Home Featured Sleeping In My Bed – Three Reasons to Stay Away From Taken Women

Sleeping In My Bed – Three Reasons to Stay Away From Taken Women


If you search through the backstreets of YouTube or World Star Hip Hop, you will see video evidence of men who make horrible mistakes. One of the most common of these egregious mistakes is getting involved with a woman who has a man. This is dangerous ground that I never like to tread. As much of an ego boost as it can give a man, once you get beyond the euphoria and adrenaline, you are left with many reasons to leave that woman alone. Here are a few pitfalls of dealing with a taken lady.

How do you know there aren’t others?

It’s no secret that men think with our crotch and not our head. So when we see breasts, a**, and a million dollar smile, we have no effs to give about consequences. So what if she has a man? That’s not my problem, right? The only thing is that you can’t assume that you’re the only side joint. You cant even assume that she only has one boyfriend. My boy Kenny’s brother dealt with a woman who told him that she was involved with someone but “they were done.” You know he didn’t care. Kenny’s brother was curious and had to ask about what “done” meant. She proceeded to tell him that she was technically married but they didn’t have the money for a divorce. Yeah that was the first and last time he smashed.

Bodily harm

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In my younger days, if I had a dollar for every mission impossible escape I had to make from a young lady’s house, I’d be rich. My biggest fear is being interrupted during my long stroke yoga by some Jason Pierre Paul looking dude who wants to know why I’m defiling his women. Seriously though the “hey man I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend” excuse doesn’t always work with an enraged man, especially if it’s in his house! You can imagine the types of complications that can arise. Being badly hurt or worse by a scorned lover is not my idea of a Saturday night.

She may catch feelings

What if after all of her adulterous ways, she actually starts liking you? She may become obsessed, or do her best to convince you that this was an isolated incident and she truly loves you. What if you catch feelings too? Are you able to overlook how you two are in this situation?

I’m the last person to judge people who cheat or decide to have a mister/mistress, but I have to point out the pitfalls to the fellas. Being a player is not that glamorous when you factor in the drama that can arise. Slay those occupied loins at your own risk!

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Fellas  who are down with the Occupy Taken Pums movent: What entices you about a woman who’s involved? What are the pros/cons? Any fellas who agree with my premise, do you have any other pitfalls to add?

Ladies what do you think about this phenomenon and does this not apply to you dating taken men, or is it different ?(as always lol)



  1. Yes, thank you. You pointed out the three main issues very well. Who wants to be sucked into so much possible drama just to bust one little nut.

  2. Good points. But for some men… that taken box is so good it’s worth the risk.

    4) You could knock her up and get stuck with a booty call turn baby mama

    5) She could get mad if you stop messing with her especially if she breaks up with her man.. Then she'll be throwing a brick through your car window with a "why don’t you love me" note attached.

    1. "that taken box is so good it’s worth the risk. "

      As a man who apprecates women for the special snowflakes that they are, I am horrified (wink, wink) that you have reduced women to boxes, taken or otherwise…

      Great qoute

  3. Any woman who says “it’s different” is just plain wrong. It’s the same thing, those same risks are involved and the same hurt feelings are prevalent. It’s just not a good idea to get caught up with a person who is involved with someone else.

    Saying that, I just wanna say too that SOMETIMES it’s almost like you have to do a full blown background check on a person to figure out of s/he IS involved with someone else & (not that it maters) how deeply “involved” they may be. It’s a doggone shame the lengths we have to go thru to get a relationship started. 🙂

  4. Ladies what do you think about this phenomenon and does this not apply to you dating taken men, or is it different ?(as always lol)

    It's nothing new. And yes it applies to us WOMEN as well. The only difference is when most men find out they’re being cheated on they actually leave the woman who is playing them and wont blame the side dude for smashing (even though he will probably try to kill him if he catches them in the act lol). Too many women actually stay with the cheater and get mad at the side piece for "home wrecking" or "not respecting their relationship", like fool your man doesn’t respect your relationship why should the side piece.

  5. Men/women can make it incredibly hard to stay faithful in relationships. I think that the thrill of the chase and the "I bet I can take him/her", mentality is still prevalent. It is sad that there is still that back alley challenge mentality and let me see what I can get away with. Bottom line, you get what you pay for, work for, ask for. Cheaters give up the prize for a song…cheap dinner, cable bill, a drink and some just stiff D- and bubble gum. 🙂 No outside forces can ever destroy what two people don't want destroyed… Successful relationships require due deligence and hard work. It must be a priority to stay relevant, stop being lazy and thinking that once you are together no more work is necessary,

    That being said, cheating will never stop and the reasons are as varied as the tide. Many men and women are simply not happy and always searching. The happiness is from the inside and unfortunately never will be found outside of yourself in another person. Being a cheater (while all the perils listed previously are real considerations) causes you to lose yourself and your reason. It is a dark illusion, that when allowed to stand in the sun, burns …

  6. Sigh…

    From a young black male's prespective… Even if a woman is married, it does not matter… My question is… Is she available? (A crazy & dangerous S/O makes her unavailable) Is she interested? And the logistics where we gon' smang…

    Fellas who are down with the Occupy Taken Pums movent: What entices you about a woman who’s involved?

    Most women who are taken in ANY capacity are woman of quality. Simple. Personally, I could care less about the dude. I just hope that he knows his girl & knows when to be a man & walk on a cheating S/O… Cause I know I would.

    What are the pros/cons?

    Nothing good can come out of deceit & lies… The cons is that you can get seriously maimed or killed. And if you are the opposite of me & have serious ties to society, you can lose your job & reputation…

    Any fellas who agree with my premise, do you have any other pitfalls to add? None at the moment…

    Simple, know who the men (brothers, uncles, S/Os) in the TAKEN woman you are taking down, and you will be fine…

  7. I don’t get the mentality of men who actively pursue another man’s girl. And I mean, under no circumstances. Almost always I think it’s because someone is lying when this comes up. I don’t know about most of y’all, but it seems like women these days are slicker than the men. Men have but a few tricks to keep his relationship on the low. Women, they just will flat out not acknowledge their relationship and keep on keeping on. Not like they’ll cheat, they just keep their options open.

    For men, it’s different because you can tell a girl you have a girlfriend/wife and that will turn her on even more. Especially if all she wants is physical.

    1. Truthfully doc its easy prey. Typically shes vulnerable, unhappy and miserable. Its perfect! As a youngster that was my specialty. Didn't matter if shawty was married or had a boyfriend, i was going in! It def was an ego booster as well. To think I can have my way with another mans property was pretty amazing at that age. I wouldn't think of pursuing a married women these days but it was fun while it lasted..

      1. You know…

        Karma functions on a delay as well…

        Watch your front, back, sides…and angles, SD, LOL… Keep a look-out on the roof…

  8. Sorry, but I'm too fabulous to knowingly share a man, lol. I deserve to be…not #1…but the only one. Hmph. That's the type of commitment I offer…and that's the type of commitment I expect in return. So, best believe that if I become aware of some creeping by my s/o, that relationship is done. No explanation or discussion necessary.

  9. Did it twice when I was in college. Once was with a married woman who I didn’t know was married at first. Found out before we had sex and still had sex anyway. Felt guilty about that one for a long time. Not down with the adultery at all. Regardless of how valid her reasons were I still can’t justify that.
    Second was with an on again/off again ex girlfriend. She left her man and we started dating. We broke up and she went back to him. While with him she and I started things back up again. So while I felt like she was still mines she technically was his girl. Long story short, she left him, left me and went to this 3rd dude from her childhood that came back into her life. Her best friend cousin, now her husband.
    So my opinion……..stay far away from taken fruit. It’s not worth it. Perhaps my troubles with the ex was my penance for the married chick *shrugs* I don’t know. But even if I wasn’t married now id never do it again. Not knowingly

  10. Off topic but just had to get this out. The first time I came to this website fell in love with the topics they were edgy but not too controversial also the comment section was great reading. I still check out the website just to see the topics and it just seem to fallen off the topics are constantly about relationships they are not even great and repetitive. I know these types of topics are easy ways to attract women’s attention but that’s not even working cause the comment section have taken a plunge. Meanwhile very smart brothers are attracting alot of attention and their topics range a lot and relates to the audience.

    1. Hey CupC,

      We appreciate you're feedback. We're always trying to get better and the criticism helps. We'll most definitely keep the above in mind as we move forward.

  11. "Ladies what do you think about this phenomenon and does this not apply to you dating taken men, or is it different ?(as always lol)"

    Not only does this applies to ladies as well but I will go as far to say — the risks for us dealing with a married/taken man is higher …… 1) you now have to worry about his crazy wife/GF stalking/calling/threatening or just plain ole showing up at your house ready to stomp that azz out — 9 times outta 10 they always find out who you are 2) If dude is married with kids — you will now bear the guilt of knowing you had a helping hand in messing up those kids lives and you will forever be known as "THAT OTHER WOMEN"
    3) if for some reason you two do end up together, now YOU as the GF/Wife will always worry when that thing called Karma is coming to collect (what goes around comes around you know) thus bringing trust issues.

    1. Gotta agree, there are serious lasting hits you take on your reputation when you are a "homewrecker". Please see KimK, AliciaK, LeAnnR, etc etc etc. Now if you're a man? You become a Presidential nominee, or in some cases, the president. Please see NewtG, JohnMcC, EVERY Kennedy, etc, etc, etc.

  12. I can't. I've had a couple of opportunities with married women, and one had a husband who was always out of town. Fine as she was, I couldn't do it. It just wasn't worth it, especially being that I had other options.

    What entices you about a woman who’s involved?

    In general, no desire for anything permanent makes it inticing. You know she only wants $ex, you don't need to go on a bunch of dates and be seen around town, and typically there are no attachment issues. It's no-strings attached $ex.

  13. Ladies what do you think about this phenomenon and does this not apply to you dating taken men, or is it different ?(as always lol)

    lol. Those aren't my main reasons for not being involved with someone who's taken:

    1) One other is already too much for me. I want to be the sole recipient of your affection and everything else.
    2) I've never actually given this much thought, although a woman in a jealous rage can certainly be a frightful scene.
    3) I don't fancy the idea of sharing myself with someone with no feelings involved.

    I simply base my decisions on the fact that I would appreciate someone else respecting my relationship, and cheating is just plain wrong. When I was younger and still new to getting attention, I was secretly delighted when men who were taken would glance my way and/or make advances. Now, I shake my head sadly, because their women are none the wiser. The line gets blurred when we're talking about exes, but I still make it a point to draw that line and encourage them to look out for the best interests of their relationships.

    One thing I always keep in mind and of which I remind others is that if he/she does it with you, he/she is much more likely to do it to you with someone else. I favour trusting my partner, and getting involved in a mucky situation would not bode well for our future. Since I would essentially like a future with anyone I'm dealing with, that renders it a less than ideal situation.

  14. I've only been "the other woman" once in my life, and it was not an enjoyable experience. I was unaware of my status, thought I was "the woman". OPP is not the way for me. I want my dude to be mine, his (romantic/sexual) attentions focused on me only. I don't share well.

  15. Nah, it’s too much risk involved and the rewards are nonexistent. If a dude’s ego gets inflated off of violating another relationship or being “Mr. Steal your girl”, he has some serious self esteem issues. Think about it, in order for you to feel good, you have to make somebody else feel like a sucka? I’m just not too keen on that logic.

    With that being said, the risks of getting hurt or shot increase dramatically because men don’t like to be made to look stupid, and violating his woman is near the top of the list. It isn’t worth trying to be a woman’s rebound, because some won’t leave their man without having another one already. I know ego matters, but mine won’t let me be the guy on the side though.

  16. I think sh*tty Karma shouda been a top three reason. IMO it coulda replaced reason number one, which really doesn't make much sense . I mean, if you're the kinda person that's OK with a woman being unfaithful to her man with you. Then chances are you're not too worried about her being unfaithful to both her men with you. IJS, the difference between unfaithful and super-unfaithful is negligible at best.
    My recent post 7 Time Tested Techniques for Getting Rid of Him NOW

  17. Usually both male and female "Cheaters" wind up suffering from an ailment I call "OPP Paranoia". I define this as the state or condition of ALWAYS thinking that "your" lover is cheating on YOU after you have already cheated on them first!

    A lot of times, what you catch after the thrill of chasing people who are already taken is just an overdose of conscious and/or unconscious GUILTY FEELINGS.

    ~ Victory Unlimited
    My recent post The Walking Dead: Why You Have to Stop Letting Your Life Pass You By!

  18. The selfish side of me could not do this. I don't like the thought of sharing with anyone and I know there is always the possibility if catching feelings so I just avoid putting myself in that kind of situation altogether.
    My recent post MPAD – Window


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