Happier times…
I would hope it goes without saying, but since nothing on the Internet goes without saying, I’m going to open this post by saying SBM does not condone domestic violence – by a man or a woman. In my opinion, no one within the confines of a relationship should ever put their hands (or head) on anyone – child, wife, or husband. Now, some members of the extended family do line step sometime, so you can cross that bridge as your own moral compass sees fit.
Honestly, I likely know less facts about the altercation between Chad ‘Ocho Cino’ Johnson and Evelyn Lozada than most people here. I don’t watch Basketball Wives and I’m not a fan or a hater of either Chad or Evelyn. However, like everyone else, I’ve been bombarded by the snippets of facts that have emerged so far. Today, Necole Bitchie shared Evelyn’s first public statement on the incident. On ESPN’s First Take, Stephen A Smith and Skip Bayless share their thoughts. Skip Bayless also shares a new fact – Chad Johnson was accused of domestic battery and sentenced to probation and anger management in college.
http://youtu.be/eGTdAd4Rrgk
From what we know so far, what are your thoughts on the Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozada story? Is one or both to blame? Has the physical violence promoted by reality TV lead to this inevitably?
Speak on it SBM family.
Editor’s Note: Updated August 08, 2012 1:55 EST: RadarOnline reports today that Evelyn Lozada will file for divorce: “In light of allegations of both domestic assault and a pre-marital affair, Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozada is taking a strong stance against her estranged husband Chad”Ochocino” Johnson by filing for divorce after less than six weeks of marriage.”
Chad Johnson released a separate statement on his own website later in the day.
SBM, how does this new development change your opinion, if at all?
Wooooow @ Stephen saying basically – that's what he gets for marrying that chick! Woooooow. O_O I don't even know what to say to that….
Wow.
I will say that violence on reality shows and just in life, contributes to women thinking it's cute to beat up on and slap and challenge men
glares at Joseline for a recent example. Men shouldn't hit women, no matter what. But women also need to stop hitting men, sure odds are we can't hurt them in the same way that they can physically hurt us, but you put him and yourself in a really bad situation. Use your vowels.Regardless though – we shouldn't be
putting our pawshitting each other. Period.So, Star, I guess you don't agree with this, huh…
http://www.thisisyourconscience.com/2012/08/evely…
That theory only works if once you get rich or beautiful you are no longer a human with feelings and needs. Gold Diggers fall in love too. Cheating, rich men have feelings too. In a bubble that agreement is cool, but almost no one is that cold-hearted. Whether what Ev and Chad have is love or not, the box of condoms receipt enraged her in one way or another and no maybach or stack of cash was quelling that feeling at that time.
People are people, even wealthy, beautiful ones. Or douchey, ugly, slow witted, rat faced looking ones like Steebie J. I have no doubt that in his mind, he really believe that he loves both Joseline and MiMi, but by my definintion of love, he's showing neither one of them respect or love. But in HIS mind…he's his all to those women and is truly in love. *shrug*
Wow.
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Two things crossed my mind:
1. Does this beat the Kardashian/Humphries record?
2. Is it too late for an annulment?
Violence is wrong…period. But I tend to think there's a difference between DV and fighting. In one instance, the aggressor is being a bully…the victim is scared to breathe/no will type situation. In other instances, both are victims and aggressors…they fight each other. I'm not sure which category Evelyn falls into but she's def shown behavior that has me wondering whether this was in fact Chad being abusive or a fight that she initiated and lost. This DV case in his past def tips the scale in her favor.
I'm not surprised that this happened…and I think most of the blame goes to whoever started using their head as a weapon. How they got to that point, we'll never know.
You know what? You make such a good point. Now if this is TRULY Domestic Violence, then God be with these ninjas – But you make such a great distinction between an altercation lost and true DV.
For all those who watched even a brief second of BBW, Evelyn has a temper or she just feels like she can just do what she wants physically and not get it back. I thought she was such a bully on the show. I wouldn't be surprised if she decided she could smack up on Chad and he lost his temper. Again, men should NEVER hit on women but so many women love to do the most. And then blame the man for DV.
This is sad all the way around.
While I agree at the distinction between fighting and domestic violence – I wanna be clear, no matter WHAT happened before the strike that caused damage, once you escalate to a blow that requires the assistance of 911 that is on you. I don't care if Evelyn was calling him a lil bish and twisting his nipples til they turned purple, walking away is always an option. She is wrong for putting him in that situation, but he is still responsible for his own actions. You don't strike anyone, much less a loved one, with that type of force unless they are threatening your life
or you're sexin and they're into that sorta thing. Period.+1 that there is a difference between DV and fighting.
This situation – little that we know of it is all types of crazy.
I will say this though — Evelyn is mad now because of????????? *scractcheshead* I thought she was all about that baller's wife life, she practically gave him the green light to creep just as long as he was upfront about it and used condoms, so I don't understand now why she mad.. Is it because he didn't get her okay upfront beforehand??
This whole situation is sad all the way around because now it has hindered his career and future endorsements I'm sure plus he has financial obligations (kids)
I don't think him and her are done yet though.
"…she practically gave him the green light to creep just as long as he was upfront about it and used condoms…"
Wait…I don't watch that mess so please explain this, lol. She did what?!!?
From my understanding, she has said that he can do "what it is men do etc". so long as its discreet. She has also admitted to attempting/having a 3some with him. The issue is one: many women feel that that ceremony will somehow change a philanderer to a faithful man over night two: every women has pride. J/o these days aren't going to play the back, they are going to get in your face and exert claim. Evelyn is used to stepping to these featherweights (Royce and em') its easy to see how this could have escalated.
Oooh okay.
Smh…
"many women feel that that ceremony will somehow change a philanderer to a faithful man over night"
THIS RIGHT HERE^^^^^^^
Would I want him? No. He's an athlete.
I don't pay attention to this kind of stuff but when it comes to domestic violence, I grew up in a violent household. I never made sense of how my Father was wrong for it because my mom would incessantly and with malicious intent, nag the sh*t out of him. He's an as*hole though. For real. but he'd get these migraines, he had to get this thing in his head removed a few years back cuz once or twice a year they'd bedrid him. My mother thought it was the perfect time to yell at him whenever he had a headache and he'd try to be patient and calm but she'd push just to push. and he'd snap. and as a child I thought she deserved it. I ended up growing up without him. and when she tried that with me. I don't get mad anymore unless my boundaries are crossed. I don't speak to my mother. I disowned her. and I refuse to treat a man the way she treated my father. I don't condone domestic violence but I also don't condone provoking your partner. Both are wrong. I don't know about these two and I don't care.
Ev and Chad are both 2 crazies. I think they got together and got married for sex and publicity and to try to “upgrade” each other. I think Ev wants to be another Kim K, she needs to stop and get a real job modeling or somethin. Chad is a dumbazz immature dude trying to get publicity by any means necessary.
Ev and Chad both can get a big fat “check.”
I"m 31 years young and from what I've seen in this fallen world you need three things to survive: a belief in something or someone bigger than yourself (for me, its Jesus Christ), communication skills and coping skills. SO many people in personal and professional relationships lack the Double C's: communication and coping skills. Its okay to be angry, confused, hurt, sad…..but you have to know how to deal with these emotions before they control you.
Neither Chad nor Evelyn have good 'coping' skills…..cursing people out on a regular basis, excessive need for attention and materialism are evidence of this. Communication skills are also key to successful relationships. You have to know how to approach, when to approach, how to frame your argument in a constructive rather than critical way…and JUST as important, WHEN to walk away when someone isn't listening. So many people are willing to do anything to "win" an argument….. that the real message gets lost…and the relationship does too. This incident is sad all the way around:( I'm praying for them.
I really wish I could "like" this comment a 1,000 times. Those three "C's" are KEY to life in general and definitely the longevity and health of any relationship, let alone one with a significant other. Most people, from my own experiences, fail to develop these three Cs. They'd rather win a fight or argument than have peace or keep everything bottled up until it explodes. Of course, I am far from perfect and have these problems as well, so I don't judge.
Anyway, no one really knows what happened with Evelyn and Chad, but I am so sick of seeing people blame Evelyn for Chad losing his job and losing the show. Calling her a "ho" and whatnot. Yes, she is very imperfect, but SO IS HE. Doesn't he have multiple kids by multiple women? I have YET to hear someone call him a ho. And, while I am not a fan of football, I have seen him on tv for being a showboat, while failing to cut it on the field, so, while Evelyn has her many flaws, he is 100% responsible for 50% of what happened in that relationship and that night.
I watch football religiously, I think chad is a great guy. I don't see the person y'all see at all. He is kind and easy going. Clearly I wasn't there that night, but to call him flawed based on showboating (which isn't immoral) and having multi baby mamas while this woman invited rachet …. those level of flawed are not equal. Chad is a funny guy, Chad is a nice guy. Once again I wasn't there that night, but no one here was either! But using the personalty argument to judge character: Chad wins in a landslide.
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They need a lot of prayer cancergirl08
This broad is a trip.I don't care wether Chad did it or not. We know SHE provoked it and nothing else matters. How can you marry a man you gave permission to cheat on you with on national T.V., consistently threaten and attack people ( especially ppl that you are supposed to care for), berate them for going to the police about it and then call the police, press charges, and release a public statement against your husband and violence. Totally unscrupulous and selfish. He needs to get an annulment asap. I would never call the cops on my (black) husband over some petty fight physical or verbal. That just goes to show who she really lookin out for. HERSELF. She is a WHORE. She has no right to expect to marry someone and think they should be monogamous to her. Once upon a time she was the one sleeping with other ppls husbands. Now both of their careers are at risk if not over. What is she gonna do now. All she desperately wanted was to marry some athlete and now she got him fired. You think the trick would have just stayed in her place and been grateful.
If a man knows he should never put his hands on a woman then he cannot be provoked.
No one can provoke me to smoke crack because I know it's wrong and I'd never do it under any circumstances.
You're a victim blaming like crazy.
You think she is unscrupulous and selfish?
But you don't think cheating on your wife and then beating her is not also evil incarnate? You are way too forgiving of bad behavior in men.
Obviously, if she was such a golddigger she wouldn't have called the cops. Because that would've hurt her bottom line. So the evidence points out she was actually in love and really genuinely upset he had condoms in his car….
"No one can provoke me to smoke crack because I know it's wrong and I'd never do it under any circumstances."
I'm pretty sure 85% of the crackheads out there felt this way as well.
You have no idea what your triggers are until you experience them.
"You have no idea what your triggers are until you experience them." Now this is nothing but the truth Cyn.
A couple things to remember:
1. Evelyn TOLD Chad she was Ok with hime Sleeping Around- As long as he USED RUBBERS!!!
How cn she get pissed over a receipt for Condoms, when he Clearly was Using Condoms to Sleep Around???
2. NOBODY really knows what happened, and if you actually Played the clip, you'd know, just like EVERYONE ELSE who watched BBW and Know's Evelyn's rep, that She has the Propensity to PROVOKE and CONDUCT VIOLENCE her damn self. Thowing Bottles, Spacking people, and the other antics on the 4 seasons of BBW is a Clear Picture of her Character. Just because it wasn't DOMESTIC Vilence doesn't change th efact that SHE IS VILOENT. Miss "You Not About That Life" and getting on her ex-friend Jennifer Wiliams for filing a police report on her Assistant for slapping her Isn't About That Life Either…..
Gold diggers call the cops. She had nothing to lose. She’s leaving and if it can’t get annulled she’ll get paid and get a show.
Yes cheating is wrong but she also gave him permission to play as long As he wore a helmet.
Again not saying she should be hit but there are factors that point to this relationship being unhealthy on both ends.
No men should not hit women provoked or not. I'm just looking at the bigger picture in THIS specific situation. She is overtly violent. He already told her to stop acting a thug once… and he didn't beat her. * rolls eyes*
Yes cheating on your wife is wrong blah blah blah, but you can't control people wronging you, so it is up to you to do what you can to prevent them from doing just that. In this situation, he told her he was going to cheat, so what ever happened after that was on her.
Men Shouldn't put their hands on Women, BUT Let us All be Realistic and Start Speaking Up and Out on the fact that Women ALSO NEED TO NOT HIT MEN. I'm sick and Tired of the Cop-Out that "Walking Away" Works; not when a Woman is Following, Punching, Slapping , Throwing Things AND being Verbally Beliggerent and Cursing up a storm. Maybe Many Women don't Agree or Want to Hear this, but it needs to be said: YOU THROW A PUNCH LIKE A MAN, TOWARDS A MAN-EXPECT TO BE HANDLED LIKE A MAN.
Yes and no at the end of the day chad is a 200 plus pound football player. Unless she was coming at him with a knife or gun or bat he can’t really handle her like a man. He can restrain her in order to get away, or call the police first and tell them the situation ( I’m realistic so I’m not saying option two will happen if things are out of control )
I’m not trying to victim blame. But I need a lot of women to understand that you need to keep your hands to yourself especially if your dating someone way bigger than you. If you want him out call the cops to come escort him out but don’t try to fight him, cause there’s a good chance things won’t turn out good for you.
Around my way, we said it like this…
"Don't start none, won't be none."
"No static, won't be no static" That was James Brown…..I remember that song…..lol
"YOU THROW A PUNCH LIKE A MAN, TOWARDS A MAN-EXPECT TO BE HANDLED LIKE A MAN."
That's what I heard……
Church!!!!
woman love the "you should never put your hands on a…" because is absolves them of all guilt and responsibility. A professional boxer hands are considered a lethal weapon, do you see me walking up to Bones Jones talking smack. Fighting someone who is disabled from fighting you is a coward move. Now if the disabled person comes out the victor (because he broke your taboo rule) you want to act like you aren't the aggressor to begin with? When Joseline hit Stevie J did anyone give a damn? How was that not Domestic Violence and that was CLEARLY on purpose. We all saw the clip we know what happened.
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cheekz money: "woman love the "you should never put your hands on a…" because is absolves them of all guilt and responsibility. A professional boxer hands are considered a lethal weapon, do you see me walking up to Bones Jones talking smack."
This. It's funny how belligerent women can remember "a man should never put his hands on a woman", but instead of thinking that also means, "don't provoke a man", they think it means, "I got a free pass to taunt this n!gga, throw sh!t at him, hit his a$$, and all he can do is sit there and take it!"
True that Hugh.
I agree with @Cyn with the DV vs a fight lost . Of course a man should never hit a woman, but some women need to learn how to let a man walk away when he is doing so and not try to fight him.
At the end of the day im not sure what exactly happened wheater it was an accident or straight up him trying to beat her but I’m not surprised to see her in this type of incident because of her past actions.
No she doesn’t deserve to be hit by a football player, but this is the same women who was treating her ex friends and then telling them that they were messed up for calling the law, then did what they did when she felt scared. I hope she can see where those other women were coming from when she was acting a fool.
As far as chad he married her knowing how she acted so he brought this situation on himself to a certain extent.
They both need help / therapy if they can’t use their words.
"In my opinion, no one within the confines of a relationship should ever put their hands (or head) on anyone – child, wife, or husband."
I totally co-sign your statement. However, would it be different what if I wanted to "put my paws on him?" I kid, I kid.
All I have to go by is her appearances on TV and she appears to be a provoker so to me, while Chad deserves more wrong for actually hitting her, she is in the wrong as well if she was provoking him. I wouldn't say 50-50 split but some blame.
Every Pro Evelyn comment on here and twitter is "She accused him of it, he is guilty." Chad gets no day in court, no chance to make his case, no chance to save his image or his job. NO matter the past or character of the person making the accusation as long as she has a vagina and you don't … she says you hit her you hit her. She says you hit her with your head the feminist will say you beat her down?
He is accused of throwing ONE Head butt, no way you can tell me its fair treatment what this man is getting WITHOUT A DAY IN COURT. These hairy armpit Dykces jump the broom, this isn't Chris Brown with multiple blows, this clearly could be a misunderstanding. The next door neighbor said "keep it on the low, this could be a misunderstanding." Now people's fantasy drafts are all our of wack because we knew Philbin was going to throw it all over the field. Chad has earned better, eff all those corny reality shows, I can't wait for hard knocks tonight to see how this plays out. At the end of the day, no matter what.. a professional athlete always deserves the benefit of the doubt over a h.oe until evidence is produced. They earned that right b/c of the target on their backs from these women.
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It's less "She accused him of it, he is guilty" and more, she ended up in the hospital bleeding and he caused it…for me at least…and let the record show I do shave regularly.
I sooo disagree. The question isn't whether or not their heads collided or who got the worse of the blow. I think that is sensationalism. The question is if Chad maliciously swung his head at this wh.ore.
What's next? We going to make men go to anger management classes for accidentally stepping on a woman's feet.
There are two sides to every story (some say three). I can't automatically assume Evelyn's story is the truth. The Dolphins jumped the gun with releasing him. I actually think Chad is a jerk and a dirtbag, however he is being treated unfairly because this is an allegation as of right now.
Interesting point/question on the Dolphin's prematurely releasing him. I can see why they did it, but at the same time…this is this man's career. Would hate for someone to just axe me without hesitation. I'm guessing they just didn't want that media circus around the franchise.
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I agree with you 100%, but Chad's antics have gone beyond this one incident and it's sad because his reputation precede him. People are able to predict the outcome of one's career based on the stupid things they do on a daily. He was a philanderer, and Ev was the only one blind to that. Anyone who has too many woman and a cocky attitude eventually will get caught. He got caught and reacted foolishly–that is his usual.
"but Chad's antics have gone beyond this one incident"
What did he do? Curse at a press conference? Get some unsportsmanlike penalties years ago? He got a reputation way worse than who he is as a person based on a conservative dated media in sports. If he were a rapper he would be Big Sean, not a goat, but entertaining and likable with production coming up short.
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Exactly Slim…"they didn't want the media circus associated with them." U know image is EVERYTHING. If I remember correctly NBA and NFL and all pro sports have pretty clear morality clauses. Regardless if they do or don't, it's usually understood that if u make the team and/or the franchise look bad in any way due to your actions they will not hesitate to can you.
I think "at will" law partially applies where they have the right to let u go for any reason they deem necessary.
From what I’ve seen on Basketball Wives, Ev have the same problem as her man—attitude and hand problem. She’s needs some anger control too. Unfortunately, he could not take the heat of being caught by evidence of a receipt. I hope many men learn from this, if Chad or any man loves a women he will not put his hands on her—bottom line. If you’re wrong take the heat, it’s my prediction that the most Ev would have done was fuss, cuss, cried and talked junk. Was Chad not man enough to take that?
Would I want Chad? A resounding NO! I have my theories about athletes, and none have proven this theory wrong to date.
I used to be a fan of Chad's until I realized he was an overrated WR and he changed his last name to Ochocinco. After that, he was forever branded as lame in my book. He seems lost and immature with tons of babies running around, supposedly 5 that he knows about. I'm sooo not about that life, and I can't fathom this being the first time Chad has put his hands on her, maybe headbutting with his gigantic dome was the straw that broke the camel's back.
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I think the question "Would you want Chad Johnson?" is referring to teams who are considering picking him up. You're jumping to conclusions that the media's been feeding and in my opinion, it's not fair. We know 3 things for certain: an altercation ensued that left Evelyn injured, Evelyn is violent, and Chad is now without a JOB! Chad's "rep" is nothing more than blowing through women, showing off and talking ish. Not the kind of guy I'd want, but it has no bearing on his ability to do his job…well. I've been a fan for his entire career and the man produces on the field (for the most part). Like Stephen A. said, I'm not absolving him because he certainly played this all wrong but he certainly doesn't deserve the toll this is taking on his career.
Most men in positions of power, especially athletes, have jobs that are affected by the personal decisions they make in life. However, if Chad was such a stellar athlete, I doubt he would have lost his job over this mess. The Dolphins were already only paying him the league minimum. If he's so good, why wouldn't he be making more? Because he SUCKS! That's why. TO is far more superior as far as athleticism but he's getting old, and if he couldn't get signed anywhere, Chad doesn't stand a chance in hell. You're obviously allowing your fandom to detract you from the fact that Johnson is not worth his salt. His stint with the Bengals was less than impressive.
Also, your spouse is a direct reflection of who you are as a person. If he was focusing on her character rather than other superficial things, he would have never put a ring on that. His bad, hope he learned his lesson.
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I'm willing to bet that the Dolphins cut him bacause they didn't want to deal with the negative attention that he's bringing the team. I agree that he's a fool for marrying her; by the same token isn't she equally responsible? The logic behind your argument suggests so, but your Ev fandom probably won't allow you to admit it. Not once have you acknowledged her violent patterns of behavior, yet you're willing to man-bash because he's an athlete. Smh. It makes no sense for this man to lose his job once you cosider a) her (likely) role in the incident and b) the man hasn't even had his day in court yet.
:-O I'm offended! Evelyn Fan!!? lol I have NEVER watched BBW and furthermore, would never be a fan of a classless individual such as Evelyn. I don't know what happened between them, but from reading about her on the show, I know she is violent. He knew that too.
I wasn't there, so I don't know what happened, but again, I think it was the totality of the circumstances that caused Chad to lose his job – the DV arrest, his gigantic ego, and his lack of ability as of late to back up his gigantic ego, falling short on the field.
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LMAO!! I was offended FOR you. I, for real, had to check out the stream of comments to be sure he could, in no way, be calling me an Evelyn fan! LMAO
Girl…how dare he?! lol
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We can agree to disagree. Btw…it's "she" lol.
Sorry lol, not sure why I assumed you were a he. How dare you??!
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Another sad story of taking your media whoring too far. You can be starved for attention (both parties involved) without screwing with the sanctity of marriage. I think the problem with these scripted "reality" shows is that the cast starts to believe their own lies. I mean seriously, neither one is marriage material. It was done merely for the financial/superficial gain.
Even if the chick provoked him, hit him, taunted him etc etc, 85 should've dumped her. If you have anger issues with no control of yourself, sure, you might headbut your wife after a "fight" who is 1/3 your size and strength. If you're a mature adult however, you would leave that chick alone. As a man and as someone with superior strength you have a responsibility to know not to touch a female. And if she's provoking you, that doesn't give you the right to treat her like a man "cuz she wanna hit like a man too;" get out of that situation.
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