Home Featured SBM Video Series: Approaching Women and The Three Foot Rule

SBM Video Series: Approaching Women and The Three Foot Rule


Honestly, when it comes to the courting process I’m not the most ambitious man on the planet. Some might even call me lazy. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem approaching women. I do that all the time. I’m just saying I’m not going to go out of my way to do it. However, I can’t take full credit for this philosophy on life.

My best friend and mentor in High School explained his theory on approaching women in a concept he called, The Arm Distance Rule. In short, my friend informed me that he never approached a woman that was further than an arm’s distance away. This ancient courting principle had apparently been passed down in his family from generation to generation. In a time when young horny overly eager men abounded, perfectly willing to chase girls from sea to shining sea pride-be-damned, my friend distinguished himself not by aggressively pursuing every single women that passed but instead, he passively pursued select women that came within an arm’s distance. He would calmly extend his arm, say, “Excuse me,” then engage in polite conversation. Compared to my overly aggressive friends, his rate of successful number acquisition was undeniable. It was quite a sight for my young juvenile eyes to observe. Soon I adopted this ancient family secret for myself and the rest is, as they say, history.

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As I got older, I modified the now infamous Arm Distance Rule into the more applicable, mobile, and modern day, Three Foot Rule. Today, I’m happy to outline how this rule works in the instructional video below.


If you haven’t already, check out last week’s SBM Video Series edition, Sh*t Suburban Black Guys Say. Join our Facebook page or YouTube channel to find out when new videos are available. Please share your thoughts on today’s videos or your own personal wisdoms on courting and approaching women (or men) in the comment section.


  1. That cute thuggish Messican needs to get his mind right. Ain't nobody 'special as me!

    Can't argue with what works for you. It's an interesting point you bring up about being mobile and there being a chance that X woman would eventually end up within a 3 foot radius of your location. You sure you've never found yourself consciously or subconsciously gravitating towards a certain area of wherever you are just to get to that magical distance, without necessarily making a beeline for cutie? The Kim Ks and Sofia Vergara be getting exceptional treatment, huh? What if you saw some lookalikes?

    1. Of course. When I enter a vicinity, roughly 15 seconds after I've entered I'm already taking a mental snap shot and on-going list of the women I think I want to approach. However, the difference between me and some men I've observed (some friends included) is that I don't make a beeline right to that woman or group of women like she's the last woman on Earth. I'll casually make my way towards her and if she's there when I get there, all good. If she's not, oh well. Kim Ks and Sofia Vergara's dont get exceptional treatment. But, I might expedite my coincidental movement to their proximity. Keep in mind, as I said in the video, this "rule" only applies to women that havent smiled at me or given me some indication they are interested in me approaching. If you're standing their with the ice-grill looking mad and un-approachable, you will not get approached. Not by me anyway. This "rule" is for the cold-approach of some women, which I hardly ever do anyway to be perfectly honest. Chances are if WIM walks up to you, I have some idea of my odds of success long before I got there.

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      1. It all makes perfect sense, then. I tend to avoid the situation when I see men I can already tell I will have no interest in making a bee-line from a mile away. Find a reason to excuse myself, strike up a strategic conversation/dance with someone in the vicinity, etc, etc. I sometimes book a gradual approach and do the same. But yeah, establishing some kind of favourable eye contact and/or other exchange beforehand is definitely the way to go.

  2. I agree. No chasing from me. But if they're in my vicinity they're going to get chopped lol

    The ones above need to be a 7.5 or higher

    And the ones who purposely dance in front of you. I just chop them because I know they want to be chopped. These ones must be at least a 6.5 on my scale


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