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Chris Brown Can Beat Me


This was the sentiment expressed by, at minimum, 25 Chris Brown fans during the Grammys last night. I’m sure they didn’t expect their Tweets to be shared around the world on sites like the Huffington Post, but such is the nature of the Internet. Some apologized, but most acted defensively. They preferred to rely on the timeless defense of, “It was just a joke.”

Below are a few more supportive Chris Brown fans. You can see all 25 here.


























The fact that all these tweets were made by women, predominately young women, puts me at a loss for words. I guess I’m shocked, yet not surprised. Social media has a way of lowering your expectations for your fellow man, or in this case, woman. Unlike Roland Martin who made an allegedly similarly-themed Tweet last week about homosexuals during the Super Bowl, since these women are not public figures, they will not receive admonishment from some large and formidable organization like GLAAD. They won’t lose their job. In fact, other than being judged by a few thousand random strangers on the Internet, nothing will happen to them. Assuming it hasn’t already, life will return to normal. It must be nice.

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To be clear, Chris Brown has paid his legal dues (moral is up to you to determine). Therefore, this post is not about Chris Brown. It’s about the women in the present – like those featured above – who seem to believe his past violent actions are meant for nothing more than comedic fodder in the insignificant confines of 140 characters when millions of women are still trying to escape their respective “Chris Brown” each and every day.

In closing, a link to an officer’s recount of the Chris Brown incident showed up on my timeline today. As I re-read the report, nothing seemed worthy of a joke. Least of all the part where the officer describes in detail how Rihanna’s mouth began to “fill with blood and blood splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle” because Chris Brown was not jokingly beating her as suggested on Twitter by these women. He was literally beating his then girlfriend. As she curled into a ball and attempted “to protect her face and head from the barrage of punches being levied upon her by Brown,” I doubt even in her wildest dreams she thought about how funny this would one day be to her x-boyfriend’s fans. But hey, that was years ago, which is literally forever in Internet time…

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Today it’s just a joke, right?


  1. I read the police report online and it was nothing short of terrible. I also read a comment underneath that said (I'm paraphrasing) "Rihanna started it b/c she looked at his text messages and went psycho and then she tried to gouge his eyes out and took his car keys from him. #teambreezy)

    I've been baffled for the past 3 years as to why so many young women (a lot of them black) hate Rihanna and now I have the answer; They wanted Chris Brown to beat them. I subscribe to Essence online and everytime they post an article about Rihanna (usually about her music or her style) most of the responses are "I can't stand that bitch/hoe" "She ruined Chris Brown's life" or "She's a talentless whore!" And these comments come from grown women.

    I don't dislike Chris Brown but this type of "support" is the reason why he truly hasn't tended to his anger problems. Look at what he did on GMA. I too felt the questioning by Robin Roberts was redundant but his reaction was unnecessary and extremely inappropriate. A few seconds longer with his hands around her neck and he could have killed Rihanna, that's a big damn deal. Domestic violence is not something to aspire to and it's not cool. Even if it is coming from a singing, dancing cute guy with tattoos and shit.

    1. I wouldn't read that much into it. There are a lot of young black girls out there taking all kinds of abuse from boys who have much less influence and talent and displaying equal or more lack of self-respect. If anything, I would hypothesize that black girls would be more likely to front about the possibility of them being in such a situation à la tough black girl with attitude.

    2. @msorvam: "But you didn't mention the most glaring common denominator, is that most of these young women, from what I've seen at least, are white."

      I noticed the same thing.

    3. There are a lot of black girls who feel the same way. I hear them everyday when I teach them. They see nothing wrong with what he did, and nothing wrong with a boy who beat up a girl in the cafeteria the other morning while other girls and boys watched until it was broken up.
      My recent post Text reminder of sharing the love

  2. See, THIS right here is the argument I have when people say I need to "focus on his music & his personal life shouldn't matter". People forget that his music is actually not that great, and a lot of his fan base is purely based on sexual appeal to alot of girls too young & dumb to really know what they're getting into. Therefore, his personal life DOES come into play, as evidenced by the girls (who mostly are too young to have a Twitter, and I know it's off topic but what the holy heck was Amber Cole doing with a TWITTER???) who clearly need to sit dahell down & find Jesus. There's just too much wrong with this here to cover in a post. I'm tying my tubes.

  3. People make a joke of every sick thing imaginable. Disclaimers make them acceptable, of course. /sarcasm. When I initially read this story, I felt the girls were absolutely daft, because I took their words at face value. Thinking about it again, I'm sure some of them really were joking, but it's disturbing to know that there are a good number of girls and women out there who really would let a boy/man get away with such brutality simply because of their love of his talent and/or looks.

    I can't be completely judgmental because I'm sure some people around me have made jokes about CB/Rihanna, and I'm equally sure I've chuckled at at least one, even if not wholeheartedly. The sad thing is that we inadvertently make light of serious issues that should never be regarded with the faintest smile. I'm sure many a comedian is out there still rolling out CB-inspired material. As time progresses, I'm much more conscious about the things I laugh about, and have grown distant from some people with what I consider inappropriate humour. I'm nonetheless not above laughing at a tasteless joke, and it's made worse by the fact that my empathy appears to be selective.

  4. When I saw those tweets in Huffington Post I was so disgusted and saddened. At the time of the Chris B/Rihanna incident I was in graduate school taking a public policy/advocacy course (My master is in Social Work). My group members did an advocacy project on teen domestic violence. It was so sad the number of young girls who were abused daily by their boyfriends. It was also so sad how these young girls were enduring this abuse but felt ashamed to ask for help. The youngest girl we researched was 14 years old. Not only were these young girls being abused but some were actually killed by thier boyfriends. Teenage girls age 15 were losing their lives to their boyfriends who were also 15. So so sad.
    I was also a victim of domestic violence in my early 20′ (I’m 28late now). I was able to leave the situation, some girls don’t have the strength or the support to leave. Domestic violence is a setups thing so for these young girls to proclaim this ignorance made me think about what is society teaching these girls. Where do they get to this mindset to think its ok to get “beat” by a man. Who wants that? As a therapist I could go on and on about the state of our youth (because I see it all) but I’m not. I just hope someone can guide these going girls (rather they were joking or not) and let them know this behavior is unacceptable. Domestic violence is not a joke. It’s not funny. I don’t know, sometimes I just shake my head.

    (APOLOGIES for any typos, I typed this message on my phone)

  5. It's inappropriate and saddening, but these statements are also taken out of context. People make stupid jokes. While I'm positive that many of those girls were serious, or at least *thought* they were serious, a lot of them are just talking mess. You can find the crudest, most offensive things on Twitter, because people don't care.
    My recent post Chinese people do not "TAKE" your jobs

  6. It's all a joke until you actually get punched in the face, or your eyes swollen so you can't see, or you kidneys in failure because he kicked you in just the right/wrong place, or put through a gatdamn wall, or a gun put to your head, or…
    I just don't get the joke.
    It's not funny, it's not cute. To anyone who has been there.
    They don't get a pass, but like you said they aren't famous. I pray it never ever happens to them.

  7. I think it's deplorable to make light of domestic violence. At the heart of these girls tweets is the same problem that young girls (who become women) have: they think that they can change a man. They think that whatever they have to offer is so much better than the other chick that a man like Chris Brown would never beat them or hurt them or abuse them. They think (jokingly or not) that Rihanna deserved it because she incited his anger and they would never get themselves in that position.

    As a mentor to young girls, its sad to see what they will accept because of their own low esteem and this idea that being with a handsome and famous man will somehow elevate them.

    Even worse, is that they wont ever be chastised or public censured for their disrespectful comments. Why? Because no one really cares about the few careless tweets of teenybopper fans. But when these easily influenced women often fall for men who will eventually prey on their insecurities and become the broken women they once defamed.
    Cycles are sad in their viciousness.
    My recent post Welcome to the Jungle

  8. This is very sad. There is a problem on both ends. After Rihanna got beat up i was shcked at how many men i heard supporting his actions and saying she got what she deserved because they heard she had an attitude. I dobt think this attitude is a joke. I think people are becoming more accepting of this type of behavior. I think its the whatevrr doesnt kill you makes you stronger thought. So many men have zero respect for women. God forbid as a woman you try to communicate with your man youll get your lights knocked out. Ive gon through this and had to go out with my eye swelled shut and bruises on my face. And you know what happened two men turned around looked at me and started laughing. Another instance i was being beat up and i had to call the ambulance because my actual eyeball was scratched/damaged. I was extremely disoriented and bloody. He didnt have a scratch. All male cops came when i called. They took me to jail overnight because they didnt want him to get in trouble because he just got on probation.

    Peoples ‘ mentalities are screwed.

  9. Sadly, too many people try to find reasons to ignore certain behaviors they don't like when it comes to artists, athletes, etc.

    In no way am I the morality police, but if any of these young women had ever been hit by a 'loved' one, I assume their responses would be much different. In fact, there are reports that both Chris and Rihanna hit each other on different occasions and that's even more sad.

    Abuse is no joke and people need to be very careful about what they think is cute, especially on the internet where everything you say stays around forever.
    My recent post From Daria to NotLikeHerEither…Cupid’s Got a Brand New Bag…

  10. Dem girls were dead serious when they tweeted that… It adds credence to the fact/opinion that women like to date men who have the capacity for violence, even if one day it ends up hurting them

    Give women what they want

  11. I wasn't gonna comment on this…but…eh…its been years in the making.

    What Chris Brown did was wrong. Period. He paid his debt to society…went through the legal system and should be allowed to live out this 2nd chance at life without constantly being reminded of his past transgressions. You don't wanna forget? Fine. But continuing to publicly crucify any person who has been held accountable for their wrong doings is wrong. I don't think he deserved the grammy cause I'm not a fan of the music. But to say he didn't deserve the grammy cause of something HE PAID FOR already is just hypocritical. We've all made deplorable mistakes. We all deserve a second chance.

    1. Instigating is wrong. And women need to be held accountable more…even in the legal system…for how they think they can slap, spit on, vandalize men's stuff, disrespect men, etc…unrealistically forgetting that ALL HUMANS have a breaking point. When men deal with women who think its ok to do this stuff, they need to realize how they put themselves in jeopardy…dealing with women who don't mind pushing their buttons…basically looking for their breaking point. Women who do this stuff to men are wrong too. Period. And I despise the fact the fact that everyone wants to gloss over what led up to the incident like it didn't matter. It did and it does. Does it justify Chris' actions. Nope…not at all. He deserved the legal actions taken. But it doesn't make her part in what led up to that abusive moment ok. It was NOT ok.

      PS: To address the topic, these tweets are stupid…very uncool.

      1. I think that people don't reach that kind of breaking point if everything has gone right in their upbringing and view of self. Both men and women should always be helf accountable for any violent actions they take, but men have a greater power to physically hurt women, so they should be even more vigilent about their own, possibly violent nature. You should be able to walk away before hitting a woman.

        Addressing both of their faults is ok, unless it hints to thinking he had a right to do what he did.

        1. "…but men have a greater power to physically hurt women, so they should be even more vigilent about their own, possibly violent nature." -> Iono…Laila Ali woulda tore Chris up, lol. I get your point though. Which is why I said that men shouldn't tolerate women physically hurting them. Break up with these wildin out females. Thats how they protect themselves.

          "Addressing both of their faults is ok, unless it hints to thinking he had a right to do what he did." -> Agreed. That's why I specifically said he did NOT have a right to react that way.

        2. I was raised with this principle: "Do not put your hands on ANYONE, male or female, unless you are prepared to fight." If I, a female, hit a man, its cause I wanna throw down. If I'm not trying to fight or get my butt tore up, I keep my hands to myself and "fight" with my words. How Imma hit you first (askin for a fight, based on my upbringing)…and then call the cops when I lose the fight?! That's why you keep your hands to yourself. Don't go starting stuff unless you are SURE you're gonna win. You just might punk the one that'll end up beating you down…

          End all, be all…everybody keep your limbs to yourself. Ladies, don't go slappin, etc. the fellas. Men, don't go Tyson on the sistas. As they used to say around the way, "don't start none, won't be none."

      2. Interesting perspective about the accountability of women. I in no way condone what CB did, but nobody wants to talk about the lead up. Or how women be hitting men because they know there will be minimal consequences.

        I also think people need to stop with the reminders of the past. People be hanging onto stuff from 10 years ago as a justification for why someone shouldn't be rewarded today.
        My recent post In a City Where the Struggle Is Real

        1. Agreed.

          Hey…growing up, the principle I was raised on was this:

          "Don't put your hands on ANYONE, male or female, unless you are prepared and ready to fight." As they used to say around the way, "don't start none, won't be none"…

  12. I’m slightly torn. I don’t think people make fun of all domestic violence victims, just those that have betrayed the trust and sympathy of the public. Believe it or not Rihanna was put on a pedastool given international coverage, she overnight turned into a very real example of domestic abuse. However, here she is recording a song with him, defending him on twitter and basically telling all those who vehmently supported her throughout her ordeal to fuck off. Does this woman, who was the victim and present during the beating, really deserve not to be joked about. People are making light of the situation because SHE is making light of the situation. At the end of the day( no Chris brown shade intended) she’s a grown woman and this is the Internet. People make fun of paraplegic gay war veterans I very much doubt that Rihanna is exempt.

    Talk that Talk in stores now.


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