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Should You Worry If Your Man’s Friends Hate You?


Check out the latest post from Dr. J via Madame Noire:

It’s no secret to anyone who follows Hip Hop and Entertainment that the rumor’s out; Jay-Z and Beyonce aren’t taking too nicely to Kanye’s girlfriend, Kim Kardashian. My initial reaction to this news was that it was pretty obvious that not all four of those people would get along. Jay and Bey have always struck me as extremely private people, meanwhile, Kim lives her life in the limelight almost 24/7. The real question is, should Kim spend a lot of time trying to figure out a way to get into their inner circle, or just leave it alone? In my opinion, she’s best to leave it alone.

There are several reasons why your boyfriend’s close friends may not actually like the person he’s dating. At times, it’s not even a great sense of dislike, but disconnect of mutual connection points required for a potential friendship. Keep in mind that as a girlfriend, your main connection point with your man is emotional, with his friends it’s friendship. Moreover, it’s rare that two people who are the exact same are in a relationship. Often times, opposites attract. With that said, it’s a good chance that you have nothing in common with his friends.

Furthermore, there are fundamental differences in the way men and women develop friendships. Most men are likely to develop friendships early in life and keep them forever. Women possess the ability to meet women along the way and then build and maintain really meaningful friendships. What this means for you is that there’s a chance most of your boyfriend’s friends are comfortable with their current circle and aren’t looking to add to it.

Personally, I’ve always struggled with assumptions that placed expectations on my actions. Many times, my best male friends have dated women that I didn’t much care for at all. It didn’t mean that maybe my male friends and I didn’t have much in common, but maybe we don’t have the same taste in women. That’s not a reason for us to stop being friends; I’m not the one he’s looking for as a romantic companion in life.

There are three points of advice that I can pass to you if you’re struggling to understand the distance between your boyfriend’s friends and yourself.

Check out the rest of the article on MadameNoire! SBM Community share your thoughts below!


  1. Am I worried his friends hate me? no. I wish they would they're too comfortable with me.

    "Demand respect over friendship." I've found I have an almost, Azula way of getting people to respect me. It's now a burden how calculated I am and it's a personal stretch to concentrate on the necessity of having friends and long-term attachments. Supposedly that's what his represent to him. Companionship. Support. but not really. They're less than sub par, have no hope for greatness, have no redeeming qualities and are generally low quality human beings. There's nothing satiating about subjecting them to the full scope of my wrath for weeks on end….on a daily basis….with a strategy on how to permanently cripple them. I needed it to be clear, we were never friends and we never will be. I really don't feel like pulling a KimK and running permanent damage control on an outbreak of sexuality. and no, you don't get to smell the room after I dutch oven your boy. Get outta here. I needed them to at least follow commands. He slaps them around just as much as I do.

  2. I think folks are assuming that they don't like Kim because they aren't all over her and her and Bey aren't instant bff's. They may not like all the controversy surrounding Kim K….but I doubt kanye cares.
    I think it depends on the person your with and how close he is with his friends. Some friends have a lot of influence and if they don't like you they will negatively influence your partner. If the person has their own mind and uses it then it shouldn't be a problem.

  3. there are more important things for kim to be worried about -like how she going to sustain this relationship- than to concern herself with who likes her and who doesnt. can’t blame Bey tho, Kim has a hell of a record. and she’s everything Bey has fought hard not to be. Personally, I may get a lil worried if my man’s friends don’t like me. but i won’t be trying to get them to.

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