Home Dating & Relationships Dating Hip Hop Is for Lovers: Reflections on Being Kanye West’s “Perfect B*tch”

Hip Hop Is for Lovers: Reflections on Being Kanye West’s “Perfect B*tch”

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kanye west and kim kardashian
Source: necolebitchie.com

By Patia Braithwaite

It started with a text message:

BFF: How would you feel if someone dedicated a song to you called, “Perfect Bitch.”

Me: [sarcasm] Honored and humbled. You?

BFF: Not so much. Apparently that’s the title of Kanye’s new song for Kim Kardashian…

FLASHBACK: The year was 2008, and I was 24 years old. I was living on my own in Harlem (albeit East Harlem) — the home of all the upwardly mobile black people I knew. I worked in midtown. I worked in television. I worked 20 hour days for less than minimum wage. I thought I was glamorous because I was poor, creative and in love.

Beyonce Knowles had just released I am…Sasha Fierce, and — every morning on my way to my lowly production job —  I became Sasha Fierce. I sat on the crowded 5 train and (silently) belted out the lyrics to Halo. I gave sold out concerts to the people in my head and dedicated each performance to my beloved.

“This is love,” I thought as I pulled off my ear buds and sat down at my desk each morning. At the time, I was dating an amazing man that irritated the hell out of me. I pretended not to be irritated. He was, after all, amazing. One day, in an uncharacteristic outburst of affection, I played Halo for him and professed my devotion:

“Everywhere I’m looking now/ I’m surrounded by your embrace/ Baby I can see your halo/You know you’re my saving grace”

In retrospect, that was far too intense, but I was 24 and prone to such outpourings. He was touched. A lone tear might have rolled down his cheek. He thanked me for seeing him that way and we made love had awkward 24 year old s*x.

See Also:  Why Are Black Men So Rude?

A few days later, he came over to my apartment. He was extremely excited.

“I found a song that reminds me of you.”

I expected some old school Marvin Gaye or at least Maxwell ( I would’ve settled for Usher…after all, I was listening to Beyonce).

 “Listen to this,” he said before playing the following:

She make me beg for it till she give it up/And I say the same thing every single time/ I say you the f**king best, you the f**king best/ You the f**king best, you the fu**ing best/ You the best I ever had, best I ever had/Best I ever had, best I ever had, I say you the f**king…/Know you got a roommate, call me when it’s no one there…..

I remember twitching in irritation. Drake? Yes, I know it was 2008 Drake; thus, my boo was a few seconds ahead of the curve. Yes, I know there are actually some endearing lines in that song, but seriously? I was annoyed.

“ I’m the f*cking best?” I asked, trying to hide my incredulous stare.

“You are,” he said. “I feel like this song was written for you.”

His eyes were full of admiration, and he had a dopey love-smirk on his face. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he needed to find another song. I was too in love to realize that a man who dedicated this song to me wasn’t as deeply in love with me as I was with him.

Why do I tell this story? Because like my ex, Kanye West is a douche bag. Any man who dedicates/writes a song to his girlfriend entitled “Perfect Bitch,” doesn’t really love her. It’s almost like saying, “You’re pretty for a dark-skinned girl.” If you have to qualify, it cheapens the compliment.  You’re perfect, b*tch;  Of all the b*tches I know, you’re the perfect one. Not okay…

For the next 45 minutes, our source says the 35-year-old rapper played a number of new tracks that sampled other music and included “a similar production style (to the one) he used on his wildly successful album with Jay-Z last summer, “Watch the Throne.”

But the standout track of the night, according to our insider at the club and a source close to the mercurial rapper, was a song that included the chorus “My perfect b*tch.” Our second source says the song is about his current and former girlfriend. “(He raps) verses about his search for the perfect woman and how he has now found the “perfect b*tch,’ ” says the insider, adding that there are a number of descriptions in the song that reflect the looks of the curvalicious Kardashian and Rose. “The crowd was on their feet,” says the first source. Our second source says the song, which West has tentatively titled “My Perfect B*tch” due to the repetitive chorus, uses the same melody from the 1937 composition “Carmina Burana,” a cantata by German composer Carl Orff.

Read more: Kanye Dubs Kim Kardashian His ‘Perfect B-tch’ On New Track | Necole Bitchie.com

Now in all fairness, I can’t find the lyrics to this song, but let’s reflect for a moment: Kanye wrote songs about Jesus and didn’t title them “That Ni**a Jesus.” He wrote a song about his mother and used the correct noun to describe her (RIP Donda West). And yes, I know, when it comes to describing his relationships, Mr. West isn’t always the most respectful (throw some D’s!), but someone needs to tell Kim Kardashian to be outraged. Someone needs to tell Kim a lot of things, but that’s another story all together. While we’re at it, someone needs to tell these 24 year old dudes to abandon the thought of dedicating that song, or any song that uses the terms “b*tch” “h*e” “sl*t” or alludes to your infidelity (ehem…Drake), to your lady. She’s your LADY! You are dooming your relationship, I promise.

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MOST importantly though, someone needs to tell all the little (and not so little) girls that will inevitably like this song that being someone’s “Perfect Bitch” literally conjures the image of a well-trained, well-groomed dog. There’s nothing endearing about that.

Ladies, what’s the worst song you’ve ever had a man dedicate to you? What’d you say? How did you react? Fellas, do you think there’s anything wrong dedicating a song to your woman that has profanity in it? Does it cheapen the sentiment?

Patia Braithwaite is a Brooklyn-based relationship writer. Her work has been featured in The Coral Gables Gazette, Florida Inside Out Magazine, Yahoo Shine, and BounceBack.com. She’s currently working on a non-fiction book that explores the various ways men see God and how these views impact their romantic relationships.  Check out her musings and more at: www.menmyselfandgod.com 

Comment(47)

  1. Well we are talking about Kim Kardashian here lol. She isn't outraged because she doesn't have the intelligence to know that describing you as the "perfect bitch" is offensive. Plus she basically does whatever Kanye (or anyone else who for that matter) tells her to do…on command.

    But Its 4:15 am and I should be asleep lol

    Guess im First!

    1. I m so sad, My girlfriend and me broke up a month ago. yeah..you know i'm young ,handsome,lonely and still hurting.i may be in need of someone to love..still..My friends told me about cougarkissing_ C0M and i got curious about it.. they met their girlfriends there.,It's the best place to meet a older girlfriend . i cant risk myself..So i got a usename(Qcdude) there in order to find a new girlfriend .Is it wrong?

  2. Well, I'm probably making myself sound like an idiot, but I actually wouldn't mind the term "perfect bitch" being applied to me. I'm very much an equal opportunity person, and since I allow my friends to call me "bitch" I see no reason why my potential dude shouldn't be able to do the same.

    Interestingly, I also had "Best I Ever Had" dedicated to me… I didn't mind that either. I literally preened.

  3. I mean to each it own. Like someone said up top Kim isn’t the brightest. our hip hop culture has embraced the word Bitch to flip it to a positive somewhat, I still feel like when a guy says it to me it not a term of endearment. I feel like he doesn’t see me as a woman or lady, more like a peace of property or like a plaything. Idk I’m sure the same guys who yelling ” that’s my bitch” wouldnt want no man his mother is romantically involved with to say ” that’s my bitch” to his mother.

    But that term isnt new in hip hop. I mean biggie had ” just me and my bitch” , country king ft grey songs ” baddest bitch” , and a few others I can’t think of right now. I just know if a guy is referring to me in that way, while he might try to make it look like a positive , he doesn’t respect me on a certain level. Lupe fiasco has a song ” bitch bad” that’s breaks down that whole mentality.

  4. Kanye West has already been a little out there. However, what I really wanna know is if it's okay to call my b*tch a "bag of money."

    Serious question.

    1. Lol no , I actually hate that song. Might as well call her a sack of potatoes if your going to call her bag of money ( both of them are lumpy round) . What ever happen to just sayin my lady looks good, sexy, beautiful, cute , ray of sunshine …. I know there some guy out here in these streets trying to holla at a girl using ” you lookin like a bag of money ” line.

  5. Smilez_920: "I actually hate that song. Might as well call her a sack of potatoes if your going to call her bag of money ( both of them are lumpy round) ."

    That was my first thought when hearing that song. A body like a Coke bottle or an hourglass makes perfect sense. Looking like a bag of money? Round, lumpy, rough exterior, with a dollar sign on it?

    1. I don't know, I guess I understand taking the literal context of the line and it not logically making sense, but it's hardly anything new. I mean, I'm pretty sure we all know what is meant when one's aesthetics is being referred to large amounts of currency.

      Honestly, using one of your senses and pairing it with a "money" metaphor is relatively common.
      e.g. "You smell like a million bucks" or "You look like a million bucks" or "I feel like a million bucks"

      I could say that a million bucks feels dry and crinkly, but we all know that isn't the intended definition of the phrase.

        1. Lol, hell of course it is! How else do you expect rappers to get radio spins and sell records? Use clever metaphors and "play on words" phrases that their main fan base would give a kanye shrug to? lmao.

        2. I guess I can't argue that.

          I dumbed down for my audience to double my dollars,
          They criticized me for it yet they all yell "HOLLA!"
          If skills sold, truth be told, I'd probably be,
          lyrically, Talib Kweli.
          Truthfully I wanna rhyme like Common Sense,
          But I did five mil' – I ain't been rhymin like Common since!

  6. Fellas, do you think there’s anything wrong dedicating a song to your woman that has profanity in it? Does it cheapen the sentiment?

    To paraphrase Chris Rock, it's wrong, but I understand. Remember, you are talking about a 24-year old man. Hip hop is his life. He honestly thought it was endearing. He almost certainly doesn't see you as a b!tch, but that is just the vernacular in hip hop. In other words, it's was the best he could do.

    But yes, you should be offended. He tried to share in your enthusiasm of dedicating a song, but clearly failed. My song for my current girl is LTD's Love Ballad, and the previous song I dedicated to a woman was Con Funk Shun's Straight From the Heart. But I wouldn't expect a man in his mid-twenties to know much about 70's R&B music.

  7. Baby you my aything you all i ever wanted…damn you guest poster for getting best i ever had in my head…

    Different strokes basically, when Jay was riding with his beautiful biiiiiiiiiitch in back of his lac, Bey was smiling in the video rocking his chain, yet shes the voice of the eff that ninja songs that are ironically are the ones that end up dedicated to me. best you never had deez. Ultimately, for every woman offended theres gonna be some basic chick thats gonna smile when a ninja plays the ringtone for her (anyone else smh at the thought of a dude holding an iphone over his head like a boombox outside some hoodrats window, or was that just me). All you can do is require more from your own boothangs if all Ye needed was 2 bars and now this song to seal the deal, power to him.

  8. I guess what they was going for was something desireable…women have already been likened to Jeeps & Jordans on Saturday so it was either money or sportscenter lol

    1. Jordans on Saturday is a STRONG sentiment. I appreciated that. The “b!tch” thing might be too far, but Jordans on Saturday speaks more towards the feeling of the moment, the experience, etc. Guys get up at 3 or 4 a.m. to go and get those. Imagine how he feels when he first walks into footlocker. And then finds em in his size. And then pays for and leaves with them. Ladies, that’s how we feel about you!!!!! You’re like Jordans on Saturday.

  9. i don't understand the outrage.

    women walk around calling themselves the baddest b*tch all the time. they call their girlfriends that. one of my fav Bey songs is Ego in which she says "i got every reason to feel like i'm that b*tch." i love Eve, who says it frequently. i've heard many educated, respectable women call themselves or their friends that in a way that is clearly not meant to be bad. do i call my friends that? no. but i don't use the word in general aside from when it's in the lyrics to a song.

    where was all this pushback when Jay said he was in the back of the lac with his beautiful b*tch like mentioned above. or when he said

    "Back to my Beyoncés, you deserve three stacks word to Andre
    Call Larry Gagosian
    You belong in museums, you belong in vintage clothes crushing the whole building
    You belong with niggas who used to be known for dope dealin’
    You too dope for any of those civilians
    Now shoo children, stop lookin’ at her t*ts
    Get your own dog, ya heard
    That’s my b**ch"

    …in a song with Kanye titled That's My B*tch…

    i feel like everyone needs to tend to their own relationship. to me, it's clear (at least publicly) that Kanye is in love. he's clearly not using b*tch as derogatory as some women are obviously taking it. i feel like as long as someone is in a healthy loving relationship, who am i to tell them what their dynamics should be?

    i also think every woman dating a man under 26 at that time had "you the f*ckin best" dedicated to her at least once. lol

    i'll just drop this link from the homie SBG who summed it up perfectly for me:

    1. some women clearly have desensitised themselves from being called bitch as have black men desensitised themselves from being called nigger… The African American's ability to at times turn the negative to thee adorned still marvels me (and Oprah) as someone from South Africa.

  10. Muze pretty much summed up my thoughts on this so I appreciate her saving me some key strokes.

    Specifically as far as the man playing, "Best I Ever Had" and the author taking offense to that…I mean, that's fine if you took offense, but I wouldn't think if the intention was pure and heartfelt, no matter what the song, that it means he respects you any less.

    I just find it interesting how many people will say, "Actions speak louder than words" and "Well, it's the thought that counts" will seemingly dismiss those sayings in situations like this.

    Welp, I guess moral of the story for the fellas: If you're gonna dedicate a song to your woman, be sure to play the radio edited version of it just to be safe.

  11. If he meant the song to be endearing and an ode to his woman. Then the song is meant to be endearing and an ode to his woman.

    Kim K. doesn't look to be complaining, so to each his/her own.

  12. This was a really nice read.

    I only cuss occasionally (when I'm mad, when comedic integrity keeps me from changing a quote, etc.). So the B-word is still a bad word to me…and my friends. Based on who I am and how I roll, NOBODY should refer to me as a 'B' in any way…and not expect me to flip out. Having said that, I find this song to be very offensive and annoying.

    For those who have no qualms with the B-word…using it to refer to themselves and each other, I assume this track is endearing and bump-worthy, lol. They can have it…

    1. I guess my thing is the whole reactionary aspect of it, or "flipping out". If someone says something you don't like then there' s nothing wrong with voicing your displeasure in mature converation via respectable tone. If they are any kind of man/woman then they'll nod and apologize and that will be that. But immediately just flipping out on a first time offender when it's not being used in a negative context…i don't know….

      1. Well, Brother Larry, quite frankly, I've never been in this position. I have NEVER been called a 'B'…to my face…in any context, lol. I hope thats because my character/personality/aura/presence, etc. demands a high-level of respect. I can only imagine that having this happen to me would cause me to, yes, flip out…cause I can only see this happening during a beef, not peace time. A beef is where its highly appropriate to flip out. Not to mention, there are phases to flipping out…the snapping of the neck, the raised eyebrow, the "excuse me, what did you just say" questions for clarity. I mean, you wanna make sure that you're not flipping out for nothing…and that the person fully understands that you "ain't the one" before you blackout, lol. Yes, I give a warning shot, so to speak…

        1. Also, I mentioned my friends in my first comment and I need to clarify. My day-to-day crew doesn't cuss unnecessarily. My bffs cuss like sailors, lol (we don't run in the same circles, interestingly enough). My bf cusses. But, since I don't roll like that, they temper their words accordingly when talking to me (tone it down, say 'excuse me' if they got a bit fired up…).

  13. My question is this: wtf does he know about a 1937 composition “Carmina Burana,” a cantata by German composer Carl Orff????? ijs.
    At any rate, nah never had a man dedicate no crazy sh** like that to me, and hope I never do. I dated a musician in my early 20’s that wrote his own music and wrote me a nice song.
    Honestly though this doesn’t surprise me at all. Jay-Z referred to B in one of his songs where he stated – “I got the baddest Bit** in the biz” or something like that. Can’t recall the name of the song, but know it had a video to it and she was in it but kinda blotted out a bit to keep the mystery I guess when they used to publicly deny their involvement. Of course in the “clean version” and on the video he said baddest chick, but on the raw album version it was baddest bit**. Trina refers to herself as the baddest bit** and so do many other female rappers. And lets not forget “99 problems but a bit** ain’t one.” And Jay-Z is Kanye’s mentor. I think it’s just the mentality of some of these rappers. In their mind pretty much all females are bit**** with the exception of their mama only because they came from her womb and may still have memories of her whuppin their azzes when they were young. Although I watched Gary Owen’s standup last nite and he basically called his mom a trailer trash hoe in many of his jokes. As he is telling these jokes he mentions that it’s no disrespect to his mom and he loves her, but the reality is she has 3 or 4 baby daddy’s and had him at like 15 yrs old and was a trailer park hoe. Again the mentality. Unfortunately I think it’s also due to people’s standards being at an all time low. My friend and I discussed this recently. Folks nowadays seem to let any and everything fly and it’s whatever and everything is cool and no big deal. There is no moral standard or code of ethics enforced in our society very much anymore. It’s become the way of the world. It’s not right and it’s a damn shame, but unfortunately it is. You can’t change folks minds, only them and God can do that.

  14. Im a walking contridiction (still, at my age) I tend to see the balance in things. Too much of anything is never good for me, same as not enough. In my younger years, being a bad b*tch was a compliment…today not so much. Simply because there are so many more things I AM or will BECOME. This was a great read. I can clearly rationalize it from both angles. It's music…so I dont seek a deeper understanding of any artists creativity. Outside of that (meaning creativity) I suppose my mentality just doesn't allow me to judge anothers morals or values when it comes to the usage. Personally, I wish a Ninja [Ninjette] would refer to me directy as a b*tch! Indirectly, whatever floats ya boat kiddo…what I DON'T know surely won't hurt me. What I most appreciated about the post was the correlation the writer made about Mr. Wests usage (excuse me, lack there of) towards his mother. Granted his mother is not just any woman, but if he wouldn't reference her in this manner why is it okay to reference "any" woman this way. I guess this too surfaces as a thin line between love and hate…at least for me it does. The comments section is always Awesome!!!

    1. "but if he wouldn't reference her in this manner why is it okay to reference "any" woman this way."

      Obviously, I am not speaking for all men as I can only speak for self and my opinion, but when men speak of the different women in their lives they generally compartmentalize women they have a romantic interest in and then the women that they love, but not romantically (i.e. a family member). Therefore one uses different verbiage when speaking with the two separate types from time to time. There are some things you would speak to a significant other about that you would never talk about with your mother, generally.

      Hence, when a man like Kanye calls his S/O the "perfect b!tch" or what have you he is speaking in a romantic context. He wouldn't speak of his mother in such a context. Personally, EYE don't use that word in referring to a woman of interest in my life or when referring to any of my family members, but that's just me, though.

      1. Oh Mr. Larry! I loooooooove it. I said that in rhetoric, but I do appreciate your reply. I guess what I failed to type was I bet it would be a problem for yeezy if some man referred to his mother in this manner (I know its not what I wrote, but its definitely what I was thinking) I only assume it would be a whole other ball game for Donda West to be referred to as someones bad b*tch. We could ALL go in circles about theory, but in practice it most often doesnt equate to whats good for the goose…yadda yadda yah!

  15. I thought it was sweet for him to dedicate a song to her, but the sting of the word B***** to describe her takes away from all that sweetness. I would be offended, but then again, I'm not Kim K. I think guys treat you according to how they view you. Kanye knew she wouldn't be offended by the term being used to describe her as long as "perfect" was in front of it. My guy would know better than to ever use that word in reference to me because I rarely even curse, and I'm just not like that.

    My ex would say he thought of me when he heard Drake's You're the Best, but I think that's different. The song contained profanity, but it wasn't referring to the girl in a disrespectful manner or calling her out of her name (b****).

    Beyonce should be ashamed of herself, letting her husband of all people refer to her as a bitch seeing as how she is successful if not more than him in her career as an artist. Would he refer to icons such as Lena Horne or Chaka Khan as a b****? I highly doubt it.

    I think it's disrespectful. It will always be, no matter how much time passes or how many chicks refer to themselves as such.
    My recent post Embarrassment Parenting is the New Time Out

  16. My first bf played me R. Kelly & Biggie's "I'm F***in' You Tonight", and I thought it was funny as heck. I mean, it was a joke, but not really, lol.

    On the more romantic side, I've had some Maroon 5 and John Mayer dedicated to me. I appreciated that. But I had a whole PLAYLIST on iTunes of hyper-sexual somewhat degrading "grind" songs, that I'd collected over the years. I know Luda's "Fantasy" is problematic from a feminist POV, but I still love the raunchy stuff. That's my guilty pleasure.

  17. I'm pretty sure I would laugh if someone spoke to me this way. I have an appreciation for wit and those who are clever; I have a sense of humour so as long as it was creative, or really, just in general, I would likely just laugh. I watched 'Keeping Up With the Kardashians' on Netflix over the weekend. There's this one episode where her Stepfather is like super shook of his wife about getting his ATM card back and he goes, 'BITCH. I want my d*mn ATM card' and his daughter goes 'Yeah, bitch!' and it was the cutest, most funniest thing I've ever seen in my life and Kim laughed her ass off (as did I). It was so funny and she was so like, pleasantly appalled. It wouldn't bother me too much, mainly because I would be with someone loving and who I knew treated me well. but lol @ asking for male bloopers. I'm drawing a blank on that one.

  18. Eh. I generally don’t care what other people are doing in their relationships. If it works for them I wish them the best – that’s for Kim K and Kanye (and everyone that isn’t me and mine). Now specific to the B-word, much like the N-word, I find it hilariously hypocritical when it is or is not “ok” to use the word. Both words are about as synonymous as the word “bro” or “dude” at this point so a huge Summer of We’re Taking It Back Campain withstanding, I don’t see anyone reclaiming either word. That ship done sailed. I do, however, think its dumb for women (or black people) to use a term they deem “offensive” in an endearing manner in mixed company then getting offended when members of that mixed company go on to use that word themselves. So i hope all women who are offense by the b-word are not the same women calling themselves and their homegirls b-words day in and day out….that’s stupid. Practice what you preach, bro.

    I don’t call my Queens the B-word unless its some part of kinky and prior approved foreplay. But this neither here nor there.

  19. I say to each his (or her in this case) own. I personally take offense to being called a b*tch regardless of how endearing it's intended to be, or who says it. On the other hand, plenty of women take it as a a compliment. If Kim likes it, I love it.

  20. Thank you! I remember watching chicks who were worshipping that song, thinking, “Do they hear the ‘other hoes ain’t never on it’ or ‘a lot of girls think my songs are about them.’ You might as well dedicate ‘Tell Em What They Wanna Hear’ with TI & Young Dro. Kim has been a puppet for Ye thus far. So if he farts on a track and dedicates it to her, she will support it.

  21. His respect of her is just a reflection of how much she respects herself.

    If she treats herself like a bitch, is he wrong to call her one?

    Like say you're friend is a loud, ignorant and embarrassing maroon, are you wrong to call him an unintelligent negro?

    People tend to gear insults and compliments based off how people act and treat themselves and others.

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