The Weekly ‘You Need to Chill’ Awards: Kim K., Kanye, Beyonce, Women Who Snoop and more
The purpose of this post is to tie up some loose ends and also appease those of you who comment, send emails, or tweet me and say, “How come you don’t write articles anymore?” That’s actually not true. I write a lot of articles. I just don’t post them.
The other thing that I get almost all the time is how people miss the Morning Mail on The Book of Jackson. The Book of Jackson is officially closed for business, it’s still there and you can read it, but I don’t post there anymore. With that said, I decided to do a post of what I like to call, You Need to Chill.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
Kimmy is lying. We all know that Ye had a piece of that cake. Forget about Kim. Does Ye actually get off on knowing that someone either has been with or wants to be with his lady? That’s weird. That’s like a weird Weeknd type of turn-on. I’m not sure about that one, Ye. “I admit I fell in love with Kim, ‘Round the same time she fell in love with him.” You need to chill.
Most women who admit to snooping don’t think there’s anything wrong with snooping. It’s like they feel they have the right to snoop. What’s worse is that they then claim what they find can be used against the dude. I’m sorry, I believe in the 4th Amendment which protects me from illegal searches and seizures. All evidence seized is inadmissible. They’ll tell you, “sometimes I find something, sometimes I don’t.” This isn’t a fishing trip, this is my privacy. You need to chill.
Paying on the first date
Streetz is right, most men always want to pay on the first date. There’s one exception to the rule; if she makes more money than you. I’m a very traditional man, and I believe in paying on the first date. Matter of fact, I believe in paying just about all the time. However, if I’m sitting across the table from a young lady who says, “I’m in my third year at Kirkland & Ellis” … we splitting that tab. Nothing worse than a girl throwing $2-3K into her savings account every month and you texting #BAL to Bank of America everytime you go on a date. You need to chill.
Marion Barry tripping y’all…
Marion Barry said, “We’ve got to do something about these Asians coming in, opening up businesses, those dirty shops,” he said when outlining his vision for Ward 8. “They ought to go. I’ll just say that right now, you know. But we need African American businesspeople to be able to take their places, too.”
Bad move Barry.
Better move: We’ve got to do something about these Asian-American businesses coming into our community and their lack of community engagement. We cannot let a group of people exploit cheap real estate and not give back to the community they operate within. Asian-Americans aren’t the only ones guilty of this, but when you’re in our hood, you’re throwing it in our face.
I feel you Barry, but you can’t call Asian shops, “dirty.” You need to chill.
Beyonce Runs The World!
Beyonce has 4 million followers on Twitter in one day. Jesus doesn’t have that many followers. Women didn’t go out last night because they stayed in to have a Beyonce Tumblr watching party. Who runs the world? Bey. On behalf of Rihanna (Hi Rihanna!) … You need to chill.
The Paradox of being The Last Man Standing
A close friend of mine got engaged recently. I looked to my left and I looked to my right and I thought, “Am I going to be the last one left?” I won’t, but I might be. I won’t because I have a friend who almost certainly will not get married. I might because I’ll be the last to get married since it’s something I really want to do. I had an epiphany though, if you plan on getting married, do it as quickly as possible. Think about it, if I wait until I’m the last one left, my wedding will suck. Everyone will have mortgages and children, my bachelor party and gifts will suck. I need to hurry up and get married. Enn… I need to chill.
Have a Good Friday. Be safe this weekend. Feel free to add any of your thoughts on these or anything that you noticed that needs chilling below.
Mercy >>>>> Theraflu