I was going through tweets and noticed someone had sent me one of those “showing love” graphics like people used to send during the bubonic myspace era. Didn’t even know that was possible on Twitter. But yep, it is. So I typed “just got the pic you sent me. thanks.” And it was then that I had a moment of clarity and deleted the message.
Why? Because the tweets have eyes. And eyes are connected to a head, that’s connected to a body, that’s connected to arms, that are connected to hands, that are connected to gchat and smart phones. Had I replied to that message publicly, I would’ve had a blinking box and some splainin’ to do. No man — whether innocent or guilty — wants that. It’s wack sauce. Crap buckets. Abominable escargot. Hurricane Lame.
You may be wondering “What’s the big deal?” My answer: If you dabble in the internets, you’ve probably been there. You do something innocuous and next thing you know you’ve caught a case of the Splain Flu. Or worse, you incur someone’s wrath without a genuine clue as to what you’ve done wrong (Typical response: Men always know when they’re doing something wrong). Even if you can splain it, you don’t wanna have to splain it simply because someone is telling you to. But wait, there’s more.
With everybody living such public lives during the era of hypersensitivity, it doesn’t take much to raise someone’s eyebrow and end up being the recipient of a “So who’s the broad on instagram?” or a “Why you sending cats smiley faces?” text. Basically, “you’ve got some splainin’ to do!”
Think about it though.
How often do you read or hear about a relationship ending behind some foolery that went down on or indirectly involved social media?
Enough to blur the lines between objectivity, insecurity, and stupidity. Nobody wants to be insecure. But if they look at things objectively, they may see that there’s nothing there. But if they don’t see anything there then find out there was, they risk looking stupid. Nobody wants to look stupid with everybody watching. But wait, there’s still more.
As we’ve all become more public, we’ve become more coded — for our own good and that of the special people in our lives. Well, some of us at least. I can’t speak for Booty Shot Betty and her army of subpar minions — pursin’ their lips and gyrating their pixels.
Not too long ago, there weren’t all these online rules that you had to consider if you were involved with someone. It wasn’t even a conversation people had to have. There was no such thing as a Facebook update costing you a date or rousing the insecurities of your lover. But now, whether you’re involved or not, you have to pay attention to everything you “say” and do because the road to hell is paved with tweets (or your service of choice) and nosiness.
Granted, if you’ve created an alter ego to allow you to express your most electronic desires, this may not be an issue for you. Life is gravy. Things are good. You’re winning where it counts. I’m not judging you. **Side-eye wanders left**
The easy answers for avoiding these unnecessary quagmires? For some, it’s heading to direct/private messages since nobody can say anything about what they can’t see. Deceptive it may be, but silly fight it may preclude. Doesn’t even mean it was a sketchy chat. Could just be an easily misinterpreted public chat.
For others, it’s dropping off the online map completely so they can focus on building something special with the one their (aspiring to be) with.
**Looks at everybody that’s ever gotten in a relationship then dropped off social media and blogs to indulge in their real life real time bliss.**
For those of us that have learned through trial and error, it’s about trust and communication. That’s at the basis of everything. But when you’re continuously navigating an ever-changing landscape, you sometimes end up back at square one relearning the rules.
Whatever the case, I miss not having to worry about how a simple “public” exchange might lead to splainin’. I miss not having to talk about avatars and where people might really wanna put their likes. I miss the simplicity of not having to think delete. But it’s part of the life I live. So I’ll keep on learning, reflecting, and telling yall about it.
By the way, f**k you Zuckerberg. You and your blue bird friend too! You’ve made the world smaller and created headaches that never used to exist. I’d wave my fist at you some more, but I can’t. You know why? Because I’ve got some splainin’ to do!
SBM Fam, do you think social media has had an impact on the way you date or interact within your relationships? Has it led to more questions? More insecurity? More arguments? If you don’t think anything has changed for you, why do you think you’ve been able to avoid the extra discussions (splainin’)? Is one sex more responsible for the online skepticism than the other? All other thoughts are welcome!
The world is your keypad,
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