Home Around the Web When Keeping It Real Goes Right: An Honest First Date

When Keeping It Real Goes Right: An Honest First Date

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Praying Black MAn
Lord, just let this woman come upstairs. I'll handle the rest!

Have you ever gone out on a date, and wished you could cut through all the red tape and swindles and get to the heart of the matter. You want to ask the pertinent questions to know whether this outing will be worth your time or another loss registered in your dating career. Well this video from Tosh.0 shows two people keeping it 100 and finding common ground. It’s also pretty f*cking hilarious:

http://youtu.be/Z3IGfwcGBP8

Streetz: This video gave my soul the motivation to traverse this 900 degree NYC weather today and enjoy life. So funny, yet so true. You know that when you are on a first date, you codify. You will say key words and perform certain actions to convey your message to the person that you want to enjoy the evening. Men will codify the phrase “I’m just trying to win without messing this up, I hope you appreciate that”, while women might convey the message “If I’m giving up the cake to you, it better be worth my while and my time. Please don’t be crazy!” Maybe I’m exaggerating, but a lot of times this is how it goes. You may just want to have a good time without the physical and want to ensure that you get the awkwardness out of the way ASAP. Sometimes being real can help in that. I wish it were that easy, but some people can’t handle certain truths especially on date #1.

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WisdomIsMisery: This video gave me life this morning. Well, maybe that was God, but this video definitely helped me enjoy life a little bit more today. I wish every date went like this. Everyone asks for “honesty” but no one really wants it. If the conversations between men and women could really go like this I think a lot of headaches could be avoided. I’ve tried to have candid conversations like this in my youth, when I was much more goon-like than I am now. Sometimes the women found my demeanor refreshing; however, more often than not, they were shocked and appalled. Now I’m a grown man tip toeing on cotton balls and egg shells to figure out where things are going when I really just want to know if you’re going to make it wobble wobble for a goon or if you want me to put a ring on it. I’m fine either way, I’d just like more clarity on where we stand without the ambiguity. I don’t feel like that’s asking for too much but apparently it is…

What are your thoughts, readers? Do you wish your dates ended with conversations as candid as the one shown in the video?

Comment(36)

  1. If you have something to say than say it. But then again I don't like people approaching me mainly because I don't have the ability to know what I'm supposed to do and I'd rather just be honest. I think I'm different from most females because I'd rather a guy just go "I wanna marry you" so that I can say no or "I wanna have s*x with you" so that I can say no. I'm GONNA say no. But the point is I like honest conversation. Which is rather depressing because as I'm starting to realize, being honest either gets you laughed at because people are uncomfortable, you get made fun of because you look naive, or no one wants to be honest and you can't make a genuine connection. So I'm getting conditioned to just not talk.

    1. But this dating thing sounds kinda fun cuz I can just walk up to a guy I'm scoping and say what I want and see if he likes it. It works best if he's honest too. But I think dating is for sexual purposes so it's almost stupid for me to have said no to EVERYONE who was attempting to court me for marriage. But now that I think about it THEY were honest. and aggressive. I said no because I hadn't learned how to be a woman yet and I panicked. But now I'm like…set. So I would prefer an almost comical level of honesty. I see no reason why everything can't be exceptionally straight forward. I'M not gonna be emotionally honest though. I'm perpetually cheerful and optimistic and chipper. That isn't reality. So I'd rather deal in reality on a date than attempt coy conversation.

    2. "I think I'm different from most females…" Who are the other females you are different from? Female snakes? Female tigers? Female pigs? Female dolphins?

      1. No human female that I've encountered compares to me so I would assume I'm similar to an animal with a dormant sex drive. Or a human female raised traditional and Christian who finds herself suddenly independent. Though….I'd prefer to question your motives and reason for asking than to answer such a suspect question.

        1. Suspect question? Motives? I was just wondering what species of animal you were since you said you were 'different from most females'.

        2. ….Right. But the conversation wouldn't go anywhere: I assume you're stupid because you know what species I am; I give you an animal species that has mating practices similar to my own. End of conversation. Obviously I'm a human. I don't mate as most human females do. My mating practices are more similar to that of a lionness which makes me different from most human females because it entails I approach a male and seduce him. I just wondered why you would ask me such a dead end question and assumed you had questionable motives. Oh well. No harm done. I'm sure I adequately answered right?

  2. Hilarious video!

    The funny thing is, I thought I was doing this when I dated. I remember one woman in particular that made it clear that Christianity was very important to her in a boyfriend, and i responded, it isn't to me. Yet for some reason we continued to date. It was horrendously awkward and I have no idea why we continued.
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    1. I saw that movie. I thought the idea was interesting, the movie itself botched the whole thing up and was just boring and stereotypical.

  3. Too funny!! If only it could be this simple. Sometimes I think people would rather be lied to than deal with honesty. These people may hold on to the idea that what they don't know wont hurt them/ignorance is bliss mentality. Nothing good can come from this.
    …maybe its all about the approach. You can be honest and tactful or you can be honest and blunt. I think the trick is to know your audience and which style will work in your favor. As long as you're keeping it 100% then (feelings aside) you can process what is said and make an informed decision. That is always gonna be a win in my book.

  4. lol @ the vid.

    As far as honesty is concerned, it's often a matter of how it's delivered. Depending on your audience, "I'm just tryna blaze" mightn't go over as well as "I'm not looking for anything serious right now, but I am attracted to you and feel like we have some sexual chemistry that I would love to explore if you're open to it." In both instances, sexual intent has been communicated, but less women would be "appalled" by the latter statement. A lot of people tend to put honesty in a mixing bowl with confounding variables such as bluntness, crassness, and lack of tact, and then claim that people can't handle the truth when people aren't quite receptive to the finished product.

    1. "A lot of people tend to put honesty in a mixing bowl with confounding variables such as bluntness, crassness, and lack of tact, and then claim that people can't handle the truth when people aren't quite receptive to the finished product. "

      All. Of. This. Right. HERE!

      There really is a giant chasm between keeping it real and being an asshole.

  5. that was the perfect first date- damn why cant they all go like that? Sure sometimes we want the adventure and the anticipation of not knowing what will happen but for the most part, I would love to know up front- am I gonna capitalize off this? HILARIOUS though

  6. Maybe it’s the naiveté coming out of me but that kind of brutal in your face honesty I would not like. I would appreciate a guy saying he didn’t want me seriously but only for sex but deep down I’d feel kinda bad and ask myself what am I doing to make a guy only wanna get at me for sex.

    Brutal honesty is all good when you are ready to handle it, and since I haven’t been in a serious relationship or done the deed I don’t think I would want that right now in this stage of the game. I prefer the gauging the man’s actions + words to see if he’s interested beyond sex… i like not knowing where things end up. Maybe that’s just me

  7. This video is hilarious on so many levels. If I were the girl in this video my speil would go something like this:

    “Can I be honest? You are extremely sexy and I can totally see myself tying some new tricks I learned from unnamed sources on you. Buuuut I have no intentions of bedding you before marriage. However, I would like to continue relishing in the perks of dating – good convo, free food, excitement, attention – if that’s cool with you. Also, are you gay? Because you had a few instances of limp-wrist at the dinner table and I know that DL epidemic is going around. Otherwise, I’d love to continue getting to know you if you have a personal relationship with God and can work around all these stipulations. If not, you can still take me out and tell me I’m beautiful for fun. Not a problem”.__:::RiskiBusiness:::

  8. This video is hilarious on so many levels. If I were the girl in this video my spiel would go something like this:

    “Can I be honest? You are extremely sexy and I can totally see myself trying some new tricks I learned from unnamed sources on you. Buuuut I have no intentions of bedding you before marriage. However, I would like to continue relishing in the perks of dating – good convo, free food, excitement, attention – if that’s cool with you. Also, are you gay? Because you had a few instances of limp-wrist at the dinner table and I know that DL epidemic is going around. Otherwise, I’d love to continue getting to know you if you have a personal relationship with God and can work around all these stipulations. If not, you can still take me out and tell me I’m beautiful for fun. Not a problem”.

    :::Riski Business:::
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  9. I like all the up-front honesty buuutttt…. then what happens when they hang out for a bit. She or he becomes fascinated with all the interesting things about the other. Let a few sob stories out about their past, and mom loves the new girl…and then ONE falls in love with the other even though the other was sticking to the plan…..and then, the conversation that was held on the first date becomes completely irrelevant and we are right back where we left off.

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