Home Advice Typical Mistakes All Men Make In Dating: Part I

Typical Mistakes All Men Make In Dating: Part I

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"I don't know, I just don't see the problem with using a LivingSocial coupon on a date."

Let a man tell it and he’s never lost in love. He’s always been in control and never once experienced heartache. I have friends who say they’ve never been dumped. The problem with that line of thinking is it doesn’t account for all the women who just outright rejected them. I’ll admit, it hasn’t always been safe landings, sunny days and moments of legendary greatness for me. There have been times when I’ve been angry, upset, hurt or disheveled so much that I had to sit back and laugh. In this two-part series, I’m going to tell six stories about mistakes I’ve made in my past. These are the first three. I hope you’ll enjoy.

February 14th, 1992

There’s a few things that I remember about 4th grade: I finally found a sport I was good at; I would always have to avoid Cassandra for the rest of my life; and I finally got to sit at a table with a pretty girl. At the beginning of 4th grade, I noticed that no matter how much I grew over the summer, Cassandra always grew an inch or two more. All that didn’t matter much– what mattered the most was that I was sitting at the classroom table with Latondra, the fourth prettiest girl in school. Latondra was pretty and I liked her. She had pretty brown eyes, hoop earrings with her name in gold and not too many scars. She had a small scar above her lip because she mistook the slides for a water fountain one day during a game of tag. However, it wasn’t her looks that attracted me to her. I liked Latondra because she talked to me. In 4th grade talking to a boy was enough for him to develop an obsession.

There were four people sitting at our table: Kiana, Latondra, Robert and myself. The only reason I remember Kiana and Robert is because Kiana showed me at an early age that society typically chooses complexion over beauty. I remember Robert because he was the only person in school shorter than me. I was trying to be suave and planned on doing something special for Latondra on Valentine’s Day. I wasn’t just going to get the candy with the names on it; I was going to surprise her with something romantic. I got her flowers, drew her a picture, gave her a pack of gushers and a card that I handwrote. On Valentine’s I walked into class with my gifts all in a Safeway grocery bag and placed them on her desk. The whole class looked at me and I look at Latondra and said, “Would you be my Valentine?” She had this stunned look on her face. Our teacher, Ms. Taylor looked at us and said, “Aww… that’s so sweet.” My entire class busted out laughing. The worst part, so did Latondra.

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Lesson Learned: Stop simping.

The Flower Fiasco

I had this strategy of getting first dates with women. I would give my phone to women when I met them. Just straight up give the phone to them and walk away. Why? If she had my phone, then we’d have to meet up later for me to get it back. Her friends read this blog, so I’m going to call her, Courtney. I met Courtney at a club in NYC. I was enamored. We had been talking for most of the night and my boy wanted to leave. So I asked her, “Would you mind if I got your number?” She replied, “Sure, why not?” I handed her my phone and said, “Do you know how to use one of these?” As soon as she started to type in her number, I left the club. Two hours later a mutual friend calls my boy while we’re at an afterhours spot and told him that Courtney had my phone. We arranged to meet for brunch to exchange the phone. Yahtzee! 

After brunch and retrieving my phone, I decided to do something nice for her. I decided I’d get her flowers–roses, three dozen in total. I had them delivered to her at work. One problem: she works in a hospital. Regardless, I had faith in the power of modern medicine that if the flowers were delivered to the hospital, they’d be able to find one of their own employees. I got a confirmation that the flowers were delivered, but heard nothing from her. I asked a mutual friend, “Hey, did she get any flowers?” Her friend told me she hadn’t received anything. After talking to the florist and the hospital, we agreed that it would be more helpful to deliver them to her area of the hospital. Second problem: she works nights and the florist doesn’t. Again, I had faith that they’d be able to figure it out; they didn’t. Finally, I had to tell her that I sent the flowers, so we could try and find six dozen roses that were floating around her hospital. She told me that she really shouldn’t be the one to find them. I still don’t agree with that part, but then she said, “Why not just send them to my house?” Albeit five days after the original delivery, I did that and she got them. Her text to me, “I got the flowers, thanks!” I thought she could have reacted differently after all the trouble I went through getting her the flowers. She thought that the process of her receiving flowers was too arduous and overshadowed the nice gesture.

See Also:  Yes ... I have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Lesson Learned: Don’t buy anyone flowers other than your mother.

The Kennedy Center

I love the Arts. It’s been a love of mine since I was young. When I really like a woman, I try and gauge her love for the Arts, too. Here in DC you have a lot of options, you can typically catch free shows at our museums and parks. If you really want to impress a girl, you’ll take her to the Kennedy Center. The Kennedy Center means you have to dress up, have a nice dinner, and get your “grown man” on for a few hours. I was seeing this young lady and in an attempt to impress her after we had been on a few dates, I decided to take her to the Kennedy Center. If you take a girl to the Kennedy Center, she had better be special. It’s going to run you at least $200 for the date without alcohol. After the Kennedy Center, I was kind of feeling myself, the situation and where things were going. I was respectful, never pressing the issue of sex or commitment. I just took my time and thought that by being a gentleman it would pay off in the end.

A few more weeks went by and it was her birthday. I had to make the decision to attend or decline. If you’re not in a relationship with a woman, attending her birthday party is a big risk. You can either end up being the focal point of her night, or insignificant. I chose to go; we hung out and had a good time. Drinks were poured and the night was about to come to a close when I had the option of taking things a little further that night. I declined for a few reasons: 1) She had been drinking and I didn’t want the first time to be under the influence; 2) I was still trying to show her that I was a gentleman; and 3) I wanted to hold out as long as possible to increase her interest. I know #3 seems like a bad idea, but … actually nevermind, I’ve already said too much.

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It seemed like a good idea, but it was her birthday; she was going to have a good night if she wanted. It felt as though I walked away for a moment to talk to some friends, when another guy swooped in. She ended up spending the remainder of the night talking to him and a few weeks later she would be dating him. My boys asked me what happened and all I could come up with was, “I took that girl to the Kennedy Center, man.” 

Lesson Learned: No really, stop simping. 

It’s true, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. That’s how I felt in each of these situations. The main point I want to drive home to all of you today is that failure and rejection are a part of the game. I like to sit back and tell these stories when I’m in the barbershop or just kicking it with the guys. Please don’t take this to mean I spent a lot of time in the past losing. As Jamie Foxx would say, “Don’t test my pickle.” Trust, the game’s been good to me ever since I was a lowercase G, but now I’m a big G. I can share all this with you because I’ve learned my lesson. Next week, I have three more stories for you guys. Until then, enjoy your Friday. Be safe, I’m out.

– Dr. J

It’s 4/20. Trippy Mane. Carver The Great put together a great Smoke Break mix today, check it out. Right click and download it here, or stream below. Get your Rihanna on…

Tracklist: 1. Mary 3x by Wiz Khalifa, 2. Marijuana by Kid Cudi, 3. Smoke & Ride by Le$, 4. Party Life by Jay-Z, 5. Bill Gates by Lil Wayne, 6. I Like by Young Swift & Young Jeezy, 7. Amazin’ by Young Jeezy, 8. The Zone by The Weeknd & Drake, 9. Takin’ It There by Young Jeezy & Trey Songz, 10. Take It To The Head by Chris Brown, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj, & Lil Wayne

Comment(94)

  1. The problem with that line of thinking is it doesn’t account for all the women who just outright rejected them.

    Being dumped and being rejected at the outset are two different things, though.

    Awww @ the 4th grade story. That really was sweet. Sucks that they were asses about it. That in and of itself wasn't simping. lol @ the phone strategy. I would've found it rude of dude to just leave like that. I know (think?) the post is partially tongue-in-cheek, but I found the conclusions to be erroneous. #1 Just wasn't that into you; #2 Was right, the "wahala," as my people would call it, was a bit much…it would've probably been different if she'd received them the first time around; #3 Could just have been that he made his intentions clearer, re: dating. If two guys piqued my interest and only one asked me to commit, the other would take the L. However, I appreciate the gentlemanly and sweet behaviour that you displayed.

        1. *stands on tippy toes and stretches both hands all the way in the air* Hollaaaaa! lol, I'm such a loser. I actually did alla that.

  2. Sorry but, I can't co-sign this post. THIS is the very reason why women can't find anyone decent and have no hope of ever being romanced from black men in this day in age! Men feel as though they should make ABSOLUTELY NO EFFORT in SHOWING that they care for a woman! Buying flowers is considered simping aka showing that you're feelin a woman! My God, no wonder why I can't find a man! AND I refuse to settle!

    1. Considering he bought her flowers on three separate occasions, I'd agree with the man. Flowers are NOT cheap…At all…

    2. A dozen roses go for about $50. If you got it…. I've done it once but didn't get the results I wanted. Never again unless I am already in it.

        1. She seemed to be saying that she doesn't understand why some men choose to see making the effort in courting to be the problem and not the women they chose to court. That's just my interpretation.

        2. Actually, most men don't stop courting because of experiences like these. They stop courting because they see lesser men obtain the things they want without courting.

        3. I guess that's the grown-up version of the peer pressure that caused your fourth grade sweetheart to laugh when she really found your gesture sweet. Men shouldn't let lesser men convince them to stoop to their level.

        4. Are they that lesser of a man if they're "winning"? If so then what does that say about some women's standards? *strokes chin*….hmm, interesting, interesting indeed.

      1. Maybe she is assuming that you have literally lived by your stated "Lesson Leaned" in these situations. Meaning that from that point on, you are no longer "simping" and no longer plan to buy women flowers. Kinda like a, since this was a fail, I know not to do that isht again.

        But I'm pretty sure that's not the case and you still show women you like that you actually do like them, especially if it means continuing to be a gentleman or even sending them flowers. …at least I hope so lol

  3. I can relate to the 4th grade story. Dark skin didn't come back till the late 90's haha. I've learned that women are fickle creatures. If I don't have the IOI(indication of interest), I trend lightly if I even try to dive in at all. Most of the time it isn't worth it.

  4. Typical Mistakes All Men Make In Dating…chicks that aren’t into them.

    or

    Typical Mistakes All Men Make In Dating….chicks they don’t know very well.

    or

    Typical Mistakes All Men Make In Dating…when they are more concerned with “winning”

    …whatever that means.

    Flowers, concerts, and other pricey investments aren’t always impressive for some chicks, and can even be turn offs. Money doesn’t buy love or even interest if you weren’t that into dude in the first place. How do you know she even likes flowers? Could be allergic, could not be a flower person. The flower situation seemed super creepy to me. All that after one date?

    How do you know she would appreciate a concert at the Kennedy Center? What does that even mean? Was it Jazz? Classical? Opera?

    This reads strangely, like dudes think they should be rewarded with devotion or whatever else for expensive dates and grand gestures. It’s not about that for a lot of chicks. Especially relationship minded ones. For the RIGHT one, a thoughtful $20 or even free date would net more than a $200 one. It’s about really getting to know the person and spending time with them…it all starts in the MIND…even seduction does if all you really want is to have sex with her. Talk about real stuff, spend time with her…a walk in the park with ice cream. Talking all night and watching the sunrise together. Going bowling, go kart racing, putt putt…all cheap dates. All opportunities to talk and spend time.

    1. I strongly disagree. My intent was to share some lighthearted stories about my dating history. You can't read three situations with three different women and sum that to be the meaning of what i'm about. These are really independent events.

      1. lol that was a slick defense move doc but Lyric definitely didn't come at your head or try to sum you up. Rather, she just made a point of disagreeing with your logic in these situations and what you learned from those mistakes.

        If you look at the actual point of her post, shes spot on. The real takeaways from these situations are that "trying to impress a girl" with this amount of flowers or that fancy event isn't always the best move. As a dude who's won and lost in the game, I'd rather take the approach of trying to work a woman's mind one simple date at a time (building interest in between dates is where you really win but that's another story)…everything else will follow once you have her mind and you cant say you lost much along the way if things take a turn for the worst.

        I think a man grows not from his wins or losses but by what he learns in his losses to help him build future victories. That being said, your conclusions sound more like in the moment reactions than true lessons learned to pass down as wisdom. I definitely appreciate the discussion potential though

  5. Dang all of that stuff was sweet. I wish somebody would've done that for me in fourth grade! That would've been hard for anybody to outdo for the rest of life. You just picked the wrong chicks to do all of these things for.

    1. That's what the whole goal Krystl! I was like, "I'm going to make the game hard for dudes for the rest of her life." Unfortunately it didn't work. No shots at her though. Because in all reality, she told me that she really thought that was the nicest thing a guy has ever done for her. It was just that peer pressure is a bitch.

      1. The fourth grade story…..yall were 9 yr old kids…wth u expect????
        The flowers….I personally think that chick was kinda selfish for not being more appreciative.
        I mean u did seem to go thru a lotta trouble and spend serious money just to get her some flowers.
        I would've mailed you a thank you card and some flowers back and sent you an invite to my house for dinner. I would've told you at dinner, u know that address on the card and invitation, just send any gifts or flowers there next time handsome." I believe that if someone goes out of their way for you just because they are feeling you the least u can do is make them feel like it was worth it. jmo

    2. Right? When I was in 7th grade this little boy named Devon waited for my chorus class to let out so he could say "hi" to me. I get out of class, he says "hi". As I'm walking away he says really loudly: DAAAAAAAMN TEF YOU SURE GOT A LOT OF JUNK IN YOUR TRUNK!" Everybody (and I do mean everybody) fell out laughing. I tried to kill that little boy but he was just too fast, I wanted to ring his neck so bad I risked getting caught by a teacher and still couldn't catch that big mouth fool. He shoulda just said it with some flowers, lol.

      1. LOL! A boy said something like that to me in sixth grade. I was like huh? Everybody else laughed but I had no clue what it meant. *shakes head at self*
        If Dr. J would've done that for me in 4th grade, he'd have found himself with me as a stalker.

    1. I would like to hear from the ladies about the Kennedy Center situation and the overall thoughts of being a gentleman. Did he approach the situation correctly or incorrectly?

      1. i would have smashed after her birthday party. if she was down and seemed coherent damned if she's had something to drink its not like i was a stranger. i'd been courting her and she seemed like she was going so i would have WENT.
        My recent post Take Me Back to 1953

        1. This has got to be the funniest comment ever. Next week, i'm going to really tell a story that's going to make y'all judge me. But, "I would have smashed after her birthday party" is hilarious.

      2. I think it was a lovely gesture…but too much too soon.

        You don't do that kind of thing till you know, without a shadow of doubt, that the woman belongs to you. You can be a gentleman…and stay within a $100 budget. You may need to be creative…but its the safer approach.

        1. I think it differs for every man. It's all about the value of the dollar. I'm telling y'all a lot of this goes back to "how can you spend $1k on bottles on Friday but then take me to Legal Sea Foods." Plus… man I don't think y'all live in DC. We was just talking yesterday about how a date out here can easily run you like $160 without blinking.

  6. This whole post makes me wanna buy you a drink, pinch your cheeks and introduce you to one of my loose moraled friends. It's a hard knock life sometimes, lol.

    1. I got stronger after Ether, Tef!

      You live and you learn. Roll the sleeves up, what didn't work once, might work the next time. I always try and remember that. Can't try something once and then completely abandon it. It's worked more than it hasn't.

  7. son, i really laughed at the first story but that was me. i used to be a super duper simp. there was this girl i had a crush on from the fifth grade to the eighth grade. i loved this chick man. everyone knew. she knew it. even when she had a boyfriend i was still simping for this girl. one day in the eighth grade she embarrassed me in front of our whole class. she said something like "you don't make enough money to be my boyfriend." all you heard was "ohhhhhssss" and laughs. it wasn't like her boyfriend at the time was holding down a job at the time. we were kids yet that comment still cut to the core of me.

    i kind of agree with the lesson in story number 2. one of my exes loved flowers. from the time i courted her through most of our relationship i bought her flowers. every friday. well lets say about 85% of the fridays we were together. and that was for about a year and a half. do you know how much money that is? even tho a lot of the flowers were store bought. i remember i didn't buy her flowers like 3 fridays in a row. she had the nerve to get mad. ungratefulness at its finest. there are chicks out here that have NEVER gotten flowers. smh
    My recent post Take Me Back to 1953

    1. My dad always told me, "be careful not to make your exceptions expectations." That was when my mother was around, when she wasn't, "You have to manage the expect-sh*t factor!"

    2. mad don't u remember the "rule" whatever you start doing you must maintain and continue to do it forever and ever Amen……

        1. see i know no one will remain the same..its impossible…in the back of my mind i know fa sho shawty will change…the deciding factor is if I can roll with those changes..thats typically the "can i keep this chick around long term" test for me…

        1. Am I dyslexic? I read that the proper way and had to do a triple take before I realized how you spelt it, lol

  8. I am not a V-day girl, nor am I a fan of CUT flowers (something about giving me a dying plant as a symbol of undying emotion seems strange to me-just gimme a potted plant!)… however, NO man will know this, as my sheer gratitude for the gesture will be all he sees. There is just no need to get into that until we know each other better.
    However, I also kinda don't expect huge overtures UNTIL we know each other better. Till then, I prefer dates in the park. After all, I'm just getting to know you.
    Another note-Never, in my entire life, has a man taken me to Lincoln Center. The game hates me.

  9. Story #1 : Anything that happens before you grow your first facial hair should be considered null and void. You and your classmate barely hit puberty at the time.

    Story #2 : I can see the woman's point. She shouldn't have to chase down a gift that you sent. Seems fickle, but it's true.

    Story #3: I wouldn't consider this simping at all. Men should be careful to confuse simping with being an all-around good man/non a-hole. There's nothing wrong in courting and wooing a woman. He just has to be careful about it, and protect himself at all times. #Don'tGetOrtiz'd

    The woman in the third story may have done you a favor, as much as it may not seem so. If she's willing to go home with some random, Swagger-McSwagger-type dude, as opposed to someone who respected her and her body enough to not take advantage of her in a drunken state, then she deserves what she gets when random dude smashes, then leaves. She'll be angry woman #1 screaming about how all men ain't sh*t…….

    1. "Story #3: I wouldn't consider this simping at all. Men should be careful to confuse simping with being an all-around good man/non a-hole. There's nothing wrong in courting and wooing a woman…"

      +1000000000000

    2. "Story #1 : Anything that happens before you grow your first facial hair should be considered null and void. You and your classmate barely hit puberty at the time. " Exactly….I don't take any quasi-relationships I had before I was a teen (like 16) seriously at all….your a kid…wth do u know about grown folks relationships????
      Dr. J story number 1 doesn't even count. Anul it like a divorce son.

    3. "Story #3: I wouldn't consider this simping at all. Men should be careful to confuse simping with being an all-around good man/non a-hole. There's nothing wrong in courting and wooing a woman. He just has to be careful about it, and protect himself at all times. #Don'tGetOrtiz'd

      The woman in the third story may have done you a favor, as much as it may not seem so. If she's willing to go home with some random, Swagger-McSwagger-type dude, as opposed to someone who respected her and her body enough to not take advantage of her in a drunken state, then she deserves what she gets when random dude smashes, then leaves. She'll be angry woman #1 screaming about how all men ain't sh*t……. "
      Cosign on all that!

  10. I don't think those were the lessons you should've learned from those situations. I think those were just the wrong girls to do those things with/for. My current guy did many things similar to those and they worked like a charm.

  11. We live and we learn bro, I used to be a kid who would write corny poems and sign it from a secret admirer and slide it into a girl's locker. I was pretty terrified of talking to girls when I was young. lol.

  12. Damn. In 1992, I was a sophomore in high school, Jordan and Drexler were battling in the Finals, and the original Dream Team played that summer. #oldmanblues

  13. LOL @ the stories…well…I LOL'd with you, not at you, lol…

    I have a HORRIBLE adolescent valentine story. I doubt if I've ever really told anyone beyond those who were there. I'm going on 31…and its still that embarrassing to me, lol…so I won't share! Lesson learned? Let interested men come to you. They haven't said nothing cause they don't want nothing…or they don't want it bad enough.

    The theme I see throughout your stories is that doing too much too soon can hurt you. Slow and steady…even in your gift giving and date planning…is the safest way to go. Cute post. Showed that Dr. J can be vulnerable too, lol…

    1. In my defense, school started the Tuesday after labor day. By the time I gave Latondra that Valentine we had been sitting next to each other for about 6 months. In the second story, my ass was watching Brown Sugar and thought I was going to pull a Boris on her. I said, three dozen roses and it ended up being six. Also, keep in mind, I know a florist in NYC who isn't expensive. (Everybody needs a good hookup in the Heights.) But I was intentionally trying to overdo, plus I knew her ex was an ass. Then in the third story I took her to the Kennedy Center on like the 6th date. But looking back on it, I should have tried to have sex with her before that.

      PS – Since I started having sex, I never really been the type to have sex with a chick who was wasted. As a man, that just ain't never sat well with me. Regardless of if we were dating for years, wouldn't do it.

  14. I don't think it was just the "wrong woman." I applaud Dr. J for the lessons learned from those. I think sometimes we overthink right and wrong with regards to relationships. The reality is love has no rhyme or reason many times. And folks are fickle and funny and many times inconsistent. Love and people are 2 things we don't have much if any control over. Like the saying goes, you cannot control other people, just yourself. Even when u think your "the boss of someone" your really not. You may be able to control what u do in love and relationships, but not really who you love and don't love.
    Everyone on God's green earth has made mistakes in love and relationships and chose the "wrong person", been hoodwinked, duped, rejected, used and abused. There are no guarantees in love and relationships. Thats the way of the world.

  15. Dr. J,
    Are you saying the lessons you learned are NOT to do these things for a woman anymore or is there now a waiting period before you'll do these things for a woman? I think this post is a problem with a lot of men. They remember times when their efforts went unappreciated way back in grade school and that anger carries over into adulthood. If women did the same, we'd get nowhere in relationships. Be YOU, whatever that means. I wish guys would stop changing just because they didn't get the desired result once or twice. Some woman, some day will appreciate you for who you are, and all your grand gestures.

    A guy did this to me recently. Sent a wedding arrangement-sized bouquet of flowers to my house. While it was nice and I appreciated the gesture, I wasn't feeling him like that yet, and he knew it. It was too much too soon. The flowers weren't the turnoff, it was him. I just didn't like him like that.
    My recent post Lessons I Learned From “Boomerang”

    1. Um, that's exactly what happens with so many women now. With that being said, I'm inclined to wait and ascertain if/what she likes, but until we're in a committed relationship I probably won't be doing the grand gestures for real.

      1. Right, and men call them "used goods," and tell them they have baggage. Is this considered baggage? The problem begins when we use our experiences to generalize all men or all women. It just sounds like Dr. J is saying never again, so I'm trying to figure out the lesson he learned. If it is never again, that's unfortunate.
        My recent post Lessons I Learned From “Boomerang”

    2. "…is there now a waiting period before you'll do these things for a woman?"

      "…I appreciated the gesture, I wasn't feeling him like that yet, and he knew it. It was too much too soon."

      It seems that there should be a waiting period.

    3. To be honest, i'm single with no kids. $80 on some flowers after a date is no big deal. I spend that much at happy hour on Thursday. It's all about priorities and sacrifices. So I don't buy a new pair of shoes when I get paid, that's the money to take her out on a $150 date. That's just how I see it.

      To answer your question, i've never gotten another woman flowers. I get my mother flowers and all the women in my family get poinsettias during Christmas. Other than that, nobody gets flowers, I try and find another gift. That flower fiasco has a sour taste in my mouth. Like when you smell 99 Bananas after senior year of college. You got nothing against the 99 bananas, it just has a certain memory you hate.

      1. 99 Bananas? Is this a black thing, or an East Coast thing…or what? or Is it like 99 bottles of beer on the wall…if one should happen to ….etc?

        –Yep, a white dude… Oh, and from San Diego

        Read the whole enchilada here, and must say it was more entertaining then informative. Which is fine,. but I stumbled onto this by looking for informative words…ahh internet searching.

        Oh and hey, I've done the flower thing. Differing from your "Maybe this'll get me further" I did it as "Maybe this will get her back" Twice. The first time, it did work. I wish I was more like that with other girls…just how I gave alot of attention? Hmm.. second time, well, had no effect…maybe she smiled? That I wasted $50…

  16. I won't lie though, I still simp when I get carried carried away by the awesomeness of the female I'm trying to talk to ( Word to Feb 14 2012, I set up a date plan just for us to go for a salsa dance session, only for her to back out at the last minute talm bout how we moving too fast n sh*t smh).

    I always use the excuse of "I'm still young as hell" whenever I find myself guilty of simping lol but these are just life lessons and experiences, so I'm not mad or nothing…

    1. Salsa dancing is not even all that serious. I just invited three girls to salsa dancing with me on Monday — Future style — AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!

        1. Wait, i'm not dating any of those girls. So I think it's safe to say i'm not playing anybody lol. I'm just saying, salsa dancing ain't all that serious.

  17. all this post tells me is to look at the full person and not the "pretty girl" she knows she can get better and you will just get burned every time.
    there are many females who will take your flowers, enjoy the kennedy center and take your phone number for a nice conversation. dont be bitter and turn your back on enjoying life

    1. Don’t categorize all black women as ungrateful- first, I would have personally been very flattered by the attention. Second ,I strongly feel most men want the pageant beauty not the real woman so you end up with an ungrateful, superficial individual. Third, I think not so pleasant personality traits are not confined to one race. I’m sure if you date enough Asian women you will run across the ungrateful one.

  18. Lol! @ lessons learned 1 and 3. Man, I have my own unfortunate experience or two in which the lesson was "stop simping". As a young man in the dating world you learn quick (if you're aware), lol.

  19. It’s easier to kill weeds early – We all have live and learn lessons but don’t become so jaded that you shield your heart from true happiness. It’s apparent to me in each scenario that the females needed to stop simping.

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