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Secret Service: Why Men Always Pay For Sex

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I overheard a conversation at the gym a week ago, which was about women (surprise surprise). Dudes were discussing the Secret Service scandal, in which these men were hiring hookers and getting crazy. Besides the fact that they were in a foreign country on business, they attempted to play and didn’t want to pay. As appalled as the fellas were that these Secret Service members were defaulting on their coochie coupons, they were adamant in their objection to ever paying for sex. One gentleman said plainly “I never paid for sex, and never need to pay. My swag is immortal and I can pull chicks without having to put any money on the table!”  I had to disagree in theory with this fellow because in my opinion, men have paid for sex and other favors throughout time, whether directly or indirectly!

We all know about the billion dollar business that is the porn industry. Sex has been lucrative ever since Eve swindled Adam into taking a bite of the forbidden fruit, and Adam became aware that she had that Cake too! Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world. It’s no secret that sex sells and men are buying, but how do men pay in other ways? If you’ve ever heard Jay-Z’s song “Power of the P.U.S.S.Y”, then you know the formula. Women buy clothes to stunt on hoes. Men don’t buy fresh clothes, nice kicks/shoes, and other items so that Ricky will envy them! They buy it for YOU ladies! That money you invest into yourself, will contribute to your overall appeal and limitless vaginal victories. While you didn’t put the money into her hands and say “Be gentle”, your financial investment contributed to your success with the love below. I could give other examples, but my dude Wis wanted to chime in with his light skinned viewpoint.

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WisdomIsMisery

I’m not sure why we have this discussion every few months. Men pay for sex all the time, b. Any man who doesn’t believe that is in denial or broke. If you don’t believe me all you have to do is perform a little experiment: You know that girl letting you access her pum pum star? Stop paying for everything, immediately! Now wait 30 days and report back to us how much access to the pum you received afterwards. According to the comment section on Mr. Spradley’s Single Sam Series, some women are fine with accepting money in return for sex as well. You’ve got to pay to play, I guess. Even The Boondocks’ Riley Freeman questions if there is any real difference between paying for dinner and paying for sex:

I don’t know how other men operate but when I see a lady that catches my romantic eye and I offer to buy her drinks or whatever else, I’m not paying because she had a great looking personality. Therefore, I guess the argument is men are saying they aren’t paying outright for sex, like for an escort, hooker, or prostitute. That’s fair and I can buy into that logic. I’m going to overlook the hypocrisy of the fact that these are usually the same men, as Streetz mentioned, that willingly drop half their paycheck or more on clothes (to look good for women), the VIP section (to stunt on women), and acrobatic pole dancers (to see naked women) of women they are not even having sex with and move on to playing Devil’s Advocate.

Like most things, I don’t feel one way or the other about escorts, prostitutes, and/or women who have made the unforced grown-up decision to sell sex in exchange for money. Additionally, I don’t have much to say about the men who employ them. It’s trickin, even if you got it, but if that’s how you choose to spend/make your money, do you. As I often say, what you do with your genitals is none of my business. I have my opinions, of course, but they aren’t important to this discussion. As far as men saying they won’t pay for sex, I have a few follow-up questions: 1) Is this a moral objection? or 2) Is this a financial objection?

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Frankly, beyond the moral objections – which I respect – I think most men don’t (incorrectly think they) pay for sex because they don’t have the means. I look at how much men waste on women already and I can’t see these same men suddenly objecting to spending money on women if they were world travelers (Secret Service) or rich. It doesn’t make sense. First, the Secret Service is comprised of a number of married men. Second, while an esteemed agency, these guys start at between $43,000 – $75,000, ($80,000-110,000 with OT and nighttime/hazardous differential) so they are arguably not rich. I think it is safe to say these highly trained, highly educated and highly public figures are representative (if not more so) of the typical man. Yet, you mean to tell me Tyrone from the Block with the white tee and Nike foams is above paying for sex if he’s afforded the opportunity and means to do so? I guess I’m slightly more than doubtful. To end, I’ll quote an admitted, and largely well-known in celebrity circles, working girl on the subject.

You’re not paying me for sex. You’re paying me to keep my mouth shut.” – Jenna Shae

StreetZ

Ladies, I will never blame you for getting the most bang for a man’s buck. If a guy wants to take you out and shower you with gifts, they can’t clamour against “gold diggers” because they set the bar! You can’t say that women only want you for your money, if you make it rain on every date voluntarily! The difference between men and women’s investment, is that women will invest in themselves knowing the potential for their return on investment. Men will financially invest in self, and be oblivious to the versatility of their investment.

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I’m not insinuating that every relationship is a glorified escort service. I just want to illuminate the fact that in some way, shape, or form, men financially invest in the dating process. It’s understandable that you don’t want to be viewed as a man who needs a bank account to guarantee intimacy with a woman. However, it would be naive of us to deny the financial aspect of the courting process. That haircut you got before your date, was that free? Did you find a miraculous way to illegally download gas into your car so you could drive to her off-campus apartment? Those $1.50 tic tacs that you bought to prevent your breath from kicking like Chun Li don’t count either? Please! If you don’t think that money plays a role in the male-female interaction process, just ask the men that go through divorce proceedings that pay alimony, or the men who actually pay child support monthly. If the right don’t get you, the left one will!

Do you think it’s wrong for a man to pay for sex? Do you think it’s wrong for a woman to charge for sex? Do you think most romantic interactions between women and men is already an unspoken exchange for sex and other benefits? Ladies, what are your views on the money vs sex phenomenon.

StreetZ & WisdomIsMisery


Admin Note: Please read and share WisdomIsMisery’s Top 5 Issues Faced While Dating After Age 25 over on BadOnlineDates.com.

Comment(160)

  1. It is what it is. I think the only shame is the one men feel when admitting they pay for it and the moment when a woman has to officially appraise her p***y to assign a value to it. *shouder shrug*

    1. Pride plays a huge role in this. Men reluctantly admit they pay for sex because of the implication they pay because they can’t get it othrwise. Prosititutes reluctantly admit they are prostitutes because of the implication that they have no self worth. Then there’s the #YOLO people who say it aint tricking if you got it or haters keep them motivated.

    2. That's something everyone here seems to elude. There are women that set the value to their cooch. I've heard women say "I'm no cheap date" in reference to their puss and also heard the crackhead musings of one girls' mother where she said if the man is going to knock it down "he needs to be giving up some hair and nail money." I took note of that philosophy since I was 18 and not a year has gone by where I haven't seen it deployed.

  2. Hmmm, Is men paying for sex wrong? I dont know. I would not but then I would not judge a person who does. its their prerogative. My view on inter gender romantic interactions being some sort of exchange of sex for money is that even if it is, I think the men who have the most fun are those who dont think of it that way. Personally, I have come to a point in my life that if I buy a girl a drink or something and it doesnt work out, I dont fret. I shrug and walk away. I m not balling, I just dont think its that big a deal. Cant cry over spent money bro, just have to go work to make more.
    My recent post State of the Nigerian Nation: On Terrorism and Corruption

  3. However, it would be naive of us to deny the financial aspect of the courting process.

    I can appreciate what you are saying, but unless it's a direct exchange, it's not paying for sex. A lot of women invest financially in their relationships and/or dating endeavours as well. Does that mean all parties are paying each other for sex? I mean, women don't typically buy lingerie to stunt on hoes. The financial investment does go both ways. You could make a decent argument if the sole goal of wining and dining is to bed the other party. However, just the other day, a good number of you were assuring us that sex is not at the forefront of your mind when you're trying to get to know/date someone.

    That said, it's a given that relationships are an exchange for benefits. That's their whole point. Companionship, support, intimacy, etc. They're supposed to offer you things that you may not have access to when single.

    Paying for or receiving money for sex is against my religious beliefs in addition to being wrong according to most North American laws (I believe?). I don't have strong feelings towards prostitution as long as it's not coerced, though. If you tell me that a man is paying for sex by shelling out $$ to date me, logic dictates that I'm being indirectly called a prostitute for acquiescing. There are always two parties in that game: a sex buyer and a sex seller.

    1. I think you can directly and indirectly pay for sex.
      Most times most men pay for sex all the time indirectly.
      I know married people where the husband must by x, y, z to get sex from his wife.
      In fact a former cowrker had on her keychain "I have sex with my husband because he buys me things."
      Another friend of mine is a stay at home mom and this chick has so many Jimmy Choo, Manolo, and other expensive azz shoes and boots that cost hundreds of dollars it's not funny. Not to mention expensive clothes too. She may never admit this, but let her husband just stop giving her money and no longer allow her access to the credit cards to where she can no longer shop. I have a very strong feeling that little to no chex will be had.
      Granted sex is not the only thing men think about, and it may not always be at the forefront of every mans mind when first approaching or getting to know a woman, but they are thinking about it more than women most times.

      1. Wanna test that theory – Look at how many men will continue dating a woman after she says she wants to wait until she is married to have sex. Men who will wait – see how long it takes them to drop down on bended knee and put a ring on it. Even the nicest, sweetest, most honest guy I've known admitted he let a perfectly good woman go because he could not wait until they were married to have sex, and thats what she wanted.
        I don't think it's always intended, however, the 2 power plays in most every relationship are typically sex for women, and money for men.
        How often have you heard a man say he will withhold sex from his woman/wife if he doesn't get what he wants?????
        Which sex are the biggest consumer and viewers of porn? Which sex contribute the most to the sex industry as a whole? Which strippers make more money, male or female?

      2. If you have to do x to get y, then that is a direct relationship. If you have to buy me shoes to get in my pants, then that is a direct relationship. If you buy me shoes to get on my good side, which influences how I perceive you, which then increases your chances of getting in my pants, you have confounding variables that come into play. Could've been perceived thoughtfulness of you remembering the kind of shoe I like. Could've been the gesture itself. Etc, etc. You wouldn't typically fry an omelette and say you paid good money for it. What you paid for was the ingredients. You pay for an omelette when you are in a restaurant and it is served to you as an exchange for your money. In the same vein, one does not go around saying that one paid for one's job, although one made a significant investment in one's education and certifications. If the indirect argument is made as far as sex is concerned, we pretty much indirectly pay for everything, which renders the argument moot.

        1. Indirectly meaning not like a prostitute & john type of situation. Or stripper type of situation.
          I don't think too many married men like to think (and admit) that they pay for sex, however many of them do. The relationship between the people is direct of course, however, the paying for sex isn't always direct.
          imo paying directly for it is a prostitute or stripper or just someone paying your bills to sleep with you ie a "sugar daddy" or "sugar mama" type of situation.
          When it's a situation where your married or in a relationship it's different in – your husband/wife or girlfriend/boyfriend, and not just strangers or 2 people with no more than an "arrangement."
          So if your husband or boyfriend only buys you a gift and takes you out on Valentine's Day because he knows he won't get chex if he doesn't then to me that is indirectly paying for sex.
          If you only give your boyfriend/husband "head" ie oral to get him to let you shop with his platinum amex card then that is indirect also.

    2. I believe the context is shaped in paying for sex in an indirect manner. This is not to imply that no other benefits are included on top of sex (i.e. intimacy, compansionship, support, etc…), but this post isn't about those other benefits. The conversation Streetz had in the gym was about the Secret Service scandal and paying for sex….not compansionship.

      I don't believe the indirect paying for sex examples used in the post weren't meant to paint a negative connotation toward women, but just acknowledging the notion that the men who say they would neeeever pay for sex actually do indeed, but in a more indirectly, socially acceptable way. Oh and the comparison between what women invest financially versus men during the courting process (generally speaking) isn't as comparable as it is seemingly implied in your comment…at least in what I have experienced.

      1. Here's the thing: regardless of the ratio comparison between men who foot significant bills and women who do the same when courting, the rationale has to be equally applied. Which means that the minority of women who do invest significantly in their relationships are equally paying for sex. I didn't for a second think the post took any shots at women; it's just that one side of the argument does not exist in a vacuum.

        1. Right, I agree…the minority of women. So the exception, not the rule. I (along with I believe, at least, the majority of people) am referring to the context of the rule and the intended perspective of men. Sure the rationale is the same if roles are reversed and I'm not disputing that. I am just staying within the parameters of the example provided in the original post.

        2. That's cool. I'm addressing the actual theory, which is what I find fault with. I'm not trying to dispute the fact that men handle that side of things on a grander scale than women do. My angle is that I do not believe that women are paying for sex when they do those things, so it'd be odd for me to say or think that men are.

        3. The other thing to consider is the reasons why folks do the things they do. For women the reasons why they invest in themselves to attract men isn't so much for sex with the man, I think for many women sex can be a means to and end. Women invest in hair, clothes, and make-up to simply get a mans attention, and get him to want them and then everything else that follows.
          I know women who keep their hair done, keep their nails done, and make-up looking nice and like the company of men, however that's all they want. My grandmom keeps her hair done and still puts on make-up and cooks for her ex-boyfriend that she's know for like 50 yrs plus. She even wears the colors he likes to see her in, (pink and yellow) because she knows thats what he likes and it always warrants a compliment from him. However the last thing my grandmom wants at age 91 is sex from him or any other man.
          I also know a guy who divorced his wife because he said she went through early menopause and no longer desired sex with him or any other man. I'm quite sure this woman still keeps her hair and nails done and dresses nice. He told me she works out and runs. Obviously though if she has gone through early menopause and no longer desires sex then she is not doing those things for sex. In fact many women just like to look good because it makes them feel good. And some women like to look good to everybody, not just only men. Some women pay for implants because they feel like they will move up more in their company because they look better. Other thing is many women I know are dating, mating, and relating in hopes of getting a husband, not just a boyfriend or sex partner. Some of my girlfriends who put on make-up just to go to the corner store or market have said, "girl I gotta make sure I'm always looking right, never know where I might me my future husband." I've yet to hear a man speak like this.
          Some folks may disagree, but I'm speaking based on what men I know have told me.
          They tell me practically everything men spend money on is for women and/or sex.
          All the guys I know have told me they always go to the perfume ladies in the stores to consult with them about what women will think smells best on them. If a man decides to grow a beard and wifey/girlfriend says "I don't like it shave it off" it's as good as shaved off immediately most times. The cars some men purchase and drive are bought many times because the dealer has probably told them, "man a lotta women really like this car, get this car and you will get women."
          So a big part of the paying for sex argument is cause and effect as it relates to the reasons why men may pay for sex and why women may pay for sex.

        4. I've watched that show about the male Gigolo's in Vegas and from what I've seen the women who pay for sex from those men do so because they don't have time to meet a good man to date and have a relationship with due to their careers, they are in an open relationship with someone already, they are single and horny and really backed up.
          You also have some women who just pay for those guys time and attention and all they do is talk to him. Others pay for a "boyfriend experience" because they can't get all they want in an actual boyfriend if they have one, or they are single and can't meet a man to date and court them how they want to be courted, let alone be a boyfriend.
          I've never heard of a man paying a female gigolo to be a fake girlfriend to have a "girlfriend experience" because they want a good girlfriend and can't find one.

          Post idea – what do you guys think about men who are in the business of being 'fake boyfriends" to women simply to provide them with a "boyfriend experience."

  4. Well, I'll just say: It's not about the money to me, it's about the principle. The rules/customs/cues/norms of the game! Eg. man comes up to me at a bar, we're having a conversation… for a good amount of time, and we're hitting it off or whatever. There just comes a time when the dude should buy me a drink. If he doesn't even offer, how much further could we go with this, really? It's weird. It makes me think… why the hell won't this dude offer to buy me a drink at a BAR. Where's the follow through? Maybe there's something wrong with him, or maybe he isn't feelin me like that. At that point, PEACE. Lol. Stupid if you think about it, but still. Anyway my point is, the little financial things like that shows that you're putting in effort. It's all about effort! Does this have any bearing on the question of whether this is ultimately paying for sex? Dunno, but I feel like it should.

    1. This makes little to no sense to me. So you deserve a drink because you deigned to talk to a dude? .I can't. Also, I'm pretty sure a guy can tell your salty about not getting a drink, and the write off goes both ways. But if this works for you…

      Following your logic, in your situation guys would definitely be paying for sex.

      1. I don't think I deserve anything from a stranger. You're putting other ish into what I wrote. Trust…. I really didn't mean that sex comes right after the drink-buying (for me). I'm just saying that's a first step in this hypothetical bar scenario in the multi-step journey to entering a woman's vagina.

      1. I didn't say that I would have sex with a person cause he bought me a drink btw. I can see that a lot of these replies seem to have inferred that. I just said the interaction (probably) couldn't go that much further.

        1. So, the interaction can’t progress unless the guy buys you a drink? Correct?

          Fascinating. A few questions…

          1. Would you ever buy, or even offer to buy a man a drink if you’re enjoying the conversation?

          2. Do you believe that the man has the responsibilty to initiate the conversation?

          3. If you’re not enjoying the conversation, but the man offers you a drink, how do you respond to that?

        2. Lol. Y'all are honing in too deep on this one particular example. But yes in a way. I guess I wont say it can't per se, but I've rarely ever seen it happen. In my experience, if I'm legitimately having a good conversation with a dude, and he is too and he's interested…. he WILL at least offer to buy me a drink. Wouldn't you, if you were interested in a girl, after a fair amount of time talking to her?

          1. Not a stranger no. Male friends, guys I'm cool with, someone I'm already dating –most definitely. Not someone I just met.
          2. No.
          3. This is a good question. NOW, I don't really drink lol. So, probably not. In the past, yes I have a couple times and I did feel bad about it. For the most part though, nah. Although it IS a struggle in these streets and my friends would probably be pissed if I turned a drink down, so if I were to accept, it would be in a scenario where drinks were also offered to my friends. My advice if you're scared of this scenario happening to you is don't just offer a drink to any girl, but one you legitimately are vibing with.

  5. "men have paid for sex and other favors throughout time, whether directly or indirectly!"
    "Men pay for sex all the time, b. Any man who doesn’t believe that is in denial or broke."
    “I never paid for sex, and never need to pay. My swag is immortal and I can pull chicks without having to put any money on the table!”
    Clearly two truths and a lie.

  6. Do you think it’s wrong for a man to pay for sex?

    What they eat dont make me ish *Jigga voice* #punintended. You don’t want to fix/dont know how to fix a sink you hire a plumber, you don’t want to mow your lawn, you hire someone. You don’t want to actively date, go thru the hassle of balancing a wife and sidechick, just want the sex, you hire someone. Its life.

    Do you think its wrong for a woman to charge for sex

    I’m neither here nor there on the issue. Its a sad world when a woman can legit set a price on her body but its been going on so long to care would be a waste of my energy

    Do you think most romantic interactions
    between women and men is already an unspoken exchange for sex and
    other benefits?

    Everything is a negotiation. Whether its sex,recruiting her to be your future wife, or even get some exposure on TMZ before you drop a label compilation album #kanyashian; you don’t date for no reason. Sometimes both parties want the same thing, other times its separate and you got to sell him/her on them getting their benefits so they can give you yours.

  7. Exactly, in the back of my mind i know i wouldnt be out at Bertucci’s if i wasnt trying to see what was under that sundress but going in with an obligatory mindset gonna leave me Amare after Game 2 mad if things dnt go my way

  8. When I was a young man I would tell dudes that I dont' and won"t ever pay for sex. As I got older and wiser I understood that yes indirectly I pay for sex, whether it was getting her nails and hair done, or buying gas for her car. When I thought about it I would have done better getting one of them $5.00 girls. LMAO.

  9. Do you think most romantic interactions between women and men is already an unspoken exchange for sex and other benefits?

    No. The belief in this implies that sex is the only form of currency accepted in the dating game. Call me crazy but if you`re gonna pay for something shouldn`t be guaranteed ? Dinner, a movie, flowers and candy do not mean an automatic pussy pass. Besides, what services are being rendered on a date by men that women aren't providing? Sex isn`t something that should be expected on any date and assuming you should get it because you took a shower and put some clean clothes on… Well we all know what they say about people who assume.

  10. Wiz killed it with the quotes. That Jenny interview with Kelly Divine was I opening. She said "chex is my job, I don't ask you to do your job for free." Plus they made lil Wayne look like a lame.

    And Riley Freeman is black america.
    But back to the topic, I know dudes who don't pay for anything past condoms and maybe a metro card. Relativity speaking, you can pull models off GP, it is not impossible for everyone. Just not possible for me. Plus you can always give off the illusion of money.. than ride that wave till you assassinate Putin.

    But lets be clear. I expect that the secret service is mostly white boys, and white boys have a different mentality it than us darkies. I went to my high school reunion last year, and all these wall street goons were talking about were the best place to get a message with a happy ending. Comparing services, looking for discounts… this was in a catholic school, during mass. Thanks god I didn't bring wifey.
    Plus you have to add the foreign country element to that…….. and no one wants to count what they did on their trip to DR or Brazil. no one. Man I went to DR for the first time as an adult on my way to bury my grandmother in Haiti (north Haiti, cheaper to fly). Me and my baby cuz landed in the airport and people just start talking all reckless to us "yeah i know what you are here for" "o yeah. You guys look like to DR veterans" "don't be scared if she walk up to you and she is 16." WHAT? I AM HERE TO BURY MY GRANDMOTHER!
    My recent post The Game: A Woman’s Right to Choose Herself Review

    1. I lived in DR for a bit. Prostitution is everywhere and its legal. Won't get into the whole story but there some are reasons that prostitution is beneficial for those women. But its so obvious what men are there for. My friends and I would either laugh or be grossed out. The American men stick out.

      But talk of DR does brings up my point that it's pretty hard to separate free-will prostitution from forced prostitution. The money you paid a woman could go towards human trafficking of a 15 year old girl. Be careful
      My recent post Music Review: Big K.R.I.T

    2. I know you. You’re the guy talking to his wife about what happened at the bachelor party. No good. Best to get you plastered early so that you’re either in a cab or too blasted to be a credible witness.

  11. "The difference between men and women’s investment, is that women will invest in themselves knowing the potential for their return on investment. Men will financially invest in self, and be oblivious to the versatility of their investment."
    This right here is the Truth.

  12. You can try to convince some of these dudes that they aren't paying but the evidence shows the exact opposite. Hell, I've come resigned in my indirect trickery. Have I paid for cabfare? Yup. Late Nite grub? Yup. Gas money? Yup. Bottle of the cheapest Moscato I could find with a fancy label so she feels fancy? Yup. All you wine snobs shut up too because no matter if it's Barefoot or that stuff from Australia, ya'll will punish a bottle!
    Let it go brothers…you pay for it. Now if you manage to get it lower than the asking price…you are now a savvy broker. Way to deal.

  13. I'm perfectly fine with sex workers as long as the act is consensual and they are not being coerced into the working there. I do not believe spending money while dating is paying for sex. Doesn't compute in my mind.

    1. It's not computing for me either. If that's the case then I most definitely will decline everything a guy offers me from now on. You know, since I'm not for sell and all. But then again, at a very young age, my mother told me what her mother told her: "Don't take anything (esp. money) from men because they will definitely want 'something' in return." Hmmm, makes me wonder…..

        1. Well, if one goes by the logic used in the former, then he would argue the latter to be true as well.

        2. Well, I don't know how you and your boys roll but I don't buy my boys drinks…or dinner…or anything…even if it's they birthday…

        3. You're right… strippers. (and as Larry pointed out below, maybe a round of shots).

        4. Ohhhh ok that was going to be my next question; I knew there had to be exceptions, otherwise this was nearly unbelievable lol.

        5. Really?!

          Like, if you're at a bar watching a game and you text your boy to come out you won't buy him a beer?

          Why?

        6. I assume he's a grown ass man with his own grown ass man money. If dude left the house without money (like some females I know) I'm going to be looking at him beyond funny.

        7. I'm gonna put this one in the WIM-Specific category. I'd say this is pretty uncommon outside of your "circle."

          You're the first adult I know that doesn't share the expense of a night out among their true, actual friends!

        8. I only have one GOOD friend and two so-so friends (that are guys). I'll buy my homegirls drinks. I'm not fixing to buy my homeboy a drink — unless I think it'll be funny to get him F'd up.

          Serious question: do girls sit around buying each other drinks? I really was not aware of this.

        9. Yes sir, me and mine do. Sometimes it's as Girl6 said- rounds back and forth, bday gurl never pays.

          Other times it's whoever has cash because the hole in the wall don't take credit.

          Other times, the person who invites pays, especially if they pick a place out of the other person's respected budget.

          Sometimes one gurl has a hook up at the bar, so she pays because if she weren't paying, the man behind the bar wouldn't be giving us as many free drinks inbetween.

          But bottom line: yes absolutely we buy each other drinks, regularly.
          My recent post A Week Ago

        10. Hmmm, usually when I'm with my boys, we all have our own independent tabs open. So there's really no point in someone buying someone else a drink.

          I USED to have a couple homeboys who I could never find during the course of the night EXCEPT when I was at the bar buying drinks…then dude would float from under the floorboard like Snoop in Half Baked and place his drink order on my tab……..I am no longer friends with this group of men.

        11. Wis all the time….women buy each other lots of stuff that men would never dream of……think about the gifts women get at bachelorette parties….the only thing men pay for is the strippers, food and drinks and it's usually a group of guys that chip in.
          Don't even waste your breath arguing this Wis……chalk it up to us being different and Keep It Movin.

        12. lol, I actually hijack the bill with my girls often. Sometimes it's because I know I'm in a better position money-wise, but I just like treating in general. Birthdays are a given. Note: I mean one-on-one, not paying for an entire group.

        13. My bad, y'all are talking drinks, I'm talking meals. I don't drink beyond the odd Pina Colada or buy shots for anyone.

        14. I honestly didn't consider me buying this round and my homeboy buying the next round "buying drinks" for each other since that negates itself throughout the night.

          I was thinking I'm at the bar waving my boy over like "youuuu whoooo" to buy him a drink…… because that doesn't happen….in my circle anyway.

        15. If you want someone to buy you drinks you'll need more Caucasian friends, homeboy… you'll also have to start liking jagermeister shots

        16. Lol! Crying! That's ALWAYS the first shot offered up by any of my 2520 friends. Jager and then car bombs. Comedy.

        17. No. The majority of your close/real friendships were developed in your adolesence well before you had money. If anything I'm buying a round of shots or a drink for a friend(s) because they already ARE my friends.

          If you want the best friends money can buy, join a fraternity (#NoShots) lol. (Disclaimer: I actually saw that saying on Fraternity t-shirt they were selling..comedy)

      1. At the end of the day any action any individual takes will be based on some sort of incentive. Some are more good natured than others. That's just the plain reality of the situation.

  14. Do you think it’s wrong for a man to pay for sex? No i don't think its wrong unless its children or women forced into the sex industry… if it's for sale buy what you want… i had a man i knew (a definite lady killer, a man that had women on their backs constantly w/o problem) tell me that paying wasn't necessarily for the sex per se, it was for the peace of mind of being able say what you want, get what you want & to get up and walk away after, no game to kick, no putting in work, no feeling out if broad is crazy etc…

    Do you think it’s wrong for a woman to charge for sex? Not at all, God is still working on me so for right now i must say do what you want to do, if not forced into the sex industry it's her body, ppl make a living off their bodies so many other ways…

    Do you think most romantic interactions between women and men is already an unspoken exchange for sex and other benefits? i do believe every relationship whether they be romantic or not is an exchange of goods and services, what those goods and services may be are conditional on the relationship. everyone gives another what they need/want in exchange for what they need/want… company, companionship, dates, laughter, someone to grow old with… its about needs being met, that is what relationships are about…

    Ladies, what are your views on the money vs sex phenomenon. i'm not sure what the money vs sex phenomenon is.. i know i'm mad at those secret service dudes b/c they tried to make off like bandits, rob these women if you will and that is just not right…

  15. I dunno, I think the investment is pretty equal. I wouldn't really ever get my hair blown straight if I didn't know that dudes would not give me the time of day unless I can validate my membership in the #TeamLongHair club. And it's $75 a pop.Certain outfits I wouldn't purchase, because if I wasn't actively "searching", I wouldn't find myself in certain social situations. I live in NY, and have yet to meet a dude that has picked me up in a car, so no gas. I don't really drink, so you have saved on alcohol. So I have paid $75 for hair I could've just rocked curly, purchased an outfit specifically for the purpose of looking presentable for a date, dude is wearing the same clothes he wore to work, took the train over to meet me, is only buying a beer for himself………
    And THEN wants to go dutch. Meh.

    1. i don't think there's anything wrong with paying for dates. that's the problem with the mentality that paying for dates = paying for sex. why can't you just be paying to have a good time. i know the argument will come "well why can't you just pay to have a good time by yourself?" well i enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who can hold a decent conversation. i would pay for that.
      My recent post Take Me Back to 1953

    2. "So I have paid $75 for hair I could've just rocked curly, purchased an outfit specifically for the purpose of looking presentable for a date, dude is wearing the same clothes he wore to work, took the train over to meet me, is only buying a beer for himself……… And THEN wants to go dutch. Meh."

      ***Amaris honey, that's when your beautiful self was suppose to do an about-face!

      1. Honestly…. he still got a shot. If you're gonna pull the **slowly turns over the bill in my direction with a $20 under it** bit, we'd better be discussing some life circumstances during that date. I have NO issues with your dealing with student loans, paying down hospital bills from that short period you didn't have insurance, being super budget conscious because you JUST started a business and have an obligation to your employees or are about to purchase a house- but don't just pass the damn bill over to me and blankly stare. I will assume then that you only want to be my homie, so don't be mad if you get NOTHING at the end of the night but a dap.

        1. "… but don't just pass the damn bill over to me and blankly stare. I will assume then that you only want to be my homie, so don't be mad if you get NOTHING at the end of the night but a dap."

          Sooooo if he gladly pays… he can expect….

        2. ….to be treated like a man on a DATE, & not like a friend I hung out with for a few hours. LOL!

          Listen, there's no way to phrase it without sounding bad, I'm just saying if you treat me like a homie, then I will act like a homie. I don't expect you to roll out some red carpet (most of my 1st dates are FREE. I want to talk to you, so I usually suggest a park), but NO effort begets NO response. I've seen men who turn the bill over, or meet me at the movies then inform me they are ALREADY in the theatre & to meet them inside, or order their own drink and immediately pay before I order mine, etc, etc……THEN want to act chivalrous at the END of the night, walk me to my door, and try to invite themselves in. I'm all for equality and ish, but damn…. can you meet me in the middle?

        3. LMAO. This is where that "I bought you dinner, therefore you owe me…" conversation originates from, sigh!

        4. I am not understanding how you gleaned that from my comment.
          Especially considering the DUTCH dudes are the ones acting like I owed them something in all of my examples, I mentioned that the majority of my dates originate in a park, AND I admitted that even IF you dutched it out, you still had a shot. But maybe I'm just speaking French? **shrugs**

        5. Nah… if you were speaking French? I'd still understand *wink*

          But it came from assuming that if the line of thinking that says if he doesnt pay (or explain why he isn't paying) he shouldn't get mad if he gets "nothing" is true, then the inverse would also be true- meaning, if he does pay he should get "something."

          FWIW, I thought you initial retort: "….to be treated like a man on a DATE, & not like a friend I hung out with for a few hours. LOL!" explained it nicely.

          My recent post A Week Ago

        6. Gotcha!
          And I have been on both sides…oddly enough, whether the man paid or not, thinking I owed him something for his time. Maybe I should change my name to Sam…

        7. I just didn't want it to seem like I expect some sort of treatment, I just expect something different from a dude that asked me out on a "date" as opposed to a friend asking me out to a "meet me here", if that makes sense. I am ridiculously low-maintenance, so if I got dolled up to walk in the park with you and you act like a cup of coffee is a big deal… I give up.

    3. #CoolStoryBro

      Lol. I believe you have experienced this, but I would submit this is a lowest common denominator/extreme example. The other extreme would be a guy that pays to get the woman's hair and nails done and buys her a couple outfits and then flies her out to some beach front resort while she comes up off of nothing…maybe the tip at dinner, lol.

      However, like most situations in life, the reality falls somewhere in the middle of the extremes which normally involves a man paying for multiple dates during the courting process among other miscellaneous items and there is nothing wrong with that. Like Tunde said if you want to enjoy good conversation and good company of a beautiful woman then there's nothing negative associated with that.

        1. *high fives*
          *daps*
          *penetrating look in the eyes to signify that I KNOW what you're saying"
          *understanding hug*

          Though I did have a pretty great date last night, soooo there's hope. There. Is. Hope.

  16. yea i've never outright paid for sex in the strict definition of prostitution. i don't care for prostitutes in the same way i don't care for strippers. sure you could make the argument that you pay for dinner, dates or whatever and that is essentially paying for sex but if that were the case then it wouldn't matter what i looked like or how i treated her or my personality. i would like to think that every woman i've slept with in my lifetime has slept with me at least in part due to my merits and not what i can provide for them.

    there have been women with whom i've slept with and not one discernible benefit was exchanged outside of good conversation, company and of course mind blowing sex. so yes i think it is wrong for men to pay for sex.
    My recent post Take Me Back to 1953

    1. I think paying doesn’t always refer to money exchange, "pay” in your case refers to the exchange of time, good conversation and company. just because you might have paid to play doesn’t mean your other qualities weren’t taken into account.

        1. Correct. As it also goes for women; if you’re not interested in a man like he is in you, don’t use him for gifts, dates, time, etc… Trust he's not giving those things up for free.

  17. I don't think it's wrong for a man or a woman to charge for sex.

    I don't think it's wrong for a man or a woman to pay for sex.

    On romantic interactions between women and men as unspoken exchange for sex and other benefits:

    When you add "other benefits" that pretty much makes the question impossible to answer in the negative, lol, because if you find that flirting (an example of a romantic interaction) is beneficial simply because you're interacting with another human being in a positive way, the answer is "Yes, every action is an unspoken exchange for a benefit."

  18. I think men think about it this way. It's the Gift vs. the Gift card. Both have their middle man. If you give a chick a gift card she can just go buy what she wants with what you give her. If you give a chick a gift, there's a chance she might not like the gift. It's the same thing. The thing women have to think about is that it's some men who love to win and men who love to compete. All men love one more than the other. And if you love to win, you'll increase your chances of winning. If you love to compete, you'll focus more on the competition than the actual outcome. That's on women to decide.

    But let me be very clear, *Obama fist*, this is only when a man is only interested in sex. If a man is only interested in sex, everything he does is to obtain sex. And that's where men and women fail to find the common ground and preconditions necessary to have this conversation. Most women are talking about in the case of a man who is searching for a companion. That man takes you out on dates and does nice things because he's trying to court you into a relationship. If a man is solely out for sex then everything he does is to further that goal.

    The SWINDLE is… women usually let on early on what their intentions are, then men can lie or hide. Most women will tell a guy up front what her intentions are, most men are reserved and say things like, "let's just see where things go." So in her mind she was only seeing dude in hopes that he would one day become her boyfriend. In his mind, he might have started out thinking that, but after a while he just wanted to have sex with her. So y'all be on different pages.

    1. Dr. J: "But let me be very clear, *Obama fist*, this is only when a man is only interested in sex. If a man is only interested in sex, everything he does is to obtain sex. And that's where men and women fail to find the common ground and preconditions necessary to have this conversation. Most women are talking about in the case of a man who is searching for a companion."

      Please insert this indemnification at the top of the post so people can read it before they comment.

    2. Dr. J strikes again (you haven't failed me yet young bro:)
      I am so mad with you @ *Obama fist*

      I've learned over the years that less is definitely more. Open-ended replies and vague statements are surely the best route when trying to assess a persons true intentions. When first meeting a person they almost always tell you the truth (not with words but through actions) yes the flipside is that some folks have mastered trickery better than others, however, if one is observant and patient…TIME tells all truths. Personally I think women (in general) talk too dayuuuum much! Most often they talk themselves right out of opportunities (professionally, romantically, socially, etc.) perhaps some will get upset with this opinion (but remember it is just that, an opinion) but "Whateverrrrrrrrr" #TruthHurts. My advice to ladies is, don't let it hurt you forever…make that change. In addition, being overly eager is a trap in itself. This entire response has everything to do with the SWINDLE

      *Falls back off of Doc's coat tail now*

      Kudos to this comment because it speaks volumes especially to those anxious to learn a thing or two…

  19. Make them pay to play. Paying doesn’t always mean using paper money. When I say pay I mean men exchange something in order to sleep with women, it could be time, money, effort it’s all an exchange for the sex to a certain extent. Even our grandmothers didn’t let any man run up in her for free, that man was either wining and dining her, pay some sort of bill in her home, or fixing things around the house carrying her to the grocery store, something. One reason some women are having so many problems in the dating game is because they’re letting these men use them for free, they’re not getting any return for their investment. Not saying that every guy you date will be perfect or the situation will work out but a lot of these women are getting played with nothing to show for it, no paid bills in her house, he didn’t even wine and dine her, didn’t really spend any quality time, no gifts just a wet butt and a cold slice of pizza.

  20. Do you think it’s wrong for a man to pay for sex? I do think it's wrong. I don't think men should have to pay for sex. Unfortunately the reality is they do, and probably will until the end of time.
    Do you think it’s wrong for a woman to charge for sex? I do think so. Shouldn't put a price on your punani, it should be priceless and you should treat it as such.
    Do you think most romantic interactions between women and men is already an unspoken exchange for sex and other benefits? absolutely I do.
    Ladies, what are your views on the money vs sex phenomenon.
    Personally, I believe that what you do for a person should be done because You want to do it; not necessarily always because of what you could potentially get in return or what you will get in return.

  21. I don't think men should have to always do things for a woman and buy her things to get sex. I also think it's wrong for women to with-hold sex from a her man/husband and use her punani as if it's a pawn in a chess game. For one it devalue's her as a woman and a human being. It also forces her to continue to keep up this game that she started. What can happen is the man then places value on his money and what he does for her and material things he brings to the relationship/marriage. And you have something similar to a "turf war." War is never a good thing in a relationship.

  22. Well Momma G6 always says….

    If a Man Can't Put No Meat in Your Beans…. You Don't Need Him.. *Shrug*

    1. But… wait… my beans already have meat (wait… sigh…) I mean… I just wanted some onions, or something.

        1. lol…..ok…let me clarify…I don't think men should have to pay all the time per se to for a womans time, attention, and sex. I don't think sex should be used as a bargaining tool the way many folks use it.
          I think it should be a thing of if you want to date someone you date them because you like them and truly enjoy the persons company, regardless of whether they are paying for every single date or not. If your with a man your with him regardless of whether he pays for you to get your hair and nails done or not or takes you shopping or gives you his platinum card.

        2. A man shouldn't be put in a position where he feels like he has to pay and spend a lotta money to get a womans time and attention and he is looked at as a big ole dollar sign. Thats just not right. If I were a guy I wouldn't spend all my money on a woman I didn't feel sincerely liked me for me, and truly deserved it. Ladies we take for granted how costly it is for men to date. 1 nite or day out can cost them hundreds of dollars easily. Even if they "have it like that" it's the principle of it.
          Let's be real…..many men have kicked out fairly large amnts of dough and gotten No Chex!

        3. And likewise, women shouldn't be put in a position where they feel they need to give up any part of themselves or their body to get a man's time and attention and she is looked at as one big vag with a smile…

        4. "A man shouldn't be put in a position where he feels like he has to pay and spend a lotta money to get a womans time and attention and he is looked at as a big ole dollar sign."

          Hold Up… How is a man BEING PUT IN A POSITION to feel a certain way if he's the one offering or volunteering? I seriously doubt alot of women are out here demanding this kind of treatment from men (Wives don't count, that's a different animal) and if for some reason that particualar women is doing this it's up to that man to simply WALK AWAY and not deal with her. ThatisAll

          .

        5. GirlSixx as of late several guy friends have told me that women they try to date have told them straight up if they are not paying they ain't playin. They have even had women bring friends along and expect them to pay for their girlfriends.
          Or they have taken women out and the woman has ordered up hundreds of dollars worth of food and drinks, taking for granted that he is footing the bill.
          I've also had girlfriends tell me that depending on what they ordered at dinner and how much the man spent on the date that the guy would expect sex from them.
          This is why I am a fairly cheap date. I've always made sure men never feel like it's a must for them to spend a lot of money on the date for me to hang out with them.
          I've always tried to be considerate of the person I'm going out with and the fact that they have may kids; and they have bills. I don't need to have money spent on me like I am either of those things because I'm not. And getting to know someone to see if you can be friends, and possibly have anything long-term with them should not cost a small fortune.
          Again it depends on what the people involved want and what their true intentions are.

    2. Agree. To me a women should make a man do some type of paying/work before he can play in the garden. Some of those women are paying because they are too busy being independent to let a man put out before she puts out. I’m not saying you can’t share the bill once in a while, during the courting process or when you’re actually in relationships things go 50/50. But during the courting process for the most part you shouldn’t have to pull out of your pocket for no more than the tip during dinner especially if this is a first of second date. I’m note saying you can’t ever treat but if it’s getting to the point that every time you go out on a date with said suitor things are always you pay for yours, I’ll pay for mines then you need to reevaluate, you can play with your own pu$$y for free so why pay for him to play with yours.

  23. I think what’s most interesting to note about this debate is that most agree that when men spend money to get the woman (sex), then they are in essence paying for sex since that is the end-game. I can’t read through all the previous comments on my phone, but has anyone brought up the reverse? When women trick on men or pay them for their “time,” they are quick to explain that they are simply paying for “companionship.” Why aren’t women called out more and placed on the same level as the men who pay? Maybe they are just way more discreet b/c it happens way more than (most) people know and/or would care to admit. Just my two cents.

    Btw, I don’t care if someone pays for sex, as long as the buyer/seller is an ADULT with the mental capacity to understand what they are doing.

    ~TK

  24. No to the first two questions. Do you, pimpin'. As long as you're not hurting anyone.

    "Do you think most romantic interactions between women and men is already an unspoken exchange for sex and other benefits?"

    Short answer is yes. If one is interacting with another romantically then one would naturally like to give and receive any benefits associated with what comes with said interactions.

  25. Do you think it’s wrong for a man to pay for sex? No.

    Do you think it’s wrong for a woman to charge for sex? If woman = 18+? No.

    Do you think most romantic interactions between women and men is already an unspoken exchange for sex and other benefits? I'll just co-sign what Dr. J said above.

    I don't have any problem paying for whatever (whether we want to define this as sex or simply the status quo of courting). I actually think it's one in the same and we have all these cute ways of viewing it but I clearly said "romantic" in my section. I am not entertaining a romantic interest that I do not want to have sex with. I personally like having sex with the people I am romantically interested in. Maybe y'all are fine holding hands, forever *shrugs* To pretend that sex isn't a component of most romantic relationships is, in my opinion, dishonest.

    Another thing: I feel differently about this issue at 29 than I did at 19. This is more than likely because I was broke at 19 and I am less broke at 29. 19 year old WIM wasn't trying to buy a woman a drink (or anything if he could), because he couldn't afford to do so. 29 year old WIM can afford to do so, so it doesn't bother me as much. Therefore, my opinion on the act hasn't changed, it's the fact that I can afford to perform the act. Thus, it's really more about economies of scale than morals or even my opinion of relationships/courting/or whatever else. This is just reflective of me going from making $6 an hour to making…well, more than $6 an hour. We must consider how men would act if money were no object. Further, less we forget, these guys were in Colombia, so you have to factor in the "I probably won't get caught" mindset. Just think about the activities you perform on vacation versus at home…I rest my case, your honor.

    My recent post Kate Upton shakes what her momma gave her…again

    1. Yes….the same way women invest time and affection to get in men's hearts. We can also make the argument that some women sell their bodies for your affection. If we're being all the way real in that direction, everybody has a price of some kind, and we're all buyers and sellers.

    2. Yes streetz…. I think some people forget that even if a man wants you for more than sex, that sex is still going to be one of the things he wants you for. Therefore men will invest time, effort, affection, money, sweet talk etc. to get those panties to hit the floor as they should.

  26. Real talk, paying for pu$$ directly is not something i really would do. But i understand why some people do it, and honestly we talk about the hunts point hoes but in reality a lot of the dudes paying for beats are these Fortune 500 CEO's paying for high priced pum's. Here's an experiment my homie showed me, go look up your favorite porn star and then type in her name on Google and put the word "escort" after it. You'll get reviews and prices for each one lmao. There's a whole high classed business to this, and if you got your mind right, and a couple of pretty faces, you can get a piece of that change as an up and coming entreprenegro out chea!

    I know a dude who did a short male gigilo stint, he told me it like this.
    "Yo The Guy, would you ever sell yourself to a chick for a night?"
    Me: hell nah i don't wanna be like that dude in the waterfalls video
    Homie: "A chick picks you up, takes you on a date to a 5 star restaurant and then pays you $300 to give you some head at the end of the night and drops you off home? You wouldn't do that?"
    Me: Wait hold up that's different…..i dunno now

    And the worst part about women buying male hookers is that women develop an emotional attachment to someone they sleep with more than 2 or 3 times, so they start to feel like they have feelings for a dude. But dudes we just be out trying to let off some steam (for the most part), and get one off.

    Its crazy cuz these girls nowadays want it all. You can deal with the devil you know, or the devil that you don't know. I myself will never pay for a hooker and will continue to find the cheapest and most creative dates to take women on to save money, but some guys really just would rather at least deal with a chick who will guarantee them sex and no problems. So i don't knock people who choose that life voluntarily, its the sex slavery, drug addict, no money hoes i really feel bad for.

  27. I'd like to throw this out to the congregation: Is this a matter of supply and demand? Do ugly dudes spend more on arbitrary materials (drinks, shoes, purses, etc) for women than attractive guys?

    FTR, I assume men with money – attractive or ugly – spend more in general so I'm speaking strictly on aesthetics here. I don't spend too much money on drinks, because I don't have to. If I did or felt it was a requirement to get to know a woman, I would. Then again, I don't live in NY…and y'all seem to live life………………..differently.

    1. I think they're more likely to, yes. They know that they're working from a disadvantaged point, so they try to win by other means. Even though aesthetically challenged men get away with a lot, you'll find that the attractive ones get more passes in general, and more often. Same thing with attractive women, although the means are different.

      Sometimes, though, confidence messes up the seemingly predictable equation. Because people are generally attracted to confidence, an "ugly" man with an appealing character will not feel the need to shell out more money than his peers with nothing going on for them other than their wallets. And attractive men with a complex will spend like no tomorrow because their confidence is tied to the power their wallets commands.

      1. Same thing with attractive women, although the means are different. Good point. As I am far more likely to buy an attractive woman something than a non-attractive, whatever that something may be.

        Your second paragraph is on point too.

      2. I agree Naija…..most all of us are superficial and in most every aspect of life the most attractive people get a pass moreso than less attractive people.
        Confidence definitely plays a huge part as well. Like the saying goes, "if you think you got it goin on, and strongly exude that in your everyday life, then eventually so will everyone else.

  28. I think INTENT plays a large role in whether someone is paying for sex. I didn't read all the comments, so I'm not sure if anyone mentioned it, but the law subscribes that INTENT must be present for there to be an actual crime in many situations, including prostitution. Hear me out.

    If a man's intent is to get sex from a woman by giving her money and buying her things AND the woman's intent is to give him sex once she has received a certain amount of "things" or money, then that is paying for sex. But, if there is no meeting of the minds where the man and woman both understand that the man is buying her things and he expects to receive sex because of it, there is no intent on BOTH sides. Therefore, there is NO selling or buying of sex.

    You can't indirectly buy something. You either buy it or you don't. I'm at an art gallery and I see a painting that I want. Unless, I take out my money and give it to the seller for the price listed or even a negotiated price, I did not purchase the painting. If it was given to me because the seller "likes" me, I still did not purchase the painting.

    I don't feel a certain way about prostitution. A man I was dating told me that he ACTUALLY paid for sex when in another country, and it made me feel differently about him. I think it's more so because him paying for sex means he slept with a woman who knowingly has slept with maybe hundreds of men, and sucked hundreds of peens, and could possibly have "something." Also, I wondered, 'where's your confidence??' Being that he didn't feel it was possible to simply get a girl based on his own charm and good looks, his stock plummeted, but I appreciated his honesty in admitting that he had paid for sex.

    My recent post The Depression Diet

    1. Funny, u think golf and/or jet skis is what guys do in Brazil….GTFOH!!! If u want a man that's well traveled, diverse, or what u would consider an Alpha male it comes with the territory. Wake up Bella or stick to the barber around the corner!

      1. I don't think that's what guys do in Brazil, which is why I wouldn't want my significant other going there, at least not while we're together. I know all kinds of craziness goes on in Brazil, which leads me to wonder why a guy would be so willing to sleep with a prostitute. Do yall care about your health AT ALL? Does your "other" head really do all the thinking when presented with sex? It's sad and scary how men will go over to those foreign countries and engage in all kinds of nastiness with these prostitutes and think nothing of it. Who says I want the type of person you listed? Dating a guy that's well traveled is overrated…obviously.
        My recent post The Depression Diet

  29. Color me stupid, but I thought guys "courted" women they actually want to get to know. You go on dates to get to know someone. Granted, you can get to know someone without spending any money at all, but typically when a guy really likes a girl, he takes her to nice places to impress her, not necessarily to get sex quicker or at all. But then again, I'm not a guy, so I can't say what a man's motives may be. But, that was my understanding. Usually, if a guy just wants sex, there will be few dates, if any and NO gifts.
    My recent post The Depression Diet

  30. PS: I date for me. I've never considered the thought of me "paying" for buns via courting. Courting is simply that. Its the fun game of winning her heart. If you feel you're courting cost is a means to get to her loins then quit! You've already lost.

  31. I don't know how the men who pay for sex live with themselves, considering 90% of prostitutes have serious problems in their lives, and are not hooking completely voluntarily. Those problems include but are not limited to serious self-esteem problems, human trafficking, pedophilia, drug addiction and insurmountable debt.

    I guess if you can close your eyes to all that, sex with a prostitute can be enjoyable. Although I know an awful lot of men who couldn't enjoy it if they knew the other party wasn't enjoying it too. In that case prostitution requires even more blind faith.

    As for the notion that men pay for sex directly or indirectly, I'm going to base it on what I just said: prostitutes rarely have sex with their johns completely voluntarily. They also rarely enjoy it. You can't buy sex with a woman who wants it and enjoys it.

  32. I don't have a problem with women and/or men who choose to make their living via exotic dancing or prostitution/escorting. I would not want to be with a man who had an interest beyond a special occasion lap dance for someone's birthday or bachelor party.

    I do not believe spending money during the courtship process/dating is the same as paying for sex, and I don't think that accepting favors while dating/in a relationship makes me a prostitute, or my suitor/bf a "john". Whatever you do, you are required to spend money and/or, whether you are alone or with someone, so just because you're with someone when you do it, it doesn't mean you're spending it ON THEM, FOR THEM, etc. You can't even use the restroom in Chipotle without a receipt from something you bought there. Doing ANYTHING costs money, so spending money while dating should not be viewed as prostitution.

    I have no interest in petty men who equate dating me to paying a prostitute.

  33. Oh. See I thought it was about guys vying for your attention so they have to entertain you in the best way possible. It may involve money but it may not. They can't have s.ex with you if they don't have your attention. Ya'll stay educating me.

  34. Men are providers by nature (or should be) and this starts from day one of the dating/courting process. And I know it's 2012 and we women are supposed to be on this "independent" ish. But make no mistake that quality women still expect a man to be a man and pay for dates, etc. (not sex). Besides, the only men that I ever hear complaining are the broke ones (who should really be more focused on their hustle than women), the cheap ones (who need to just date themselves), and the ones who are always trying to date out of their leagues (who just need to date the type of women they can afford and hush).

  35. This reminds me of a story I heard once:

    At a dinner party Winston Churchill says to his dinner companion, “Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?”

    The woman responds, “My goodness, Mr. Churchill. I suppose I would.”

    Churchill replies, “Would you sleep with me for five pounds?”

    She answers, “Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?”

    Churchill answers, “Madam, we’ve already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.”

  36. No women want to be viewed as a prostitute. No man wants to be viewed as a person that can only get sex if he pays for it. This much is understood. It seems like we are all playing games. A woman’s job is to gets the most out of a man (money, gifts, if she’s good at it marriage) for the least amount of sex as possible. The man’s job is to get the most sex for the least amount of his available resources or money as possible. Perception is the staple. May the best gender wins. Paying for sex is knowing your gonna win the super bowl. Paying to date a women for her company only is maybe you will only get to the super bowl maybe not. Dating to me is pointless if it doesnt end with a man cracking a woman’s back. P.S. I also dont think that man and women can actually be friends without someone liking the other unless the man is gay or the female is a lesbo. Man and women can’t just be friends.

  37. I earn $9/hr and have severe social anxiety. If I didn't pay for sex, I would never get laid. It doesn't surprise me that women object. They are biased. They can get sex anytime they want. Young or old. Rich or poor. Thin or obese. Educated or uneducated. It doesn't matter. If women had to live in our shoes for a year, they would fight to legalize prostitution. Why should I be denied something that is innate because of someone else's moral hangups? I will continue to pay for sex until women become less materialistic and start approaching men.

  38. This over-analyzing of the motives behind paying for sex is amusing. The fact is that I don't deeply think about paying for sex in any particular way, the process goes like this.

    1) Want to have good sex.
    2) Not interested in going out to "pull" a girl or otherwise try to find a girl with the same motivations about sex as me. Guess you could call me lazy an apathetic.
    3) See sex offer, "does x for x amount of money, no bareback". Think I think could have fun.
    4) Go for it, both of us have a good, safe time. Be happy.

    Do you see how simple that is? At no point do I consider how much of a loser I may be, or how much women may dislike me, or how I'm missing out on true love, or the whole host of other things which people accuse me of thinking about. It's just a simple transaction where I get what I want and hopefully the woman in question enjoys it too.

    So, my question to you is, why don't you understand this? Why does paying for sex need to be a deep statement about how they feel about women, themselves or life in general?

    Nice simple, straight forward, kinky sex is the best sex.

  39. yea.. i aint paid for sex for an entire semester. true, i was in a college atmosphere where most people are dependents or dont have cars. BUT the baddest chicks are entertained by the homies with the cash and car. TRUE, non of the baddest chicks gave me play. They would flirt, and let me touch, but I never hitt.
    I slept with several girls last semester, but they weren't BAD (good-looking). They was cool, I give them 7's.
    By NO means am I the most attractive dude. I'm just cocky than a mf! it sickens me I'm that cocky.
    OH YEA, the girls I slept with ALWAYS gave me the "dry" face when it was time to pay for shii..
    OH WELL! HAHAHA

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