Paul Carrick Brunson, Modern Day Matchmaker and star of OWN’s upcoming reality show, Lovetown, USA, dropped some dating knowledge for the fellas last week on his personal site. Women (and men) have been enthusiastically in support of his article titled “10 Things Every Man Who Is Single Needs to Know.” Here are a few highlights from the article:
1) Most Playboys I Know Die Lonely
The most sympathetic I have ever felt for a client was when I was approached by a 48-year-old, self-professed “playboy for life.” I’ll never forget the call. He said with a weak voice, “Paul, I’m looking for a companion, but you only have 6 months.” And then he added, I’ve given you that amount of time because that’s the same amount of time the doctors have given me to live and I’d like to share at least one day with true love before I leave earth.” We were not built to do life alone. Don’t wait too long to settle down.
2) Being a Playa is Nothing Compared to Being a Gentleman
Chivalry is not dead, but we’re killin’ it… slowly. In our parents’ day and before, boys were taught early on what it is to be a man, and part of that was knowing how to treat a lady. And if you didn’t learn it at home, you picked it up in the community by observing how men treated women. Now I go out, and men will not hesitate to walk through a door before a woman, let alone actually take the 5 extra seconds to hold it open for her. Brothas, really?? We know better, let’s act like it (especially for the boys coming up… they’ll be what they see)!
3) There is Nothing Sexier Than a Man with a Plan
Yeah, women often profess their love for an ambitious man, but I’ve found that a man with something as simple as a basic life plan (and MEASURABLE strides taken to achieve it) typically wins. I’m not saying to give up on your audacious “Jay-Z take over the world” scheme, but if all you have to show for it over the last 5 years is a studio in your basement, it’s time to move on. Remember that all of your goals need to be S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely).
4) If You Want a 10, Be a 10 First
Self-development is not just for the ladies. We want a woman who’s got her act together (body that’ll give Buffie competition, wittier than Kerry Washington, more nurturing than Florida Evans, and one that could give bedroom lessons to Karrine Stephens). That said, are we willing to take an honest look at ourselves to see where there is room for improvement. Don’t let that male EGO stop you from being the best you can be. Michael Jackson said it best… “start with the man in the mirror.”
Additionally, Paul and I will be co-facilitating a Twitter discussion amongst men on dating and relationships this Wednesday (8/8) at 9pm ET. We’ll be asking several questions and highlighting a wide range of answers. For the ladies, this will be a great opportunity to get a look into the male mind. For the fellas, this will be a great opportunity to let women know how you and other men think. To join or follow the Twitter discussion, use the hashtags #itscomplicated #just4men. We’ll see you then!
Click here to read the rest of the article from Paul.