Home Featured Jerry Sandusky and Child Molestation – Some Personal Reflections

Jerry Sandusky and Child Molestation – Some Personal Reflections

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Monster


As the jury deliberated I thought back to when the news first broke of what Jerry Sandusky did to the children whose care he was entrusted. I only had two emotions: compassion and rage.

I felt rage because I believe it’s cowardly for a grown person to rob a young person of their innocence.  There were eight young boys (nine if the allegations by his adopted son are true) who grew up a lot faster than they needed to. A sick, demented individual preyed upon them and they are truly victims in all of this. Kids are supposed to be worried about GI Joes, Barbies, playing sports and freeze tag. They shouldn’t have to worry about when the next time a man is going to come and touch them in their “special places.”

I have personal reasons for feeling compassion for these young boys or any other victim of sexual molestation. I’m going to share something with y’all that maybe only four other people in this world know. My parents don’t know and many of my closest friends don’t know this about me. As a child I was molested. I won’t go into specific details but it wasn’t by a man and it was someone I knew that was older. I didn’t tell anyone because as I child I somehow felt that this was something that I caused and I would be shunned if I went to my parents. It took me a long time to come to grips with what happened to me growing up but I used various methods to do so.

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This is what bothers me about Sandusky’s defense team. They claim that the boys only came forward because they want money. They collaborated these stories with their lawyers in some sort of elaborate plot. Otherwise why did they wait so long to come forward? These boys (now men) probably felt the same exact way that I felt. They probably felt worse because their molester was male. I understand the role of Sandusky’s lawyers is to try to maintain the freedom of their client but I don’t think I could ever take such a case, especially if I had children.  I’m not on that jury and I don’t think I would ever get picked for a jury involving molestation cases because I’m biased; but if I were I too would have found him guilty on all charges.

It will be interesting how much time he actually serves in prison. If he is handed a sentence that will allow him to see the light of day again (he’s 68 years old) I wonder how he will be treated by society. I believe that most felons/convicts deserve second chances at being a part of mainstream society, but for me, that excludes people who sexually abuse children. I think they should have to wear a scarlet letter so everyone knows who they are and what they did.

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There are some measures already being introduced into legislation that are similar. Recently Louisiana introduced a new law that requires sexual offenders and child predators to list their status on social media. At first I had mixed feelings about this but then I realized that a lot of child predators meet their victims online. I’m actually behind this law. Hopefully more states follow suit.

What are your views on  Jerry Sandusky? Can sexual offenders be rehabilitated? Do you believe that sexual offenders who have served their time and paid their debt to society should still be branded as such?

Tunde

Comment(34)

    1. Let's hope he never does get out for "Good Behavior."
      I'm thankful for the Meagan's Law which legally makes information public about sex offenders. Where they live and their addresses and information about the crimes they have committed. Anyone with children should definitely check out the child sex offender registry which can be accessed online as well as any local courthouse. I agree that Jerry Sandusky is a very very sick man with serious mental issues. I'm glad they found him guilty.
      I think anyone can be rehabilitated and change, but only when they are good and ready to and really want to; otherwise rehab and any other mental health counseling is inevitably in vain.
      Yes sex offenders should be branded as rapists should as well. It's important to know the kind of people that are in our midst interacting with us and our children on a daily basis. The more we know the more we can do to protect ourselves and our kids from predators.

      1. That's impossible. Good behavior would still require that he serves 75-80% of his sentence. It's over, 75-80% of his sentence would be over 300 years. The best he can hope for is to be released in old age once he is terminally ill. However, when you're sentenced to such a heavy sentence, that's 99.9% unlikely unless he has an illness that cannot be treated in any prison in the state of PA.

        1. I was being facetious. Obviously he will never see the light of day with this sentence, and rightfully so.

    2. Disclaimer: this has nothing to do with your comment Jay, but I'm replying to it cuz it's comforting in its simplicity on the matter.

      Anywho, watching the news is depressing. I don't keep up with current events unless it's positive or upbeat and with this one I don't wanna speak on a man's guilt or innocence. It's too great an impact on far too many lives and I don't wanna contribute to speculation. As far as child molestation goes that's not a time to have an opinion. I would personally have a hard time acknowledging an occurance of such magnitude to myself let alone the wrong doer let alone the public and *especially* to a judge; however, innocent until proven guilty. I won't speculate and I won't judge.

      I do believe in the rehabilitation of criminals to their benefit — excluding heinous crimes. Child molestion is a heinous crime BUT public humiliation causes a person to re-evalute in and of itself. Whether it's to the benefit of the criminal or to ensure the safety of others, the law with social media is probably a valid consequential happening.

      1. That is selective ignorance. You should always keep up with the news. What if you had to evacuate or some lunatic was around the neighborhood and someone told you stay indoors?

    3. Maybe I'm biased too. Not because I was ever molested, but because every woman I've been with has this same story of being molested or even raped as a child. The look in their eyes when they're telling me the story that many of them haven't told their parents is always the same look of "why me". These are women who grow up to enjoy being felt on and entered by a man. The story and that look in the eyes must be very different for a man who was molested by another man. These men grew up trying to figure out "why me" and now whether gay or not, have a memory of another man touching them in places that they should not have been touched.
      Another reason why I am biased is because I am the father of 2 boys and 3 girls of my own and I will literally try to tear a muthafuka limb from limb if this was done to any of them.
      That being said, I hope that old fool gets gang raped daily and lives to be 120 in prison.

  1. No. I do not believe they can be rehabilitated. Unfortunately, serving time does not erase the pain caused to the victims. It does not heal the STD's that may have been passed on to the victim. It does not rectify the sometimes irreparable psychological damage. It does not take away the fact that, innocence once lost can never be recovered. A sexual offender, will always be branded as such in my books. No amount of remorse, community service, you name it can change my mind. Ruining another's life for sexual gratification to me is the equivalent of murder! Murder without actual killing!

    1. I read the court documents that detailed the graphic accounts between Sandusky and several boys. I am / was disgusted! None of the victims will never forget what happened. If they don't want people to know they're sex offenders, stay off social media. Back in the day, we used to receive fliers with a picture, name, and description of a sex offender if s/he moved into the neighborhood. I haven't received one in years. I guess there aren't any around… yeah right.

      I completely understand that molestation is terrible. Should we force murders/rapists/convicts to list their status on social media as well? Tunde, I wholly agree with you about molesters wearing a scarlet letter… I do. But I just wonder should the law go for all persons who have committed the aforementioned crimes, too.
      My recent post Video

  2. I can, at times, comprehend that there are sick f***s in this world but, all the Penn State staff and anyone else who was an adult and knew and (by providing silence and not reporting) aided Sandusky can get gunned up and clapped quick. If you can witness a sexual act like that period let alone with a kid and go on about your day and call your father because you don't know what to do leads me to believe that you are involved either as an abuser or the abused.

    1. I think the part that shocks so many people about this case was that the entire staff (the majority) knew Sandusky was doing this and said nothing. I know some of them reported to the dean of the school or department or something of that nature, but no one ever called the police.

  3. I was flat out disgusted by this case. Sandusky, the dude who saw it but continued to collect paychecks even as he saw nothing was done, even JoePa (RIP).

    Without going into too much detail i know a little girl who was touched, no one believed her until she started to touch others, and who knows if they are reacting the same way or will grow up to. This has potential to spread like a common cold. Jail time doesnt break this cycle the damage was done.

    The other view i had was a complete lack of faith in the justice system. Its become a game, the court of law isnt a debate of guilt or innocence its lawyer vs prosecutor in who can get a jury to believe them. The evidence seemed damning but I’ve seen too many cases fall apart to really believe it was over when the cuffs were clicked.

  4. @Tunde Thanks for sharing your story. I unfortunately as a child was molested as well. The sad thing is that I too was afraid to tell anyone. I grew up going through bouts of depression because I felt I let someone steal my innocence. I'm afraid now as a 30 yr old woman with a career to have children of my own. I fear not being there at all times to protect my child.

    I just want to say one more thing…. It wasn't your fault or mine. <3

    1. I also have a personal connection to this. If it weren't for the fact that my Mom, who'd been molested as a child…by 2 people, didn't allow closed doors in her home, I would've been molested twice by 2 different females. The first time, my Mom saw the closed door and caught the girl undoing my pants…I was 4/5. The second time, my Father saw the door closed and caught the girl kissing me…I was 7ish. I'm very grateful that my parents were on guard. However, I never forgot what led up to those moments. And I lived with fear and confusion for years…what about me told them it was ok to attemp to molest me?

      1. But, I realized very quickly that hurt people hurt people. I understood that I didn't do anything…and I refused to let their pain and mistakes rob me of a full life. So, I still love men…and I have 2 beautiful children. I just watch them like a HAWK like my Mom watched me…and I don't allow my kids to stay or play behind closed doors…not even in other people's homes, lol. If my kids are in there, this door stays open. I decided not to wait till something happened to talk to my children. I explained to them as soon as they could talk and understand good enough that NO ONE is to touch them. They've heard it so much…and have been questioned so much…that they now act like I'm getting on their nerves when I bring it up, lol. If you know you want children, HAVE THEM! Don't allow someone else's disease/pain to rob you of the life you really want.

      2. thank you so much for sharing your pain/story as well.
        parents have to be on guard period – it's not just men who take advantage.

    2. thanks for sharing. i'm so sorry that happened to you. i think that's a big fear i have also. i don't want to be too overprotective of my future children but i'm going to be so scared for them.

  5. I did several research projects in undergrad re: child molesters and the conclusion was always the same – despite what "treatment" they receive, including castration, they have a 90% chance or greater of recidivism. So I vote for true life sentences or the death penalty. (Louisiana already tried to use the death penalty for a man who raped & almost killed his stepdaughter and SC stuck it down as cruel and unusual. I think the fact that this young girl was raped so violently that her entire perineum was torn and she was left for dead and she will never have kids and probably never have enjoyable sex was cruel and unusual.) That said, I think we should try the death penalty again and write the law different so it can pass constitutional muster. What do you think Tunde? They still the lives of children…should we take theirs?

    1. i can't say that i agree because i don't believe in the death penalty under any circumstances. i just don't feel like its any person's place to judge life and death. vengeance belongs to God, not me. the story of that little girl is so sad. he deserves life in jail tho. not the type of jail where you get cable tv and internet access. he should be doing hard labor. like breaking rocks up on the side of the road. or laying down railroad tracks.
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      1. …or life in solitary confinement…with just a sink and a toilet…no yard time…no showers. Just bird baths and quiet time to think about the suffering you've caused.

  6. Brave post. Actually inspired me to do a post I've put off for some months due to it's personal nature. I'll address that later.

    Specific to Sandusky, I hope he gets what he deserves, which is life in prison in this case. I think he deserves worse but I'll keep that to myself. I hadn't heard about the Louisiana social media law. I think that's pretty groundbreaking and agree more states should have similar laws on the books. In general, most laws need a huge overhaul or addendum to keep up with technology. It's crazy what people can get away with on-line simply because the law hasn't kept up.

    I also think this is a major issue because I read somewhere that like 1 in 3 women will suffer some sort of unwanted sexual contact in their lifetime. Forget the exact statistic for men but it was higher than most would assume. Also, the majority of this will occur at the hands of people they know (husbands, boyfriends, friends, family, etc). Definitely a subject that needed to be addressed even if people don't feel comfortable speaking on it. Good post.

    1. It is true. 1 in 4 ladies will experience it before the age of sixteen alone.

      As far as Sandusky, honestly the most horrific part of the entire thing to me were the specific children he chose to engage with- underpriviledged children less likely to speak out due to their circumstance. I am certain due to this alone that the actual number of his victims is probably triple the amout that came forward.

      But the new law? I would be all for it if it could be applied to specific cases only. There are some people who have been really screwed over by the current laws- like men who were 18 dating 16-yr olds and the parents pressed charges- that I would not like to be affected. I do realize that a few exceptions should not spoil a potentially good thing, though.

      1. I thought about this too, I think it could be a serious problem if people start targeting everyone with that label without bothering to find out what's behind that label. I'm all for rapists and pedofiles being shunned by everyone for the rest of their lives, but a boy who had consensual sex with someone pretty much the same age as them shouldn't be shunned for life.

    2. 1 in 3 sounds about right. Everytime I start talking about childhood molestation, nearly every time, whoever I'm talking to has a personal story to tell.
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  7. It's a sad thing when you have a group of friends and you realize so many of them have been victims of sexual abuse/molestation. It wasn't until adulthood that my cousin & I (we grew up together) shared that we had IDENTICAL experiences while visiting in Nigeria. (Left w/ female house help and then abused by said house help) Because of that, my feelings towards how you deal with sexual offenders are skewed.

    Most victims of abuse don't speak about it (until much later) and resort to a myriad of self-destructive behaviors to cope. The damage is often far reaching from the act (at least it was in my case) and someone who commits that crime should be branded for it.

    A person can repent, and a person can be 'changed' but we can't foolishly act like the chance for it to happen again doesn't exist. People should be aware of the fact and be able to protect their children from it.

    Great post again Tunde, and thank you for being brave enough to share that bit of yourself with us.

  8. I'm generally against the death penalty and I abhor blood lust. Except when it comes to monsters like this man. I have to QUIET my rage when I think about the fact that he looked for little boys who didn't have parents to protect them or their parents were unequipped. I have to keep myself from hitting things when I think about how most of these boys were black. Then I need to just think about something else when I remember how many people KNEW ABOUT IT AND DID NOTHING.

    I want to torture the man myself. I feel I am actually capable of torture in this situation. I want to know he will scream in pain and despair. I am only comforted by the fact that in jail, he will probably be in protective solitary. And there will be guards that will conveniently forget to protect him when some other prisoners want to punish him for what he did.
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  9. It truly breaks my heart. The wounds of sexual abuse and molestation are very deep. Deeper than the average person can imagine. And the people doing this? They need to be treated. We can put them in jail but what about when they get out? They are almost always repeat offenders. There needs to be better treatment programs. I think it's great that they gave Sandusky a long sentence because of his notoriety but there are just too many "regular" people doing this on a daily and getting 2-3 years, coming out and doing it again. That's if their victims ever tell. More needs to be done.

    I appreciate your bravery in sharing your story, you have no idea how much that can inspire others to do the same 🙂
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  10. i commend you for sharing your story with the world tunde.
    it's so important that we talk about these things.
    i dont know what the solutions are, but knowing one is not alone can save a life.

  11. ScorpioSoulJeff (above) wrote "…..These are women who grow up to enjoy being felt on and entered by a man."

    Felt on?! WTF? Hopefully "Jeff" is not a Penn Stater. God knows there's been enough creepiness on campus.

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