For a long time, I’ve always played the character that Black men play very well. It’s a good way to end up left, dead in the first 45 minutes of a serious situation, or in jail without bail money. That’s right, I’ve played the token Black guy in a lot of movies (yep, my life is a movie). To be honest, that never surprises anyone. I just like hanging out with different people and doing different things (mainly things like beer pong and flip cup; Black people think those games are just disgusting from a germ standpoint).
We are live today with a fresh mix from Carver The Great, this one is called, Sarah Palin. The tracklist is below, this mix is dedicated to those of the other persuasion, check it out. Download here, or stream below:
Anyway, as much as it looks sort of awkward when you see one Black guy in a crowd of white people, it’s much more awkward the other way around. No, I’m not talking about a group of Black men and a white girl (get your mind out the gutter). I’m talking about a group of Black people and a white girl. Eminem made it cool for white men to be in the group; white women, we’re still on edge. I always wonder how those girls get accepted into the crew. I imagine it looks like an old episode of Law & Order, with Green and Lenny interrogating the hell out of her. But in all honesty, Black people just want to know that you are “down.”
Yeah, I don’t know what “down” means either. Actually, I know what it means; I can’t define it. This week, I jotted down some questions that you need to ask before you let that white girl in the crew.
- Full Name
- Origin (When your peoples were in Europe, where did they stay at?)
- Measurements (The fellas just want to know the third number, you ain’t got to tell all your business.)
- What do you season your chicken with?
- Do you like Boys II Men or Jeezy?
- What type of jeans are those?
- The cops show up, what do you do?
- – Tell them you have the situation under control.
- – Run like hell in the opposite direction of the negroes.
- – Run like hell in the same direction of the negroes, stopping only to throw a sweater over the barb wire fence.
- – Nothing. Take the charge, your parents will bail you out in 45 minutes.
- – You don’t.
- – When they turn it off? (1x can be the death of a gangsta.)
- – On the 16th of the month like everybody else.
- — Who is everybody else?
- – Rhetorical question.
- – “Mixed”? Black people can’t have nothing, huh? Fine, then we’ll take Bill Clinton as being the first Black president. He was half-Black and grew up poor.
- – Skip over it without showing it any attention.
- – Tell a long story about why you hate the word, but need to say it to finish the story.
- – Just let it rip.
- – Politely say, “This says the n-word here” as to make it clear that you were not saying it, they were.
- – 7:45
- – 8:00
- – 9:30
- – That ain’t got nothing to do with anything, we just want to know if it means sex or not.
- – Fresh out of “potential murderer friend” spots.
It’s just jokes people; please don’t call me a racist. Of course each of these won’t apply to everybody. I’m sure the white people you like to consider “down,” can get each of these questions right. But if you think for one moment that there aren’t some people out there who can’t get this right, think again. I asked Black folks these questions and some of them still got them wrong. Anyway, thank God it’s Friday, enjoy your weekend, I’m out.
Tracklist: 1. Amber Don’t F*ck Up! by Tony Roberts, 2. My World by Iggy Azalea, 3. Katy On A Mission by Katy B, 4. Rolling In The Deep by Adele, 5. I Think She Ready by Iggy Azalea & FKi, 6. Gucci Gucci by Kreayshawn, 7. E.T. by Katy Perry & Kanye West, 8. White Girl by Young Jeezy, 9. Woohoo by Christina Aguilera & Nicki Minaj, 10. Murda Bizness by Iggy Azalea & T.I., 11. Sh*t White Girls Say To Their Black Boyfriends…