Home Featured What’s Your Name, What’s Your Sign: Why I Can’t Stand Astrology and Those Who Swear By It

What’s Your Name, What’s Your Sign: Why I Can’t Stand Astrology and Those Who Swear By It

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different astrological signs
“Who they attracting with that line …”

So, you’re in the middle of a conversation with someone new and interesting. The conversation is going well and you’re both getting more and more comfortable sharing your lives’ most elucidating tidbits. You’re winding down one particularly enlightening story and looking to them to see if they appreciate the insight into your life you’ve just anecdotally given them when with a deep and abiding seriousness they say:  “Hmmmm… What’s Your Sign?”  This, for me, is one of the most disappointing responses anyone can ever give. When it’s happened to me I’ll usually respond with a certain measure of confusion.

Wondering whether or not I’ve somehow misjudged this person, I’ll say, “Uh, I think I’m a Cancer … my birthday is July 21st.” Then the conversation goes south. They’ll usually proceed to talk about how everything that’d been said previously makes more sense now that they know I’m a Cancer, and how even if I hadn’t told them if they had to guess, they probably would have guessed that I am a Cancer. Those of you reading this right now, who are really into astrology, are probably thinking that everything I’m saying is very much something a Cancer would say. Whatever homey.

Now, let me say, it’s not that I have some particular aversion to astrology. I think astrology is cool and fun the same way fortune cookies and going to get your palm read are cool and fun. I think most people have a general level of appreciation for astrology. Most of us know our signs and most of us have a general idea of the characteristics associated with our signs. Some people take it way too far though. The first sign that someone may have a bit of an unhealthy relationship with astrology is when they know the start and end date for, not only their sign but for every sign there is. That sort of knowledge sits right on the cusp of excessiveness.

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Knowing the start and end dates is one thing, but knowing the start and end dates, and knowing all of the subsequent characteristics of each sign is a sure sign that you probably take astrology way too seriously.

The History of Astrology

Before I go into why folks reading too much into astrological signs annoy me, I want to talk a little bit about their history. Astrology as we know it is based on the zodiac. The zodiac is a series of constellations that are viewable in the night’s sky along the thin band of space our sun appears to pass through as it revolves around the Earth (I know, the Sun doesn’t revolve around the Earth – just stay with me). That path is called the ecliptic.

To make it more simple, imagine our sun as one of those highlighting markers that we all used as a study tool in college. As it appears to travel across our sky throughout the year, imagine the sun highlighted the path that it traveled on. In the night time, if you could still view that highlighted path, the constellations of stars that would rest in that path are what make up the zodiac. In order, those constellations are Ares, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces.

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astrological signs
You are here.

There is no concrete, definitive answer on when humans first began grouping stars into constellations and then using earthly allusions to describe those constellations. Some say it was the Ancient Greeks (because of course, ancient Greeks created like everything – supposedly). Some say it predates Ancient Greece and goes all the way back to Babylon where Babylonian astronomers divided the constellations in the ecliptic into 12 equal parts to help determine the seasons. Regardless of where it began, the idea of associating particular personal character traits to individuals born during particular months was most definitely born in Ancient Greece. Greeks followed what is now called a macrocosm/microcosm view of the universe. They believed that certain truths were held on all levels of human perception, all levels of the cosmos. As it is above – so it is below.

But there are a few problems with associating this kind of power to the zodiac. First and foremost, the zodiac is based on a geocentric view of the relationship of the earth to the universe. In a geocentric view, the Earth is at the center of the universe and the sun, moon and all of the stars in the sky all revolve around us. We thought this was the case a few thousand years ago, we now know it’s not. The sun doesn’t revolve around us, we revolve around it. Also, in theory – if the Ancient Greek macrocosm/microcosm ideology holds true then each constellation represented by a particular Zodiac sign should take up a physical distance equivalent to about 30 days of time distance. In real life, that’s not the case. If the physical size of the constellations directly correlated to Earth time (as it should), then based on the size of its associated constellation, Sagittarius would make up something like 4 or 5 months.

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Lastly, and most importantly, we know there shouldn’t be any real personality associations with the Zodiac because … brace yourself … the constellations themselves are completely made up!  Basically, some ancient Babylonian farmer looked up in the sky and decided to play connect the dots. He saw some stars bunched together and started relating them to things he encountered in his everyday life like lions and crabs and bulls and rams. That’s really all it is.  If we were to do the same thing today our signs would be based on the Apple logo, the Nike swoosh and Alberto Korda’s portrait of Che Guevera. Folks born under the Apple logo would be “Jobs,” under Jordan would be “Jumpmen” and under Guevera would be “Guerrilleros.”

And in terms of personality traits, Jobs’ would be techies, Jumpmen would be athletic and Guerrilleros would be anti-authority revolutionary types. People would swear these traits held up. My point is, it’s all completely and utterly arbitrary. (Gon’ head and continue to the next page to learn why I can’t stand Zodiac Enthusiasts…)

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your astrology vs partner's astrology
I bet some of y’all are saving this … smh.

And that is what annoys me most about zodiac signs – that something so thoroughly arbitrary can dictate and influence so much of people’s lives. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone mention their inherent incompatibility with people born of a particular zodiac sign. Inherent incompatibility!? I mean, some dudes won’t even talk to Capricorns and some women won’t give a Gemini the time of day (all Gemini’s lie). If you exclude potential love interests because of their zodiac sign and then end up spending the rest of your life alone as the “old man in the club” or “cat lady,” you know what, I won’t feel sorry for you.

Back to the example I used to kick this post off: asking someone their sign as a means of garnering a better understanding of why that person is the way they are, after they’ve just shared something with you that was aimed at helping you understand why they are the way they are, makes you look pretty silly in my book. At the bare minimum, you’re losing cool points. For those of you who feel the same way I do about this, the next time you share a story with a friend and they ask you your sign, lie to them.

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Tell them you’re anything other than your true sign. After they explain to you why you being an (insert random sign) makes total sense, tell them you were kidding, then tell them your real sign. The awkward silence that ensues will be the perfect means of subtly disengaging from that conversation.

The Fun Behind your Zodiac

Like I said, I’m not totally Anti-Zodiac (ok, maybe I am). I can at least appreciate the humor and fun in seeing how closely people match up with their sign or what a zodiac sign says about us. Even I appreciate a little intra-zodiac rivalry. I think most people are like me in that regard. But there definitely seem to be a pretty significant number of people out there who really … really … believe in the zodiac in an almost religious sort of way. If you’re one of those people, please comment. Enlighten me. Put me on. I just don’t get it.

Stay Low and Keep Firing… If you like partying, then this post on “What Type of Partier You Are” will definitely interest you!

p.s. Shout out to all my Cancers! #TeamCancer #CancerSeason

Mr Spradley
Email: [email protected]                            Twitter: @MrSpradley

 

 

 

 

Comment(98)

  1. I gotta agree, I could care less about Zodiac signs. However, I was fortunate enough to be born a Scorpio and well, this has rarely been frowned upon. To your point, it does annoy me when I tell someone my sign and they go "oh yeah, you're totally a Scorpio" as if they wouldn't have said the same thing no matter what sign I said…. that does annoy me.

    Also, #RatchetHoroscopes is coming soon.

    1. Scorpio's are the biggest freaks and the bomb in …………………um never mind. Let me shut my mouth before I say too much.
      Hey where is Doc J with the Floaters "Float On" song. He always provides the best theme music….lol
      btw, I like Scorpio's very much. My mom and my close friends are Scorpio's. <message> *smile*

      1. Where does that (Truth) myth come from? I recently had someone say that when they figured out I was a Scorpio. I mean, that's a hell of a reputation someone has to keep up.

        1. According to astrological 'myth', each sign has a ruling/vulnerable/somewhat-important-to watch-out-for body part. Guess what Scorpios' are? Bingo.
          I follow astro stuff for the entertainment value, but I do find it interesting that people go all "second amendment" when they read that about scorpios (ie-they interpret what they want). Just because chex is important to them doesn't make them automatically amazing at it. **shrug**

  2. I don’t know if I am a Zodiac enthusiast but I definitely am one of those people that let the zodiac influence how I date (notice I said influence not dictate). And what most baffles/amazes me is not what I’ve discovered or read before something happens. I do not live my life by horoscopes or zodiac compatibility. But when I go back and reflect on the relationship I had with certain people and then I look up our compatibilty zodiac wise and I find that the zodiac lines up with what I’ve experienced already, it seems to hold a bit of truth in it. Bottom-line is that the people who look to astrology do so because it has worked for them in the past. They can find some truth there. People are always going to look for ways to explain their worlds and to explain human behavior. And the measures for those things are often arbitrary. Whether it’s psychology, sociology, and anthropology or a Myers Briggs personality test, enneagram, religion or what have you, somebody somewhere made it up one day and spent the rest of their life trying to prove it’s validity. So you shouldn’t be so hard on people for looking for answers in “arbitrary” measures. Because thats the most human thing in the world. I consider myself a scholar of life and I’ll learn from any ancient spiritual wisdom trying to teach me, whether thats God or the stars that He made.

  3. ok so astrology has multiple planets and they have different signs….so no one person is just their "sun sign" the zodiac sign of the month you were born in…there are moon signs(how you feel or how you are emotionally)….venus sign (how you love)…. mars sign (how you get angry/your passion)… and so forth and each of those have their own zodiac sign and depending on the degree of the zodiac sign depends on how much it influences your personality….also the signs have their own decan sign as well
    Also your sun sign – the month you were born under is something you should aspire to be technically and how you are perceived by people (1st impression) is your rising sign …. you can find this info out if you do a natal chart (you can pay or do it for free) i.e. my Sun sign = Gemini…. Rising sign = Aries…. Moon Sign = Scorpio….. Mars = Aries….. Venus = Taurus……so if you're looking for sign compatibility you should have the other persons Mars and Venus and Moon sign as well because those influence probably more than the Sun sign

  4. I agree completely. Astrology is just entertainment to me. I didn't think anyone ACTUALLY believed in it. Recently started hanging out with a guy (friend) who seriously seriously believes in it. I was flabbergasted. You know when you meet someone you think is cool and normal and then suddenly they start telling you about Big Foot. That's how I felt.

    1. HOLLA! Yaaaaay Leo's. And my b-day is on a sat this year and I will be mini cruising. Got to take full advantage of it when your b-day is on the weekend….*smile*

      1. Mine is on a stinkin Monday, the 20th, but I shall be up in Atlantic City working them poker tables that weekend..lol

        Happy early birthday miss Bree!

      1. happy b-day fellow lady leo…..mine is next sat. My brothers is the same day and the President's b-day is next sat too.
        Are u doin anything special Amaris?

  5. Your horoscope may be off because you're a cusp (cancer/leo) I am one too (gemini/cancer, Jun22). Astrology can be a HOBBY to gain greater knowledge into your motivations and negative traits. As a profession or a way to predict the future is charlatanism. This is post is so appropriate because I was choppin it up with someone this weekend and in the midst of all our fun he asked my sign and I said a cancer and he said " you know we're not supposed to get along, like not at all" He was an aquarius.

  6. I believe there are certain people of various signs people are more compatible with. But not everyone fully matches their sign. Some folks do have some characteristics of their zodiac sign. Some have more characteristics than others. Of course a persons personality is not just based on their zodiac sign.
    Chinese astrology is based on your birth-date and what animal best represents you. I'm far from being anything like a damn rooster, except maybe when I rocked that crazy azz colored mohawk hairstyle for a hair show…..lol
    Then there's the numbers too. The guy on Mike Baisden's show Lloyd Strayhorn is supposed to be an expert in this. There are some commonalities, but it's hard to decipher the root of them and why they are.
    It's entertaining but not something u should be basing your life on. It ain't that deep.

  7. Totally agree. It's something fun to do and consider, but shouldnt influence the way you look at a person. Like Young Heaux, I knew someone who was crazy about it and would often say things like, "See, because you're a Cancer….." Nah.

  8. #TeamARIES!! LMAO!!!

    And Mr. Spradley, I have been scarred by quite a few Cancers!! 🙁 hmmmm….. I wonder what that means?

      1. Personally I think Aries are pretty cool. Every Aries I've met so far have been really chill and cool people to hang out with. Never met an Aries I didn't like 🙂

  9. Cosign 100%. It's good entertainment, but that's it.

    I was curious after seeing that chart to find out if my girl and I were compatible. I'm a Gemini, and although I know her birthday, I never once even thought about what her Zodiac sign was, and had to look it up. Turns out that she's a Scorpio. (Lining up Gemini with Scorpio on the chart) uh oh, a little black heart! I better call her now and give her the bad news!

    Sidenote: I am a little disturbed that I saw Aries mistyped as Ares, and thought immediately of the Greek god of war instead of the ram. Then again, maybe Aries are warlike and belligerent, I don't know what their characteristics are supposed to be.

      1. I joke, I joke! I kid, I kid! Perhaps I know a little too much about Greek mythology, so seeing Ares made me think of Ares instead of Aries.

    1. Gemini and Scorpio are actually good together despite popular belief but you probably have other planets lining up not just your sun sign

  10. The same construct of Astrology is the same on for religion. That's why I can't really be all that mad at someone who believes in it so much. Christians believe in a whole bunch of stuff that really don't make all that much sense or lost their relevance 2,000 years ago. Faith is the belief in things not seen.

    What bothers me to no end is how they give everyone advice in a way that you can't deny it's truth.

    "Libras are very detail oriented, however, they tend to use broad strokes in life."

    WHAT IN THEE HELL?

    That's why people can always say, "I'm such a Capricorn." It's because the way it's written, all your characteristics completely describe any possible person. "Capricorns are talkative, but also take a long time to process a thought into words." WTF?

    I love having a conversation with someone and they tell me all this stuff about myself that makes sense to them but I tell them real reasons.

    Her: You're such a Libra. You aim to please everyone.
    Me: I ain't know I was a Libra until 2006. I'm an only child, I really like being around people since I wasn't for so long in my life.
    Her: You're such a Libra. You take forever to make a decision.
    Me: I'm a n*gga. Like if we had waited to make a decision about hanging out with those white people, we might have been in Africa right now.
    Her: You're such a Libra. You never judge anyone for their actions.
    Me: Nope, I judge you. I just don't tell you about it. I'm an only child, we notice everything.

    1. No shade Dr.J, but I've been close friend with a Libra for over 25 years (but I'm still young:) and um….ya'll do take FOREVER to make a decision, homie. 🙂 My two closest friends are Libras though, so its all good. I do think some personality traits line up with certain signs but everyone is an individual.

      I think its fun and I do like to know what people's signs are. Sue me. First, you can't ask ninjas what they do for a living……now you can't ask about their birth dates either. Sigh. Let me take my sensitive self on up out of here…….Cancers stand up!!!

      1. "First, you can't ask ninjas what they do for a living……now you can't ask about their birth dates either. Sigh. Let me take my sensitive self on up out of here…"

        Just smile and wave, ladies! Just smile and wave! LOL!!

      2. Yeah… I wouldn't argue that you can't believe in astrology and participate in it. I only stated that I think it's all relative to believing in what you please to believe in, and that it's confusing to me because sometimes it's contradictory.

        Now with my example, humorous example. Even in Chrisitanity, I can thank God for getting a new job. Or I can say, well I got this job because I went to a great school and have excellent experience. It's all subjective to how you want to view it.

        But you're welcome to view things how you want.

      3. I agree! I always say, ask to Libras what they want to do and you'll have no answer.

        Libra 1: What do you want for dinner tonight?
        Libra 2: It's up to you.
        Libra 1:Thai? Or pizza?
        Libra 2:I could do both.
        Libra 1:Me too. What do you really want?
        Libra 2:Doesn't matter.

        So we starve, lol

    2. You probably haven't actually done your research with astrology…. you are more than just your sun sign which I'll assume is Libra we have different signs as well i.e. moon sign/venus/mars/pluto/jupiter this is why astrology is popular not the bogus compatibility reading that just compare sun signs…..

      1. I have no interest in doing that much research into Astrology.

        Like my example before… I am more than welcome to pick God as my reason for why things work out, you're welcome to pick Allah, someone else can pick Siddhartha if they want. None of it is really right or wrong. So if you want to do all that studying into Astrology, knock yourself out. I can have my own justification for my actions and personality traits.

    3. I think astrology is fascinating. Like someone said – there is a LOT more to astrology than just your sun sign. How can you possibly fit every person in the world into 12 tiny little boxes?? You can't! But in astrology there is also where your planets line up, the houses they line up in, and the planets in relation to eachother. So only until you get a FULL natal reading done can you really make sens of it. I have had my full reading done and it hit the head. I am a Pisces and everything seemed a lot like me except it said I was lazy. Lazy is the last word ANYONE would use to describe me. After looking at my natal chart – I have a lot of planets lined up in Capricorn which overshadows those characteristics. Also, astrology does not consider LIFE EXPERIENCE which shapes the way we behave as well. At the end of the day, I think it's a good learning tool for self-discovery as well as in relationships. Trying to understand who your partner is and how they think is never a bad thing. Using it to determine your dates?? Uh ya! That's a little far!

  11. First, I'd like to say that Gemini's master the art of conversation. We are NOT liars! We know how to tell the complete truth without disclosing unnecessary information. LMBO! #TeamGemini

    I don't live by astrology at all. I NEVER read horoscopes. But, I do see SOME truth to zodiac profiles…here and there. I've mentioned on this site before that I struck out with not one, not two, but THREE Tauruses. Y'all see that black heart up there on the chart? Coincidence? LOL! Live by it or not, I'm not dating any dudes born between 4/21 and 5/21. Any other birthday is an option. My bf is a Saggitarius…the opposite sign…and this is the most balanced relationship I've ever had. Could be the zodiac…or it could be the fact that we're older with completely different life experiences that give us a very broad view of life and how we should live it.

    1. Cyn what will u think if you break up with your current bf and the next man that u fall in love with and marry is a …………..gasp…………………Taurus. lol

    2. First, I'd like to say that Gemini's master the art of conversation. We are NOT liars! We know how to tell the complete truth without disclosing unnecessary information. LMBO! #TeamGemini

      Ummm this right here is why I refuse to date anymore Geminis, but they are drawn to me!! lol Usually the "unnecessary information" you speak of is the most pertinent. But since I don't know you, I'll take it easy…
      My recent post Dear TT: He Gave Me A Promise Ring

        1. I use my gifts for good and evil, depending on my needs at the time.

          BWA HA HA HA HA!

          (Gemini Twin laughing with me: "BWA HA HA HA!")

  12. Man, people just want to have a defining guide to everything in life. I continuously lie to people about the my "sign" just to hear them mumble some crap about how I fit whatever mold they imagine.

    Take a look at the characteristics of each sign, and compare them to each other. Half of them mimic each other with maybe one or two strong defining differences. And yet people put so much stock into it.

    SMH

    1. This x 1000! ….people seriously think one trait of one is completely not associated with another. For example that whole Libra convo upthread and how all Libras take forever to make a decision….so, are they suggesting that no other person that is of a different sign takes forever? Or that ALL Libras take forever…nah ,homie. More ppl needed.

  13. Honestly, I think horoscopes are a girl thing. I find it odd when dudes bring it up to me. "What's your sign? You'e an Aries? You don't act like an Aries." Is that supposed to be a compliment or a diss? *shrug* That being said, it's nothing I would ever bring up to a person I just met. It's always been something that I just found out by happenstance later on. On top of that, according to most things I read, the hubmeister and I would not be considered good mates. I would've missed out on something great if I would have put a lot of stock into that. And he DOES act like a Taurus so..,… yea. I do, however, enjoy reading about what my characteristics are supposed to be like and finding any inklings of truth there. Maybe that's because Aries are so friggin AWESOME! Fire signs baybee YESSSS! *throws hands in air and thrusts pelvis*

    1. Aries here! (March 31st)…I personally like astrology…It can be fun…When it's taken TOO seriously though, that's when things can get a bit strange…I've never filtered out potential dates by sign

  14. i don’t take astrology too seriously. I’m a gemini and apparently they get a bad rep *trizzy shrug*. I’m talking to this girl who is deep into astrology like everything I say or do she’s quick to say “thats so gemini” *cue live studio audience applause*. I’d like to think im more than stereotype based on my birthday. I’m a product of my environment, my mother was compassionate my father has a Bruce Banner temper I have both. I’m not very social because stupidity irks me, i think a lot because i hate being wrong….its who i am.

    1. "I'm not very social because stupidity irks me, i think a lot because i hate being wrong"

      You are describing me to a T and yes I"m a Gemini too

  15. I'm very into astrology. The problem is people let one sign dictate their whole view. There is no possible way that every person on this planet can be grouped into 12 signs. It's deeper than that but you have the right to your opinion. On the flip side, this is how I feel about Christianity…completely arbitrary and made up.

  16. i don't live by signs, though i do remember not knowing anything about the zodiac until i was in college. i was talking with friends and one said, "oh gosh you must be an Aquarius" and they all looked at me crazy when i shrugged and informed them i had no idea what sign i was or wasn't. well, they were right, so of course i had to go read up on this Aquarius title they were placing on me. it was quite jarring. like someone had written my diary. so, ever since then i enjoy reading them to see if they align, but i'd never guide my life by it.

    i just know Aquarians are the best of them all.

    lol
    My recent post Beautiful, and Other Thoughts.

  17. I don't read too much into zodiac signs because alot of them tend to come with big misconceptions although I know some people who share the same sign and they tend to share the same traits/personalities which I find mind boggling so if there is any sign that I would definitely have to nod my head and be like "oh yeah He/She is definitely……" it would have to be a LEO. . Ya'll are something else, *smh* but I tend to mess well with them though,

    I'M A SCORPIO and NO for the 76,894,425 time I am not A FREAK… well at least I don't think I am *schoolgirlgiggle*

  18. This was cool. It took me back to childhood when I was into Greek Mythology and Astrology and Global Studies and Archaeology. It brought up some good memories and old dreams, lots of little projects that I scrapped as I grew up. I really don't care to step that far back into my psyche to hold a full blown discussion on it but it was really cool to have a memory bubble of young me float up into the cloudspace of my daydreams. I always thought it wasn't so much the Zodiac as it was the time of year the person was born which factors into how they develop character traits etc. etc. and it being relatively the same on a universal level. Obviously, being born in the summer in certain conditions in one part of the world isn't the same as being born at the same time where it's winter and with different conditions, but I'm sure there's a connection to be gleaned in how such people develop.

    1. "….asking someone their sign as a means of garnering a better understanding of why that person is the way they are, after they’ve just shared something with you that was aimed at helping you understand why they are they way the are, makes you look pretty silly in my book."

      No doubt. and that's with a lot of stuff too — not just arbitrary things. My pet peeve is being asked my age, level of education and what I do for a living….immediately after a detailed description of my life allowing for SOME sort of higher thought process on my personal development. You really couldn't glean my mentality from this extensive excerpt of the highs and lows of my life? and now I have to essentially take an iota of me and normalize the iota because the complete truth would fry your mind. When you ask me something stupid after I've said something extraordinary it makes you look like a waste of time who needs coddling. The conversation is a series of insults after the fact.

  19. Astrology doesn't dictate who I will date and won't date, but I do find it more than a coincidence that I tend to attract mostly Geminis and Tauruses, and Geminis are crazy as hell, but I seem to be able to handle them relationship-wise and friendship-wise. ALL the Geminis I know have extreme personalities. They're either extremely loud or extremely quiet. They're just extra.

    It's fun to find out about signs and read about them, but I only know about the signs of people with whom I've interacted. I think there's something to them. I don't write astrology off completely.
    My recent post Dear TT: He Gave Me A Promise Ring

  20. I enjoy astrology. I've had my natal chart done and I read my horoscope in any entity that has horoscopes. and I have bad luck with Virgo Men. it is what it is. lol

  21. I'm a lurker and never made a comment here before (I guess), but I enjoy the maturity of the topics and discussions that come with: very enriching. I know this isn't the best way to ask for HELP, but the sites "Need Advice?" link doesn't seem to be working right now.

    Here's my prob:
    I'm a man in my mid-30's dating a late 20's lady. We have been together for 3 years, but the relationship has been nothing but toxic. We live together and breaking up has been very hard simply because she just wouldn't let go. She is a beautiful woman but is very clingy, insecure, controlling, disrespectful, and has enormous trust issues. She doesn't trust me enough to go to the car-wash by myself, and when I'm out of her sight, would would call my phone incessantly till I answer, sometimes calling me over 100 times in a 2 hour span. i have not met more than a handful of her friends because she doesn't trust me/them.

    I finally moved out of the house we shared 6 months ago but she promptly packed up her stuff up and tracked me down by coming to my job. Since she had no where else to go, I let her move in with me for another month. Her friends advised her to move out of state to get over me, which she did and moved from PA to TX. However, 5 weeks afterwards she moved right back to PA from TX to be closer to me.

    She recently convinced me to let her back into my home, but after living together for a month, I now know for sure that we just are not meant to be together as a couple. I care for her but I am definitely NOT in love with her.

    I don't want to get the cops involved because these things will haunt our reputation for years to come (everything gets posted online nowadays). Now I'm asking her that we go our separate ways again, but she would break down crying, saying things like: nothing good would ever come to you in life; you will never bear children with another woman, etc. What can I do?

    1. Break your own lease and move…but this time, change your number and advise your job that you won't be taking visits from her.

      She'll live.

    2. Bruce: "…but the relationship has been nothing but toxic."

      "but is very clingy, insecure, controlling, disrespectful, and has enormous trust issues."

      I think you have your answer. Unless living in a toxic relationship with a clingy, insecure, controlling, disrespectful person isn't one of your dealbreakers in a woman, you have to cut it off completely. Breaking up isn't easy, but by your own words, you are "definitely NOT in love with her", and she's a little nuts to boot. Be firm that although you care for her, it's over.

      "Now I'm asking her that we go our separate ways again, but she would break down crying, saying things like: nothing good would ever come to you in life; you will never bear children with another woman, etc."

      And this assessment is based on what? Did she reorder the position of the stars so that no good will come to you? Did she biologically alter your sperm or give you a vascetomy? She's manipulating your mind.

      1. Thanks for taking the time to throw some D's, I mean dish some advice, UH. It's very much appreciated. The writing is very on the wall for me to see, I just don't know how to break it off without leaving a huge scar on the psyche: hers and mine. She could literally lose her mind… smh

        To avoid hijacking the theme of the original post (Zodiac signs..), is there a sn SBM forum people who need help/advice? Thx!

        1. It's under "Contact Us" where you can drop a message, but there is no dedicated open forum.

          Again, it's not easy, especially being together for three years, but it's necessary. The love is not there, so by staying, you are cheating her and yourself. People have difficulty moving forward because they are standing in place looking backwards. No one wants to be the bad guy, but you have to do it. You'll both get over it.

    3. @Bruce- have you explained to her in NO UNCERTAIN terms how you feel? Once you do that, follow up with ACTION: change your cell phone number(s), move (within state or even out-of-state) and don't provide a forwarding address, change your social network sites privacy settings and unfriend her…Lots of stuff you can do to officially end it…That is, if you actually WANT to…

  22. I used to have a BIG thing for horoscopes. I still read them occasionally, for entertainment purposes. I also like numerology, Chinese zodiacs and sexual astrology. I love all of that stuff.

    I don't, by any means, swear by it. If I've dated a person I wasn't "supposed" to be compatible with, I always just saw it as a mild warning, rather than a complete road block. And nothing's wrong with a mild warning, so why not?

    Sexual astrology is really fun to read at parties. It's fun when it's accurate, but even when it's extremely wrong. Who doesn't love reading crazy ish about sex, period. As entertaining as a game of Taboo, and I LOVE board games.

    All that being said, my last OFFICIAL ex was a Cancer. According to the Big Book of Birthdays, I was supposed to be BENEFICIAL to HIM, and he was supposed to be CHALLENGING to ME. Given that he was a con man that stole several thousands of dollars from me, I'd say that was pretty dang accurate, LOL.

    1. "Given that he was a con man that stole several thousands of dollars from me, I'd say that was pretty dang accurate, LOL. "

      *Hollerin*

      Damn KitKat!!… Girl… JUST DAYUM!!

      1. LOL. That relationship had an ending straight out of COPS or Judge Judy, but I got back what I could and didn't illegally destroy any of his property in the process. There is more than one way to get even, lol. Whoo, that story could be a book.

  23. I hate the fact that I cannot take the time to peruse this, but Most, Please Get Over Yourself.

    The theme of this blogpost is arbitrary. Just like height, race, who my parent are & having down syndrome.

    The zodiac is real, so you should learn to embrace it, accept it, & then evolve beyond it.

    That being said, I will peruse this a bit later, and write a more balanced post.

    Zodiac be the sh* yo

  24. There is too much gray area in this zodiac discussion, and I, lack expertiste at this juncture. I just find zodiac signs more true, than not true in my daily observations. But the logic in me feels absolutely silly. But I'll forge on

    I, am a Pisces. I fins myself attracted to Scorpios, Pisces & Tauruses.

    If I have a son, in addition to all the wonderful parenting lessons I will bestow upon him, I hope he ends up being an Aquarius, Leo, Scorpio or a Sag.

    Daughter, Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio, or a Capricorn. I think it would make my job easier.

  25. Well, mr spradley, after reading most of the comments it seems many people say they agre with you but their actions tells otherwise. the sun & stars are more ingrain in us than we thought. i think if you go back in your mind to all the females that were very close to your heart, their zodiac sign was compatible to yours.

  26. #TeamAquarius 🙂
    Late, But Ima still represent!
    About the zodiac…I generally go with it. Its purely entertainment, but I gotta say twitter got some great zodiac spots. I find myself in awe over it! lol! I dont put too much stock in them due to my BF and BFFs being Taurus which is kinda strange, but Tauruses(sp?) are cool ppl in general 😀

  27. Thank you!!! 1,000 times over. I couldn’t of said it better myself. If I’m being judged based on what month I happened to be born on than I don’t know what to tell you, smh.

    ” For those of you who feel the same way I do about this, the next time you share a story with a friend and they ask you your sign, lie to them. Tell them you’re anything other than your true sign”

    I’m waaaay ahead of you. I do this all the time with ppl who I figure are zodiac enthusiast. And every.single.time they tell me, “You know, that makes perfect sense!”. I have never had anyone tell me they were surprised I was a (enter random zodiac sign here). All of the the traits/characteristics are so general anyway they can apply to anyone if you stretch it far enough. Ok..I’m done, lol.

  28. Sagittarius in the buildinSagittarius in the building!

    I think astrology/signs are fun! They are great for conversation (I mean, look at this comment thread!) and I really do think that each sign has unique characteristics. Are signs all black and white? No, but there tends to be a general theme to each sign. I don't go around asking what people's signs are (I'm not that interested in your life like that), but it's most interesting – and pretty cool – when someone discloses (without asking) their sign and you picked up on it from their natural mannerisms and general character. Most, you should try it! 🙂

  29. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and
    wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing to your
    rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!

  30. Googled “Black astrology” and your article was the top result. I am an astrology enthusiast but I don’t based my ice-breaker conversations on “Hey baby, what’s your sign” like we’re stuck in the ’70s. It kills the vibe and its so generic. But I must admit, I do bring astrology up often after I’ve known a person for a couple of months.

    And shout-out to all my fellow sexy Scorpios 🦂.
    #TeamScorpio

  31. Astrology is just another way to control humanity. You are a prisoner of this shat because you are being judged for something you feel you have no control over, you’re cattle. If you want to find your identity in astrology, then you will. You will become what you believe in and you will look for and focus on these traits in other people depending on their zodiac sign. I can recall when I was younger I was not like my zodiac sign but as I read more into it, I became it. I’d rather not let them decide in the end who I will become.

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