Home Featured You Share That Girl: Why Claiming Ownership Over Former Lovers Is Idiotic

You Share That Girl: Why Claiming Ownership Over Former Lovers Is Idiotic

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Chris mad she let me Watch The Throne!

I was watching an old episode of VH1 Behind The Music, and it featured Nas and his story. Anytime Nas or Jay-Z are brought up, social media automatically gets into the age old “>” battle between the two artists. I felt as if we were back in high school and college arguingwho was better, who was what battles, comparing albums, etc. One point that’s always brought up by Jay-Z fans (who automatically hate Nas because they take a gang mentality towards the two artists), is that Jay-Z smashed Nas’s baby mama, so he lost.

Recently, it seems as if Chris Brown is catching feelings over Rihanna once again. The homie Karen Civil wrote on her site:

The drama continues as Meek [Mill] and RiRi were at LIV together last night. Allegdedly, Chris Brown and Meek had worked on a song together and once the news of Rihanna and Meek partying together got out, Chris took Meek of the song.

This led to a furious exchange of subtweets between Meek, Chris Brown, and apparently Drake. All over a woman who is no longer with Chris (or currently with any of those other dudes). This boggles my mind, and I have to ask a stupid question: Why do people claim ownership over former lovers?

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So if the mother of my child has sex with another man whom I have issues with, that’s a knock on me? That reflects negatively on a man? Really?! If you have a child with someone and you aren’t together any longer, how are their actions still linked to you? That is the epitome of a closed minded hood mentality. We have conned ourselves to believe that wifey = wife; that impregnating a woman gives men a lifetime contract to their box, and all associated privileges. Phrases like “I can have as many bitches as I want. She can’t be f*ckin other dudes tho!” are representative of this foolish ideal. So you diss me by saying that you boned my ex, yet they are an ex for a reason right? As a young boy, I would have took that personal. Now, I salute and tell you to have fun, because I’ve had my fill. You think that by claiming ownership over these women, that you are wielding power over them. On the contrary, you exhibit immense weakness when you show that you care about that former lovers interaction with new people.

Then you have people who love to play the claim game. Women know exactly what I’m talking about too. You all have that girlfriend who had a fling with some dudes 5 years ago, and is now deeply involved in a relationship or married. When you mention that you are interested in said fling,  they will go into anaphylactic shock and have you swear to them that you will renounce these lustful feelings. Why should they care? Why does anyone care?! I make it a habit to give away clothes I know I will no longer wear to the Salvation Army. If I saw someone randomly walking down the street in that shirt, and I got upset at them, wouldn’t that make me foolish? Especially if I currently have clothes that I wear and like now? If it’s foolish in that regard, then why no in the case of former lovers. Sure,

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It’s like people don’t realize that life goes on after any type of relationship runs its course. How can you get mad at the next man for talking to your ex because he knows you? That’s a true juvenile mentality if I ever saw one. Newsflash: if you have good taste, and your exes are attractive, then people will be interested too and will try their luck. Just because a dude knows you on Twitter doesn’t mean that your ex is off limits. You look like a child when you react to the actions of an ex. They hold power over you, know what buttons to push, and will have fun at the expense of your fragile ego. Don’t think that others can’t see this too. They will manipulate you because they know your weakness. A weakness that you perceive as a strength.

Relationships come and go. Every experience, whether it was a one night stand or a 5 year commitment, help to shape you as a person and teach you a life lesson. When you hold ownership emotionally or mentally over past lovers, it hinders your growth and shows that you’re not mature enough to get over those people. You’ll never #BeBetter claiming ownership over old lovers. You’ll just be a puppet.

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What value does the actions of former lovers hold in your current life? Do you have any stories on how you may have fallen down this rabbit hole of emotional defeat? Do men and women react and handle these situations differently?

StreetZ

Comment(87)

  1. I’ve always wondered why people think the way you just described. Another way of putting it is the Female Friends’ Golden Rule- Thou Shall Not Date/Screw The Ex, as if that is an act of Insult or Disrespect

    1. Well as for me personally, I wouldn’t date one of my homegirls eX’s but that’s just me tho!! Too many dudes out here — I don’t need my friends sloppy seconds.

      #NoJudgementTho

      Do you.

    2. ive always followed that rule, and its mostly to keep drama out of your female relationships, guys have come and gone, but I've had the same best friend for over 20 years, you don't date the people who were important to them, a lot of the times you know all the good, the bad, and the ugly, so you wouldnt want to anyway, its never been a particularly hard rule for me, but then my girls are like my sisters, we're family and family is about love AND loyalty.

  2. I definitely "get" what you're saying here, but there's definitely a code among me and my boys that we don't date each other's ex's. I mean, if it was something like they just went on a few dates and nothing happened then its one thing, but I can't imagine a woman being with my fried for say a year or more and then they break up and we get together. I mean, its definitely possible, but then I become a part of this whole love triangle thing that just gets confusing and possibly frustrating. I've heard about stuff like comparisons on love making, or stuff that was supposed to be in a vault being told like it was nothing.
    My recent post The Simplex Method

  3. As someone who's currently dating my best friend's once extremely serious ex… I really don't get this either. What with all the stats about "the perpetually alone black woman" that flood my inbox daily, I don't see why I should ban all women within a 7000 mile radius from touching a guy just because I let him fiddle with my love box once in a back corner at a party (not that I'm that kinda girl… NEVER!)

    My girl and I are pretty strange that way according to people, we've dated about 5 or 6 guys and made notes and laughed about it later. Never been a problem. Frankly I assume guys I date will be attracted to her and she will possibly be attracted to them coz we're so much like the same person. I don't let it stress me too much.

    Point of this is… LET IT GO PEOPLE!!! It can't be healthy for you to keep stressing over your ex, climb the next horse and keep it moving

  4. What value does the actions of former lovers hold in your current life?

    None, zip, nada, zilch. Especially at my age, any Mrs that were misses can be chalked up to being young and naive. If she was acting up on Saturday and i was greasing her scalp on Sunday thats a different story, but once we break up you no longer represent me go forth and show em what Trizzy taught you.

    Do you have any stories on how you may have fallen down this rabbit hole of

    emotional defeat?

    I have but looking back it was my fault. I may have led on so in her mind its only right to feel some type of way when i got a new boopiece. I’ve also been on the other ends of the spectrums doing the whole unofficial thing and dude came thru and swooped her, i’ve also planted stakes in girls who may have been talking to an ex at the time. All three situations led to unnecessary drama and i probably could’ve handled them differently.

    Do men and women react and handle these situations differently?

    The Chris/Rihanna/Meek scenario is funny because its usually the dudes who are in the middle. Like i said in a comment the other day, men are real reluctant to give up women they already put in a lot of work in getting. They’ll always try to keep a foot in the door in some way or another even through deception. Women i think are alot more aggressive these days, suddenly its not even about the aint ish two timing ninja she want but the next heaux. I’ve seen far too many scenarios when the dude was clearly playing both sides but both sides were too busy on eachother to notice. Lately its the women who gotta fight every night to prove they love.

    1. "once we break up you no longer represent me go forth and show em what Trizzy taught you." <~ absolutely love it!!

      and as bad as I hate to admit it, I'm going through this ~> "men are real reluctant to give up women they already put in a lot of work in getting. They'll always try to keep a foot in the door in some way or another even through deception." …. right now!! smh

    2. This reminds me of the question "Does over really mean over?" Does its over mean that s/he doesn't still call you up when lonely? Are they still friends (with/without benefits)? Does either still have feelings for the other and is there a chance of them getting back together?
      My recent post My Sudoku Program

  5. The only people still playing the claim game are the people that haven't moved on even though they could've been the one to leave the other person. When a person has moved on and found the person they really want and can/will be with them, they don't have time to be trying to claim somebody from a dead relationship, because their time is focused on the living relationship.

    1. Paul B. "The only people still playing the claim game are the people that haven't moved on even though they could've been the one to leave the other person."

      This. It would appear that at least subconsciously, they realized they made a mistake by letting their ex go.

      1. No, I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying at the same time I have no interest in who my exes are dating. I personally wouldn't holla at one of my homies's ex woman under any circumstances.

        1. Understood..

          My ex could date WHOMEVER just as long as it ain't one of my girls and/or family members — I'm good.

    2. Bingo…..there it is right there Paul B. If u still got feelings for that person and possibly want them back then that clearly explains the anger u feel when they are with someone u know and/or are close to.

  6. If meek mill and chris were actually friends and this went down I could see why he would be salty, because I feel like this: my EX is OFF LIMITS to my friends and of course family members.m

    It’s like an unwritten rule that me and my girls abide by, it’s not worth ruining a frienship over someone’s ex.. The man shortage ain’t that tough!!

    1. True but this situation is a little sticky because it’s so public and both artist are in the same industry and hang in the same circles. Remember how crazy Kanye went for a period of time when he found out Amber was with Wiz.

  7. I don't think we have all the information we need to really assess this situation from these celebrities. A few things… 1) We always think that these artists are really that close. They're not. They have like 40 person entourages, so another artist could never really be any closer than their 41st friend. This doesn't include other people on their label. So Meek, Drake and Chris Brown really ain't all that close to begin with. 2) As it pertains to the track, most tracks aren't made with everyone in the studio at the same time, meaning that it's a strong possibility that Meek and Chris Brown did that track without ever spending a minute in the studio with each other. 3) The only person we know for a fact was with Rihanna is Chris Brown. The Honorable R. Kelly and R. Isley teach us, "Just because you see me with her, doesn't mean i'm sleeping with her." WITH ALL THAT SAID, I still don't think even if Rihanna slept with all three of these chaps, that makes her a hoe or gives those guys a right to go all emo on Twitter.

    Leading me to the preface of my feelings on the topic… I'm from DC, if I got mad because I knew a dude that was with her before I was with her, I wouldn't find a date until the Skins won the Super Bowl.

    Outside of the dudes I roll with and speak to on a regular basis, I don't put any franchise tags on no women. And even within my circle, it's just a conversation unless the relationship was super serious. If it don't work out for me, that don't mean that it might not work out for another one of my dudes. That speaks to the caliber of dudes you roll with if you think less of a dude or a woman for doing that. I think all my dudes are top notch.

    Now if it's somebody I know, that I occasionally dap up from time to time, I really do not care. That's on that girl. If she doesn't mind then the dudes ain't got no right to mind or even to cause a scene. Typically, when dudes want to tout off on Twitter or in public about a chick and her making the rounds, it's a sign of rejection not repulsiveness.

    In all this, I believe in Beyonce-mantra, Put a Ring on It. If it ain't not ring on her finger, all you doing is renting with an option to buy, IF she gives you that option. Otherwise, bring that rental back when you're done and just hope that it gets a good wash between users.

    1. "The Honorable R. Kelly and R. Isley teach us, "Just because you see me with her, doesn't mean i'm sleeping with her.""

      *dead*

    2. 'I'm from DC, if I got mad because I knew a dude that was with her before I was with her, I wouldn't find a date until the Skins won the Super Bowl"
      roflmbao……*dead*

    3. "but if you not sleeping with her, what the hell you doing with her?!" <— Ron Isley

      SORRY. I had to do it. lol

      nothing much to add to this post. I don't date in the same circles if I can help it because I am really not that hard pressed to find guys that don't know each other. the world is small, but not that small unless you want it to be.

      I wouldn't date any of my homegirl's exes. I wouldn't date any of my close friends cut buddies, jump offs or exes. its just not necessary to get into that kinda mess.

  8. "How can you get mad at the next man for talking to your ex because he knows you?"

    The funny thing is often with a lot of men, it's not a close friend, but just someone you know from school, work, the gym or something. Unless it's one of your best friends' exes, it shouldn't matter. Although with all the women out there, I don't know why someone would want to date one of their friend's exes.

  9. "As a young boy, I would have took that personal."

    this right here is key. there is no reason why i would care what any of my exes do (unless i still had feelings for them). now there always exceptions to rules. for example i'd have a problem with my brothers talking to any of my exes.

    this rihanna/chris brown/meek mill/drake situation is really messy. when i saw the topic glide across my timeline i decided not to touch it with a ten foot pole. why does chris brown care? after everything they've been through and doesn't he have a girl? whatever. these youngsters.

    Do men and women react and handle these situations differently?

    people like to think that men are more territorial than women but this simply isn't the case. women mark their territory just as much as men and in most cases they don't like their exes talking to anyone that they even remotely know. i mean that's fine and all but own up to it.
    My recent post Take Me Back to 1953

  10. So funny and appropriate for my thoughts. My ex from high school who lives over sees sent an email yesterday seeing what I was up to. I said wedding plans and he emailed back saying “So you getting married on me huh?” Really?!?!? He has been married for maybe 6 years and has two lil kids but yet that was his response. No clue as to why exes stake claim. My fiance and I talk anout these things all of the time. He thinks it is a just in case this chick is still interested mentality— how dumb???

  11. Grown ppl need to get over it. If you lived in the same place your whole life or even a new place for a decent amount of time, depending on how big the city is or your social circle you will overlap dating people who might be familiar with one another. Most guys play the claim game to make that particular women feel like he might still care when in reality he just want to leave the door open to smash without worrying about other male competition.

    For me there are only two guidelines to follow

    1)If you were my Husband, father of my child, serious boyfriend or go booty buddy, you cannot my close family or best friends. I won’t have to worry because they won’t pick in my left over’s like that.

    2)If you don’t fall in the following categories Family, close friends or boss (I’m not losing my job over no man lol) then all the men you might have talked to, dated, were in a relationship with or just slept with are fair game.

  12. It's happened to me before. The funny thing is I met the girl, who became a good friend of mine, and the guy at the same time (they were broken up by then). I only found out they were ex's when I told her we were dating. There was no love lost between us, they both volunteered at my job AT THE SAME DAMN TIME. He and I have sinced stopped seeing each other, but that's still my girl! I have no problem with it.

    I also always thought that if you were Greek or hung out with a lot of Greeks, the chances of you dating someones ex could greatly increase. I've had a guy tell me that he made some calls and I passed clearance/ the background check. ….he obviously didn't dig deep enough. Oh well.

  13. Lawd, lol. *checks to make sure the skeletons in my closet are secure*

    All Imma say is, never say never. Unless you've really been confronted with a real REAL tempting option to do this, IMO, you truly canNOT say what you'd do.

    I know the hurt that side-stepping someones feelings can cause…I've caused that kind of pain. Personally, I'd never do that again. The adult CO81 wouldn't date a man who was in a serious committment with one of her relatives or true friends. Anything less than committed is worth a conversation with all involved parties before proceeding. If we are just associates, it ain't even worth the conversation. BUT, if we are associates, and you proceed with my ex, don't act guilty…just do you…even if we roll in the same circles. I'm over him so I'm good…I promise (JUST had to have this conversation with someone).

  14. Well, I have to admit, I have thrown a fit when an ex started seeing someone else. But not where anyone could see it. It looks really dumb. And the only times I was mad was when i wasnt over him.

  15. Rhi Rhi needs to teach a class about what she's doing to these men because is it that serious??? I will chalk it up to them being young. Truth: Unless you dating a virgin your main has been with someone else. It hurts more when it seems like the new relationship and the old (yours) may have overlapped and you didn't know. Either way you dodged a bullet.

    1. "Rhi Rhi needs to teach a class about what she's doing to these men because is it that serious???"

      I know right!!!! *Sheesh*

      LMBO

  16. What value does the actions of former lovers hold in your current life? none whatsoever.
    Do you have any stories on how you may have fallen down this rabbit hole of emotional defeat? Fortunately this has Never been my style. I'm too mature and logical for that. Never even subscribed to that type of behavior in highschool.

  17. Do men and women react and handle these situations differently? Not really no. For whatever reason once 2 people have "relations" with each other they feel this sense of eternal entitlement and ownership over the other. Part of it imo is illogical thinking and immense immaturity. I think it's foolish to get upset over anyone you know dating your ex….even your ex-husband, unless your concern is due to the awkardness it could cause for your children for example if your sister or cousin seriously dated your ex-husband. Other than that there is no logical reason to be upset over it. Although I somewhat understand that the anger, even though displaced, comes from a place of hurt because there is possibly some unresolved feelings for that ex.
    I think Chris Brown still has feelings for RiRi, which explains his anger over the thought of any other man being with her. I heard she is the one who broke it off with him and after the fact he tried a few times to get her back and she declined.
    At any rate, this is nothing new under the sun Streetz. Some people will always be like this, no matter how old they are.

  18. While I agree that just because you were with somebody doesn't mean you have eternal dibs on that person, I do believe that there has to be some sorta guiding principles for this kind of arrangement. Like, that whole HIMYM situation where Robin was passed between Ted and Barney was kind of gross if you think about it. By all means, if I don't have to see ya'll together, then go ahead and date each other but don't be hanging around me together and what not. RUDE! *Bon Qui Qui voice* And honestly, if my hubs and I ever split, I would be giving the stink eye to and stabbing a voodoo doll of my friends if they got with him but maybe that's different because it was marriage.

    This may be a little off topic (ya'll know I'm the queen of off topic), but I met a dude who told me that he got with his baby's momma because he heard from his homeboy who dated her how good she was in the sack. I didn't ask if he got blessings from the homebody or not but isn't that just trifling or is that a common thing dudes do?

  19. Streetz…i want to dap you up personally for this one.

    Men are usually only territorial over serious relationships. Women claim dudes off limits over as little as a crush from 10 years ago

  20. Hmmm… if Meek Mill and Chris Brown were working on a song that means they are technically coworkers. Who is cool with a coworker going after their ex, male or female? I believe there are certain people who should be off limits. I find it hard to believe if someone you were cool with tried to holla at your old girl you’d be okay with it. If that’s ok to you, then fine. I really doubt most would find it acceptable. Too many friendships all around have been lost cuz of this.

      1. 2Chainz is the rapper formerly known as Tity Boi. He used to be in Ludacris' DTP crew back in the day. You're not missing much–he's garbage, for the most part lol

      1. Nope.
        I still have never seen this 2Chainz fella, I JUST heard "At the Same Damn Time" last week in a dollar van for the first time, and, thankfully, did not hear Starships until last month.
        Mind you, after Starships I deleted rap from my Pandora.

    1. LOL! And now it's at Negative four. I'd be offended if I didn't know it was all women (sexist much?)

      No clue really how it happened. Wasn't something we planned. Somehow somehow we just end up dating the same guys. We talk it over, we decide we don't care and that's that. I think it's really silly for a guy to mess up a relationship between good friends. Unless your friend sets out to deliberately mess up your relationship and then you're not fighting over a guy, you're fighting coz you're friend's with someone who can't bear to see you happy.

        1. I'm a woman and I gave it the thumbs down, because you said that you rest friend was in a serious relationship with him and now you're together/dating…my issue/question is were you lusting after her man while they were together? I get Streetz's point about not claiming an ex….but for me it all depends on the commitment level of the man and my friend and how close me and the lady friend are…..if I am likely to be a bridesmaid when she gets married I don't want to end up being one of her husband's past lovers…this is not a sexist thing, it's how I feel. It works for some people, it seems like it does for you and your friend — so more power to you. I wouldn't do that to any of my close friends, even my unmarried friends. It's not about a friend not wanting to see me happy, but me introducing an element that they have moved on from back into their headspace….I'm only talking about a serious relationship, not some random fleeting fling.

  21. Let me put out a clarification to my post….

    This is also talking about people who have flings/just sex putting claims on one another. I think thats personally corny. Just because a chick held your hand in 2001 doesnt indemnify her against you talking to someone she knows!

    A lot of dudes put claims on old flames/ old fcuk buddies, because they want to say theyre the ones who had that and you can't. its an ego thing.

    Its even worse with women! Check that claim game link in the post because I dont want to repeat myself.

    So Im not making a case to date exes without any type of exceptions, Im just saying that in some cases, the claims are ridiculous.

    Now if youre my ace buku and youre trying to wife my ex wife… yeah that's gonna be an issue because of our relationship. However if im already remarried/dont care, should I have a problem? I guess its situational but theres arguments for both sides
    My recent post [EVENTS] First Saturdays #AfterTheMuseum Cinco De Mayo Edition!

    1. Streetz what about a situation where you and your boy like the same chick…..is she off limits because both of yall like her? Does it depend on the level of like/love?

        1. Ok…but what if u know u want her and u know he wants her too….what then, flip a coin? ijs
          I'm talking about a situation where all yall work together, or yall run in the same circles and all know each other, or u both meet this chick online or something or see her at an event and both of yall talk to her at that event and both of yall wanna ask her out, how do u choose who gets to actually get the digits?

    2. If u were in a serious relationship with someone and they get with your friend or family member who are you mad at more – the family member or the ex?
      Whats your reasoning for being upset if the person is your ex if you no longer want them? And even if u do still want them if they no longer want you do you have a logical reason for being angry/upset because they are with your bff or a family member?
      Just curious about the reasons why people are upset over this.

  22. I'm trying to think if there's anyone other than my ex-husband that I would give two shits about a friend of mine dating…nerp. I might be surprised, but otherwise, good luck with that!

    But I think some of this calling dibs nonsense is rooted in insecurity. What if she/he is a better girl/boyfriend to my friend? Why wasn't he/she this way with me? Why wasn't I "the one" and so forth and so on. Why was she/he able to get he/she to be faithful/commit etc. and I wasn't? All manner of foolish thinking.
    My recent post Alone With You — Tevin Campbell

    1. Sassy if your ex-husband and friend or sister were a truly perfect match and actually in a relationship if you no longer want him for yourself and your not in love with him why are you mad?

      1. I don't have a sister, but you see, I am divorced because my ex-husband is a cheater. I would wonder if these two people had been making eyes/sneaky freaky trying to get at each other the whole time we were together. That would piss me off because, again, this wasn't no boyfriend this was my husband and I stuck big needles in my ass and had miscarriages trying to make and carry his babies cause that mofo had health issues. Yep. I would feel some kinda damn way. Mmmhmmm.
        My recent post Alone With You — Tevin Campbell

  23. While in college, my roommate told me that another one of our homies was trying to get w/my ex. This was confirmed a few weeks later when I ran into the both of the cuddled up when I was leaving another fems room. It was awkward for a mili-second and I just spoke to both of them and kept it moving. Of he came by later and asked me did I have any issues w/it. Why? Maybe is was my attitude about it when we saw each other in the hallway. He and I still remained friends…..unsure of what happened to her as she was no longer my issue. My point is that the situation could've easily gone sideways….Why? Young, dumb and full bleep, bleep will make you do some IGNANT (not ignorant….) a– things. Do I want what my friends have had….nah!…..Is it worth the hassle….nah! Maturity…..it's a
    GREAT thing

    1. Streetz I know plenty of folks who claim folks that they are no longer with and "claim" they don't want them.
      No I'm not one of them…that has never been my style. I'm waaaay too prideful for that. No u don't have any claim on anybody. People are grown and can do what they want and typically will do what they want to do, whether it's right or wrong. It is what it is. Like the saying goes, you can't control other people, only yourself.
      I think if someone doesn't want you, even if you do still have feelings for them it is foolish to brood about anyone else they are with because it's not you. We have to learn to "Let Go, and Let God."

  24. Personally, I don't go anywhere anybody I know has gone before. Same for my circle of friends. Even if it was years ago, we don't date the homie's ex. Nobody has ever spoken this rule, but it sorta just happens that way.

    I also don't pay attention to what ex's do after me. Since they aren't dealing with anybody in my circle, it's really none of my business and I have no interest in making it such. Word.
    My recent post Free Write Friday, Award Nominations, and Career Development

    1. Cosign on all that Slim…..If I no longer have to see or deal with that person i could care less who they see, what they do, and who they are doin it with.
      Slim what if u had to go to a work-related event/venue that someone u dated frequented, would u decline just for that reason?

  25. I agree. But I personally won't date any of my friend's exes. But I see what you are saying.

    No offense to anyone who has kids but this kind of mentality is one of the primary reasons why people who don't have kids like myself find it hard to date someone with kids. People think just because they have kids with a person they feel that person will always belong to them and will do everything in their power to try to sabotoge their ex's new relationship(s). Young and immature minded people think this way.

    PS: Isn't Chris Brown in a new relationship with some model chick? If I was that girl I would've been left him. It's a huge red flag to stick with someone who constantly talk and complain about their ex.

  26. Thank you for this post, Streetz. Nothing short of the truth. Most of my friends are adamant about not dating anyone a friend or even an acquaintance has gone out with. As for me, I once gave one of my best friends the green light to date an ex (THE ex) she hadn't realized was mine when they met (him and I were estranged at the time), but I will admit to not being sad or disappointed when she vehemently disagreed. When we resumed our friendship, he also said he'd deaded that option once he realized who she was.

    I keep telling people to stop the claiming mentality though, because it sometimes happens that your friend and your ex are far better suited to one another than you were. I often use the same example you did with the married or happily involved woman trying to stand in the way of a so-called friend's happiness. I probably wouldn't date any of my current best friends' exes, but those of people I'm no longer as close, or was never particularly close to? I don't have time to be overly concerned about what they would think.

    I think men & women both act silly when it comes to this. One thing I especially dislike hearing from men is that they would "smash" a friend's ex or fling, but never "wife" her.

  27. Thankfully, me and my close circle of homeys don't have the same taste in women, so I've never had to have this concern. But I also think it's stupid to think that your peers should be denied access to your exes. If you lost her on your own accord, why cock-block from the next guy from keeping her? Especially if he's not your holmes. You don't know his life.

    It's highkey disturbing how Chris and Rihanna sub-tweet each other back and forth, considering they both have been seeing other people since they broke up. Normally when it comes to staking claims though, alot of it is born out of assumptions and paranoia. It is never that serious when you're truly done w/ a person and that relationship
    My recent post Accept That He Chose Her, Not You

  28. I agree with Streetz' POV. I think it's selfish to claim someone you're no longer dating and have no intentions on being with. Who are you to block that? Those two may be meant for each other but just because you were in a relationship with them (that didn't even work), you block someone else's happiness? That's not code, that's just being flat-out selfish. I do, however, think that if the other two parties KNOW they know you, a conversation needs to take place WITH you. That's maturity and respect.

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