback reeboks and I was like, well doesn't that look nice.
      As far as #1, I think the fact that the man owns and maintains a car says more about him than what car he drives. Sometimes it's all about getting from point A to point B. But I can understand your perspective.
      My recent post Dance me to the end of love

  11. I don’t get why people have their bachelor party the night before they get married. That’s dumb as hell. And as an avid strip club goer, bet you all my chicks be like the seventies, all natural, liberated and no HIV.

    1. +5 this!!! lol.

      I don't get the whole bachelor/bachelorette party the day before the wedding. My gir's hubby had his party the day before. All was cool, but still. What's the fun in that.

      I want to have a bachelorette party weekend. And I want to have at least one co-ed party, no cameras, no phones. Hell, I'm more likely to have a huge party, and then have an intimate wedding a month or so later.
      My recent post My Love Is Like…

  12. My quirks….

    I HATE. absolutely HATE walking into a dark house, some kind of light MUST be on whether from the TV or lamps and such.

    I must fall asleep with the TV on, I need to hear background noise otherwise I will be tossing and tumbling for hours.

    I MUST leave a crack in my passenger side car window overnight…No Matter whether it's pouring outside or we in a blizzard, the passenger side window is ALWAYS left cracked open a little. I catch some lip because of it but hey, It's something I've been doing since I've had wheels and I ain't gonna stop now.

      1. *Shrug*

        I swear fo gawd.. I don't know I can't really explain it but it's something that I've done since my dad bought me my 1st whip when I was in H.S. Maybe it's the crisp early dewy smell I like having in my car when I get in it. *shrug* LOL — I don't know.

  13. My mom told me when I was gonna have a tiny wedding that most of the ritual was for the community. A lot of people will value your union based in the effort you put into the wedding. Why does it matter what they think? Matters more than you can imagine. Whether they will make destructive comments to you or your spouse depends on how much they respect your union. Destructive comments can destroy a marriage. Think yours is too strong? My daddy used to say a steady drip of water can wear down a rock. So you want to give the haters as little ammunition as possible by having a nice wedding. Seems petty, but my mom turned out to be right.


    1. I’m afraid of peeling paint. It looks like diseased skin to me.

    2. I cant stand small hands on a man. It actually makes me angry at the man

    3. Some people hoard. I compulsively throw things out. Even if I’m pretty sure ill need it, I will throw it out just for the catharsis.

    1. I get you with #3 Dub C. Hoarding is real and I do not want to be one of those ladies. I keep a lot of stuff but I eventually end up throwing a lot of it out.

  14. If your friends love you they better make it rain for you, don't want to end up running short on cash on your honeymoon. "Heeeyy honey, I know you really wanted to go water skiing but I'm kinda short cuz I made it tsunami on Karamel two nights ago." No bueno, lol.

    My quirks: I don't have any. I am logical, well-grounded and usually right. I was voted "Most Sane" by my friends about 8 years ago, and was recognized as such when the subject came up again about 3 years ago. As I often tell my husband – when he makes invalid claims that I am certifiable – that the people have spoken, I'm normal, he's not. Thank you!

    1. LMAO that you got references for your sanity!!!

      Teflon Don: Grrrr, Baby you are crazy sometimes!!
      Teflon Mom: *presents certificate* Check the receipts BooBoo. I GOT more people!

      *argument deaded*

      1. Rita the whooole reason IHateRita.com exists is because you STAY trying to get me fired! Why you always have someone asking me what's so dang funny? Between you and Krys doing drive by gang signs….Lawdamercy.

  15. We're all weird holmes. I used to be self-conscious about my own brand of weird but then when I heard women tell me the stories of the men they're dating I'm like "wow, I'm doing ok for myself."

    My biggest quirk as it pertains to a relationship is the fact that from time to time I like to be left the hell alone. This was actually worse when I was younger, which makes me think it's a hormone thing. And I'm not talking about for a few hours. I mean it can be weeks at a time in some cases. If I'm in a serious relationship, a woman would have to understand that as some cannot handle it. I just dont want to be messed with or talked to but it has nothing to do with the person I'm with. It's just the way I am.

    Side note, but who has a bachelor party without strippers? I'm so confused.

    My recent post: A One Woman Man

    1. Yo WIM this can be a relationship killa if ya lady don't understand you well..I also suffer from #leavemetheeffalone-itis..a bad combo when you mix it with an insecure chick

      1. I agree. I think I get it from my pops. He's the same way. We've discussed it before. I used to think it was going to be a deal breaker for life until I met a woman that was the same way. We got along beautifully. I think it's about communication and setting expectations. It really has nothing to do with them but you're right the insecure-types are not built for that life.

    2. I am the same way! I like my space so I completely understand. Dudes be the same way thinking I'm creeping or losing interest when I just really want a few days to breathe my own air. My times like this usually don't go beyond a week tho.

  16. Quirks:

    I'm the guy at the party that will ONLY grab chips/cookies with a napkin and if someone looks like they tough or breath on that plate wrong, I'm done eating. Which also means, I wash my hands ALL the time. But yo… these (2520) guys that leave the bathroom without washing their hands tho… after wiping their behinds… nah… buddy…

    I really don't watch TV. I HAVE a TV, but that's for PS3, sports and movies. And since there's no NBA, there's no cable. welp…

    With that said, I can fux with some anime tho.

    As I like a woman more, I'm more likely to call her by her proper name. For example, if all your friends and family call you KeKe and we're dating, I'll NEVER refer to you as that (even in front of them). Always your gov't name and I make it a point to enunciate it to the fullest.

    I don't watch movies/show episodes I like back-to-back. I have to wait a significant amount of time where I feel like I "forgot" the plot so I can experience it like I did the first time. Basically, yeah… I have to wait so I won't know what will happen. I have a good memory tho. lol

    I get tunnel vision. Sometimes, I get so into my "routine" that people I don't really associate with on a semi-daily basis get kinda forgotten about.

    In real life, so much of what I say is word play. And I randomly interject context appropriate music/movie references. It just sort of happens… "I can't help it" – T.I.
    My recent post How to implement an OODBMS (pt. 1)

    1. I like to call guys I date by their government names too. And was cracking up on the enunciate part cause I'm one of those. Everyone calling you Pat and I'm saying Patrick. Everyone saying whats up T. And I'm like Tyrone baby can you grab this for me. I be a little snooty with it too. Not sure why but I notice I do that. LOL

    2. Oh, so 2520 dudes are also not into hand washing? I'm not in the men's room much, but the Black women at every job I've worked are on "Soap Watch". All White women aren't culprits…but all the culprits have been White, lol.

    3. That's my bf with the gov't name thing and I'm the total opposite, lol. The more into it I am, the less you hear your real name. As a matter of fact, he told me Tuesday after being there a while, "Do you realize I haven't heard you say my real name since I got here?" I was like, "My bad…add that to the list of annoying things you'll need to accept about me", LOL.

  17. I don't let my food touch. I eat clockwise. When I move on to the next item on the plate, I don't go back to item again.

    I don't call back missed calls. I don't listen to voicemails. Send a text if you need me to call you back.

    I hate folks who rehash the same thing over and over again. It makes my teeth itch.

    I don't like folks in my personal space if I don't know you like that….

    My recent post Second time around….

    1. LMBO @ "makes my teeth itch"!

      And I completely co-sign the personal space issue. I hate feeling like I'm breathing a persons air. I start feeling paranoid. And hate when I back up and they move forward…o_O!!!!! And I don't like people whispering in my ear…we ain't kids! WHY?! Lean close, talk past my ear…or better yet, text me, lol…

  18. I only have one quirk really. Its plain and simple. Ashyness and crustyness especially with black folks. It is a crime people just need to use the lotion and chapstick. That’s it. Ashyness on brothas and sistas is a horrible site lol.

  19. The comments on this post were hilarious. I think I spent more time reading them than I did the entire post (oops).

    I agree with you about the parents at the wedding… All my siblings weddings were DRAMA, mostly sparked by my parents madness. But then again, I guess it's just to be expected? *shrugs*

    Worse than the congratulations are the "oh man, he's finally gonna marry you?" or "why would you want to ruin your life?" comments. Some people are just prone to that nonsense… I'd take the false congratulatory notes over that any day.

    My quirks:
    1. People who say "anyways"… there's no "s" in that word. At all. Why are you pluralizing an adverb?

    2. People who say "with who"… after a preposition, it's whom: with whom, from whom, by whom…

    3. White wedding dresses… why does your dress HAVE to be white? Why can't it be coral? or plum? or marigold? it's too expensive a gown to only wear once and to wear it white where it gets extremely dirty?

    4. Knick-knacks. Why do people have that in their house? You just have these little tiny figurines that people can't touch or play with; usually they're delicate and expensive. Maybe it's because I grew up on a boat and didn't live in a house until I was a teenager, but I don't like unnecessary items cluttering my space.

    5. People who don't like movies or music or books. I just don't understand them, even though I try. It's too cave-man-esq for me.
    My recent post Dance me to the end of love

  20. 1) I go into fits of cleansliness. I cal ir Felix Unger syndrome. I'll look at my room, and see disorder, and do whatever it takes to get it in proper order. I'll spring clean at any point in time with no regard for sentiment or momentos. lol. 'm far from a neat freak but I do this!

    2) I cant hear albums for the first time unless i'm in the proper mood. I need to be set in a perfect atmosphere. Sometimes it's work, sometimes its at the house, but I have to be in the right mind.

    I have a few more but cant thing about it lol

  21. My quirks-pen tops, the lonely sock annoys the crap out of me. I always have to sleep on the left side of the bed even out of town. I fold post it notes because I don’t like the sticky part on the back to get lent on it. I eat jalapenos or A-1 or Catalina dressing on all of the things they should not be accompanied with in my meals.

  22. Supreme Quirkiness in 5…4…3..2…

    1. I always say a small prayer before I drive off. If I forget, I will close my eyes (whilst driving) and hope I don’t hit anyone lol. The way I figure it, God would be pretty sick to let me die in a firey car-crash while I’m praying to Him– or at the very least I should get some type of “get into heaven free” card for my troubles.

    2. Men’s feet make me cringe. Even the good ones.

    3. I’ve made myself the honorary P*nis Patrol during any unofficial game that men decide to play. Yup, that’s what you get for wearing basketball shorts. #ImLurkin

    4.I don’t like men asking confusing questions during sex. I’m just suppose to enjoy, I don’t want to think. One guy asked me “who’s d*ck is it”. I said, “it’s yours”. He stopped midstroke and said, “na babe, it’s yours”. I was like, “oh, ok so that’s how that works”.

    Yup. I’m weird.


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