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Why He Married the Regular Girl


One of the more popular… Let me start over. One of the most read, which doesn’t necessarily make it popular, posts on my personal site before I shut it down was a post called, Why He Married the Regular Girl. It was also featured on TheFreshXpress before they shut down. Since SBM is still going strong, I thought I’d re-post this content for old and new readers. If you’re new, hope you enjoy. If you’ve read it before, I hope you’ll share if your thoughts have changed. I started to edit the post to reflect my more up-to-date views, but I didn’t think that’d be fair. I’ll use the comment section to reflect those.


– WisdomIsMisery


Why He Married the Regular Girl

Unattractive friend gets married before me? Confused, I am.

Originally Published: April 2011

Women are more superficial than men. The fairer sex will try to convince you otherwise but they’re lying. Know why? Women judge men and women. They might even judge women harsher than they do men.

Have you ever had a discussion with a woman who sees another perfectly regular (or ugly) married woman, a regular woman who is about to get married or even a regular woman in what appears to be a happy relationship? What’s the first comment they make? They don’t say, “I’m sure she has a wonderful personality.” No, they wonder, “Why is he with that regular/ugly girl?!”

As a side note, I used the term “regular” on Twitter and some got offended. Honestly, I don’t know why. Look, not everyone is top tier beautiful. This is a fact. For clarification, when I’m talking about “regular” I am specifically talking about looks. On a 1 – 10 scale, a woman on the cusp of 5 – 6. Someone has to be a 1 – 5 just like someone has to be a 6 – 10.

Pertaining to this blog, I could care less about personality or any other attribute that may contribute or take away from a woman being a diserable mate. Looks and looks only. Besides, looks are all you have to go on when you judge that woman from across the street /office / Twitter/ Facebook, so there’s no need to act like you’re un-shallow simply to prove me wrong.

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I’ve noticed two main questions crop up from women: Why does a man that has everything going for himself settle down with a regular woman in the first place and in doing so, will he remain faithful?

First question…

Why is he with the regular girl?

The most obvious reason is that he gave up pursuing beautiful women. Men are simple. I often compare them to water. Sure, their direction can be molded but 9 times out of 10, they simply pursue the path of least resistance. Obviously, going for women below your league or even in your league is easier than going for women out of your league. However, I don’t think this is the main reason.

There are two other related factors. Both are stereotypes and I’m not shying away from that fact. Many stereotypes have legitimate origins but you can believe what you want.

1) In my opinion, a lot of pretty women have issues. As far as men are concerned, all women have issues but pretty women have more. I don’t know why but it could be as simple as because people allow them to. Most men know or will eventually learn that if you deal with enough pretty women, you’re going to have to put up with some extra sh*t. More sh*t than you would with your average regular woman. For example – and I’m still stereotyping here – pretty women tend to have less developed personalities, consistently rank higher on the crazy scale, expect more for less in generally every aspect of life, and perhaps the most obvious, because they are pretty, sometimes rely heavily on their looks to get what they want – and are shocked if/when this tactic fails.

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I’m not saying awesome pretty women don’t exist. They do. I will, however, argue that you will find far more regular women typically exceed pretty woman in all categories but looks. In my opinion, the race isn’t even close.

In the interest of accounting for my bias, I will concede this may be based on the relative population of the two. Men know women are not equally distributed in looks across a scale of 1 – 10 but EVEN IT THEY WERE, while beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, even a 5th grader is smart enough to tell you that simple math dictates there would be less 10s available in the population than 1 – 9s combined. Therefore, odds are there are less extremely attractive women (10s) than regular women (1 – 6s) to choose from.

2) I believe – and @DrJayJack, for one, disagrees – men become less superficial with age. Older men are also less willing to put up with as much random crap from a pretty woman simply because she is pretty. I guess it’s not that men’s preferences change, it’s that we realize there is more to sustaining our happiness than a woman’s looks alone. If I had to assign a time frame for the average man I’d say it’s post age 25. Not coincidentally, this is when most men seriously consider getting married (according to Newsweek, the national average is 27).

Around this age men finally begin to weigh pros and cons with greater accuracy: Do you want to put up with the FINE woman with the personality of a rock, who sucks in bed without sucking in bed and doesn’t provide you with much overall satisfaction beyond her looks – for the rest of your life? Or do you stop putting so much emphasis on looks and find a woman you genuinely like for reasons extending beyond her superficial attributes?

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For many men it is a truly shocking experience to enjoy spending time with a woman when sex is not the first or only thing on his mind. It takes even longer for (most) men to accept such satisfaction may not be wrapped in the body of a 10.

Next question…

Will a man remain faithful to a regular woman?

I spent the majority of this post focusing on the former question because it makes answering this question simple. Look, if a man wants to cheat he is going to cheat. If a man wants to be faithful, he will be faithful. You can be pretty, ugly or anywhere in between and these facts remain the same.

Even if a man is with a woman you/I/we perceive as ugly, it is very possible he is perfectly happy with her, and she may very well satisfy him in ways a “pretty” woman never could as far as he is concerned. Additionally, beauty is highly subjective – but that’s another discussion.

My point is that happy – and more importantly, satisfied – men don’t need/want to cheat.

Did you enjoy the perspective offered in this article? Check out our homepage for more candidate content from the SBM team. 

Fellas, keep me honest. Are the points above accurate? Why do men spend years dating/ pursuing/ talking about the model prototypes they are allegedly going to marry, then turn around and settle down with the regular / cute / basic girl? Why do men who are perfectly capable of getting with “model types” suddenly leave those types alone when pursuing a wife? Can men remain faithful to regular women?

Ladies, you asked a lot of questions when I brought this topic up. I think I addressed most but let me know if I missed anything. For my own curiosity, do you find being labeled a “regular” woman offensive?


  1. Older men are also less willing to put up with as much random crap from a pretty woman simply because she is pretty. I guess it’s not that men’s preferences change, it’s that we realize there is more to sustaining our happiness than a woman’s looks alone.

    it takes a lot of maturity on a man’s part to strip himself of his bias to very beautiful women and think in terms of what really, truly sustains his happiness. There’s always going to be a certain percentage of men who will continue to hold out on themselves in the hope that they’d be able to marry a 9-10er regardless of her very obvious flawed personality.

    I think y’all at SBM should create a school.


    1. Sitting here digesting this POST! Here i am a grown ass man and this post resonates with me because i was one of those GUYs that use to really date some Bad Chicks you described as TEN’s! Yeap in my 20’s and 30’s are a blur of Pretty women! OMG i should be a trained clinical psychologist by now Based on the emotional, insecure, jealousy just plain all out unbalanced situations i have encountered coming up. Let’s see if experience translateed into Wisdom I am a very WISE man. In your post you say men get tired of the BS (YEAP!) and catering to a 10’s whims for not much in return combined with the (Self Centered!) personality.. Yeap it got old and dumb somethings you cant wait for and one of them is to expect HER to just GET IT CLUE!! or feell as though your going to be the guy she understand and relates to better NOPE! In my experience some how no matter how it ends its still the guy fault because we did kiss ass anymore part of the Diagnosed “My Sh*t Don’t Stank Syndrome!”…. Ok But you know what i mean? and i have found that women that didn’t have to depend on the CUTE, FINE factor have Outstanding personalities great sense of humor and most of the time a more Human disposition which translates into a KAT falling for them instead of that SUPA BAD Model Type! …. Like the Blog Keep up the Good Work!

  2. I always felt that the goal was to marry the "regular" girl, who, in my eyes, would be anything BUT regular.

    I'm at the age where all the "fineness" in the world won't mean a damn thing if she doesn't love, support, or care for me. Give me a 6, who would love me forever, over a 10 who'd leave me for the next best thing, anyday…

  3. Personally, I’d much rather be half of a cute couple than people looking at me wondering, how in the hayle he pull that. Guys who pursue the “10s or better” are ultimately doing it for everyone else, like the people who discarded their more effective jailbroken iphone 4s, for the new iphone 5 even though the first versions of every phone are always full of glitches #shots. In that regard, i think men will seldom stray from the regular chick for the badder one because whats the point of smanging a Beyonce type if you can’t really tell anyone you did? More likely than not, when a man cheats on his woman its usually worse because HE likes being her 10.

  4. Thank God yall are back up and running. That reconstruction phase or whatever was goin on was killing me. I was like damn now that I have time to be on here the sh**'s not working….I be damned.
    At any rate, glad yall are back…*smile*
    To address the post, these types of questions are annoying to me. The "why do men cheat," "why did he marry the regular plain jane chick," "why did he not call," "why did he date me for 6 months act like everything was gravy and up and leave" questions.
    My question is how can people generalize each others actions so much. I'm sure if you asked a group of 50 men who went through various types of relationships and were married to regular women they would have a variety of different reasons and answers.

    1. "Thank God yall are back up and running. That reconstruction phase or whatever was goin on was killing me."
      OKAY…thought I was the only one! lol

  5. Some men marry the women who do the most for them and who they feel love them the most and who they fall in love with for more than just looks. I think some men marry women who will continue to allow them to be "single husbands" and who they know will never question them about anything and will never leave. Some men marry women for money and status. Some men marry the woman who impressed him and challenged him the most. Some men marry the woman who was different from all the other women he dated for that very reason. Some men marry the woman they love and respect the most and feel would make a great future mother of their children and make them proud. Some men choose the woman who helped them "reach their level." There are a wide variety of reasons why men choose to marry the women they marry, you can't go off of what some guys say, even if it's the same thing. Even in trying to make a summation of the majority, you still don't consider the reasons of all the other men. Some men can't tell you why they love and fell in love with the woman they are with, they just know how they feel, but can't really explain why. They may not understand fully why.

  6. Do you find being labeled a “regular” woman offensive?

    Trust and believe, we know when we aren't a societal "10", lol. I think it depends on how its said and when its used. In the context of this post, its not offensive at all. But, a woman wants to feel she's desired by and beautiful to her man…not necessarily the world. For as long as I'm beautiful to my man, whatever. Beauty encompasses way more than looks, imo.

  7. For example, I think the president married his wife because he had the utmost admiration and respect for her. She taught him things. She mentored him and challenged him to think more and be more. I don't think he could achieved being President or even would've had the desire to try if he were married to a different woman who was nothing like her. I believe she has been the driving force behind helping him to believe that he can do all he sets out to do. She believed in him probably even when he didn't believe in himself.
    In his autobiography on his site, Paul Brunson says he married his wife because she and her family supported his dreams and stuck by him. She was with him supporting him the entire time he was in college. He said at one point he had to stay with her family and they helped him out a lot. When he was broke with nothing she probably lent him money and was truly "ride or die" for him.

  8. When he thought about a wife she was the first person that came to his mind. He said if any woman in his life deserved a ring from him it was her, because she was the one who was there from the beginning with him and the one woman he knew he could trust completely.

  9. Some men marry a woman because she gets pregnant and they don't want to have a bastard child and they want to do right by their child and raise the child in a good and wholesome family environment. They want to be an integral part of their kids lives and so they know the way to do that is to marry the mother.
    Some men are pressured by the womans family to marry her. This was the case with my dad when my mom got pregnant with me. He was a good man with a good heart and wanted to do the what he thought and was told was the "right thing." Thats why he married my mom.
    I know men who married women who were azzholes to them and used and abused them and straight took advantage of them. A few of them said in the beginning the women were all good and they were bamboozled. Some they married because she got pregnant and pressured them. Some they married because they felt sorry for and fell for the "damsel in distress" game.
    Point is there are a variety of reasons why men choose and marry the women that they do. I just don't think there is one black and white answer to any question like this.

  10. I've discovered that many men say they want a pretty woman but emotionally they can't handle her. Every and any latent insecurities they may have come boiling to the surface regardless of how loyal, nurturing, intelligent, funny, and reassuring that pretty woman is. And that my friend…SUCKS. And the result is them going for the "average" girl. Not saying anything at all is wrong with the average woman, we are all deserving of love, but they'd rather sacrifice a good thing with the pretty woman than focus on resolving their insecurities. Less painful for them.

  11. Gotta agree with alot of the commenst stated above. Looks are cool, but a “down-A** chick” that can treat me like a king is all a brother wants. Now I would be lying if I said I didn’t want a girl that I am atleast attracted to, but pretty chicks with nothing else to offer is a no bueno in my book. Give me a cutie with a good personality and I am good.

  12. I guess I don't understand why you've chosen this definition for "regular". I've always heard it used in the sense of being down to earth and personable; with no reference to her physical attractiveness. I understand the argument, it just doesn't make sense to me that you can't find a "regular" girl who's also very attractive. *shrug*

  13. Regular chicks rock.

    I’ve always said most dudes aren’t chasing the baddest of the bad…if they’re looking for a committed and monogamous relationship. There are plenty of other things on the list that supersede looks. However, if there’s no physical attraction, there’s no relationship. It’s easy to be attracted to a 5 or 6 that makes your life better and makes you wanna be better than a 9 or 10 who makes you wanna run head first into the wall but generates compliments from others when she’s on your arm.

    I wouldn’t suggest any man tell his chick “Baby, you’re a fine 5.” You’ll go to sleep with dry nuts. You don’t want that.
    My recent post I Refuse to Live the Internet Life: So What’s The Real Slim Jackson Anyway?

  14. no I don't find it offensive at all. imo we're all just regular people, we're all human. We are all talented at something and have some gift to share with the world, whether we realize it and use it or not.
    I had a girlfriend who was a Sade lookalike and could sing and got paid to sing at places because she looked like her and could sing her songs. The only difference between my friend and Sade was fame, notoriety and money. But to me all those things don't necessarily make a person extra special. If your famous ur famous because your funny, you look good, you can sing, dance or whatever and your known and you have a charisma that the general public is drawn too. But there are folks who never become famous who have the same thing.
    So a person being regular is relative to how an individual defines "regular."
    So to me

  15. A really good male friend of mine told me that initially when we met, he thought of asking me to date. However, he did not because he felt I was "too pretty" and that he would have to always watch his back for other guys. He also bought into the stereotype of pretty women being "too much trouble." We have known each other for years, and is well aware that I don't fit that stereotype. He ended up marrying a beauty, one my friends who is beautiful inside and out. Never judge a book by its cover. 😉

    1. Wait, what??? o__O

      So when he finally realized that pretty girls "YOU" weren't a handful he decides to marry your friend another pretty girl instead? Alrightyyy Then..

  16. Fine post. I only wish you'd put the word "pretty", "regular" and "ugly" in quotes more consistently. Even speaking on a purely physical level – what these words mean in reality is pretty (lol) subjective.
    My recent post Why Women Want

    1. I see what you’re saying but in theory, all descriptions should then be in quotes. Including when we’re addressing “men” and “women” considering no descriptive will ever truly be all inclusive. Ninety percent of discussions are arguably subjective, even when we’re interpreting what we perceive as “facts.” Instead, my general rule of thumbs is, “if it doesn’t apply, then it doesn’t apply.”

  17. This post had some great pointers but I must say…… Men rate women with numbers- *1-6 and 6-10 already puts women in a box. Just because the lady or man is not your type doesn't mean they are ugly. Separate opinion from fact- because a man might say one lady is a 3 but another man will rate her as a 7. neither are wrong. Men believe that a beautiful lady has more insecurities and i cant say that's wrong- however most women critique themselves because of men. We want to have everything about us just right because men seem to gawk over those pics of women that seem to have everything right. We want a perfect pic and sometimes we dont go about it in the best way possible. In the end how does a man (engaged, married or courting) say he got a lady who is a 6- when in the end she should be a 10 because of all her attributes.

  18. Lurker here. 🙂

    I’m not sure if some women balk at the site of seeing “normal” women with guys so much to be all-out mean. I can only speak for myself, but it’s just confusing sometimes because we’re bombarded with the message that prime looks are necessary for a man’s attention. For example take the recent phenomenon of women dying as a result of caulk butt jobs. They’re responsible for their own lives, of course, but they’re not doing it to simply fill a lazy afternoon.

    The last time I reeeally wondered about this very topic was after seeing who Jesse Williams from Grey’s Anatomy married. I don’t think she’s ugly and genuinely wish them the best, but I’d be lying if I said my first reaction wasn’t, “Huh..?!” lol.

    To answer your question, being called “normal” isn’t offensive per se…within a post like this it’s fine. It’s important for us to remember black women in particular aren’t exactly protrayed as the cream of the crop as far as media is concerned, which may explain some of the backlash. I remember an incident in college in which someone dictated how life was for me as a black woman (she was white). I calmly picked up my slice of cheese pizza and walked away, lol, but she’s not the only one brainwashed.

  19. I can’t really agree all the way with this post – I actually disagree with most of it. At the end of the day a man falls in love with the way you make him feel and not every average girl has the personality/ character to compensate for her lack of looks. I would say the playing field is more even that you give pretty girls credit for and not every girl who falls in the 6-10 category is some gold digging idiot. I know plenty of girls who are 8-10 (myself unbiasedly included) who have something to bring to the table other than a pretty face and would make a far better wife than your “average” girl. I think this could be a great discussion topic about how much looks matter to a man and how he weighs looks vs personality when it comes to finding the right woman, but there’s far too much vagueness, subjectivity and dare I say bitterness in this post.

    1. I agree with everything but your last sentence lol “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” therefore to have an objective debate on a subjective subject is, in my opinion, futile. That is why everything you said in your comment could possibly be as true as everything I said in the post, because both are equally subjective arguments based on our opinions, not facts. In theory, every woman has the potential to be a great mate irrespective of the superficial but to suggest the superficial is inconsequential in how men and women interact is, again in my opinion, disingenuous.

  20.  I spent most of my 20s with one person. I had my mans back, cooked, cleaned, worked full time, paid most of the bills, stimulated his brains physically and mentally ;)… only to watch him marry another woman who was undoubtedly more beautiful. Yet she didn't work or have any direction in life, never set foot inside a kitchen and cursed like a sailor and  spoke Ebonics as her primary language        (something he later confessed to me) and she wasn't faithful. But he had a fine woman to show off and i guess at the time thats all that mattered.  So I say this because sometimes having a regular girl is great and sometimes a man just wants a trophy. It all depends on where he is in life. 
    I consider myself to be average, yet I've been called beautiful. I guess it just depends on who's looking. 
    But what I took from that relationship was that it's best to be with someone who truly appreciates you for who you are right now.  I used to try to live up to certain beauty standards and I had low self esteem because I thought I didn't possess the physical attributes that would be pleasing to a man. But then when I accepted that I was never gonna be light skinned with good hair with a perfect 10s body, I started to appreciate what God gave me. Now I don't go out of my way to look good for a man. I instead do what pleases me. Which is a more natural, relaxer and make up free version of my former self. That in turn gives me confidence, which I think can be far more attractive. Now i get hit on just as often if not more than before. I don't want and wont date a man who "settles " for me or makes an exception to his rule just because he couldn't get the girl he really wanted. That will lead to cheating. I'd rather be with someone who has dated a variety of women and has decided that out if everyone he's been involved with he chose me because he adores and loves me for me. 

    1. good point depends what kind of guy it is, but I think they all kind of fall back on the trophy if they haven't found anyone by like 35 or 40.

      I know someone else with a similar story, but the guy left for a lawyer, she was a waitress, sometimes its status and financial support with men too.

  21. I think the strongest point here really is that beauty is subjective. I would like to talk to this guy who married this so called "regular" woman and ask him if HE thinks she's regular. Because I doubt it. He's attracted to her. SO if he thinks she's attractive and when he looks at her he sees 6-10, on top of the fact that she may have more personality than the gorgeous girl, then I'm sure he thinks he's winning. So maybe the real question is who defines "regular"? Bitter pretty women? I think it all boils down to your first point that women are indeed more superficial than men.
    My recent post What “Good Guys” Need to Know About Women & Sex

  22. This information resonates with me on every level. I have been saying what you have summarized for years. I find this completely accurate and very real; on a level where ladies have to be in touch with themselves, without becoming deffensive, to appreciate the truth here. Good job.

  23. I'm not offended by the "regular" label, because I am. I feel some type of way when people make it seem like a bad thing though. I don't walk around lookin' a hot mess (at least I hope not lol), but I do look my wage. Same will apply when I get a career.

  24. I think that beauty is from within, and a man will find beauty in a woman as he discovers who she really is. I, personally, know that I am beautiful on the inside and out because I was raised right, have a good head on my shoulders and am God fearing. My looks are just a bonus. I think this is incredibly subjective, superficial and unfair to "10s". Not saying I'm offended, but this just sounds bitter.

  25. Man everything about this article is what me and the fellas be talking about on a DAILY basis man. All the brothas in my click are 30 and have said the things you said, almost word for word, many times. You hit the nail on the head with this one:

    "I believe men become less superficial with age. Older men are also less willing to put up with as much random crap from a pretty woman simply because she is pretty. I guess it’s not that men’s preferences change, it’s that we realize there is more to sustaining our happiness than a woman’s looks alone."

    That's it right there. That's why I'm not even attracted to extremely pretty women in that way anymore. When I dated "pretty" the relationships were the MOST amount of work EVER. And keeping her interest is a full time job.

    Then I started dealing with average women and, dog, it's amazing how much personality they have. A lot of them are polished because, unlike the woman with extraodrinary looks, all they feel they have IS their personality so they perfect it while that pretty woman thinks "all I gotta do is walk down the street."

    It's night and day. Great write dude, keep this going.

  26. Well written, I agree with everything u said and I would like to add a simple example that could describe why men prefer regular girls, putting it like this, pretty women are like exotic expensive cars, such as Ferraris and lamborginis, their pretty, fast and fun but maintaince is high, milage is horrible and its spare parts, insurance covers are reduclace not to men these cars are very impractical and not always comftable,

    On the other hand average look girls are like sedans and suvs, comes in all shapes and sizes, reasonably priced, mostly comfy and easy, cheap to maintain, not to mention they always deliver when needed.
    So yeah that’s about as simple as u can put it, personally speaking this is always the case.
    I was in a relationship with a pretty girl who is so cute but I ended it ( yes it was me and she still wants me back) cuz of high maintance, her friendzoners, thinking she knows what’s right. Etc
    While on the other hand, committing to a girl less than ur league is more convenient and u can become rest assured ur the best she can do and so she would never be attracted to anyone else not to mention no one would hit on her in the first place, and usually average looking girls tend to compensate with their skills in the kitchen and wonderful personality. Like I know a girl who I know would be on the scale of 4 in terms of beauty and 9 on the scale of personality, which makes her instantly attractive the moment u speak with her and a very pleasing and fun to be with. So yeah for me I have made it a rule not to marry a pretty girl unless she’s pretty only for me and everyone else thinks she’s average.

  27. Just my opinion but sometimes guys end up with the regular girl not because of lack of personality from the pretty girl or having to put up with "random crap" a pretty girl throws but the over all drama that comes with dating someone whose attractive can be overwhelming. My experience, and no I'm not Beyonce, is that men want to be the kings, they want attention and be #1 so to speak. When your with a pretty woman your not #1 your #2 and the world will always remind him of that. He's a shadow to his partner and most men don't like that or can only tolerate it for a short time.

    Additionally being with an attractive woman highlights every negative quality, insecurity, trust issue and jealousy a man possesses and this usually comes out early in dating. I don't think I've ever had a relationship with a guy who wasn't jealous and/or possessive and had serious trust issues due to the fact that there were men always lurking and looking. Some work it out and others just can't deal with it. I understand as I don't think I'd like knowing that women were hitting on the guy I loved all the time even at the grocery store or gas station. Knowing I was just one of many options on the table. It puts a huge strain on the relationship and the guy/girl.

    Finally I don't think as a couple your ever invisible if your dating someone whose extremely attractive. Your never the ordinary couple that no one notices and you go about your happy merry way. People ALWAYS mess with your relationship. Family and friends interfere (which can happen anyway regardless of looks) but strangers will mess with your relationship. Men will try to steal you away, other women will place judgement and do things good or bad. I've even had a woman whom I didn't know come up to me and the guy I was dating when we were in club and say flat to my face with my partner hearing every word "your way to beautiful to be with him. Your way out of this league. Let me find you a hot guy to hook up with". WTF? Of course this made him feel like a piece of sh!t to which he ended the relationship shortly thereafter. People make harsh judgments about why your with him "oh he must have money", "he must have a big D" or "she's just using him or he's using her". To the outside world (family, friends, strangers) it seems next to impossible to have a relationship based on love not lust, money or sex. And trust me they're not afraid to openly make these comments or even worse they talk behind your back within your circle of family or friends to which you end up finding out anyway. Even the men themselves (your partners, dates) will question why your with them. They'll start to feel insecure saying crap like "oh your to good for me" and I'm sure in the back of their minds their wondering if they can keep you. Will they be good enough? Have enough money? Give you good enough sex? Be able to keep you from exploring your other daily options. For a man in the long run that's a heavy weight to carry.

    So in the end I get why guys go for the average girl because with the average girl it's easy. Less drama, less of the world looking at your relationship under a microscope, men can be kings #1, the woman is your shadow not the other way around and the relationship can actually develop instead of spending time dealing with jealousy, trust issues and drama when you should be spending time getting to know each other. Most men say they can handle these things, sounds good in theory dating an attractive woman, benefits short term can be good but the reality is that long term the vast majority will not be able to sustain this kind of lifestyle, at which point they keep it real with themselves and find a girl whose "average" that they can deal with, be happy with and have an actual relationship with.

  28. I am a mid 20 something college educated beautiful woman. Im not concieded it is just fact. I turn heads and make men blush. Its not my fault i was born attractive, and to be honest I dont care. I never wanted to capitalize on my appearance, i did not become a model, im a social woker. This is my.problem, i.seem to.always get dumped for the stupidest
    reasons. One man, in search.of
    his goddess wife (not
    that.attractive btw, i was
    focusing on HIS insides not
    looks) had the nerve to say
    “your not really my.type” I was blown away that.someone could say that to.another person. It was rude. He could have just ignored me away. My point is, ive found that i get WAYYY .more crap from men just because im attractive, just.because they.assume.all
    these things you guys .are
    talking about. People assume
    pretty.girls are money.hungry,
    dumb, a rock., crazy.etc and that they can just treat us like crap. I think men see me and.think “dam shes hot, but.shes.probably…(fill in the blank)”.and then they shoot me down without even getting to know me. Its been.SO PAINFUL and heart breaking for me to have to date some of these guys. I honestly think it was them projecting there own insecurities. One man on our second date said to me.”you think.so high of your self.dont you”.after i.got done talking t
    o him about my frustrations with

    working as social worker and my thoughts on completing graduate school. I cried for months.when i thought about that.comment. We dated briefly but this man found.EVERY.opportunity to pick at me. He is now married to an “average girl” who.works retail at a mall.

    Its a crazy world in the dating world. More so with jerks who generalize and stereotype or judge people based on their beauty or lack there of. Or in my case sometimes the wrong.kind of beauty. What i want is a good man with honor and integrity. Im going to give my future man the world. Lord knows ive dealt with enough, im ready to settle.


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