Courtesy of @MikaFlyyMommy

I got into a pretty good discussion last night about the incredibly trompe l’oeil life, career, and music of one Aubrey “Drake” Graham. Let me be clear, I enjoy his music here and there, but there’s just something about Drizzy that’s off. There’s something about him and his entire image that tends to offend my real n**** sensibilities. In last night’s conversation I couldn’t properly put into words what exactly that is, so, I’ve created a a lil’ list. Ready? Here it is:

5. He’s Down With YMCMB

YOLO!

If you took mid 90’s Wu-Tang, stripped down the depth, lyrical, conceptual and artistic versatility and general awesomeness while adding in way too much “swag” – you’d get something that resembles YMCMB. YMCMB is basically Lil’ Wayne and Baby’s version of what Mase envisioned when he created “Harlem World”

4. Lyrics Like This:

“So I’m going through her phone on the way to the bathroom, in her purse right there, I don’t trust these hoe’s at all”

No real dude goes snooping through a woman’s purse while she’s in the bathroom. We also don’t go through their phones. If you can’t trust a woman you’re dealing with enough to not need to resort to such childish tactics, you shouldn’t be dealing with her. And if she’s a “hoe” as Drizzy describes or someone you’re not really in a position to trust, you should be trill enough to not allow her access to anything that could be potentially damaging to you – as crass as that sounds.

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3. Photos like this:

Men should not purse their lips when taking photos...

2. Degrassi Drake

"They say they miss the old Drake girl don't tempt me..."

Look, y’all know I’m generally cut from the “can’t knock the hustle” cloth, so I try my best to avoid being critical of how a dude earns his living, so long as it doesn’t interfere with anyone else earning there’s. Still, there’s just something egregiously wrong about the fact that Wheelchair Jimmy has the nerve to rap stuff like “You gone mess around and make me catch a body like that.” Really? A body? Like, a murder?

 

 

1. This Description of His Mansion:

The backyard of Drake’s mansion is indistinguishable from the set of one of those late-night Lifetime soft-core romance flicks. Waterfalls gush all around, surging over enormous boulders. Bronze animals—lions, elephants, giraffes!—checker the lawn, glimmering in the last light of the San Fernando Valley sun. A giant fire, fit for a king from Middle-earth, burns in an outdoor fireplace, and a flat-screen TV plays Sixteen Candles.

Sixteen Candles? SIXTEEN CANDLES! You can’t make this stuff up. If this is the future of Hip-Hop, I’m afraid of the future.
But maybe it’s just me? What do you all think of Drake? Love him? Hate him? Indifferent. Also, do you think his success says anything about the direction of Hip-Hop or is he just another blip on the radar?

Email: Mr.Spradley@singleblackmale.org