Home Featured Friends vs. Associates: How Do You Know Who’s Who?

Friends vs. Associates: How Do You Know Who’s Who?

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Friend is a term that I see thrown around carelessly on a daily basis. I think that as children, we are ingrained with the notion that friend should be used in a broad sense. Anyone that you didn’t hate, but knew randomly, was a friend. As we grow older and experience these so-called friends disappoint, deceive, and diminish their value to us, we realize that friend needs to have a deeper connotation. Many of these “friends” are actually associates or acquaintances. Some people still will use friend in a broad sense, and may even ask what the difference between the two terms? Well no worries, I’m here to help!

Here are a few ways to know the difference between a friend and an associate.



Coworkers vs. Friends

This one has some gray area. Most of the time, you see your coworkers more than your own family. You all spend enough time with one another. You get to know them better, understand their likes and dislikes, and have a grasp on their personality. This might cause you to consider these people friends, but answer this: Can you bring your coworkers around your current non-work friends and not feel uncomfortable? If you can’t then they are strictly coworkers, nothing more. If you feel the need to separate your coworkers from your life outside the workplace, then they are far from friends!

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The Test of Time

I’m blessed to have great friends in my life. The older we get, I realize that we can’t just hang on the block, passing the time talking about nothing for an entire summer. We all grow up, get busy, and eventually have to tackle real life problems. I may go months without speaking to some people, but when we do speak, we never miss a beat. The cordiality of the conversation is never false, and the love never wanes. Meanwhile, I have trouble remembering people’s names I met yesterday! In my experiences, if they cannot stand the test of time, you merely associate with them.

 The Money Test

If the person you called a friend needed money, a place to stay, the clothes off of your back, or a decent meal, would you provide it for them? If you were in dire need of a loan or needed a huge favor, would you feel comfortable asking them? We all know that we have friends who can and cannot be counted on in certain clutch circumstances. If the intentions are pure and you aren’t hesitant, then you can consider them friends. If this seems foreign to you, then most likely your friend is really an associate. I don’t lend money or anything like that for people who didn’t need or deserve the problems.

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Trust

Trust is huge. This is a strong, if not THE strongest determining factor to differentiate friends from associates. Do you feel comfortable leaving this person in your house alone? Would you give this person the password to your email to send a time sensitive message while you’re unavailable to reach a computer? Would you put your life in their hands in any way, shape or form? If the answer to any of these questions is “no”, then chances are that person is an associate. The friends I have in my life, I know that I can trust them with any and everything. No hesitation or doubt crosses my mind because they have proven themselves throughout the time we’ve been acquainted and built enough credit for me to trust them unconditionally. That’s a real friend.

How do you differentiate between friends and associates? Is there a grey area? Discuss with us today!

This is another exerpt from my e-book Fly On The Wall. Go HERE to download if you haven’t read it yet! Let me know what you think!

StreetZ

Comment(51)

  1. Yes to all of these when you need 100 dollars to keep your lights on see how many of those friends come and loan you a few dollars lol jp

    Again I think people use the word friend so much because associate sounds so negative. I was taught that while lots of people will be cool to hang with and just be cool with everyone cant step up to the plate and be a friend.

    Women have the most on and off friendships b/c they tell their business to easily to eachother. While my coworkers know something’s about me I never go to deep. I see girls go from strangers to bff’s to enemies in a matter of three months.

    1. I think the money part depends. I don't lend money….I'll give it….cause the reality is 9 times out of 10 if someone is asking for it they can't pay you back, and if they can it won't be anytime soon.
      I never ask anyone for money, unless I know I can pay it right back. Many of us have family members who wouldn't loan us money and who we never loan money to. Does that mean just because your sister, brother, cousin, or a parent doesn't lend you money they are no longer your fam or they love you any less?….no not necessarily. Everyone has their reasons. If your in a bad way and they know you can't pay the money back or your a person who doesn't pay people their money back when you borrow it, then that's the reason nobody loans you money, not necessarily because they aren't your friend and don't love you and care about you.
      I have a cousin who is like my younger sister as much as she is my cousin. We were raised together like sisters. I've been there for her through a lot and helped her run her daycare center (even though it wasn't something I was that interested in). I did it out of love for her and because it helped her. Wouldn't help anybody else run a day care whether they paid me or not. (and she didn't pay me and I never asked her to).
      I've helped several girlfriends who were single moms with their kids when they needed a babysitter or just some help in any form or fashion. I did it without expecting anything just because they needed it and they were my friends.
      I think too many times we have a "what have you done for me lately" mentality. When you sincerely give, it should be from the heart, and not expecting immediate gratification. Just because you give that's not a guarantee your going to get and that shouldn't be the only and/or main reason that you give. If it is you will be sadly disappointed many many times.
      The people I have as friends are good, kind, loving, mature people, and my 2 cousins who are like my sisters. They are people who have been there to support me though my roughest times. They were there when I had nothing, just like they were when I had everything. They encourage me, uplift me, inspire me to be the best person I can be everyday. I feel better after talking to them. And as much as they uplift and encourage me, I try to do the same for them.
      I have very very few female friends and several male friends. What makes them friends is not measured by their success or money or lack of. It's measured by how well we get along and the level of love and respect we have for each other.
      I have friends who would I would still consider friends even if they never gave or loaned me anything.
      As long as they continue to be honest, real, supportive, and loving, and continue to teach me and encourage and empower me, then that's all I need.

      1. Well of course the money part is sticky in certain situations. If my friends don’t loan it or don’t have it I’m not saying their not a friend but nine times out of ten the person who does loan it to you who is not family is usually very close to you.

        I think as humans we all have the what have you done for me lately attitude, but. I think we’ve all had that friend where we are his or her shoulder to lean on but when the tables turn its like their no where to be found

        1. true….but life is too short to keep score on who has done what, and when and how much have they done.
          I feel like if you want to give you give from the heart, if not then don't. But keeping score and always expecting material things in return isn't good.

        2. It’s not about material things or even keeping score. But I just want to know that I have a team around me who is just as giving as I am it doesn’t have to be in the same exact way but I jut want to know that if I have your back and am willing to go through the fire for you that you are willing to do the same me.

          I usually don’t have to worry about money and friends if I give it it’s something I have to give and not going to kill me if I don’t see it ever again.

        3. I don't lend money to friends, I just give it. I don't want to set up a business relationship with my friends. I let them know that up front. Most times, they give you the money back or they do something to compensate for it. Other times, they just know that you helped them out in a time of need. I came to this conclusion around the same time I realized that some nights out on the town I have dropped enormous amounts of money only to walk away with a mean urge for a #1 and a headache. That G could have went to do some good.

        4. whats a #1 Dr. J? R we talking a the meal number at BK or McDonalds or Wendy's or something else?
          Yall gotta school a sista on some of this lingo…….

  2. Loved this post! I’ve always been so amused that people are so cavalier with the word ‘friend.’ Especially with the emergence of social media and new technologies, the term 'friend' has become a lot more casual and expansive. Namely, I know people who spend time and share intimate details with people they interact with exclusively through social media. I’m one of them. I share things with the blog community about my family, spouse, likes, dislikes, career goals, dreams, past experiences etc. that may easily allow a perfect stranger to consider me a friend. With some amount of certainty, I estimate there are a couple random people in the blogosphere that know more personal details than some of my ‘friends’ in real life. I’m definitely not knocking bonds made through social media because I’ve been very fortunate to “meet” a myriad of insightful and intelligent people that I may not have met otherwise.

    However, I feel if someone calls me a friend in this day and age it’s more like saying ‘we’re not completely strangers’ rather than a vow of camaraderie. I guess I blame Facebook. With the Facebook boom, everybody and their brother, sister, momma, cousin, and half-niece-twice-removed flooded other users across the globe with requests for a public acknowledgement of friendship. We pined over and over again to share and receive more information and intimate details with people we didn’t really know- or some we didn’t even really like. But we’re “friends” anyway. *shrug* With so many ways to get into (and keep) contact with people, I feel like so many people find it hard to distinguish true friendship, but I think you gave an exceptional framework.

    I’m really cautious about calling people my friend and have always kept a small intimate circle. I’m friendly towards everyone, meaning I believe you should still make everyone feel comfortable around you, but I keep it pretty casual. To me, friendship is less about how much you know about the other person and more about the memories, relationship, and dynamic you two share. It’s like celebrities. I know some people that can quote certain celebrities moves all day- what their dog's name is, their favorite movie, what they wore to their senior prom, what their breath smells like anytime of the day, etc. but that doesn’t make them friends with these people. My friends are the people I experience my life with. There has to be a relational/experiential factor. I need my friends there with me in the trenches- the ups and the downs, the victories and the defeats. They’re the people that have seen my cry, and wiped my tears. They’re the ones who learn the entire Single Ladies dance with me just ‘cause it’s Tuesday. They’re the people I count on to harmonize with me in the car while I croon to my favorite tunes and not judge me.

    My friends are the people who know all the crazy, weird, and private things about me that others may or may not know, and are still there for me through everything regardless. Friends should encourage and inspire each other to be better. Through personal growth, timely advice, and spontaneous adventures, friendships are really what make life worth living. I don’t feel like anyone should use that term so loosely, because it has pretty heavy implications!

    1. FreshWithDepth I will go through facebook sometimes and unfriend all the people I don't know.
      I have a pet peeve about folks just randomly adding me as friends on facebook.
      I do have probably close to 200 friends on there….lol However, those are folks I actually know. Between family, friends of family, middle school, high-school, and college it adds up.
      I always check my facebook to see who I actually know and talk to and who I don't. I'm rarely even on facebook so people that I don't talk to in "real life" anyway, we definitely won't be speaking much on fb for that very reason.
      I make sure that all 190 something people that are on my friends-list are actually "friends" or family or people I actually know.
      If I don't know you from a can of paint, and you don't know me, but know somebody that knows me why you wanna be my friend? The fact remains we don't know each other. Thanks, but no thanks.

      1. "If I don't know you from a can of paint, and you don't know me, but know somebody that knows me why you wanna be my friend?"

        You better preach that good word! I purge my Facebook friend's list as well! For me FB is a great way to keep in touch with pseudo-associates but not friends. The whole concept of status updates and wall posts just irks me sometimes. If you're really my friend, I'm going to call you, text you, skype you, send carrier pigeon to your house, etc. I don't need FB.

        1. exactly Fresh…I stay connected to my college friends more than anything because they are all in North or South Carolina. Some I talk to on the phone once in a while and of course I see them at homecoming. Only one of my old college roommates I see more than anyone else I went to college with because she lives in MD too. So when I moved here we kept in touch more.
          I mainly used fb as a tool to find and reconnect with folks I hadn't seen or talked to in years and missed that had moved. At this point I've found everybody I wanted to find…..lol
          But yeah FB is definitely the place where any and everybody can be your "friend"…

    2. "I’m really cautious about calling people my friend and have always kept a small intimate circle. I’m friendly towards everyone, meaning I believe you should still make everyone feel comfortable around you, but I keep it pretty casual. To me, friendship is less about how much you know about the other person and more about the memories, relationship, and dynamic you two share."

      100 agree I think as we get older and out of grade school and college we learn these concepts. Your circle will get smaller and that’s not a bad thing. I like how you mention being friendly towards everyone. Just because someone is not in your direct circle doesn’t mean you don’t act friendly or nice b/c you never know who will end up being your friend in the long run.

      1. We're definitely on the same page! Just because you're not my close and personal friend doesn't automatically make you an enemy. Some people are so adamant about only talking to people they 'bang with like that' that they forfeit chances to get to know new people. Not to say you should invite everybody into your house for tea and crumpets but there's no harm in being genuinely nice/cordial to everyone. They're still a person/ friend to someone. Lol

    3. I think the reason I use it so loosely and maybe this is good or bad, is because I manage expectations with all my friends. All my friends ain't the type that I can go to with everything. My life is like an onion and not every friend gets all the way in. (pause). I got some drinking buddies, I got some work buddies, I got let's sit around and act stupid for a while buddies, they all my friends, but it ain't like i'm going to call them each up to complain about something that really is personal to me. Only like two friends I got like that anyway. I think that's why you have the term, "best friend(s)".

  3. I fix computers on the side for a living, been doing it for years. Its a great filter. The majority of calls I receive are from "friends" that just happen to have a tech issue or question. My REAL friends call and say " I just called to see whats up wit you "…its a rarity but it happens on occasion.

  4. I learned a long time ago, you really don't have any true friends in your life except maybe one or two true friends… Outside of that, they're all associates looking for an in… It's all about what they can get from you… Just my opinion…

    1. good point cbrantley…….no matter how long you've known some folks (even family who you consider friends) it doesn't mean they will go "through the fire" with you or for you.
      Like the saying goes, "when you hit rock bottom and your down to nothing you know and see who your "true & real" friends are. Even folks you've known for over 20 years can become just someone you've known for 20 something years.

  5. I dont like the term associate. I think it's because growing up people would say, "I don't have any friends, just associates" as if its a way to purposely distance yourself from that kind of connection. I find that I don't have to really verbalize the difference between my best friend, my intimate friendships and the friends I go kick it with. I think its all a basis of a shared human experience and a relationship based on some foundation.

    I only feel the need to make it clear that someone is not my friend, when I'm sharing a bogus story that I don't want to be associated (ha) with. Then I will make it clear… I mean this isn't my friend.. she is just someone I know.

    I have been lucky to form some really strong bonds throughout my life with people who have proven their loyalty, commitment and trust… and I am so blessed and grateful to have them in my life. I make it a deliberate point to call my friends sometimes just so say.. you know I was thinking about you and I never want you to forget how much I appreciate what you bring to my life and how much I love you.

    Otherwise, I think we all know what it is.. and if I was chillin with someone new and they introduced me as their "associate," first i'd wonder if we had ventured in a business venture and then I'd be concerned about why they need to make it clear that we aren't "friends."

    1. spider I think associates is a term that may have been coined by the business world.
      I think associates are great because we all need to network and need associates to build our businesses and keep ourselves marketable. Having good associates can put you on the map, help you promote yourself and your business and help you make money. Also associates can definitely become friends. One of my cousins best friends is the girl who did her hair for many many years. Certain people who I bonded with at work many years ago who started off as associates became very good friends.
      Things like this can work to your advantage in business because it says a lot about you as a person if you know people who worked with you and later became friends with you. They can speak on your behalf as a professional because they worked with you, and as a person because they liked you enough to get to know you outside of the workplace.
      I'm thankful for all my associates because they have definitely helped me out in business.

      1. As a teacher, I think there are certain business networking type things that I just can't relate to to a certain extent.. Like no one is going to help me grow my classroom LOL ha.. but I feel you on that one.. and if I were in a business venture I'd be glad to use associates as a term for that function and specific association…

        I know that "associate" and "friend" have nuances that truly make it semantics.. but I guess for me when I meet new people I see it as an opportunity to make a new friend… and some people don't have that kind of inclusive sensibility.. which is cool and I totally get.. so I'm going to extend "friend" in a broad way… for example.. if you are a friend of a friend.. I'm taking care of you in the same way I do for my friends. (This does not include lending money… I don't do that… with anyone…)

        And at the end of the day we could have the same expectations of our relationship and I say friend or homie (which is one of my favorite words, which means tons of different things depending on who I'm referring to) but you might say associate.. and at the end of the day.. I guess it doesn't matter a bit because if we're cool.. we're cool, right?

    2. I agree with this 1000%. People always reference the business reference, but that ain't where that word came into most of our vocabularies and we know it.

        1. I think he's saying that people reference the business context when defining it, but for most people who use "associates" it doesn't have anything to do with business like "Spidey & Associates" or another amazing firm I might open..

          It has to do with a delineation of people in our lives.. not a connection between people in business.

  6. Schnap, I missed the grey area.. I realize usually when friendships aren't reciprocal when someone only calls me to discuss themselves and isn't interested in the events that pepper my life. Or when people can't remember anything you tell them.. And I can generally tell when I need a favor because I'll only ask people who i'd do the same for… sooo if I realize I'm not even gonna bother you with asking for a ride to the airport.. we're not really friends..
    Even though I've also found that that may not always be true.. because I've had some great friendships formed when an unexpected crisis came my way and because I dont have family here, some "associates" stepped up and had my back in a way I never could have imagined or expected.

  7. My friends are my childhood friends, coworkers and classmates i’m still in contact with despite changing jobs and graduating. When I’m looking for a best man, godfather to my children, who to bring if I ever win 10 tickets to the Superbowl…this is my pool.

    My associates include coworkers, neighbors, girls i’ve dated but dont see as anything more, eboos, employees at places i frequent. When i’m bored and need someone to talk to, this is my squad.

    The grey area includes play cousins, 5+ year associates, exes i’m civil with essentially people i know see me as a friend at least. I’m not loaning them money without a promissary note but i’m certain i can crash on their couch if i need to.

    I think you need a little of each, it creates balance.

  8. I don't have many relationships with "associates". I'm a transparent, "this is me" type person by nature and you can't give yourself to everyone that way. I have lots of great friends because I don't waste time and energy cultivating relationships with associates. I only spend time with people that really matter to me on a deep level. I don't do work parties or any of that "just be in the mix" type stuff. If we aren't friends, we aren't hanging out.

    It seems like I've had the same friends since forever…Family that I'm tight with, I met my besties in 2nd & 6th grade, grew up at church with the other set, sang with another set, worked with a few (I've been at my job 10+ yrs), and collected a few friends of friends.

    What I recently learned is that I don't really need associates cause I have so many previously established relationships already. So, like Chunk touched on, its actually kinda hard for me to make new friends. I realize associates are needed by folks who moved a lot growing up, travel a lot, etc…cause they don't have many deep roots with people and still need connections with folks. And some people just enjoy expanding their circle…and I guess you have to be an associate first before you earn the role of friend.

  9. The money test, Idk. I've given money to people I don't know and I've given it to friends. There is a saying though, the quickest way to get rid of somebody is to lend them some money. TRUTH! I had a coworker who also happened to be a friend. She was always asking me for advice (IDK why) and we'd spent time together out of work and when I was leaving the job she was crying. Two weeks later, she asked to borrow some money. I didn't have the whole amount but I gave her what I had. If she'd have stuck around, she'd found out that I wouldn't even had made her pay it back. I never heard from her again and I tried to call her on her birthday, the number was cut off. SMH. The other one, trust. I tend to trust too much in the beginning then once a person lets me down, I'm like never mind. My problem is I want to be everybody's friend and I feel a pseudo-closeness to people too soon. That's attention sloredom at it's best I guess.

    1. I feel you krystl…..I don't trust people very quickly, but I'm always giving people the benefit of the doubt and like to see the good in people because I'm such a positive "glass half full" type of person.
      I've always tended to make friends very very quickly and easily since I was a child. Part of it I think I get honest from my family. Everyone in my family is very friendly, sociable, and great conversationalists and charmers, (especially the men in my family). lol They will talk to any and everybody……from the people at the cash registers at the mall and the market to homeless people to total strangers they are standing in line with.
      Back to your point in your comment krystl this is the very reason I don't "loan" money. I give it when I have it and if I can afford to. If I can't give money I offer my assistance in some other way.
      Honestly I would rather give support and help in other ways rather than giving money. Like I'll babysit, help clean your house, take you where-ever you have to go, cook for folks and take care of them when they are sick, do their laundry and stuff like that.

      1. Girl we must be in the same family. I don't talk to folks randomly anymore because, one, they think you're flirting with them, two, it seems like people aren't as friendly here as they were back home and, three, it makes my son think he has an open invitation to talk to everybody and I don't want him to think it's okay to talk to strangers. But my grandmother? OMG, she will talk the ear off of anybody who will listen. One time, I was stuck in Walmart with her for over an hour. Who was she talking to for that long? Somebody she didn't know and would never see or talk to again. They were shooting the breeze like they were old friends and this wasn't in the checkout line either, just a random aisle. Smh. Gotta love that lady. Anyway, you sound like a good friend to have. You can be my friend. Why don't you come fold this laundry? lol I'm just playing….unless you're gonna do it.

        1. lmao…Krystl u a mess girl….I try to be a good friend, lover, daughter, sister, and everything else.
          I take friendship and love very seriously. As the saying goes "Love is an Action Word." I was taught and raised to show your love, not just say it and leave it at that. So if I love and care about someone I naturally do whatever I can to help them in any way I can. So yes, if you were tired and overwhelmed and needed a break, you could call me up and say "girl I need some help with this housework" and I would be right over and clean and do laundry and whatever else needed to be done and tell you to go relax or take a long nap. Thats whats "real friends" are supposed to do. Typically because I'm a naturally giving and loving person I always get the love that I put out right back. Good Karma…….*smile*
          You seem like a wonderful person who is beautiful inside as well as outside. I think we would get along very well and be great friends.
          Maybe we will meet at an SBM event one day in the near future..Yall need to come to the DMV…….(you bet not act like you don't know me either Krystl)….lol

        2. lol….what the hell is in Indianapolis.????..I gotta wikipedia that…..lol
          I would come just because I've never been there before…..

        3. I had a pic of my hubs and me up earlier this week but he asked me to leave him out of it so I changed it to this one. This one is the result of being bored in the doctor's office. So it's still me just all distorted. I thought it was funny because I look like a bratz doll. lol

        4. What's in Indy? MEEEEEEEEEEE! lol Other than that, you've got the Colts but they're not doing well this season.

  10. Complete co-signage to this entire post. I think that trust and time are the two biggest tests/factors of a true friendship. My core group of friends is currently all over the country, but whenever one of us is in town, we MAKE time for each other, since we don't know when we'll see each other again. And the leaving someone in your house alone thing is so real. I find myself doing a lot of "yea, that's my friend…actually, we're cool." It's not a bad thing at all, I probably genuinely like the person I'm talking about, but that doesn't mean that we have the real friendship bond. My friends are like family to me, everybody else gets put in the cool category.
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  11. I'm not too social, so when I call someone my friend, I really mean it. My 3 closest friends I have known since I was in the 8th grade and my "newest" friend (my coworker/work wife) I have known for 8 years.

    Everyone else is surface level associates.

    I will say that it sucks though, because I don't know how to make friends and I'd like to add a couple of more women friends into my circle, but I think I've pretty much grown out of that phase and at this point it would be weird.

    1. Mika I don't think wanting friends and making friends at any age is "weird". I don't think your ever too old to surround yourself with good people who help you be better and are a great support system.
      We were not designed and create to be alone in this world. We all Need each other to survive. Good friendships are important to have, especially to women since we're such emotional creatures.
      The key is as you get older and your life changes finding friends who mean you well and who will be true friends in every sense of the word.
      Unlike when we're kids, when we pick friends based on who we like playing with and who we have the most fun with, we have to be more careful once we're grown. You just have to be a good judge of character and make sure the folks you bring into your life and your circle are good to you and good for you.

  12. It took me some years and a few tears along the way to understand the difference between those two terms. The people I regarded as 'friends' were really associates, and vice versa. I believe that my naivete had a huge role to play in my shot selection early on, but today I use a bit of a guage to determine who is who and what role they play in my life. I honestly believe that I have a plethora of great associates, but only a few great friends, and really I am okay with that. I'd rather be able to manage a few rather than claim to have a bunch. The challenge now is being the same friend to them that they are to me….and working to show myself friendly in order to remain true to who I want in my life.

  13. Man it would be weird if you thought about how many people you've dated in the past who were really your friends. I think the term gets used too often. "Oh we're still friends." A lot of times that friendship was only based out of mutual attraction and not the things you require out of your platonic friends. I always take an approach to being friends with someone before we date, but it's some out there who I only went after for "other things."

  14. HA! Once my friend and I joked about the levels of friendship that people have/had, especially in high school, treating it like it was a caste system and ish.

    Hmmm…well I'm the kind of person who loves to host events at my house and if I meet you and you seem cool and not crazy, then I will keep in touch, make an effort to get to know you, invite you to my house parties. Are you my "friend?" Meh. I guess not in the conventional sense but I believe that people like to feel loved and appreciated, be fed and have a good time. And I think it can be exhausting when you start categorizing, labeling, putting folks in boxes and squares. Instead, it's more like a large circle with people on the peripheral, then smaller circles that indicate varying levels of trust and intimacy.

    But "real", ride or die friends are a rare thing. There's a part in this Diane McKinney Whetstone book where this dude asks, "You got anybody laying down for you?” A bridge? You got a living bridge? I only asked ‘cause it’s important for a person to know where their bridge is.” I have very few living bridges. But I know who they are. That I can always call. And they will always help me get to the other side.

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  15. Before I read this I must say that I giggled upon reading the title, seeing the picture of TLC and turning on the music station on my tv. It's currently playing their single "What About Your Friends"

    okay, now to scroll back up and read the article

  16. I don't really call people associates lol. Sounds….pretentious. Like I'm a drug dealer.

    Definitely not one to use the word "friend" loosely, but sometimes there just isn't a word to describe someone. "This girl I hang out with sometimes" can work… but sometimes I'll just say "friend" in conversation if that bitch is there but at the end of the day, even if I use it to be polite, we all know how deep our relationship is. And I don't force it with anyone on some "BFF" shit. I know who my niggas are and they know I have their back the same.
    My recent post Why no one should marry a nigga like Kris Humphries

  17. Honestly this is one of the most popular debates of our generation. As we immerse ourselves deeper into the craze of technology, information is so easily accessed (literally at our fingertips) that people find themselves accidentally 'creeping'. 'Creeping' is the term used to describe suspect behavior, stalking, twatching (twitter stalking), or simply other variations of exactly what the word sounds like. The most fascinating thing to a small minded individual is gossip. Not to say that facebook is for the small minded at all, because as we all know almost everyone has a facebook (dead or alive). But what i do believe is that the information overload causes people to misconstrue relationships. There is a 'view friendship' tab available that lines up an array of all photos tagged of you and whichever "friend" you choose to display. "Tags" are onomatopoeias in a way as well simply because the way one reads it is exactly how it sounds. Tags for "friends", oh, like name tags? I have been in situations with my male friends where they have literally gone on facebook in front of me and added my 'friends' because they were 'cute' and it was just that easy. A girlfriend of mine just got into a new relationship. Meanwhile, her new boyfriend is panicking about tweets, worried sick that he "wifed a hoe". If twitter has the power to break your relationship how deep can the ties possibly be? I'm a 90s baby, so i suppose im young but i remember a time when it was much harder to get in contact with my homies. Dial up internet took forever, tied up the phone lines, and didn't even always work. To avoid rambling and get to the point, my little siblings don't necessarily have those memories. The younger two have always lived in a world where those awesome computers in our pockets solve daily problems. The ease of technology as well as the inherent and natural human thirst for knowledge by way of information are the roots of the problem at hand, in my opinion.

    Side note: @Freshwithdepth inspired this response. I'm a sophomore English major at Howard and got a little too excited about what you were saying and thus followed you on twitter, which actually contradicts everything i just said. (lol) I'm trying to inject positivity and interesting opinions/mentalities on to my timeline in order to minimize the ignorance so closely associated with these social networks. Swear i'm not a creep at all and will harbor no negative feelings towards you if you don't accept.

    (That awkward moment when you're preaching but you realize you're human as well)

    -S

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