I have a confession to make…
I forget names easily.
I have a second confession…
Sometimes I even struggle with faces.
Not exactly the best way to win friends and influence people eh? Yeah, I know. It’s something that I’ve been challenged with most of my life. I meet someone, I learn a few details about them, then I forget their name as I’m learning those details. My poor memory doesn’t discriminate either. My forgetfulness doesn’t care if you’re a man, woman, black, white, or Madagascan. If I meet you somewhere that’s buzzing with activity and I don’t see you again soon thereafter, call it curtains. The more activity going on around us, the less likely I am to remember your name and — in some cases — your face. That’s why I’m diligent about my business cards and sometimes will take a phone number just so I can commit to memory who the person is.
I initially decided to write this post because as I’ve been out more frequently at networking and social events, this name thing has gotten a helluva lot more crucial. You can imagine the potential problems I create for myself by not remembering who people are (Though I do remember Twitter handles and commenter names). Today, in honor of keeping it light, I want to share three of the most common situations I find myself in by being forgetful:
Scenario 1: The Delayed Happy Ending
I run into a woman I’ve seen out at a couple events. She says hey to me, I proceed to look at her while parsing my data bank one second too long. Before I can deflect, she’s on it (pause) with “You don’t remember who I am do you?” At this point, I’m mentally grasping for straws of time while my data processor works at turtle speed. If I say I don’t remember her, she’s likely to say “We’ve met 2 times and you can’t remember who I am?” or “How is it that I know your name, but you don’t remember mine?” Neither of which are pleasant questions to answer when everyone else in the room is indulging in jovial exchanges. So instead, with the help of bronze Jesus, I miraculously buy myself enough time to get the name or at least a few details to confirm that I do in fact know who the person is. The conversation goes on happily ever after.
Scenario 2: Starting in the Hole (ll)
I see a group of women, one of which I’ve met a few times and couldn’t remember her name. She turns to her friends, says something, they give me the collective side-eye. I turn and go in the other direction toward someone I remember and immediately say their name as a small victory.
Scenario 3: Could It Be…
I see someone that looks familiar, but I’m not 100% sure it’s the person I think it is. This scenario in itself has two sub-scenarios.
Sub-Scenario A
I tell the person (woman) that they look familiar and ask them if they know a couple people or if they were at a couple events. If it turns out to be the person I thought, all is well. If not, they think I’m hitting on them and using cliche game. And to make matters worse, every time I’m in the same area as this person thereafter, they’ll assume I’m following them around with a parched palate because you know…saggins is thirsty these days.
Sub-Scenario B
I look at the person trying to figure out where I know them from, but don’t go over. They see me looking, turn to their friends, and now the hunt for Six Foot Thirst is on, so I have to completely turn my back or go to a far off part of the venue. Admittedly, when I see them looking, I could be ballsy and go over to make small talk but what’s the point if I’m hydrated?
—
I say all this to say that the name game ain’t easy and it’s a work in progress. I’m trying all sorts of memory tricks and trying to associate all sorts of features. My goal is to get to a point I don’t have to deal with any of the scenarios mentioned above. They provide some funny stories, but some headaches I’d rather avoid. But even with the knowledge of the name thing, I have a few questions for you.
Ladies, why is it such a big deal for a man to forget your name as opposed to another woman? Do you even think this is the case? How do you react when someone forgets your name? Fellas, do you react differently when a man vs. a woman forgets your name? When you forget who someone is, what tricks do you use to get around the shenanigans? All other thoughts and comments are welcome.
I’m Human,
I apologize…i dont recollect your name *jeremih voice*
Fellas, do you react differently when a man vs. a woman forgets your name?
Depend on who the guy is, if he is someone i want to know who i am i’m alot more patient than dude from the gym. If its a female, i’ll usually just overdramatize the fact that she doesnt know it, she’ll laugh and i’ll proceed to reintroduce myself or flirt
depending on her attractiveness.
When you forget who someone is, what tricks do you use to get around the shenanigans?
I’ll call every dude “fam” if they are older “sir” and every woman “sweetie” if they are older “miss”, until i hear the name or find someone to tell me. I remember one time i heard a wrong name and called her it and had to make up a story on the spot how she reminded me of this girl #clutchgene. But for the most part i’m pretty good with names/faces thats part of my mystique as an introvert I always start off in the cut and analyze.
That's funny. I think about how rarely I actually say people's names. I haven't said my friends' names to them in some time.
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It doesn't really matter to me if it's a man or woman, I'd like for my name to be remembered either way lol. When people don't remember mine, I feel like I failed to make an impression, but I don't get mad the person for that. If I see somebody struggling with my name, I just reintroduce myself and tell them where we met. I may throw in one of those quips about me knowing their name but I always try to make it clear that I'm kidding.
I used to be horrible with name. Not because I have a bad memory, but because I didn't try to remember them. At introduction, I would process "Hi. My name is ______." And immediately afterwards I'm no lnger paying attention because I'm all like "Crap! I forgot to pay attention to their name!" I usually go on pretending that I remember their name for the rest of the convo, hoping to never have to call them by their name any time soon.
Since I have that problem it never really bothered me when anyone forgot my name. Although, women tend to be honest about it and just say "Hey what was your name again?" Men, on the other hand, tend to call you pet names instead (which is a dead give away btw) and seem to refuse to give up that L.
" Men, on the other hand, tend to call you pet names instead (which is a dead give away btw) and seem to refuse to give up that L."
Yeah Babes men are notorious for that….and older folks too….lol
We don't like to take that L because we know what will ensue from previous experience.lol.
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booooooooooooo……why are men such punks when it comes to women Slim? lol
i guess you can develop app – face recognition where the person name pops up or eye recognition for glasses where it tells the person name into your ear through your earpiece – for the iphone then you never have to exercise your mine or your eyes. just a blob writing a blog. lol
I want to make an app like that but you take a pic and it brings up their facebook or twitter…i just need to find a coder that wont zuckerburg me later lol
Nayonowen
Meant to say that is a good idea Nayonowen
I feel like this was part of the premise of an anime show… ‘eden of the East’ I think
Look up prosopagnosia. You might have a slight case of it.
Honestly, how I feel about a person forgetting my name depends on how they handle not remembering me. If a guy looks sincere and once I give him a trigger he's like, YES! or whatever I'm not giving it too much thought, but if it seems like some kind of game or holla holla holla holla holla holla holla holla (Dave Chappell gave us so many classic lines, LOL!) I'm all side-eye.
Honestly, I tend to remember faces and where I met a person, and I'd say 90 percent of the time I remember their name. If I don't remember, it's because I wasn't trying to OR I was a little bit overserved and never got a good grasp of it in the first place.
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I just looked that up and now you got me wondering if I have undiagnosed brain damage! lol.
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LOL! I didn't mean to scare you. A humor columnist I read (Gene Weingarten) suffers from this and your post made me think about it. It's gon' be alright baby. *hugs Slim*
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lol!
I don't remember anybody not remembering my name. I usually remember most people but I sure feel rotten when I don't remember a person's name. I'll tell you, I used to run into this girl and her sister all the time. I knew them from piano lessons and then later, school but dang they were always so excited and happy, I felt bad not remembering their names. I would run into them so often my hubs started clowning me for not knowing their names. Then, I got a facebook request from one of them and I was like oooooooooohhhhhh. lol When I was a photographer, kids would be happy and the parents would be impressed that you remembered their names. I would remember most kids but as a secret weapon to make sure I did, I'd write their names down on the ticket. I used to get a lot of outlandish names though and those were easy to remember. It was the plain names that were hardest to remember. Do you forget a lot of other things though? Maybe you could work on improving your memory. Do some sudoku or something.
I have a short attention span. Even at work someone will ask me for something one moment then I'll forget the next because someone else came to me. I'm pretty good about random information. I'm known for recalling details from years ago that the other person had no clue they told me. So I win in that regard.lol
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I have poor listening skills when it comes to work stuff. Mostly cause people here blather on and on. If you want me to remember what you just told me, you should write that down cause I may be looking at you, but I am not listening.
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Damn Slim I'm the same way so ur not alone bro…..crazy thing about my memory is I can remember anything to music. Like how people forget the words to songs…I never and I mean never forget words to songs. Sometimes while they are performing I've seen people forget the words to their own songs that they wrote or sang a million times…..lol that wouldn't be me.
I also remember "useless" information………I'm tha bomb at Jeapordy……I would rack up fo sho….lol
To piggyback off of this, you could get their business cards, write relevant info on the back…orkeep a mini-notebook (moleskine is what I use) and you can keep notes on people you meet
Ladies, why is it such a big deal for a man to forget your name as opposed to another woman?
It is usually the other way around. I'm always the one who forgets someone's name. It was this one time at work when this woman kept calling me the wrong name. I just corrected her each time.
How do you react when someone forgets your name?
Knowing that memory isn't my strong point, I don't hold it against them.
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You know, I don't mind people forgetting my name or even my face. The difference is when I've met someone like five times and they've interacted with me on various platforms and still act like they don't know who I am. At that point, it comes off as intentional…which makes it a bit of an issue.
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Ladies, why is it such a big deal for a man to forget your name as opposed to another woman?
It's not a big deal to me at all. If it's a guy I flirt with him and mess with him about forgetting my name. If it's a woman I'll pick with her about it (but not flirt of course) and keep the convo moving right along.
Recently a man I see at work thought my name was DJ. He called me that all the time and I never corrected him. Finally one day on our way out he asked me, "what does DJ stand for?" I politely said, as far as I know it stands for Disc Jockey, (he was an older older white man). He had the most incredulous look on his face and said thats not really your name is it?? Seriously? That look and reaction was hilarious too me and I laughed and said no, and by the way DJ isn't my name either and told him my name. He said "omg I'm so embarrassed, you never said anything." He turned that shade of beet red many white folks turn when thoroughly embarrassed.
Whhhhhhhhhhhy? Bree. Why? I don't understand why people let people call them the wrong thing. THAT is the worst.
In that situation I thought it was funny. I never really liked my real first name anyway, which is why I have "alias's." *wink* So when people call me another name it doesn't bother me much. I actually don't like when people call me by my real name cause I don't really like it. Nobody calls me by my name really. I have nicknames. Now if I really loved my name it would probably bother me a lot and be a big deal, but since I don't, it's not.
Girl when I first started college I had braids in my hair….people told me I looked African…lol I thought that was funny and would talk African. They started calling me "little Africa." One girl in my dorm thought my name was Africa and was asking me questions about it like where it came from. I laughed and told her that wasn't my real name. She said if it was it would be really pretty…I told her my real name, and she was like "oh." I find it humorous. But thats just me. I know everybody doesn't think stuff like that is funny.
I do however understand getting upset when ur supervisor or people you work closely with don't remember ur name. But I've never had anyone I worked with not know my name so……….
And I rarely forget people's names who I work with or anyone I meet with. I make it a point to remember peoples names in business.
Ya know, when it comes to business stuff, I'm good about it. I think that's because of the setting I'm meeting the people in. If we just sat and chatted for an hour one-on-one, there's really no excuse to not remember unless I suffered head trauma. Pause.
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Exactly Slim…cosign on that …that is me….but I admit I have to really focus a little more to remember pertinent info in work related situations. I honestly probably don't remember names of people outside of supervisors and VIP's because I probably don't try as hard to and am less focused.
I've not always been a fan of my first name either but I wasn't letting folks call me Kristen or anything. I let ya'll get away with calling me Krys. That is just so embarrassing though. This dude used to deliver Pepsi to one of my jobs and when I first met him it was noisy and I could've sworn he said his name was Mike. He let me call him that for at least eight or nine months. Finally, he came in with his beard shaved one day and I was like Mike is that you? He was like "No, I'm Joe." I thought he was playing. He had to show me his ID. He said he just let me call him Mike all of that time. Same thing with a couple of other dudes. Normally it's a variation of the name that I was confused on. Was calling a dude Darius for the longest and his name was Darren. Then my nephew never makes people say his name right, either. I never understand why people let folks do that. That has to be one of my biggest pet peeves.
Yes. My gubmint name is spelled one way and pronounced another and people say or spell it wrong all the time and I always correct them. Gently the first time only.
What kills me is when someone sends me work email — which has my name spelled out in the address — and my name is spelled wrong in the body of the email. I usually correct them in the email even if it's cc'd etc. Bish move, but whatever, get my damn name right.
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lol….I feel u on that Sassy…if it's right there in the email address they shouldn't be spelling it wrong when using it in the email. That is just not paying attention.
And why do u not like your name Ms. Krystl???? I would pay $5.00 for your name girl….lol
And probably the reason why those guys didn't care about you calling them the wrong name is because they liked you.
I laughed some more and said sweetly, "you can call me whatever u want, as long as u call me and I'm on your mind." He turned 2 more shades of beet red and smiled. He said "well at least I know your name now, but I wonder where I got DJ from?" I said I don't know, maybe I remind u of a DJ, maybe I was a DJ in another life. We laughed about that and he has since used my name whenever I see him and will probably never forget who I am.
I think for most women it's a big deal if a man forgets her name because many women have the attitude of "if I look good and got it going on men should be dreaming about me day and nite, how could they not when I'm so fierce." And of course if they like the man and have said or done something to try to impress him it hurts their ego's and feelings when he doesn't remember him and they start thinking, "this kneegro probably has too many womens names to remember." Women whose names u forget probably think that about u all the time
You said a lot of what's been discussed over drumsticks and french fries. There are certain personalities more likely to give the abrasive reaction, even though they could be awesome people otherwise.
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"You said a lot of what's been discussed over drumsticks and french fries. " Whats that mean Slim?
It's almost 3:30 and I'm tired as hell right now and ready to go home. So I'm on E right now…..lol
"this kneegro probably has too many womens names to remember."
the Lady makes a good point….
Slim. I think with other women it depends on the situation and the woman's conceit and/or confidence level.
Men who are full of themselves are the same way if u forget who they are.
How do you react when someone forgets your name? I playfully pick with them about it. But thats just me. I'm a playful person and don't sweat the small stuff. I have never got offended that someone forgot my name or mispronounced it or whatever because I forget and mispronounce folks names all the time. We're only human and it's rarely intentional. To me it's foolish to go off on somebody who forgot your name if that person has only seen u once or twice and didn't spend an entire day and nite with you.
When you forget who someone is, what tricks do you use to get around the shenanigans? All other thoughts and comments are welcome.
One trick that typically works is to repeat the person's name as often as u can. The more you say it the more u will remember it. For some reason the more unusual a persons name is the better I remember it. I'm good with foreign folks, and I can properly pronounce their names.
I'll tell you what sucks. Remembering a person you want to forget.
Ya know, this does suck. It sucks a lot. Wish I could thumb this up 4 times.lol
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Yes Lawd Krystl……
*fans self with church fan and rocks while humming a spiritual*
I used to be great with names and faces, until I started working part-time for a health club ten years ago. When you're meeting 15-20 new people every week, you tend to forget most of them.
It's pretty embarassing when someone comes up to you, with great ebullience in their voice and says, "Hey (your name)!" And you don't have even the slightest clue of who they are. I just say hey, engage in conversation (probably), never say their name and hope they don't ask.
Another thing to try is remembering something about them. Something about them will hopefully stay with you. Like a color they wore, their voice, glasses they wore, perfume, or something they tell you about themselves. Try to remember their name in association to something else u remember about them. If u see the person and still can't remember their name mention whatever u remember about them First, then just tell them that you cannot remember their name. It's not as bad and diffuses the fact that you can't recall their name if u can remember something else specific about them or something they told you.
If I can't remember a persons name I just say "hey how are you? I start a convo and ask them questions.
This also helps. Don't say their name, ask them some questions and many times that will jog your memory and u will recall their name based on what they tell you. This is especially helpful if u think u may be confusing that person with someone else u know and ur not sure if it's them or not.
You can also associate their name with something u know u will remember or something u have in common with them. Like if u drive the same kind of car as them or you both worked at the same place or whatever.
There's a lot of things u can do to help u always remember people's names…..you just have to train your brain.
Google – how to remember names…I'm sure they have some exercises you can do to improve your memory with names.
When I was younger, I used to be good at remember names. Now, I'm the worst so I don't take it personally when someone forgets my name. I let people know that I'm not good at remembering names so I apologize if I don't remember and they usually aren't offended. I have to meet someone a few times in order for their name to stick. If I see them at an event and then don't run into them again for a couple months, I don't think their should be an expectation to remember their name.
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When I was younger, I used to be good at remember names. Now, I'm the worst so I don't take it personally when someone forgets my name. I let people know that I'm not good at remembering names so I apologize if I don't remember and they usually aren't offended. I have to meet someone a few times in order for their name to stick. If I see them at an event and then don't run into them again for a couple months, I don't think their should be an expectation to remember their name.
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Cosign Diva.
I'm a people person WHEN IT COUNTS, in other words, I don't care too much for those that I know will never serve much of a purpose to me. Have never been much of a "sociable/outgoing" person so I guess you can call me Hermit.
I usually remember faces, but have never been good with names and could careless if they remember mine (which, most of the time, they do… "Candi", how ironic, lol) But, being as though I work with the public, it's kind of required of me to remember unnecessary people LOL, so when they tell me their name, I repeat it to myself and as we are casually conversating, I answer back with "answer+name". It usually works.
I've been trying that repeat name with answers trick and it feels awkward.lol. It does help though, at least in the moment…which I guess is what's important…until next time.
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When I first started, it was really weird trying to get into the habit of things. "Yes, Mr. so-n-so", "thank you Ms. so-n-so", "Ms. so-n-so, would you like…." after practicing so much, it's became a regular habit, even off the clock. There is also this other funny, weird thing that I do where someone will tell me their name and I'll mimick it back to them in a funny way, real drawn out. "Ooooohhhh so your name is Sliiiiimmmm Jaccckkksooonnn" LMAO!!! Too funny!! and maybe a joke or 2, "any relation to Michael, Janet and them?" It works though!!
If this works for ya, super – let me just tell ya though: the person with the last name Jackson that gets the "any relation to Michael, Janet and them?" will most likely stoneface you because they have heard that a million and seven times. Trust me, not the greatest first impression. I'd rather you forget my name then tell me the same joke about my name that I've heard alllll my life.
Not that it's that serious, but ijs.
You see the funny thing here is I wasn't trying to make a first impression on you, nor was I making one on Mr. Jackson here. Speed reading usually makes people miss the the climax of a message and being as though I have sense enough to know that this particular name reference "Jackson" is a most "usual" one, all the more reason for me to use it as an "example". It's called a joke.
I'm just saying
Yes Candi all those work really well.
Interesting. I never assume people remember my name, or surprisingly even me for that matter!
What really gets me is when random people whom I've had THEE most routine Q+A session that is the story of my life:
How tall are you?
Do you play basketball?
Why don't you play (anymore)
Who's tall in your family?
Is your husband/boyfriend tall?
…..expect me to remember them if we come in contact again.
Reminds me of the Mase from Why you over there looking at me
He didnt tell you I was the one with no panties?/ Boo, you know how many he meet with no panties?
I get these questions everyday of my life, multiple times a day sometime. No days off, unless I go straight to work and straight home afterwards. You really expect me to remember you?!
When I use to sub in Newark, I was able to remember several students name at once. It was all a strategy of mine to ensure a smooth day of work. Durning roll-call, I would call the students name, if the student looked like a trouble maker (they are usually the ones TOO excited that there is a sub and have been talking non-stop since they came into class) repeat it in my head a couple of times while looking at him/her. Then send roll down to the office. By that time, they think you've forgotten their name. It' was only a matter of time before they really started acting up! But once I used their names to address them, they were pretty surprised, more respectful and more receptive to do what told them. They also knew that if I had to call security, it was a wrap because I knew their names.
Call security? Word? it gets like that out there in classrooms?
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You must have skipped over where I said "Newark".
Classy I'm from Philly so I feel u on that….lol
This is my life. The sad part is that I am outgoing and personable and will start the convo up. IDGAF. However, I will introduce you to someone so that you can say your name
lol at the introduction. i've done that before. Start with the name I know, mumble and trail off, then watch the magic happen.
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Boooooooo @ PEYSO & Slim….yall think yall so damn slick! hmph.
I am the opposite. I remember people's names and weird facts about them Like "oh yeah I think you were in my kindergarten class and one day you ate a blue crayon, your name is Jared right" 0_o Its not my fault I have such a weird memory!
Sometimes I just act like I don't remember people so that I don't look like a stalker or look like in crushin, but if I can't remember their name I usually remember a small detail about their life that they may not even remember saying..
LOL Names have always been my shortfall. I used to forget my fomer co-workers' names, and I saw them everyday. I blame it on being a former reporter. I interacted daily with so many people. The names blended together. At least I remembered faces.
As a result I don't take care if people forget my name. I tend to hide in the background anyway so I can observe (and report). Usually, I'm more surprised when they do remember my actual name. Most people just call me newspaper lady (yet I don't work there anymore).
I once saw a button that said, "Let me call you sweetheart, because I don't remember your name." That's one way of dealing with it lol.
I have to warn people upon first meeting how horrible I am with names. The simpler your name, the worse it is for me. My memory just does not work that way. I have a photographic memory, and my other strength is music. If you hand me your buisiness card, give me the opportunity to write it down (sometimes I walk with a notepad), or….make your name into a song (lol) we are good. You tell me your name and I will watch it evaporate into thin air as my memory focuses on remembering your face.
Shoot, I met the SBM fam at the Black Enterprise Blogger thing and I couldn't tell you their names if I was being waterboarded.
As far as my name, I just assume you won't remember it, so whenever I see a person, I re-introduce myself, and how we met. My name has been turned into more re-incarnations than a little bit, and I don't even bother with the spanish pronounciation of it, it's just too painful to hear. I will say you get automatic bonus points as a dude if you can pronounce my name correctly…in my ear. **chills**
People always try to throw an "h" into my name where there is none…grates my nerves an irrational amount.
And no one spells it right, like ever.
If I can't remember a persons name during a conversation and we have to exchange info I ask for their number and say "How do you spell your name again?".
I'm absolutely terrible at names. Unless the person introduces themselves via LAST name. Because of my job, those tend to stick in my brain for at least a couple of days. Beyond that, I'm very much "out of sight, out of mind".
I think I got it from my mother. She routinely goes through the names of her other four children, her multitude of nieces, nephews, grandkids, and siblings before she gets to my name. I now answer to anything that sounds vaguely like it could be directed to/at me when around her.
My usual means of not insulting someone by letting them know I don't recall their name is to say "Hey!" and launch into conversation. 🙂 Sometimes I feel bad, but those who matter know that I've diagnosed myself as having mild dementia, so they just shake their heads and let it go.
Yo! What’s my name? We met at 14th and Park last Friday and you were telling me something about writing for a bunch of different blogs and I was thinking you’re pretty tall and that must be exhausting and you kept looking away and I was thinking “he doesn’t like me” so I said “you dont like me” and you said “what?!” And I said I was kidding. But I kind wasn’t. Remember?
I don’t remember your name. LMAO. I have the worst memory. I never remember a name unless i see it written down. I forget the names of people i work with. I forget the names of old friends and past lovers. Id forget my own name if it wasn’t nailed down. Whenever I’m talking about tv or movies, its always, you know that one white haired guy on that show who is having an affair with the redhead with the curvy body?
And faces? If I don’t see you for a while, I will forget your face. Im always saying “dont i know you from somewhere?”. But I guess its easier if you’re a girl.
I just tell people “i have the worst memory. I always forget names. What’s your name again?”. IF they get mad, whatever.
ha! I know now that everybody I've met or will meet who reads this will beat me over the head with the name thing just to see if I sweat.lol. I should've known this was coming.
And yeah, it is easier if you're a woman. I'm convinced. It just seems more innocent and hidden of ulterior motives.
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This is me *smh*
I can't picture my own mother's face right this instant, I promise.
What's weird is I can remember PICTURES of faces sometimes, but not actual faces.
Actors/Musicians/Celebrities names are always on the tip of my tongue but I just can't spit them out. My brain just filters that info out as irrelevant to leave more room for recipes and such, lol #FatGirlProblems
When making introductions in professional situations, (*especially* when they go around the room), I'm so focused on what I'm supposed to say, (name/title/department/location…name/title/department/location…) that I have absolutely *no room* in my brain to store others names!!! But in social situations, I either remember, or am sure to ask for business cards (from those I want to remember).
Others remembering me? I'm with Classy6ft5: I'm surprised when others do.
And I agree with Bree: most times, when women react negatively about you forgetting their names, it's because they are conceited! They just KNEW they left an impression with you that was UN-for-GET-able!! And they are shocked and in complete *awe* the moment they realize that you forgot! (How DARE you!!) Either that, or they were feelin you, and thought yall had a vibe or connection, and when they find out you can't recall who they are, (or if you can recall, but just cant remember their name), they feel a stab of rejection. Hence, the side-eye.
But, I wouldn't hold it against a guy. And you? Dude, you meet lots of folks, and like most celebrities ;), there's absolutely *no way* you can keep up with them all! (I actually remember asking you about this very topic, last week. Guess it sparked a write-up!) It's always gonna be an uphill battle. That is, until Tristan creates that app. 😉 But in the meantime, good luck…I'm sure you haven't seen your last side-eye!
Appreciate the comment, and yes, this has been on my mind since last week.lol. I need to go upthread because I saw what Bree said on that and then someone asked for a TPS report. I didn't want to throw that word out there, but I've thought it at times when I've met certain folks.
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whats TPS???
Slim have u ever played the "name game" at those Fred Pryor/Dale Carnegie seminar type things????
I know u must hate those with a passion….although those jedi mind tricks do work and help most people remember names.
Yo, I love Fred Pryor seminars! Been to three of them joints. I have played the name game…but I can't remember any of them today.lol
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Moni what celebrity….bwwaaaahhhhh…..lmbao…..girl Slim ain't no celebrity….lol j/k Sli*** what was your name again????? lol ha ha
Forreal tho Slim don't feel bad about not remembering names…..just let folks know what u do and they ought to understand…if they don't F em.
Ugh! I know this struggle all too well!! *smh* I'm horrible with names! Especially when I'm meeting a whole blitz of new people at once, it's shameful. I hate it, hate it , hate it!
Ladies, why is it such a big deal for a man to forget your name as opposed to another woman?
Um, duh Slim. Because we are obviously the most special person that you will ever meet and if you remember NOTHING else from your evening out, you should remember making our acquaintance because we are special!! Each and every one of us! I probably changed your whole life from our lil 2 minutes interaction in DC. You're welcome.*
How do you react when someone forgets your name?
Depends on the situation. If I forgot them too, I'll respond with a sigh of relief and reintroduce myself.
If I have told them my name a thousand times, I'm probably annoyed and don't bother telling them again.
But if we're simply acquaintances and I have no reason to expect them to remember me specifically I just remind them of my name, make a joke, and KIM. It's not an affront unless it's an ongoing issue
or we've seen each other naked.When you forget who someone is, what tricks do you use to get around the shenanigans?
True Story: I had a neighbor that I couldn't remember her name for my LIFE and we were neighbors for 5 years and she's the chatty type. So I had several ways of getting around this. I'd ask to put her number in my phone again and ask her to spell her name for me. This backfired cause it was a real simple name. lol, she's like,, "um, it's A-N-N, just like it sounds". Doh! But I got the name
and promptly forgot it again. When she'd call I'd just pretend not to recognize her voice until she identified herself. And when out with someone she didn't know I'd quickly alert them to the situation and ask them to please introduce themself and ask for her name for me….sad I know….so sad. *smh* One day I just put her in my phone as "Neighbor – Ann" then I could reference my contacts to get her name. *smh**For the sarcasm impaired, that was a joke. We do all think we're special and life changing, but obviously we all can't be to every person, every time….
Cracked up at the neighbor's name being Ann. That does make it awkward for the "how do you spell your name?" I guess it could've been Anne.lol.
I got the sarcasm right away. Yet, I feel like it's reflective of what some perceive to be the truth. Bree noted something similar up thread. As usual, thanks for dropping in.
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lol at Star……I sometimes hate networking and doing business meetings because it gets waaaaay too overwhelming….I hate sometimes just meeting people because even if I remember their name, I forget why I have their number or card.
So don't feel Star…..I always put notes of how I know a person in my phone and on their business cards so I remember who they are, otherwise I'm looking at their number when I go thru my phone purging phase wondering, "Jonathan – who the hell is Jonathan? Where did I meet this person? Why do I have their number?"
It's also fairly easy to remember the name of someone who has the same name as someone u are close to or a family member or your child. This is how I remember b-days, cause I'm even worse at remembering people's b-days. I can barely remember my own brothers and sister and bff's b-day. I only seem to remember people whose b-day is around the same time as mine……go figure.
I will remember a name, but not the face. Or the face, but not the name. But never the twain shall meet. What's worse is that sometimes I don't like what people's mamas have named them, so I give them a "better" name. On some, "you look like a Vanessa to me. Not a Stephanie." And that's what I call them in my head. So, if we see each other I have to try really hard not to call them by their new name. It's even worse when someone is gushing and excited to see you, introducing you folks and you like, "who are you? What is your name?!?" My mother says this is just part of being grown and you just gotta keep things real and funky, look folks in the eye and say, "I'm sorry. What was your name again?" And I know that people have done it to me and I don't mind it, but it still feels just so awkward when the tables are turned.
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aaaahhhh….Diana I do the same thing. I rename and/or nickname people all the time.
Like Slim or Dr. J or anybody else I converse with online for ex, even if I got to know them really well and know their real names I will never remember their real names. I will only remember Slim and Dr. J.
I'm decent at remembering names and the such, but do struggle at times. If I don't remember a young woman's name when I approach them usually I'll just ask, "I'm sorry, I know we've met….what's your name again?"
If the woman/man approaches me and acts like we've met plenty of times I'll just go along with the conversation until something clicks and when it clicks and I remember I'm usually good and spitting off 5 or 6 different things I know about you, lol.
However ,normally, if I'm out with a homeboy or two I will revert to the "name game". Everyone probably does this in one way shape or form, but basically a woman comes up and is talking to you and you clearly don't remember her name…you casually introduce her to your homeboy right fast…"Oh, this is my dude…" and then your homey takes over, "Hi, I'm Jerome..what's your name?" …and boom, she's her name and you're in like flyn.
What about if u work with and have lunch with people and like 3 or 4 of em got the same damn first or last name? That's really a pain in the azz trying to remember who is who.
I work with and go to lunch with sometimes 3 women named Kathy……I mix them up all the time. I say "U know, Kathy with the glasses, or funny Kathy, or Kathy with the short hair or mean Kathy" or whatever….lol.
People remember great detail of those who make an impression on them. Someone who makes an impact on your life, your emotional state, someone who can potentially impact your career, etc. etc. People who are powerful and impactful to you for whatever reason, those are the names you remember. Everyone else is like fodder and fade into the background of the subconscious.
I'm better with faces than I am names…I'm ridiculously good with faces. Pretty good with names if we actually talked a bit.
I usually don't even go out of my way to speak to anyone that I don't know know…but if someone looks familiar, I wait for signs that they recognize me first before I speak. If they come up to me and I don't remember them, I ask how we know each other.
LOL These comments are great! I too never remember names. But I rarely ever apologize for it, probably because I'm a woman and honestly dudes don't seem to care if you forget their names. Makes a man want to make you remember his name.
I don't have any memory tricks when I forget names. But recently, I met a guy and there was a lot of activity going on. He told me his name, but it didn't stick. Well, he contacted me for a date via text. Luckily, my best friend and his friend went on a date prior to us going out. I asked her to find out my date's name without revealing that I didn't know. Honestly, I was going to ask him via text how did he spell his name. Good thing I didn't do that. It's like asking that question only for him to spell his name A-d-a-m. Not good… Anyway, my best friend just straight out asked. I wasn't too shamed. But he definitely called me on it when I arrived at the restaurant for our date.
My problem is that my brain shuts out sound at the very moment that a person is saying their name, and then picks back up right as they finish. I would often try to be slick and ask people how to spell their name (even for basic names, Brian could easily be spelt Bryan), but these days I just apologize, tell them I'm terrible with names and ask for theirs again. The worst is when you've seen & spoken to someone for months beyond the point where it makes no sense for you to not know their name. People have generally been forgiving though, and I now make a greater effort to commit names to memory. Faces, I have zero problem with.
My first name is not common, so I get frequent requests for reminders on how to pronounce it from even people who know how to spell it perfectly. I don't think I've ever gotten offended that someone forgot my name, but it's likely because I myself am not terrific at the memory game.
I don’t get uptight if someone forgets my name. We have enough information that we’re trying to keep track of these days, plus I blame old college habits for my memory lapses from time to time. But, I will say, I never forget a face. I can meet someone once or have a brief conversation and will be able to remember their face. (Maybe it is because I have a great visual memory or because I get a lot of practice memorizing my student’s faces and names as well as their parents.) At least you’re trying to remedy the situation (which is crucial for networking). For casual encounters, I wouldn’t really stress it. There’s nothing wrong with getting a name reminder, but for networking, you got to keep working on that. At least try to remember their face, especially if you come across them more than once. The next time you meet someone, try to make their name stick by associating it with something. Pick a feature that really stands out and associate it with their name. If it is an important potential contact stick with the business card method or take a pic of the on the low lol! Well…maybe not 🙂 Anyway, I love reading the blogs and enjoy the humor (mongoose droppings/ martini breath was hilarious) and insight on different topics! Keep it up!