Home Featured The Diary of a Mad Blogger Pt. 1

The Diary of a Mad Blogger Pt. 1


May 16th, 2012 – Journal Entry #1

I’m growing concerned about the state of the black blogosphere. I’m growing concerned about the reluctance of readers to internalize honesty. I’m growing concerned by the reticence of writers. I’m irritated by the emphasis on article titles that emphasize insecurity. I’m annoyed by our increasing hypersensitivity that awakens anytime any group is put on the spot. When I first started writing back in 2008, there was a thing called candor. There was a thing called freedom of expression. You could talk about whatever you liked in whatever light and it didn’t draw the outrage and resistance of those that give life to this ever evolving organism. One post didn’t cost you your audience. If anything, your honesty was respected. A man could genuinely say what he pleased and it would spark well-intentioned dialogue. It wasn’t assumed to be a misogynistic, egotistical, and selfish attempt to prey on the opposite sex. Egg shells only existed in cartons.

A woman could voice her opinion on whatever topic and it wasn’t bogged down by shhh’s and “You can’t say that. It’s not lady like,” negatively prefaced retweets, and unintentionally supported Facebook likes. Your thoughts were your thoughts. Nothing was contrived. You just spoke what was on your mind.

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Though the internet remains an open space, the ability of writers to keep it real is deteriorating. Honesty is being forsaken for pageviews. Perspective is being traded for cash. Manufactured flagrance is accepted as pleasant fragrance. The juxtaposition of it all is nauseating. I.Can’t.Breathe.

Somewhere along the way, blogging went from amendment to business. The media saw an attempt to pad their pockets and it’s been downhill ever since even, even though Adsense and freelance checks tell us we’re doing the write thing. My voice continues to be heard, but only when it’s palatable. I’m asked for my opinion, but when spoken from the heart, I’m told that it’s wrong. I’m informed that I’m no different than any other man and I need to go a different way. I’m told that I should speak to my brethren who, quite frankly, aren’t interested in hearing what I have to say. Not on the common topic. Not on relationships. They’re living their lives and becoming better men. They’re not concerned with how to find love, how to convince #him that he’s where he should be, or how to know if she’s that into him. They’re just living life.

And when I talk about the things that people have asked for, they fall on deaf ears. Few people care. Few people read. Few people have an opinion until it doesn’t match their own.

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I want this to be my career, but sometimes I feel like my honesty keeps it a dream. Unless, of course, I adhere to what I’m told to do. Sometimes it’s verbally communicated to me by an editor. Other times it’s made evident in the response of readers or lack thereof. I’m a brother of blogging trapped in a woman’s world. And what makes them happy doesn’t always make me happy. But, because the path has been laid out for me, I know what I should do. I don’t have to sell my soul, but sometimes I’ll have to lease my pen.

I have so much more to say, but it’s tough to talk when nobody’s listening. I’ll catch you next time. Pray for this treasure because we’re turning it into trash.

Honestly yours,



    1. Precisely. No artist can do 100% what they want and maintain an income. And some of what you want to do as an artist requires you reach a certain level of notoriety you can only reach by giving in to business pressures.

  1. Please post some examples of what changed since 2008. Name a blogger who got kicked to the curb after an honest opinion. Who suffered for keeping it real?

    1. I can recall a handfull of incidents just in 2012, stemming from posts or post titles that prompted responses like "won't be reading", or "you just lost me" (full disclosure, I follow them on FB as well). But alluding to your "keping it real", I offer 2 examples;

      1) I wrote an essay that won a few awards back in high school regarding race and feeling like an outsider due to my mixed heritage. I considered it to be honest, & it spoke directly from my heart. The vitriol that came back at me was soul-shredding. I gave up writing for a while after that, but eventually learned that my words are only my heart until I give them away. Then I have no control, and therefore cannot be too offended. I also learned that once you release something for public cunsumption, you cannot control how the public consumes it.

      1. 2) I got into a DAYS-long argument with a blogger once for posting a rediculously offensive advice piece to a woman, kindof in the "y'all wil NEVER be so-and-so, so give up" vein. I calmly explained that there is a difference between being blunt and being an @$$hole. The difference is TONE, and intent.. One is to help a person, and the other is to uplift yourself by bringing another person down with the guise of "keeping it real". often I have to temper my humor when I write stuff (whether it be as a guest blogger or a comment on someone else's) and ask, who is this benefitting? Is it giving me a chance to puff out my chest or is it creating dialogue?

        1. Is there a black blogger out there who did the equivalent of John Derbyshire? Derbyshire’s post was considered a letter of resignation by his superiors and he got bounced. Most other bloggers post what they choose, take the backlash (and pageviews) and post something else the next day. Who believes a whackjob dumb enough to post, “I’ll never read your blog again”? They are probably back reading again before the end of the week. Likewise, who cares if somebody probably unemployed at home between episodes of Judge Judy decides to tear into your heartfelt post? Get some thicker skin and keep on posting.

    2. Champ of VSB wrote a post that dealt with issues surrounding rape. I didn't read it, because I generally read blogs for entertainment or instruction (food), and that didn't seem entertaining. The next day he had to apologize and several faithful readers claimed they'd boycott VSB, or at least all of his future posts. That was earlier this year.

      1. I read that VSB post and the backtrack post that followed. There was a lot of opposition, but Champ used it as a learning experience. He said he'd bounce it off a few friends before going there in the future. I did not interpret the backlash as resulting in fewer VSB followers nor causing Champ to question the entire black blogosphere. Champ called it a learning experience and he stays winning.

        1. I also read comments in his original post where folks vowed to never read his posts again.

          Sooo, learning experience or not, he lost some fans/potential fans.

  2. This post is why I am reluctant to make my blogging a business UNLESS I can be me, whatever that entails, and continue to write the way I write, as often or as little as I want, and about what I choose to write about. It has to be on my own terms. I have been attacked for my opinions, but I stand by them regardless. It is possible that I am wrong or sometimes I am exposed to a different point of view that makes me rethink what I posted. I don't think this a bad thing due to my newfound ability to not always want to be right 🙂 I realize everyone will not agree with me or see things the way I see them. That's ok.

    Ultimately, it's your decision whether you will give the people what they want or continue to give them the truth.

    I am a newbie compared to you. I started blogging a year ago. I still love it, and have not once sacrificed honesty to gain more readers. For the most part, I enjoy your blog. I do have a particular author that I don't enjoy as much (not you), but…well that's besides the point. I say press on, and to thine ownself be true…
    My recent post RHoA Season in Review

    1. "Ultimately, it's your decision whether you will give the people what they want or continue to give them the truth."

      I like this. I think a lot of us give the people what pays the bills.lol. But yeah, that's why I created a personal blog where I can do things on my schedule and on whatever topic floats the proverbial boat. It's my woosah zone.
      My recent post Free Write Friday

      1. Nicki Minaj gave the people what they wanted and look how that worked out for her…she's on her way out. Always choose quality over quantity 🙂

        Glad you have another outlet where you can do you.
        My recent post RHoA Season in Review

  3. i hear ya slim. i've been around blogs since they started getting popular (circa 2006-07) and the landscape has changed so dramatically in such a short period of time. i'll just say keep writing the content that makes you happy and most comfortable. the people who want to read will and those who don't won't.
    My recent post Take Me Back to 1953

  4. Writers are puppets. Our pens are the strings. Our words are scripted and measured only by the enjoyment they bring. I’ve watched some of my favorite bloggers change from being the catalysts that provoked debate and in many cases action dwindle to just another monotone reporting outlet. The Catch 22 is evident as our writing evolves when we wrote for ourselves we were slaves only to our own thoughts, emotions and the pen in our hand. We were grateful and humbled if someone was interested in what we penned. Soon the masses come and with it expectations, labels…rules. Rules that make us servants to an audience, a niche, and/or a group of advertisers. We pump advertorials instead of critiques, we promote instead of inspire. Once one becomes successful they have to resuscitate the fire that made them a writer in the first place. it’s extremely difficult to find the balance of promotion and opinion. Great Post!!!!

  5. In situations like these, my mother usually says, “this is why I will never be rich”. I didn’t get is as a child, but I understand what she means now.

    In our society honesty, integrity, and goodwill often go unrewarded. Doing the “wrong” thing gets a person so much farther than doing the “right”thing. Corporate goons are making millions off of shady business deals and crap products, while the honest small business man doesn’t get a fighting chance. Mediocre musicians are topping the charts, while artists with truly insightful and thoughtful messages go unnoticed. And watered down half-hearted written works (blogs or otherwise) get crazy page views, while writers who put a piece of themselves on the page every time they write are damned-if-they-do-damed-if-they-don’t.

    Only you know where your moral compass points and how far you’re will to veer off course. What ever lets you sleep at night…

    1. I couldn't agree with this post more. I've blogged since 09, went hard in 2010, lost faith in 2011 and came back this year. It is frustrating, but as I read from a blog post on another site, "The Blog Game is Like the Rap Game."

      I think bloggers with integrity, passion and emotion can get a large audience, but they wind up losing faith while comparing themselves to other sites who put up crap and then get mad attention from it. But I've learned, Seek to outdo yourself and not others. At the end of the day, be happy with what you do.

      Bloggers are usually great writers, but poor marketers. We have to learn to develop the business side as much as our passion for writing about whatever our niche is.
      My recent post Should Fathers Spank Their Daughters?

  6. DOn't have thin skin. If you feel a certain way, be prepared to state your views, just understand that not everybody feels that way and so you might be forced to explain yourself more than your 1000 (or so) word post does. Sometimes its good to have these debates.

    That's the whole landscape of this internet thingie. As you post more, people start to learn your views and who they think you are, the picture you paint of yourself. If they like it, they keep reading. If not, they find somebody else to read.

  7. *cues Moment of Clarity instrumental*

    It goes beyond the blog game, listen to music, read the paper, watch TV everyone is out here bunting for singles and thats bout it. Why put in the work to make quality albums when people will eat up 2 good singles and some freestyles. Why hire passionate talented writers when you can just repost a bunch of AP feeds, why develop classic sitcoms when people are watching reality shows which is alot cheaper to produce. At the end of the day as consumers, as readers, hell just as people with our own crafts…we need to demand better.

    1. I read your comment and immediately thought of that post over on Global Grind the other day. Something like "things Beyonce can learn from Kim Kardashian" 2 of probably the top 10 most Google'd names in 1 article, for the sake of page hits. The irony is it worked because Beyonce stans were fake mad about the article. Stuff like that makes me feel bad for the current journalism majors who actually are really great writers #lebronshrug
      My recent post Not Every Woman Is Made For Motherhood

  8. This post made me think of NC17 and his blackgirlsareeasy blog. He does not mince his words and certainly uses as much colourful language as he desires. I don’t know the size or diversity of his audience, but he has good readership and has succeeded by doing things his own way.

    In the few years that I have been following this blog, I have disagreed with many things I’ve read, and with some instances that I feel there was blatant and unwarranted disrespect from author to one or more readers. However, I would not still be here if not for the candid and overall solid output. You guys are doing a really good job with running SBM. You pay attention to your readers’ feedback and make adjustments along the way. Individually, you’re all respectable individuals with strong conviction in your words. Continue to pay attention to the business aspect of things, but I can assure you that you will lose some regular readers if your content turns into candyfloss. If you want to make a career of writing, do it largely on your terms. It won’t feel as great if you sacrifice your integrity. You’ve already learned that there is no way to please everybody, and that should not even be the goal. You will always have people who dislike you and intentionally or unintentionally misrepresent your words. The only thing I ask of any writer is conscientiousness and respect, and although those things are subjective to a degree, I think you’ll be alright as long as you don’t come out guns blazing at every turn in the name of honesty. Make an honest evaluation of the content, the way in which you are communicating it, and whether or not there is a chance of improving the latter. Due to a glitch, I once saw a post on some blog before it was set to go live. The editor reached out and apologized for my lost comment, and I took a second look at the piece after it had been edited. There was a big difference. Same ideas, only the tone had changed. I believe the responses reflected that difference.

    Anyway, enough rambling before I get fired. Btw, it’s painful commenting from my phone. =(

    1. Thanks for following along and noticing the evolution. We won't ever allow this to become a candyshop.lol. Framing is key though. One of the biggest lessons I've learned. That and the title will make or break how people feel about a particular topic and in many cases the author.
      My recent post Free Write Friday

      1. lol As much as I have a sweet tooth, you’d best not! And yep, framing is huge. It all starts with the title, because that’s what mentally prepares people for the content to follow. You can spend five hours of work on an article, but without some consideration towards the title, it can easily be doomed. As far as the readers are concerned, some need to exercise discernment sometimes and try to see beyond preconceived notions. It’s alright to disagree, but first consider the work in its entirety.

        I just realized that I’m a liar. I have likely not been reading for “a few years”. I sometimes feel that way cuz I thoroughly dug through the archives at the beginning of my SBM journey. Whatevs!

  9. "And when I talk about the things that people have asked for, they fall on deaf ears. Few people care. Few people read."

    I always thought it was funny when a post that offends is responded with comments like, "we're still talking about this? This is so shallow! Be more insightful!" And then when an intellectually more insightful post is written, there's like 20 comments, with the person who was so critical before being conspicuously silent.

    1. I am not on the back end of this blog, so I have really nothing concrete, I just find on some intellectual thought pieces, or personal stories, that I enjoy the lesson but feel there may be nothing left to add, as they have basically put my thoughts into words. So it may be the same with others; they read it, but don't comment. I don't think the non-relationship posts get noi love at all (except for perhaps maybe the sports posts, as those particular ones I do not follow)
      But I don't believe this sentence rings true for this year, as especially with the addition of new blogger/viewpoints, that there have been exponentially more comments on non-relationship topics, like the post on "A Dream deferred", etc.

      1. This isn't so much just not commenting on different subjects that don't interest you. This is about the people who gets their panties in a bunch by seeing a post entitled "Do Men Prefer Long Hair?" or "Are Light-Skinned Women Winning?". They may or may not actually read the post, then turn around and say the writer is shallow for writing about this, and how there's 100 articles about this. Next, they give "constructive criticism", basically telling the writer to write something different or step their game up. Then when the writer does just that, crickets.

        In fact, when someone makes a complaint like that, it is usually the first and last time you see that screen name. Just comes out the woodwork to say something negative and then disappear.

  10. I really feel this post. Having just started blogging in March, after being encouraged to do so by several of my peers, I have found myself in the company of other Mom Bloggers & relationship bloggers & everything else bloggers who have given me advice as if its a business. My design doesn't draw in advertising, my name is too racy to get enough views to be sponsored by a major female blogging network, we'll adswap with you, but make the ad very soft, because your content is so hard. It doesn't help that I have good traffic, out the gate. I am fielding offers from advertisement I don't want. Having to deal with things I didn't think would be an issue until much later in my blogging adventures…

    That's all great advice, don't get me wrong, but I just write to get readers. I just want someone to read what I say and listen to me. Even if you don't agree, I want you to read it, internalize and feel like you got a perspective that was refreshing, honest and enjoyable. I am not concerned with shock titles, or arguing about the "IT" topics as much as I am concerned with putting out an honest interpretation of my life as a stay at home mother, who isn't exactly June Cleaver. Or even Claire Huxtable.

    It seems like all my blogging friends and I support one another in order to gain something. People are products now, not readers. They are a point of sale between you and an advertiser, a product vendor, a sponsor of some kind. I am not sure if I am totally ok with that. Its not what I got in the game for. I thought that I would finally be able to just release things into a safe space that I wanted to share. I certainly wasn't down to NOT profit at all from my readership, but what I thought was something that would take years to build, people are pushing and pushing and pushing me to realize should only take months.

    And I totally agree with the fear that one opinion or stance could totally lose you your following. I recently noticed a ton of people on twitter throwing around the word "bigot" in reference to ANYONE who didn't support gay marriage. It was like all or nothing, you support it, or you're a bigot. I don't support gay marriage, and wrote a post about it. Its been one of my highest viewed blogs to date, and people were staying on the page for well over 4 minutes. So it was being READ…internalized even, but NO ONE responded really. And I have a blog where people respond, typically. I was so worried. Did I alienate my audience because I took an uncomfortable, unpopular stance on something I had the right to stand anywhere I wanted on? Must I tape my writing to fit the needs of my readers instead of just writing and hoping that even if they don't agree, they can do so respectfully and still enjoy? For me that is totally bothersome.

    Anyway, I know I am a rookie blogger, but I definitely can relate to this piece in a lot of ways. Thanks for writing it.
    My recent post Tired of Being Humble: I Do Not Support Gay Marriage

  11. I joked on Twitter but this is really the bloggers manifesto – meaning almost every blogger can relate. I'm not sure about commenters (or if they care). To the very point you made in the post, this is one of those compelling, open, and honest blogs that won't get as many comments as a charged post or even a non-charged post with a charged title. Anyway, I agree with everything you wrote so I don't have much to add there.

    For self, I "started" formally blogging on Myspace and that's how I got the recommendation from a number of readers to start a full blown site. It's basically been a trial by fire experience from there with varying degrees of wins and losses. I do agree that you have to get to a certain point and garner a certain following before you can "keep it real" yet if you keep it TOO real you'll lose that same following and support in a matter of minutes. Popularity in general, but especially on the Internet, is fleeting.

    It doesn't help that I'm personally not scared to debate (as anyone who witnesses my Twitter timeline on the daily knows). But I do have to tip toe on cotton sometimes to make sure I don't hurt anyone's feelings or alienate what little following I do have. It's definitely a balancing act that many viewers of the show take for granted. It's also interesting that a number of people expect so much quality – and have so many opinions on the quality – without paying for any of it. In that way, the blog game is eerily like the rap game and I think the overall product has suffered as a result (this theory extends to all media – news, radio, etc). Everyone expects millionaire content for dollarinare prices (or free).

    Anyway, I don't write the rules. I just play the game. I wish more people understood that.

    My recent post The greatest commercial ever?

    1. I wanna add a quote from a rather strange source:

      "On your way to the top, everyone's got advice for you. What you're doing wrong and how to do things they've never done for themselves." – Chrysler 300 Commercial lol

      Those words resonated with me. You definitely have to be weary of who you take "advice" from on your way to the top…

  12. My father use to sell insurance and one day he allowed me to come with him on a call to a problematic client. The client was incensed about something that my father did, even though my father acted appropriately, and in the middle of the conversation my dad cute this dude off and calmly said: "You're fired" and we got back in the car and drove home.

    I was completely astonished to see this because I didn't understand WHY he did that, and I wasn't even aware someone COULD fire a client, and after asking him why he did that, he looked at me and stated "as much as I want a lot of clients, it doesn't mean everyone can be my client. Quality over quantity is the key to sanity" And it's that thought that has stuck with me in my own blogging career.

    "Every reader/commenter/follower/subscriber is not someone that's good for YOU." That doesn't mean that you should alienate your fan base, it means you should realize as a writer that trying to appeal to EVERYBODY without offending ANYBODY is the quickest way to please NOBODY.

    Don't be afraid to fire your client or find yourself continuously having to beg for their forgiveness. I think more writers should focus on cultivating a cult-following than just desperately reaching for mass appeal. I know my blog turns a lot of people off and I truly don't give a F*^K – because I am aware of the fact that there's many people who DO enjoy it.

    Most writers have forgotten who they use to be – honest, intriguing and unburdened of worrying about the backlash from the blogosphere. It was THAT version of you that initially created all the success you are enjoying today as a writer. Try to revert back to that writer every now and then – it's truly cathartic.

    I know this rant was disjointed and all over the place, but my point is that I think we all have been here before. My only insight into this topic is simply encouraging everyone to be themselves and trust their "writing voice" above all regardless of the backlash – you may be surprised how much people agree with your point of view, or at least respect you for having the balls/ovaries to firmly grasp a point of view.

    Good post Slim

    1. +1

      "Every reader/commenter/follower/subscriber is not someone that's good for YOU." That doesn't mean that you should alienate your fan base, it means you should realize as a writer that trying to appeal to EVERYBODY without offending ANYBODY is the quickest way to please NOBODY."

    2. Great response, Linc. Especially this: Most writers have forgotten who they use to be – honest, intriguing and unburdened of worrying about the backlash from the blogosphere. It was THAT version of you that initially created all the success you are enjoying today as a writer. Try to revert back to that writer every now and then – it’s truly cathartic.

      Slim’s writing drew me as a regular reader/infrequent commenter of SBM. Keep it up and, in the words of Rhianna “don’t let the bastids get you down”

  13. Good post, man. I'm not a blogger, I just comment a lot (word to Big Pun, #RIP), so I can't necessarily relate to the struggle, but I can definitely imagine the frustrations one must go through at times. Keep on doing your thing, though.

  14. I'm not a blogger…but I do review music online…and I'm just an opinionated, free-thinker in general, lol. So, I'm no stranger to walking alone when I need to. And, although it can be lonely sometimes, I wouldn't change that aspect of my personality at all…wouldn't trade it for anything. This part of my personality keeps me honest, content, and at peace with myself. I actually believe its part of what makes me strong…attractive even…and ultimately, respected.

  15. This is why I did not survive as a journalist because I hated being told what I "had" to write about and how I "had" to write it. While I do have a website, I consider myself a fiction writer and when you sit down in workshops for a critique – you will hear it all. People will give you tons of suggestions, ideas, ways to make it seemingly better – until you look up and your story no longer belongs to you. You have to sift through it all and find what works, what doesn't, all while keeping your voice. It's a tall order. And sometimes you just have to listen to what I call the writing Holy Spirit, say eff them all and do what feels right to you because if you don't – neither you nor your passion will survive.
    My recent post The Heart and Soul of DC

    1. I actually think this is why so many sites/people fall off over time. It starts with being about them and somewhere along the way it transitions to being about the audience and the passion wanes. I've given my fair share of pep talks about this. That journalist struggle is real though. I have an appreciation for what it takes to be given an angle and turn it into something even if you don't believe it.
      My recent post Free Write Friday

  16. The day i stopped caring about public opinion was the day i truly became a writer. I wrote what I felt on myspace and facebook notes and that turned into streetztalk, which turned into me joining SBM. Theres 7 Billion people in the world. If the message is potent and genuine, it will reach the masses regardless of dissent, hate, or opposition.

    ironically, pardon my typos
    My recent post [EVENTS] First Saturdays #AfterTheMuseum Cinco De Mayo Edition!

  17. I don't know that any career can include complete honesty all the time. I feel that our society is so driven by income and status that we are constantly putting our "best" foot forward in attempt to please others while ignoring our own personal values. At times, I myself refrain from even saying things I truly feel to avoid being too negative. I naturally have the cheerleader syndrome encouraging positivity and greatness in others but then I often question whether positivity is more important than being real. Anymore I question what is real. I don't blog, but have a desire to. But many times I am scared, scared of losing the support of my closest family and friends due to my true thoughts and opinions of things. It seems a good down and dirty debate often ends in someone getting offended. There are few people left that I can truly agree to disagree with and know that we still love and care for each other the same as we did before we expressed what idoits we thought the other was in the moment.

    1. Appreciate you dropping by to leave this comment. More importantly, what you said about putting the best foot forward. Been talking a lot at the day gig about personal values and success and it's interesting where that conversation goes.
      My recent post Free Write Friday

    2. I really appreciate this comment. Burn out is real in almost all professions because you get into a field with the best of intentions, motivation and passion and then you get bogged down in bureaucracy and spend more time playing the game to get ahead/keep sane. As a teacher, I reflect on my own practice often to remind myself why I do what I do when it gets to be too much.

  18. Slim, definitely stay true to yourself. Whatever you are passionate about, that's what you focus on because at the end of the day, that's what it is all about. Doing something in life that you are passionate about and seeing your dreams fullfilled is the ultimate goal. I only started reading blogs a year ago, but I can definitely say this is the only blog that gets my attention on a regular basis, because I can relate to the issues discussed…..At the end of the day, never compromise what you really believe in….As one of the comments stated above, "quality over quantity triumphs everything."

  19. Don’t take lack of response as it falling deaf ears. Some of us read it and take it in and agree or disagree. But the reality is most of the time we don’t have time to respond but at least you gave us some real sh*t to read and think about.

    What you wrote was brutally honest and at small moments sounded more like your ego talking…but that’s fine we all have our ego…

  20. I think your wrong (or at least I’m hoping), I think a lot more people are in search for what you talk about. Honesty, the rawest form of it, to say what you really feel and be comfortable/secure enough that others may not agree or have to. That at the very least it brings up good dialog and stirs up questions on what we’re really passionate about and believe.

    Remember you signed up for this; you had to have known that with passion like this…writing, along came some consequences. Some people aren’t ready or open enough to take others opinions and a lot of the times people fight what they don’t understand and aren’t ready for…if that makes sense. Then there’s the business side and if others are invested in your business then you better believe they’ll always have something to say about it.

    Love the blog though and look forward to it throughout my work week.

    1. Appreciate the comment(s)

      Yeah, I knew what I was signing up for and I know what I'll continue to get. There are also a good amount of perks that come with this stuff, so it balances out. I wrote this post to capture a moment in time and to show the other side of this that people often don't see. I think people need a reminder every now and then.
      My recent post Free Write Friday

  21. The lack of responses on a post that you poured a lot into stings but if the usual suspects comment and expound while adding on I appreciate it more. Hell, the best comment I've ever got was via a text message after a post about mental health when my best friend for about 20 years simply said "That's the realest sh*t you ever wrote." I don't rest on it but I'm happy to hear it.

  22. It’s hard to know what to say about this post. I don’t have a strong opinion. I take note and think, thats nice. And move on. That’s why you dont get comments on your serious posts. Who is gonna disagree if you say, for example, young black men should vote and get involved in government. And if i agree, what’s the point of commenting “cosign”? It might affect me, though. Actually remind me to be more active. But just because I asked you to write about serious stuff doesnt make me a hypocrite or shallow if I don’t comment. You just didnt say anythig I want to comment on. IF youre blogging for hits or comments, you’re gonna get frustrated.

    I blog because I’m having what i think is an amazing unique experience that i want to talk about. I cant talkk about it with my friends, coworkers, family. It’s so unique, I can’t find anyone whos done it. SO i slab online. Since its not an opinion blog, I mostly get comments from one or two people who follow long. And the occasional person who waits for the opportunity to say “stupid bitch, you shoulda known better than to think you could get away with this”. Or the perennial favorite “he’s not that into you” as if they are giving me gems from the mount of wisdom. I used to get a few hundred a day, cause I was posted on this other hub, but when i changed to my own domain, theyre not answering my emails. Now I get a few dozen. I dont care because I know for a fact if i ever make money from my stories, it wont be on that blog.

    Anyway, I can see why opinion blogging would be frustrating. Ima let you finish, but i gotta ask you this question. I said this on twitter last night. It seems like the popular blogs are mainly women and men who are willing to bash and insult and prey on the insecurities of Black women. Framed as advice. It’s a cash cow. If youve participated in that, even if it was only at times, I don’t have any sympathy for you when you get tired of feeding the beast. You bought into the “fat stupid deluded bitch” bandwagon. Betta ride that thing out till the wheels fall off. Or start over with no readers and try to figure out if anyone wants to hear how you feel.

    If that pisses you off, it doesn’t matter because i don’t have to please any damn body. See yall tomorrow!

      1. Oh, I forgot what I was gonna ask. I got started on my rant and just went with it. Oh! Why yall complain about people not commenting on serious posts? You didnt write it so people could disagree, obviously. You could say “i believe x non controversial thing about y current event or news piece”,you’re gonna get some cosigns from your fans. Or you could say ” I think anyone who doesnt think x ain’t shit and here are my reasons.”. And write the exact same blog, throw in a little hyperbole, cover it up with some “I was just saying” disclaimers, and voila, you got discussion. Yall know that, right?

  23. "And when I talk about the things that people have asked for, they fall on deaf ears. Few people care. Few people read."

    That's a common frustration, so I feel you there Slim! Sometimes I think people complain for the sake of complaining. However, maybe a lesser acknowledged reason is they keep heckling to see if you can actually write something of substance.They push and push, banking that maybe you don't have the same verbage in a different realm to write what you're known for. When you finally do and the post is something great, you shut them up. I mean pure crickets! I've never heckled anyone because I mean I don't call myself a blogger, I respect what ya'll do. But I have followed other sites for a month or 2, hoping the writer would delve into a different topic or bring a fresh perspective. When they didn't, I stopped visiting.

    I'm really digging the branching out that SBM is doing though. Adding a sports section, along w/ Tunde's more cerebral intro posts and the guys' fashion post, gives the entire site a balance that mirrors the black male experience in America.
    My recent post Not Every Woman Is Made For Motherhood

    1. "I'm really digging the branching out that SBM is doing though. Adding a sports section, along w/ Tunde's more cerebral intro posts and the guys' fashion post, gives the entire site a balance that mirrors the black male experience in America."

      As one of the people behind the machine, that means a lot. We're working hard (pause) to switch it up. Flip mode. Flip mode's the greatest.

      But for real, appreciate that.
      My recent post Free Write Friday

  24. I say keep saying what you feel how you feel it; but then I’m not trying to make writing my career, so I could careless how folk feel abt the way I express myself (probably why I don’t get a lot of hits on my own blog page). If you can’t be completely & truly honest with your feelings, thoughts & opinions in your writing (for fear of someone else’s toes being stepped on, someone misinterpreting, someone crying foul about how YOU express YOURSELF, whatever) then what’s the point of writing anyway?
    Online or in life, those things are going to happen eventually anyway, the only thing we can do as individuals with our own thought processes is to stay true to ourselves. Stay true to you, let everybody else worry about their own feelings.

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