Barbershop Fridays at SBM: 25 Ways Men and Women Get Out Of Dates
For a lot of Black men, on Fridays we head straight to the barber to get a cut after work. We shoot the breeze with the homies before heading out. That’s what Friday’s on the site will be like going forward. Of course it wouldn’t be right if we didn’t have music, so that’s Carver’s territory, and he’ll keep #FistPumpFridays going every week. This week in the Barbershop, we’re talking about how to get out of a date when you want to go chill with your friends (or you really just don’t want to see that person that night).
Here are the scenarios: 1. I’ve been busy all week, and promised “baby” that we would have Friday night to ourselves; quality one-on-one time with no distractions. 2. I’ve been trying to get at this shorty that works in my building for about a month, she finally granted me a date on Friday. 3. I’ve been seeing a young lady for about three weeks and we have plans on Friday, but I already know this relationship is going nowhere.
Conflict: Two of my boys are coming into town, and cats are talking Park tonight; The Guy tells me there’s going to be a ton of “tings” there. In addition to all that, we got a table. All real men in attendance know: “We got a table,” and “tons of tings,” changes everything.
So we came up with a list of ways men AND women get out of the date.
- Bring your family into it. You can’t come between somebody and they momma.
- “See the way my bank account is set up…” Just tell her your direct deposit hasn’t come in, and do not accept her offer to pay.
- Bring her friends into it. “Baby you ain’t hung out with your girls in a while and they always hitting you up, you should do that tonight.”
- Blame it on an organization. That’s one thing about being Greek or any Black organization; we can always find a reason to have a mandatory meeting.
- Say you’re not feeling well, and you don’t know what it is. [This is the female equivalent of the Jordan fadeaway.]
- Don’t talk to them for a few days and then tell them later, “Since you never mentioned it, I thought you forgot or made other plans.”
- Say your car broke down. If she offers to drive, say you have to get it fixed and you need to save money. If she offers to pay, just say you’re not in the mood.
- Bring your team into it. “Babe, I can’t. The Lakers play at 7:30.” #StuffLakersFansSay
- One of your friends just got dumped, and you’re going to spend some time with them.
- Be the ultimate naysayer. Respond to every idea with a vote of disapproval, “I am a picky eater.” “No, I hate movies, prefer Netflix.” “I don’t let people come over my house on the first date.” “Dave & Buster’s is too much work.”
- Start an argument. Call her “crazy,” instant argument. If she says, “I know,” run like hell.
- Dump them for the weekend, get back together on Monday.
- Tell him you got to get your hair “did.” Or, you planned on washing it tonight.
- Just don’t reply to their messages. Never hesitate to let a BBM remain on “D.”
- Bring your pet into it. “You asked a friend to watch your dog, but he has to be walked every 4 hours and they can’t do it anymore.”
- Women have perfected this one. Go to sleep. Wait until the expected date time and text, “My bad J, I fell asleep.”
- Create a Waiting to Exhale moment, or a Brothers basketball game. “I forgot this was the Friday that we were all getting together. I can’t be the only one not there.”
- Tell them you’re a virgin.
- Have a friend call you twenty minutes into a date with an emergency.
- Don’t show up.
- Forget to take off your wedding ring.
- Convert to Seventh Adventist for the week. Happy Sabbath.
- Change your FB status to “what is your favorite way to cancel on a date?”
- Pull out some drugs. Hardcore stuff too, something that’ll ruin your life like Lindsay Lohan
- Show up drunk.
Here’s the thing, when men think “relationship,” they hear “companionship.” When women think “relationship,” they hear “ownership.” No matter what you think, your girlfriend owns that Friday. Understand that a woman doesn’t want to be your only priority; she wants to be your first priority. As men, we probably will always struggle with this and never grasp it the way our women wish we would.
On the flipside, we understand that most men don’t deal well with rejection. Women will say “yes” to a date just to get a man to shut up, later on, they remember they really aren’t interested at all. And yes, there are those women who wish their man would get some friends and not be up under them all the time. (They say we don’t ever do this on the site, but…) Men, your girlfriend is your girlfriend, not a coupon. Stop using your girlfriend to save money. While you’re thinking this is a great night at home with a rented DVD, she’s rolling her eyes and thinking about that table.
Question is, what are you doing tonight?
Tracklist: 1. The-Dream: ROC, 2. J. Cole: Nobody’s Perfect f/ Missy Elliott, 3. Usher: Climax, 4. Adele: Rolling In The Deep (Dubstep Remix), 5. Jay-Z: N*gga What, N*gga Who, 6. Jay-Z: Big Pimpin, 7. J. Cole: Can’t Get Enough, 8. Jay-Z: Is That Yo B*tch f/ Missy, Twista, Memphis Bleek, 9. Rick Ross: Is That Yo B*tch, 10. Mary J. Blige: Mr. Wrong f/ Drake