This week I was asked to provide my biggest first date turnoffs for BadOnLineDates.com‘s The Male POV. An excerpt from the post:
Let’s face it, the first date is the most complicated of all the dates. Even the date before deciding when you’re going to have relations is less complicated than the first date! The first date is the gateway drug to all future dates. At least on the relations date you know it will (hopefully) have a happy ending. Of course, by “you know” I mean the women readers know, since men never know when they’re going to get laid. We just hope, pray and put it in God’s hands.
With all the complications surrounding the first date, you’d think it would be almost impossible to turn someone off in the mere few hours it takes to do whatever mundanely original task you came up with to do together. Unfortunately, as many of us have learned over the years, some people are hell bent on turning us off no matter how short a period of time they occupy in our lives. This feat is all the more impressive for a woman considering the fact that as a man the bar for turning me off is literally superman leaps high but some have still managed to leap tall buildings built of turnoffs in a single bound. A few notable scenarios include the following…
You fail to volunteer critical information! Despite all your independent, feministic, equal rights rhetoric you still want a man to decide what you’re going to do on the first date and then pay for said date. Trust me, I don’t get it either gentlemen but it is what it is. If we offer you 10 choices ladies and you know you hate nine of them, please don’t respond, “It doesn’t matter to me.”
I! HATE! THAT!
If it really doesn’t matter, that’s fine (yet rare). I’ll pick one of the 10 and we can enjoy our miserably awkward first date in harmony; however, don’t tell me “yeah, the steak house sounds great!” when you’re secretly a closet vegetarian. Then we have to spend the whole date in awkward silence as I enjoy my medium tenderloin and you nibble on your ranch dipped celery stick in…read more.
SBM family, what are some of your first date turn offs? What was your worst first date experience? Have you ever met someone awesome on-line that turned out to be…less than awesome…off-line?
PS… if you say me, we fighting and then I’m leaking pics. Have a nice day.
SBM family, what are some of your first date turn offs? A man who repeatedly says, idk, or whatever u want to do, or where-ever you want to go when asked where do you want to go, what do you want to do?
Someone who talks too much, someone who is too quiet, someone who smells bad, someone who's car breaks down during the date. Men who expect and act pressed to have sex on the first date and don't even bring condoms. Never had any of these happen to me except repeatedly saying they didn't care where we went and what we did, and the men who act pressed to have sex on the first date.
What was your worst first date experience? Only really bad 1st date experience that I can recall is when the guys were fake azz posers who looked nothing like their pics. I met one on yahoo personals, the other on okc.
Have you ever met someone awesome on-line that turned out to be…less than awesome…off-line? Yes. Too many men act pressed for sex on the first date and expect it. Wanting it is one thing, trying way too hard and acting pressed for it is another. That is a huge turn-off.
I feel you on that list indeed. I can say I haven't had a worst date simply because I don't date much. I usually have phone conversations with them well before I decide if I want to take them out on a date. I've talked to a few women in the past, but not all of them ended up on dates simply because I discovered I didn't want anything further as I'm sure they felt the same way. Either way, no harm no foul and no more time and effort was wasted.
Here’s the thing about that, especially if you’re online dating, who wants to talk on the phone for more than a few days before meeting? I’m not a 12-year-old girl. And I find most men do better in person than chatting it up on the phone. Sometimes we drag those phone conversations out and turn ourselves off from a potential mate.
I do online dating. I actually prefer talking on the phone once or twice prior to meeting. If I can't connect with you on the phone or have a decent conversation then I highly doubt we will connect in person. This method saves me time and awkward first dates.
Talking on the phone prior to meeting is always a good thing.
Even if u briefly meet someone out in the street in passing or out and about it's always good to garner more info about them over the phone prior to going out on a date with them.
I never did the online dating thing. I don't knock it, but there's something to be said of seeing the first impression of meeting a young lady that I don't get online.
This is pretty easy, although I believe women don't believe that men have bad dates unless it ends in us not getting the cheeks. After talking to a few lady friends about my experiences, they were surprised that some of us hate going through the dating thing.
1. What are some of your first date turn offs?
– Playing with her new phone instead of talking to me despite the fact that I said it was rude. Telling me to hold on didn't help her cause much either. <DEL>
– Asking me if I'd like to go to a particular well known and rather pricey restaurant for lunch, I agree. Considering the cost of this restaurant (food was good just sayin I was between paydays). I thought she'd at least be considerate and contribute something but she played the old "I didn't bring any money with me" thing leaving me with the bill. That bill was probably two tanks of gas and her showing no concern was a turn off. <DEL> She worked a 9 to 5 too, the least she could've done was cover the tip but we've been through this before.
– Homegirl showed up but didn't lotion up her feet. I took her nowhere that I would be noticed.
What was your worst first date experience?
– I suggested going to the park since I was a broke college student. Once we arrived at the park, she decided it wasn't good enough and tried to call me out on being "spontaneous." So…we made an impromptu trip to Atlantic City where she told me "I don't think this is going to work." Thanks for telling me that after this trip. That's the reason I will not go on a long trip with anyone unless they have the title of my girl.
Have you ever met someone awesome on-line that turned out to be…less than awesome…off-line?
Sure, but that's the old bait and switch you expect from some of these characters on the internets.
Personally i refer to the first 2 meet-up's as "meet & greets" and number 3 is what I consider the first date! However i think the other person assumes they are dates right from the beginning *Kanye shrug*.
I had a meet & greet over this weekend, the guy picked the spot- a steakhouse (haa haa) but he didnt eat. I was an hour late- so he must have been starving. All he had was 1 drink. In his mind, we had a dinner date, but if you- the person who is on a dinner date arent going to eat dinner- then whats going on? I ordered my juicy fillet, but it was so awkward i just took a few stabs at it and left it. Obviously , I was ready to pay for my meal- but he insisted on paying for everything. I still dont understand why he didnt eat, after he picked the restaurant. *Kanye shrug*
Worst first date experiences involve any mention of sex (not gender) during the first M&G. Its like- what kind of women do you attract with topics of discussion like that? And i wonder "wait, why am i here again ???" then i suddenly remember a friend with a grandmother who has a cat, that had a puppy with the bird next door. Basically, i have to go and ill call you when i figure the solution to my friends problem!! #itscomplicated
Have you ever met someone awesome on-line that turned out to be…less than awesome…off-line? He was doing his medical practicals in my city, seemed good on paper- decent conversation for the first hour; then the thirst peered its head *no pun intended* and i told his not-yet-a-doctor-azz where to get off!
Maybe the guy did eat at the steakhouse – but since you were an hour late, he went ahead because he was hungry. And that's why he didn't eat when you got there – he was full.
He didnt eat because i asked him he had already eaten. Whatever his reasons were, i just found it weird!
Tey he may not have had the money to pay for your meal and his so he played it off with the "I'm not hungry thing" or maybe he was a vegan or one of those "I don't eat red meat" types. But he wanted to impress u and wanted u to like him so he just went with the flow.
You got a good dinner out of it so it's all good.
Yup thats what I thought too Bree…
Dated that Guy, but Id rather have the "lets both eat at a moderately priced restaurant" Guy instead! lol
I haven't been on a whole lot of first dates, but to be honest, I enjoy them. It's around date #3 and #4 that I don't like because that's when the conversations start to run dry if you don't have anything in common. It's also the time where you have to tell the guy you aren't really interested in seeing him anymore. I'm SSOOO bad at cutting ties with people. It's the worst.
My worst first date: We planned to meet on a Friday night for dinner. He asks what time, I say whenever you get home from work and are ready to go (he got off work at 5). He agrees, but doesn't text me back until 8:00pm saying to pick him up at 9:00pm. So I agree to pick him up and when I get there he asks me to wait in the living room while he showers. I was peeved but I said I'd wait. Fifteen minutes passed so I got up and left his place. Clearly no respect for time.
He called back wondering where I went and convinced me for dinner. The only reason I did it was because I was damn hungry by then, and told him he better be paying. (I usually go dutch on first dates)
Damn and u had to pick him up??? U better than me Dana….I would've been like u need to catch a cab or public trans and meet me at the spot.
I hate having to put folks out my ride that work my nerves and I don't wanna deal with them.
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Well I have been on plenty of dates over the years and I must say the vast majority have been pretty good even if nothing came out of it than just a friendship. I think the biggest turn-off for me is a woman who has no conversation and stays constantly in her phone. This rarely has occurred, but since entering back into the dating game, I noticed some women don't think texting or being on twitter is rude at a dinner table.
The worst thing people do on first dates is be somebody they aren't in hopes the date will like them more. All this does is waste the other persons time because months later they see the real you and it's like dang who dis? Be yourself if they don't like you move on. And when you're on a date please give Instagram a rest and put your attention on the person you're in the room with
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I’ve talked to a few women in the past, but not all of them ended up on dates simply because I discovered I didn’t want anything further as I’m sure they felt the same way. Either way, no harm no foul and no more time and effort was wasted. click here
I was about to say something on this subject. But now i can see that everything on this subject is very awesome and intense, so i have nothing to say here. I am just going through all the issues and being valued.
One of my major turn offs is when a guy who has a thick accent and has the ability to speak more properly and more clearly DOESN'T do so. Like a think southern accent. And I am constantly asking what what that? and huh? You know I can't understand you, so speak more clearly. With this particular guy it was almost like he got a kick out of doing it or something. Needless to say we no longer speak.
Also when the guys actions don't fit his surroundings. I can get a little hood but there is a time and place for everything. Why are you acting hood, we're in a museum? If a guy can't adapt his because and language, super huge turn off!
*what was that
*can't adapt his behavior
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