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Five Things You Should Never Say to Kids

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Relax, it’s Friday. This post isn’t intended to make you cry, unless it’s from laughter. I was recently having a conversation with my boy about stuff you can’t tell your kids. For example, when’s the right time to tell your kids about divorce or that their daddy spent some time in jail? We began to think about a short list of things that you should probably never say to a kid. As parents, sometimes we feel a great obligation to our children to tell them the truth at all times. Personally, I feel like if we’re going to let them believe in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus, a few more white lies won’t hurt them. This is a true story, I have a friend who just found out she was adopted. She’s 28. Her mother wanted to wait until her brain had fully developed to tell her. For women, that happens at age 27. That’s not messed up, or a sad story, it’s actually not a big deal to her at all. She found out at 28 and she didn’t feel any type of way about it at all.

Anyway, here’s 5 more things you should never say to kids.

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There are moments when you have to play the Dark Knight and give your kids the hero that they need. When I was younger, I was a horrible cousin and I told my cousin the truth about virginity. It worked out because it scared her straight, but that may not have worked for everybody. Point  is, don’t tell your kid that the first person they sleep with, probably won’t be the last. They really don’t need to know that at a young age. They should believe that when they’re ready and in love, they will have sex and live happily ever after. If you must tell them, meet in the middle. Just let them know that after they sleep with three people, they won’t be considered innocent anymore.

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Comment(10)

  1. As I become older and study psychology more, I now understand that one of the biggest reasons I hung out at my Uncle's crib instead of with my father or mother is because they slightly "belittled" one another when they divorced. I was in a two parent home up until the beginning of HS and to escape it all I pretty much just hung out with my uncle. Everyone has a cool a$$ Uncle btw. But I do know never to "belittle" my wife/child's mother(not that I have any) in front of my children. No matter how angry she may make me, because in the end the child might not trust neither of you or have to choose sides. And that's never a comfortable position to put your child.
    My recent post Fat Girl Lovin'- 6 Reasons Why Sex with a Fat Girl is Better

  2. I agree with all of these except the truth about virginity and how they were conceived.
    I don't think u should lie to kids about sex at all , or make up stupid stories and tell them myths.
    What helped me in my life dealing with sex and sexual issues and made me be much more responsible than other kids was that i knew the truth about sex. I knew the consequences of it and I knew what it was. I knew the responsibilities that came with sex. Even my first ob/gyn when I was 17 talked to me very openly and frankly about sex. He made sure to tell me that bc pills were not 100% effective, especially if they were taken incorrectly. He also told me they didn't protect from STD's. He told me to make sure I used condoms and if I had a boyfriends who wanted sex and didn't have condoms to "just say no." He told me some of the lines boys would use if they knew I was taking bc pills to get me to quickly & easily have sex with them. In fact he told me not to tell any of my friends and boyfriends that I was on the pill.

    1. My family has always been very open, honest and frank with all of us about sex. We all never had kids out of wedlock and remained drug and disease free. Being sexually educated definitely helped me in many ways when I was a kid and a teen, and it still "keeps me out of trouble" now.
      It's not a good look when a 17 yr old girl ask her peers questions like – "do sperm really swim?" "Do they swim like fish?" "Is that how they get to the egg?" Not a good look when u find out in religion class that your classmate had her first sexual encounter at 7 yrs old and thinks nothing is wrong with it. True stories.
      It's especially embarrassing when your grown and over 30 and are clueless about your own body and sexual organs.
      I think the more informed kids are about sex, and the more they know the truth about sex, the more educated and responsible decisions they tend to make when they have to deal with sexual issues.

    2. I think you're talking about something very different than what I am saying. I agree with all those points, however, I wasn't talking about not talking about sex to your children. I was saying leaving out the nasty details that an undeveloped mind cannot comprehend. Please review the examples I gave and think if that's appropriate material for children. Just like you give you kids Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, you have to give them their innocence.

  3. Ok…I'm not sure what nasty details your referring to? There are some folks who don't believe in telling their kids about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy for their own personal reasons.
    I don't think parents who choose not to play up those fantasies to their kids are robbing them of innocence necessarily. Every kid is different. Some kids figure out on their own fairly quickly that there is no Santa Claus and tooth fairy. I did, I blame my dad for crushing the Santa dream. I immediately knew the difference between my father and Santa Claus.

    1. Bree, you have to read the post, you can't just run into the comments and start preaching when it's clear that you didn't read it. That's why I said, i'm actually talking about something very different than what you're talking about.

    2. I agree that kids need to be educated about sex and the world around them in general butthere's a difference between educating and traumatizing. I think it makes more sense to give a kid as much truth as they can handle, then build upon that truth as they mature.

      7. Too much truth about the family's financial troubles. As a kid I was way too involved in the family's finances and eventually became responsible for helping us stay afloat-I'm talking middle school through early adulthood! This is problematic for two reasons: a) I lost respect for (and resented) my parents because they weren't fulfilling their obligation to provide and b) once kids start making adult decisions they'll always think like an adult.

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