Home Featured Revenge Of The Scorned Lovers: 5 Reasons Why Destroying A Cheater’s Possessions Is Wrong

Revenge Of The Scorned Lovers: 5 Reasons Why Destroying A Cheater’s Possessions Is Wrong


During the course of our lives we will meet individuals who will bring us joy and pain. You will meet your fair share of Judases in your time, and this is completely evident on the dating scene. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and Instagram proved it the other day. A young lady posted pictures of her fine work, when she totalled an ex boyfriends car for cheating on her:

Now, I ain’t one to tell people how to live life, but some stuff is too far! Once you get pushed to this brink, all bets are off. As good as revenge may feel, and as tempting as it may be to express your frustration in physical form, there are many reasons why cooler heads should prevail. Don’t let Jazmine Sullivan and Kelis hype you to do no good! Check out the 5 reasons you shouldn’t go down this route.



It’s illegal

You would think this is an obvious deterrent against destroying someone’s property, but if that was the case then crime would be extinct. I really don’t get the fascination with performing acts of ratchetness and putting it on a social media network. Yeah, I understand the thrill of the act, and the desire to publicly humiliate the person(s) who did you dirty, but that’s clear evidence against you! No judge or cop is going to dap you up for setting a mans car on fire! We live in a litigious society nowadays, where people watch court shows and think they have better odds to be rich via lawyer than via lottery. We saw this in a case of a young lady who beat the hell out of another woman for “talking s**t about her on twitter”. Needless to say she got locked up quick! When we act impulsively, we forget about the consequences of our actions. Don’t end up in jail because of a Facebook photo.



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  1. First off, DEAD @ "defecate on your soul".

    I have never destroyed property over a relationship gone wrong. Really, never. I got into a physical altercation once when I was MUCH younger when I discovered my man mid-indescretion. I was so embarrased at myself for losing my cmposure that I said, never again. It's just not worth it. I cannot give someone the satisfaction of seeing me blow my top or cry or anything.

    Plus, I know of I REALLY want revenge, the only thing I really need to do is calmly walk away like it meant nothing, and immediately dissappear./cut all contact.. Most of the time people eff up in relationships for one of two reasons-they were selfish or they wanted attention. Either way, if you can't just damn ask me for it I certainly am not about to give it to you.

    1. @Amaris_Acosta: "I know of I REALLY want revenge, the only thing I really need to do is calmly walk away like it meant nothing, and immediately dissappear./cut all contact."

      Works like a charm. Even if it doesn't right away, a few months later they will be drinking Hennessey, listening to Tank's "I Deserve" on repeat.

  2. lol….love your way with words Streetz. I've never destroyed anyone's property or done anything to them for lying and cheating. Only thing I've done is deleting them completely from my life. Damaging people's stuff to seek revenge, (especially if your a so called christian and u know this is one of the seven deadly sins) is dumb as hell. It damn sure doesn't make that person want you back and it just causes all the problems mentioned in the post. It starts a stupid "war" and the other persons and their people's will talk about you. They'll say how stupid you look and how bad u must want that person back and how you must really miss that "good d" or "good p." You know the first thing other people always say when stuff like that happens is, "damn that di** or that pu**y must've been tha bomb."
    I wholeheartedly agree with the last point u made Streetz. The best revenge is to put the person on ignore and don't give them the satisfaction of know they are still on your mind. Become successful and better than you were when you were with them. Make sure you look your very best when your out and about at places they may frequent. Make your haters have to be your congratulaters. When mutual friends or the persons family sees you out and asks how you are make sure you look good and let them know how great your doing. This is the ultimate revenge because it makes the person see that your doing a lot better without them and looking hott! They will think about it and possibly rethink breaking up with you and/or cheating and lying. When they come back and try to get back with you then u can have the satisfaction of telling them no and to kiss your azz. That's revenge forreal.
    One thing u can do is dedicate a song to them that details explicitly how your feeling on the radio, like maybe irreplaceable or something….lol.

  3. Streetz some people will still date a crazy azz person. Men still wanted to date LeftEye after she burned Andre Reisen's house down. Matter of fact if I remember right he wanted to get back with her……well maybe thats not the best example when he was probably just as crazy as her and probably had some head injuries from football and he could fairly easily just buy another mansion since he was a pro football player.

  4. What is your take on physical damage of property as revenge? Fair or foul?
    Foul. Always foul. What does it solve, a couple dollars? Even then they can just sue you so not only did they screw you over but now they hurting your pockets.

    When is it justified ( if ever)? Have you been the victim or the assailant?
    Its never justified, its childish. Contrary to my strong feelings about this i have been neither. Closest is her destroying things i got her which i didnt want back anyway

    How does the actions of a man / women who retaliates in this fashion
    affect their datability ?

    It shows immaturity which is always a red flag. However i dated a girl who admitted to doing things to an ex (shes a bit older so i hoped she knew better, i did routinely check my car after we stopped kicking it tho). It also shows poor judgement, perhaps a reluctance to trust men and other things that might get her sentenced to the friend zone.

  5. I doubt anyone will openly admit to destroying physical property here today. I will say that you can add a bunch of other things similar to destroying property to the list of things you shouldn't ever do when feeling scorned. I wrote a post about this, i'll find it later.

    Off the top of my head:
    1) Don't try and destroy their image or reputation. That'll just make you look foolish for dating someone like that, even though you think it will alert everyone of that person's true character.
    2) Don't try and make them jealous. I had a girl go on a rampage and start sleeping around after I broke things off. When she finally got facetime with me, she told me as if it was going to upset me. I just told her, it made me not want to be with her anymore and that was it. I didn't want something someone else could have. This applies to when you just decide to talk to other people or date them too.
    3) Don't blog or twitter rant about it. Blog and twitter rants always make the scorned look bad. 98% of the time, the person who it's about won't respond, reply or say anything about it and you'll look senile.

    In the 2% of the times they do, they do something like this and it makes you look even dumber:

    RT @Rihanna: Typical…

    1. *raises hand* Dr. J, let me be the first to admit I kicked a couple dents in a guys car and keyed the other side, only because he picked me up and threw me in the street (I have a passion for big, bulky, football stature dudes LOL!!) This was back in high school.

      I did destroy some property about a year and a half ago. Nasty, nasty breakup where "dude" actually put me and my kids shit on the porch. We had been living together for 4 years, plus baby. Just think about "Diary of a Mad Black Woman". Yeah, lol! So what I destroyed: pictures, screen door and I tried to flip the glass dining room table but it wouldn't break… left a pretty dent in the wall though… either way, it all belonged to the both of us.

      At the end of the day, I'm an awesome black woman. Sometimes you get caught up in the moment. Is it right? NO!! But when I served a man with every ounce of me, and still get "random hoe" treatment… I retaliated towards HIS actions. What can I say for myself now? I'm still the shit! Prosperity has never been so delightful! And he wishes he still had me… lol! whoops!!

    2. Doc J I'm a fellow Leo like you and waaaaaaay too prideful to let anyone see me sweat, (except in the bedroom) or make a man thats done me dirty feel like I'm still thinking about him in any way shape or form. This is why I've truly never ever messed with anyone's personal belongings. Plus I don't want anybody bustin my windows out my car. Men can be just as nutty as women. I've already dealt with enough stalking….I like my life drama free….I only like to see drama on t.v. not in my real life.

        1. oh my bad…I thought one of yall was a Leo….lol
          I stand corrected….shut up Streetz! ha ha

  6. I never would destroy anyones possessions. But I had a man once that wanted to hurt me so badly that he destroyed the back sit of my car, eat all the food in my house, and wished me dead. I just said one monkey would ever stop my show!!!! All because I was not willing to put up with his agenda. The only revenge is to live well and learn from this. And not let what happened to me effect my next relationship. I still believe in our black men

  7. What is your take on physical damage of property as revenge? Fair or foul? When is it justified (if ever)? Have you been the victim or the assailant? How does the actions of a man/women who retaliates in this fashion affect their datability?

    I've never damaged property or had my property damaged, which is weird because as you mentioned, I used to have an affinity for crazy women. I still do. I just dont have the mental capacity or time to deal with them like I did #BackInTheDay. I tend to prefer crazy women that yell and scream as opposed to throw and break. The latter are far more expensive. To your last question, I think the affect on their datability is relative to age. People seem to have a higher tolerance for craziness the younger you are. Once you start getting into the 30+ range, being crazy "is no longer cute."

    1. "Once you start getting into the 30+ range, being crazy "is no longer cute." tru that Wis….if your a "mature" 30+.

  8. "Still, to prosper and succeed in life is the best type of revenge. When you upgrade from that person to a new and improved model, they will be sick with envy. You don’t have to prove anything or waste the time and energy on “showing them up”. All you need to do is be great!"

    This was the best part!! I swear, you live and you learn. Anger only motivates me to drive myself more. Being that woman scorned, it only made me grind even harder. Here I am doing everything I love, buying my first house, taking trips all while "EX" is either living with his momma at damn near 40 or trying to stunt with a over-priced car and a 1 bedroom apartment in the hood. LOL!! I swear! I'm too funny

  9. I'm not about that jail/court/mandatory anger management courses/probation life so I'm not breaking or destroying anything! Its really not worth it.
    One of my mottos is never let anyone bring you out of your character and physical harm to a person or object is out of character for me.That's not to say that thoughts of wanting to bleach and break ish doesn't cross my mind, but you can simply ctl +alt + delete that person from your life and move the hell on. You'd be amazed at how much better one feels after that.

  10. I consider my personal property to be an extension of myself. If my possessions are harmed or feel threatened, then I am harmed and feeling threatened and will act to protect myself.

    In other words.. touch my sh1t and someone gets hurt. A statement I have stated clearly to every person I have dealt with. Without cracking a smile or adding a "lol" at the end of the sentence.

    Seriously, don't touch my stuff.

    1. See.. i was waiting for a woman to post this lol…

      Nah just dont waste the energy on doing that! I wont front, i react to shyt all the tiome and if you have in the past we aint judgin you aint on trial. If you do this all the time… thats a problem!

      Just chill and move on my advice

      ..and if you do DONT PROMOTE IT!
      My recent post #BeTheBetter Fitness Log: Entry 7

      1. lol i was just asking b/c back in the day when I used to destroy men's property I did it in secrecy. I once slashed my ex's tires & busted out all his windows. Then got a call from him about the damage to his vehicle and acted TOTALLY shocked. "What babe?? Your windows? Tires too? STFU!!" Then acted the supportive girlfriend through the repair process. Watched him have to call people to borrow $ for it. Having to pawn/sell some stuff. Catching rides everywhere for a couple weeks till it was fixed etc etc. It was the sweetest feeling at the time and I don't think anything would have made me feel any better than that did. But I was 19 and there was no FB/Twitter/Instagram/Camera Phone. While it felt amazing at the time, it is a moment in my history that I am not so proud of. SO luckily, no one ever really knew I did that. 😉 My point…secrecy is key, if you are gonna do something you know you shouldn't be doing.

  11. LOL that chick cray.

    i know some pretty crazy women that have cost dudes thousands and thousands of dollars. ruined BMWs, all night stake outs, bricks through homes made of mostly glass window, etc. it's all fun and games until i have to come get you from jail at 3am for pulling a knife on your man and breaking a vase over his head. true stories. lol. he kind of deserved it, but still.

    i've never damaged property. i just don't care enough to really go out of my way to damage someone else's stuff or get any type of real "revenge." i remember being accused of stalking, damaging his car, threatening phone calls, all kinds of stuff. i kept denying, they kept accusing. even had the police asking me to stop bothering them. i was so confused.

    ..then they found out it was the chick's boyfriend (with whom my bf had cheated) who was doing it. lmao. following them around with a gun in his car. smh. crazy has no gender.

    i did change his outgoing voicemail message at the coercion of above mentioned knife-pulling friend. i was reluctant but it was funny. really professional and sarcastic. don't even remember what it said but took him a week to change it back. hahaha. his friends all thought it was hilarious. i was 20 or 21 though. can't imagine ever doing anything like that as a real grown up. lol. and even that was weird bc her stalker boyfriend somehow found me through that outgoing message and really tried to get with me to get revenge on his girl. ew. hot mess i tell you.
    My recent post Beautiful, and Other Thoughts.

  12. I have never destroyed anyone's property…but I had my car keyed TO HELL back in May 2011. My car had to be stripped, buffed out, and then repainted. If I didn't have kids, I'd be in JAIL right now. It would've been worth it to start my life over. But, I had them so my spirituality went into overdrive to calm me. If I didn't believe the bible when its "vengence is mine, saith the Lord", other people would be in jail cause I had to convince other people NOT to retaliate…and stay out of it. Long story short, I believe I know who did it…and I believe she did it cause of jealousy…not only was I with the man she wanted, but he was serious about me. I let God handle it.

    Her car died a few months later…and she still has no car…and she got fired from her job…and is still unemployed. #ILoveJesus

    And having said all that, I've since let it go and sincerely hope that she gets her life together. #UnforgivenessKills

    1. What is your take on physical damage of property as revenge? Fair or foul? When is it justified (if ever)? – Don't do it! Foul! NEVER! I'm telling you, God can get them better than you can. You stay right…I don't care how pissed you are. Never give someone that much control over you…lowering yourself to substandard levels.

      How does the actions of a man/women who retaliates in this fashion affect their datability?- Depends. She may be able to hide it…for a time. Psycho always shows itself, lol. She may be able to hook a man but she won't be able to keep one.

    2. "Her car died a few months later…and she still has no car…and she got fired from her job…and is still unemployed. #ILoveJesus"

      Jesus is killing cars and getting people fired?! You are dead wrong for bringing Jesus into that. That's hilarious, LMAO. You new nickname is 50 Cent.

      "In the bible it says, what goes around, comes around
      Hommo shot me three weeks later he got shot down
      Now it's clear that I'm here, for a real reason
      'Cause he got hit like I got hit, but he ain't f*cking breathing"

      1. What you sow, you shall reap, LOL! She jacked up my car, her car is more than jacked. I lost money putting out $500 for a deductible, she lost her income…all within 12 mos of the incident. I choose to believe that because she didn't fess up and pay my deductible, God had her pay in other ways…and I feel plenty vindicated.

        I'm over it though (since about a month ago, lol). I'm actually pleasant when I see her now.

      1. Jesus def allowed those afflictions to come for a reason…I chose to believe it was to make her pay for what she did, LMBO…

        I wish her nothing but a blessed life now though…

  13. OK. I will admit. The night my exhusband's cheating was revealed I was bleeding out our baby. After I tried to kill him, I gave considerable thought to throwing all his music-related belongings (he's a musician, his instruments, sheet music, records and digital music are worth upwards of $50K and are insured) into the street and running back and forth over it with my car. The only thing that stopped me was my mama saying don't catch a case and ruin your life.

    And she was right. Any person that would cheat on you and lie to you is not worth you risking your future over. Living well is the best revenge.

    1. Oh and p.s. we're friends now, but when I moved out of his/our house and back into mine (he moved out first and I lived there alone until I had renovated my place) he took my key because he said he didn't want me to have a flashback and come up in there and knock a bunch of shit over. I was hurt at the time that he would think that of me, but I gave it back cause after a little thinking I realized he was right. I wasn't *quite* finished working through this cheating/divorce/my whole life is topsy turvy situation and I *might* wake up mad one night and go set it off up and through there. LOL!

      I didn't though and I have a key to his house on my key ring right now.

        1. For reasons I won't go into here but I've written about on my blog so they aren't a secret, we needed to get along. And after pretending for a while it just got easy cause I didn't/don't love him anymore. Sometimes two people work best as friends and unfortunately, we had to get married to find that out.

    1. LMAO!!! I can't with this video…she straight put the fade on both of em. "Make sure somebody got the bail money, cuz I'm finna whoop his ass"

  14. I have been on the wrong end of damaged property mkre than once. But, me and ol’ girl got bacl..together a month later. All the reasons you gave were on point, but if the two folks stay on a retarded cycle of destruction, it’s all for naught.

  15. I agree with the basic premise of the article and I have never destroyed the personal property of another after a break up. HOWEVER, I applaud the crazy people who do this stuff lol. Some dudes don't understand the walk away and upgrade methods. They need to FEEL the pain. They don't learn from it unless it truly affects the things or people THEY love.

    So, I salute all the Jazmine Sullivans and Left Eyes of the world! It's a crappy job, but someone's gotta do it!!
    My recent post 2012 BET Awards: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

  16. I once sat in jail for 2 days for something that I wasn't responsible for. I got cleared but that experience taught me something important: I'm d*mn sure never going back! What's more, I really like my personal possessions and would be SICK if a guy decided to retaliate in the same fashion. My mantra is "If he would push me to this point, what am I really fighting for?" At that point break out the "get em girl pumps" and find a replacement.

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