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Black Women Heavier but Happier and SBM Couldn’t Be More Proud…Sort of


While surfing the Internet, the boy Wisdom is Misery sent us an interesting article. You may have seen it around. It talks about Black Women being heavier and happier than their white counterparts. Naturally, on the SBM listserve (don’t be surprised we have one), we ranted and raved and discussed this topic ad nauseum, and figured we should bring the discussion to you, the customer! So check out our viewpoints on this article.

SBM applauds you but...

Dr. J

Wait a minute… turn those mics down and turn my mic up.  We cannot ever condone malfeasance in society for as long as we live.  I think it was Cam’ron who brought forth the interjectory phrase, “That’s a problem!”  We need to stop the music for  a brief moment and discuss something important to our health and our race.  Please see below.

Dear Black women,

Read this,

My first diet started when I was six years old, I’ve never been a small girl. One day I had to sit down with myself and decide that I loved myself no matter what my body looked like and what other people thought about my body.”

Is this the "average" goal we're moving towards? No thank you.

That’s a quote from Gabby Sidibes (Precious) on the Oprah Winfrey Show.  Full disclosure, Oprah looked at her like she was crazy when she said this.  Therefore, I won’t roast Oprah “Headmaster of The League of Extraordinary Middle Class White Women” Winfrey today.

Ladies, we love each and every inch of your body.  We know you know we love it, too.  However, we need you to be around long enough for us to enjoy it for a lifetime.  With that said, at 5’4” and a size 14, while you may be happy with yourselves, let’s not ever confuse happiness and healthiness.  If your doctor has told you that you may want to lose 30 lbs to get to a healthier weight, do not accept 15 as a healthy compromise. There are no compromises had with obesity.  The consequence is death.  It’s almost like telling God, “I believe you created the Earth and I believe in miracles, but be honest, Jesus isn’t your son.”

A lot of the problems you guys have come from horrible diets, guilty pleasures and lack of exercise.  Somewhere along the way, Black women seemed to be more interested in having a full head of hair when they die, than taking their behinds to the gym.  As a Black man, I am tired of walking into a lounge or club and hearing you complain about not having anywhere to sit for the next 45 minutes.  If you can’t stand on your feet for 45 minutes or experience shortness of breath after walking up two flights of stairs, THAT’S A PROBLEM.

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AND, if that is the case, I don’t want to see an article that says, “Black women are heavier and happier.”  Why?  Because I think that we can find ways to be happy about ourselves, but also work towards being healthier.  And I’m telling you this because I care, not because I want to piss you off, take it however you want to take it.

Dr. J

PS – I find Pinky to be repulsive.
PPS – Stop bringing Amber Rose into things she ain’t got nothing to do with.
PPPS – Taylor… Gang.


What I like about this article: It encourages a positive self image for black women. This is something I support and find too rare a feat in mainstream media.

You can do side bends or sit-ups but please don't lose that butt.

What I hope isn’t overlooked in this article: Let’s keep in mind that the main woman in this article is a fitness instructor. Others cannot simply blame “genetics” for their shape, obese or otherwise, if you don’t work out, eat right, or live a healthy lifestyle. That doesn’t make sense. That’s like saying genetics will prevent you from getting cancer while you smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. That’s not how the game works. Conversely, if you eat right, work out, and live a healthy lifestyle and you’re still thick, as defined by a metric I’m not sure I personally agree with, but don’t fit in the traditional Body Mass Index, that’s fine as far as WIM is concerned.  Honestly, I prefer a woman with meat on her bones and everyone who knows me knows this. However, I don’t want a woman whose said meat has collected on said bones because like T-Pain all she does is win, win, win no matter what at every all you can eat buffet she’s ever encountered. In the long run, that’s not something I can support.

For clarity on my part, I’m only addressing women today because that was the main focus of the article. I have already shared my thoughts on weight gain within a relationship. Furthermore, I feel the same can be said about black men, and therefore, the entire black community. We need to do better in a lot of categories and simply dropping it like it’s hot to LMFAO’s “I’m sexy and I know it” isn’t a work out plan nor will it reduce the devastating rates of diabetes, heart disease, and a multitude of other preventive diseases which lead to the ridiculously high number of early deaths plaguing our community.

Big is beautiful. But you can be big and healthy, too. You can also be skinny and unhealthy, I’m looking at you Toothpick “I Eat Churchs Spicy Chicken Everyday” Tommy. For the record, I wouldn’t speak on this subject if I didn’t care about our community’s health as a whole. This is not an attack but take it how you see fit, no pun.

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The article was peace to me. Instead of give a sweeping opinion, I will comment on some excerpts which caught my eye and my opinion:

The poll found that although black women are heavier than their white counterparts, they report having appreciably higher levels of self-esteem. Although 41 percent of average-sized or thin white women report having high self-esteem, that figure was 66 percent among black women considered by government standards to be overweight or obese.

This doesn’t surprise me in the least. Black women on average are just “built” different than other races. We have a rich history of overcoming oppression and racism, and deep rooted within that is a strengthened sense of self. Black women have to deal with ridicule from all areas, and they are still represent, so it makes sense that those both “obese” and “normal” sizes would have high self-esteem on average.

The notion that all women must be culled into a single little-bitty aesthetic is just one more tyranny, they say. And black women have tools for resisting tyranny, especially from a mainstream culture that has historically presented them negatively, or not at all.

Even Snooki lost weight...SNOOKI!

Truth. We all are made to conform to the European model of beauty, and sometimes people forget that beauty resides in all shades and forms. The same people who clowned black women for big butts, lips and hips, now imbibe themselves with silicon, butt implants, and Botox, in order to capture those sexually appealing qualities that Black women possess.This is one of the many reasons why black women are guarded when it comes to critiques on their images. The media and society forces them to have to be on the defensive and constantly defend their own gorgeousness.  It’s like society wants the best of both worlds, but tries to charge rent to those who own that world!

Doctors have long told her she needs to lose weight — 30 or 40 pounds, according to their charts. She’d be cool with 15. She tried weight loss programs such as Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem in years past, but “I came to realize that I have to have some freedom to eat.”

Instead of fixating on shedding weight, she focuses on being fit and healthy and finding her joy in that: “This is how I’m genetically designed, and I’ve accepted that.”

On the flip side, it’s mentalities like this that piss me off. I’ve written many times how BMI is a joke. It’s an archaic measurement of fitness, and should not be the sole benchmark to determine whether you are healthy. You should measure your body fat and actual weight. You should get your cholesterol, heart rate, blood sugar, and all those internal stats.

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When doctors tell you that you need to lose weight, and you acknowledge that you should but the “food keeps callin you…” you exhibit a mental slavery to food. You can eat pretty well without eating sh*tty food. You don’t need to eat grass and rice cakes 24/7 to be healthy. When faced with medical experts giving you advice, it would behoove you to research and apply it to your life.

Finally, stop using genetics as a crutch! Just because you have a certain body type doesn’t mean that you have to accept it and remain slightly obese. If you want to be healthier and in better shape, it starts with YOU! Sacrifice, dedication, and focus will eventually get you to your goal. It won’t happen overnight, but if you have a tight game plan, you will achieve. There are people who aren’t born tall, strong, pretty, intelligent, etc, but they don’t let that stop them from trying and over achieving. Body type and genetics aren’t no different! You aren’t given a death sentence to obesity when you are born. You may have to work harder or be more careful, but it is possible. Take it from someone with every black ailment in his bloodline, I won’t accept it and neither should Black Women!

And though she’s never married, she contends she never lacks boyfriends, black and white. “Men have always said to me, ‘You’re not fat, you’re p-h-a-t fat.’ And when I’m not teaching, I’m all girl.”

Fellas, we have to either a) stop gassing fat women telling them that they are “phat” (people still say phat in 2012?!), or b) reassess our definition of thick. As I’ve written about before, when you perform a proper cost-benefit analysis of a woman’s physical appearance, you can properly determine whether to you she is normal or fat. However ladies, some dudes just want to beat and will tell you whatever to get between your thighs. Too many men do this, and you get the reactions like above. We all SHOULD know the difference between a “plus sized body” and an overweight/obese body type. Don’t lie to yourself ladies, get in shape if you need to, and if you desire.

So let us know what you think. Is being big and beautiful the move in 2012? What is your definition of healthy? What are your thoughts on the article?


  1. "Black women seemed to be more interested in having a full head of hair when they die, than taking their behinds to the gym."

    Annnnnd I'm Done!!!! *exits stage right* >>>>>>>


  2. I'm with Streetz. BMI is a joke. We just need to keep all of the internal numbers in check. My definition of physically healthy is not getting those numbers flagged by my doctor. It also includes eating a diet of real and varied foods. Lastly, one should be fit enough to do average stuff like lift moderately heavy things, run short distances, climb a few flights of stairs, etc. without needing a serious recovery period. My work on all of these is always in progress.

  3. Ever since I lost my pre-teen chub, I've been averse to the idea of packing on the pounds. However, you wouldn't be able to tell with the way I eat sometimes. I developed high metabolism and am still struggling to get to that point where I engage in healthier eating habits and work out regularly because I've been spoiled. I've been 98.5% talk, 1.5% action thus far. I'm in no real position to judge the bigger girls, although I do agree that they should try to make a change for the better.

    It does make sense that heavier set black women would have higher self-esteem than their white counterparts. I can't count how many times I've been told by Nigerian/North American black adults that I need to put some meat on my frame, because that's supposedly what men want. Although Western ideals have started affecting our body image back home, there's still a "healthy" appreciation for big women. There are some other African cultures I know with skinny ass men who turn their noses up at average-to-skinny women. Weight is viewed as a sign of good living and wealth. There are Middle Eastern cultures that force their daughters into fattening camps to ensure that they come out barely able to waddle, such that their "market value" will increase. All this to say that white people have generally had more of a penchant for being skinny than other groups, even though they also appreciated big boned women once upon a time.

    Sometimes, people resign themselves to their current status and claim to be happy. It's one thing to decide to accept and value yourself as you are, but quite another to pretend as though you wouldn't rather be smaller, or that it's not unhealthy and that there aren't changes within your power to make.

  4. This topic is so sticky. Probably shouldn’t be attempted by a group of men. Everything you say will be held against you. But you persist. Anyways…… This could come off as, yeah I like you the way you are, and yeah I know it must take some supernatural force for you to be happy with yourself in spite of all the hate you get from everyone. EVERYONE. But, um, you kinda need to lose weight and people telling you are fine are lying to you. You kinda need to stop being so happy with yourself. For your own good.

    I get it. I really do. I love my body. I’m technically obese if you are looking at BMI. And I’m an athlete and i look damn good. I’m genetically big. That exists. Because I’ve baffled a number of trainers and nutritionists at my body’s ability to hold on to weight. But its a advantage for my sport. So I’m cool with it. I brag about my weight to shock people.

    However, I loved my body before I started working out. I didn’t care a whole lot what people thought. just decided to lose weight and get in shape because I live in an image conscious community and it would improve my quality of life in terms of how I am treated by other people. I didn’t use to care, I decided to care.

    But everyone isn’t like me and some people should push away the plate and go to the gym. But what business is it if mine, yours, or anyone’s to tell a stranger what they need to do with their body? Really. We’ve gone overboard with this, acting like its our business because of public health. Thats bullshit because someone else’s size doesn’t affect you. Nunya. Mindya.

    1. They really were making a tight business move… Dr. J was the closest to real out of all of them… You cannot throw your readership under the bus like that… But I will

    1. And then she has a kid and your in the house stuck with this big old lady. And she catches Diabetes and Heart Disease and now she won't cook with salt or sugar, so there goes your Kool-Aid and Fried Chicken.

  5. I think Snooki and Raven look good in both pics….although Raven had an over abundance of tig ole bitties that looked like she might tip over if she walked too fast…..lol.
    At any rate, I wholeheartedly believe in eating healthy and working out. I've never been one to use my hair as an excuse not to work out…….I think that's a dumb as cat sh**.
    I've learned from experience that when you work out and eat better you feel better. I've never really been over-weight….from childhood was always a lil short skinny bit** ……as I've gotten older and my body has changed and I listen to my elders in the family I realize I need to "Eat To Live" and not "Live To Eat."
    I love, value and respect my life and want to live fairly long and healthy and well. My grandmom taught me it's not about how long you live but your quality of life. Your not gonna want to live long if you can't do anything for yourself and are sickly and in pain and living a miserable existence. My grandmom is 91, lives alone and does very well, has a fairly active lifestyle and has a "boyfriend."

  6. She is everything I aspire to be if I live that long God-willing. She is in great health and the only thing she has is osteo-arthritis and she does water aerobics to help with that and moves around a lot and doesn't sit still for too long.

  7. This issue is so multifaceted. And I think plentyyy of Black women are working out and making efforts to eat healthier, and it is a struggle. More Black women are working out now then ever before, well at least its being broadcasted more. i.e. Black Girls Run. It sucks to have the same struggle for year upon year. At what point do you let go of THAT mental baggage. Holding on to it is how low self esteem and eating disorders develop. It is such a fine line. If it was that simple, we'd all have the bodies we want. And no, I know it isn't and shouldn't be easy, I just don't think this will ever be as simple as "eat right and workout." Especially when you see so many success stories, and you see ALL that they've sacrificed. My sister can drop 20 lbs by cutting a few items out my diet. I could eat lean protein and veggies for a week and drop 3. I just think its a sticky topic, so I can't be mad at someone who says "let me meet my doctor halfway at 15" shoot that is more than MOST would say or do.

  8. "Black women seemed to be more interested in having a full head of hair when they die, than taking their behinds to the gym."

    So true, but on the flip, it's not a full head of hair that women are shooting for. It's hair that kempt or straight and lovely like you men seek. So many men are all on that BS of long, straight, "euro" hair that women in general, not just black, don't exercise to keep an appearance up to find or keep a man. I was guilty of that nonsense myself a couple years back. Doing everything on earth to maintain that relaxer until I shaved my hair off and grew an afro. Even so, I've been told that even with an afro I'm not supposed to "wash" my hair everyday. So where does that leave me when I run 4 days a week? IN A LERCH!

    I read so many blogs and hear so many songs on the radio glorifying European attributes and Latino women, I wonder what the heck is happening. What I got from this is, black women are happy with themselves, but here's why they shouldn't be…..

    1. I can't let you sacrifice your health over the lie. You can wash your afro everyday. You just have to make sure it's conditioned well afterwards. Plus a clean scalp and clean hair is good for healthy hair. Go right ahead and work out and wash your hair daily!

  9. I would've gotten at thick Raven…dunno…never found her unattractive.

    Not touching the rest of this though…

    1. I'm just glad people started calling her Raven cause those years when dudes would be like, "Olivia can get it!" I always looked at those dudes differently because Olivia was 4 years old.

  10. Sista's seriously need to stop with the excuses and pure D laziness and start caring more about their health if nothing else. Stop talking about it and be about it. It's not easy but definitely doable.
    And what benchmark are they using for these so-called women white women who are not as happy as fat black women? And who are these women they are talking about?

  11. All the white women and women of other nationalities I know that are slim, skinny, and not big are as happy as clams. They are married, engaged, or have boyfriends, they are able to run marathons, triathalons, bike to work everyday, jog every morning almost 10 miles and not be winded and they can do this over 40 yrs old, ( and lookin good doing it).

  12. Most of the white women and women of other nationalities I know who have 2 plus kids are able to get right back exactly to their pre-pregnancy weight before their youngest is a year old. They also have fairly healthy and easy pregnancies. I definitely think it's in part because they eat good and exercise while pregnant.
    My cousin and girlfriend ate all types of junk and didn't exercise and both had preeclampsia and 2 miscarriages before having to be put on diet restrictions and being bed-ridden until they gave birth.
    So again I ask……what women are these that are not as happy as over-weight black women…….??
    Forreal ladies it's no joke. When you get older and your body ages and you have all types of health problems and cannot do the things you want because of health conditions then you will see.
    If you don't stay disciplined and do the right things now, as you get older what are supposed to be your "Golden Years" won't be so "Golden."
    Thats my PSA…..I'm done.

    1. We will all have different experiences based on who we know. I do think more white women workout throughout their pregnancies, but I think that tide is starting to change.

      I just know in College many of my White female counterparts were obsessed about their size. But alas, this is also a matter of whose statistics are these?

      It becomes a matter of how much do I have to give up to get there, and will I even be happy when I get there?

      1. I really agree with your last sentence. I was 5'5 I30 for a while, and I seriously – seriously thought I was fat. I was very unhappy, anxious and insecure. I was that way because the way I'd lost weight was by hating myself thin (you look so bad, you have to stop eating, go to the gym fatty etc). I thought it was the motivation I needed to be healthy & cute- and hey, it worked.

        Only when I finally got to a perfectly acceptable size…I had no idea ho to love myself as I was, since I'd never done that before. I've put on weight since then (not sure how much cause I don't weight myself anymore). BUT——> I am so much happier. I have peace, no anxiety, I feel so good. IMO, the extra 20 or so lbs was worth it.

        I don't think everyone should do what I did, but I highly recommend counting the cost of whatever you do. Sometimes it's just not worth it!!!!
        My recent post The Measure of A Woman

  13. I think this is really sticky. For multiple reasons. Self-esteem is great regardless of size, as long as you don't look a mess. I wish "eating right and working out" was all that it took. The reality is that our bodies all respond differently to both food and exercise. I feel like black women now are working out more than ever, i.e. Black Girls Run. So many have gone natural, so the whole idea of sweating our perms out is minimizing. When I see success stories I get both inspired and deterred once I've seen ALL they have sacrificed. No, I dont expect it to be easy, nor should it be. My sister could drop 20 lbs by simply cutting a few foods out of her diet. I could eat lean protein, leafy greens and brown rice and never breach 5 lbs. Everyone's struggle is different and its something were usually plagued with our entire lives.

    Someone referred to being a slave to food, I think it goes both ways. I think obsessing about being smaller is just as unhealthy. I see nothing wrong with freeing yourself from THAT mental baggage. That's how low self-esteem and eating disorders happen. And plenty of Black men and women suffer from them, they are just too taboo to talk about.

    In short, I advocate for everyone to be on that path to healthiness. Which for me includes monitoring all those internal stats, making better food choices and doing what I can on the fitness level. And I can't knock the girl who wants to compromise a 15lb weight loss instead of 30, cause that is more than most would do.

  14. I think this is really sticky. For multiple reasons. Self-esteem is great regardless of size, as long as you don't look a mess. I wish "eating right and working out" was all that it took. The reality is that our bodies all respond differently to both food and exercise. I feel like black women now are working out more than ever, i.e. Black Girls Run. So many have gone natural, so the whole idea of sweating our perms out is minimizing. When I see success stories I get both inspired and deterred once I've seen ALL they have sacrificed. No, I dont expect it to be easy, nor should it be. My sister could drop 20 lbs by simply cutting a few foods out of her diet. I could eat lean protein, leafy greens and brown rice and never breach 5 lbs. Everyone's struggle is different and its something were usually plagued with our entire lives.

  15. Ok….please excuse my ranting and raving prior to reading the article.
    Now that I have read as much as I could without subscribing to the Washington Post, I think the point of this article is to empower women even if they are bbw's and full figured and not have them feel ugly, and down-trodden because they are big.
    I don't think anything is wrong at all with being a healthy or "thick madame"…..I'm far from skinny now….5'1 and 135 lb's. I don't find fault with the article for empowering full figured women and encouraging them to feel beautiful despite their size, stature, and figure, because every woman is beautiful in her own way. However it also discusses exercise and that those full figured women are healthy enough to do all the things skinnier women can.
    Regardless of your size whats most impnt is your health. Your size in and of itself is not what can cause you serious health problems and potentially kill you….but your health and what makes you big can kill you. Thats the important point.

  16. I think this is really sticky. For multiple reasons. Self-esteem is great regardless of size, as long as you don't look a mess. I wish "eating right and working out" was all that it took. The reality is that our bodies all respond differently to both food and exercise. I feel like black women now are working out more than ever, i.e. Black Girls Run. So many have gone natural, so the whole idea of sweating our perms out is minimizing. When I see success stories I get both inspired and deterred once I've seen ALL they have sacrificed. No, I dont expect it to be easy, nor should it be. My sister could drop 20 lbs by simply cutting a few foods out of her diet. I could eat lean protein, leafy greens and brown rice and never breach 5 lbs. Everyone's struggle is different and its something were usually plagued with our entire lives.

  17. I appreciate this post. I can see how some would take offense to certain things said but the truth still remains that at, a certain point, the extra weight will turn into a health issue. I feel very strongly about the subject and always have. I’m hesitant to speak on it because when youve never been bigger than a size 1, people tend to write you off as being condescending. Recently I lost a close family member to nothing other than obesity. They were barely in the early thirties. Health problems due to obesity is real and need to be addressed. Not every woman needs to be able to fit into a size 6, but every woman needs to take their health seriously. So many times I hear bigger woman scoff at the subject simply by saying “I love myself and I don’t need to fit into anyone else’s standard of beauty.” But how one looks is not the issue. Be whatever size want if you’re as healthy as a horse that is great. But if your health is not in tip top shape, fix that.

  18. 1. I kinda like Pinky, so I will be checking her out shorting and maybe see how she can be repulsive… "Cherry Blossoms" works…

    2. A lot of American Black Men, enable this shit in ABW… So it starts with me… If I see a girl with potential (meaning hiding curves under fat), I will make sure she is on some diet/exercise regimen…

    3. Shame is not in our communities, we have NO say over what BW do… So they look like fat women Nicki Minaj clown suits (with children all over the place) wondering why they are single OR are with men from the reject pile… That is why BM need to get there bread up & call shots…

    I blame women for everything else expect weight & org.asms… I am pretty consistent on that

  19. I love my size 5'7 height, 38G breast, size 13 ass, size 10 shoe, long fingers, short sazzy hair,— no fake nails,eyelashes,fingernails,hazel contacts self!!!

    FUCK any one who doesnt.

    and i still got it!

  20. Fellas – If your woman is overweight and you enjoy gassing her up by telling her she's Phat, I recommend you keep on doing it! Seriously, please keep doing it! It won't make her happy (you don't have that kind of power) but it will show her that you love her unconditionally, no matter what size she is.

    And if she miraculously realizes on day that she loves herself no matter what her body looks like (too dark, short, skinny, muscular, fat) and no matter what other people think of her. I highly recommend you don't look at her like she's crazy. she's not. Instead, try giving her a round of applause cause THAT is amazing- most women aren't even close to being able to say that. And that too will show her that you love her unconditionally.

    After a while of doing stuff that shows her you're going to love her no matter what. THEN, you will probably be able to address any kind of health issue that she may have, including her weight, with out too much difficulty.

    Also, I agree with Wild Cougar. This is a very sensitive subject for women, not sure if you guys were the best people to take this on. Not that you can't give your opinions. I just don't know how much good your going to do. And, it may even make some women feel more insecure to hear you calling people "fat" and "toothpick" and "repulsive"

    also….REPULSIVE? Really?

    Cause we've got 16 year old girls vomiting in bathrooms and injecting house hold products in their a$$ trying to look like what they think SBMs (like you) want to look at. IJS…I think it's best to reserve words like 'repulsive' for situations like that.

    BTW… I think it's funny/awesome that my most recent post is talking about the Measure of a Woman. I posted it before I saw this article, but I think it makes an important counter point to what's going on here. Read and Comment!
    My recent post The Measure of A Woman

    1. As I thought, people would read our opinions and not really ovestand them. You should love yourself no matter what, but at what point do you keep it real and recognize for healths sake, it may be cool to lose some weight? Should men just let women do this to themselves, or men, or anyone they care about?!

      Cmon now.. too many cop out on this thread. We are the ones keepin it 100!

      1. Naw man, I really did understand what you all were saying. A person's health is very important. Perhaps just as important as feeling good about themselves. But- having lost over 80 lbs myself (down from 210) and struggling every day to stay healthy- I believe that the decision to lose weight is up to the woman who's health is at risk. All anyone else (especially a man) can really do is engage them in informative conversation, encourage them, love them and pray. AND in order for those things to have any effect…I think the woman need to feel secure and accepted.

        So, like I said. While clearly well meant, I'm not sure how much good can come from some of the language used. I feel like it has to do with the fact that you ARE men…you may not know how a woman hears words like "fat" and "toothpick". On the other hand…you did start a dialogue, which is SO SO good for change.
        My recent post The Measure of A Woman

  21. I'm really trying to be openminded about this post, but bear with me. Is there something I'm missing? Is obesity a bigger issue, like factually, among black women more than black men? Cause I honestly don't know.

    And if not, why is this just directed at women, if its just about health?

    1. I think this post is responding to an article that spoke mostly (maybe even entirely) about black women. A link to the article is above. Also, if I remember correctly, WIM does mention black men in passing.
      My recent post The Measure of A Woman

  22. I hope people are not saying PHAT anymore. I think the overall health issue is that we as black people have a tendency to eat what is readily available whether in our community or for time and convenience purposes. It is unfortunate that larger framed women are under the guise that it is okay and they are voluptuous blah blah, but are they HEALTHY?? I am 5’8 135 so it is not an issue of weight but health. I was having horrible headaches and really lethargic all the time. Why because if my sodium intake. Afr amer should intake 1500 because of predisposition to various ailments while the average for sodium is 2300. If uou habe Netflix check out Food Inc, Forks Over Knives and Food Matters. My fiance and I are waaaay more diligent about what we are eating.

  23. I’m going to start off by saying that people who don’t have a personal on their body problem with weight ALWAYS have a problem with people who DO have that personal on their problem with weight. And to this day, I can’t understand why, except it ain’t pretty to look at a lot of times. But it ain’t got nothing to do with the smaller folks but they gotta feel the need to make the bigger people, ESPECIALLY WOMEN, feel bad, worse, than they actually feel.

    I’ve given up on trying to defend my fatness. I know I’m fat and I know what I KEEP tryin to do to be smaller. I DON’T have those health problems: no blood pressure, no cholestorol, no diabetes. I thank God for that. Not my doctor, not mainstream society, not genetics (cuz its all way prevalent on both sides of my family, I’m sure.).

    I do think that, regardless of what the article may have said bigger women said, they aren’t “happier” about it, they have just learned to live themselves in whatever image they are in because they are too damned tired of trying to conform to what society says we need to look like.

    For people who don’t have to fight weight, it’s damned easy to wonder why there are so many fat butts out there and it’s extremely easy to blame it in those eating binges that you might see one out of every 5 fat folk engage in. But, you don’t get how hard it is for us fat asses to go workout. Just as much as y’all wanna see us work out, you’d laugh yourself hysterical to see us walk into a gym with the purpose of trying to start a weight loss program. You talk about what we can eat, but since YOU can just abt eat whatever you want, you can’t understand why we can’t eat less.

    It is so not easy being a bigger person. And I ain’t been talking about a size 14. That shyts normal! To me and my fat butt anybody smaller than that NEED to eat something (but that’s just me).

    Losing weight ain’t that easy either…mayber for size 18…but the bigger you go the harder it gets.

    I’m not trying to excuse the overweight/obsess community, some of them morherchuckers just don’t give a good damn, but for us ones who actually STRUGGLE, shoot, it’s easier for our asses to rob a bank and get away with it than to lose weight without killing ourselves. Personally, I already know, without some sort of medical procedure AND great divine intervention, I can work out and eat carriers until Jesus comes back, I won’t lose an amount of weight significant enough to be taken OFF the overweight/obese list. And that’s OK, cuz while I might not like that extra weight I see when I accidentally look in the mirror with my clothes off, I LOVE the me I know I would be at any size. (although I know I would be a b*txh on purpose if I lost a lot of weight and ppl started wanting to pay more attention to me…cuz my personality shouldnt be determine by my weight, but everyone makes it clear that it is…)

  24. Obesity is epidemic, meaning it is a worsening problem in our country that genetics (read: predisposition, not life sentencing) have very little to do with it with minimal exception. Educate each other.
    http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/trends.html for graphs representing the following (& think about the racial makeup of the states with the highest prevalence – genetics cannot begin to explain the rate of growth!):

    "During the past 20 years, there has been a dramatic increase in obesity in the United States and rates remain high. In 2010, no state had a prevalence of obesity less than 20%. Thirty-six states had a prevalence of 25% or more; 12 of these states (Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, and West Virginia) had a prevalence of 30% or more."

    1. Research has shown that as weight increases to reach the levels referred to as "overweight" and "obesity," the risks for the following conditions also increases:

      Coronary heart disease
      Type 2 diabetes
      Cancers (endometrial, breast, and colon)
      Hypertension (high blood pressure)
      Dyslipidemia (for example, high total cholesterol or high levels of triglycerides)
      Liver and Gallbladder disease
      Sleep apnea and respiratory problems
      Osteoarthritis (a degeneration of cartilage and its underlying bone within a joint)
      Gynecological problems (abnormal menses, infertility)

    2. & now the cost (apx. 1/3 of healthcare expenditures):

      "Overweight and obesity and their associated health problems have a significant economic impact on the U.S. health care system. Medical costs associated with overweight and obesity may involve direct and indirect costs. Direct medical costs may include preventive, diagnostic, and treatment services related to obesity. Indirect costs relate to morbidity and mortality costs. Morbidity costs are defined as the value of income lost from decreased productivity, restricted activity, absenteeism, and bed days. Mortality costs are the value of future income lost by premature death."

    3. This is a public health issue that black ppl need to CARE about for OURSELVES & EACH OTHER. It's all of our business.

  25. eh. talking about a women's weight never ends well.

    but i know that women want to, need to feel secure about their weight.

    that being said, a lady who is comfortable being obese, probably isn't the best match for me, and i let her be secure by herself, i figure that's the best course of action.

    1. Well, someday there maybe an overweight woman in your life that you won't be able to leave alone. ie, a daughter, sister or close friend. Or maybe your wife will gain weight after having kids. You'll have to address it. And if you want the convo to help at all, she has to feel secure in your love FIRST.

      Consider how secure you'd have to be with a woman before she can successfully broach an erectile dysfunction issue with you? Now, imagine how the convo would go if you'd already heard her call other guys with the same issue "limp dick" "repulsive". What I'm saying is you can have a productive convo about weight…but, just like everything, you have to do it in the right way.

      My recent post The Measure of A Woman

  26. Loving yourself as a woman and appreciating your body doesn’t mean blind acceptance. You can still love your body and recognize when/if there are areas that could use improvement. You do this in every other aspect of your lives so why not in terms of fitness? It’s just like any other area of your life…you value yourself enough to say hey at my core I love who I am but there are some changes and adjustments that I am willing to make in order to improve my lifestyle. It is a recognition without the condemnation…because the article doesn’t seemed to be so much about weight as it is about perspective and taking positive action…a lifestyle thing.

  27. Sure, on black websites EVERYDAY across the internet you men will find the perfect "thick" chick and she is exalted on the highest of pedestals and the next day she's fat and look at that cellulite and are those STRETCH MARKS?!?!?!.

    I feel like with black men we can't win. You LUST after us as fat women and simultaneously attack us. At 380 pounds I had dudes beating down my door and BEGGING me not to lose weight when I declared on my facebook page a year ago that I was going to attempt to get to a healthy weight with nutrition and exercise. What happened? I stopped giving a shit about other peoples perception of me and decided to embark on a journey to 160 pounds (I'm 5'8) for myself and I really don't give a damn about a mans opinion about my ass. I had to cut dozens upon dozens of people out of my life INCLUDING family who supported my obese lifestyle (because eating 5 double cheeseburgers at once is a choice). Yeah as a fat woman I'm rocking 60 inch hips and a 40 inch waist and men LOVE that, but it stopped being about being what men could love and started being about what I can love and my life has become better since. I'm still fat (working on it, but it takes time) and I'm VERY happy but I also aware of the things I did in the past to maintain a bigger body and I no longer do those things.

    I know many women who've gone through the same journey in letting go of what people think you should look like in favor of how you want to look and maybe many other black women are getting to this place too.

    While I get your point the BEST thing you guys can do is STOP this idolatry of video vixens. Most of us will NEVER look like that and it pretty much rips many women to the core when the men we love salivate over any woman with a giant ass. It is the equivalent of the white man lusting after Megan Fox knowing damn well he is with a size 10. It would do the world a service if we all stopped promoting people to the place of "perfect body" and live in a more realistic world.

  28. Its funny that these celebs that scream to the mountian top that they are fat and happy are usually the first to trim it down once they get a trainer. Its sad that I'm usually the only woman of color at my gym. I like having " cushion for the pushing" but i maintain that while still keeping a healthy weight. I want to add as well that just b/c someone isn't heavy doesn't mean they are healthy. I think black woman as a whole can stand to get more serious about our health.
    My recent post Charlotte Black Butterfly Single – Sonshine, Words & Ms. Channer

  29. Just catching up here: (A bunch of randoms)
    I agree with Amicus: show love and security, and a woman will feel comfy enough to become the best them they can be!
    I also agree with Missmeandi. Its a struggle for those who struggle, but its nothing but a topic of conversation to those who dont.

    My story:
    I'm athletic: I played volleyball in high school and college, was a cheerleader and even now at 33, i play on 2 volleyball leagues, do step aerobics, play tennis/racquetball, and am overall an active person.

    I'm also a size 18/20w.

    In my case, it's definitely genetics: Not only are both of my parents obese, as is my brother, but my grandmas, most aunts, uncles, cousins are too. I'm aware that my ideal weight is less, but I also realize that God doesn't want everyone on earth to be one size. And im not hiding behind that, because my effort is there!

    I've been thick my entire life: I was accused of stuffing my bra in the 4th grade. =/ I asked my mom to be put on a diet at 12, but she said i was still growing. By 13, SHE decided it was time. I was a size 16 AT age 16. I wanted a breast reduction at 18, but my mom refused, so i got one at 26 (talk about HAPPY!) So to still be an 18/20 at 33 yrs old is a huge (no pun intended) feat! I dont have any of the health risk factors, so my doctor's only complaint is that i need to lose weight.

    Whats most annoying to plus sized people is when others assume that anyone over a size 8 is just lazy, with a poor diet.
    Most of my friends are under a size 10. Two friends who are size 4 and 6 INHALE fast/junk food whenever we go out! I eat less than half what they do, and i have to be SURE to work out extra to makeup for the calories. My cousin has always been a size 4/6. She had a baby, then had TWINS, and today, at 42, is STILL a size 6. She has never been to a gym, and she eats whatEVER she wants, including drive thrus.1 friend is a size 0 and admits that if a dog was chasing her, he would gnaw her alive, since she cant run further than a few feet before she is completely winded!

    However while they all are socially accepted by society, I'm the one who suffers publicly, shunned by society.

    I've recommitted to losing weight recently, after hearing (again) the dangers about the weight around my mid-section. I *love* my legs, my arms are ok, and i have no hips, and a little butt…ok, no butt. =( LOL! So my tummy is what holds most of my weight. I hide it well, but im tired of "hiding" it. My goal is to be under 200 lbs, so I've started taking prescription diet pills to give me an edge in weight loss. Whaaat?? Diet Pills?? YES! What else is there? I dont drink pop (soda) or even juice (too much sugar), just water and milk. I dont eat candy bars, or most junk food. I try to eat 3-4 servings of fruits and veggies, and i eat mostly chicken/fish/turkey. So diet pills are whats left.


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